Speaker 1: Hi Heart podcasts, heem More Kiss podcast playlist and listen
Speaker 1: live on the free iHeart app. It is time for
Speaker 1: something we do every Thursday, and that is ask Guncut.
Speaker 1: It has become a staple of our podcast life on
Speaker 1: Cut and it's where you guys call in with your deep,
Speaker 1: you're dark and you're burning questions and even though we
Speaker 1: are completely unqualified, we do our best answer them.
Speaker 2: We have Emily on the phone.
Speaker 3: Hey Emily, Hi Emily, what's the problem?
Speaker 4: Hi guys. Okay, So basically, there was a guy I dated,
Speaker 4: maybe like three or four years ago. Yeah, we were
Speaker 4: quite serious, but like we never like were boyfriend and girlfriend,
Speaker 4: and due to like careers and stuff in the sense
Speaker 4: that like I work a normal job and he would
Speaker 4: work weird hours, it just never eventuated and my work
Speaker 4: took me other places. Anyways, I just have never been
Speaker 4: able to stop thinking about him, like you think.
Speaker 3: Easy kind of the one that got away.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And the worst bit about it is I'm never
Speaker 4: one to like, I'm such a girl's girl, right, Like
Speaker 4: I would never do anything. But he has a girlfriend
Speaker 4: now and they've been together for a year, and I
Speaker 4: thought it would just go away.
Speaker 2: But it's not have you dated other people and then
Speaker 2: it just doesn't feel right? Are you in a relationship
Speaker 2: now doesn't feel right?
Speaker 4: I have dated other people in the past, I have
Speaker 4: had a relationship in those three to four years, and yeah,
Speaker 4: I was still thinking about him.
Speaker 3: Do you have any contact with him?
Speaker 4: This is so bad. I do swear. I swear such
Speaker 4: a girl's girl, like I would never move in on him.
Speaker 4: But we still chat. Yeah, here and there about like
Speaker 4: whatever's happening in the world, and like things I know
Speaker 4: he likes.
Speaker 1: Okay, so does he I know he likes Does he
Speaker 1: ever give you the indication like, does he ever overstep
Speaker 1: the mark? Or is he giving you the indication that like,
Speaker 1: had it been different, he would have wanted it.
Speaker 3: To work out.
Speaker 4: So basically, back in October, we had like a drunk
Speaker 4: phone call and he was in a relationship at this time,
Speaker 4: and he said, oh, like we just didn't work out
Speaker 4: because our life paths didn't go that way. And he
Speaker 4: still thinks of me nicely. But he tells his partner
Speaker 4: everything and he's completely open with her and trusting with her.
Speaker 4: And I would never do anything to hurt a relationship
Speaker 4: or I wouldn't even like let him do something to
Speaker 4: affect that, because I know what that could mean if
Speaker 4: I were to get in a relationship with him and
Speaker 4: stuff by.
Speaker 1: That, Emily, I know what I mean, Yes I do,
Speaker 1: But I also just think that sometimes the fantasy is
Speaker 1: better than the real life. Like I think that you
Speaker 1: can build it up in your head and be like,
Speaker 1: he's the one that's got away if we had another chance,
Speaker 1: maybe he's my person, but sometimes they do get away.
Speaker 3: But he's not your person.
Speaker 1: He's got a girlfriend, so if he wanted to be
Speaker 1: your person, he would free up. He's a calendar that
Speaker 1: he hasn't done that, and he's definitely stayed committed in
Speaker 1: a relationship.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I kind of think there isn't much that you can do,
Speaker 1: and I don't know if I would be putting myself
Speaker 1: in the firing line of telling him how I feel
Speaker 1: when he's in a relationship.
Speaker 3: But it doesn't agree with me, for it's looking at.
Speaker 2: Me like she's NOSSA, this doesn't happen. No, I'm not
Speaker 2: saying that doesn't happen. Often, I genuinely don't know what
Speaker 2: to tell you because I am like a quite a
Speaker 2: romantic and I like the idea of like I do
Speaker 2: believe that there can be right people for each other
Speaker 2: at wrong times, Like I know people where that's happened.
Speaker 3: I believe in that.
Speaker 2: I do believe in going after what she want, but
Speaker 2: obviously within reason. I don't mean that about like being
Speaker 2: a homewreck and breaking up relationships. But it's if you
Speaker 2: genuinely believe someone is the one that makes me be
Speaker 2: Like if he was in a relationship, I'd be like,
Speaker 2: turn up to his house, like tell him. If he
Speaker 2: says he's not interested, it's fine, move on. At least
Speaker 2: you know that and you can put it to bed.
Speaker 2: This is what I think he can do. It's wrong
Speaker 2: to try and break up a relationship is wrong to
Speaker 2: do the wrong thing and emotionally cheat and cheat and
Speaker 2: things like that.
Speaker 3: You are well.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying she has not stopped thinking about him.
Speaker 2: She loves him, she thinks he's the one.
Speaker 3: This is what I say, get a dog, no therapy.
Speaker 2: I would say, Hey, really, honestly, I don't think we
Speaker 2: can maintain this friendship anymore. I still have feelings for you,
Speaker 2: so I don't think it's right, and I'm going to
Speaker 2: do the right thing by your relationship and me that way,
Speaker 2: you are being a good person and pulling back. As
Speaker 2: long as you commit to pulling back, you've also let
Speaker 2: him know why, which is like, my feelings are still there.
Speaker 3: Then he can go and do with it what he will.
Speaker 2: He'll either feel nothing for you and say like I
Speaker 2: understand and get on with your life, or he'll be like, wow,
Speaker 2: I've always felt the same way and didn't think she did,
Speaker 2: and then something problem.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: The problem I have with it is that no matter
Speaker 1: what you do, even if you do throw that out
Speaker 1: there and he goes and turns around and says like,
Speaker 1: oh now I have confused feelings. The amount of like
Speaker 1: back and forth because no one's going to receive that
Speaker 1: information and then instantly go, you know what, I have
Speaker 1: those feelings for you too. I'm going to break up
Speaker 1: with my girlfriend, move out of the house, and then
Speaker 1: we can start a consensual relationship together.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna cheat. I'm gonna be a stand up guy.
Speaker 1: There's nowhere in between except for it to either be
Speaker 1: he agrees, and then there's cheating for him to get
Speaker 1: the validation that he needs in order to leave the relationship.
Speaker 1: He's not going to from a one line of you
Speaker 1: saying he's still got feelings, break up with his current
Speaker 1: girlfriend and move out of the house they live in.
Speaker 1: He's going to need way more validation, which just means
Speaker 1: you're putting yourself in a drama field unnecessary relationship with
Speaker 1: someone who has got a relationship and I just think
Speaker 1: you don't need this in your life.
Speaker 2: Well she does need him in his life when he's
Speaker 2: a penguin.
Speaker 1: No, there's more than one person for everyone you meet
Speaker 1: someone else, Emily.
Speaker 3: What are you going to do? Whose advice you're taking?
Speaker 3: Lores on mine?
Speaker 4: Part of me is still like do I just suffer
Speaker 4: in silence?
Speaker 1: Just keep waiting, don't keep waiting, Just don't wait.
Speaker 3: D'en Emily date other people I have?
Speaker 4: I have none of them.
Speaker 3: Oh, Emily, I do not envy you.
Speaker 1: Good luck with this and make sure you us a
Speaker 1: call back and tell us how it all goes.
Speaker 4: I will, Thanks girls, Thanks Emily,