WEBVTT - ASK UNCUT - A Matty J special

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<v Speaker 1>Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Live

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<v Speaker 1>Fun Part This is us gun Cut. It is out

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<v Speaker 1>Thursday edition Out Down and Dirnie Quick Edition where we

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<v Speaker 1>answer your deepest, darkest secrets. I'm Brittany and I have

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<v Speaker 1>a very special co host on the episode today because

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<v Speaker 1>Laura has an arm hanging out of a vagina and

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<v Speaker 1>she couldn't quite be here with us today. Maddie Day

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<v Speaker 1>will welcome to the pod.

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<v Speaker 2>Look, it's good to be here. I have to start

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<v Speaker 2>off by apologizing, because is.

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<v Speaker 1>This a mutual apology.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, look, I'll put my hand up and say that

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<v Speaker 2>I was at fault here. Obviously, this episode coming out

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<v Speaker 2>is a little bit late. When we recorded this a

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<v Speaker 2>couple of days ago, I looked at my microphone. It

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<v Speaker 2>was plugged. I kind of handed it to you. I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't say plug it in. I think you grabbed it.

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<v Speaker 2>We started talking next thing the episode's finished.

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<v Speaker 1>Let me explain this a little bit better, guys. Mattie,

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<v Speaker 1>Jay and I did record this a few days ago.

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<v Speaker 1>It was always planned. We had three microphones sitting on

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<v Speaker 1>the desk because we always have an extra microphone for

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<v Speaker 1>when we interview people. Matt handed me his cord and

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<v Speaker 1>somehow in the kerfuffle, I have plugged in the third

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<v Speaker 1>microphone into his port and I left his unplugged. We

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<v Speaker 1>then proceeded to record an entire episode that was quality

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<v Speaker 1>without Matt even it was pretty good.

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<v Speaker 2>It's pretty good.

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<v Speaker 1>It was solid.

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<v Speaker 2>And when I say pretty good, we walked away being like,

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<v Speaker 2>nailed it. That was absolute golden Like we.

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<v Speaker 1>Mic dropped and it was so easy to mic drop

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<v Speaker 1>because it wasn't plugged.

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<v Speaker 2>So I want to apologize. Obviously, we take this very serious.

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<v Speaker 2>This says, you know, it's a little hobby, but at

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<v Speaker 2>the same time, oh, it's not a hobby.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, Laura, it's like, well, squeeze me.

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<v Speaker 2>This is like, okay, I say it's a hobby because well,

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<v Speaker 2>we record this in the bedroom. You know, I feel

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<v Speaker 2>like a lot of people out there.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, Laura and I still take that seriously. It

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't matter where we are. We take this seriously.

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<v Speaker 2>This is a very serious job. And I hate to

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<v Speaker 2>come in here and not treat this and at the

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<v Speaker 2>level that it deserves.

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<v Speaker 1>I love and I appreciate that you're trying to take

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<v Speaker 1>responsibility for this, but it would be very unprofessional of me,

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<v Speaker 1>and I wouldn't be a very good friend if I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't say. I was literally the one that didn't plug

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<v Speaker 1>it in. So I feel like we're equal. I think

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<v Speaker 1>we can meet halfway.

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<v Speaker 2>Will you make mistakes, It'll never happen again. I apologize,

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<v Speaker 2>but I've been making a lot of mistakes lately.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh God, what have you done?

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<v Speaker 2>Now? I've had a bad run. You know, Sometimes you

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<v Speaker 2>just just some weeks are worse than others.

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<v Speaker 1>Literally that's me this week. And the microphone was to

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<v Speaker 1>stop it off. So yes, I feel you.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know what is going on, but I had

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<v Speaker 2>an accident at Icebergs as in the pool, the pool,

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<v Speaker 2>not the restaurant. I've been really trying to get into

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<v Speaker 2>my swimming.

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<v Speaker 1>Lately, okay, like a new fitness venture.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like just something different. I'm mixing it up. Laura

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<v Speaker 2>is a really good swimmer. I've never been a great swimmer.

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<v Speaker 2>Running was more so my sport of choice. And at

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<v Speaker 2>thirty three, I'm like, do you know what? It's time

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<v Speaker 2>to swim?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, what have you done?

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<v Speaker 2>Except but anyone doesn't know Iceberg's pool. It's an ocean pool,

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<v Speaker 2>so they clean it out once a week. Sometimes it

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<v Speaker 2>gets like a bit of a build up of sand

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<v Speaker 2>at the bottom of the pool, right, sure, Yeah, in

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<v Speaker 2>your lane you have two black lanes marked on the

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<v Speaker 2>bottom of the pool, so you always have to hug

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<v Speaker 2>the left. Yeah, you just swim straight exactly. Swimming straight.

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<v Speaker 2>It's very simple, not hard to do. Accept. At one

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<v Speaker 2>point I touched the wall, turned around and I got

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<v Speaker 2>lost because the black mark was all hidden by the sand.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, you got lost. It wasmod got lost going straight.

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<v Speaker 2>It was well, yeah, because I couldn't I couldn't see

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<v Speaker 2>the black line. And then only when I kind of

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<v Speaker 2>realized that maybe I had drifted over, and then I

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<v Speaker 2>did my stroke and I ended up punching this old

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<v Speaker 2>man right in the forehead, like between the eyes, and

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<v Speaker 2>because you know, I was really trying to swim with

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<v Speaker 2>a bit of pace here and I've just clocked him

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<v Speaker 2>hit him in fourth I'm like, yeah, I've dropped this

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<v Speaker 2>old guy. And I was worried for a second because

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<v Speaker 2>I thought maybe this guy's gonna.

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<v Speaker 1>Be playing on the bottom of the pool.

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<v Speaker 2>Knocked out. And he got up and he was fine,

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<v Speaker 2>but he was furious and he was blowing up and

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<v Speaker 2>he was.

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<v Speaker 1>Like, what are you doing?

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<v Speaker 2>Like you're an idiot. And it was on a Saturday morning,

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<v Speaker 2>and it was in the lane that was closest to

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<v Speaker 2>where all the seats are, so everyone is there on

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<v Speaker 2>a Saturday. You can imagine how busy Icebergs is if you.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't know Iceberg's guys. It's always packed, and it's packed

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<v Speaker 1>with the really serious swimmers. There's the squad training.

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<v Speaker 2>Did they squad training?

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<v Speaker 1>Squad training? There's the VIP members that have been there

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<v Speaker 1>every weekend for their entire existence. That's probably the man

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<v Speaker 1>you punched out. He was probably the vice president of

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<v Speaker 1>the Icebergs.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm now banned from Icebergs. I literally I had to

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<v Speaker 2>like get out of the pool after that lab and

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<v Speaker 2>with the tail between you. I came home and Laura

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<v Speaker 2>was like, well you're home quick, and I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm never swimming.

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<v Speaker 3>Again, are you actually band though, Well, I'm going to

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<v Speaker 3>take a break.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to take a week off and maybe I'll

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<v Speaker 2>just stick to swimming in the ocean, not in the.

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<v Speaker 1>Pool, or maybe just go to like a normal mainstream pool,

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<v Speaker 1>but not like the busiest, most popular pool in Australia.

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<v Speaker 2>I thought I was I thought I was up for it.

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<v Speaker 2>I thought I could do it.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I love that. Well, guys, we do have some

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<v Speaker 1>questions today for you. Matt put some questions out on

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<v Speaker 1>his story and you guys wrote in hundreds of questions.

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<v Speaker 1>Well that's what you've told me anyway.

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<v Speaker 2>Matte had a really great response. Lots of questions. There

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<v Speaker 2>were things like why do guys sit down and pee?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I mean, that's that's an aim thing, isn't it?

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<v Speaker 1>Like that's a mess thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, sometimes it's just nice to relax. So lots of

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<v Speaker 2>questions like that I answered actually on my stories.

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<v Speaker 1>So is that a lazy thing when guys sit down

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<v Speaker 1>to pee?

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<v Speaker 2>I think so?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I just want to sit on your phone soon.

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<v Speaker 1>Most about audience of females, we probably don't need to

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<v Speaker 1>go into that one. No, I am going to kick

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<v Speaker 1>start with a question of my own. This was something

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<v Speaker 1>that I sort of just came in and mentioned to

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<v Speaker 1>Laura and Matt and they were like, this is actually

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<v Speaker 1>good question. This happens a lot. This is really common.

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<v Speaker 1>We get it a lot. So I was like, you

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<v Speaker 1>know what, I'm just going to put it out there.

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<v Speaker 1>You guys know that I have been seeing someone lately

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<v Speaker 1>and that is not a secret. The Daily Mail picked

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<v Speaker 1>up on some stuff. It's like I've put some stuff

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<v Speaker 1>on my story. It's not a lot. I'm not shouting

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<v Speaker 1>it from the rooftop, but it's out there that I'm

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<v Speaker 1>seeing someone.

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<v Speaker 3>You're off the market, Yes, you couldn't getting stuff out.

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<v Speaker 1>What my question is is that this.

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<v Speaker 2>Week how I say so, you're you're very happy right

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<v Speaker 2>now with how things are progressing. You're not looking elsewhere,

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<v Speaker 2>so to speak.

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<v Speaker 1>I am very happy, and I am not on the

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<v Speaker 1>dating apps anymore. I am very focused on this. One

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<v Speaker 1>human that is providing me with a lot of happiness.

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<v Speaker 2>Is a human. Thanks for confirming you, guys.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to give too much away. Here's a human. No,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm very happy. But my question was right, okay, now

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<v Speaker 1>I am one hundred happy. This is just something I

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<v Speaker 1>thought was really fascinating. I was seeing someone at the

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<v Speaker 1>start of last year and it was like this weird

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<v Speaker 1>on and off, a lot of texting, a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>face timing all the time, a couple of dates here

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<v Speaker 1>and there. He was like, never very casual, but I

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<v Speaker 1>quite liked him. And he was like, I really like

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<v Speaker 1>you too, And he used the excuse of I think

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<v Speaker 1>you were so perfect, that if we actually started dating,

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<v Speaker 1>you could be it for me and I'm not ready

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<v Speaker 1>for that. That was his excuse. Now I know better

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<v Speaker 1>than anyone that that's just an excuse. You just don't

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<v Speaker 1>want to date me whatever. But he didn't ever want

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<v Speaker 1>to not have me around. It was a very weird time,

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<v Speaker 1>but it was never like I don't want to be

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<v Speaker 1>in a relationship at all. It's not you, it's no

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<v Speaker 1>one don't want it. So I was like, okay, cool,

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<v Speaker 1>Like so fine, let's move on, not going to talk anymore,

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<v Speaker 1>but like, also stop calling me incesantly and stop messaging me.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know, as soon as he knew that I

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<v Speaker 1>was seeing someone now because he has found out because

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<v Speaker 1>we we're still friends, we're not not friends at all,

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<v Speaker 1>but he's found out.

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<v Speaker 3>He's seen some stuff and he's come crawling back.

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<v Speaker 1>This week, I got and I quote you up. I

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<v Speaker 1>got a you up message? Yeah, And then I proceeded

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<v Speaker 1>to say, well, like yes, I am up, but also

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<v Speaker 1>I'm busy. Then he wrote want a visitor.

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<v Speaker 2>It's so typical, though, isn't it so typical?

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<v Speaker 1>I said no. I was really honest, guys, because I

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<v Speaker 1>believe in that. I was like, hey, like, ah, that

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<v Speaker 1>ship sort of have sailed. I'm seeing someone. I'm happy.

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<v Speaker 1>Then he started to FaceTime me. I was I literally said,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm happy, I'm seeing someone. Take care. And then he

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<v Speaker 1>started face timing me and he wanted he was like

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<v Speaker 1>really trying to see me.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, it's so typical that as soon as you

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<v Speaker 2>say no, they then come on even stronger, and then

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<v Speaker 2>the more you pull away, the more they then try

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<v Speaker 2>more and more and more.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, this is the question, why not just for me,

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<v Speaker 1>but for all these women, because I have so many

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<v Speaker 1>women that write to us saying like, as soon as

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<v Speaker 1>I don't show interest anymore, they want me. Are they

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<v Speaker 1>actually interested or is it just the fact that they're

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<v Speaker 1>not getting attention anymore and they feel like something is

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<v Speaker 1>slipping between their fingers? What do you think it is?

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<v Speaker 1>Is it more of a like, oh my god, I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't realize what I could have had now that they're gone.

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<v Speaker 1>Or is it just like, hey, give me some more attention.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's as simple as guys just guys want

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<v Speaker 2>what they can't have. You know, sometimes you're at a

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<v Speaker 2>restaurant and you go, oh, I have the special, and

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<v Speaker 2>they go, oh, so the specials just run out my.

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<v Speaker 1>Damn, that's all I want it.

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<v Speaker 2>And then you're like that, yeah, I don't want anything

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<v Speaker 2>else right now. I just want that special? Is it

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<v Speaker 2>any way you can whip up a special? No, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>so sorry it's gone, and you're like shit, yeah right,

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<v Speaker 2>I stop thinking about the special.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. So you think it's just fake news.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just it's really shit. It is so shit. It's

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<v Speaker 2>so shit because it's just messing you about. But I

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<v Speaker 2>think it's wanting to know that they can still get

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<v Speaker 2>something they once had.

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<v Speaker 1>I tell you what, though it felt so great, would

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<v Speaker 1>be the one that's saying no. And I know that

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<v Speaker 1>he would have been like sorry, what, like, what do

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<v Speaker 1>you mean no? Not answering his calls because we were

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<v Speaker 1>fairly I'm always answering it. So anyway, there's power in that. Ladies,

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<v Speaker 1>if that happens to you, be the one that shuts

0:09:41.880 --> 0:09:43.200
<v Speaker 1>him down. It feels really good.

0:09:43.280 --> 0:09:46.200
<v Speaker 2>Actually, it's a nice segue into this question Britt that

0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:48.959
<v Speaker 2>we had. This person wrote in and said, I'm curious

0:09:48.960 --> 0:09:51.640
<v Speaker 2>to whether guys are legitimate when they say that they're

0:09:51.640 --> 0:09:54.600
<v Speaker 2>not ready and timing isn't right for our relationship. Are

0:09:54.640 --> 0:09:56.760
<v Speaker 2>they being genuine? Or is that just a cop out?

0:09:57.000 --> 0:09:57.720
<v Speaker 3>Ah?

0:09:57.800 --> 0:10:00.680
<v Speaker 1>Do you know I hate that sentence. I hate that

0:10:00.840 --> 0:10:04.720
<v Speaker 1>so much because personally and I have come full circle.

0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:06.319
<v Speaker 1>I used to back in the day, I used to

0:10:06.360 --> 0:10:08.640
<v Speaker 1>be a big believer that timing is everything. I was

0:10:08.640 --> 0:10:11.360
<v Speaker 1>a big believer on I thought I had met my human,

0:10:11.440 --> 0:10:13.640
<v Speaker 1>my penguin a long long time ago, and he used

0:10:13.640 --> 0:10:16.160
<v Speaker 1>to always say to me, you're the right person, but

0:10:16.200 --> 0:10:19.040
<v Speaker 1>the timing's wrong, like maybe down the track, the timing's wrong.

0:10:19.040 --> 0:10:21.640
<v Speaker 1>And I used to believe that. Then I waited three

0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:23.760
<v Speaker 1>years and we met up again because he was like,

0:10:23.760 --> 0:10:25.240
<v Speaker 1>I think the timing is right now, and I was like, yeah,

0:10:25.240 --> 0:10:27.160
<v Speaker 1>that's right, and many beginning he was like, it's still wrong.

0:10:27.679 --> 0:10:28.719
<v Speaker 1>And that's when I was like, do you know what,

0:10:28.760 --> 0:10:32.200
<v Speaker 1>fuck you, the timing's not wrong, you're wrong. The fact is,

0:10:32.480 --> 0:10:35.880
<v Speaker 1>if two people, or a job, or an opportunity, if

0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:38.600
<v Speaker 1>any of these present themselves to you, you can make

0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:41.800
<v Speaker 1>the timing right. I don't believe, and I genuinely don't

0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:43.760
<v Speaker 1>believe from the bottom of my heart, that there is

0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:46.960
<v Speaker 1>a perfect time for everything. I think there are obviously

0:10:47.040 --> 0:10:49.320
<v Speaker 1>going to be more suited times and things like that,

0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:52.280
<v Speaker 1>but I think you need to grab opportunities, and you

0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:54.280
<v Speaker 1>need to make things right for you, and you need

0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:56.400
<v Speaker 1>to put the effort in to make something work if

0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:58.480
<v Speaker 1>you really really like someone.

0:10:58.840 --> 0:11:01.680
<v Speaker 2>Look, I agree, I think there's never going to be

0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:04.560
<v Speaker 2>like that perfect time. But I know that from my

0:11:04.600 --> 0:11:07.280
<v Speaker 2>own personal experience when I moved to London. When I

0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:11.160
<v Speaker 2>first arrived there, I definitely wasn't looking for a relationship.

0:11:11.240 --> 0:11:15.280
<v Speaker 2>My priorities were work first and foremost. I got a

0:11:15.280 --> 0:11:17.920
<v Speaker 2>brand new job and that's what I wanted to excel at.

0:11:18.120 --> 0:11:20.240
<v Speaker 2>I wanted to meet new mates, I wanted to travel

0:11:20.280 --> 0:11:24.120
<v Speaker 2>as well. I didn't want to spend time investing my

0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:26.959
<v Speaker 2>energy into a relationship. Like I met some people who

0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:29.200
<v Speaker 2>I thought were really great at the time, but I

0:11:29.240 --> 0:11:31.600
<v Speaker 2>was pretty open and saying I'm just not looking for

0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:35.080
<v Speaker 2>anything serious right now. So for me, timing wasn't right.

0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:39.400
<v Speaker 2>But I know that when I met Laura, timing was great.

0:11:39.480 --> 0:11:41.080
<v Speaker 2>You know, I was at a point in my life

0:11:41.120 --> 0:11:45.120
<v Speaker 2>where I was really ready to prioritize somebody else, And

0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:46.720
<v Speaker 2>I think it was the same for Laura as well.

0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:50.280
<v Speaker 2>She definitely had her timeline very in line with mine.

0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:52.360
<v Speaker 1>Well, I mean, the timing was right for both of

0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:54.560
<v Speaker 1>you because you were on a dating show, like that's

0:11:54.559 --> 0:11:55.320
<v Speaker 1>what made it right.

0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:57.960
<v Speaker 2>So I think timing does come into play. But I

0:11:57.960 --> 0:12:02.120
<v Speaker 2>think when someone says I'm just not ready for a relationship,

0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:04.920
<v Speaker 2>I think it doesn't really matter if they're trying to

0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:07.120
<v Speaker 2>be genuine or that maybe they just don't want to

0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:09.720
<v Speaker 2>hurt your feelings. I think what they're saying is that

0:12:09.760 --> 0:12:11.920
<v Speaker 2>they don't want to be with you. So when someone's

0:12:11.920 --> 0:12:13.920
<v Speaker 2>trying to show their true colors, take it for what

0:12:13.960 --> 0:12:14.280
<v Speaker 2>it is.

0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:16.840
<v Speaker 1>I really really agree with that. I think what you

0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:19.400
<v Speaker 1>just say is really important. And this is my biggest

0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:21.280
<v Speaker 1>piece of advice that I always give on all of

0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:24.760
<v Speaker 1>our episodes. If someone does want to be with you,

0:12:24.800 --> 0:12:26.599
<v Speaker 1>if someone has feelings for you, if they want to

0:12:26.640 --> 0:12:28.680
<v Speaker 1>see you, if they want to contact you or talk

0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:31.720
<v Speaker 1>to you, they one hundred percent absolutely will And I

0:12:31.760 --> 0:12:33.440
<v Speaker 1>know you will agree with that, Matt. If a guy

0:12:33.760 --> 0:12:36.400
<v Speaker 1>wants to message you, he will find time. He won't

0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:38.800
<v Speaker 1>be like I've had a really busy week. He probably

0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:40.520
<v Speaker 1>has had a busy week, but he will still find

0:12:40.520 --> 0:12:43.200
<v Speaker 1>the time to contact you. If someone is saying to

0:12:43.200 --> 0:12:45.440
<v Speaker 1>you like I'm not looking for a relationship right now,

0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:48.080
<v Speaker 1>the time is just not right, like Matt, just said.

0:12:48.160 --> 0:12:52.360
<v Speaker 1>The reasons irrelevant. The underlying message here is I don't

0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:54.520
<v Speaker 1>want to be with you. I don't have the time

0:12:54.760 --> 0:12:57.160
<v Speaker 1>for you. It's tough love, one hundred percent. And I've

0:12:57.160 --> 0:12:59.120
<v Speaker 1>been on the receiving end of it. Everyone's been on

0:12:59.160 --> 0:13:01.160
<v Speaker 1>the receiving end of it, and sucks like no one

0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:03.880
<v Speaker 1>wants this unrequited love. But totally, the best thing you

0:13:03.880 --> 0:13:05.800
<v Speaker 1>can do is be really honest with yourself, and that's

0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:07.520
<v Speaker 1>what I do now. I'm just like, hey, brute, guess

0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:09.719
<v Speaker 1>what the guy doesn't like you? Move on? Move on?

0:13:09.920 --> 0:13:12.839
<v Speaker 2>Because I think the right person at the wrong time,

0:13:13.160 --> 0:13:14.520
<v Speaker 2>it's still the wrong person.

0:13:15.200 --> 0:13:18.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Ultimately, if the right person comes into your life,

0:13:18.240 --> 0:13:19.920
<v Speaker 1>you're both going to make the time to make it work.

0:13:20.080 --> 0:13:20.760
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely.

0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:22.640
<v Speaker 1>All right, let's move on to the next question.

0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:24.520
<v Speaker 2>Question number two. You go, Brett, you go this one.

0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:27.120
<v Speaker 1>I've got this one. It's really important question. Actually, I

0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:29.400
<v Speaker 1>think a lot of people probably find themselves in this

0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:32.520
<v Speaker 1>sticky situation. I can't answer this, so it's purely for you.

0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:35.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm pregnant and that's not me. That's the question. I'm

0:13:35.960 --> 0:13:39.600
<v Speaker 1>daily mail. Don't run with that. I'm pregnant. I'm twenty

0:13:39.640 --> 0:13:42.760
<v Speaker 1>five weeks and my boyfriend is not feeling comfortable being

0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:46.440
<v Speaker 1>romantic in the bedroom, aka, he doesn't want to get

0:13:46.520 --> 0:13:48.520
<v Speaker 1>down and dirty and he doesn't want to go to poundtown.

0:13:48.880 --> 0:13:51.400
<v Speaker 1>Should I be offended by this? And how can I

0:13:51.480 --> 0:13:52.840
<v Speaker 1>make him want to be intimate with me?

0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:56.120
<v Speaker 2>Gosh, it's tricky, isn't it. I fell into the category

0:13:56.160 --> 0:13:58.960
<v Speaker 2>of someone who found their partner really attractive when they

0:13:59.000 --> 0:14:02.040
<v Speaker 2>were pregnant. Grow up having like a pregnancy fetish.

0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:04.080
<v Speaker 1>You didn't like google pregnant women on porn.

0:14:04.000 --> 0:14:07.200
<v Speaker 2>Hub, never like you once before.

0:14:07.240 --> 0:14:09.360
<v Speaker 3>But anyway, curiosity killed the cat.

0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:13.640
<v Speaker 2>But when Laura was pregnant with Marley, I remember, I

0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:16.160
<v Speaker 2>just thought she was so beautiful, Like, if anything, I

0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:18.600
<v Speaker 2>wanted to have sex with them more, you know, right.

0:14:18.720 --> 0:14:20.760
<v Speaker 2>But I know that for other guys, I think they

0:14:20.880 --> 0:14:24.400
<v Speaker 2>really struggle with the concept of having sex knowing that

0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:27.360
<v Speaker 2>there's a little human in there, because I think psychologically

0:14:27.400 --> 0:14:29.800
<v Speaker 2>it can really impact, you know, trying to get into

0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:30.200
<v Speaker 2>the mood.

0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:31.960
<v Speaker 1>So do you think that they don't want to have

0:14:32.040 --> 0:14:34.560
<v Speaker 1>sex because they think they're going to spear the baby

0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:38.440
<v Speaker 1>in the head or cause some sort of traumatic injury,

0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:41.720
<v Speaker 1>or is it just because I disturbed that there's a

0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:42.920
<v Speaker 1>human life in there already.

0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:45.440
<v Speaker 2>I think it's just the psychology behind it, because obviously,

0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:49.240
<v Speaker 2>you know sex is very physical. But then I remember

0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:52.800
<v Speaker 2>there was one time, Britt, when Marley was just born,

0:14:53.440 --> 0:14:56.040
<v Speaker 2>she was asleep in the cop that was next to

0:14:56.080 --> 0:14:59.760
<v Speaker 2>our bed. We were having sex. We heard this little noise.

0:15:00.200 --> 0:15:03.120
<v Speaker 2>I looked across and she was awake, and she was

0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:05.480
<v Speaker 2>kind of standing up, holding onto the edge of the cot.

0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:09.880
<v Speaker 1>She's looking at you, and instantly, you know, I lost

0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:14.160
<v Speaker 1>my mojo. Yes, it's like when a dog poohs and

0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:15.640
<v Speaker 1>they look at you. They still lay the look eyes

0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:15.840
<v Speaker 1>with you.

0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:16.560
<v Speaker 2>There's nothing worse.

0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:18.320
<v Speaker 3>I've you've got to walk away, nothing worse.

0:15:18.440 --> 0:15:20.400
<v Speaker 2>I think for some people it can be a little

0:15:20.400 --> 0:15:22.880
<v Speaker 2>bit off putting, knowing that there's somebody else in the room.

0:15:23.160 --> 0:15:24.800
<v Speaker 1>So you think it's pretty normal. I guess there's probably

0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:27.400
<v Speaker 1>two categories, as the people that are just so hyper

0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:29.880
<v Speaker 1>attracted to pregnancy and they think it's beautiful and they

0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:31.840
<v Speaker 1>think it's sexy, because I have friends that have said

0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:34.520
<v Speaker 1>that too, that they just find their partner so attractive

0:15:34.560 --> 0:15:35.200
<v Speaker 1>when they're pregnant.

0:15:35.280 --> 0:15:37.760
<v Speaker 2>Yea, Laura's like beating me off with a stick right now.

0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:42.480
<v Speaker 2>But then there's other friends of mine who you know.

0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:44.200
<v Speaker 2>They were pretty open to me and said that they

0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:47.960
<v Speaker 2>really struggled to stay sexually active whilst their partner was

0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:51.200
<v Speaker 2>heavily pregnant. The thought of having sex in that period

0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:53.400
<v Speaker 2>of time wasn't appealing to them. But I think what's

0:15:53.440 --> 0:15:56.480
<v Speaker 2>really important is for this person to speak to her

0:15:56.560 --> 0:15:59.200
<v Speaker 2>partner and to really find out, well, what is it

0:15:59.320 --> 0:16:01.960
<v Speaker 2>about having sex that you're struggling with right now? Like

0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:03.680
<v Speaker 2>is it you know the concept? Because I think you

0:16:03.760 --> 0:16:06.320
<v Speaker 2>can have sex with the lights off, because sometimes out

0:16:06.320 --> 0:16:08.600
<v Speaker 2>of sight, out of mind, it can help to start

0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:11.080
<v Speaker 2>easing into being sexually active again. And there are some

0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:14.720
<v Speaker 2>positions that don't highlight the fact that your partner's pregnant,

0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:17.880
<v Speaker 2>Like Missionary is one where it's very obvious.

0:16:18.200 --> 0:16:19.440
<v Speaker 1>You think, like Doggie or something.

0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:21.880
<v Speaker 2>I think, so, yeah, yeah.

0:16:21.760 --> 0:16:24.000
<v Speaker 1>Okay, But then I think this is this is where

0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:27.720
<v Speaker 1>my mind immediately goes that if he's saying like, okay, fine,

0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:29.280
<v Speaker 1>I'll have sex with you, but let's turn the lights

0:16:29.280 --> 0:16:32.240
<v Speaker 1>off and flip you over. Knowing that she's a woman,

0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:36.120
<v Speaker 1>she's full holone, She's going to be like, excuse me,

0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:38.160
<v Speaker 1>you can get the hell out. You're gonna have sex

0:16:38.200 --> 0:16:39.960
<v Speaker 1>with the lights on a look at me, she will

0:16:40.040 --> 0:16:41.960
<v Speaker 1>be I think she'd be offended by that. I get

0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:43.960
<v Speaker 1>totally get what you're saying, but I just know is

0:16:44.000 --> 0:16:46.600
<v Speaker 1>a hormonal, pregnant woman that's not gonna go down.

0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:48.760
<v Speaker 2>Well, yeah, that's a good point, Britt, So okay, let

0:16:48.800 --> 0:16:51.760
<v Speaker 2>me rephrase that point if I may, you may. I

0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:54.160
<v Speaker 2>think it's very normal that the amount of sex couples

0:16:54.240 --> 0:16:58.720
<v Speaker 2>have may be reduced during pregnancy. But I think it's

0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:01.240
<v Speaker 2>still important to still be intimate. Because you can still

0:17:01.280 --> 0:17:04.200
<v Speaker 2>be intimate, you can still satisfy each other without actually

0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:05.080
<v Speaker 2>having sex.

0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:07.240
<v Speaker 1>I agree, and I think it's really important to keep

0:17:07.280 --> 0:17:09.960
<v Speaker 1>that intimacy. It's really important for both people to feel

0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:13.320
<v Speaker 1>loved and wanted and needed. You can still kiss and cuddle,

0:17:13.320 --> 0:17:14.760
<v Speaker 1>and you can still have really nice dinners. You can

0:17:14.760 --> 0:17:17.120
<v Speaker 1>still massage each other, you can still get the oils out,

0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:20.760
<v Speaker 1>you can still surprise each other. You could introduce sex

0:17:20.800 --> 0:17:23.080
<v Speaker 1>toys if it's the fact that you're still attracted to

0:17:23.160 --> 0:17:25.199
<v Speaker 1>each other, but you don't want to actually cross that

0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:28.680
<v Speaker 1>boundary because it is a psychological thing. The most important

0:17:28.680 --> 0:17:31.000
<v Speaker 1>thing here is to have a really open conversation, and

0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:34.720
<v Speaker 1>if you're feeling really neglected, and unloved and unwanted by

0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:37.440
<v Speaker 1>your partner. The worst thing you can do is turn

0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:39.560
<v Speaker 1>you back, roll over and go to bed quietly. You

0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:40.680
<v Speaker 1>need to express that.

0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:42.800
<v Speaker 2>Unless that's how you're going to start the doggie style.

0:17:42.560 --> 0:17:46.880
<v Speaker 1>Well you're going to back up on it. No. I mean,

0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:49.760
<v Speaker 1>like all jokes aside, I think it's really iportant just

0:17:49.760 --> 0:17:52.159
<v Speaker 1>to have that conversation and move from there as long

0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:55.000
<v Speaker 1>as you're both feeling understood, because otherwise it's going to escalate.

0:17:55.080 --> 0:17:57.480
<v Speaker 1>We all know what happens. Then it manifests inside you,

0:17:57.560 --> 0:17:59.200
<v Speaker 1>It gets toxic, and then it explodes.

0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:01.600
<v Speaker 2>You don't want to have nine months of no sex.

0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:03.879
<v Speaker 1>No or no action at all, like you need to

0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:06.359
<v Speaker 1>meet halfway. That would be a nightmare aka in the

0:18:06.400 --> 0:18:08.639
<v Speaker 1>middle of the bed halfway. Yes, okay, I think we

0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:11.160
<v Speaker 1>got that one well said. Okay, this is a quick one.

0:18:11.320 --> 0:18:15.120
<v Speaker 1>It reads Why does so many guys not reply on

0:18:15.280 --> 0:18:17.520
<v Speaker 1>dating apps? I think this is really common. I don't

0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:21.520
<v Speaker 1>actually think that this is just men involved. I know

0:18:21.760 --> 0:18:24.040
<v Speaker 1>a lot of women that don't reply on dating apps either.

0:18:24.160 --> 0:18:25.760
<v Speaker 1>I have been one of them in the past. I

0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:28.439
<v Speaker 1>will raise my hand and say that I have been

0:18:28.480 --> 0:18:29.080
<v Speaker 1>guilty of that.

0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:32.639
<v Speaker 2>Okay, when you weren't replying. What was the reason for

0:18:32.680 --> 0:18:34.720
<v Speaker 2>that is that because you already started talking to somebody

0:18:34.720 --> 0:18:36.960
<v Speaker 2>else a little bit earlier and you're invested in them.

0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:40.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. So personally, I do always try and be really

0:18:40.400 --> 0:18:42.000
<v Speaker 1>open and honest with people because I know what it

0:18:42.040 --> 0:18:43.920
<v Speaker 1>feels like to be on the receiving end. And I

0:18:44.000 --> 0:18:47.560
<v Speaker 1>always encourage people not to ghost because that's just shit behavior.

0:18:48.160 --> 0:18:50.560
<v Speaker 1>For the times that I have probably done it, I

0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:53.240
<v Speaker 1>think what happens is I would match a lot of people,

0:18:53.280 --> 0:18:55.840
<v Speaker 1>like you just say yes to whoever you start matching.

0:18:56.240 --> 0:18:58.520
<v Speaker 1>Then you start to talk to some people. I personally

0:18:58.560 --> 0:18:59.920
<v Speaker 1>like to talk to one or two people at a time.

0:19:00.000 --> 0:19:03.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't like fifteen conversations at once because I physically

0:19:03.000 --> 0:19:04.840
<v Speaker 1>don't have the time for it. So what I used

0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:06.040
<v Speaker 1>to do is I used to start to talk to

0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:08.239
<v Speaker 1>someone and get a little bit invested in that and

0:19:08.400 --> 0:19:10.960
<v Speaker 1>feel something, and I was vibing with them, bantering with them,

0:19:11.240 --> 0:19:14.240
<v Speaker 1>and I would just without really meaning to forget about

0:19:14.240 --> 0:19:17.280
<v Speaker 1>the others because I didn't have enough brain space for them.

0:19:17.440 --> 0:19:19.439
<v Speaker 1>It was as simple as that. It wasn't rude, it

0:19:19.480 --> 0:19:22.480
<v Speaker 1>wasn't for me. I wasn't matching for an ego boost

0:19:22.520 --> 0:19:24.760
<v Speaker 1>one percent. Definitely not that. It's just I couldn't be

0:19:24.800 --> 0:19:26.240
<v Speaker 1>bothered and I didn't have the time.

0:19:26.320 --> 0:19:30.280
<v Speaker 2>Okay, because that's a very good explanation sometimes, and I

0:19:30.320 --> 0:19:32.520
<v Speaker 2>still think some girls will do this as well many

0:19:32.600 --> 0:19:36.720
<v Speaker 2>years ago, Britt, when I was on dating apps. Sometimes

0:19:36.880 --> 0:19:39.600
<v Speaker 2>you just want a little ego pash and to know

0:19:39.640 --> 0:19:41.800
<v Speaker 2>that you still got it, and it just feels good

0:19:41.800 --> 0:19:44.800
<v Speaker 2>to get a match, and you're not really looking to

0:19:44.840 --> 0:19:47.720
<v Speaker 2>start a really serious conversation, but you just want to

0:19:47.760 --> 0:19:49.560
<v Speaker 2>know that people out there want to see you.

0:19:49.800 --> 0:19:52.320
<v Speaker 1>And that is exactly right. I think ninety five percent

0:19:52.359 --> 0:19:54.800
<v Speaker 1>of the time that men aren't responding to you on

0:19:54.840 --> 0:19:57.440
<v Speaker 1>a dating app, it's because they have matched with you

0:19:57.440 --> 0:20:00.320
<v Speaker 1>for an ego boost and they don't actually care. Again,

0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:03.560
<v Speaker 1>I hate doing this tough love thing, but you can't

0:20:03.560 --> 0:20:06.480
<v Speaker 1>take any of this personally because it's literally you don't

0:20:06.480 --> 0:20:08.399
<v Speaker 1>know each other. It's or face value. You don't know

0:20:08.440 --> 0:20:10.000
<v Speaker 1>that their friends haven't taken it.

0:20:10.119 --> 0:20:11.000
<v Speaker 2>There see it work.

0:20:11.320 --> 0:20:13.440
<v Speaker 1>But also, like I have had friends that have been

0:20:13.440 --> 0:20:16.040
<v Speaker 1>out drinking with each other, they take each other's phone. Matt,

0:20:16.080 --> 0:20:17.840
<v Speaker 1>you used to actually do that to mine. Sometimes you

0:20:18.040 --> 0:20:20.800
<v Speaker 1>just like swipe crazy and make matches for me when

0:20:20.840 --> 0:20:21.840
<v Speaker 1>I didn't even know about it.

0:20:21.960 --> 0:20:23.879
<v Speaker 2>You used to do that quite a lot. That was like, hey,

0:20:24.320 --> 0:20:25.120
<v Speaker 2>where's your phone?

0:20:25.520 --> 0:20:27.199
<v Speaker 1>I would Matt was like can I just check this

0:20:27.280 --> 0:20:29.240
<v Speaker 1>post of yours or something like that. I'd give you

0:20:29.240 --> 0:20:30.959
<v Speaker 1>my phone. I'd get it back. And I had like

0:20:31.200 --> 0:20:35.320
<v Speaker 1>fifty matches. Then I had people legend no because you

0:20:35.359 --> 0:20:38.160
<v Speaker 1>would yeah, yeah, I get what that means down. Yeah,

0:20:38.160 --> 0:20:40.000
<v Speaker 1>I had so many matches. But then there will be

0:20:40.000 --> 0:20:42.160
<v Speaker 1>messages in my DMS like he would just start messaging

0:20:42.160 --> 0:20:44.200
<v Speaker 1>people in my DMS, and I'm not kidding. He would

0:20:44.200 --> 0:20:45.840
<v Speaker 1>do this to me all the time. So you don't

0:20:45.880 --> 0:20:48.199
<v Speaker 1>know that things like that aren't happening as well. So

0:20:48.280 --> 0:20:50.240
<v Speaker 1>I think the worst thing you can do is take

0:20:50.280 --> 0:20:52.480
<v Speaker 1>this personally. If you have messaged them and they don't

0:20:52.480 --> 0:20:55.199
<v Speaker 1>message back, cop that one on the chin and move on.

0:20:55.520 --> 0:20:58.159
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, do not take this personally because it's not a

0:20:58.200 --> 0:21:00.920
<v Speaker 2>reflection of you as a person. It's just a guy

0:21:00.960 --> 0:21:02.720
<v Speaker 2>who's probably wanting a little bit of a boost. He

0:21:02.720 --> 0:21:05.679
<v Speaker 2>doesn't know you, you don't know him. So definitely don't

0:21:05.760 --> 0:21:08.320
<v Speaker 2>dwell on the matches that don't respond back to you.

0:21:08.520 --> 0:21:10.679
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and think of how many people you have matched

0:21:10.720 --> 0:21:13.760
<v Speaker 1>and not responded to as well. Works both ways. I'm

0:21:13.760 --> 0:21:16.720
<v Speaker 1>going to ask you another question. This is one that

0:21:16.760 --> 0:21:18.920
<v Speaker 1>happens all the time. This is a really common question

0:21:18.920 --> 0:21:21.399
<v Speaker 1>that we get, and I think I think it's pretty

0:21:21.680 --> 0:21:25.520
<v Speaker 1>unavoidable in really long term relationships. Me and my partner

0:21:25.520 --> 0:21:28.560
<v Speaker 1>have been together for six years. How do we bring

0:21:28.720 --> 0:21:31.760
<v Speaker 1>the spark back? Because I feel like it's really dulling.

0:21:32.080 --> 0:21:34.760
<v Speaker 1>We still really love each other, we really care about

0:21:34.760 --> 0:21:36.760
<v Speaker 1>each other. We want to stay in the relationship, but

0:21:36.840 --> 0:21:38.359
<v Speaker 1>I feel like the spark has gone.

0:21:38.880 --> 0:21:41.719
<v Speaker 2>That was definitely a question that we had the most

0:21:41.880 --> 0:21:45.480
<v Speaker 2>on Instagram. So many people in the same boat. I

0:21:45.480 --> 0:21:49.200
<v Speaker 2>think it's not an isolated case because it's so easy

0:21:49.200 --> 0:21:51.680
<v Speaker 2>in a relationship when you do get past the three

0:21:51.880 --> 0:21:55.159
<v Speaker 2>four five year mark, and especially after you have kids,

0:21:55.920 --> 0:21:58.320
<v Speaker 2>for that spark to feel like it's starting to dwindle.

0:21:58.359 --> 0:22:00.679
<v Speaker 2>And like when you start a relationship, there's passion, you

0:22:00.720 --> 0:22:04.720
<v Speaker 2>have butterflies, that spark is at its strongest. Obviously you're

0:22:04.720 --> 0:22:06.399
<v Speaker 2>going to come down from that at some point, but

0:22:06.800 --> 0:22:09.879
<v Speaker 2>I think it comes down to making an effort, you know.

0:22:10.080 --> 0:22:12.800
<v Speaker 2>I think it's so easy to fall into the routine

0:22:12.800 --> 0:22:15.840
<v Speaker 2>of being in a relationship. You get home, you have dinner,

0:22:15.880 --> 0:22:18.680
<v Speaker 2>you watch TV, you're on your phone, and all of

0:22:18.720 --> 0:22:20.879
<v Speaker 2>a sudden, it feels like you're losing that connection with

0:22:20.920 --> 0:22:21.399
<v Speaker 2>your partner.

0:22:21.760 --> 0:22:23.760
<v Speaker 1>I think, don't be too hard on yourself. If you're

0:22:23.800 --> 0:22:25.959
<v Speaker 1>in this situation and you're in a long term relationship

0:22:26.000 --> 0:22:28.119
<v Speaker 1>and you are feeling like things have changed and the

0:22:28.160 --> 0:22:32.560
<v Speaker 1>spark has gone, there is no way that after ten, twenty, thirty,

0:22:32.600 --> 0:22:35.080
<v Speaker 1>forty fifty years, your spark is going to be the same.

0:22:35.119 --> 0:22:37.919
<v Speaker 1>I think the spark will always be there, but it evolves,

0:22:38.080 --> 0:22:40.000
<v Speaker 1>like when you start dating, like you said, you get

0:22:40.000 --> 0:22:43.160
<v Speaker 1>the butterflies and you get the excitement and it's fireworks,

0:22:43.400 --> 0:22:45.280
<v Speaker 1>and then after a couple of years it's a sparkler,

0:22:45.440 --> 0:22:47.880
<v Speaker 1>like it drops down to a little spark lot. It's

0:22:47.920 --> 0:22:49.840
<v Speaker 1>still there, but it needs some work.

0:22:49.920 --> 0:22:52.399
<v Speaker 2>Well, you know, when you start a relationship and you

0:22:52.440 --> 0:22:55.159
<v Speaker 2>know you'll have sex like every other day.

0:22:55.240 --> 0:22:57.639
<v Speaker 1>Five times a day, like it's I mean, that's what

0:22:57.720 --> 0:22:58.320
<v Speaker 1>my friend's told me.

0:22:59.640 --> 0:23:02.800
<v Speaker 2>That's it's not sustainable long term. And I think it's

0:23:02.840 --> 0:23:05.240
<v Speaker 2>easy to always look back at the early stages of

0:23:05.240 --> 0:23:07.080
<v Speaker 2>a relationship and be like, gosh, I wish I was

0:23:07.080 --> 0:23:10.240
<v Speaker 2>still back there. It's so frustrating, but I think it's

0:23:10.359 --> 0:23:13.160
<v Speaker 2>so normal to have ebbs and flows in a relationship,

0:23:13.400 --> 0:23:16.560
<v Speaker 2>but I think it's really important to realize that sometimes

0:23:16.720 --> 0:23:18.639
<v Speaker 2>actions can procede feelings.

0:23:19.200 --> 0:23:19.359
<v Speaker 1>You know.

0:23:19.440 --> 0:23:21.840
<v Speaker 2>It's like when you come home from work, maybe you

0:23:21.880 --> 0:23:25.679
<v Speaker 2>don't feel like being super romantic, but you need to

0:23:26.320 --> 0:23:28.160
<v Speaker 2>take those first steps, you know. I think it's really

0:23:28.160 --> 0:23:32.120
<v Speaker 2>important to still kiss passionately. I think it's still important

0:23:32.119 --> 0:23:34.080
<v Speaker 2>to have that intimacy, not just when you go to

0:23:34.119 --> 0:23:36.000
<v Speaker 2>bed and kiss each other good night. I think during

0:23:36.040 --> 0:23:38.200
<v Speaker 2>the day, like in the morning, I think it's important

0:23:38.240 --> 0:23:40.040
<v Speaker 2>to try and build up that momentum.

0:23:40.320 --> 0:23:42.439
<v Speaker 1>You have to think the difference. When you start a relationship,

0:23:42.440 --> 0:23:46.280
<v Speaker 1>you're wanting to impress that person. You're really excited by them.

0:23:46.280 --> 0:23:48.280
<v Speaker 1>You don't know anything about them, so you're wanting to

0:23:48.359 --> 0:23:50.680
<v Speaker 1>learn about them. You're wanting them to fall in love

0:23:50.720 --> 0:23:52.560
<v Speaker 1>with you the same way that you're falling in love

0:23:52.600 --> 0:23:54.600
<v Speaker 1>with them. So you're always going to present your best self.

0:23:54.600 --> 0:23:56.800
<v Speaker 1>You're always going to put in so much effort. There's

0:23:56.840 --> 0:23:58.480
<v Speaker 1>going to be times where bere like, I'm so tired.

0:23:58.600 --> 0:24:00.879
<v Speaker 1>I know he'll love this, so I do it. After

0:24:00.960 --> 0:24:04.120
<v Speaker 1>a few years, it's purely a comfort thing. You get

0:24:04.119 --> 0:24:06.760
<v Speaker 1>into a position where you're like, I'm so comfortable with you,

0:24:06.880 --> 0:24:09.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm steel safe with you. I know I don't need

0:24:09.280 --> 0:24:11.560
<v Speaker 1>to work as hard for you anymore. But I think

0:24:11.600 --> 0:24:14.360
<v Speaker 1>that's where people go wrong. I think you should never

0:24:14.440 --> 0:24:16.399
<v Speaker 1>stop dating. And I think that this is a really

0:24:16.440 --> 0:24:18.320
<v Speaker 1>great piece of advice. It's a piece of advice that

0:24:18.359 --> 0:24:21.880
<v Speaker 1>my parents gave to us. They've been married forty five years,

0:24:21.920 --> 0:24:24.680
<v Speaker 1>really happily. They're still in love. My dad will still

0:24:24.680 --> 0:24:26.800
<v Speaker 1>write love letters for my mom on the table. They

0:24:26.800 --> 0:24:29.440
<v Speaker 1>still hold hands. That's beautiful, it is, and they make

0:24:29.480 --> 0:24:31.400
<v Speaker 1>a lot of effort. But this is the key piece

0:24:31.440 --> 0:24:33.760
<v Speaker 1>of advice here, is they make the effort. It doesn't

0:24:33.800 --> 0:24:35.440
<v Speaker 1>just happen. My dad has to go and get a

0:24:35.480 --> 0:24:37.399
<v Speaker 1>piece of paper and a pen and write it and

0:24:37.520 --> 0:24:39.280
<v Speaker 1>leave it. My mom has to go and do something

0:24:39.320 --> 0:24:41.720
<v Speaker 1>for my dad. They're actually taking their actions. And I

0:24:41.720 --> 0:24:44.240
<v Speaker 1>think that's a really good point that you just made,

0:24:44.280 --> 0:24:47.320
<v Speaker 1>where sometimes you're not going to want to feel it,

0:24:47.600 --> 0:24:49.640
<v Speaker 1>but once you take the action and start, you might

0:24:49.640 --> 0:24:51.399
<v Speaker 1>be exhausted. You're like, the last thing I want to

0:24:51.400 --> 0:24:53.560
<v Speaker 1>do is have sex, Like, don't touch me, don't come

0:24:53.600 --> 0:24:55.480
<v Speaker 1>near me, let me lay here. But when you feel

0:24:55.560 --> 0:24:58.120
<v Speaker 1>it you're like, oh, hang on, maybe I do want that.

0:24:58.440 --> 0:25:01.040
<v Speaker 2>I think it's the biggest myth that sex will always

0:25:01.080 --> 0:25:04.600
<v Speaker 2>be spontaneous in a long term relationship. I think it's

0:25:04.600 --> 0:25:07.680
<v Speaker 2>really important as well to still have those occasions. There's

0:25:07.720 --> 0:25:11.000
<v Speaker 2>little dates where you have a rush of dopamine, you know.

0:25:11.160 --> 0:25:14.399
<v Speaker 2>I think doing new experiences, things that you both really enjoy,

0:25:14.480 --> 0:25:17.040
<v Speaker 2>things that will create memories, even as simple as Laura

0:25:17.040 --> 0:25:19.359
<v Speaker 2>and I went to dinner the other night and it

0:25:19.520 --> 0:25:21.399
<v Speaker 2>was I think like the first time we had a

0:25:21.440 --> 0:25:24.959
<v Speaker 2>dinner in months without Maley, we had a babysitter and

0:25:25.000 --> 0:25:28.080
<v Speaker 2>getting dressed up and having a really beautiful night like that,

0:25:28.480 --> 0:25:30.760
<v Speaker 2>all of a sudden, you know, you reconnect, and it's

0:25:30.800 --> 0:25:33.959
<v Speaker 2>so important to do that frequently throughout the relationship.

0:25:34.040 --> 0:25:36.080
<v Speaker 1>I think to answer your question, like, let's come full

0:25:36.080 --> 0:25:38.120
<v Speaker 1>circle and actually answer it, I think what you need

0:25:38.160 --> 0:25:42.439
<v Speaker 1>to do is really make a committed, conscious effort to

0:25:42.560 --> 0:25:45.080
<v Speaker 1>make the change. Because it's like the Agel's saying, if

0:25:45.119 --> 0:25:46.720
<v Speaker 1>you do the same thing over and over, you're always

0:25:46.720 --> 0:25:48.919
<v Speaker 1>going to get the same result. If you don't change anything,

0:25:48.920 --> 0:25:50.879
<v Speaker 1>nothing is going to change. If you don't feel like

0:25:50.880 --> 0:25:54.439
<v Speaker 1>there's any spark or romance or love or passion or

0:25:54.440 --> 0:25:56.760
<v Speaker 1>whatever it is that you feel like you're lacking. If

0:25:56.800 --> 0:25:59.040
<v Speaker 1>you don't do anything to change that, it's not just

0:25:59.119 --> 0:26:02.159
<v Speaker 1>going to miraculously come back into the relationship. So this

0:26:02.200 --> 0:26:04.240
<v Speaker 1>is where I think you need to start doing things

0:26:04.320 --> 0:26:07.840
<v Speaker 1>like taking him on a spontaneous date or buying him

0:26:07.880 --> 0:26:11.399
<v Speaker 1>something that might be something you haven't done, like something

0:26:11.440 --> 0:26:14.160
<v Speaker 1>sexy in the bedroom. Maybe bring a toy into the bedroom,

0:26:14.680 --> 0:26:17.600
<v Speaker 1>have really great date nights, maybe buy some new lingerie.

0:26:17.640 --> 0:26:20.200
<v Speaker 1>And this isn't one sided. He needs to do this too,

0:26:20.240 --> 0:26:22.240
<v Speaker 1>So you probably do need to have a conversation, but

0:26:22.320 --> 0:26:25.399
<v Speaker 1>you definitely need to introduce these things into your life

0:26:25.400 --> 0:26:28.520
<v Speaker 1>because not only is it going to create new passionate moments,

0:26:28.520 --> 0:26:30.600
<v Speaker 1>it's going to create new memories that are then going

0:26:30.680 --> 0:26:33.240
<v Speaker 1>to give you new things to talk about and move forward.

0:26:33.280 --> 0:26:35.440
<v Speaker 1>So it's going to bring so many new aspects into

0:26:35.480 --> 0:26:36.240
<v Speaker 1>your relationship.

0:26:36.320 --> 0:26:39.800
<v Speaker 2>I think it's so easy to fall into that sexual routine,

0:26:39.920 --> 0:26:42.080
<v Speaker 2>so having a bit of mystery in a relationship is

0:26:42.160 --> 0:26:44.040
<v Speaker 2>really important to keeping things interesting.

0:26:44.240 --> 0:26:46.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so there it is for this one. Guys, just

0:26:46.359 --> 0:26:48.760
<v Speaker 1>know it is easy to get complacent and comfortable, and

0:26:48.960 --> 0:26:50.760
<v Speaker 1>I mean quite frankly, it's easy to get lazy in

0:26:50.760 --> 0:26:54.120
<v Speaker 1>a relationship and drop your expectations. Pick up your game, girl,

0:26:54.160 --> 0:26:54.800
<v Speaker 1>pick up your game.

0:26:54.880 --> 0:26:56.879
<v Speaker 2>All right, this has been a really long episode. But

0:26:56.960 --> 0:26:59.560
<v Speaker 2>I do have a very quick question. Can I rett

0:26:59.600 --> 0:27:00.479
<v Speaker 2>your mind if I asked this?

0:27:00.800 --> 0:27:01.400
<v Speaker 1>Is it personal?

0:27:01.920 --> 0:27:04.760
<v Speaker 2>It's not. But I was surprised by this one and

0:27:04.800 --> 0:27:07.199
<v Speaker 2>I'd love to get your thoughts on it. This one reads,

0:27:07.400 --> 0:27:12.000
<v Speaker 2>why does some males just pound you during sex? Does

0:27:12.000 --> 0:27:15.040
<v Speaker 2>that actually feel good for you? Guys? I'm thinking, surely

0:27:15.119 --> 0:27:17.200
<v Speaker 2>this just must must be like a one off, right,

0:27:17.440 --> 0:27:17.840
<v Speaker 2>Like this.

0:27:18.480 --> 0:27:22.240
<v Speaker 1>Is so common, Matt, This is like every woman. Yes,

0:27:22.320 --> 0:27:24.920
<v Speaker 1>there are so many men out there that just think

0:27:25.040 --> 0:27:29.480
<v Speaker 1>going straight to poundtown, no detours, no stopping at any servos,

0:27:29.520 --> 0:27:31.800
<v Speaker 1>no stopping for lunch. They just go straight to poundtown.

0:27:31.960 --> 0:27:32.960
<v Speaker 1>They think that that's normal.

0:27:33.119 --> 0:27:35.480
<v Speaker 2>Zero to one hundred, zero to one.

0:27:35.440 --> 0:27:37.840
<v Speaker 1>Hundred, real quick, This is really common. Every one of

0:27:37.840 --> 0:27:40.480
<v Speaker 1>my friends has had this happen. I have had this happen.

0:27:40.560 --> 0:27:43.640
<v Speaker 1>This is one percent not a one off experience. But

0:27:43.800 --> 0:27:46.359
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I want to ask you this question. Do

0:27:46.400 --> 0:27:48.760
<v Speaker 1>you actually think that feels good? When you?

0:27:48.880 --> 0:27:54.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I know, I know it feels good. I mean

0:27:54.320 --> 0:27:57.280
<v Speaker 2>obviously knowing that the person you're having sex with is

0:27:57.280 --> 0:27:59.960
<v Speaker 2>not enjoying. It makes it less enjoyable.

0:28:00.200 --> 0:28:02.919
<v Speaker 1>But but this is my question, do you, as a

0:28:03.000 --> 0:28:06.600
<v Speaker 1>male species, do you know that when you are going

0:28:06.680 --> 0:28:09.440
<v Speaker 1>straight to poundtown that it doesn't feel good for the woman?

0:28:09.600 --> 0:28:11.359
<v Speaker 1>So does that mean you're doing it purely from a

0:28:11.400 --> 0:28:14.800
<v Speaker 1>selfish point of view or are you mistaken that you

0:28:14.920 --> 0:28:18.199
<v Speaker 1>think pounding a woman is what she wants.

0:28:18.480 --> 0:28:20.920
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I really hope that there are guys out

0:28:20.960 --> 0:28:24.399
<v Speaker 2>there who were just being extremely selfish and they're not

0:28:24.480 --> 0:28:29.120
<v Speaker 2>living their life, their entire adult life, thinking that that's

0:28:29.200 --> 0:28:32.560
<v Speaker 2>what a female wants during sex. Like, I really hope

0:28:32.560 --> 0:28:35.960
<v Speaker 2>that these poor guys out there haven't had somebody previously

0:28:36.040 --> 0:28:39.560
<v Speaker 2>say hey, by the way, just slow it down a

0:28:39.600 --> 0:28:41.560
<v Speaker 2>little bit. At some point. You don't have to be

0:28:41.680 --> 0:28:43.760
<v Speaker 2>running at like one hundred miles an hour the entire

0:28:43.800 --> 0:28:45.479
<v Speaker 2>time because it really hurts.

0:28:45.600 --> 0:28:47.800
<v Speaker 1>Well, it's pretty okay, Look, it's pretty common. I think

0:28:47.800 --> 0:28:49.760
<v Speaker 1>if this is happening to you in a relationship, if

0:28:49.800 --> 0:28:51.560
<v Speaker 1>you're seeing someone and dating so much.

0:28:51.640 --> 0:28:53.160
<v Speaker 2>Going to hang on a second. Oh yeah, So when

0:28:53.200 --> 0:28:56.480
<v Speaker 2>you were being jack hammered, Yeah, did you say anything

0:28:56.520 --> 0:28:58.320
<v Speaker 2>to the guard at the time, No.

0:28:59.040 --> 0:29:01.880
<v Speaker 1>Because it wasn't like a relationship and it wasn't going

0:29:01.920 --> 0:29:04.760
<v Speaker 1>to be an ongoing thing, and that actually cemented the

0:29:04.800 --> 0:29:08.640
<v Speaker 1>fact that it was like, yeah, I have signed out

0:29:08.720 --> 0:29:09.160
<v Speaker 1>right now.

0:29:09.160 --> 0:29:11.480
<v Speaker 2>Maybe it's just maybe it's the same guy. Maybe he's

0:29:11.560 --> 0:29:14.960
<v Speaker 2>just like the serial Jackhammer just around Bondo. Yeah no,

0:29:15.000 --> 0:29:17.400
<v Speaker 2>I mean this question came from Bondai. So maybe it's

0:29:17.440 --> 0:29:19.800
<v Speaker 2>the same guy. It needs to be stopped. We need

0:29:19.800 --> 0:29:20.400
<v Speaker 2>to stop him.

0:29:20.480 --> 0:29:22.520
<v Speaker 1>Someone needs to stop me. Okay, So we're just going

0:29:22.600 --> 0:29:24.160
<v Speaker 1>to put this out to the people. If this is

0:29:24.200 --> 0:29:26.120
<v Speaker 1>you and you're seeing someone that's Jackhammer and you you

0:29:26.120 --> 0:29:28.240
<v Speaker 1>need to do everyone a favor and let the guy know.

0:29:28.400 --> 0:29:30.320
<v Speaker 2>Actually, if you are a guy right now, because there

0:29:30.320 --> 0:29:31.960
<v Speaker 2>are a lot of guys who listen to the podcast,

0:29:32.000 --> 0:29:35.000
<v Speaker 2>we know that they're they're not very active on social media.

0:29:35.160 --> 0:29:38.840
<v Speaker 2>If you were listening and you were a jackhammer, stop it. Yes,

0:29:38.920 --> 0:29:40.200
<v Speaker 2>but right now there's a.

0:29:40.160 --> 0:29:42.160
<v Speaker 1>Lower place for jack Hammers in society.

0:29:42.360 --> 0:29:45.600
<v Speaker 2>Stop getting your lessons of sex from porn hub because

0:29:46.000 --> 0:29:48.640
<v Speaker 2>it's it's it's not what the women want, guys.

0:29:48.640 --> 0:29:51.040
<v Speaker 1>And that is it for today. I hope you guys

0:29:51.040 --> 0:29:53.320
<v Speaker 1>got something out of that. Matt, it was so great

0:29:53.320 --> 0:29:55.200
<v Speaker 1>to have you on. Thank you for filling in for

0:29:55.320 --> 0:29:56.600
<v Speaker 1>your better half.

0:29:56.960 --> 0:29:59.560
<v Speaker 2>Sorry that we had to do it twice. Look, but

0:29:59.560 --> 0:30:01.760
<v Speaker 2>it's just it's just nice to spend time with each other,

0:30:01.800 --> 0:30:03.240
<v Speaker 2>do you know what I mean, Britt, I feel.

0:30:03.000 --> 0:30:04.600
<v Speaker 1>Like that's what you did. I think you did on purpose.

0:30:04.640 --> 0:30:06.360
<v Speaker 1>I actually think you unplugged the mic so that.

0:30:08.720 --> 0:30:09.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't know how it happened.

0:30:10.040 --> 0:30:12.520
<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, guys, thank you so much. Please keep

0:30:12.560 --> 0:30:14.560
<v Speaker 1>the questions coming in. If you do have more questions,

0:30:14.680 --> 0:30:18.040
<v Speaker 1>send them into the Instagram on the interweb, which is

0:30:18.080 --> 0:30:20.640
<v Speaker 1>at a Life Uncut podcast. Just make sure at the

0:30:20.640 --> 0:30:23.800
<v Speaker 1>top you put ask guncut. Also keep sending us in

0:30:23.840 --> 0:30:27.040
<v Speaker 1>your accidentally unfiltered and any other stories you think we

0:30:27.120 --> 0:30:30.600
<v Speaker 1>want to know. If you haven't joined the discussion group

0:30:30.720 --> 0:30:33.160
<v Speaker 1>on Facebook, that is where the magic happens. There are

0:30:33.200 --> 0:30:36.120
<v Speaker 1>so many great conversations happening in there. You guys are

0:30:36.160 --> 0:30:38.480
<v Speaker 1>so engaged and active with each other, and we really

0:30:38.520 --> 0:30:41.000
<v Speaker 1>really love that. So that is Life Uncut podcast as

0:30:41.040 --> 0:30:42.320
<v Speaker 1>well on Facebook.

0:30:42.480 --> 0:30:45.040
<v Speaker 2>No, I do want to say, there's nothing nicer I

0:30:45.040 --> 0:30:47.720
<v Speaker 2>think when I walk bust It in the afternoons. Almost

0:30:47.720 --> 0:30:50.200
<v Speaker 2>every walk that I've been on recently, somebody has stopped

0:30:50.200 --> 0:30:52.600
<v Speaker 2>me and said, hey, I'm listening to the podcast right

0:30:52.640 --> 0:30:55.520
<v Speaker 2>now and it is so lovely to hear that. So

0:30:56.000 --> 0:30:59.000
<v Speaker 2>if you are enjoying the podcast, let us know, Let

0:30:59.000 --> 0:30:59.320
<v Speaker 2>Matt know.

0:31:02.440 --> 0:31:05.760
<v Speaker 1>Guys telling mom to dadtot DOMTA, friends, and shared love

0:31:05.920 --> 0:31:08.000
<v Speaker 1>because we love love