WEBVTT - These are the top ways we regulate our nervous systems ft. Coopa 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.160 I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:06.600 land on which this episode is being recorded, the Komboo 0:00:06.720 --> 0:00:10.560 Marry people. We pay our respects to elders past, present 0:00:10.600 --> 0:00:14.320 and emerging and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and 0:00:14.400 --> 0:00:22.680 Torres Strait Islander peoples. Today I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson, 0:00:22.800 --> 0:00:30.240 and this is the Rise and Conquer podcast. This is 0:00:30.280 --> 0:00:33.199 the podcast where we ch have mindset, self development and 0:00:33.280 --> 0:00:37.199 becoming your higher self mix soon with a lot of laughs, 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:40.360 plus behind the scenes of my life running two businesses 0:00:40.479 --> 0:00:43.839 and being among Think of us as the perfect combo 0:00:43.960 --> 0:00:47.479 of brunch with your besties mixed with self development. No 0:00:47.560 --> 0:00:49.879 matter where you are in your journey, We're here to 0:00:49.920 --> 0:00:53.840 help you be curious, pull yourself out, and embrace radical 0:00:53.960 --> 0:00:58.480 self awareness. If you're ready to get into the driver's 0:00:58.520 --> 0:01:01.720 seat of your own life, stop letting life pass you by, 0:01:02.400 --> 0:01:11.520 then you're in the right place. Hello everybody, and welcome 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:14.080 back to the potty. Today we have an episode with 0:01:14.280 --> 0:01:18.200 Cooper and we are chatting about different ways to regulate 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:22.240 your nervous system. This is something that me and Cooper 0:01:22.319 --> 0:01:28.039 have both been working on since last year because we 0:01:28.400 --> 0:01:34.280 just noticed how much our like subconscious beliefs. We're running 0:01:34.280 --> 0:01:36.840 our nervous system and we were feeling like burnt out. 0:01:36.920 --> 0:01:41.640 We're feeling triggered, you know, highly emotional, and it's been 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:43.920 a whole journey for us. So you know, if you're 0:01:43.959 --> 0:01:47.200 someone who's super busy, maybe you're already feeling burnt out 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:51.080 and maybe you just like notice sometimes your nervous system 0:01:51.200 --> 0:01:53.320 is just like shot, or you're just like you're not 0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:56.120 feeling good, You're feeling anxious, and you're like, oh my god, 0:01:56.160 --> 0:01:58.000 I just I need to get out of this cycle. 0:01:58.440 --> 0:02:00.920 You're gonna love this episode. So, guys, just a really 0:02:00.960 --> 0:02:05.360 quick announcement. We are having our first Rise app community 0:02:05.360 --> 0:02:09.640 event on the twenty third of March. There are limited spaces. 0:02:09.760 --> 0:02:12.680 There's only fifty spots available, so I won't give too 0:02:12.720 --> 0:02:15.080 much more away because all information is going to be 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:19.240 on socials. Oh my god, I'm so excited. The like 0:02:19.320 --> 0:02:21.400 the run sheet for the event. It's going to be 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:25.240 so magical and I just cannot wait to be there 0:02:25.280 --> 0:02:27.639 with you guys and do this morning. The whole reason 0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:30.079 when you started the app is because I'm just I'm 0:02:30.160 --> 0:02:33.040 craving that community connection. So this is going to be 0:02:33.120 --> 0:02:36.160 like one step deeper and it's going to be incredible. 0:02:36.280 --> 0:02:38.360 I'm so excited, can't wait to meet everyone. 0:02:38.440 --> 0:02:41.680 A tear quickly before we get into the episode Weekly Recommendations. 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:44.880 Just back here with another wrong com tell us more. 0:02:45.280 --> 0:02:48.679 It's called Anyone But You and it has Sydney Sweeney 0:02:48.720 --> 0:02:52.040 and Glenn Powell and I adore that man ob set. 0:02:52.160 --> 0:02:54.200 It's beautiful, the fucking best movie ever. 0:02:54.400 --> 0:02:57.040 It is such a great movie. It's based on like 0:02:57.200 --> 0:02:59.520 an old Shakespeare thing too, so if you're a bit 0:02:59.560 --> 0:02:59.799 of a. 0:02:59.720 --> 0:03:01.080 Nerd, you'll really like it. 0:03:01.120 --> 0:03:01.680 What's your. 0:03:03.320 --> 0:03:05.280 She's currently scrolling through her kidney lab. 0:03:06.400 --> 0:03:09.000 So I'm back with a book wreck, but it's not 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:12.760 a fiction. We're doing nonfiction today. Oh I know, I'm 0:03:12.760 --> 0:03:16.200 shocked myself, me too. So the book is called The 0:03:16.320 --> 0:03:22.840 Awakened Brain by Lisa Miller and is the psychology of spirituality. 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:27.640 That sounds really interesting. So I love books that give 0:03:28.000 --> 0:03:32.000 either like a science backing or just some sort of 0:03:32.160 --> 0:03:35.720 basis for things that you like, you can't quantify. Almost 0:03:35.720 --> 0:03:37.760 like I've read a book ones that all is all 0:03:37.760 --> 0:03:41.920 about like the science of manifesting, where I know manifesting works. 0:03:41.960 --> 0:03:44.360 I preach it and practice it in my life, but 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:48.720 like to have a book being like scientifically manifesting works. 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:51.680 It just like again, it's like great evidence for your 0:03:51.720 --> 0:03:55.480 brain that it's like, yes, I'm you know, my beliefs 0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:57.480 are on point, if that makes sense. So the whole 0:03:57.480 --> 0:04:01.680 book is just basically about, well a captivating look at 0:04:01.720 --> 0:04:05.920 what happens when you're connected to something greater than yourself. 0:04:07.000 --> 0:04:09.520 So it's all about like the science and psychology behind 0:04:09.520 --> 0:04:15.000 spirituality and how it's so connected to so much more 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:18.440 than we think. And so if you're an RNC Galley, 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:20.479 you will love this book. 0:04:20.800 --> 0:04:22.880 I'm that's definitely going on the list. 0:04:23.480 --> 0:04:27.760 I'll read that soon. My list is getting really low. 0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:35.800 All right, let's get into the episode. So Coop, I 0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:39.839 thought we could start the episode with just explaining even 0:04:40.240 --> 0:04:44.440 like what regulating your nervous system is and why we 0:04:44.480 --> 0:04:51.040 need to do it for ourselves. So when we say 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:55.640 regulating your nervous system, we are just talking about you know, 0:04:55.800 --> 0:05:00.479 back in the day, back in the held days, the tribe, 0:05:01.120 --> 0:05:05.440 the good old days and tried days. You know, we 0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:09.880 would see a tiger and we would get that response 0:05:10.040 --> 0:05:14.200 of like fight or flight, and our body would have 0:05:15.520 --> 0:05:21.599 a physical reaction. So we could either like play dead 0:05:22.000 --> 0:05:25.760 or we could run faster. So you have an actual 0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:30.599 physical response, and that's good, we need that. But what 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:36.400 has happened is in modern life, you know, stresses like 0:05:36.600 --> 0:05:41.000 trying to meet a deadline at work or getting triggered 0:05:41.200 --> 0:05:45.640 by your parents or your partner bring on this physical 0:05:45.720 --> 0:05:50.400 response of your body that puts you into being disregulated. 0:05:50.880 --> 0:05:55.000 And when you're disregulated, your digestive system doesn't work. You 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:59.280 can't use like your full mental capacity and like all 0:05:59.400 --> 0:06:02.520 these respons from your body. So when you regulate your 0:06:02.560 --> 0:06:07.719 nervous system, you're actually able to even to the point 0:06:07.920 --> 0:06:10.640 of the reason why I had to start looking into 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:14.000 regulating my nervous system is because I had a thyroid 0:06:14.080 --> 0:06:18.520 disease and my doctor was like, you need to be 0:06:18.760 --> 0:06:22.799 in a healing state where your body feels safe enough 0:06:22.839 --> 0:06:26.080 to heal. So if you're constantly in this state or 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:29.400 fight or flight, you don't digest food, your body doesn't 0:06:29.400 --> 0:06:32.520 heal itself. There's all these like physioresponsors. 0:06:32.920 --> 0:06:36.640 Yeah, that's attacking. Like that stuff attacks your body in 0:06:36.880 --> 0:06:40.280 numerous ways, and like your skin might be the first one, 0:06:40.360 --> 0:06:44.360 but then it comes out deep organs and who knows, 0:06:44.400 --> 0:06:46.120 like it can be anything. 0:06:46.240 --> 0:06:50.520 And especially if it's a long chronic time, if you're 0:06:50.680 --> 0:06:54.920 constantly in a state of stress, if you constantly feel overstimulated, 0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:58.799 if you're constantly disregulated, your body gets to a point 0:06:58.839 --> 0:07:03.240 where it thinks that's normal and that's safety, and it's 0:07:03.279 --> 0:07:06.880 so hard to heal from that place, to be your 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:09.880 best self, to just feel good, to feel safe. 0:07:10.200 --> 0:07:14.240 Yeah, like to go in more like with holding on trauma. 0:07:14.320 --> 0:07:17.800 It stores those files. So we all have files and 0:07:17.840 --> 0:07:21.320 we store them for our protection and our survival and 0:07:22.040 --> 0:07:25.640 having them stored in a bad way and keeping them 0:07:25.680 --> 0:07:28.360 in a bad way when things come up and you 0:07:28.400 --> 0:07:31.880 get triggered, which you don't understand why you get triggered, 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:35.920 and it's usually something completely different, But when that happens, 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:39.120 your body is like I can't deal with this sort 0:07:39.160 --> 0:07:42.320 of thing, so I'm going to put it out on 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:47.160 your body. I'm going to angle instead of knowing that trauma, 0:07:47.680 --> 0:07:50.280 it's going to bring it out in your body and 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:52.640 it's going to come up in a different way, and 0:07:52.680 --> 0:07:56.040 that's that you're going to focus on. And an example 0:07:56.120 --> 0:08:00.000 is for myself that I had headaches my whole life 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:03.720 life and like, oh, my whole life since I was 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:08.280 maybe around twelve, I think that I had headaches all 0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:12.400 the time and they controlled my life and I couldn't 0:08:12.440 --> 0:08:17.280 do this and I always had nerve and panandole and 0:08:17.280 --> 0:08:17.840 and there was. 0:08:17.840 --> 0:08:22.480 Those that was like the whole childhood was Goop having legit. 0:08:22.680 --> 0:08:25.280 Like it's all I mem would be shopping and Mom's like, 0:08:25.320 --> 0:08:27.480 we have to go home because Goop's got a headache. 0:08:27.480 --> 0:08:29.200 I'm like, fucking Cooper. 0:08:29.360 --> 0:08:34.160 Honestly, sorry, guys, I was just getting triggered. 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:36.600 Probably because the day was about me. 0:08:36.920 --> 0:08:39.440 Yeah, it's just like when you think about it, when 0:08:39.480 --> 0:08:41.800 I think about it in my head, like your mind 0:08:41.960 --> 0:08:47.040 controls everything for your survival in this place, and we 0:08:47.160 --> 0:08:49.719 have evolved and we're in a different environment, so it's 0:08:49.760 --> 0:08:53.040 definitely a lot more stress actually, but that's kind of 0:08:53.120 --> 0:08:55.720 like where it stems from and what happens. 0:08:56.040 --> 0:08:59.800 And so even like from my obviously this episode, mean 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:04.960 are not health professionals. We're just really talking about our 0:09:05.080 --> 0:09:10.200 own experience. And so from my experience, I actually lived 0:09:11.000 --> 0:09:14.920 majority of I would say, from like my late teenage 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:21.160 years to my early twenties in a disregulated place. It 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:24.760 was this place of I have to do more, I 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:29.240 have to strive more, I have to keep on fighting. 0:09:29.360 --> 0:09:33.240 It felt like this like constant state of like more 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:35.840 and I have to be a certain way in order 0:09:35.880 --> 0:09:38.199 to feel a certain way, and it was like this 0:09:38.520 --> 0:09:45.280 overwhelming pressure on my chest and shoulders, and I would 0:09:45.400 --> 0:09:48.080 often like now, looking back, I had so a lot, 0:09:48.160 --> 0:09:52.959 so many like physical representations of stress in my life, 0:09:53.600 --> 0:09:56.280 and it made sense because I was doing a law degree, 0:09:56.400 --> 0:09:58.440 or I was working full time while doing my law degree, 0:09:58.559 --> 0:10:01.080 or I was starting a business, and it all made 0:10:01.160 --> 0:10:04.520 sense sense. So I was like so fine with it almost, 0:10:04.520 --> 0:10:07.360 and it would just felt normal to me to live 0:10:07.480 --> 0:10:11.959 in this constant state of being disregulated. But then since 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:15.280 doing a lot of internal work and really focus on 0:10:15.400 --> 0:10:19.480 like what is actually going to regulate my nervous system 0:10:19.559 --> 0:10:22.760 right now and what is actually going to make me 0:10:22.920 --> 0:10:29.040 feel safe. What has happened is I just feel so 0:10:29.240 --> 0:10:33.880 much more comfortable to be in the present moment, Like 0:10:33.960 --> 0:10:36.880 I can just be in the present moment, Like I 0:10:36.960 --> 0:10:40.920 can be at home and let's say I've done my 0:10:41.080 --> 0:10:44.040 to do list or whatnot, and I can be like 0:10:44.120 --> 0:10:46.920 this actually happened the other day. Cooper and I had 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:48.920 finished what I wanted to do that day for work, 0:10:49.200 --> 0:10:52.079 Ivy and Tim were out and I had this moment 0:10:52.120 --> 0:10:55.640 where I was like, I really want to read my 0:10:55.679 --> 0:11:00.280 book because I'm really into fantasy books right now, whole 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:03.680 random of me. And but then I had that a 0:11:03.760 --> 0:11:06.440 first initial thought of like oh, or I should do 0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:09.199 more work or I should be productive. But because I've 0:11:09.240 --> 0:11:12.880 been really focusing on regulating my nervous system, I was like, no, 0:11:13.200 --> 0:11:15.839 I get to actually just read my book and be 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:19.040 in this moment and like seek out the pleasure, which 0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:20.920 is my word for the year. And so I read 0:11:20.960 --> 0:11:22.640 my book and then you know, Tim and Ivy came 0:11:22.679 --> 0:11:25.600 home and we did our normal afternoon routine. But there 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:28.000 was a moment there when I reflected and I spoke 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:31.600 to Tim after and I was like, previous Georgie, because 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:34.560 she was so disregulated all the time, would not have 0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:38.720 the awareness to actually just be present and enjoy that moment. 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:42.760 She would have done the productive thing. She would have 0:11:42.840 --> 0:11:45.600 been like, oh, I can't just like relish in this moment. 0:11:45.679 --> 0:11:49.320 So that's what regulating my nervous system has done, is 0:11:49.360 --> 0:11:51.760 I'm actually able to just be. 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:56.560 It's so nice, that's powerful, that's really cool. But like, 0:11:57.040 --> 0:12:00.760 don't beat yourself up for what you have done and 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:03.200 where you like the things that have triggered you and 0:12:03.200 --> 0:12:06.480 that sort of thing, because they're there to benefit us. 0:12:06.920 --> 0:12:10.400 Everything we do in our life is to benefit us. 0:12:10.600 --> 0:12:13.560 At that point in time in your life that you 0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:19.960 were opposite to what you said, like it was there 0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:22.880 to benefit you, and it's the same for everyone, Like. 0:12:23.040 --> 0:12:25.800 And it did. It hugely benefited me massively. 0:12:26.040 --> 0:12:28.760 But now you're on a different journey and it's not 0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:32.360 benefiting you, and so it doesn't feel right. So like 0:12:32.440 --> 0:12:35.200 it's all good from where you have gone and it's 0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:38.560 you've got those lessons and you've got you've learned so 0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:42.240 much from it. But yet now now's the time you 0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:47.640 can start taking some small steps of regulating your nervous system. 0:12:48.160 --> 0:12:51.800 And it is funny because even now, even though I'm like, no, 0:12:51.920 --> 0:12:54.080 I get to be in this season of like feeling 0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:57.640 really peaceful and being I do still have moments like 0:12:57.720 --> 0:13:01.240 when we did the Sydney event for our friend merce 0:13:01.559 --> 0:13:05.800 with n H. It was absolutely like a whirlwind because 0:13:05.800 --> 0:13:07.559 we like we did a Terry White meaning and that 0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:09.320 I had a podcast and then we had the event 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:12.160 and we had the influences there and I definitely did 0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:15.080 feel a little bit dysregulated. But again it was like 0:13:15.120 --> 0:13:18.160 that moment of being like, it's okay. For this moment, 0:13:18.240 --> 0:13:20.680 I can actually lean into just fucking being a bit 0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:23.920 all over the place, but still feeling okay because like 0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:26.800 you said, it's probably served me and it's like the 0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:28.040 zone I needed to be in. 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:33.280 Yeah, definitely it benefited you. But also you've learned a 0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:36.040 massive lesson from that that you're not going to do 0:13:36.120 --> 0:13:41.000 something so crazy, because I remember before that happened, you 0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:43.440 just said I don't want to do it. This isn't 0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:45.120 like I just I really don't want to do it. 0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:49.200 I'm getting bad feelings, I'm getting guilt, and it doesn't 0:13:49.440 --> 0:13:53.120 And I remember talking to you saying, look, you've said this, 0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:55.920 you've done. You've got to stick to your word, and 0:13:56.080 --> 0:13:59.240 you're going to learn a valuable lesson of what not 0:13:59.320 --> 0:14:02.559 to do. You need to go and do it. Otherwise 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:03.800 you're not going to have that lesson. 0:14:04.040 --> 0:14:06.520 Yeah, you're not gonna know. And also it's also like 0:14:06.559 --> 0:14:08.959 what's good about this is like you need to go 0:14:09.040 --> 0:14:11.680 and see what your boundaries are. You need to almost 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:14.040 push the limits to be like, oh there's the. 0:14:14.040 --> 0:14:18.479 Spot, don't go too far, but oh look definitely, Yeah, 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:21.560 and then you'd be like, yeah, I shouldn't have done that, 0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:28.480 but that's all learning, and it's okay, all. 0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:31.880 Right, well let's chat about like, first of all, let's 0:14:31.880 --> 0:14:34.600 talk about some signs that you're disregulated. 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:40.920 My first one that jumps to my head that is 0:14:40.960 --> 0:14:45.280 a great awareness, and I used to be this person, 0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:53.040 and it's in a conversation you this person can just 0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:58.640 talk about themselves. So in a conversation for me, there 0:14:58.840 --> 0:15:01.560 is like someone talk and then the other one listens 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:04.440 and let that person talk until they're finished, and then 0:15:04.480 --> 0:15:08.480 the other person talks and you ask each other questions 0:15:08.560 --> 0:15:11.320 and it's just back and forth, back and forth, and 0:15:11.360 --> 0:15:15.320 it's even it's like you're equal. But when you're with 0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:19.480 someone and they talk about themselves a lot, which happens 0:15:19.520 --> 0:15:22.680 a lot, and I used to be very much like that, 0:15:23.080 --> 0:15:28.040 and that to me is usually when there's just too 0:15:28.120 --> 0:15:30.680 much in that person's head that they don't have enough 0:15:30.720 --> 0:15:36.920 space to give to the other person. And in that note, 0:15:37.000 --> 0:15:39.320 like when you are with someone that talks about themselves 0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:44.040 a lot, it's they need it, and I just usually 0:15:44.040 --> 0:15:46.240 sit there and ask them more questions and try and 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:48.840 help them out because they need it at that time. 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:52.400 So it's still nice that you are a helper. But 0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:57.360 that's been a big thing for me lately that it's 0:15:57.360 --> 0:15:59.560 not that nice to be around someone that talks about 0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:03.600 themselves too much and challenge him. 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:06.120 Why are you talking about yourself so much? 0:16:07.360 --> 0:16:11.520 I challenge the other day he did. Yeah, I said, 0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:13.960 I'm like, why do you talk? And he's like, actually, 0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:17.960 I have noticed that, and I am trying to fix 0:16:18.000 --> 0:16:20.720 that at the moment. And Yeah, for me to say 0:16:20.760 --> 0:16:22.760 that to him, he's going to be way more aware 0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:25.600 of it and it's going to help him. It's going 0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:29.360 to benefit him. So that's Yeah, when you're stuck in 0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:30.360 your head, that's. 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:33.720 Yeah, when you're not like when you can't, when you 0:16:33.760 --> 0:16:37.400 don't have capacity for other people, Yeah, you're. 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:39.200 Just scraping by it in your head. 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:43.280 Yeah, And that's honestly, like, if I think back to 0:16:43.480 --> 0:16:47.280 those periods when I was just regulated, that's what it 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:49.160 felt like. I felt like I did not have any 0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:52.240 capacity for anyone else or anything else. Yeah, that's a 0:16:52.240 --> 0:16:54.800 good one. I think I was going to say, like 0:16:54.880 --> 0:17:00.520 more from like a physical response, Like in my physical body, 0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:05.119 it can feel like anxiety and stress and this like 0:17:06.040 --> 0:17:10.760 overwhelming just feeling of pressure. That's how I know I'm 0:17:10.760 --> 0:17:12.919 just regulated because I'm just like, oh, I just can't 0:17:13.040 --> 0:17:17.520 even see pass this issue or whatever, and I'm having 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:21.159 like a physiological effect and just stuck. 0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:24.240 Yeah, I just can't get out. The next one is 0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:27.280 for me is being a victim. 0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:29.280 Oh that's a good one. 0:17:29.800 --> 0:17:33.800 Yeah. Is in a conversation where they're like poor me, 0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:38.200 poor this, like I'm struggling and it's this victim mode, 0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:43.600 and yeah, that's that's a huge one that you kind 0:17:43.600 --> 0:17:45.760 of know that you're kind of stuck and if you 0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:49.800 notice that you're doing it, that's the first step being 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:53.760 aware and with the talking thing as well, like being aware, 0:17:53.840 --> 0:17:56.960 oh man, I am talking too much? Yeah, and how 0:17:56.960 --> 0:18:00.440 are you going to do? Some steps to go from 0:18:00.480 --> 0:18:04.560 here and noticing and then excelling into the next steps. 0:18:05.040 --> 0:18:08.879 So when you're like in your ego of like poor me, 0:18:09.359 --> 0:18:13.760 life's happening to me. It's their fault, it's their problem. 0:18:14.359 --> 0:18:16.000 All these things always happen to me. 0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:20.199 Blame in everyone else, Yeah, but yourself, And that's just 0:18:20.880 --> 0:18:23.400 it's just acting victim. Huge yep. 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:26.760 Another good one when I know I'm just regulated is 0:18:26.880 --> 0:18:31.119 when I have like a really short attention span or 0:18:31.160 --> 0:18:32.960 I'm like wanting to go on my phone a lot, 0:18:33.280 --> 0:18:36.440 like I'm needing that the validation they're like, oh, let 0:18:36.480 --> 0:18:39.400 me just see if someone message me, or that feeling 0:18:39.440 --> 0:18:42.720 of like I don't know, you just you need something, 0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:46.199 you need stimulation, like you actually can't be in your body. 0:18:46.280 --> 0:18:47.560 You need to escape. 0:18:47.680 --> 0:18:52.840 Well on that note to me, that expand like that 0:18:52.920 --> 0:18:56.520 you need to numb yourself. Yes, and that's when like 0:18:56.640 --> 0:19:00.320 alcohol comes in or food, foods huge. 0:19:00.800 --> 0:19:02.320 It's not alcoholpithic, it's me. 0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:09.680 Or other substances like they're the numbing things that yeah, 0:19:09.720 --> 0:19:13.119 you just you have to escape. Yeah. I did that 0:19:13.240 --> 0:19:16.840 a lot, and it benefited me at the time because 0:19:16.880 --> 0:19:20.840 I had so much pain. It's really good done. 0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:21.720 Nuts are really good. 0:19:23.600 --> 0:19:28.560 The next one is sleep. I was finding myself for 0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:31.000 doing a lot of work on myself that I could 0:19:31.080 --> 0:19:35.320 never go to sleep, and I struggled to go to sleep, 0:19:35.440 --> 0:19:39.199 and I was always taking tablets to help me. I 0:19:39.359 --> 0:19:42.080 was drinking to help me go to sleep weirdly as well, 0:19:42.440 --> 0:19:46.320 and then I would wake up early. I was just thinking, 0:19:46.440 --> 0:19:49.560 why can't I just bloody sleep? But they had too 0:19:49.640 --> 0:19:52.520 much in my head. Yeah, no space. It was just 0:19:52.640 --> 0:19:54.919 everything was going in my head and I knew it 0:19:54.960 --> 0:19:57.879 at the time, but that's that would have been a 0:19:57.960 --> 0:20:01.280 huge indicator for me to be in like you need 0:20:01.320 --> 0:20:04.200 to sort your sleep there because we need our sleep. 0:20:04.640 --> 0:20:08.440 So true. I think one more for me is when 0:20:08.680 --> 0:20:14.440 I'm overly sensitive. So if like you know, Tim says 0:20:14.440 --> 0:20:17.439 something or something happens and I just have this like 0:20:18.080 --> 0:20:24.160 overwhelming emotion where I know it's probably not appropriate reaction, 0:20:24.600 --> 0:20:26.840 but it's like I just feel it in my soul. 0:20:29.280 --> 0:20:29.720 I know. 0:20:31.440 --> 0:20:35.000 I've come to work and be like, oh, Tim, he's 0:20:35.080 --> 0:20:36.320 really fucking me off today. 0:20:38.640 --> 0:20:41.320 Yeah, that would happen. Or Georgia back in the day 0:20:41.359 --> 0:20:46.640 would make me cry because I would trigger her and 0:20:46.680 --> 0:20:49.720 she would just go and fight mode. Would I am 0:20:50.640 --> 0:20:54.960 light mode and I would just be like then I 0:20:54.960 --> 0:20:57.359 would end I'm crying pretty much, and then you'd be like, 0:20:57.400 --> 0:21:02.240 why you cry and fight me? It's just some raw 0:21:02.680 --> 0:21:03.760 rather with the love. 0:21:04.400 --> 0:21:08.240 Actually that's a true story, but it's really true because 0:21:08.280 --> 0:21:10.920 you are your like your and that's even let's talk 0:21:10.960 --> 0:21:14.359 about that. So your response when you were dysregulated, Cooper 0:21:14.400 --> 0:21:18.040 does go like inward, it's very like he can't. 0:21:18.280 --> 0:21:18.840 Just shut off. 0:21:18.960 --> 0:21:20.719 Yeah, he shuts go quiet. 0:21:20.920 --> 0:21:21.640 I'm like, come out. 0:21:22.040 --> 0:21:29.760 Yeah, where I am like fight, I like erupt, I unleashed. 0:21:30.640 --> 0:21:32.880 You haven't done it for a long time. I know, 0:21:33.440 --> 0:21:36.960 because I remember I started to do work on myself 0:21:37.040 --> 0:21:39.879 and you, I had so much more awareness and I 0:21:39.920 --> 0:21:44.040 was sorting all these things out inside of myself. And 0:21:44.920 --> 0:21:49.040 there was those cases of when you were in fight 0:21:49.160 --> 0:21:52.840 mode and you, yeah, wouldn't attack me in words, and 0:21:53.800 --> 0:21:56.159 I would be like, I would use my knowledge of 0:21:56.359 --> 0:22:01.600 like switching it around and putting it back on you, 0:22:02.040 --> 0:22:04.480 and I'd be like, why do you reckon You're like 0:22:04.560 --> 0:22:10.040 that little secret, And in the end, Georgia would and 0:22:10.080 --> 0:22:13.720 I'm crying about itself. But it was just there was 0:22:13.760 --> 0:22:16.520 something deep that you got triggered and you had to 0:22:16.600 --> 0:22:19.040 let it out. But it come up in a way 0:22:19.119 --> 0:22:22.359 that isn't who you are, but it just had to 0:22:22.400 --> 0:22:25.560 get it out. And like, because you are the most 0:22:25.600 --> 0:22:28.680 loving person, one of the most loving persons I know, 0:22:29.440 --> 0:22:33.440 and I knew it was there, but this rage come out. 0:22:34.040 --> 0:22:37.360 But that's the pain, that's the triggers, and that's what 0:22:37.400 --> 0:22:37.920 we hold. 0:22:38.320 --> 0:22:41.480 I go into defense. As soon as I triggered, It's 0:22:41.520 --> 0:22:46.840 like it feels like betrayal, like I'm so and that's 0:22:46.840 --> 0:22:48.639 how I know I'm just regulated because I go straight too. 0:22:48.840 --> 0:22:51.040 I'm like, oh, I'm trying to defend myself. 0:22:50.720 --> 0:22:52.080 Here, so nasty. 0:22:54.359 --> 0:22:57.679 Ah, guys, I have like a venomous tongue. That's what 0:22:57.720 --> 0:23:01.239 i'ld go aways off, like I go, something happens, I 0:23:01.280 --> 0:23:03.159 go straight in for the kill, don't it? 0:23:04.320 --> 0:23:07.840 And I like say, then that doesn't happen. You're like 0:23:07.920 --> 0:23:13.560 this most beautiful, nicest person and happening. 0:23:15.400 --> 0:23:18.240 I know, get it. I actually was thinking, I literally 0:23:18.240 --> 0:23:22.040 had a thought the other day of how much just 0:23:22.080 --> 0:23:25.160 how we good we are in business, since like doing 0:23:25.200 --> 0:23:27.639 all this work on ourselves, and like how regulated we 0:23:27.680 --> 0:23:30.159 both are so we can just like handle things so 0:23:30.480 --> 0:23:34.160 easily compared to previous we would have these fights and yeah, 0:23:34.240 --> 0:23:37.119 you would cry and I'd have to apologize, and it. 0:23:37.040 --> 0:23:39.560 Was like this whole It wasn't all the time, so 0:23:39.680 --> 0:23:42.879 everyone wasn't all the time all the time. It was 0:23:42.920 --> 0:23:43.680 a time. 0:23:45.600 --> 0:23:45.959 Drama. 0:23:46.119 --> 0:23:46.600 Definitely. 0:23:46.640 --> 0:23:48.280 That's how you know, you just regulate. You got like 0:23:48.359 --> 0:23:50.600 drama in your life, so now you kind of get 0:23:50.640 --> 0:23:52.880 the vibe what does it feel like? And you might 0:23:52.960 --> 0:23:56.320 been bethinking like, shit, guys, that's actually just my normal life. 0:23:56.359 --> 0:23:57.720