Speaker 1: A good pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn.
Speaker 2: Bady your work, our windows that my worris in the dust,
Speaker 2: only good zabs all day.
Speaker 3: I don't much, but yeah, I'm not our big and
Speaker 3: what I want.
Speaker 4: It don't matter where. This is the pickup.
Speaker 1: Happy Friday afternoon, everybody. It's the pickup with Britt Hockley
Speaker 1: and Laura Burn.
Speaker 5: And how exciting. I often don't have very exciting things
Speaker 5: on the weekend.
Speaker 1: You have a very exciting thing this weekend, so do you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you're in a box and I'm in the club seats.
Speaker 5: Oh, Laura and I are both going to the dual
Speaker 5: liper concept.
Speaker 4: You're going tonight.
Speaker 3: I'm going tonight with my sister.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I'm going tomorrow in a suite.
Speaker 1: We bought our tickets, like the good supporting patrons that
Speaker 1: we are.
Speaker 3: And Brittany I.
Speaker 4: Did get invited.
Speaker 3: You got invited and she's going to be in a box. Sweet,
Speaker 3: you are invited? Me super jealous.
Speaker 1: No, you didn't get invited by Jua Lipa stopped trying
Speaker 1: to spread these rumors that aren't true.
Speaker 4: Yes I did.
Speaker 5: She DMed me and I'd love to have you sing
Speaker 5: with me, and I said, I wouldn't want to take
Speaker 5: that attention away from you, but I'll come to the box.
Speaker 5: To be fair, you got invited to the box as well.
Speaker 4: You didn't want to come.
Speaker 3: No, that's not true.
Speaker 4: My tongue, Oh my god, you literally I just watched
Speaker 4: you bite your tongue. You'd sent me that was actually stuck.
Speaker 4: Funny for someone that talks for a living. Your tongue
Speaker 4: just didn't go back into your.
Speaker 3: Say that what just happened? I had a malfunction. Oh
Speaker 3: my god.
Speaker 1: I'm going with my sister to draw ALB and she
Speaker 1: bought the tickets for my birthday, so.
Speaker 3: I wasn't going to ditch her to go into a box.
Speaker 4: You could have gone two nights. I put your tongue.
Speaker 3: I'm so excited. That's what it is, brit Laura.
Speaker 1: I think it's a bit too early to tell, or
Speaker 1: only a couple of days in, but I think I
Speaker 1: have cracked the code for parents out there who want
Speaker 1: to get their kids off the.
Speaker 3: Dummy, the dummy fairy. The dummy fairy so hit us
Speaker 3: a few days ago.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, my daughter, she's four years old, Lola. There
Speaker 1: has never been a child that's more obsessed with their
Speaker 1: dummy than Lola. Like. It has been an obsession since
Speaker 1: the day she was born. And she was a very,
Speaker 1: very very fussy baby. She didn't sleep in a cot,
Speaker 1: She only slept in a carrier with me, sitting upright
Speaker 1: with her on me. And that was the first six
Speaker 1: weeks of her life. Like, it was hard work. And
Speaker 1: the only thing in her, like you know, little four
Speaker 1: years of life that has ever brought her comfort is
Speaker 1: her dummy. She will happily take a dummy over being cuddled.
Speaker 1: She will take her dummy over her dad, like, she
Speaker 1: will take her dummy over anything.
Speaker 3: She loves it so much.
Speaker 1: If you ask her her favorite thing, she will say
Speaker 1: her dummy. So we've tried quite a few times getting
Speaker 1: her off it. You know, she turned four in February,
Speaker 1: So we tried when she was two. We tried when
Speaker 1: she was three.
Speaker 3: You remember, it.
Speaker 4: Was like I was rough man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like she turned into a dementor she
Speaker 1: my contraception. She screamed NonStop for six weeks. Anyway, we've
Speaker 1: gotten to a point where we're like, she's four years old.
Speaker 3: This is getting embarrassing. Now she's going to school next year.
Speaker 3: She's got a boyfriend, she's moving out of home. We've
Speaker 3: got to get her the dummy university.
Speaker 1: So we decided it was time to implement the dummy Fairy. Now,
Speaker 1: the dummy Fairy seems to do different things in different households,
Speaker 1: but in our household we have had four nights now
Speaker 1: of no crying, no dummy huge and it has been
Speaker 1: a raving success.
Speaker 5: Well, then tell us the people in the car that
Speaker 5: might be wanting the dummy Fairy to come to their house,
Speaker 5: what did your dummy fairy do?
Speaker 1: You've got a caller. She's got to call the dummy
Speaker 1: Fairy on the phone. You gotta give he a ring
Speaker 1: because she needs to know when you're ready for her
Speaker 1: to come.
Speaker 5: She doesn't, dumb fairy.
Speaker 3: It's not like Santa Claus.
Speaker 4: Change that now.
Speaker 3: And it's not like they're Easter money. They don't have it.
Speaker 1: She doesn't have a set date. She'll come when you're
Speaker 1: ready for her to come. So you make sure that
Speaker 1: you've set the date. You've got to planned down on
Speaker 1: a calendar, you do the countdown. It's really exciting. The
Speaker 1: dummy Fairy coming is an exciting.
Speaker 3: Thing like Christmas.
Speaker 1: So it's like you're going to get a present from
Speaker 1: the dummy fairy for giving away your dummies. And yeah,
Speaker 1: we replaced it. So we made like a little ceremony
Speaker 1: about it. We got all the dummies to get we
Speaker 1: put them outside.
Speaker 3: There was five. We collected them around the house.
Speaker 4: She's been stashing them like under pillows.
Speaker 1: Well it's just in case we lose one, o caase
Speaker 1: she doesn't have five at a time. So we put
Speaker 1: them all outside. We made a little letter to the
Speaker 1: dummy Fairy. I told her that, you know, the dummy
Speaker 1: Fairy is going to take them to castle. And the
Speaker 1: story just kept getting bigger and more elaborate. But Lola
Speaker 1: got really excited about it, and she knew that she
Speaker 1: was going to get rewarded for giving away something that
Speaker 1: was really important. But it really was the cutest little thing.
Speaker 1: I'll play you.
Speaker 3: This, hey, Lola, who's coming tonight?
Speaker 1: There is Are you ready to say bye bye bye
Speaker 1: bye dummies? Giving them a kiss by ball by bye dummies?
Speaker 3: So she made out with that last watch.
Speaker 4: I really didn't want to get that one out.
Speaker 3: She kissed him awkodbye. We put them in a bowl.
Speaker 1: I put her to bed and I gave her a
Speaker 1: present from me and Dad for her to go to
Speaker 1: bed with that night, because I was like, I know
Speaker 1: you're going to be really sad. He's a little toy
Speaker 1: from Ummy and Daddy for you to cuddle when you
Speaker 1: feel sad.
Speaker 3: And she woke up in the morning, she got her presence.
Speaker 1: We made it like a really special time and she
Speaker 1: was so stoked. So I thought, Okay, day one that
Speaker 1: was going to be easy. Day two is gonna be hard.
Speaker 1: Day two is gonna suck. Anyway, Day two rolled around
Speaker 1: completely fine.
Speaker 3: She said one thing.
Speaker 1: To me where I put it to bed and she
Speaker 1: had it like her two little toys that she got,
Speaker 1: the one from the dummy Fairy and the one from me,
Speaker 1: and she goes, mom, I'm thinking And I was like,
Speaker 1: what are you thinking about it?
Speaker 3: She goes, I'm thinking a.
Speaker 1: Dummy would be pretty nice, and I was like, sweetheart,
Speaker 1: we don't have any. The dummy fairy took them, and
Speaker 1: she goes, I know that's why I said, I'm just
Speaker 1: thinking it.
Speaker 3: I'm not doing it. I'm thinking it. She's just more
Speaker 3: self aware now. And that was it.
Speaker 1: Like I genuinely thought it was going to be a
Speaker 1: horror show. And it's been four days now, and it
Speaker 1: has just been weirdly amazing.
Speaker 3: It's because.
Speaker 5: It's like I've got kids, It's because she's twenty five.
Speaker 3: It's because this.
Speaker 5: Time she came to the conclude she's old enough to
Speaker 5: come to the conclusion of making it herself. And she
Speaker 5: I think just because she doesn't feel like you guys
Speaker 5: are taking something from her, she made the decision like
Speaker 5: she's like, cool, I'm ready and.
Speaker 4: I understand what this exchange is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think that that's it. I think it's
Speaker 1: the secret in the thoughts, right, like, my secret is.
Speaker 4: Not to let your kids still have dumby.
Speaker 3: No, you're not shamey.
Speaker 5: I'm not shaming you, but I don't want the listeners
Speaker 5: to be like, hey, Lauris said, the secret is to
Speaker 5: keep a dummy to your face.
Speaker 3: Sounds for shaming.
Speaker 1: I think it's about letting the kids have a little
Speaker 1: bit of sense of control and feeling as though you're
Speaker 1: not just taking away from them, but that it's something
Speaker 1: to be excited about when the dummy fairy comes that
Speaker 1: even though they're losing that thing they want, they feed
Speaker 1: off how you react to something. And the other times
Speaker 1: it's been super stressful, it's been like a countdown and
Speaker 1: then it's like, Okay, no more dummy, and it felt
Speaker 1: like a punishment, whereas this felt like a reward. I
Speaker 1: know I'm too early to tell you exactly how it's
Speaker 1: going to go down, but it has been surprisingly amazing
Speaker 1: so far. I'm happy for you, and I'm actually more
Speaker 1: happy for Lola same and I'm happy for our dental
Speaker 1: bills for the future.
Speaker 4: The vinears she doesn't need to get.
Speaker 5: Now, we've been talking about them a bit of.
Speaker 4: A content subject.
Speaker 5: I would say here in the break at the pickup,
Speaker 5: manifestation that idea of like putting out to the universe
Speaker 5: what you want and it bringing you everything that you
Speaker 5: need and everything you desire. I personally believe in manifestation,
Speaker 5: and Laura, you sort of caught.
Speaker 4: Bullshit on it when I.
Speaker 3: Talk about it. I don't caught bullshit on it. I
Speaker 3: just don't.
Speaker 1: I don't necessarily believe that, like thinking good things will
Speaker 1: make good things happen. And I've watched The Secret, I've
Speaker 1: read the book, and like, I don't know if you
Speaker 1: guys know what I'm talking about, but The Secret is
Speaker 1: like the there was a very big book and TV
Speaker 1: series that came out or It was like one episode
Speaker 1: that came out quite a few years ago all around manifesting,
Speaker 1: and the essence of that was kind of like, think
Speaker 1: good things and good things will happen. Think about money
Speaker 1: raining down on you and you'll get really wealthy. And
Speaker 1: I was just for me, it's just too simple.
Speaker 4: That's not what manifestation is.
Speaker 3: Okay, well, another doing it wrong? Why is the money
Speaker 3: not raining down on me?
Speaker 4: That explains a lot that checks out.
Speaker 5: Let me give you this is not an example of manifestation,
Speaker 5: but this is what started the conversation, the idea of
Speaker 5: sometimes willing something into the universe. But it doesn't always
Speaker 5: have to be positive. It could be something that you've
Speaker 5: thought about or been talking about or putting that energy
Speaker 5: out so many times, so it can be negative.
Speaker 4: But the other day, when if you've.
Speaker 5: Been following along, my dog Delilah got really really sick.
Speaker 5: But that morning, driving to work with a work colleague,
Speaker 5: I was like, do you know what's crazy? I was like,
Speaker 5: my dog.
Speaker 4: Delilah, she's four years old. I said.
Speaker 5: She has never been sick. I have never had to
Speaker 5: take her to the bet, She's never had anything wrong
Speaker 5: with her. She's been the perfect dog and my friend
Speaker 5: was like, yeah, that's amazing. Then I got home from
Speaker 5: work that day and Delilah, I've never seen her more
Speaker 5: sick in my life.
Speaker 3: She was not manifesting. No, that's not a coincidence.
Speaker 4: It's not.
Speaker 5: But it is a form of willing something into the
Speaker 5: universe and it's not manifesting. But it started the conversation.
Speaker 5: And then producer, Gracie, you were saying you did something
Speaker 5: crazy the other day too.
Speaker 6: Yeah, literally yesterday I was talking to someone in the office.
Speaker 6: I was like, I've never been asked to do jury
Speaker 6: duty and I'd kind of love to do it. And
Speaker 6: then I got home that day to a letter telling
Speaker 6: me that I'm officially the jury duty.
Speaker 3: Rolls crazy. Hey, everyone, I'd really like to win the lotto.
Speaker 4: It doesn't work like that.
Speaker 3: I just to me, I understand.
Speaker 1: What you're saying, and I understand that there's situations where
Speaker 1: people like, don't jinx it, don't say that, or it
Speaker 1: might happen, yeah, a personal jinx.
Speaker 3: But I think that this is a coincidence.
Speaker 1: More so with those sorts of situations, I know that
Speaker 1: it's very unlikely. The likelihood of that happening might be
Speaker 1: one and a bazillion. However, like horrible coincidences and great
Speaker 1: coincidences happen all the time. So I'm just kind of
Speaker 1: think that sometimes we look for things that validate and
Speaker 1: like reinforce this idea that we have more control than
Speaker 1: we do.
Speaker 4: But don't think you can speak something into an existence.
Speaker 5: No, Okay, I did a proper manifestation course years ago.
Speaker 4: I spent some time with a monk, learnt so much stuff.
Speaker 4: Then I started.
Speaker 5: Actually putting it into practice years ago, and I don't
Speaker 5: do it so much anymore. I believe I manifested my
Speaker 5: fiance Ben when I did this manifestation course. I wrote
Speaker 5: down in my notes because a big part of it
Speaker 5: is it's not just writing down what you want, but
Speaker 5: it's then consciously thinking it.
Speaker 4: You still work towards it. You still it's the putting what.
Speaker 5: You want into existence, like you still have to work
Speaker 5: and put efforting.
Speaker 1: This is the thing that I think is the very
Speaker 1: clear determiner of Like when you say you can't speak
Speaker 1: things into existence, I don't think you can speak things
Speaker 1: into existence.
Speaker 3: I think you can have an intention.
Speaker 1: You can write that intention down and then you can
Speaker 1: focus all your goals to align.
Speaker 3: To that intention.
Speaker 1: But that to me is not just like spontaneously going I.
Speaker 2: Want to go on a holiday to the Mail Dives
Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden you win one and
Speaker 2: you're there, Like, I don't think that that's what happens. Well,
Speaker 2: I wrote, I think you've got a book the ticket yourself,
Speaker 2: and then get your ass to the Mount Dives and
Speaker 2: then wow, that's a coincidence.
Speaker 5: I wrote down years ago, thank you for giving me
Speaker 5: my partner B because your name's Brittany.
Speaker 4: No, my brother initial, my fiancee's name is Ben. I
Speaker 4: manifested Ben yearsgo.
Speaker 5: I don't care what anyone says that was the manifestation
Speaker 5: I am.
Speaker 3: This hasn't convinced me.
Speaker 5: You just said you sort of thought you manifested your
Speaker 5: Maddie Jay, your husband.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'm different to that though.
Speaker 1: When I say, I don't mean manifested in the way
Speaker 1: of like thinking it.
Speaker 3: Then it happened.
Speaker 1: You guys know, we had a moment where we met prior,
Speaker 1: so we had like a real moment in chemistry prior
Speaker 1: to being on the Bachelor, and then I think it
Speaker 1: was a massive coincidence that he was there and that
Speaker 1: he was the person who was the bachelor. But I
Speaker 1: think it was like the fact that I was in there,
Speaker 1: that I was like very intented in staying that.
Speaker 3: I very much in my head was like I'm going
Speaker 3: to end up with this person.
Speaker 1: That would be my definition of saying okay, I manifested
Speaker 1: that in happening because but in the same way, I'm like,
Speaker 1: is it or isn't it.
Speaker 3: I just like I set my eyes on a goal
Speaker 3: and I achieved my goal, and in that case, the
Speaker 3: goal was my husband, and here we are. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I think I am.
Speaker 4: I think I am, But that's not just a mystic,
Speaker 4: it's synic.
Speaker 1: It's not to say that I'm not and can't be
Speaker 1: positive about these things. And I'm sure that there are
Speaker 1: so many people who have really incredibly positive manifestation stories.
Speaker 1: I think the reason why I feel so unsure about
Speaker 1: it is because there's so many people who have really
Speaker 1: challenging lives, really horrible things happen, and I don't think
Speaker 1: that those things happen because they're not good enough at
Speaker 1: manifesting themselves out of it.
Speaker 4: Of course not.
Speaker 1: So that's why I'm I kind of it's not a
Speaker 1: good enough solution for me, if that makes sense.
Speaker 4: Well, it's not. It's not my solution for world peace.
Speaker 4: That's not what the conversation is.
Speaker 3: Here today anyway. But I'm sorry, that's serious. Great.
Speaker 1: I have a question for you, hear me. Have you
Speaker 1: ever been to couples therapy?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 5: I have been to therapy, and my partner has been
Speaker 5: to therapy, but we've not been at the same time together.
Speaker 4: It was an individual thing.
Speaker 1: What was the reasoning for not wanting to go to
Speaker 1: Like did you need to go together for.
Speaker 3: Your relationship extent?
Speaker 4: We should have?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 3: And then and then why they just.
Speaker 5: Didn't want to They were going for something else as well,
Speaker 5: And I said, we obviously had our own problems, and
Speaker 5: I was like, hey, we should go together sometimes I
Speaker 5: think'd be really great.
Speaker 1: And he was like, no, no, hang on, have you
Speaker 1: I have been to couples therapy with an X?
Speaker 4: I didn't know that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I went to two sessions with an ex boyfriend
Speaker 1: and I had a really tricky experience because he had
Speaker 1: cheated on me if times, actually a lot of times,
Speaker 1: and he was very narcissistic with his behavior. And I
Speaker 1: found that in the therapy session he managed to victimize
Speaker 1: himself and talk about all the reasons why he can't
Speaker 1: be faithful and it's so hard for him, and life
Speaker 1: is blah blah blah. And I found myself just sitting
Speaker 1: there feeling as though I was somehow being made to
Speaker 1: not be the supportive enough personal It was a bizarre experience, honestly,
Speaker 1: and I think for you, not good for me. But
Speaker 1: look the reason why we're talking about this. A couple
Speaker 1: of weeks ago, we were speaking to Tara Pavlovich. She
Speaker 1: was advocating for couples to go to therapy and talking
Speaker 1: about how it had been a life saver for her
Speaker 1: and her relationship with her husband. But I came across
Speaker 1: an article which was talking about couple therapy, firstly, how
Speaker 1: expensive it can be, how it's not accessible to everyone,
Speaker 1: and so how a lot of couples are now turning
Speaker 1: to chat GPT for their relationship advice and relationship therapy.
Speaker 5: My first thought when I hear that is that that
Speaker 5: is wild that you would go and put your relationship
Speaker 5: in the hands of a robot.
Speaker 2: Like to me, they've never been in a relationship, You're
Speaker 2: a phone, Like, what experience do you have?
Speaker 4: You have a hard drive, not a hard drive. Oh sorry,
Speaker 4: that was off the spot, off the car.
Speaker 3: Was really a free plan.
Speaker 4: That's okay, But my first thought is that that's insane.
Speaker 5: Having said that, I do wonder if there is a
Speaker 5: part of it where people might feel more inclined to
Speaker 5: go or might feel more inclined to be really honest
Speaker 5: to get like an unbiased opinion from someone that's not human.
Speaker 5: I think sometimes people feel like a bit of shame
Speaker 5: and a bit shy and bit reserved when they're actually
Speaker 5: speaking to another human, like that's gonna be laced in judgment,
Speaker 5: even though we know psychologists and therapists don't have that judgment.
Speaker 5: People find it hard sometimes to talk to other people.
Speaker 1: And also, you know, you go to a psychologist and
Speaker 1: you expect them to be unbiased, but they're people. People
Speaker 1: can be biased. And I will also always feel like
Speaker 1: I have to like be careful around my experience because
Speaker 1: I think it was a very unique one and I
Speaker 1: was dealing with a very unique type of partner at
Speaker 1: the time, which was like the issue I had is
Speaker 1: that I kind of sat there and felt like it
Speaker 1: was all I was in a bit of a twilight
Speaker 1: zone with how it had managed to be flipped on me.
Speaker 3: Do you think because I'm not the problem clearly, got
Speaker 3: do you think that.
Speaker 4: Chat GPT can be biased?
Speaker 1: Well, this is the thing, right, There was a couple
Speaker 1: who has been talking about using it. So his name's Marcus,
Speaker 1: her name is Brie, and they didn't want to go
Speaker 1: to an actual therapist or to a psychologist, and so
Speaker 1: they've been using chat GPT. They said that the responses
Speaker 1: from the AI therapist are soft and non judgmental, and
Speaker 1: also that it's allowed them to kind of air out
Speaker 1: some of the things that they have had wrong in
Speaker 1: their relationships and get an unbiased perspective, even if that perspective.
Speaker 3: Is not from a human.
Speaker 5: Let me ask, hey, Siri, can chat GPT be biased?
Speaker 7: Hi? I aim to be as unbiased and neutral as possible. However,
Speaker 7: since I'm trained on a wide range of data from
Speaker 7: the Internet, there might be occasional biases and the information
Speaker 7: I provide I always strive to give balanced and fair responses.
Speaker 1: My worry with this is is like you go to
Speaker 1: a therapist, a person who's able to mediate and actually
Speaker 1: like give advice, but give advice based on like the
Speaker 1: emotion and the empathy that is required, whereas like chat
Speaker 1: GPT doesn't have the ability to do that. It also
Speaker 1: doesn't have the ability to monitor the emotional outcome of
Speaker 1: its patients or the people who are seeking that advice.
Speaker 3: I just I feel like there are a lot of things.
Speaker 1: That chat GPT are very good at, and it can
Speaker 1: fill a lot of gaps.
Speaker 3: I don't think therapy is one of them.
Speaker 5: Yeah, let's not replace psychologists and therapists just yet.
Speaker 3: We need or GPS because I think that's also pretty important.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we need them all.
Speaker 3: Well, let's get out of here.
Speaker 4: That's us done for the day.