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Speaker 1: Podcast Unite Our Voices, Quick heads Up.

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Speaker 2: This podcast can sometimes get a bit rough on bros

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Speaker 2: and cons. We talk about real life and we're committed

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Speaker 2: to having open conversations with no filter. Some experiences and

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Speaker 2: tastes can be challenging to digest, so if you're easily raddled,

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Speaker 2: you probably want to sit this one out, listen to

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Speaker 2: discretion is advice. Support is always available. You can contact

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Speaker 2: Lifeline on thirteen eleven fourteen or thirteen Young on one

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Speaker 2: thing nine two seven six for aboriginal or toe straight Islanders.

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Speaker 2: All right, let's get it.

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Speaker 1: It starts with time with the lads, crime evening like this,

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Speaker 1: and then for some with an addictive personality, it takes

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Speaker 1: over always live so well as a better world like

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Speaker 1: you're thinking about, less crime, less fucking domestic violence, less

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Speaker 1: violence in general, less like had mental health issues, less suicide,

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Speaker 1: less fucking everything negative.

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Speaker 2: That's a big one.

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Speaker 1: Was always the guy sitting by himself like lunch by himself,

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Speaker 1: and always felt like I didn't fit in and I

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Speaker 1: wasn't enough.

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Speaker 2: And ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of

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Speaker 2: Brows and Cards. Holy we got an exciting episode for

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Speaker 2: you guys, big one. Guys, we want to introduce to

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Speaker 2: Darcy over here. Thank you. I'd love to like hype

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Speaker 2: it up and like give an introduction like I do

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Speaker 2: with everyone else, but I want him to actually tell you, guys,

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Speaker 2: who he is, where he's from, and where he's growing up,

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Speaker 2: and what he's doing right now. TAKEO.

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Speaker 1: So my my whole thing and everything I'm getting raising

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Speaker 1: awareness out there is obviously through addiction, and I believe obviously,

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Speaker 1: so world's a better world because you know, we all

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Speaker 1: know people who are struggling in the system, outside the

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Speaker 1: system ending like that with addiction, with drugs and all

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Speaker 1: stems and starts from yeah, starts with fun, starts with

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Speaker 1: time with lads, crime eving like this, and then for

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Speaker 1: some with an addicted personality, it takes over. It's just casual,

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Speaker 1: but it's so acceptable. But I'm just trying to make

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Speaker 1: it normal that it's sober should be normal, you know.

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Speaker 1: So world is a better world, like you're thinking about,

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Speaker 1: let's crime, less fucking domestic violence, less violence in general,

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Speaker 1: less like a mental health issues, less suicide, less fucking

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Speaker 1: everything negative one. So so that's what I'm just trying

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Speaker 1: to get out there because I've been through a lot

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Speaker 1: of that stuff. And I started using a very young age.

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Speaker 1: So I started using heavy drugs like speed before ice

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Speaker 1: was around and was like speed, which was like old

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Speaker 1: school trucking speed and ship.

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Speaker 2: Is that the od?

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Speaker 1: That's why because I started Obviously I was bullied in

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Speaker 1: school when I was really young, and I had a

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Speaker 1: lot of excuse. I was a fat kid in school,

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Speaker 1: and I was always like at school, like through primary school,

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Speaker 1: I was always the guy sitting by himself, like lunch

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Speaker 1: by himself, and always felt like I didn't fit in

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Speaker 1: and I wasn't enough. And from a young age also

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Speaker 1: with authority, like in school when I didn't want to

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Speaker 1: perform in sport carnivals, they didn't want to go to

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Speaker 1: swimming cannibals, they didn't want to take my shirt off,

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Speaker 1: and even in swimming carndbinals of sport candels, I was

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Speaker 1: always last. That sounds familiar in that, but you always

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Speaker 1: made to feel like a failure. Yeah, and then obviously

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Speaker 1: you're not getting pick for things. And I didn't go

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Speaker 1: to discos or sleepovers. I was always by myself, so

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Speaker 1: I always thought something was wrong with me. And then

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Speaker 1: you know, over time, like in there just fucking hate myself,

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Speaker 1: but and feeling like I don't fit in, I'm accepted.

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Speaker 1: And then over time when I'm going into high school,

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Speaker 1: I was alone. Most people are their clicks and shit

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Speaker 1: like that. But you know, but a lot of people,

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Speaker 1: when you're not accepted for who you are, you'll change

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Speaker 1: you are. You know, you'll pick up habits, you'll you know,

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Speaker 1: you start doing things you're not meant to be doing

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Speaker 1: to fit in, to make friends. And that's where I

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Speaker 1: landed in with a group of lads that were just

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Speaker 1: going down and having to smoke down the back oval

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Speaker 1: or start to smoke the league and stone and rebelling,

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Speaker 1: and I was accepted that people in the scene, they

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Speaker 1: don't judge you in sporting communities, the football stars a

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Speaker 1: jocks and shit like that. Like I wasn't accepted by them.

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Speaker 1: I was picked on by them. I was made to

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Speaker 1: feel like a victim by them, you know. But when

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Speaker 1: I was accepted into a friendship and a group of people,

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Speaker 1: when I can have a smoke and go down the

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Speaker 1: back over and just have a laugh, like just having

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Speaker 1: yourself and I've never had that before. So I found

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Speaker 1: and I dedicated my life to being in that scene,

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Speaker 1: the smoke and wagging fighting again, Like I got expelled

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Speaker 1: from three schools that started year nine. I didn't. I

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Speaker 1: was out of school, you know. And by that time,

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Speaker 1: like I was obviously going to weekends and drink cups

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Speaker 1: on the weekends with the lads and shit. And they

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Speaker 1: had older brothers there, like the older brothers which were

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Speaker 1: my role models. Like I come from a great family.

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Speaker 1: My mom and dad were together before my mom passed.

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Speaker 1: My mom and dad don't come from broken home. My

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Speaker 1: family's together. But my family was the last thing on

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Speaker 1: my mind. I did not care about my family. I

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Speaker 1: cared about making friends, you know. I wanted to be accepted,

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Speaker 1: you know. I wanted to have friends. I wanted to

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Speaker 1: have a laugh with friends. I took my family for

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Speaker 1: granted for most of my life until I was in

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Speaker 1: jail when I realized my family were the only ones

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Speaker 1: over there for me, you know.

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Speaker 2: And it was what was the area you were growing up?

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Speaker 1: I was in Brisbane, term Side around Stafford area in Brisbane,

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Speaker 1: all side Brisy is where I grew up. And that's

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Speaker 1: where I've got up to most of my shit.

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Speaker 2: That kind of like a ghetto, kind of aerial Stafford

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Speaker 2: ways is yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but anyway, most got the ghetto with them, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. You know, but that's where I

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Speaker 1: found Like when I was hanging around these my mates

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Speaker 1: and the older brothers, was at the drink ups and

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Speaker 1: we were drinking and they would come out and they're

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Speaker 1: fucking off their head, you know. Yeah, they were my

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Speaker 1: role models. That's what I wanted to be like because

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Speaker 1: when I got in that scene as well, like I

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Speaker 1: was obviously those older boys took me under their wing,

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Speaker 1: like I was doing crime with them and going out

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Speaker 1: on the streets and I'll do anything to fit in.

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Speaker 1: Like I was always the one that didn't care, Like

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Speaker 1: I'd run the ball up like robberies, arm robberies, like

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Speaker 1: breaking and it's all this sort of ship bottle runs

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Speaker 1: like bag racks and all this sort of ship. I'll

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Speaker 1: be first in, you know, like I wouldn't care because

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Speaker 1: I wanted to make I wanted to prove myself you.

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Speaker 2: And eventually that caught up. You ended up getting getting done.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I got dar when the jail was always going

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Speaker 1: to job. My mum always said I was either going

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Speaker 1: to be better in jail, that was my future because

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Speaker 1: I Yeah, but fucking I was like, yeah, whatever, but

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Speaker 1: that's my My dream way of dying was to be

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Speaker 1: off my head. I'm like, if I am off my

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Speaker 1: head and I'm doing something mad like painting a train

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Speaker 1: or grafting or stealing something out in a fight, and

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Speaker 1: I die, at least I'm off my head. That was

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Speaker 1: my whole mentality. Didn't care about my future. You know,

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Speaker 1: you know what's you know what's weird. I literally heard

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Speaker 1: someone say something exactly. I'm not gonna name him, just

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Speaker 1: for like a good mate, lebo mate of mine. He

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Speaker 1: did like I think he was saying in a joking

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Speaker 1: manner that like, oh just I just want to have

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Speaker 1: it one more time, like and then then knock me.

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Speaker 1: But he said in a joking manner, do you think

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Speaker 1: that the way we joke about these type of things casually,

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Speaker 1: do you think that that has an effect on like

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Speaker 1: how we act. Obviously that's in the back of his mind.

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Speaker 1: He wants to send it one last time then to

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Speaker 1: be happy, like we'll go out with a bang. And

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Speaker 1: that's how I lived. My whole life was this on

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Speaker 1: the edge. I'm like, if I die this, there was

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Speaker 1: no fear, There was no when I was young, dumb,

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Speaker 1: and just because I was off my heat every day.

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Speaker 1: Like I started using speed very young, Like these older

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Speaker 1: boys started feeding me off speed when I was younger,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like twelve years old, like I started twelve.

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Speaker 1: I started using speed when I was twelve, so I

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Speaker 1: was like start a year eight. And then by then

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Speaker 1: I was off my head most weekends, like most people

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Speaker 1: be out drinking on weekends, and I'll just be looking

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Speaker 1: for a point, you know what i mean. Like i'd

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Speaker 1: get on it with the older boys, and I was

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Speaker 1: a young one and they were the old those these

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Speaker 1: got like twenties twenty late twenties, and they're all jarbas

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Speaker 1: like a crackheads, junkies. Like I'll be in the room

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Speaker 1: WHI they're strapping up, shooting up and shit, and I

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Speaker 1: just being there like this fucking off my head, like

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Speaker 1: having chats, but but I'm locked in a room they're

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Speaker 1: having chats with these older boys, having DNM. Just's likecking

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Speaker 1: a lot. I'm like so happy, bro, Like I'm accepted

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Speaker 1: off my head having chats with mates, Like I'm like

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Speaker 1: this is the best. They're or these older boys and

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Speaker 1: picking me out of all the other mates, all the

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Speaker 1: young lads. I was the one they always like said,

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Speaker 1: come on, come with us, Like I was the one

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Speaker 1: that was always.

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Speaker 2: And I loved that they took you under their wing

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Speaker 2: hair bro, you know.

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Speaker 1: And I love the going for urge of them breaking

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Speaker 1: and his painting with them like all lad shit, like

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Speaker 1: full shit. I love graffiti. I love that whole scene.

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Speaker 2: You say, what would you say was the like the

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Speaker 2: once you're taken because you're taking like different drugs. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: what would you say was the drug that took you

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Speaker 2: down the most?

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Speaker 1: Sat speed was the best, but ice, ice really fucked

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Speaker 1: fried my brain. But I've got just people go on

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Speaker 1: about and glorify cocaine. That's a fucking joke because I

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Speaker 1: was a cocaine when I was Obviously I used speed

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Speaker 1: in ice for most of my like from I was

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Speaker 1: eleven twelve, I was about eighteen. And then when I

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Speaker 1: was eighteen, a lot of shit happened. I got betrayed,

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Speaker 1: and by that I was living on the streets. I

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Speaker 1: was ran away from home. I was on the street,

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Speaker 1: I was on missing person list, my family, my photo

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Speaker 1: was up and like shopping local shopping centers. Have you

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Speaker 1: seen this kid? Like all my amazing house we're getting

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Speaker 1: raided and shit looking for me. In that like some raids,

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Speaker 1: I was in the cupboard while the cops in there,

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Speaker 1: and I was like Wigan. But it's I felt so

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Speaker 1: shit because all my mates of Crimson that all these

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Speaker 1: houses were getting raided because of me, and then my

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Speaker 1: mates like, man, you can't be here. We're about to

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Speaker 1: get raided again because you were here.

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Speaker 2: Fuck.

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Speaker 1: And then so I was always just on the run

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Speaker 1: and that. But over time, obviously graffiti scene using fucking

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Speaker 1: I was using every day, like I was just start.

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Speaker 1: I started. I left school and as I said, study

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Speaker 1: and I was spelled. And that's when I left home

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Speaker 1: and then I started this like couch surfing, lived on

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Speaker 1: streets from ages bro like lived in trap hours is

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Speaker 1: like pay people I points a gear and shit to

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Speaker 1: sleep on their couch. And but that's the how long

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Speaker 1: did that?

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Speaker 2: Like last war?

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Speaker 1: That was from like when I was around probably fourteen.

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Speaker 1: I left home until I was about eighteen, so about

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Speaker 1: three years when my parents didn't even see me. That's

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Speaker 1: a very long time.

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Speaker 2: That's a long time.

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Speaker 1: And I missed out on Christmas birthdays, I wasn't there.

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Speaker 1: But most of my Christmas I was in some trap house,

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Speaker 1: but it's off my fucking head.

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Speaker 2: Were you ever? Were you ever thinking about returning when

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Speaker 2: you're you're off your head?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, my family will just fucking leave

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Speaker 1: me alone. I'm living my life. This is what I

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Speaker 1: thought was living was you know, I didn't have value

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Speaker 1: for my family. I took them for granted, but didn't.

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to be around them on Christmas. I

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Speaker 1: wanted to be off my fucking head. I lived for

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Speaker 1: it with drugs then like this, especially well any drugs,

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Speaker 1: it never goes as shit straight away. You don't use

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Speaker 1: as second you use, everything doesn't just fall apart. It's

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Speaker 1: over time home. Yeah, I was using over time every

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Speaker 1: day and it was always fun because when you're in

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Speaker 1: that scene, it's just crime. You're doing, like fucking robberies,

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Speaker 1: breaking in, it's paying chains, stealing, it's just go go go.

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Speaker 1: There's no like it's this rush, like your go go

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Speaker 1: go all the time. And most of the time I'm

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Speaker 1: awake seven to ten days at a time, and then

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Speaker 1: I'll just like pass out on a couch after that

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Speaker 1: as I wake up and then keep going. You know,

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Speaker 1: that was my life, you know, to support myself I'll

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Speaker 1: be stealing my bag racks from my mayas David Jones,

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Speaker 1: like filling up bags like Nordica Polos, popping beakers and shit,

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Speaker 1: and then selling them. I'll go sell like fucking thirty

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Speaker 1: forty polos for like like two points a gear, which

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Speaker 1: if you know that, it's like two hundred bucks, you know.

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Speaker 1: So I'll go just sell my soul. Go stealing for

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Speaker 1: a day, Go earns, come back with all this shit sunglasses,

253
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Speaker 1: heart's going there for like a boost juice, put some

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Speaker 1: VERSACEI summies in there, and walk out ship. But I'd

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Speaker 1: look at my ship that I used to do. I'm like,

256
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Speaker 1: I would never do that ever again. What the fuck

257
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Speaker 1: is I thinking about? When you don't care and you

258
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Speaker 1: don't have any fear, you know, most of the bag racks,

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Speaker 1: I would walk out the beepers and I'll just fucking run,

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Speaker 1: you know. And I was run the bushland and run

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Speaker 1: through whatever and just get away and just go straight

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Speaker 1: to my dealer's house, give them this bag of clothes

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Speaker 1: and on, you know. But yeah, it was over time,

264
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Speaker 1: and I got to years of using ship like that,

265
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Speaker 1: started seeing a bird that fella ship, and then that

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Speaker 1: chick that was seeing she started seeing a few of

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Speaker 1: my brothers. You know that your brothers weren't on it

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Speaker 1: or not my brother, but like my blood brother, like

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, the people that I've stole,

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Speaker 1: four people that I fought for. I was, so I'm

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Speaker 1: still to this day the most loyal human okay, Like

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Speaker 1: I was always first in for a fight or always

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Speaker 1: if someone spoke badly about her mate, and I was

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Speaker 1: able to chin Like it's just like that was loyalty

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Speaker 1: to me for like ill defend you, I'll like step

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Speaker 1: up for you. And that's what we did, you know,

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Speaker 1: Like that's what we were a brother, okay, Like same

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Speaker 1: thing with you do anything for you you'd be on

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Speaker 1: the front line with your buzzes what you do, you know.

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Speaker 1: And then when that sort of happened, I spoiled and

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Speaker 1: I was very drunk. And then also see my family

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Speaker 1: for years. And then when I was about eighteen, I

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Speaker 1: went to take myself back home to see my family

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Speaker 1: after years on the street, like living on the streets

285
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Speaker 1: and just being a fucking junkie, you know. And then

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Speaker 1: I went back to mom and dads, and I couldn't

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Speaker 1: bring myself to go in there and then I was

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Speaker 1: literally out in the front of my dads and I

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Speaker 1: was just crying. Bo So I've got been betrayed by

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Speaker 1: my mates, you know, I can't see I'm like just

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Speaker 1: a shamed The barriss.

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Speaker 2: Was just out of like I didn't want to go

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Speaker 2: in and yeah.

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Speaker 1: But all that, as you said when I said like

295
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Speaker 1: drugs don't fuck you laugh up straight away, all that

296
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,120
Speaker 1: pass is built up, and I'm like, what am I

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Speaker 1: doing with my life? You know what I mean? I'm

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Speaker 1: sitting there And then I couldn't go home, so I

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Speaker 1: took myself over the road to this school that we

300
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Speaker 1: used to drink at when I was real young. We

301
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Speaker 1: used to go up on the rooms and drinking that.

302
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Speaker 1: And then I went up there and then I tried

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Speaker 1: taking my life when I was eighteen. So I jumped

304
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Speaker 1: off the roof when I was eighteen, three stories up

305
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,760
Speaker 1: and broke my foot. That's it. But I was just

306
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,480
Speaker 1: up there and I just think, you know, what's the

307
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Speaker 1: point of me being? Everyone's better off without me? You know,

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Speaker 1: I've been stabbed in the back by people I gave

309
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Speaker 1: my life to know. My family was shamed and embarrassing.

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Speaker 1: I haven't seen them for years and I gained a

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Speaker 1: lot of weight again. I was fucking I was burri,

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Speaker 1: I was big. I was fat again. So I felt

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Speaker 1: like I was fat. I fucking hated myself again. And

314
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Speaker 1: all the pac come back and I said, there's nope,

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Speaker 1: I'm better off not here. Everyone's better off without me.

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Speaker 1: That's what people think, you know. That's what people think

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Speaker 1: when you probably all know someone's taker on their life,

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Speaker 1: and that's the thought that go through your head is

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Speaker 1: people are better off without me, you know, and no

320
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,760
Speaker 1: one's better off. The destruction after suicide is just unbelievable.

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Speaker 1: Some people are battling demons that we got no idea about.

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Speaker 2: We actually, just the past couple of weeks, we went

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Speaker 2: to a funeral of my mate's brother. Remember yeah, he

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Speaker 2: he died by ode. They said he was a suicide and.

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Speaker 1: Yeah he was so yeah yeah, like your mate said,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go out of the bank.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah. And it's weird because like he seemed that

328
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Speaker 2: someone so happy. Yeah, someone's so like, you know, open

329
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Speaker 2: and like you wouldn't think that this this guy's going

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Speaker 2: to give it, give in, you know.

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Speaker 1: But that's what most people like. I was the happiest

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Speaker 1: in the room like I was always the life of

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00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,680
Speaker 1: the party, big smile, my face. But these are people

334
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,360
Speaker 1: that are putting a mask on, bro, yeah front and

335
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:08,880
Speaker 1: act like they're okay because they want to be like

336
00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:12,319
Speaker 1: they want everyone people's person. I want to be vulnerable.

337
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,160
Speaker 1: They don't want to talk about this ship, you know,

338
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,040
Speaker 1: and they're battling things when everyone else is gone. They're

339
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,440
Speaker 1: crying in the corner, not laughing, not smiling, you know.

340
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:22,280
Speaker 1: And that's why. Yeah, but they're the ones that that's

341
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,280
Speaker 1: the happiest persono mine times and the life of the party,

342
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:28,360
Speaker 1: the person's that's what I was in once I started. Obviously,

343
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Speaker 1: after I tried to taking my life, I got sober

344
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,920
Speaker 1: for like a couple of months after that. Obviously, took

345
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,480
Speaker 1: myself home, told my family everything that I've been doing

346
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,040
Speaker 1: and ship, and the only time my family seen was

347
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Speaker 1: Mummy used to pick me up from the watchhouse.

348
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Speaker 2: Bro.

349
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,400
Speaker 1: Then as soon as I got picked up from the watchouse,

350
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:43,800
Speaker 1: just as a lad, you get slap on the wrist,

351
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:47,400
Speaker 1: sat later like you know what I mean you and

352
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:48,720
Speaker 1: then you should pick me up and then I'll just

353
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,880
Speaker 1: run away from home again. That's the only time I.

354
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Speaker 2: Can imagine how hard. It must have been for Mummy.

355
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Speaker 1: And I put her through and Dad, I'll put her

356
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:58,520
Speaker 1: through so much, ship, And it's just that it eats

357
00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,800
Speaker 1: me up and put her through so much because after

358
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Speaker 1: obviously she got dinosed with eternal cancer. So Mom passed

359
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:10,440
Speaker 1: about a year ago from terminal cancer. But it's it's

360
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:12,200
Speaker 1: it's ship. But it's like I got to make her

361
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Speaker 1: proud though, you know.

362
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Speaker 2: That's the main thing. Brother. I was just about to say,

363
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,680
Speaker 2: you've been on this journey for a while, bro.

364
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,280
Speaker 1: So she's seen me. Like she was the only one

365
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,760
Speaker 1: that come to visit me in jail. You know, she

366
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,600
Speaker 1: was the only one that fucking stood by me come

367
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:24,880
Speaker 1: visit me. When I got out of jail, I went

368
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,400
Speaker 1: to rehab. I had one good mate, Mari, my best mate. Bro.

369
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,400
Speaker 1: He came up to jail and visited me there no

370
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,320
Speaker 1: one else Did you know I was up there? I

371
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:33,440
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, sweet, no one even knows gone, bro,

372
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:34,320
Speaker 1: you know what I mean?

373
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Speaker 2: Man?

374
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:35,960
Speaker 1: And then that.

375
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,480
Speaker 2: Sucks, bro, Like, do you have a lot of people?

376
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,520
Speaker 2: I know that feeling. You hang around a lot of

377
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:43,120
Speaker 2: people and you die for some of these people all

378
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,520
Speaker 2: day and then what were you go in? Not even

379
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:49,440
Speaker 2: a letter, nothing insane, like, oh where you've been.

380
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:51,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh god, fucking jail for a You can't

381
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:51,840
Speaker 1: you know what I mean.

382
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:55,160
Speaker 2: It's all lies in the street A like, I feel

383
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,600
Speaker 2: like people don't see that part.

384
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, pe street people get caught up. People just get

385
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,600
Speaker 1: caught up and someone goes else like they just get

386
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,080
Speaker 1: caught up in the day and you get it because

387
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,000
Speaker 1: everyone's caught up in the scene doing their own ship

388
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:08,440
Speaker 1: that it makes sense. But I'll go visit aphone.

389
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,880
Speaker 2: I remember lad when I got it, and I asked

390
00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:16,200
Speaker 2: the boys because they everyone was messaging me on the

391
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:17,880
Speaker 2: day I got out. You know that hype when you

392
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:21,480
Speaker 2: get out. Everyone's like, oh yeah, James. Yeah, anyways I was.

393
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,680
Speaker 2: I said to the boys, will we use you know

394
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,880
Speaker 2: what they said to me. They're like, oh, look at

395
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,040
Speaker 2: your Facebook uploaded the status free the brother.

396
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,160
Speaker 1: You made a hashtag.

397
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:34,800
Speaker 2: Remember those days on Facebook when you like all these

398
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:37,760
Speaker 2: status is free the fella for this going for that guy? Yeah,

399
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:42,600
Speaker 2: oh my god, any of that. Just before we get deeper,

400
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,200
Speaker 2: let's try these oxy shed Bro. We got carried out

401
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:50,200
Speaker 2: because this bro, this guy started with the bang. I

402
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:54,240
Speaker 2: told you, bro, before we go ahead, We're gonna try

403
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,440
Speaker 2: some oxy Shed. Thank you, Ronnie. He gave us some

404
00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:00,000
Speaker 2: new flavors. What did you get from us, Ronnie?

405
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:03,920
Speaker 3: You look some pinky strawberry something.

406
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,159
Speaker 2: Did you give me pink on purpose?

407
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:09,520
Speaker 3: Or I know you like that color pink? Bro, I've

408
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:13,680
Speaker 3: got peach. I don't think i've tasted this one.

409
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:17,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, cheers, cheers. I think you were telling us before, Darcy,

410
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:18,040
Speaker 2: you were.

411
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,760
Speaker 1: I don't have caffeine later day. It's like PDSD with drugs,

412
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,760
Speaker 1: Like if I don't have a good night's sleep after

413
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,760
Speaker 1: being an addict for like years, but I finally get

414
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:28,320
Speaker 1: a good night sleep, or it's like PDSD. Yeah, I

415
00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:30,920
Speaker 1: feel like off, Bro, So I don't have caffeine. Good

416
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:32,840
Speaker 1: on you with the oxy Shed looks mad, man.

417
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:33,720
Speaker 2: I don't even feel like.

418
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:38,359
Speaker 1: Affect my sleep, but I feel scattered about it.

419
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:46,280
Speaker 3: You're gonna that's mad. That's nice tactic. That's very sweet.

420
00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:49,040
Speaker 3: Completely the other ones I was drinking, don't judge me.

421
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:54,399
Speaker 1: Before I try, and they're mad. I've had they're actually shed.

422
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:58,120
Speaker 2: Shout out to oxy Shed. I just tried Paradise. They're

423
00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,920
Speaker 2: always mint with the flavors, Bro, they don't make it

424
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:00,800
Speaker 2: into flavors.

425
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:02,600
Speaker 1: I'll try the Passion for Passion for his Gangster.

426
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's the best one. I reckon maybe

427
00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:05,800
Speaker 2: that's the best one.

428
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,359
Speaker 3: How many flavors have they come out with? Like how

429
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:10,400
Speaker 3: much flavors do you have to make until you run

430
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:11,119
Speaker 3: out of flavors?

431
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:13,440
Speaker 2: And I thought that we'd already try them, but then

432
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:16,679
Speaker 2: our family from New Zealand started sending us photos, and

433
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:21,360
Speaker 2: then I was like, maybe we haven't reached that sponsorship.

434
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:26,880
Speaker 2: Maybe we're still on the bottom level. Yeah, shout out

435
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:31,920
Speaker 2: to Ox, he shed send us some more flavors. Anyways,

436
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,720
Speaker 2: getting let's let's just jump straight back into this.

437
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,840
Speaker 3: You know what I wanted to ask you know that

438
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,240
Speaker 3: from that point that you first jumped off the roof,

439
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,720
Speaker 3: what was going for your mind when you suddenly broke

440
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,040
Speaker 3: your leg and you were just like still breathing and

441
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,400
Speaker 3: you made it and you made it like.

442
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:47,879
Speaker 1: I broke my foot. But I was just like I

443
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,800
Speaker 1: was just sitting there, Bro. I was very drunk, so

444
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:53,880
Speaker 1: I don't rely flew, but I was just rememberless sitting

445
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,720
Speaker 1: there bro, just crying. And then I just dragged myself

446
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,880
Speaker 1: home like a little cross and just dragged myself home

447
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:02,160
Speaker 1: some more and see you jump off. That was by myself.

448
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,399
Speaker 1: Would have been in the middle of the night in school,

449
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:08,000
Speaker 1: like in the school across the road three stories up.

450
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,560
Speaker 2: You know what that's that's like because usually some people,

451
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,520
Speaker 2: some people they I think they like the idea of

452
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:18,679
Speaker 2: suiciding just for attention sake. But see how he like

453
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,120
Speaker 2: he actually was trying to out himself in the middle

454
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,280
Speaker 2: of the night. No one's watching, like I feel like

455
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 2: some people, like they were, they will see how far

456
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:30,960
Speaker 2: they can go as to jump off. Help I get

457
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,040
Speaker 2: exactly which is which is fine? You know, sometimes people

458
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,600
Speaker 2: need they need to feel loved and then they need

459
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:37,280
Speaker 2: to feel attention.

460
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:40,040
Speaker 1: But most people will just as I did. They go

461
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:41,040
Speaker 1: in a dark place.

462
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, and no one watching middle of the night, like

463
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:44,480
Speaker 2: how you doing?

464
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'm I'm blessed to be here.

465
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:53,800
Speaker 3: Ye, your legs must have been already literally just.

466
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,160
Speaker 1: Broke the outside of my foot. That's all that happened.

467
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,840
Speaker 1: And like bruising, like bruising and ship and that's it.

468
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:00,560
Speaker 3: I know.

469
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,360
Speaker 2: If that were freeze doors, I would have been finished.

470
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:07,159
Speaker 2: I would have been gone. Running is pretty familiar with

471
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,879
Speaker 2: falling off high story buildings.

472
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:12,840
Speaker 3: I think our house We're living in a two story,

473
00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:16,879
Speaker 3: two story house back then, and I just remembered, like

474
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:21,040
Speaker 3: we're playing. I don't know, like if you're young. Back then,

475
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:23,320
Speaker 3: in our childhood, it was a thing for us to

476
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:28,199
Speaker 3: just always wrestle, yeah, because of help. And I just

477
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,919
Speaker 3: remember we're all wrestling, and one of one of my feelings,

478
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,880
Speaker 3: I don't know still to this day, still to this day,

479
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 3: like someone pushed me out of the window.

480
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:36,040
Speaker 2: It wasn't me.

481
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:40,919
Speaker 3: I thought it was me, and then someone else is

482
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:42,560
Speaker 3: saying it was my sister, but there was too many

483
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,280
Speaker 3: of us in the room to figure out who it was.

484
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,520
Speaker 3: But yeah, my parents were just shattered. But like when

485
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:51,199
Speaker 3: I fell out of the window, lucky because it was

486
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,480
Speaker 3: just stones and cement everywhere, but lucky there was a

487
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 3: little stubble of bush that I landed on first before.

488
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:58,600
Speaker 1: But yeah, I was young.

489
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,200
Speaker 2: I think that's why you ar stage because I saw it.

490
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:05,280
Speaker 2: I saw like you were you're yeah, said about that, Yeah,

491
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:07,680
Speaker 2: because the way you felt was pretty it was pretty

492
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:09,160
Speaker 2: high as well. We thought you were gone.

493
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:09,560
Speaker 1: Yeah.

494
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:12,360
Speaker 2: My mom and dad were already screaming when they saw

495
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 2: the window, like the blind the fly screen was off.

496
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 2: My mom just like you know, that sheer scream of

497
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:19,240
Speaker 2: like terror.

498
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:20,960
Speaker 1: Yeah you just lost your kids.

499
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,920
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, And then we went down and old maybe

500
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,800
Speaker 2: he's just crawling out of the bush. Yeah, it wasn't

501
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:31,920
Speaker 2: even crying. You're in shock. Yeah. Yeah.

502
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:34,159
Speaker 3: So my dad always brings it up, like, you know,

503
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:37,679
Speaker 3: every time we're getting like just those talks back then

504
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:39,800
Speaker 3: you're bringing up He's like, you know, you're you're living

505
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:44,000
Speaker 3: on your second Yeah, God blessed you again.

506
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 1: You need I'll look at it as a second chance.

507
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:48,200
Speaker 1: So I hadn't many chance.

508
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 2: Do you do you do you reckon when you were

509
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:54,920
Speaker 2: inside prison? How did that shape your struggle with addictions?

510
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:56,679
Speaker 2: Did that even like amped up more.

511
00:21:56,560 --> 00:22:00,239
Speaker 1: Ma got me sober? Jersey on the forced detox that

512
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 1: I needed by jails opened my eyes because obviously after

513
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,560
Speaker 1: I tried taking my life, I got sober for a

514
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:08,960
Speaker 1: bit and then I went back and then I fell

515
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,200
Speaker 1: back in the parties. Like I went overseas with Dad

516
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 1: and worked over in christ Church, New Zealand. Oh, I

517
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 1: went down and rebuild to get me sober and go

518
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,960
Speaker 1: over there, and I start exercising over there and just

519
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,359
Speaker 1: got sober, you know, over the Dad and I was

520
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:21,919
Speaker 1: planning to go over there and get sober and it's

521
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,879
Speaker 1: changed my life. And then I went over there and

522
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 1: got sober, and then I was like, oh sweet. But

523
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 1: then I obviously got on. I was like eighteen nineteen, right,

524
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:31,280
Speaker 1: and then I seen him on the social media go

525
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:33,600
Speaker 1: on nightclub and all this sort of shit, and I

526
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 1: wanted that. I was like, oh fuck, you know all

527
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 1: these people going out. So I came back home bad.

528
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,680
Speaker 1: I did. Dad's like, don't go. I mo, fuck, you'll

529
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,359
Speaker 1: do it. I want I come home. And then I

530
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,359
Speaker 1: started going out and drinking on weekends. I fell back

531
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 1: into drinking. But drinking's okay because ice is speed with

532
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 1: my problem. You know, this is what I was saying before,

533
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:51,159
Speaker 1: like speed ruled my life and ice was fucking my

534
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,560
Speaker 1: life up. But cocaine and drinking fucked my life up

535
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:54,200
Speaker 1: just the same.

536
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:56,320
Speaker 2: So there's no there's no levels.

537
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,760
Speaker 1: They were all like, okay, you're looking at alcoholics, but

538
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,360
Speaker 1: they fucked the whole lives up coke. But I got

539
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:04,040
Speaker 1: more scattered, more fucking parently, and more anxious on cocaine

540
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:07,680
Speaker 1: than I do a meth. Really fucking they did. Cocaine

541
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,920
Speaker 1: makes me so anxious. Bro, you have a line. Anyone

542
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:11,800
Speaker 1: who slaunts, racked. They're like everyone and you have a

543
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,560
Speaker 1: line of rack and then it just sits there mute.

544
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:17,360
Speaker 1: You know that's true, Like you're thinking of all these

545
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:19,400
Speaker 1: conversations in your head, be not saying anything.

546
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:21,919
Speaker 2: And you know what's weird. For some reason, you just

547
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,200
Speaker 2: keep doing it, like you know what's going to happen,

548
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:26,640
Speaker 2: and you know you're just gonna sit there, everyone's gonna

549
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,120
Speaker 2: be on their phone in the corners of the room,

550
00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:31,159
Speaker 2: but you still do it. I don't know why. What

551
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:32,359
Speaker 2: do you think it is?

552
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 1: Is there a social thing? It's like alcohols, So normally

553
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,080
Speaker 1: get a bag of a few lines, have a chat

554
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 1: because you have a few chats, and then people just

555
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,199
Speaker 1: get over cooked, bro and then just fucking they just

556
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:40,680
Speaker 1: sitting there.

557
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,679
Speaker 2: They just sit there, marinating in the thoughts.

558
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,080
Speaker 1: But that's why I felt. And I started drinking again,

559
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,120
Speaker 1: and drinking was okay, and obviously got in the cocaine

560
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 1: scene and the nightclubs. I'd made some pingers and ship.

561
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,639
Speaker 1: Then I started like selling pills and ship like that

562
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 1: and cobs, and I was making mad money because I

563
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 1: started to meet a few people and then some pingers

564
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,159
Speaker 1: every weekend. Gave up my day job, you know what

565
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:03,639
Speaker 1: I mean, And then just started fucking selling heat a

566
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,960
Speaker 1: rack and then just didn't go out club anymore, just

567
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:07,760
Speaker 1: got paranor at home and started pushing a fair bit

568
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 1: of rack. But that's when I started using cocaine every day,

569
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,520
Speaker 1: you know. And that's what I got. Because you're asking

570
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,679
Speaker 1: an addict like it's since we've swapt one thing for

571
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 1: another for another.

572
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:17,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

573
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 1: Even people that get fully so, but they turn the

574
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:20,680
Speaker 1: food and they get fat.

575
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 2: Bro, That's true. You know, that's very true. You've got

576
00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:24,960
Speaker 2: to feel that void a.

577
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's what I did. I justified cocaine and

578
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,240
Speaker 1: drinking on weekends is okay because it's not nice of speed.

579
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 1: That's what got me to the point where I tried

580
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,480
Speaker 1: taking my life. That's what destroyed me. You know, cocaine.

581
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 1: Everyone goes out drinking. Everyone's well look at me. People

582
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 1: out in the valley or the nightclub scene, there's everyone.

583
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,400
Speaker 2: Talks about doing rack. Now, yeah, everyone talks about.

584
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 1: It, but it's so normal. And that's like, that's why

585
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:46,160
Speaker 1: I felt in that thing when I was justifying it's okay.

586
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:47,920
Speaker 1: So it's a couple of lines. Everyone does it. Then

587
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:50,439
Speaker 1: me I go all in, like on this, and then

588
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,439
Speaker 1: I was literally started snorting rack every day. And that's

589
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 1: when Marsh like, obviously I was living a mum's house boat.

590
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 1: It was like someone rack out of her house and

591
00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 1: shit like fucking so fuck was stupid. But anyway, I

592
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 1: was just started using every day at home. And then

593
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:05,919
Speaker 1: she broke the news to me, my brother and my

594
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 1: dad that she's got terminal cancer. And I was like,

595
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:10,479
Speaker 1: she had to sit us all down and tell us.

596
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 1: But then also, you know, she's I know, she wanted

597
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 1: to sort of tell me to sort of like pull

598
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 1: my head together, like you just got it. We need

599
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 1: to band together, you know. But how I always dealt

600
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 1: with everything was use more drugs escape my feelings. If

601
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 1: a negative feeling comes up in my life, I'll escape,

602
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 1: but I'll just go numb that shit. I don't want

603
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 1: to face that. I don't want to face reality, you

604
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,240
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So I started using more and

605
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,359
Speaker 1: more rack. I didn't even cry when my mom first

606
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,479
Speaker 1: told me that she had cancer. I went straight down

607
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 1: my room, had a couple ockers of rack in my room.

608
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 1: I started smarting fucking heaps of gear, you know. And

609
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,679
Speaker 1: then I just got real bad. And then I'd completely

610
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 1: as bad as the sounds. I forgot Mama made cancer. Well,

611
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,159
Speaker 1: I didn't forget, but I numbed it out, and I

612
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:46,680
Speaker 1: moved out at home because I was over there and

613
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:48,159
Speaker 1: being like, what are you doing with your life? What

614
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:49,680
Speaker 1: are you doing? What are you doing? You getting the job?

615
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,400
Speaker 1: What are you doing? I'm like, I've got heaps some money,

616
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,159
Speaker 1: giving them cash and some drugs.

617
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 2: You know.

618
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, I heeps its fucking five grand, Like fuck,

619
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 1: I'm sweet, I've got heep. Somebody, look all my money

620
00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:59,280
Speaker 1: I've got. You know, I'm justifying it, you know, because

621
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:01,720
Speaker 1: I've got money I can use. I'm fucking sweet. When

622
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:03,720
Speaker 1: I'm like, Hi, I'm not even going out at this point,

623
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,119
Speaker 1: but I'm not seeing my mates. I'm just hibernating in

624
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:09,200
Speaker 1: a room. You notice selling gear on the weekends. One

625
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 1: place I go, I was like, the poke is at

626
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 1: like fucking midnight when I'm bored, Yeah, off my head

627
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 1: by myself with poking machines is. I don't. I'm not

628
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 1: a big gambler, but I was. I was fucking off

629
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:21,360
Speaker 1: my head. I was bored. Yeah. So I started using

630
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,119
Speaker 1: every day like that, and then I got real bad

631
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 1: and then off fucking I've moved into this penhouse. Bro.

632
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 1: I was like the penhouse here, no one. It was

633
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 1: just a crack. It was like a traphouse, bro turned

634
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:34,120
Speaker 1: into the There was just people in there constantly off

635
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,639
Speaker 1: their fucking head. It was like the worst idea and

636
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,040
Speaker 1: it was just like everyone like constantly, like ten people

637
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:40,960
Speaker 1: in there at the time, all off your heads, like oh,

638
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:44,440
Speaker 1: open eyes, snorting rack, eving bro ghb just snaunting fan

639
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,879
Speaker 1: like squirts of fanna and shit. You know, like just

640
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 1: it was bad and that's what I end up getting

641
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,520
Speaker 1: back on the pipe. In there, I was obviously snaun

642
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 1: rack every day.

643
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,280
Speaker 2: And how long did that last for? When you just

644
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 2: like stop, when you're only on alkor and rack? How

645
00:26:58,560 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 2: long did you last?

646
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 1: I was on was snaunting rack for good, probably when

647
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 1: I was like probably nineteen until I was about twenty

648
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 1: won twenty two, So there was a good four years there.

649
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 2: With a four years, that's a pretty long time without

650
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:10,640
Speaker 2: touching speed and myth.

651
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 1: No, no, but yeah, because but the whole time, as

652
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,200
Speaker 1: I said, everything doesn't go to shit straight away. Yeah, yeah,

653
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 1: was over time. Like I was at the start when

654
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 1: I was snaunting racers socially, I had the boys over

655
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 1: on Friday night, I'll dump out gear. I'm like, yeah,

656
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 1: let's all have some wines, have some chats. Yeah, yeah,

657
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:25,880
Speaker 1: let's have some dnms.

658
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:26,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

659
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:28,639
Speaker 1: And I had heaps of fun. And that's where we

660
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 1: fall into it because at the start it is fun.

661
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 1: You know where our wolves drop, and we associated with fun,

662
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 1: We associated with happiness. My whole life. I never had

663
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:38,879
Speaker 1: happiness with our drugs. Yeah, you know when I was

664
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 1: a kid, I started using when I was eleven twelve.

665
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,880
Speaker 1: My mad friends with drugs had good times with drugs, crime,

666
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,440
Speaker 1: fucking all the best times of my life were with drugs.

667
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:48,560
Speaker 1: When there was no drugs involved, I didn't have happy,

668
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 1: there was no happiness. So I assume from a young

669
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:54,080
Speaker 1: age without drugs, I can't be happy. Drugs is my happiness.

670
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 1: Drugs is my life. Party and given this using les

671
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 1: for happiness. And then I fell into that again because

672
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 1: obviously when I was so when I come back, I

673
00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:03,000
Speaker 1: was bored. You know, I was bored. I wasn't doing

674
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:05,639
Speaker 1: the right things. I wasn't exercise, wasn't working myself like

675
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,680
Speaker 1: I do now. And I fell into the party scene

676
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 1: and this is fun again. I'm like, I'm back having

677
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:12,400
Speaker 1: fun again. Yeah, that's fucking happiness. And then started going

678
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 1: from Friday to Sunday like weekend venders, and then Thursday

679
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:16,359
Speaker 1: and I keep a couple.

680
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:18,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, they creeped into the weekends and.

681
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:20,399
Speaker 1: I'm just using every day again and I'm back to

682
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,479
Speaker 1: having fun. But it's I wouldn't wake up without it,

683
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:26,159
Speaker 1: like as an addict, you don't know, like it became

684
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 1: I need, not a want, you know. I needed it

685
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:32,200
Speaker 1: to wake up. I needed it to function. I needed

686
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 1: to talk to people. I needed to get through my

687
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 1: day Without drugs, I couldn't get out of it.

688
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 2: You just stay home, yeah, would.

689
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: I wouldn't do anything. So I want to have a

690
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 1: line of let's start my day. Yep. Sweet. That's when

691
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 1: it becomes That's when that's when addiction really stants. Is

692
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,680
Speaker 1: when it becomes a need, not a want. You want it,

693
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 1: but I thought, oh, yeah, that's something, I want it

694
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,240
Speaker 1: yes week. But when you need it to function, that's

695
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 1: when things start going shit. That's when you rely on

696
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,040
Speaker 1: it for happiness. And that's what it was to me

697
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 1: for so many years, for fucking ten years of my life,

698
00:28:57,640 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 1: since I was eleven twelve. So I went to Jarl

699
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 1: around twenty three, I was I was sober for a

700
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 1: three month period. In between that, every other day I

701
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:07,440
Speaker 1: was a daily user, you know, no education, no job,

702
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 1: no nothing, and so on, drugs using for ten years

703
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 1: of my life, you know, and then obviously a long

704
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,240
Speaker 1: time snaught and rack. If you know, you know, but

705
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 1: you set them I don't. I don't know set them, bro,

706
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 1: I can't know. My face is fucked from drugs, so

707
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,800
Speaker 1: bad saying if you don't know, but like you know,

708
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 1: so what is it?

709
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:27,719
Speaker 2: Is? It closed up?

710
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 1: It's deviated as full fuck, there's like nothing you can

711
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:34,560
Speaker 1: do to fix it, Like you can get no surgery

712
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 1: and shit, but this fuck that's all right. But like

713
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 1: I can breathe, I'm following. Yeah, they is causing me problems.

714
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 1: I'd have to get a nose rico. But I'm sweet.

715
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 2: But it's weird. Hell, it's weird the excuses you tell

716
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 2: yourself in the beginning. Because I remember when I was,

717
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 2: like when I was young, everyone was pushing in the area,

718
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 2: everyone was and you know what it was. Because my missus,

719
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 2: she's been with me since I was we're high school sweeter,

720
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 2: since I was a teenager, and she saw it so

721
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 2: early on. It's it's weird our girls they see things

722
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 2: that we don't. You know, we're blind, we're blind, we're bananas. Anyway,

723
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 2: she got like I made the excuse. She she didn't care, well,

724
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,720
Speaker 2: she did care that like I was dealing, but she

725
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 2: she just kind of like, whatever, I just don't do

726
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:18,479
Speaker 2: it in front of me. She knew I was doing

727
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 2: it behind closed doors. But then I started doing this

728
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,720
Speaker 2: thing where like like you said, every weekend, then I'd

729
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 2: be like, I'd get a shipment throughout the week and

730
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:27,480
Speaker 2: I'd be like, I need to try and make sure

731
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 2: that the kids. Could you make those excuses and then

732
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 2: and then yeah, yeah, you got to sample everything. That

733
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 2: sample turns to a couple. And then the next day

734
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:37,520
Speaker 2: I just started to make excuses apparently that there's new

735
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 2: gear coming every day, and my clueless she's like she's

736
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 2: believing me, the sweetheart. She she thinks I'm telling her

737
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 2: the truth. But then over the time, over time I

738
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 2: started I couldn't even go to work, like you said,

739
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 2: Like it went from oh, I'll just have one just

740
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 2: to get me started at work. So then when I

741
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 2: have nothing, I fucking start calling and like, hey, hey

742
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 2: he's got he's got something.

743
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 1: But I get ask anyone, like anyone who uses any

744
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 1: addict out there, whenever you ever had one.

745
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 2: But and you'd probably get junk, like the shittest thing,

746
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 2: even if you can't find anything. I swear there's probably

747
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 2: been time where I've just taken junk up my nose

748
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:11,160
Speaker 2: just to fucking just to feel something, just to feel

749
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 2: something going up. And I swear it was probably all jump.

750
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 2: It was probably all you know.

751
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 1: Nothing like ninety ten.

752
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:21,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's but it's crazy the way it creeps into

753
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:21,520
Speaker 2: your soul.

754
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it really gets a hold.

755
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 2: Of you by the balls.

756
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 1: But that's over time, like obviously done that time was

757
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 1: using I set them gave out. So I was like

758
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 1: using that saline solution you know where you blow it

759
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 1: up like it's just water the soul squeezing. Yea, yeah,

760
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 1: close out all the things. I was doing that to use,

761
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 1: like I'll blow it out and I have a big

762
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 1: scab rip off the back of my face from in

763
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 1: the back of my face of like this balls of

764
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:47,720
Speaker 1: blood like little fucking clump or clumps bro like solid

765
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 1: tear off the back of my face. And then my

766
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 1: logic back then is if I snort the rack when

767
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:55,680
Speaker 1: that rips, if forgets in my bloodstream quicker and I

768
00:31:55,720 --> 00:32:02,160
Speaker 1: could get high. What that overtime doing that? Obviously my

769
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 1: nose stopped working. So yeah, I just literally picked up

770
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 1: a pipe. Mate. There was always coming over with pipes,

771
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:09,480
Speaker 1: and the whole logic of me not using ice of

772
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:11,760
Speaker 1: speed because it's bad, that went out the window. And

773
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 1: I wanted to get high. Yeah, And I had my

774
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 1: first pipe after years and years not using it, and

775
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 1: I loved it and I fell back in love with it,

776
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 1: and I started getting on the pipe every day and

777
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 1: I justified you know, ice is sweet because ice is cheaper, Yeah,

778
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 1: much longer, you know, it's just stronger to a It's

779
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:29,479
Speaker 1: not affecting my nose. You know, I don't get anxiety

780
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 1: because when I was snorting rack heeps, I was eating

781
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:35,479
Speaker 1: volumes and zannies to level me out. Yeah, if I couldn't,

782
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 1: I had like literally one hundred bottles of volumes in

783
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 1: my top drawer. One hundred that's like, what's that on?

784
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 1: Ten thousand volumes in my top drawer because every time

785
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 1: I have a couple of lines of half a valuum. Yeah,

786
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 1: level me out? Oh really, as you're going yeah, while

787
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,520
Speaker 1: I was snorting racks. So I did that levels you out,

788
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:54,719
Speaker 1: Yeah it did, but it fuck you just used more

789
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 1: and more.

790
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 2: Bro.

791
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you look at it's like speedball and you're

792
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 1: playing with your heart like this. It's not It can't

793
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:04,720
Speaker 1: be good for you. People overdose like that, bro, that

794
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 1: their heart's like, what's going on? It just stops, you know.

795
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:09,520
Speaker 1: But I was. I had to have like that because

796
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 1: my anxiety was real bad. So that was another thing

797
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 1: I'll justify. When I started smoking ice again, I'm like, fuck, man,

798
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 1: I don't have to take volumes anymore, you know, I

799
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 1: don't have to. My nose is gonna be fine. It's cheaper.

800
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 1: I can afford more, you know, it's not going to

801
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:23,480
Speaker 1: blow all this money on cocaine. I can sell more cocaine,

802
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 1: make more money. So then I'm back on the fucking

803
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,000
Speaker 1: smoke and ice again, you know what I mean. Even

804
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,960
Speaker 1: shortly after that got raided, got done. I had a

805
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 1: few assaults and just got done with the raid. Someone

806
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 1: fucking dugged me anyway, But I got done with all

807
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 1: that ship and then got bail on that and then

808
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:42,280
Speaker 1: went up to Cans to catch up with one of

809
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 1: my mates up there because once I got done, like

810
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 1: and no one wanted to talk to me because I

811
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 1: was red hot. Yeah yeah, but it is. But I

812
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:54,600
Speaker 1: took it personally, the same thing when I took it

813
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:56,760
Speaker 1: personally when people betrayed me when I was younger. Yeah,

814
00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:59,400
Speaker 1: you know, I'm like these boys I'm selling gift, these comes.

815
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,120
Speaker 1: I'm making these comes so much money. Some of the

816
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:02,840
Speaker 1: drugs are in my house that I got done with

817
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:06,000
Speaker 1: weren't even them, you know. And I'm like, this isn't

818
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 1: even my ship. I took the rap few comes, you

819
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 1: know what I mean, and.

820
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 2: Now they just know way to be seen. But first

821
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 2: you were probably on the thing as well.

822
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 1: Cooked ye yeah, So I'm like, fuck, I was a

823
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:15,719
Speaker 1: messaging made. I'm like, I do something stupid. But it's like,

824
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 1: come up here, come to Cairns. We'll fucking come up here.

825
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:20,120
Speaker 1: Well then I will train you know what, We'll collect

826
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 1: a bit of money up here. Because he was doing

827
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:23,360
Speaker 1: stuff up there. I'm like, yes, sweet, And we went

828
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,919
Speaker 1: up there, drove up there, and as soon as landing

829
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:28,760
Speaker 1: into Canes boat, we just started eating zannies, smoking pipes

830
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 1: and his drinking and it's I've gotten a lot of

831
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 1: trouble up there, like I was just running through houses

832
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 1: and then fights in nightclubs and just straight back in

833
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:37,360
Speaker 1: the scene up there, and I was that was the

834
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:38,759
Speaker 1: worst I was when I was up there, I was

835
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:41,240
Speaker 1: just zero fox And this is all one My mom's

836
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 1: going through cancer, treapers and ship I haven't seen them,

837
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like I didn't forgot about

838
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:46,799
Speaker 1: my mum, bro. You know, I wasn't there for a

839
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 1: cancer treatment to support my dad and my little brother.

840
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 1: You know, I didn't think about that untill I got

841
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:54,400
Speaker 1: pinched up there for an assault. I got done in

842
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:57,799
Speaker 1: up there. I hurt someone in a nightclub and then

843
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:00,160
Speaker 1: I got obviously when the cells and they're like it's

844
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,440
Speaker 1: like you're going you're going on the bus. I'm like

845
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,520
Speaker 1: what bus? Can't get my lawyer? And I'm like, can't

846
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:08,400
Speaker 1: get no BA, just like every other time. Yeah, like

847
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,239
Speaker 1: you're not seeing a lawyer, but you're going into court.

848
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:12,360
Speaker 1: When into court, I don't even remember getting sentenced, bro,

849
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 1: just when the court and I got held on remard

850
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,800
Speaker 1: and then mister Cobday got on the bus and then

851
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 1: I'm like the funk off can't Then they put me

852
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 1: in the tackles and walking into this bus. I'm like,

853
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:24,439
Speaker 1: I'm going to fucking Jarl. I'm like, what the fuck

854
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:26,640
Speaker 1: is My whole life is slap on the wrist, bail,

855
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:29,200
Speaker 1: suspend a sentence, to spend a sentence, you know, like

856
00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:31,239
Speaker 1: you just get away for ship for so long, you know.

857
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:32,919
Speaker 1: And then I was just like, this is fucking real.

858
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:34,279
Speaker 1: And I was on the bus on the way there.

859
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 1: So I was in the watchhouse like four or five

860
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 1: days over the weekend. I was futrid, you know when

861
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:41,920
Speaker 1: you get stuck in there over weekend, you know what

862
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:43,360
Speaker 1: I mean. But anyway, but then so I was on

863
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:44,800
Speaker 1: my way to job, and then that's when sort of

864
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:46,879
Speaker 1: reality hit me, you know, because on the way Jarl.

865
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 1: Never been in the jar, but like you know, I'm like,

866
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:55,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get sucked in the ass. I'm like, yeah,

867
00:35:55,239 --> 00:36:00,120
Speaker 1: you're coming near me. I mean, I think even would

868
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 1: be safe to say this, even people that have been

869
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 1: in jail.

870
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 2: Everyone gets that butterfly feeling in the stomach, like.

871
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,879
Speaker 1: When you're walking to a unit a hundred blokes. Yeah.

872
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 1: And I was just just a white boy, fresh meat

873
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 1: cracked out off the streets. I'm like, holy fu, and

874
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 1: I got blocked up in cans. I was like a

875
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:17,920
Speaker 1: blackfellow jails, an Abijarl Aboriginal jo. So I was just

876
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:18,720
Speaker 1: all the dark fellows.

877
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:21,200
Speaker 2: But is any politics the in cans Like not.

878
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:24,680
Speaker 1: Really, It's just it's just like, don't stare at like

879
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 1: full blood aboriginals in the eyes ship like that is

880
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:30,240
Speaker 1: yeah out yeah yeah yeah. It's like I was landed

881
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 1: up and there and I was just like I was scared.

882
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 1: Whoever says they don't have those butterflies or any bit

883
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:37,280
Speaker 1: of fearing bullshit and like a criminals done, like fucking

884
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:40,960
Speaker 1: a brick and shit, yeah go home, bro, yeah yeah

885
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,880
Speaker 1: the boys. I went back to jail second time, so

886
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,799
Speaker 1: I went in, got Supreme Court bow my charges, got out,

887
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:48,360
Speaker 1: and went back to jail. And that was sort of

888
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:50,560
Speaker 1: like I'm just going back again because I landed in

889
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:52,800
Speaker 1: the same unit, same boys were in there. If you

890
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 1: boys gave me their shoes and shit, I'm like I'm

891
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 1: home again, you know what I mean? Because I just

892
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 1: started peeing. I was like when I was in there,

893
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 1: that's when I sort of reality hit me, you know,

894
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:02,920
Speaker 1: like that's when I was sitting there on myself like

895
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:04,320
Speaker 1: a cool mom and my mom. You know, when you

896
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:06,040
Speaker 1: get your first call when you go in, like, yeah,

897
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:08,319
Speaker 1: that cool and a cool mom. And my mama in jail.

898
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 1: She hasn't spoken me for years, bro, you know what

899
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 1: I mean? And she's like for the fuck and then

900
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 1: leaning there and then I just had the fear in

901
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 1: there every day that I'm going to miss my mum's funeral,

902
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:17,480
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I'm like, I'm in jail

903
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:19,719
Speaker 1: and I've look back at all the reflecting because bro,

904
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 1: when you're in jail and you sell, all you do

905
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:21,880
Speaker 1: is think.

906
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,200
Speaker 2: Fu and you would have been on a come doown

907
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:25,680
Speaker 2: as well from everything.

908
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:28,839
Speaker 1: I come down. Okay, that was like ten years. Everyone says,

909
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:30,839
Speaker 1: what was it like? But I was too busy looking

910
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:33,880
Speaker 1: over my shoulder wigging. I was wigging out. But I

911
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:36,600
Speaker 1: would just go outside on to start exercise and cutting laps,

912
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:39,719
Speaker 1: chin ups, deeps, burpies, like training. Every come in there

913
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:42,880
Speaker 1: is on. This comes fucking cool. He's like out the

914
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 1: yard training for fucking like eight hours of the day. Yeah,

915
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:47,960
Speaker 1: I'd lockdown and shit, I was out in the yard

916
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:50,560
Speaker 1: cutting laps. I'm like fuck because I'm like, is I'm

917
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:51,919
Speaker 1: going to get in a punch on? I'm like, I'm

918
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:54,279
Speaker 1: I'm like whatever it is, what it is, and I'm

919
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:55,800
Speaker 1: going to keep busy. You know, I just want to

920
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:58,680
Speaker 1: sit there because I know no one. I'm yeah. And

921
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:00,400
Speaker 1: then all the time I was training that and a

922
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:02,440
Speaker 1: few boys like are you training like a fucking weapon,

923
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 1: I'm I'm just doing head moles and I'm coming down.

924
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 1: Were sweating out these drugs, bro.

925
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:08,239
Speaker 2: Yeah.

926
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 1: I ended up making a few mates and now like

927
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:12,839
Speaker 1: you know, hitting training with them and you know, sitting

928
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 1: down and playing fucking chopping cards and ship. That's a chop, bro, chop.

929
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:20,759
Speaker 1: It's the best game in the world. No, no pick pong.

930
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,400
Speaker 1: But then I made a few mates in there. And

931
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:26,640
Speaker 1: then obviously when you're sitting reflecting your cell, you just

932
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:28,960
Speaker 1: all I thought about was my family. Bro. Every day

933
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 1: it's just like, fuck, I'm not going to be I

934
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 1: look back and I thought like, I've not made one

935
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,880
Speaker 1: proud memory with my mom, you know, not one proud

936
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:38,799
Speaker 1: member with my family. Never finished school, studies and drugs.

937
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:40,239
Speaker 1: When I was eleven, bro, you know what I mean,

938
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:43,360
Speaker 1: I never went most Christmases. I wasn't home. I was

939
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,279
Speaker 1: out on the streets using drugs. I wasn't there for

940
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 1: my birthdays. I wasn't there for any of mum's cancer treatments. Nothing,

941
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 1: you know. And then I was sitting in jarl and

942
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,359
Speaker 1: I'm like, I look back, I'm like, I couldn't think

943
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:54,240
Speaker 1: of one proud memory I have a mom. I couldn't

944
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 1: remember any I had none.

945
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:56,360
Speaker 2: That sucks.

946
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 1: And then that just ate me up. And then obviously

947
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:00,160
Speaker 1: not getting much sleep and now, but that's why I

948
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 1: started just training like a fucking like hectic so I

949
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,719
Speaker 1: could sleep at night. That was my medication, you know.

950
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:08,520
Speaker 1: If I didn't, I train masks on the ground so

951
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 1: I could sleep good at night, you know, and keep

952
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:11,320
Speaker 1: my mind busy.

953
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:14,319
Speaker 2: Is that where you started getting into fitness and jail hard?

954
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:14,640
Speaker 1: Yeah?

955
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:16,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, so before that, when you're on all those years

956
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 2: of bend and you weren't training.

957
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:19,839
Speaker 1: Now, I had a stint there when I went over

958
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,000
Speaker 1: and got sober in New Zealand, I was training there.

959
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:23,960
Speaker 1: I came back and I was training during the week

960
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:25,919
Speaker 1: until I fell in the party scene and I would

961
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 1: have been training for six seven months of training, but

962
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:31,080
Speaker 1: then that all went and shit when I started is

963
00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:32,400
Speaker 1: using every day?

964
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, they don't align drinking in that day and training

965
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 2: and STU.

966
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:36,799
Speaker 1: Aligns with that. But I can't.

967
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:41,279
Speaker 2: I don't know how like people normalize like like I

968
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:44,239
Speaker 2: don't know, training and also having cocktails at the at

969
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:45,840
Speaker 2: the bar on the weekends and stuff.

970
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:48,520
Speaker 1: But most people are fucking struggling, bro. A lot of

971
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 1: people's not me. That's why the people that ask success

972
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,720
Speaker 1: and get ahead, they're they're the one percent.

973
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 3: You know.

974
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:55,719
Speaker 1: Most people like that are struggling and never get to

975
00:39:55,719 --> 00:39:57,960
Speaker 1: get ahead because they keep putting themselves back. They're working

976
00:39:58,239 --> 00:39:59,360
Speaker 1: to go out on the weekend.

977
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:03,960
Speaker 3: It's also got something with what he was saying before.

978
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 3: It's like almost like you're trying to justify that cocktail

979
00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:09,160
Speaker 3: or that drink every week in the Yeah, and then

980
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:11,400
Speaker 3: before you know it, it's just gonna you're gonna end

981
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 3: up adding more.

982
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 1: But that cocktail is their happiness, bro. Yeah, the day

983
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:17,000
Speaker 1: to day life during the week, they're not happy. Bro.

984
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:19,359
Speaker 1: You mean the working job they don't like. They go

985
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:21,479
Speaker 1: back to probably missus and that they're arguing with because

986
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 1: they're fucking whatever if they've even got a missus, you know,

987
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:25,279
Speaker 1: and they go out and most go But the only

988
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 1: reason men go out to drink, bro, it's a chase pussy. Yeah,

989
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,319
Speaker 1: come on, you know, like that's all they do, and

990
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:31,799
Speaker 1: they go out and they seek that all the time.

991
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,000
Speaker 1: And you know, they go out constantly and they seek that,

992
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,000
Speaker 1: and then their data life during the week they're fucking

993
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 1: depressed by they're sitting there trying to chat the cheeks

994
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 1: on their social media or trying to do that, and

995
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:43,360
Speaker 1: you know they don't get anywhere. That's the whole culture.

996
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 2: But well, what would you say, as being someone such

997
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 2: a powerful advocate for so bridy, what would you say

998
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:51,440
Speaker 2: is a line where would you say there is a

999
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:54,160
Speaker 2: line at all where a guy can a trade, he

1000
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:56,440
Speaker 2: can have a couple of beers after work or maybe

1001
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 2: like with his his steak and stuff. Where would you

1002
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:00,839
Speaker 2: kind of say, like, you know what I mean?

1003
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:03,160
Speaker 1: If they ask those people, if those people that do

1004
00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 1: say it's all sweet, when's the last day they actually

1005
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:08,719
Speaker 1: woke up really happy? When if they if you wake

1006
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:11,080
Speaker 1: up truly happy every day and you're proud, you walk around,

1007
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:13,399
Speaker 1: you look amazing, you feel amazing successful, you won't feel

1008
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,720
Speaker 1: amazing if that If you feel like that and you're drinking,

1009
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:20,759
Speaker 1: put on you. But anyone that does that's true. The

1010
00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:23,160
Speaker 1: same question, when's the last day you actually woke up happy?

1011
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:24,280
Speaker 1: And be honest, with yourself.

1012
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 2: You know what, that is so true. No one has

1013
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:29,000
Speaker 2: ever explained to me like that. Yeah, I didn't even

1014
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 2: know how. I knew I felt better, but I thought

1015
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:33,880
Speaker 2: it's just because I felt healthier. Yeah, but I just

1016
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:36,879
Speaker 2: realized some days I wake up and my kids jump

1017
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,640
Speaker 2: on me and my missy, I'm having that, you know

1018
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:43,319
Speaker 2: what I mean. It's it's crazy. Whereas before it'd have

1019
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:45,799
Speaker 2: like a good night, and I'd wake up and I'd

1020
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 2: wish I didn't wake up.

1021
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:49,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't want to face the day. No, they

1022
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 1: can say it it's no harm, it's no harm. But

1023
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:54,160
Speaker 1: I guarantee you have not been happy in a long

1024
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:55,800
Speaker 1: time because it's no harm.

1025
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:56,279
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1026
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:58,759
Speaker 1: But ever since I got sober, and when I was

1027
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:01,160
Speaker 1: in jail, every day I woke up happier and happier.

1028
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:03,360
Speaker 1: In jail was the happiest I've ever been in my life.

1029
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:05,359
Speaker 1: You know, I was in there. I was clear, I

1030
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:07,640
Speaker 1: was waking up happier. I'd call my mom and actually

1031
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 1: tell her every day, like, I love your mom, and

1032
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:10,960
Speaker 1: I'm going to make you proud. Every day. I promise

1033
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 1: my mom in jail that I'll never drink again, I

1034
00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:15,120
Speaker 1: never use drugs again. I'll never fight again. I'll never

1035
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:17,160
Speaker 1: do anything that was involved in my past life forgot

1036
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:19,480
Speaker 1: me into trouble. And I've kept that promise since now.

1037
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:22,279
Speaker 1: I'm like two thousand, seven hundred and twenty four days

1038
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:24,440
Speaker 1: sober now, and that's how many days ago I was

1039
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:28,800
Speaker 1: around over seven years. Yeah, see, I kept that promise.

1040
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:30,759
Speaker 1: But every day in jail, I started to wake up clear.

1041
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:32,839
Speaker 1: I started to be happy. I look forward for my day,

1042
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 1: see my whole life. I woke up and I dreaded

1043
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:37,239
Speaker 1: my dad. I needed drugs to wake up. That was

1044
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:39,240
Speaker 1: my happiness. If I wake up I didn't have drugs,

1045
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 1: my dad would be shit.

1046
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 2: You know.

1047
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 1: In jail, I started wake up. My head was clear.

1048
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:44,719
Speaker 1: I woke up happier. I was excited for those doors.

1049
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:46,200
Speaker 1: I'm not going out and train with the boys, you know,

1050
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 1: go to Burpley. I was like fucking keen, you know,

1051
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 1: and old journaling there. I started journaling in there, writing

1052
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 1: down to myself. You know what, no matter what in here,

1053
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,000
Speaker 1: I'll always make mom proud, no matter what I said,

1054
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:56,960
Speaker 1: no matter what, even if she passes in jail, I'm

1055
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 1: still going to make you proud. My journal to my

1056
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:01,160
Speaker 1: mum in jail and that's what just got me up

1057
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 1: every day. And I was like, yep, sweet ready, and

1058
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:05,400
Speaker 1: every day it's got clear and clear, I've got fucking awake.

1059
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 1: I've had and call my mum on the phone fucking

1060
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 1: happy and she come up to visit and see me.

1061
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,439
Speaker 1: I'm like glowing and she's like, dahs, this is a

1062
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 1: best I've ever seen seen. And I'm like, I feel

1063
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 1: fucking amazing, you know. And then I got out the thing.

1064
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:18,160
Speaker 1: Most people get out of jail and they fall back

1065
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:19,880
Speaker 1: and they go out and they party, they fall back

1066
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 1: in old habits.

1067
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:20,759
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1068
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, most people in the system, they go

1069
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:24,520
Speaker 1: back in the system real quick. You know, there's a

1070
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 1: small percent that stay out. That's right, That's right, because

1071
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 1: they lose that structure routine that had in jail.

1072
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:31,719
Speaker 2: That's what I was just about to say next. In

1073
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:35,359
Speaker 2: some way way, it kind of work like that, because

1074
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:37,960
Speaker 2: they do say that jail. A lot of boys that

1075
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:40,160
Speaker 2: I know, because we've been around a lot of jail birthdays,

1076
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:42,919
Speaker 2: say it's a waste of time of like them throwing

1077
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 2: the books to them. They're just going to come out

1078
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:46,319
Speaker 2: and do more it, just do it more smarter. But

1079
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,760
Speaker 2: in a very like in a very special case like yours.

1080
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:53,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, there is a very special case. Yeah, construction routine there.

1081
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:55,239
Speaker 1: You get unlocked at the same time, buzzer goes off,

1082
00:43:55,239 --> 00:43:57,400
Speaker 1: make your bed, do all that sort of shit, lockdown,

1083
00:43:57,520 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 1: food comes at the same time. Evening. Everything is routine

1084
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:02,480
Speaker 1: things routine, bro And that's where I found my routines

1085
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:05,040
Speaker 1: where I thrive. That's why on my social media I

1086
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:06,600
Speaker 1: throw a coffee on my face every morning.

1087
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 2: We're gonna link one of them with those videos.

1088
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:13,720
Speaker 1: But the reason why I do that. Every morning in jail,

1089
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:15,319
Speaker 1: I woke up, you know how you got the like

1090
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:17,560
Speaker 1: the two minute showers where it goes cold and it

1091
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:19,799
Speaker 1: goes there's only one temp. So I would go on

1092
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 1: my old wake up. I would have my bushels coffee.

1093
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 1: You know, it was a Bushel's coffee, and I had

1094
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 1: no kettle in my in my cell, so my morning

1095
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 1: coffee would be press the button in they have a

1096
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 1: cold shower, and then when it starts to heat up,

1097
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 1: I'd put my cup under and then I would have

1098
00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:37,880
Speaker 1: my coffee in the in the shower. That's what I

1099
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:38,640
Speaker 1: did every morning.

1100
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 2: The story behind this story, that's.

1101
00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:43,640
Speaker 1: Why I'd do it. And then I would sit down

1102
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 1: after that and old journal I'd write those less messages

1103
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:48,160
Speaker 1: to my mom, remind myself, I'll stay sober, I'll make

1104
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:50,440
Speaker 1: her proud, start a journaling. I'd close my eyes and

1105
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:52,000
Speaker 1: just fucking just think of my mom. And it's like

1106
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:54,880
Speaker 1: sort of meditating. A way in myself just goes my

1107
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:56,560
Speaker 1: little Just think of my mom and I sleeping my

1108
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:58,960
Speaker 1: promise soul. I'd pray to my mom. You know, everyone's

1109
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:01,799
Speaker 1: everyone needs a high power, you know, whether it's some

1110
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:04,160
Speaker 1: people have Christ, some people have Allah, some people have

1111
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:05,920
Speaker 1: all that sort of shit. But it doesn't have to

1112
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 1: be a religion. My religion is my mom. You know,

1113
00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:10,040
Speaker 1: my God is my mom. I lived for my mom.

1114
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 1: I've changed my life my mom, my mom's footsteps. You know,

1115
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:15,520
Speaker 1: I live like my mom. She was strong through cancer.

1116
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:17,839
Speaker 1: She never showed any weakness, She never complained. She stayed

1117
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:20,240
Speaker 1: strong every day for us or cancer ate her away.

1118
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:22,600
Speaker 1: You know, so I say strong like her, I'm empathetic

1119
00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 1: like her, I'm kind like her. I live like her.

1120
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:26,440
Speaker 1: She's my God. I pray to my mom every day

1121
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 1: to this day. Her ashes on my bench at home,

1122
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:31,080
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, yeah, I've got ashes on my bench

1123
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 1: at home. And because everyone needs a higher power. But

1124
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 1: high power doesn't have to be Jesus, or doesn't have

1125
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 1: to be It can be someone you love because it's

1126
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:40,239
Speaker 1: someone you look up too genuinely, like I live for

1127
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:40,719
Speaker 1: my mom.

1128
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,440
Speaker 2: Would you say that was the turning point? Let's get

1129
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:46,880
Speaker 2: to the juice. What actually made you like because obviously

1130
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:48,000
Speaker 2: you've had a big bass.

1131
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:48,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, what was a.

1132
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,160
Speaker 2: Turning point where you where you finally said you know

1133
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:54,080
Speaker 2: what this is? It does, We're changing, we're changing everything.

1134
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 1: When I sat in charm and realized I might miss

1135
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 1: my mom's funeral, bro, Yeah, you know, I've never made

1136
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:01,560
Speaker 1: my mom powder myself in jail, and I promise her

1137
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 1: in jail that I'll never drink again, I'll never use again,

1138
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 1: I'll never do anything ever again. To promise that's today.

1139
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:09,680
Speaker 1: And as I said over seven years ago, I made

1140
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 1: that promise, and I'll be sober for the rest of

1141
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,920
Speaker 1: my life. Easier, no drumas like I've got no temptation.

1142
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:17,880
Speaker 1: You know, temptation happens when you're not focused on what

1143
00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:20,799
Speaker 1: really matters. You know what, I remind myself what really

1144
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 1: matters to me every day, a journal that everything, what

1145
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 1: really matters to me is making my mom proud. What

1146
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:26,640
Speaker 1: really matters to me is my happiness. What really matters

1147
00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:28,799
Speaker 1: to me is making my family proud. Mate. What really

1148
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 1: matters to me is being a good role model, setting

1149
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:32,680
Speaker 1: a good example, making a difference in the world. That's

1150
00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:36,120
Speaker 1: what matters my happiness. Drugs, alcohol, feeling like shit coming

1151
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 1: down does not matter to me. So I focus on

1152
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:40,960
Speaker 1: what really matters every day, and I live my life

1153
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:43,680
Speaker 1: around what matters to me. You know, people lose track

1154
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:46,239
Speaker 1: on what matters. You know, you go justify a drink

1155
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 1: or justify a couple of lines. Okay, what about wake

1156
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:51,160
Speaker 1: up and spending time with your kid in the morning, Yeah,

1157
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 1: doesn't that matter to you? What about them having a

1158
00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 1: good role model every day? Doesn't that right? Mad at you?

1159
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:58,120
Speaker 1: You know what about you wake up unhappy to press,

1160
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:00,400
Speaker 1: feeling like shit? Doesn't that matter to you?

1161
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:00,640
Speaker 2: You know?

1162
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:03,240
Speaker 1: We all justified things, and when our minds are distracted

1163
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:05,239
Speaker 1: with a busy workwead er. I'm tired, I've had a

1164
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 1: big wig l you know what, I'm angry, I'm frustrated.

1165
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:09,360
Speaker 1: That's when we make choices around emotions.

1166
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:12,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, which I feel that's why we.

1167
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:14,320
Speaker 1: Don't make choices around what really matters about being present

1168
00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:16,440
Speaker 1: with your kid or waking up happy or feeling amazing.

1169
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:18,879
Speaker 1: We make choice around emotions and that destroys us.

1170
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:22,000
Speaker 2: Yeah. I actually it's very good that you said that,

1171
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 2: because I did make a TikTok real earlier saying that.

1172
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:28,759
Speaker 2: Especially us as men, we function best not using our

1173
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 2: emotions because when we're using our emotions and we're physical beings,

1174
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:35,120
Speaker 2: like we lash out with our hands when we're emotional.

1175
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:36,680
Speaker 2: You know, we're all like girls, they will have a

1176
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:39,359
Speaker 2: cry when they're emotional. Us we'll start ripping the place

1177
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:42,600
Speaker 2: up and doing some stupid shit. So's it's so important

1178
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:44,480
Speaker 2: to be able to channel your emotions as a man,

1179
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:46,759
Speaker 2: you know. And yeah, and like to be able to

1180
00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:49,719
Speaker 2: stick in because we're all everyone, we're all going through life.

1181
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:52,320
Speaker 2: Everyone is going through stuff. And it's like, I feel like,

1182
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:54,440
Speaker 2: when you beat yourself up and you start having that

1183
00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:57,200
Speaker 2: victim mentality, then that's when it kind of creeps in.

1184
00:47:57,239 --> 00:47:59,239
Speaker 2: Are you start feeling like, you know what, maybe I

1185
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:01,759
Speaker 2: deserve a couple these I deserve a line. I've had

1186
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:05,200
Speaker 2: had a big week. When you start like rewarding yourself.

1187
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:10,720
Speaker 1: Again, yeah, rewarding yourself, Okay, but you reward yourself with Okay,

1188
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:13,160
Speaker 1: I just I deserve these couples of you deserve to

1189
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:15,799
Speaker 1: me feeling like shit all tomorrow. Okay, I deserve a

1190
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:17,759
Speaker 1: cold beers. I'll deserve one line I've had. I've been

1191
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:20,239
Speaker 1: good for ages, Okay, but your kids deserve to be

1192
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:22,400
Speaker 1: neglected a weekend and sit on the iPad because you're

1193
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:25,720
Speaker 1: coming down and feel like shit doesn't make sense.

1194
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:28,480
Speaker 2: So I always think of that back, and that's it.

1195
00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:31,200
Speaker 1: But that's what really matters to you, hector. You know,

1196
00:48:31,239 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 1: you go back to what really matters, not with flowing

1197
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:36,320
Speaker 1: emotions are mattering, bro. Hundreds. I've always because emotional choices

1198
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 1: are bad choices.

1199
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 3: Bro.

1200
00:48:37,239 --> 00:48:40,040
Speaker 1: When you're angry, you're upset, you make dumb choices.

1201
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:40,239
Speaker 2: Bro.

1202
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:43,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's powerful because it also goes back to how

1203
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:46,920
Speaker 3: how much you care about other people more than yourself.

1204
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:50,320
Speaker 3: So it just shows you know, it shows your characters.

1205
00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:52,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I guarantee you and your family, I've always

1206
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:52,960
Speaker 1: stood by you no matter what.

1207
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:55,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent. That's I was. Actually I was

1208
00:48:55,719 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 2: getting emotional when you're talking about how your mum she

1209
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:00,640
Speaker 2: never gave up when you and I'm I'm so glad

1210
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:03,239
Speaker 2: that she was able to see you better. Yeah, at

1211
00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:04,279
Speaker 2: the end of the I.

1212
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:06,240
Speaker 1: Got a message from her when I was up in cans,

1213
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:08,120
Speaker 1: like on the run and fucking getting all that trouble

1214
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:11,359
Speaker 1: up there, And that's the photo on my Instagram. Was crying, bro,

1215
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:13,279
Speaker 1: because I got a message from her. I was, I

1216
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:14,960
Speaker 1: didn't have a place to stay. I was in my car,

1217
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:17,239
Speaker 1: I had no fuel, had no money, had nothing. I

1218
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:19,799
Speaker 1: literally melted down my ice pipe that was in my car,

1219
00:49:19,920 --> 00:49:21,680
Speaker 1: like the stem of it, and smoked my last little

1220
00:49:21,719 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 1: bit of ice that I had, you know, And I was,

1221
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:25,040
Speaker 1: I was sitting there and I've got a message from

1222
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:27,680
Speaker 1: Mum saying, just no, I love you with all my

1223
00:49:27,719 --> 00:49:29,600
Speaker 1: heart and You've always got a room here for your

1224
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:32,520
Speaker 1: room still here. You know, if you ever need us,

1225
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:34,239
Speaker 1: your room still here. You've always got a spot here.

1226
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 1: I love you. And I didn't even reply to it. Bro,

1227
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:38,680
Speaker 1: I didn't even reply this broke that.

1228
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 2: Just that just crunched my heart.

1229
00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:40,479
Speaker 3: Brother.

1230
00:49:41,239 --> 00:49:43,680
Speaker 2: That's crazy. The love of a mother. Hey, you can't.

1231
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:46,439
Speaker 1: Can't shout out to the love of a mother, bro.

1232
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:48,200
Speaker 1: I got to make her proud. Bro. The best thing

1233
00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:49,960
Speaker 1: I did was get out fucking the show. I was

1234
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 1: being my best, like I supported. I went all in

1235
00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:55,479
Speaker 1: with obviously my PE team, my business having that become

1236
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:58,279
Speaker 1: very successful in that. And then I was able to

1237
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:00,480
Speaker 1: support my whole family because my dad gave up his

1238
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:03,000
Speaker 1: life to go full time care for my mom. And

1239
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:05,040
Speaker 1: my dad's like an old school Aussie bloke build are

1240
00:50:05,200 --> 00:50:07,359
Speaker 1: like he'll have a beer after work, but yeah, yeah

1241
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:10,040
Speaker 1: he's not a full bone drunk like that generation is

1242
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:14,600
Speaker 1: built different. Fucked. Yeah, those old kids could just sink

1243
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:17,239
Speaker 1: like a couple of beers and they're all sweet likes

1244
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:21,600
Speaker 1: tough as nails to their but like he gave up

1245
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:23,439
Speaker 1: his whole life to go full care of for mom.

1246
00:50:23,840 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 1: You know, he's no more work. He's full wiper on

1247
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 1: ass washing us, showering up like debility to like I

1248
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:31,719
Speaker 1: ate a cancer, ate her from the inside out. She

1249
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:33,880
Speaker 1: went to ship, you know, so she couldn't walk, she

1250
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:35,879
Speaker 1: couldn't shower. Her dad was doing all that on hand

1251
00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:39,320
Speaker 1: with her, taking all the appointments every day. Yeah, fucking

1252
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:41,440
Speaker 1: I just been. But I was able to support them.

1253
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:44,080
Speaker 1: You know, I made good money doing when I was

1254
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:47,160
Speaker 1: doing the rent. I paid for all their bills. I

1255
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:49,719
Speaker 1: paid for everything, you know what they live rent free,

1256
00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:51,959
Speaker 1: bill free everything, you know, because.

1257
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 2: Bro, I'm sure like you like obviously, and even even

1258
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 2: though your mom passed, it would have felt good in

1259
00:50:57,640 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 2: your heart that you, finally, at the end of the rainbow,

1260
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:01,560
Speaker 2: you were able to do something nice.

1261
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:03,440
Speaker 1: For that, I'm going to say goodbye. I reckon the

1262
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:06,320
Speaker 1: universe rewarded me with more time with my mum because

1263
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:08,920
Speaker 1: I changed. I believe I didn't change, I'd still be

1264
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:10,440
Speaker 1: sitting in jail, she'd be dead right now, and I

1265
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:12,200
Speaker 1: would never pay it. But because I changed. I believe

1266
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 1: when you do good, good things has happened. Bro, you

1267
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:17,120
Speaker 1: get given opportunities of good moments happened, and I was

1268
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:20,240
Speaker 1: given that time with her. And then yeah, when she passed,

1269
00:51:20,239 --> 00:51:21,719
Speaker 1: it was me, Dad and my brother around the bed

1270
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:23,440
Speaker 1: and she was there and she just got faded out

1271
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:25,800
Speaker 1: on morphine and shit, and I got to say my goodbye.

1272
00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:27,400
Speaker 1: Is like most some people don't get to say goodbye.

1273
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 1: You know, a lot of people don't get to say goodbye.

1274
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:31,879
Speaker 1: So I'm blessed with be able to say goodbye to way.

1275
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:34,400
Speaker 1: I made her proud and she knows that, like she

1276
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 1: knew that I'm not going actually knews that I'm the

1277
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:40,359
Speaker 1: son she deserves and I was the best feeling ever

1278
00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 1: to be content with saying goodbye. I had no regrets,

1279
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:46,440
Speaker 1: but I had regrets. Obviously. I caused a lot of

1280
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:49,759
Speaker 1: pain over the time. But I did everything possibly I

1281
00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:51,839
Speaker 1: could every single day since I got sober to make

1282
00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:53,879
Speaker 1: her proud. You know, she got to see me do that.

1283
00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:56,719
Speaker 1: She was alive. I bought Daddy's dream house. So I

1284
00:51:56,760 --> 00:51:59,919
Speaker 1: bought dad house right on the water down in Bribe Island.

1285
00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:03,399
Speaker 1: So he's fully retired. I retired my dad. I pay

1286
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:06,759
Speaker 1: for all these bills, I pay for his mortgage, and

1287
00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:11,400
Speaker 1: he brought by by boat like that.

1288
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:14,279
Speaker 2: I feel like that's that's like there's a lot of

1289
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 2: different definitions of success, but to me, that is a

1290
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:21,600
Speaker 2: huge part of what I call success. So retiring your parents.

1291
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:24,000
Speaker 1: So I support him, and I'll support him for the

1292
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:25,680
Speaker 1: rest of his life. He won't need money, he does,

1293
00:52:25,760 --> 00:52:28,760
Speaker 1: he's sweet. I'd pay him every week and support everything.

1294
00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:31,719
Speaker 1: This is the most rewarding thing was just being able

1295
00:52:31,719 --> 00:52:35,040
Speaker 1: to fucking support him. And we became very close after mums.

1296
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 1: If anything, Mum's bad or just brought us all together

1297
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:37,560
Speaker 1: even more.

1298
00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:39,640
Speaker 2: And you've got siblings, a little brother.

1299
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:40,280
Speaker 1: A little bay.

1300
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:44,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, was he young? When like all of that stuff.

1301
00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:46,040
Speaker 1: Was He's seen a lot of ship. Obviously. I would

1302
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:47,720
Speaker 1: come home when I was living on the streets, I'd

1303
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:49,920
Speaker 1: come home and I'd steal the xbox and go sell

1304
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:52,440
Speaker 1: it for drugs, and oh yeah it was bad. I

1305
00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:54,399
Speaker 1: was like I would go home to rob the family house.

1306
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:56,200
Speaker 1: I come home and steal money out of my mum's

1307
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:59,400
Speaker 1: while at my grandma's wallet, like for drugs, and just

1308
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:02,040
Speaker 1: like come home still the xbox that we got given

1309
00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:05,239
Speaker 1: for Christmas, I'll go sell that for drugs. And he

1310
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:07,480
Speaker 1: resented me for a lot and he was just but

1311
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:09,879
Speaker 1: if anything, what I did saved him from going down

1312
00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:10,560
Speaker 1: a dark path.

1313
00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:11,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, so there is.

1314
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:13,799
Speaker 1: Me and him are so close now, like we're like,

1315
00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:15,600
Speaker 1: yeah brothers, like you two, you know what I mean,

1316
00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:18,000
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, and saying my dad, my dad's

1317
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:18,640
Speaker 1: are my best mate.

1318
00:53:18,680 --> 00:53:18,799
Speaker 2: Bro.

1319
00:53:19,120 --> 00:53:22,040
Speaker 1: You know yeah, so good and you know we're good.

1320
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:24,280
Speaker 1: Like everything's fucking awesome.

1321
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:26,719
Speaker 2: Man, tell us tell us a little bit about the

1322
00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:29,239
Speaker 2: stuff you're doing now. You're going to schools and like

1323
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:32,080
Speaker 2: you're doing a lot of exciting stuff even for us

1324
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:34,200
Speaker 2: exciting to see because we've been invited to schools and

1325
00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:36,680
Speaker 2: stuff and we were saying before the podcast that we're

1326
00:53:36,719 --> 00:53:39,400
Speaker 2: not sure if we can handle that type of stress.

1327
00:53:39,719 --> 00:53:41,719
Speaker 2: The last person I saw talking in front of our

1328
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:46,799
Speaker 2: school got shot. I don't know if that's the next

1329
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:47,399
Speaker 2: step yet.

1330
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:51,200
Speaker 1: But if you don't do it, you regret it later. Yeah,

1331
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:53,520
Speaker 1: if you don't do it. If that's true, that's true,

1332
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:54,400
Speaker 1: do you regret it?

1333
00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:56,640
Speaker 2: Was there any challenges for you like when you were

1334
00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:58,720
Speaker 2: when you were first talking in front of your first school.

1335
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:00,840
Speaker 1: No, because when I talk, but I'll talk about my

1336
00:54:00,880 --> 00:54:02,760
Speaker 1: life like I don't lie, I don't have a script

1337
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:03,080
Speaker 1: or not.

1338
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:05,560
Speaker 2: There's nothing to be nervous about it if you're not lying.

1339
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,080
Speaker 1: And I know when kids that listening to my story,

1340
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:10,240
Speaker 1: they can relate to my story. Even being a street

1341
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:12,160
Speaker 1: kid like doing all that sort of shit, kids relate

1342
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 1: to that. And so they're like fucking they listen as

1343
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,400
Speaker 1: I said, like when we were in school. When I

1344
00:54:16,480 --> 00:54:18,600
Speaker 1: was in school, like there'll be a police officer would

1345
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:20,839
Speaker 1: come in or a football star would come in and say,

1346
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 1: don't do drugs. Kids, How can I relate to you?

1347
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:24,000
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1348
00:54:24,080 --> 00:54:25,879
Speaker 1: How can I? Even you don't even know what I'm

1349
00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 1: going through right now. You can't tell me what to

1350
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:29,600
Speaker 1: do You've got no idea what I'm going through, you

1351
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:31,000
Speaker 1: know what I mean, you have no idea what it's like.

1352
00:54:31,080 --> 00:54:32,520
Speaker 1: You know, they can't just tell me what to do,

1353
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:34,920
Speaker 1: you know. So I find when I go speaking there,

1354
00:54:34,920 --> 00:54:37,200
Speaker 1: when yous will go speaking there too, they'll be able

1355
00:54:37,239 --> 00:54:39,879
Speaker 1: to relate to you. Yeah, able to relate and I'll listen, bro.

1356
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:42,719
Speaker 2: Like that's so true. I remember when I was in

1357
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:44,879
Speaker 2: juvenile I don't know if did do people ever visit

1358
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:47,560
Speaker 2: like the jails when you were there, and like do motivation?

1359
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:49,360
Speaker 2: So I think they're only done in juvie. I was

1360
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:52,880
Speaker 2: in Cobham and sometimes they will have like some speaking

1361
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:59,439
Speaker 2: Remember Eric Banner, the Australian actor and he was in Troy. Yeah,

1362
00:54:59,480 --> 00:55:02,640
Speaker 2: so he came and visited and the bloke is he's

1363
00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:05,239
Speaker 2: doing his motivational speech. But I'm looking around at the

1364
00:55:05,239 --> 00:55:06,719
Speaker 2: boys and they were all think of what I'm thinking,

1365
00:55:06,760 --> 00:55:10,520
Speaker 2: like you the fuck is this? Who is this guy?

1366
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:12,440
Speaker 2: And like but I do remember he was such a

1367
00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:14,600
Speaker 2: nice bloke, like he looks so happy to be there

1368
00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:16,960
Speaker 2: and he's just like yeah, guys, like you know, you've

1369
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:18,759
Speaker 2: got your future ahead of your mate, like you know,

1370
00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:21,239
Speaker 2: look at you boys. And I was just sitting there

1371
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:23,239
Speaker 2: like this guy is wasting his time.

1372
00:55:23,560 --> 00:55:25,759
Speaker 1: I can't relate what's he doing. That's like when I

1373
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:28,160
Speaker 1: went into speaking schools and not like you'll know when

1374
00:55:28,239 --> 00:55:30,120
Speaker 1: you speak to kids. These kids and I went and

1375
00:55:30,160 --> 00:55:34,239
Speaker 1: I've obviously spoken schools and like like secondary schools where

1376
00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:37,120
Speaker 1: the kids like it's the second chance, like street kids

1377
00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:38,920
Speaker 1: and kids like that that didn't go good at school,

1378
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:41,080
Speaker 1: it's the second chance. And I went in and spoke

1379
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:42,840
Speaker 1: to them and usually they just running a mark, you know,

1380
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:45,479
Speaker 1: and they're like, the kids are up to no good. Yeah,

1381
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:48,320
Speaker 1: I had the whole crowd like silent, bro, because listening

1382
00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:51,360
Speaker 1: good on. That's when you know that people are connecting

1383
00:55:51,360 --> 00:55:53,560
Speaker 1: with you and they're listening. If you're speaking and people

1384
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:56,279
Speaker 1: are speaking amongst themselves and other they're not focused on

1385
00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:57,680
Speaker 1: they don't care what you have to say. But if

1386
00:55:57,680 --> 00:56:00,239
Speaker 1: they're silent, you know you can connect. And I went

1387
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:02,080
Speaker 1: and spoken schools and shit like that. Then after I

1388
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:04,040
Speaker 1: left the schools, i'd have kids message me being like,

1389
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:06,920
Speaker 1: hey man, I really really related all your stuff. Man,

1390
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:09,040
Speaker 1: since you're in here, I haven't spoked any weeds since

1391
00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:11,520
Speaker 1: you've came and spoke, you know what I'm messaging back

1392
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:13,279
Speaker 1: my fucking mad b. If you ever need anything like,

1393
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:13,920
Speaker 1: call me bro.

1394
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:16,959
Speaker 2: It's powerful. You're very influential. You just saw we were

1395
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:17,680
Speaker 2: about to not drink.

1396
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:21,760
Speaker 1: Just from what you said, I feel like caffeine.

1397
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:26,040
Speaker 2: You just you just radiate a lot of authenticity and

1398
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:28,319
Speaker 2: a lot of raw like you can just tell. I

1399
00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:30,279
Speaker 2: can tell when someone's been through a lot of shit,

1400
00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:33,920
Speaker 2: like you really don't like hold anything in. You just

1401
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:36,160
Speaker 2: whatever's on your chest. It just comes out of always

1402
00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:37,879
Speaker 2: and he flows out naturally. Yeah.

1403
00:56:37,920 --> 00:56:39,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm always look at my Instagram. But I'm real

1404
00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:43,080
Speaker 1: and I do not care what people think. I know

1405
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:44,640
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. I know what I've been through,

1406
00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:46,439
Speaker 1: I know where I've come from. I don't have anything

1407
00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:48,719
Speaker 1: approved to anyone. I know that I'm trying to make

1408
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:51,160
Speaker 1: a difference and actually help people. A lot of people

1409
00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:53,560
Speaker 1: say that, you know, but there's the few people out

1410
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:56,120
Speaker 1: that actually do. Yeah, I mean to help people, but

1411
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:58,440
Speaker 1: by my course, you know what I mean. Tell us

1412
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:00,600
Speaker 1: about your course. Plug us with your course. I think

1413
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:02,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna need. I've got a really good friend of mine.

1414
00:57:02,719 --> 00:57:04,040
Speaker 1: Shout out to Mitchell the Menace.

1415
00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:08,759
Speaker 2: Here's another fellow Sydney rapper artists and we actually speak

1416
00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:10,719
Speaker 2: a lot. Me and Mitchells. We actually aligned on a

1417
00:57:10,719 --> 00:57:12,400
Speaker 2: lot of things.

1418
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:13,120
Speaker 1: He's a good trend.

1419
00:57:13,440 --> 00:57:15,560
Speaker 2: We can talk for ages, me and Mitchell And he's

1420
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:18,760
Speaker 2: spoken very highly of you and your your training course

1421
00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:21,200
Speaker 2: and all the stuff that you do. Tell us a

1422
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:23,280
Speaker 2: little bit about that, like you, So you're training a

1423
00:57:23,280 --> 00:57:23,840
Speaker 2: lot of people.

1424
00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:25,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I'm online, So I'm more of like a

1425
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:28,080
Speaker 1: life coach, and I bring the fitness sight into It's

1426
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:30,720
Speaker 1: got loads. It's like a fitness out for workouts or

1427
00:57:30,760 --> 00:57:33,040
Speaker 1: do meal plans everyone that, which is like the transformation

1428
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:34,880
Speaker 1: side of things. But the main thing I do is

1429
00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:36,160
Speaker 1: I help people break addictions.

1430
00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:39,600
Speaker 2: I help I reckon they work lining line you.

1431
00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:41,960
Speaker 1: Need exercise a part of addictions. But there's a lot

1432
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:45,080
Speaker 1: of other things I teach, like journaling, meditations and finding

1433
00:57:45,080 --> 00:57:47,720
Speaker 1: your reason why. Like I saw people accountable every day

1434
00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:50,320
Speaker 1: like you asked Mitchells. Anyone I coach, Like I message

1435
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:52,600
Speaker 1: all my clients every day to make sure they're okay,

1436
00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:55,120
Speaker 1: all of them, like check in with them, voice notes,

1437
00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 1: like I get him with send photos of all their stuff,

1438
00:57:57,080 --> 00:57:58,880
Speaker 1: and I have a chat to him. They start and

1439
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:00,240
Speaker 1: I find out why they're doing it. A lot of

1440
00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:02,680
Speaker 1: people come to me when they've like they've lost their kids,

1441
00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:05,040
Speaker 1: their missus left them, like they're in very bad place.

1442
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:07,640
Speaker 1: And that's when people are going to reach out for changes.

1443
00:58:07,640 --> 00:58:09,800
Speaker 1: When everything goes to ship. Yeah, okay, you're in the

1444
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:11,240
Speaker 1: hype of it. When you having fun, you're not gonna

1445
00:58:11,720 --> 00:58:12,600
Speaker 1: it's fun. I need help.

1446
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:14,800
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, you know.

1447
00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:17,480
Speaker 1: It's when everything has everyone needs to hit that rock

1448
00:58:17,480 --> 00:58:19,720
Speaker 1: bottom where everyone needs to lose most things they love

1449
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:22,560
Speaker 1: before they realize. Fuck, I need to make changes and

1450
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:26,280
Speaker 1: it sucks. And that's addiction. It's always it's there's no remedy,

1451
00:58:26,320 --> 00:58:29,240
Speaker 1: there's no happy there's never a happy ending in it. Ever. Yeah,

1452
00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:31,080
Speaker 1: there's not one addict that has a happy ending.

1453
00:58:31,360 --> 00:58:34,040
Speaker 2: We need we definitely need more fellows like you because

1454
00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:36,920
Speaker 2: it's just not getting any better. The generations that are

1455
00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:40,760
Speaker 2: coming up, drugs are being more easy accessible. Yeah, and

1456
00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:44,080
Speaker 2: not only that, it's being pushed on, it's all over

1457
00:58:44,160 --> 00:58:46,680
Speaker 2: social media. I was just listening to Kylin and Jackie

1458
00:58:46,720 --> 00:58:49,000
Speaker 2: O the other morning and they're just talking about it casually,

1459
00:58:49,040 --> 00:58:52,000
Speaker 2: about having a few loans. Yeah, crazy, crazy. I know

1460
00:58:52,040 --> 00:58:54,840
Speaker 2: that they were taking the piss, but like there's.

1461
00:58:54,520 --> 00:58:56,600
Speaker 1: Like planning seeds, you're still.

1462
00:58:56,440 --> 00:58:59,240
Speaker 2: Planning seeds and young kids, that the brains are still developing.

1463
00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 2: When hear these words over and over and over again,

1464
00:59:02,320 --> 00:59:05,120
Speaker 2: it starts to get normal, And I think what dars

1465
00:59:05,240 --> 00:59:08,480
Speaker 2: is doing is amazing. Guys, we're actually coming up to

1466
00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:10,640
Speaker 2: the end of our podcast session. I really felt like

1467
00:59:10,680 --> 00:59:15,640
Speaker 2: we just started talking. There's so much we could catch

1468
00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:18,200
Speaker 2: up on. But you can find dars on where where

1469
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:18,960
Speaker 2: can everyone find you?

1470
00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:23,640
Speaker 1: Mainly Instagram, Instagram, d r C, DRC, dot fit, dot PT.

1471
00:59:23,800 --> 00:59:24,720
Speaker 1: But you'll see it DRC.

1472
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:28,680
Speaker 2: Guys, whether you're struggling with drugs, struggling with anything in life,

1473
00:59:29,440 --> 00:59:32,160
Speaker 2: by this guy's course, you've seen it here for yourself.

1474
00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:37,480
Speaker 1: This guys, courses reach out to me. Courses, reach out

1475
00:59:37,480 --> 00:59:39,560
Speaker 1: to me and ask fucking if you're struggling to have

1476
00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:40,480
Speaker 1: a chat, let's reach out.

1477
00:59:40,720 --> 00:59:43,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, guys, we've got a little bit more time. There

1478
00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:45,880
Speaker 2: was a few crucial questions me and Ronny wanted to

1479
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:50,080
Speaker 2: ask Darce. Me and Ronnie we love training. It's no secret.

1480
00:59:50,120 --> 00:59:52,480
Speaker 2: We try to put up our little little arm pumps

1481
00:59:52,480 --> 01:00:00,280
Speaker 2: on our stories. It's nothing crazy. Yeah, right now, there's

1482
01:00:00,320 --> 01:00:06,320
Speaker 2: there's a lot of access to steroids and like testosterone. Uh,

1483
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:08,840
Speaker 2: there's one of the more famous ones coming up to

1484
01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:12,400
Speaker 2: summer and of a wind stow all these type of steroids.

1485
01:00:12,640 --> 01:00:16,600
Speaker 2: Uh Me and Ronnie have actually we've talked about potentially

1486
01:00:16,640 --> 01:00:20,120
Speaker 2: looking into starting a cycle. I'm getting I'm getting to

1487
01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:21,640
Speaker 2: that kind of age where I'm like, I don't know

1488
01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:25,680
Speaker 2: if it's something that's it's definitely needed, but I love

1489
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:28,400
Speaker 2: the gym. I feel like anyone that loves the gym,

1490
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:29,640
Speaker 2: anyone that loves like.

1491
01:00:29,800 --> 01:00:33,360
Speaker 1: Well, I don't look at steroids, steroids like tran all

1492
01:00:33,360 --> 01:00:35,360
Speaker 1: that sort of ship. No go like I did that.

1493
01:00:35,440 --> 01:00:38,240
Speaker 1: I did that bodybuilding comp. I did one, not a bodybuilder.

1494
01:00:38,240 --> 01:00:40,240
Speaker 1: I went and did it just to show everyone that

1495
01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:42,560
Speaker 1: anyone could do it. I'm an ex fucking drag addict.

1496
01:00:42,560 --> 01:00:42,880
Speaker 2: I went.

1497
01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:49,520
Speaker 1: First bro for those sits and gigs. I went up

1498
01:00:49,560 --> 01:00:51,720
Speaker 1: there and I got first. I beat all these bodybuilders

1499
01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:55,480
Speaker 1: and they're like, you could go probably like the fucking

1500
01:00:55,720 --> 01:00:58,160
Speaker 1: the judges and all the people, like you can go

1501
01:00:58,200 --> 01:00:58,960
Speaker 1: far on this sport.

1502
01:00:59,200 --> 01:00:59,400
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1503
01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:03,760
Speaker 1: Fuck, this bought so unhealthy. Yeah, but with like trend

1504
01:01:03,760 --> 01:01:06,560
Speaker 1: and ship like that unhealthy as fuck. I did in

1505
01:01:06,560 --> 01:01:09,200
Speaker 1: that comp. Don't do trans okay, trans fucking ship, but

1506
01:01:09,240 --> 01:01:11,440
Speaker 1: I run TRT so I get my blood's done. I

1507
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:14,000
Speaker 1: run one mill of test a week. Best thing ever done.

1508
01:01:15,880 --> 01:01:19,760
Speaker 1: Yease clinics out there. I've got Optimal Health Clinic on

1509
01:01:19,880 --> 01:01:22,680
Speaker 1: the Gold Coast. Optimal Health Clinic. They do TRT, they

1510
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:25,640
Speaker 1: do blood tests everything, Like I think every man in

1511
01:01:25,680 --> 01:01:28,160
Speaker 1: the world should run TRT. I don't care. You're like, oh,

1512
01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:30,400
Speaker 1: you run stooges. You're still fucking drug that you can

1513
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:35,520
Speaker 1: fuck off? Yeah, I seen you say that exactly the same, Right,

1514
01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:38,640
Speaker 1: you want to test that theory, Go smoke meth and

1515
01:01:38,680 --> 01:01:41,960
Speaker 1: smart cocaine for one month and then go and ject

1516
01:01:41,960 --> 01:01:43,800
Speaker 1: the mill of fucking test stone for one month, and

1517
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:45,720
Speaker 1: let's see how your life goes to ship. Yeah, okay,

1518
01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:48,280
Speaker 1: it's not the same. Yeah yourself, But men have prescribed

1519
01:01:48,320 --> 01:01:50,720
Speaker 1: tests run all over the world. That whole thing is

1520
01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:55,560
Speaker 1: this insecure fucking losers trying to fucking keyboard worrior. I

1521
01:01:55,560 --> 01:01:57,640
Speaker 1: don't care what people think. I look amazing. I eat

1522
01:01:57,640 --> 01:01:59,280
Speaker 1: clean every I've got my meals in my bag. Brother

1523
01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:01,720
Speaker 1: got chicken rice my bag down here for fox sake.

1524
01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:03,760
Speaker 1: I eat clean aurs. But I run the middle test

1525
01:02:03,800 --> 01:02:05,560
Speaker 1: week because when I got out of jail, obviously I

1526
01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:10,680
Speaker 1: got bloods done. Because obviously HEPSI sharing needles and yeah, needles,

1527
01:02:10,720 --> 01:02:13,720
Speaker 1: but like there's people fucking popping each other's pimbles. You've

1528
01:02:13,720 --> 01:02:17,240
Speaker 1: seen in there. It's ah anyway, but there's dirty in there,

1529
01:02:17,320 --> 01:02:19,480
Speaker 1: but there's like anyway. So I got our jug got

1530
01:02:19,520 --> 01:02:21,880
Speaker 1: bloods done to make sure everyone was right. But when

1531
01:02:21,880 --> 01:02:23,800
Speaker 1: I've got my blood's done, my TESTA was come back

1532
01:02:23,840 --> 01:02:25,800
Speaker 1: like a twelve year old girl. Bro, you know, I

1533
01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:26,800
Speaker 1: had lost just.

1534
01:02:26,760 --> 01:02:29,880
Speaker 2: From all those years of righting and like open mean,

1535
01:02:30,040 --> 01:02:30,680
Speaker 2: I didn't.

1536
01:02:30,400 --> 01:02:32,919
Speaker 1: Sleep, bro, like sleep when you're growing up as killer.

1537
01:02:32,960 --> 01:02:34,640
Speaker 1: I started using when I was eleven, twelve years old,

1538
01:02:34,680 --> 01:02:36,240
Speaker 1: and you got to realize most of the time I

1539
01:02:36,360 --> 01:02:38,480
Speaker 1: was away seven to ten days at a time, and

1540
01:02:38,480 --> 01:02:40,160
Speaker 1: I shut down. I would not sleep for seven to

1541
01:02:40,160 --> 01:02:42,040
Speaker 1: ten days yea, you know, and that was most of

1542
01:02:42,080 --> 01:02:44,360
Speaker 1: my teenage years when you meant to grow as a kid,

1543
01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:46,560
Speaker 1: you know. So I would have fucked my hormones with

1544
01:02:46,640 --> 01:02:49,320
Speaker 1: drugs for years, not sleeping shell like you look at

1545
01:02:49,400 --> 01:02:53,240
Speaker 1: fucking research at Google chat GBT. Do drugs affect testolsterone levels?

1546
01:02:53,240 --> 01:02:55,560
Speaker 1: And they do? They ruin it. So I got out

1547
01:02:55,640 --> 01:02:57,560
Speaker 1: jar my test that was a low as and I

1548
01:02:57,600 --> 01:02:59,600
Speaker 1: was feel functioning, but I was always felt like I

1549
01:02:59,640 --> 01:03:01,600
Speaker 1: was running and empty. I was like fucking tied, but

1550
01:03:01,640 --> 01:03:03,720
Speaker 1: I was still pushing because I make my min'm proud.

1551
01:03:03,720 --> 01:03:05,720
Speaker 1: I was working big days and shit like that. And

1552
01:03:05,760 --> 01:03:08,800
Speaker 1: then I started TRT. It started through a doctor prescribed,

1553
01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:10,560
Speaker 1: went to an ecologist, all that sort of ship. And

1554
01:03:10,560 --> 01:03:12,960
Speaker 1: when it all done, it all properly and I started

1555
01:03:12,960 --> 01:03:15,920
Speaker 1: taking TRT and my energy was up. I felt fucking amazing.

1556
01:03:16,120 --> 01:03:17,960
Speaker 1: And I'm not running a fuckload of gear. I ran

1557
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:19,800
Speaker 1: a heat by gear when I did that bodybuilding calm,

1558
01:03:19,880 --> 01:03:20,720
Speaker 1: and that's unhealthy.

1559
01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:23,560
Speaker 2: So TRT is just one thing, that's just one tests

1560
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:26,439
Speaker 2: us and that's a oil base.

1561
01:03:26,920 --> 01:03:29,120
Speaker 1: This is an injection twice a week and it's just

1562
01:03:29,120 --> 01:03:31,400
Speaker 1: a small micro a little fucking amount. It's not much.

1563
01:03:31,400 --> 01:03:33,880
Speaker 1: You don't need to run fuck loads, but your energy

1564
01:03:33,960 --> 01:03:36,400
Speaker 1: levels will come up. You'll feel amazing. And I've been

1565
01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:38,760
Speaker 1: running it for about probably five years now. I've been

1566
01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:42,240
Speaker 1: on TRT for five years and your blood as good

1567
01:03:42,320 --> 01:03:44,560
Speaker 1: as fuck. I'm an advocate for I thing. It's it's

1568
01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:46,640
Speaker 1: not a fucking drug that ain't kill anhim. So when

1569
01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:48,560
Speaker 1: you're when you're at the age and you got bloods done,

1570
01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:50,400
Speaker 1: if you get your bloods done and your levels are normal,

1571
01:03:50,480 --> 01:03:52,720
Speaker 1: don't do it. Don't do it. If your levels are fine,

1572
01:03:52,760 --> 01:03:54,880
Speaker 1: it's fine, you're functioning, you fine, Just clean up your

1573
01:03:54,880 --> 01:03:56,640
Speaker 1: diet train and you look bad, you know what I mean?

1574
01:03:56,680 --> 01:03:57,720
Speaker 1: You can look good, natty brother.

1575
01:03:57,920 --> 01:03:59,919
Speaker 2: That's the the whole reason why I'm asking is because

1576
01:04:00,040 --> 01:04:02,000
Speaker 2: I went and done my blood and my.

1577
01:04:02,080 --> 01:04:06,400
Speaker 1: Test is down, prelumited. You're going to have more energy

1578
01:04:06,400 --> 01:04:08,120
Speaker 1: for your kids. You're going to have more energy for

1579
01:04:08,160 --> 01:04:10,000
Speaker 1: your family, more energy for your day to day life.

1580
01:04:10,040 --> 01:04:12,920
Speaker 1: Your work train hard and there are no downsides to it.

1581
01:04:12,880 --> 01:04:14,920
Speaker 2: And you reckon. The cause is mainly from because I

1582
01:04:14,920 --> 01:04:17,360
Speaker 2: obviously part I milked out bloody a lot.

1583
01:04:17,440 --> 01:04:18,440
Speaker 1: You've used your body, right?

1584
01:04:18,720 --> 01:04:20,600
Speaker 2: Would it also be because I did hear that the

1585
01:04:20,640 --> 01:04:23,640
Speaker 2: stats of testosterone in men are way lower than they've

1586
01:04:23,680 --> 01:04:24,040
Speaker 2: ever been.

1587
01:04:24,120 --> 01:04:25,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, look at the culture.

1588
01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:26,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's right.

1589
01:04:26,960 --> 01:04:30,280
Speaker 1: That's what everyone's in the day was no heavy drugs.

1590
01:04:30,280 --> 01:04:32,919
Speaker 1: It wasn't everyone using rack all the time. Twenty twenty

1591
01:04:32,960 --> 01:04:35,640
Speaker 1: years ago. It was everyone was just pucking alcoholics.

1592
01:04:35,040 --> 01:04:38,520
Speaker 2: And plus every man. Unlike everyone's on social media now.

1593
01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:40,800
Speaker 2: Life it just isn't as hard as it used to be.

1594
01:04:40,880 --> 01:04:43,240
Speaker 1: I guess yeah, yeah, but that's the levels will be.

1595
01:04:43,560 --> 01:04:46,440
Speaker 1: If they're low, I recommend going getting blood test done, okay,

1596
01:04:46,480 --> 01:04:48,320
Speaker 1: through a proper clinic. That's clings out. As I said,

1597
01:04:48,480 --> 01:04:50,600
Speaker 1: optimal health clinical shouted me out is made of mine

1598
01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:52,400
Speaker 1: own as a clinics and it's a great clean to

1599
01:04:52,400 --> 01:04:54,520
Speaker 1: be bloods. It's all through doctors, all legal as fuck.

1600
01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:56,840
Speaker 1: That's mad getting gear off all made at the gym.

1601
01:05:00,120 --> 01:05:02,760
Speaker 2: Some of you might take this out of context. Don't

1602
01:05:02,840 --> 01:05:04,360
Speaker 2: hit up app from the gym.

1603
01:05:04,200 --> 01:05:08,920
Speaker 1: But log you can't. But like you can do it

1604
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:10,919
Speaker 1: safely and properly. And I think it's I think most

1605
01:05:10,920 --> 01:05:12,960
Speaker 1: men should get eurling. Every man over the age of

1606
01:05:13,400 --> 01:05:15,840
Speaker 1: I got it. I fucked my body young, but I

1607
01:05:15,920 --> 01:05:18,680
Speaker 1: know early late twenties, early thirties should get a blood

1608
01:05:18,680 --> 01:05:22,040
Speaker 1: test done. Bro, you get a blood test if it's low.

1609
01:05:22,120 --> 01:05:25,120
Speaker 1: But by low tests astone has massive links to male depression,

1610
01:05:25,120 --> 01:05:28,280
Speaker 1: male suicide. All shiit, bro, because you're not function down,

1611
01:05:28,360 --> 01:05:30,560
Speaker 1: you low, you feel you're can't get your dick hard? Bro?

1612
01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:35,560
Speaker 1: Yeah fuck't that would be fucked. That's a lot, man. Yeah,

1613
01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:38,200
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna I'm all for it. I've got nothing

1614
01:05:38,200 --> 01:05:39,320
Speaker 1: to high fe No.

1615
01:05:39,320 --> 01:05:41,439
Speaker 2: That's mad because bro, lad you know what I wanted

1616
01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:43,920
Speaker 2: to ask. I've seen a snippet of you talking about it,

1617
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:46,960
Speaker 2: and no one talks about this, no one even in

1618
01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:49,440
Speaker 2: the body of building community. All they say is creating.

1619
01:05:49,520 --> 01:05:52,000
Speaker 2: And I'm thinking, why is there anyone like a lad

1620
01:05:52,120 --> 01:05:54,960
Speaker 2: like myself that because I've heard the good side and

1621
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:57,120
Speaker 2: the bad sides and stuff. I'm always on Reddit.

1622
01:05:57,280 --> 01:06:00,720
Speaker 1: Just you're abusing it, bro. Yeah, yeah, you're running the

1623
01:06:00,760 --> 01:06:03,520
Speaker 1: compounds like DECA and all that other than trend and

1624
01:06:03,600 --> 01:06:05,760
Speaker 1: that that's going to fuck your hormones. Bro, That's like,

1625
01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:08,640
Speaker 1: that's that's no good. You know, there's other stuff of

1626
01:06:08,680 --> 01:06:10,320
Speaker 1: the Compoundshen you start mixing sh it and doing a

1627
01:06:10,400 --> 01:06:13,080
Speaker 1: juicy cycle to put on heaps of side, that's when

1628
01:06:13,080 --> 01:06:15,400
Speaker 1: you're gonna fuck your body up. Most people do that

1629
01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:17,600
Speaker 1: and they don't come off properly. They don't PCT, they

1630
01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:18,360
Speaker 1: don't do anything right.

1631
01:06:18,520 --> 01:06:19,440
Speaker 2: And what's PCT.

1632
01:06:19,680 --> 01:06:21,880
Speaker 1: So it's like when you run testosterone, you cancel out

1633
01:06:21,880 --> 01:06:24,040
Speaker 1: your natural test levels. That's what happens. You suppress your

1634
01:06:24,040 --> 01:06:26,680
Speaker 1: normal tests and you get synthetics testosterone and that's and

1635
01:06:26,720 --> 01:06:29,040
Speaker 1: it's just like normal tests. But so when but when

1636
01:06:29,040 --> 01:06:31,560
Speaker 1: you stop taking your normal testosterone or your big cycle

1637
01:06:31,960 --> 01:06:34,240
Speaker 1: and you just stop randomly and that's out your system.

1638
01:06:34,280 --> 01:06:37,000
Speaker 1: Your normal test hasn't come back. It's still and then

1639
01:06:37,040 --> 01:06:39,920
Speaker 1: what's the explain what happens to energy? You won't get

1640
01:06:39,920 --> 01:06:42,000
Speaker 1: a dick hard fucking you won't just be low energy.

1641
01:06:42,040 --> 01:06:44,479
Speaker 1: So there's stuff you can take like hate CG and ship.

1642
01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:47,440
Speaker 1: They get your levels back up, like boostrom a system

1643
01:06:47,440 --> 01:06:49,880
Speaker 1: back up so you can come off a cycle properly,

1644
01:06:50,320 --> 01:06:52,200
Speaker 1: you know, and run things to get your body naturally

1645
01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:56,919
Speaker 1: working again. This is actually properly information clinic, health clinic

1646
01:06:56,960 --> 01:06:59,000
Speaker 1: I'm talking about. If you I'll send you it after that, Yeah,

1647
01:06:59,040 --> 01:07:01,120
Speaker 1: please send you them. Okay, they're good, but they do

1648
01:07:01,160 --> 01:07:02,960
Speaker 1: all that sort of shit proper through doctors like this

1649
01:07:03,040 --> 01:07:04,680
Speaker 1: day and age. But it's it's very there's a lot

1650
01:07:04,720 --> 01:07:06,880
Speaker 1: of cleanings out there. It's getting more and more common.

1651
01:07:06,920 --> 01:07:08,240
Speaker 1: Like it's it's great.

1652
01:07:08,800 --> 01:07:10,720
Speaker 2: I think it's mad the way even the way you

1653
01:07:10,760 --> 01:07:12,880
Speaker 2: address it as well, Like because the doctor was telling

1654
01:07:12,920 --> 01:07:15,120
Speaker 2: me about T, I T yeah, but I kind of

1655
01:07:15,200 --> 01:07:18,320
Speaker 2: like I was always I'm scared of needles, but I'm

1656
01:07:18,440 --> 01:07:22,000
Speaker 2: scared of needles. I just feel like it's like I

1657
01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:24,840
Speaker 2: don't want to be like a pin cushion going yeah,

1658
01:07:25,320 --> 01:07:26,240
Speaker 2: that's exactly you.

1659
01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:28,320
Speaker 1: I used to, but I want to I hate needles too, bro,

1660
01:07:28,440 --> 01:07:30,360
Speaker 1: Like that's why when I was hanging around, like I

1661
01:07:30,440 --> 01:07:32,720
Speaker 1: used to smoke. I used to smoke ice obviously. Yeah,

1662
01:07:32,760 --> 01:07:34,560
Speaker 1: but I'll be I can't say like I was booting

1663
01:07:34,560 --> 01:07:36,960
Speaker 1: mates up, like they'll be strapping up. I'll boot people

1664
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:39,320
Speaker 1: up in the neck and ship like I'd watch my

1665
01:07:39,360 --> 01:07:42,000
Speaker 1: whole crew and people I hung out with, you either

1666
01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:43,720
Speaker 1: shut up or you smoked. You know what I mean?

1667
01:07:43,800 --> 01:07:45,840
Speaker 1: That was but I was an icet. I love fucking

1668
01:07:45,840 --> 01:07:46,560
Speaker 1: smoking ice, you know.

1669
01:07:46,800 --> 01:07:47,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1670
01:07:47,600 --> 01:07:49,560
Speaker 1: But when I used to help people do needles, it

1671
01:07:49,640 --> 01:07:52,480
Speaker 1: just fucking and my mates like, oh, can you do

1672
01:07:52,520 --> 01:07:54,400
Speaker 1: this for me? I'm like, oh fuck, You're right. I

1673
01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:57,160
Speaker 1: hated doing it, drawing the blood out and doing that.

1674
01:07:57,200 --> 01:08:00,840
Speaker 2: It's ver and even it's kind of frowned upon. I'm like,

1675
01:08:00,840 --> 01:08:03,200
Speaker 2: like using needles, but the way you address it it

1676
01:08:03,320 --> 01:08:04,920
Speaker 2: makes it makes so much sense.

1677
01:08:05,040 --> 01:08:08,760
Speaker 1: Like like there's so many men that prescribed it legally

1678
01:08:08,800 --> 01:08:09,320
Speaker 1: through a doctor.

1679
01:08:09,360 --> 01:08:14,080
Speaker 2: Bro, It's the same thing as doctors prescribing like medicine,

1680
01:08:14,240 --> 01:08:16,160
Speaker 2: and like if your body needs.

1681
01:08:15,880 --> 01:08:18,280
Speaker 1: It, volumes and fucking shit are prescribing. They fuck your

1682
01:08:18,280 --> 01:08:23,000
Speaker 1: head up more than any depressants in two seconds. Bro,

1683
01:08:23,240 --> 01:08:25,720
Speaker 1: that's true. Okay, but I'll shot to test us and

1684
01:08:25,720 --> 01:08:27,400
Speaker 1: it's going to make you feel amazing and doesn't have

1685
01:08:27,520 --> 01:08:30,120
Speaker 1: any negative side effects. In my I've had no negative

1686
01:08:30,160 --> 01:08:31,760
Speaker 1: side effects in five years of using it.

1687
01:08:32,080 --> 01:08:32,599
Speaker 2: That's mad.

1688
01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:35,320
Speaker 1: So I'm advocate for. I don't care people how I'm

1689
01:08:35,320 --> 01:08:35,960
Speaker 1: a steroid head.

1690
01:08:35,960 --> 01:08:38,880
Speaker 2: And there's a lot of warriors out there. Even on

1691
01:08:38,920 --> 01:08:41,720
Speaker 2: our podcast we get a majority of our fans are

1692
01:08:41,720 --> 01:08:42,360
Speaker 2: pretty good, but.

1693
01:08:42,320 --> 01:08:46,240
Speaker 1: You get yeah, buddies, he's a real But yeah, that's

1694
01:08:46,240 --> 01:08:49,080
Speaker 1: why that would and fly down from fucking Brisbane.

1695
01:08:49,479 --> 01:08:53,040
Speaker 2: Come. He flew all the way down from Brisbane. And

1696
01:08:54,040 --> 01:08:57,720
Speaker 2: he actually mentioned something I caught earlier about you were

1697
01:08:57,760 --> 01:09:00,599
Speaker 2: stealing naughty car? Do you say Nordika top? So a

1698
01:09:00,600 --> 01:09:03,040
Speaker 2: lot of you guys say that Brisbane and Gold Coast

1699
01:09:03,160 --> 01:09:05,200
Speaker 2: were not on that lad year. You've heard it here

1700
01:09:05,200 --> 01:09:08,200
Speaker 2: from Dusk. They were on that lad year.

1701
01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:12,080
Speaker 1: I was. I was Nike shocks, Nordica shorts, fucking Nordic

1702
01:09:12,240 --> 01:09:13,880
Speaker 1: polos and hundreds of them.

1703
01:09:13,880 --> 01:09:14,679
Speaker 2: Bro, there you go.

1704
01:09:14,920 --> 01:09:17,000
Speaker 1: I was Brisbane all size and what what I was?

1705
01:09:17,040 --> 01:09:17,559
Speaker 2: What year was?

1706
01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:20,719
Speaker 1: Hundreds of lads? I was fuck? What happy? Two thousand?

1707
01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:24,519
Speaker 1: Fuck probably two thousand and ten eleven.

1708
01:09:26,040 --> 01:09:28,000
Speaker 2: Ronnie, this is gonna be a real This reel is

1709
01:09:28,040 --> 01:09:30,000
Speaker 2: going to make a lot of war in the comments

1710
01:09:30,080 --> 01:09:32,840
Speaker 2: because I actually knew that Brisbane world. There were a

1711
01:09:32,840 --> 01:09:33,880
Speaker 2: few lads over there.

1712
01:09:33,960 --> 01:09:35,640
Speaker 1: And they used to paint with so many lads. I

1713
01:09:35,680 --> 01:09:37,200
Speaker 1: was all painting cruise all through Brisbane.

1714
01:09:37,280 --> 01:09:38,200
Speaker 2: It wasn't just Sydney.

1715
01:09:38,280 --> 01:09:41,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was paying. I was painting every night over there.

1716
01:09:41,240 --> 01:09:43,280
Speaker 1: I was paying every night. In Brazil, groups of lads

1717
01:09:43,320 --> 01:09:45,320
Speaker 1: will go out with a bag full of fucking iron

1718
01:09:45,400 --> 01:09:47,400
Speaker 1: laspar and go painting the streets every fucking night. Bro

1719
01:09:47,479 --> 01:09:50,160
Speaker 1: with like hundreds of people I met that were in

1720
01:09:50,160 --> 01:09:52,599
Speaker 1: the scene. Yeah, so many lads scenes on the Brize,

1721
01:09:52,640 --> 01:09:54,720
Speaker 1: painting trains and bo when hill Yard, I mean, like this,

1722
01:09:54,840 --> 01:09:55,360
Speaker 1: it's massive.

1723
01:09:55,439 --> 01:09:58,320
Speaker 2: Wow. I'm glad we've finally got someone proper from that

1724
01:09:58,439 --> 01:10:01,320
Speaker 2: time to get pay your homage, because a lot of

1725
01:10:01,360 --> 01:10:03,400
Speaker 2: people would argue in the comments that there were lads

1726
01:10:03,400 --> 01:10:05,840
Speaker 2: in Brisbane, but we just didn't know anyone that was

1727
01:10:05,880 --> 01:10:07,160
Speaker 2: around Brisbane around that time.

1728
01:10:08,240 --> 01:10:09,880
Speaker 1: Massive, there you go. I don't think there was a

1729
01:10:09,920 --> 01:10:12,360
Speaker 1: massive lads scene on the Gold Coast, Yeah, I don't think.

1730
01:10:12,360 --> 01:10:15,240
Speaker 1: But Brisbane was ball I was fucking I know hundreds,

1731
01:10:15,240 --> 01:10:19,400
Speaker 1: if not, I've bet thousands of lads in Brisbee proper.

1732
01:10:19,280 --> 01:10:25,960
Speaker 2: Like proper al right, guys, I think, bro, I didn't

1733
01:10:25,960 --> 01:10:28,200
Speaker 2: even want to end this world. I'll stop more question

1734
01:10:28,280 --> 01:10:32,280
Speaker 2: as well, ask how long we got? How long we got?

1735
01:10:32,760 --> 01:10:36,000
Speaker 2: Probably got five ten minutes. We'll go, we'll go running now,

1736
01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:40,040
Speaker 2: I'll let you. I've been hogging the mic. What's that

1737
01:10:40,160 --> 01:10:41,120
Speaker 2: to ask? What's what's?

1738
01:10:41,160 --> 01:10:45,400
Speaker 3: Probably what's your thing that as you love training and

1739
01:10:45,520 --> 01:10:48,479
Speaker 3: seeing that as that's part of your your whole changing,

1740
01:10:48,640 --> 01:10:50,679
Speaker 3: like your whole life, and that what would you say

1741
01:10:50,720 --> 01:10:55,559
Speaker 3: is the most important exercise or whatever exercise that just

1742
01:10:56,120 --> 01:10:59,240
Speaker 3: kind of kept you going and like probably probably the

1743
01:10:59,280 --> 01:11:02,680
Speaker 3: most exercise you prioritize the most or car Well, what's

1744
01:11:02,680 --> 01:11:03,240
Speaker 3: your favorite?

1745
01:11:03,320 --> 01:11:06,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love cardio. I think that's kept

1746
01:11:06,479 --> 01:11:06,800
Speaker 2: you going.

1747
01:11:06,880 --> 01:11:09,200
Speaker 1: Yeah. I do sixty minutes of cardio every morning. Cardio.

1748
01:11:09,200 --> 01:11:10,840
Speaker 1: It makes you feel good. Ways is awesome. You build

1749
01:11:10,840 --> 01:11:12,920
Speaker 1: the body and anything like that. But exercising in general,

1750
01:11:13,080 --> 01:11:15,160
Speaker 1: you need a train, bro. You gotta train. I trained

1751
01:11:15,160 --> 01:11:17,080
Speaker 1: for my mental health, bro h, I don't train for

1752
01:11:17,080 --> 01:11:19,080
Speaker 1: my body. I've got my body, but that comes anyway.

1753
01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:20,559
Speaker 1: But I trained for my mental health. I go in

1754
01:11:20,600 --> 01:11:22,280
Speaker 1: and train and feel good, you know. But I've just

1755
01:11:22,320 --> 01:11:25,320
Speaker 1: started getting boxing and that bro boxing man boxes. Yeah,

1756
01:11:25,439 --> 01:11:28,040
Speaker 1: I started boxinguse obviously a fight, fought a lot as

1757
01:11:28,040 --> 01:11:30,160
Speaker 1: a young lad and shit. But you get humbled when

1758
01:11:30,200 --> 01:11:31,840
Speaker 1: you go from thinking you can fight and then you

1759
01:11:31,960 --> 01:11:34,320
Speaker 1: jump into a ring and start learning how to fight. Yeah,

1760
01:11:34,520 --> 01:11:36,920
Speaker 1: you get humbled. Brothers comes out there can bang boxes

1761
01:11:36,960 --> 01:11:39,120
Speaker 1: and fighters a fighters bro, and I expect fighters somewhere.

1762
01:11:39,439 --> 01:11:41,880
Speaker 1: I've started boxing for about but the last year. Start

1763
01:11:41,920 --> 01:11:44,040
Speaker 1: off doing pad work and I loved it because I'm

1764
01:11:44,040 --> 01:11:45,519
Speaker 1: bigger and I can move, and I was like, fuck,

1765
01:11:45,560 --> 01:11:47,519
Speaker 1: I love this. I was like, I'm feeling good, and

1766
01:11:47,560 --> 01:11:49,840
Speaker 1: then started sparring a few boys. I'm like, oh, this

1767
01:11:49,920 --> 01:11:51,479
Speaker 1: is mad, you know what I mean, like fucking fall

1768
01:11:51,479 --> 01:11:53,479
Speaker 1: in love with it. And probably next year I'm hopefully

1769
01:11:53,560 --> 01:11:55,840
Speaker 1: going into Golden Gloves and go just try and see.

1770
01:11:55,840 --> 01:11:57,040
Speaker 1: I'll probably fuck that.

1771
01:11:57,160 --> 01:11:59,719
Speaker 2: I'll be watching that, We'll be watching behind you.

1772
01:11:59,720 --> 01:12:01,240
Speaker 1: Now get more and more into it, and I love

1773
01:12:01,280 --> 01:12:03,760
Speaker 1: them moving and just loving the sport, like I have

1774
01:12:03,840 --> 01:12:07,160
Speaker 1: so much respect for that sport, boxing, MMA, everything like

1775
01:12:07,200 --> 01:12:10,160
Speaker 1: the it's it's a great sport and I'm fall in

1776
01:12:10,160 --> 01:12:11,559
Speaker 1: love with it. I love it, Like it's good to

1777
01:12:11,600 --> 01:12:12,840
Speaker 1: know I was a man too to go and be

1778
01:12:12,840 --> 01:12:14,680
Speaker 1: able to It's a confidence thing. You know you can

1779
01:12:14,680 --> 01:12:16,120
Speaker 1: bang and know you can hold your own and.

1780
01:12:16,360 --> 01:12:19,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, but what was your first feeling when you first

1781
01:12:19,439 --> 01:12:22,160
Speaker 2: got into a ring and like, I'm quite a professional

1782
01:12:22,240 --> 01:12:25,120
Speaker 2: fight but even in like a spa like yeah, coppying

1783
01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:27,040
Speaker 2: copp in some good shots and well.

1784
01:12:26,800 --> 01:12:28,640
Speaker 1: It was it was humbling, but it was it was

1785
01:12:28,680 --> 01:12:30,599
Speaker 1: good to know that I could still I'm not made

1786
01:12:30,600 --> 01:12:34,240
Speaker 1: a glass. Yeah years, bro, you know I was out

1787
01:12:34,280 --> 01:12:35,479
Speaker 1: of the see them doing all this sort of stuff

1788
01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:37,080
Speaker 1: and four for years, and you don't know if you're

1789
01:12:37,080 --> 01:12:39,080
Speaker 1: not fighting regularly, Like I was like in the back

1790
01:12:39,080 --> 01:12:40,720
Speaker 1: of your mind, like I've still got it? Can I

1791
01:12:40,720 --> 01:12:42,920
Speaker 1: still fight? Like cut copper hit And then went in

1792
01:12:42,960 --> 01:12:46,280
Speaker 1: there and sparing some good boxes and getting cracks like

1793
01:12:46,280 --> 01:12:50,800
Speaker 1: I'm like crack, but I'm like, I'm sweet, keep going.

1794
01:12:50,840 --> 01:12:52,600
Speaker 1: But it's good to learn, bro, going in there and

1795
01:12:52,640 --> 01:12:55,840
Speaker 1: it's fucking it's something we wait. It's like wait to go.

1796
01:12:55,920 --> 01:12:58,000
Speaker 1: Put a five killer played on and it's like five

1797
01:12:58,040 --> 01:13:02,920
Speaker 1: more killers. Just fucking boring, bro. Yeah, yeah, it's just born.

1798
01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:05,640
Speaker 1: Once I started found boxing and it's like your footwork

1799
01:13:05,760 --> 01:13:08,120
Speaker 1: like you're like everything involved around.

1800
01:13:07,920 --> 01:13:10,240
Speaker 2: It and there's no resting between sets.

1801
01:13:10,880 --> 01:13:11,120
Speaker 3: I know.

1802
01:13:11,240 --> 01:13:14,240
Speaker 2: The cardio of boxing is the most roofless cardio.

1803
01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:17,360
Speaker 1: It's fucking but it's good. It's it's great and it's

1804
01:13:17,360 --> 01:13:18,639
Speaker 1: gonna be able to learn and be able to move

1805
01:13:18,680 --> 01:13:20,400
Speaker 1: and just getting a ring with it. I just wanted

1806
01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:21,800
Speaker 1: to start doing it because the film my mates are

1807
01:13:21,800 --> 01:13:24,240
Speaker 1: professional fighters. Oh well, I'm like, I want to be

1808
01:13:24,240 --> 01:13:25,800
Speaker 1: able to instead of like catching up with the Brian

1809
01:13:25,840 --> 01:13:27,439
Speaker 1: doing the gym session, I'm like, I want to go

1810
01:13:27,439 --> 01:13:29,960
Speaker 1: sparing for you rounds with the mate. Yeah, it's fun.

1811
01:13:30,400 --> 01:13:32,040
Speaker 1: And then started doing it more and more and than

1812
01:13:32,080 --> 01:13:33,360
Speaker 1: I started to fall in love with it, and I'm

1813
01:13:33,360 --> 01:13:35,200
Speaker 1: just fucking It's like one of my main It's like

1814
01:13:35,200 --> 01:13:37,360
Speaker 1: a little like side passion of mine. Now I just

1815
01:13:37,400 --> 01:13:40,400
Speaker 1: love it and you just love But the people in

1816
01:13:40,439 --> 01:13:42,680
Speaker 1: the fight scene two that everyone is so humble and

1817
01:13:42,800 --> 01:13:45,960
Speaker 1: nice broo fighters best, some of the best people in

1818
01:13:46,000 --> 01:13:48,160
Speaker 1: the world, but they're all humble that all want to

1819
01:13:48,160 --> 01:13:50,240
Speaker 1: help you and do better, Like there's no there's some

1820
01:13:50,280 --> 01:13:52,120
Speaker 1: people with egos and ship but good on them. But

1821
01:13:52,360 --> 01:13:55,080
Speaker 1: most of the boxes I've boxed with a really good boxes.

1822
01:13:55,080 --> 01:13:56,960
Speaker 1: But I go spar with them and they take that.

1823
01:13:57,120 --> 01:13:58,880
Speaker 1: They don't go hard out on me. They're like, they're

1824
01:13:58,920 --> 01:14:01,200
Speaker 1: humble as and they want to watch you rights. It's

1825
01:14:01,200 --> 01:14:03,639
Speaker 1: a great community, but look at a fight. Fight gym's

1826
01:14:03,680 --> 01:14:05,519
Speaker 1: fight like communities.

1827
01:14:04,920 --> 01:14:08,080
Speaker 2: But it's very very, very very down to earth people.

1828
01:14:08,640 --> 01:14:09,080
Speaker 2: That's true.

1829
01:14:09,720 --> 01:14:12,240
Speaker 1: I think any lads that are struggling, get yourself into

1830
01:14:12,240 --> 01:14:13,920
Speaker 1: like a fight, even you know fight is going to

1831
01:14:13,960 --> 01:14:16,720
Speaker 1: be a part of the community. Save your life. You know,

1832
01:14:16,760 --> 01:14:17,960
Speaker 1: you could say, you just give you a bit of

1833
01:14:18,000 --> 01:14:19,840
Speaker 1: direction for you, like minded people that want you to

1834
01:14:19,840 --> 01:14:21,920
Speaker 1: do good. If you go in there, you're surrounded by

1835
01:14:21,920 --> 01:14:23,559
Speaker 1: good people. Bro, I fucking love it.

1836
01:14:23,840 --> 01:14:25,679
Speaker 2: Do you think do you think that like a basic

1837
01:14:26,439 --> 01:14:30,040
Speaker 2: like a basic set of combat abilities every man should

1838
01:14:30,080 --> 01:14:30,719
Speaker 2: have in his ustle.

1839
01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:33,040
Speaker 1: Everyone wants to know they can hold their own. Everyone

1840
01:14:33,040 --> 01:14:34,400
Speaker 1: wants to know that you're going to be okay. That

1841
01:14:34,439 --> 01:14:36,479
Speaker 1: little fear of like you don't want to have that.

1842
01:14:36,520 --> 01:14:37,880
Speaker 1: You want to know you can hold your own, even

1843
01:14:37,920 --> 01:14:40,519
Speaker 1: as a father and father to protect, as a man,

1844
01:14:40,560 --> 01:14:42,360
Speaker 1: as anything. You want to know you can hold your own.

1845
01:14:43,320 --> 01:14:45,760
Speaker 1: There's something that you need toever, you need to do.

1846
01:14:46,760 --> 01:14:48,919
Speaker 1: IF's not the best im going to go get world titles.

1847
01:14:49,439 --> 01:14:51,880
Speaker 1: You can defend yourself. You know you can throw hands.

1848
01:14:52,520 --> 01:14:54,400
Speaker 2: You got to take this boxing thing all the way in.

1849
01:14:57,000 --> 01:15:00,040
Speaker 1: I don't want these pros offering me out, but I

1850
01:15:00,040 --> 01:15:03,040
Speaker 1: wanted to make a little I'm mis doing it for

1851
01:15:03,080 --> 01:15:05,600
Speaker 1: my mental health. For me, Bro, I'm not doing it

1852
01:15:05,600 --> 01:15:08,160
Speaker 1: to go win world titles like unders doing it for me.

1853
01:15:08,280 --> 01:15:12,360
Speaker 1: I'm just my my passion. My purpose is helping people

1854
01:15:12,400 --> 01:15:15,160
Speaker 1: change their lives. I want to go once I get successful,

1855
01:15:15,200 --> 01:15:16,880
Speaker 1: buy a few more properties and stuff like that. I

1856
01:15:16,920 --> 01:15:19,000
Speaker 1: want to go off of my time and speak in

1857
01:15:19,040 --> 01:15:21,920
Speaker 1: schools all over Australia. That's that's my five year plan,

1858
01:15:22,400 --> 01:15:24,240
Speaker 1: is to go speak and get my story out there

1859
01:15:24,240 --> 01:15:26,600
Speaker 1: and message and as you've heard my story, like I

1860
01:15:26,600 --> 01:15:28,840
Speaker 1: want to go speak in every school in Australia. I

1861
01:15:28,920 --> 01:15:33,400
Speaker 1: want to go amazing story like big Drug like n

1862
01:15:33,439 --> 01:15:36,320
Speaker 1: A and a me like big you know Na, yeah, yeah.

1863
01:15:36,479 --> 01:15:38,120
Speaker 1: I want to go speak on stages. I want to

1864
01:15:38,120 --> 01:15:40,760
Speaker 1: do David gog and Ship. That's where my purpose is.

1865
01:15:40,840 --> 01:15:43,080
Speaker 1: Boxing is just waits and training. That's just a thing

1866
01:15:43,120 --> 01:15:46,040
Speaker 1: for me, Like I'm doing that to become the next

1867
01:15:46,080 --> 01:15:48,880
Speaker 1: fucking Muhammad Ali. Like I'm doing it for me, I

1868
01:15:48,880 --> 01:15:52,080
Speaker 1: don't care. My passion is helping change people's I get

1869
01:15:52,120 --> 01:15:54,000
Speaker 1: my story out there because I know it's powerful. Was

1870
01:15:54,040 --> 01:15:56,640
Speaker 1: the male lives that have changed just by speaking and

1871
01:15:56,680 --> 01:15:58,720
Speaker 1: being able to help people. I know that's where I'm

1872
01:15:58,720 --> 01:16:00,400
Speaker 1: meant to be. Like I'm not I'm not having kids

1873
01:16:00,479 --> 01:16:02,240
Speaker 1: like me and my misus spoke about, I'm not having

1874
01:16:02,280 --> 01:16:04,400
Speaker 1: kids because I find we're both equal on that. We

1875
01:16:04,479 --> 01:16:05,800
Speaker 1: just want to live our life and that's just my

1876
01:16:05,840 --> 01:16:08,880
Speaker 1: own choice. But I find my purpose and my passion

1877
01:16:08,920 --> 01:16:11,240
Speaker 1: is helping other people. Like that's that's where I want

1878
01:16:11,240 --> 01:16:13,000
Speaker 1: to be. And as I said, I want to speak

1879
01:16:13,000 --> 01:16:15,479
Speaker 1: on stages and all over the world. Even so I

1880
01:16:15,520 --> 01:16:16,920
Speaker 1: once I get set up and buy a few more

1881
01:16:16,920 --> 01:16:19,320
Speaker 1: houses and stuff and I'm set like I was still

1882
01:16:19,400 --> 01:16:21,360
Speaker 1: in my coaching and because I love helping people. But

1883
01:16:21,400 --> 01:16:23,720
Speaker 1: then I want to get like a speaking manager and

1884
01:16:23,800 --> 01:16:24,840
Speaker 1: like get them.

1885
01:16:24,680 --> 01:16:25,679
Speaker 2: To put all the wayward.

1886
01:16:25,760 --> 01:16:27,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, put my name forward a big events. I haven't

1887
01:16:27,479 --> 01:16:29,920
Speaker 1: got time to look for that ship. I'm so busy,

1888
01:16:29,960 --> 01:16:32,679
Speaker 1: but it's just I want to go speak on big stages.

1889
01:16:33,040 --> 01:16:34,160
Speaker 1: That's where my purpose is.

1890
01:16:35,040 --> 01:16:41,400
Speaker 2: Maybe Paul Gallant later later on Paul what I'm mad?

1891
01:16:41,479 --> 01:16:44,679
Speaker 2: Chat Lad, What I'm mad yar because any special people

1892
01:16:44,680 --> 01:16:46,559
Speaker 2: you want to give a shout out to before we

1893
01:16:46,800 --> 01:16:47,439
Speaker 2: close it up.

1894
01:16:47,960 --> 01:16:51,160
Speaker 1: My mum rests in peace and love your mum and

1895
01:16:51,200 --> 01:16:54,719
Speaker 1: my wife obviously fucking biggest support every and my family

1896
01:16:54,960 --> 01:16:56,880
Speaker 1: and all my good mates even stands by me. Even

1897
01:16:56,960 --> 01:17:00,680
Speaker 1: that supports my message and what I'm about. That's for

1898
01:17:00,880 --> 01:17:02,920
Speaker 1: hope for people who are struggling. So it was like

1899
01:17:03,360 --> 01:17:06,479
Speaker 1: Darcy fit, Darcy fits, that's my brand that but it's

1900
01:17:06,520 --> 01:17:09,040
Speaker 1: it's my brand is hope for people who are struggling.

1901
01:17:09,600 --> 01:17:12,160
Speaker 1: That's right. So shouts everyone who supports me and shout

1902
01:17:12,160 --> 01:17:13,160
Speaker 1: to you boys to have me on here.

1903
01:17:13,280 --> 01:17:13,960
Speaker 2: Thank you brother.

1904
01:17:15,360 --> 01:17:17,519
Speaker 1: Sick to it's it's good.

1905
01:17:17,520 --> 01:17:19,640
Speaker 2: Thank you guys for tuning in for another episode. This

1906
01:17:19,720 --> 01:17:22,240
Speaker 2: was probably one of my favorite episodes. We actually caught

1907
01:17:22,280 --> 01:17:24,320
Speaker 2: a lot of gems and game from this and I

1908
01:17:24,360 --> 01:17:27,320
Speaker 2: know just from seeing Ronnie, we'll both thinking the same thing.

1909
01:17:27,360 --> 01:17:28,880
Speaker 2: Every time he dropped the gem, we looked at each

1910
01:17:28,880 --> 01:17:30,800
Speaker 2: other one like, bro, like we relate a lot to

1911
01:17:30,840 --> 01:17:33,960
Speaker 2: this bloke. Yeah, it's been an amazing journey. Make sure

1912
01:17:33,960 --> 01:17:36,360
Speaker 2: you guys follow him on Instagram and follow his Journey's

1913
01:17:36,360 --> 01:17:38,600
Speaker 2: doing some amazing stuff, I'm sure This won't be the

1914
01:17:38,680 --> 01:17:41,320
Speaker 2: last time we're going to catch up with this guy. Yeah.

1915
01:17:41,320 --> 01:17:44,320
Speaker 1: If use every on the Gold Coast.

1916
01:17:43,520 --> 01:17:45,040
Speaker 2: We will do Yeah, we will do it. Not for

1917
01:17:45,080 --> 01:17:45,519
Speaker 2: a fight, but.

1918
01:17:48,080 --> 01:17:48,719
Speaker 1: Train or something.

1919
01:17:50,040 --> 01:17:51,920
Speaker 2: All Right, guys, thank you for tuning in. We'll see

1920
01:17:51,920 --> 01:17:54,559
Speaker 2: you guys. Another episode.

1921
01:17:54,439 --> 01:17:55,400
Speaker 1: You choose.

1922
01:17:56,600 --> 01:17:58,960
Speaker 2: With a cool with a cool cos

1923
01:17:59,000 --> 01:18:00,840
Speaker 1: We move quick like you.