WEBVTT - ASK UNCUT - Infiltrating the click 0:00:19.360 --> 0:00:22.000 Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life 0:00:22.000 --> 0:00:26.200 on Cut. It is Thursday. Thursday is the day before Friday, 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:29.480 but Thursday is also Ask Uncut Day. It is our short, sharp, 0:00:29.560 --> 0:00:34.159 down and dirty, sexy and somewhat questionable Ask Uncut session. 0:00:34.560 --> 0:00:36.599 You guys write in your questions and we try our 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:37.879 best to answer them. 0:00:37.920 --> 0:00:40.879 I'm Brittany and I'm Laura. And that was probably the 0:00:40.920 --> 0:00:43.880 best fucking intro you have ever done. I like that 0:00:43.960 --> 0:00:46.360 every week we commend each other on our intros, and 0:00:46.400 --> 0:00:48.680 that one was really spicy. I am here for it, 0:00:48.800 --> 0:00:50.880 thoroughly enjoyed it. Thank you, please come again. 0:00:51.080 --> 0:00:53.559 To be fair, like, we don't prepare these ever. We 0:00:53.680 --> 0:00:55.840 just come in and steamroll them out whatever comes off 0:00:55.880 --> 0:00:59.160 the tongue. But in like literally we just press record. 0:00:59.160 --> 0:01:01.280 We're like, let's go, look goes, you better make this good. 0:01:01.320 --> 0:01:02.120 And I was like, okay. 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:04.520 To be fair, though, we have been doing the exact 0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:06.399 same thing for two years now, so you would think 0:01:06.400 --> 0:01:09.480 that we were slightly more experienced at it, but apparently not. Anyway, 0:01:10.400 --> 0:01:11.840 I know that we have a couple of things to 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:14.520 talk about before we get into answering all your deep, 0:01:14.600 --> 0:01:15.479 dark and dirty questions. 0:01:15.560 --> 0:01:17.360 What have you been reading? What have you been thinking? 0:01:17.680 --> 0:01:20.920 I just think this is so funny. Now you had to. 0:01:21.160 --> 0:01:22.840 I know you've read it because we've chatted about it. 0:01:22.880 --> 0:01:24.720 You guys. I hope a lot of you are across it. 0:01:24.760 --> 0:01:27.920 But if you aren't, you may or may not have 0:01:28.040 --> 0:01:31.039 heard of Craig Kelly. Now, Craig Kelly is one of 0:01:31.080 --> 0:01:34.480 our very questionable politicians. He's a member of the United 0:01:34.480 --> 0:01:39.440 Australians Party and Craig Kelly has been doing us dirty. Now, 0:01:39.480 --> 0:01:41.440 Craig Kelly thought it was a brilliant idea. I don't 0:01:41.440 --> 0:01:42.520 know where he got this from, but he thought it 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:47.000 was a brilliant idea to send mass spam text messages 0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:53.400 to millions of Australians preaching misinformation about COVID. Now eight 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:57.080 thousand people already have put complaints into the Spam Act Board. 0:01:57.080 --> 0:01:58.920 Now I didn't even know there was a Spam Act Board. 0:01:58.920 --> 0:02:00.560 But it's amazing what you can find out when you 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:01.240 do some googling. 0:02:01.400 --> 0:02:03.760 Usually we get these sort of messages from retailers or 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:06.440 companies that we've shot with before. And there's and I 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:08.560 know this because we do DMS with Tony May Like, 0:02:08.600 --> 0:02:12.880 there's legislation around what you can email the frequency, how 0:02:12.919 --> 0:02:16.079 you can actually get someone's data and then contact them 0:02:16.080 --> 0:02:18.120 so that you're not spamming someone to purchase a product. 0:02:18.320 --> 0:02:21.919 But interestingly, politicians are completely exempt from the Spam Act 0:02:21.960 --> 0:02:24.080 and so some of you guys might have even received 0:02:24.080 --> 0:02:25.760 this text message. But this is what a lot of 0:02:25.760 --> 0:02:28.239 Australians woke up to one day. You can never trust 0:02:28.240 --> 0:02:31.640 the Liberals, Labor or Greens again. Authorized by Craig Kelly, 0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:34.359 United Australian Party. Click on this link and then it's 0:02:34.360 --> 0:02:37.000 got a link to whatever they're inside is okay. He's 0:02:37.080 --> 0:02:38.960 like the u uptext from the guy that just won't 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:40.679 leave you alone. That's the last message you want to 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:42.359 receive when you wake up in the morning, and it's 0:02:42.400 --> 0:02:43.720 just the most annoying thing. 0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:45.520 Is usually like you to said Laura. If you get 0:02:45.520 --> 0:02:47.920 a text message or an email or someone from a 0:02:47.960 --> 0:02:51.040 company that's just hassling you, there's always a big fat 0:02:51.200 --> 0:02:56.480 unsubscribed button at the bottom. You cannot unsubscribe from Craig Kelly. Now, 0:02:56.919 --> 0:02:59.800 something brilliant has happened in response, and this has got 0:02:59.840 --> 0:03:01.440 to be the best response I have ever seen in 0:03:01.480 --> 0:03:04.560 the history of responses. There is a party that has 0:03:04.600 --> 0:03:08.440 come out and they're very absolutely named cock block Craig Kelly. 0:03:08.520 --> 0:03:10.799 Now say that ten times fast. I d cock block 0:03:10.840 --> 0:03:13.560 Craig Kelly. Now this party has decided. They've put a 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:15.919 GoFundMe out, They've put a call out. They're like, guys, 0:03:15.960 --> 0:03:18.880 you can donate to this party because in response to 0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:21.400 Craig Kelly, we decided to raise fifteen thousand dollars so 0:03:21.440 --> 0:03:24.440 that we can send him to his place of residence 0:03:24.639 --> 0:03:31.040 one thousand dicks, like literally a thousand dicks. They are 0:03:31.080 --> 0:03:34.200 fundraising to have a thousand dicks, and I mean dix 0:03:34.280 --> 0:03:36.720 is in like their dildos, their little dildos, they're big dildos, 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:38.480 the different sizes, and they wanted to deliver them to 0:03:38.560 --> 0:03:40.360 his door. And I was like, this is the best 0:03:40.400 --> 0:03:42.680 thing that has happened this year. This is literally the 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:44.880 call to action of the website. If we can't stop 0:03:44.880 --> 0:03:48.480 the UAP from texting us with dangerous misinformation, then we reckon. 0:03:48.520 --> 0:03:51.160 The next best thing is to deliver Craig a message 0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:54.440 he can't ignore, a very big bag of dicks. Politician 0:03:54.480 --> 0:03:57.800 parties are exempt from anti spammres. Craig Kelly is. 0:03:57.840 --> 0:04:00.640 Using this loophole to spread health and miss information that 0:04:00.680 --> 0:04:01.800 puts everyone at risk. 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:04.720 The funniest part of this, though, and it does get funnier, 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:09.600 is that somehow someone has released Craig Kelly's number to 0:04:09.680 --> 0:04:13.080 the population, so people start to spam him back with messages. 0:04:13.120 --> 0:04:15.120 So he changed his number. Obviously, that's what you're going 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:17.520 to do, because you can't have a whole nation spamming you. 0:04:17.760 --> 0:04:20.320 He changed his number, and there are company is that 0:04:20.440 --> 0:04:22.760 keep finding out his number and they keep releasing it 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:25.640 so he can't escape. He's being bombarded daily with text 0:04:25.680 --> 0:04:28.040 messages back, and some of them there are websites with him. 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:30.160 Some of the text messages back are so fucking funny. 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:32.480 But look as funny as it is to laugh at 0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:35.000 the fact that we are bombarding him with text messages 0:04:35.080 --> 0:04:37.560 and we're asking you to donate. This party's asking you 0:04:37.560 --> 0:04:39.120 to donate money so that they can send a bag 0:04:39.120 --> 0:04:41.720 of dicks. Something good actually is coming out of this, 0:04:42.040 --> 0:04:46.400 because Cockblock Craig Kelly will actually donate seven dollars to 0:04:46.440 --> 0:04:50.120 a charity immunizing people against coronavirus in developing countries. So 0:04:50.160 --> 0:04:52.679 for every single donation you do, they're going to donate 0:04:52.760 --> 0:04:56.279 seven dollars to immunizing people. So basically the pro of 0:04:56.320 --> 0:05:00.279 this is Craig gets sent a bunch of dicks, we 0:05:00.320 --> 0:05:04.360 stop him from sturming misinformation and developing countries and getting immunization. 0:05:04.480 --> 0:05:06.360 So I feel like this is a win win situation. 0:05:06.640 --> 0:05:08.799 I think it's wild though, because like Craig has actually 0:05:08.920 --> 0:05:10.640 doubled I like, though we took calling him first name, 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:13.840 like Craig, he's just our mate now. So Craigy, Craigy boy, 0:05:14.040 --> 0:05:15.120 Craigie boy, has doubled down. 0:05:16.640 --> 0:05:17.520 He has doubled down. 0:05:17.600 --> 0:05:20.880 He's like, I'm not doing anything illegal, so therefore I'm 0:05:20.880 --> 0:05:23.479 not going to apologize for spamming the Australian nation. And 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:26.200 it's like, no, you're not doing anything illegal. You are 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:29.600 pursuing a loophole that exists in the Spam Act, and. 0:05:29.520 --> 0:05:30.680 You're fucking annoying. 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:33.479 Yeah, And it's annoying, Like even if you are somebody 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:35.440 who is a supporter of UAP, you're entitled to have 0:05:35.440 --> 0:05:38.760 your own political parties, you didn't opt in to receive 0:05:38.880 --> 0:05:41.240 text messages, and it's just so intrusive. I think the 0:05:41.279 --> 0:05:44.159 big question that everyone has is how did the UAP 0:05:44.400 --> 0:05:46.960 go about acquiring these phone numbers in the first place, 0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:49.840 and was how they acquired those phone numbers legal? And 0:05:49.880 --> 0:05:53.159 I'm going to say that most of us consent to 0:05:53.480 --> 0:05:57.800 our information being used almost daily without realizing. Like often 0:05:57.839 --> 0:06:00.760 when we all visit a website, we'll just tick like, yeah, okay, 0:06:00.800 --> 0:06:03.279 except cookies. Accept this, except that because we want to 0:06:03.279 --> 0:06:05.279 be able to go and visit the website. Like it's 0:06:05.279 --> 0:06:09.360 almost a subconscious thing that sometimes we opt into without realizing. 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:10.640 But it just goes to. 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:13.440 Show how our information can be used by things that 0:06:13.520 --> 0:06:17.640 we have absolutely never engaged in and have no interest 0:06:17.640 --> 0:06:18.320 in receiving. 0:06:18.560 --> 0:06:21.080 They actually make it that now that you've talked about cookies, 0:06:21.080 --> 0:06:24.520 they make it so hard on any website, Like no, 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:27.480 I feel likes History Dairy, it's so great. I have 0:06:27.560 --> 0:06:29.400 the article up in front of me right now about 0:06:29.400 --> 0:06:31.120 Craig Kelly, and at the bottom of it, I'm looking 0:06:31.160 --> 0:06:32.800 at it. We use cookies to ensure that we give 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:34.520 you the best experience. I'm like, is this Craig Kelly? 0:06:34.600 --> 0:06:36.919 I was like, is this is this? Employ if you 0:06:36.960 --> 0:06:39.040 try to suck me in? But if they make it 0:06:39.120 --> 0:06:41.360 so hard, and sometimes they give you the option, they're like, hey, 0:06:41.440 --> 0:06:43.880 you can also customize your cookies. If you want. They 0:06:43.920 --> 0:06:45.800 make it so hard to customize a cookie that you 0:06:45.880 --> 0:06:47.160 just don't do it. You're like, just let me into 0:06:47.160 --> 0:06:49.239 the side, Just take all my money, take my information, 0:06:49.320 --> 0:06:51.760 take my pass codes, just let me read the news article. 0:06:51.920 --> 0:06:53.680 And you're like, I'm sorry, you're not using You're not 0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:56.160 using these cookies to optimize my experience. You're using these 0:06:56.160 --> 0:06:57.520 cookies to fucking seldom me. 0:06:57.560 --> 0:06:59.320 I am not an idiot. I run a podcast. 0:06:59.360 --> 0:07:01.640 I know what I'm talking about, goddamn it, and steal 0:07:02.320 --> 0:07:05.279 steal my identity. Do you know what happened to me once? 0:07:05.480 --> 0:07:08.080 Speaking of sending someone a bag of dicks? Though after 0:07:08.120 --> 0:07:10.840 The Bachelor finished and I was living in Rushcatas Bay, 0:07:11.360 --> 0:07:13.760 I got sent a bag like I'm talking like a 0:07:13.840 --> 0:07:15.520 kilo of confetti? 0:07:15.560 --> 0:07:17.920 Dis what from who? 0:07:18.200 --> 0:07:20.480 Yeah, still don't knowe who? 0:07:21.000 --> 0:07:22.680 Like you don't know who? Said to me? 0:07:23.320 --> 0:07:26.960 No, So I received I received a parcel in the mail, 0:07:27.160 --> 0:07:29.360 a kilo parcel in the mail, and it was a 0:07:29.360 --> 0:07:31.880 box and basically like the way that you opened it, 0:07:31.920 --> 0:07:35.320 the box disintegrated and a fucking kilo of glitter confetti 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:37.720 dix exploded out of this box all. 0:07:37.600 --> 0:07:38.520 Over my apartment. 0:07:39.000 --> 0:07:40.560 And I have no idea who. 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:41.679 Sent it to me at all. 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:44.880 There was no information, there was no note, nobody came 0:07:44.920 --> 0:07:47.400 to claim it on social media afterwards. No one was like, 0:07:47.440 --> 0:07:48.840 ha haha, those dicks are from me. 0:07:49.920 --> 0:07:50.240 Yeah. 0:07:50.360 --> 0:07:52.480 I was still picking dicks out of like the crease 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:54.960 in the floorboard for about six months before I moved out. 0:07:55.080 --> 0:07:59.520 This is so weird because I mean, I wonder what 0:07:59.600 --> 0:08:01.920 the means behind this was. Was this someone that was 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:04.120 like happy for you and was a celebration like you 0:08:04.160 --> 0:08:08.120 won the dick? Or was it someone was there someone 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:10.080 that's like, you, guys are the biggest fucking dick, so 0:08:10.120 --> 0:08:11.560 he's a bag of dicks? Like what was that? I 0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:13.239 don't know if this is a positive or a negative. 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:14.000 I think it. 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:16.560 Has to be a negative. I think the connotations of 0:08:16.600 --> 0:08:20.800 sending someone a kilo glitter dick is definitely not positive, 0:08:20.800 --> 0:08:22.640 Like there's nothing about that, even though it does feel 0:08:22.720 --> 0:08:25.640 very celebratory and I quite enjoy a dick let alone, 0:08:25.680 --> 0:08:28.520 probably about three million of them. Yeah, it was really 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:31.840 really inconvenient trying to vacuum off a kilo of glitter 0:08:31.920 --> 0:08:34.280 dicks off the floor and out of the carpet. 0:08:34.360 --> 0:08:36.080 Okay, so it was probably the least she came runner 0:08:36.120 --> 0:08:42.400 up to She No, but how do you get I 0:08:42.480 --> 0:08:44.680 don't know, like, how did they even get your address? 0:08:45.160 --> 0:08:47.959 The how much effort they went to to do that? 0:08:48.040 --> 0:08:50.280 Did they cut throughout themselves? Do you is there a 0:08:50.280 --> 0:08:52.720 website you can go and order a pre made bag 0:08:52.760 --> 0:08:54.760 of confetti dicks? I don't know. There are so many 0:08:54.840 --> 0:08:57.280 questions I have in this story. It would really bother me. 0:08:57.720 --> 0:08:59.440 And I would actually be a bit weirted out if 0:08:59.480 --> 0:09:02.120 that got sent to me, if someone said if I 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:03.720 didn't know as well, like I was like, how do 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:05.920 you know where I am? And how do you know 0:09:05.960 --> 0:09:09.040 that I love dicks? Like, but you'd be weirded out 0:09:09.080 --> 0:09:11.599 because someone's found your dress nothing more festive than a 0:09:11.679 --> 0:09:14.040 kilo of glitter dis Yeah, look, I mean we can 0:09:14.120 --> 0:09:16.960 unpack all of like the more sordid side of these. 0:09:17.360 --> 0:09:20.480 Nothing happened, like, nothing came of it. I didn't feel 0:09:20.520 --> 0:09:25.360 threatened that somebody found my address. It arrived in daylight. Yeah, look, 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:27.480 I've I've kind of moved past it. The most annoying 0:09:27.480 --> 0:09:29.440 thing was just that there were dicks everywhere. It was 0:09:29.480 --> 0:09:31.360 like Mardi Gras, but in my bedroom. 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:33.200 And you never got anything else again. 0:09:33.160 --> 0:09:35.520 No, that was it one box of dicks, done and 0:09:35.600 --> 0:09:37.320 dust and well played anonymous human. 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:40.200 Well played. Anyways, I feel like that is enough. 0:09:40.400 --> 0:09:43.000 Let's get into the questions that we have picked out. 0:09:43.160 --> 0:09:45.080 Britt hit me with question number one. 0:09:45.360 --> 0:09:49.199 Okay, question number one, all right, this is a really 0:09:49.440 --> 0:09:53.240 big one, so I want your full attention. Please, Laura help. 0:09:53.280 --> 0:09:55.760 I'm in a really shitty situation with my parents and 0:09:55.800 --> 0:09:58.160 I don't know how to deal with it. Quick backstory. 0:09:58.240 --> 0:10:01.199 I had a great childhood. My parents always provided for us. 0:10:01.320 --> 0:10:03.480 I thought the world of them. I consider them to 0:10:03.520 --> 0:10:08.520 be really good, respectful people. Space until now space. I 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:10.400 wanted to put the space in for dramatic effects because 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:13.680 she separated this by paragraphs. I am thirty, I have 0:10:13.760 --> 0:10:16.080 a partner, a two year old and another baby on 0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:19.120 the way. My partner and I have very similar values 0:10:19.120 --> 0:10:21.240 and ideas on how we want to raise our kids. 0:10:21.760 --> 0:10:23.600 Over the past couple of years, I have come to 0:10:23.640 --> 0:10:27.600 realize that my parents are actually very, very racist. And 0:10:27.720 --> 0:10:31.160 I don't mean casually or unconsciously. They are just flat 0:10:31.200 --> 0:10:34.480 out racist. This does not sit well with me at all. 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:36.880 I have zero tolerance for it, and I have brought 0:10:36.920 --> 0:10:39.480 it up with them multiple times at gatherings they just 0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:41.720 don't seem to care about my opinion, and it always 0:10:41.760 --> 0:10:45.320 becomes a me problem. I'm a fully grown adult, capable 0:10:45.360 --> 0:10:47.800 of making my own decisions and can choose to block 0:10:47.840 --> 0:10:50.360 out the things they say. But my concern is that 0:10:50.400 --> 0:10:52.600 they say these things around my two year old son, 0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:55.960 who is now confidently speaking and learning about the world. 0:10:56.600 --> 0:10:59.080 I don't want their opinions to influence him in any way. 0:10:59.200 --> 0:11:01.080 They only see him once a week, but it's still 0:11:01.200 --> 0:11:04.119 enough to have me pretty worried. To put it into perspective, 0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:06.560 if they were my friends, I would have won hundred 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:09.880 percent cut them off by now. But because their family, 0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:12.440 I feel like I make a lot of exceptions for them. 0:11:12.600 --> 0:11:14.560 I want my kids to have a relationship with them, 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:18.640 for sure, but not if they become such a bad influence. 0:11:19.000 --> 0:11:21.640 Now my question is it fair for me to start 0:11:21.679 --> 0:11:25.280 distancing myself from them over something like this. I'm fully 0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:27.680 prepared to not have them in my life as I 0:11:27.679 --> 0:11:30.400 don't provide anything positive to it, and more often than not, 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:33.200 my interactions with them are negative and it's taking a 0:11:33.200 --> 0:11:35.439 toll on my mental health. I really worry about the 0:11:35.440 --> 0:11:38.240 impacts of my children too. A similar thing happened when 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:41.240 I confronted them about smoking around my child. It didn't 0:11:41.320 --> 0:11:43.080 end well, and I was the one made out to 0:11:43.080 --> 0:11:45.960 be a horrible, selfish person. What do I do? Am 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:47.720 I allowed to cut them off? Do I stay? Do 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:49.560 I talk about it? Or I just do I just 0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:50.120 ignore it? 0:11:50.400 --> 0:11:53.240 Oh, I'm fike sad for you. That's such a shitty 0:11:53.240 --> 0:11:56.280 situation to be in, you know, I think it's interesting. 0:11:56.320 --> 0:11:59.480 I think as we get older, our parents can either 0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:02.640 impress us or we can become really disillusioned with who 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:05.560 we thought they were or what totally their outlook is 0:12:05.559 --> 0:12:07.240 on the world, you know, as we kind of form 0:12:07.320 --> 0:12:09.880 more independent ideas and as we show up to the 0:12:09.920 --> 0:12:12.720 world as the world currently is. I think that you 0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:15.160 know a lot of parents, and I think I don't 0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:16.840 think that this woman would be alone. I think that 0:12:16.880 --> 0:12:19.400 there's a lot of people who would see their parents 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:23.800 or their grandparents as being racist and it being partly 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:26.320 a condition of the world that they grew up in. 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:28.560 But that doesn't make that an excuse and nor does 0:12:28.600 --> 0:12:31.320 that make that acceptable. And I think if you're feeling 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:34.679 this strongly about it, then you absolutely I mean, firstly, 0:12:34.760 --> 0:12:36.559 you don't need us to tell you that you can 0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:39.880 make whatever decisions you see fit for your own children 0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:41.840 like that, if you need to protect your children and 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:44.199 do what's right for your children, you don't need us 0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:46.400 to tell you that that's an acceptable thing as a 0:12:46.440 --> 0:12:49.160 parent to do. Is there ways that you can work 0:12:49.200 --> 0:12:52.200 around this? Maybe, but I think it comes down to 0:12:52.280 --> 0:12:54.760 having a really honest conversation with your parents about what 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:57.760 it is that upsets you. And if they don't want 0:12:57.760 --> 0:12:59.480 to accept that, or if they gas at you, or 0:12:59.480 --> 0:13:01.360 if they say that there's no issue or that their 0:13:01.440 --> 0:13:04.040 views are not problematic, then that leaves you with a 0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:07.160 pretty hard choice to make. And if I was in 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:10.679 your position, I would be putting my children first, because 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:13.720 I would expect that after I had at least explained 0:13:13.720 --> 0:13:16.000 to my parents why it upset me so much the 0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:18.040 way that they were behaving in the things that they said, 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:20.240 I would expect them to at least take that on 0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:22.360 board and try and implement some changes. 0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:25.320 I agree with everything you just said, and ultimately you're 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:27.360 going to do what's best for your children. But it 0:13:27.360 --> 0:13:29.480 makes me sad to think you've said that you want 0:13:29.520 --> 0:13:31.160 your children to have a relationship with your parents, but 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:33.320 you said you're just also easy to cut them off. 0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:35.560 I do think there is a way, and this is 0:13:35.600 --> 0:13:37.680 we can only go off what you've told us. Obviously, 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:39.800 we don't know what other stresses you have in your 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:41.640 relationship and what you guys have been through, but from 0:13:41.679 --> 0:13:44.520 what you've said, there are definitely ways that you can 0:13:44.600 --> 0:13:47.880 keep them having a relationship your parents and your children 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:51.160 and also monitor what's happening. And maybe that just means 0:13:51.240 --> 0:13:54.240 that I think to start with, you definitely have the conversation. 0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:56.400 Like Lauri said, you say like I'm not happy with this, 0:13:56.520 --> 0:13:59.280 I really appreciate If you don't do this while they're around, 0:13:59.320 --> 0:14:01.040 it means a lot. If they're going to ignore you, 0:14:01.080 --> 0:14:03.280 then there's not much you can do other than take 0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:06.200 control of the situation and either take your kids away 0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:08.920 from it or be there with them. What I would 0:14:08.960 --> 0:14:11.559 suggest you try to do is after you've had the conversation, 0:14:11.840 --> 0:14:13.760 maybe if you're saying that they're only seeing them once 0:14:13.760 --> 0:14:16.680 a week as it is, maybe you all just hang 0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:18.599 out together instead of dropping the kids off for a 0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:21.520 day and letting them have their alone time. Maybe you're 0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:23.120 just there with them and you all hang out, so 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:26.240 you're watching what's happening and they're still developing this situation 0:14:26.320 --> 0:14:29.960 with their grandparents, but you're aware and you're overseeing what's happening. 0:14:30.200 --> 0:14:32.640 I know that I didn't really have a relationship with 0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:36.960 my grandparents growing up. I didn't have grandfathers on either side, 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:40.600 and my both grandmothers they lived six hours seven hour 0:14:40.680 --> 0:14:42.640 drive away, so we didn't have a close relationship. And 0:14:42.680 --> 0:14:45.600 I remember always wishing I did. I wish that I 0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:47.560 was like all my other friends, I had this really 0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:50.480 close bond. So I think there is a part of 0:14:50.520 --> 0:14:53.600 it that's pretty important if you can maintain that bond, 0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:54.960 but only if you can do it in a way 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:57.360 that you're happy with. Ultimately, you're in charge of bringing 0:14:57.400 --> 0:14:59.960 your children up the way that you see fit totally. 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:03.160 Have you ever had to end a friendship or distance 0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:07.000 yourself from someone who's a family member because their views 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:10.000 or their racism came a real point of contention in 0:15:10.040 --> 0:15:10.840 your relationship. 0:15:11.120 --> 0:15:15.520 I actually haven't. I've had some heated conversations before with 0:15:15.760 --> 0:15:18.880 family members where we've we've highly disagreed on something, but 0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:21.600 we always listen to each other speak, and we try 0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:24.280 to listen to why we have that reason, and we 0:15:24.360 --> 0:15:26.280 try to educate each other. I'm really lucky that The 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:29.360 way that my family works is if we're proven wrong 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:32.120 or we take something on board that someone else has 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:34.120 said with a lot of research and a lot of heart, like, 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:36.680 we will listen to that. But we've definitely had arguments 0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:39.040 about it with extended family. But I'm lucky that I've 0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:40.640 never had anything where I've like, I have to cut 0:15:40.640 --> 0:15:42.040 you off. It's never been that extreme. 0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:44.560 Yeah, I guess like I've never ever had to cut 0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:48.920 someone off either. My grandparents, who were so fundamentally in 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:52.520 raising me, like I honestly, my grandma and my grandfather 0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:55.560 were parental figures in my life. They had some pretty 0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:58.560 problematic views, and when I was younger, I didn't really 0:15:58.600 --> 0:16:01.720 realize that their views were problems, but as I became older, 0:16:01.840 --> 0:16:04.760 I was like, oh, backing Pauline Hanson, and I know 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:07.360 that for my grandfather. So just a bit of context 0:16:07.360 --> 0:16:11.080 for this. My grandfather was born in Italy. He immigrated 0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:12.040 here when he. 0:16:12.040 --> 0:16:12.640 Was a child. 0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:15.360 He was severely bullied when he was a child and 0:16:15.440 --> 0:16:18.880 was made to assimilate, so he completely just forgot about 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:21.160 his Italian heritage. He never went back to Italy, he 0:16:21.240 --> 0:16:23.320 refused to speak Italian. He never taught any of his 0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:27.080 children Italian. We never learned Italian, and he would say 0:16:27.160 --> 0:16:30.440 he was a blue collar worker Australian. And I think 0:16:30.480 --> 0:16:33.840 that his level of racism came from this idea of like, well, 0:16:33.880 --> 0:16:37.440 I assimilated, so I expect other people to assimilate. And 0:16:37.720 --> 0:16:40.080 it was very problematic for me. We would have quite 0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:42.560 a few debates because he saw the world very differently 0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:44.880 to me. Now in saying that my grandfather passed away 0:16:44.920 --> 0:16:49.200 in his nineties last year. We were still incredibly close, 0:16:49.480 --> 0:16:51.640 but there were some things that we just couldn't speak 0:16:51.640 --> 0:16:53.640 about because we wouldn't see eye to eye on them, 0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:56.840 and it would upset him that I saw things so differently. 0:16:56.840 --> 0:16:58.920 It would upset him that I was like, stop fucking 0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:02.920 voting for Pauline Hanson, and it would upset me because 0:17:03.000 --> 0:17:05.120 I don't see the world in that way and we're 0:17:05.200 --> 0:17:07.560 very very different people when it comes to that. But 0:17:08.400 --> 0:17:11.399 I think that that is probably my experience with my 0:17:11.440 --> 0:17:14.440 grandparents is probably something that is shared by a lot 0:17:14.480 --> 0:17:16.720 of people, and I think that just because that experience 0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:18.919 is probably common doesn't mean that it's okay. But in 0:17:18.960 --> 0:17:21.680 the same instance, I wasn't going to cut my grandparents out, 0:17:21.720 --> 0:17:24.160 who raise me and who I have this incredible bond with. 0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:27.160 The difference in this situation is the fact that you're 0:17:27.160 --> 0:17:30.600 saying you don't get anything positive from the relationship and 0:17:30.680 --> 0:17:33.560 that their views and the way that they behave is 0:17:33.640 --> 0:17:35.639 so much of an issue that you're worried about it 0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:38.840 having an impact or affecting the mental health. 0:17:38.720 --> 0:17:39.359 Of your child. 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:42.200 If that's truly a deep concern of yours, and if 0:17:42.240 --> 0:17:45.040 you are walking away from these interactions with your parents 0:17:45.080 --> 0:17:49.960 feeling like they provide nothing positive, then I absolutely think 0:17:50.000 --> 0:17:52.680 that you have to make an executive decision and create 0:17:52.720 --> 0:17:55.160 a safe space for your children, a space where they're 0:17:55.160 --> 0:17:58.239 not being raised thinking that those viewpoints are acceptable. And so, 0:17:58.320 --> 0:18:00.879 like you said, Britt, you know, when your children are 0:18:00.880 --> 0:18:03.040 seeing their grandparents, you could be there, and that way 0:18:03.080 --> 0:18:05.240 you have a better understanding of what the conversations are 0:18:05.240 --> 0:18:08.560