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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers now.

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Speaker 2: But could be the big thing is that we saw

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Speaker 2: so much value in each of the parents and we

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Speaker 2: could you know, we sort of think to ourself, Oh, routine, amazing.

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Speaker 2: I can imagine imagine if we could be more routine

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Speaker 2: and more organized and have things ready that, you know,

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Speaker 2: before five minutes before we were meant to walk out

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Speaker 2: the door.

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Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mom

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Speaker 1: and dad.

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Speaker 3: Well, last night was the grand finale of Freendal Guidance.

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Speaker 3: How good was that?

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Speaker 4: Kylie without Wilderness Challenge. Yeah, I'm still I'm still wrapping

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Speaker 4: my head around the fact that the two families that

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Speaker 4: got through.

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Speaker 3: Had never cared.

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Speaker 2: I'd never cared.

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Speaker 3: I know, out of the kids are looking at it,

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Speaker 3: They're like they've never been camping, like they've never never

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Speaker 3: been there. Just just so much fun. But I love

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Speaker 3: the conversations that they had. I love the way they

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Speaker 3: engaged with their kids. I mean, the whole the whole episode,

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Speaker 3: the whole series is been so nice. And now that

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Speaker 3: it's all over, we are so excited by the way.

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Speaker 3: I'm justin you're Collie, my wife and mum to our

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Speaker 3: six kids. I'm the parenting expert that was on the

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Speaker 3: show on parental guidance and the founder of Happy Families

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Speaker 3: dot com dot a. You and we are so excited

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Speaker 3: because today we've got the scoop of all scoops. We

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Speaker 3: have the winners.

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Speaker 4: Daniel and Penny are with us today.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so welcome Penny, Welcome. Daniel's great to have you

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Speaker 3: on the Happy Families podcast. Thanks for joining us, Thanks

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Speaker 3: for having us guys, thanks for having us.

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Speaker 5: Winners.

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Speaker 3: You don't sound like you've just won, are you? Are

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Speaker 3: you feeling okay?

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Speaker 2: No? Do you know what is actually a really uncomfortable

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Speaker 2: thing to suggest that you have won a show like this.

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Speaker 3: You're the best parents in Australia. That's what it means.

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Speaker 3: There's no parent that's equal to you.

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Speaker 2: Please, I've taken it.

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Speaker 6: I'm taking it all the way to the the.

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Speaker 2: Next person that sees me at the supermarket. I do

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Speaker 2: not claim that title by any straight Do.

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Speaker 6: You know the problem? The problem Penny's got and the

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Speaker 6: hardest thing about this is that now every time our

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Speaker 6: kids step out of line, right, we've got this added pressures.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, what are we going to do.

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Speaker 4: Now, Kenny, I have. I have lived in that space

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Speaker 4: for the last I don't know decade as very very

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Speaker 4: stressful because I do not claim anything when it comes

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Speaker 4: to parenting perfection, and our children are definitely not perfect.

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Speaker 3: You're married, you married to one of Australia's best known

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Speaker 3: parenting experts, and therefore people just look at us and

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Speaker 3: expect that the kids are going to be perfect.

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Speaker 6: We're getting that.

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Speaker 2: Now, and in fact, that's part of I guess our

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Speaker 2: parenting style is that we don't want them to be perfect.

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Speaker 2: We want we don't want these obedient, you know, extremely

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Speaker 2: well disciplined children. We want them to just be kids

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Speaker 2: and make mistakes and so you know, they are allowed

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Speaker 2: to be a bit wild. It will be.

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Speaker 3: I want to offer you some reassurance based on what

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Speaker 3: happened on parental guidance. I don't think anyone's looking at

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Speaker 3: you guys and thinking, well, their kids are going to

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Speaker 3: be perfect.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, well.

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Speaker 3: That's a comblin I go that that's that's a reassure.

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Speaker 3: It's I'm not not a pull down anyway.

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Speaker 4: Every time Julian opened his mouth or we could look,

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Speaker 4: we just looked at each other and went, that's our

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Speaker 4: seven year old.

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Speaker 3: Favor. Our favorite line when we get in the car

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Speaker 3: is we're taking you buddy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's definitely tuly in one liner.

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Speaker 4: I'm wondering, as we said our conversation today, guys, have

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Speaker 4: you always been on the same page with your parenting.

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Speaker 2: I can think of defined moments that we weren't on

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Speaker 2: the same page. Clear on the sticks up to me

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Speaker 2: is when seb was really little and I'm thinking maybe two,

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Speaker 2: and I was trying to do all the healthy eating

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Speaker 2: things and the clean eating as you do first child,

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Speaker 2: and one point I turned around and Daniel had given

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Speaker 2: him a Magnum, like a Magnum ego that's got like

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Speaker 2: three layers of chocolate with caramel in the middle and

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Speaker 2: ice cream on the inside. And I was just like,

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Speaker 2: what what the hell? This? This horrifying that in saying that

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Speaker 2: he has never really enjoyed it, I think he made

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Speaker 2: himself sick eating that as you do with a little

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Speaker 2: two year old Tommy. He's never enjoyed eating like chocolate

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Speaker 2: or any ice cream or things like that. Since. So,

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Speaker 2: there's definitely times that we don't agree or that we

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Speaker 2: haven't agreed. Can you think of any I.

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Speaker 6: Think based on the relaxed style of parenting, there's not

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Speaker 6: a lot not to We don't have a lot to

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Speaker 6: disagree with. So whatever it is, it's very minimal because

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Speaker 6: it's very much you know, as we said, we fly

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Speaker 6: by the city pants. It's as you go, so we're

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Speaker 6: not sitting there and analyzing, you know, parenting at any point.

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Speaker 6: We're just living life.

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Speaker 3: So was that a contest a lot from the outset though,

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Speaker 3: like you both fully aligned with that idea. I mean,

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Speaker 3: it sounds like a well, it sounds like Penny was

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Speaker 3: definitely not, at least when it came to diet in

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Speaker 3: the early stages.

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Speaker 2: I think I started off to strike it quite a

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Speaker 2: stressed parent, and I would say for the first say,

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Speaker 2: six months of Seb's life, I was a bit of

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Speaker 2: a wreck. Actually. We'd had, you know, we'd have some

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Speaker 2: bit of a tragedy in the family just before he

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Speaker 2: was born. And I think we were just both completely

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Speaker 2: You were a bit of an ever stretch too, checking

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Speaker 2: on him permanently in the and whatnot. So we were

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Speaker 2: both we was but we were both you know, quite

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Speaker 2: anxious parents, and I think we I reckon it was

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Speaker 2: about the six four to six months Mike that we

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Speaker 2: just thought this can't continue. We cannot parent in this way.

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Speaker 2: We're doing our heads in. It's not good for us

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Speaker 2: and it's not good for him and subsequently the other kids.

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Speaker 2: So I really think it, you know, our parenting style

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Speaker 2: was born from that moment of just going, we can't

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Speaker 2: do this anymore. And then when we relaxed and started

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Speaker 2: just going with the flow, things started being so much

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Speaker 2: easier for us, and we found the kids were happier

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Speaker 2: and everything worked so much smoother. That it worked, so

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Speaker 2: we kept it, kept it going.

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Speaker 4: That's awesome, Daniel, you touched on it in the show,

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Speaker 4: just this acknowledgement that I guess the experience is that

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Speaker 4: you'd had as a child kind of shaped and molded

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Speaker 4: the way you wanted to parent moving forward. I'm wondering

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Speaker 4: how for both of you the way your parent had

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Speaker 4: influenced your parenting style moving forward.

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Speaker 6: So raised by you know, parents that migrated to Australia

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Speaker 6: and were very much for them. They were in an

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Speaker 6: unfamiliar country, they weren't used to walk like you know,

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Speaker 6: they were always used to the ocean. They weren't used

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Speaker 6: to you know, the wilderness or the outback or they

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Speaker 6: come from a completely different world, and for them, they

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Speaker 6: were probably over protective of our safety, probably overprotective of

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Speaker 6: you know, us being in dangerous situations, and that probably

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Speaker 6: led them to being you know, strict and discipline as

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Speaker 6: we grew up. So what that what that did for

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Speaker 6: me me personally, was we probably grew up having anxiety

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Speaker 6: around the things we weren't allowed to do. So we

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Speaker 6: were anxious around water, we were anxious around heights, we

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Speaker 6: were anxious around dogs. It's something so simple, like you know,

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Speaker 6: like things like you know, animals and and and so

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Speaker 6: so for us, you know, because we were never allowed

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Speaker 6: to do any of those things or be around those

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Speaker 6: things because as far as they were concerned, that was dangerous.

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Speaker 6: We then we then grew up. Well I certainly did

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Speaker 6: as I as I left home and became a teenager

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Speaker 6: and an adult, I certainly wasn't comfortable around animals. I

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Speaker 6: certainly wasn't comfortable in the ocean. I certainly wasn't comfortable

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Speaker 6: you know, in situations where we were up heights and

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Speaker 6: or anything like that, or.

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Speaker 3: Camping as we saw in last night's episode, Like yeah,

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Speaker 3: I love the way you said that. By the way,

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Speaker 3: in the episode last night, were like, I haven't taken

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Speaker 3: a camp because I've been scared of it. And I

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Speaker 3: was like, that's not something that you hear too many

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Speaker 3: parents say to their kids. Yeah we're not doing it

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Speaker 3: because I'm scared. And I just was like, oh yes,

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Speaker 3: so well said.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah totally. And so for us, well for

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Speaker 6: me personally, I wanted my I just want my kids

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Speaker 6: to grow up knowing that, you know, just trying it

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Speaker 6: and being brave, brave probably the word, and knowing that

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Speaker 6: you know, there's no the consequence isn't as bad as

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Speaker 6: my parents thought they would be.

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Speaker 2: And how about you, Penny, I think of it. There's

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Speaker 2: a lot of stuff around saying that my parents were

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Speaker 2: free range. That's not quite that's not quite right. My

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Speaker 2: parents were quite streaked actually. You know, we weren't allowed

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Speaker 2: to watch you know, The Simpsons was bad news. Home

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Speaker 2: and Away was a big no. Like, no magazines allowed,

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Speaker 2: none of those things they were out, you know, no

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Speaker 2: boyfriends were allowed. We Yeah, so as a result, we

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Speaker 2: were we were quite sneaky kids, like quite sneaky teenagers.

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Speaker 2: And I think my mum knew we had each I

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Speaker 2: was one of three and we had each other's backs,

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Speaker 2: and so in a way she thought they're talking to

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Speaker 2: each other, it's all good. But I definitely wanted a

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Speaker 2: relationship with my kids where they could be honest with

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Speaker 2: us and that they could talk to us about anything,

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Speaker 2: and anything was okay as long as we knew about it,

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Speaker 2: we could work through anything. So that's I think how Yeah,

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Speaker 2: my parents' parenting style affected my own.

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Speaker 4: I love that acknowledgment, Penny, just you know, kind of

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Speaker 4: wanting that connection with your children and helping them to

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Speaker 4: know that they can come and talk to you about anything.

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Speaker 4: And I think that our previous generation of parents often

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Speaker 4: parented us out of fear, you know, with fear of

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Speaker 4: the unknown or fear coming from trauma base where they

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Speaker 4: had had their own experiences that they didn't want their

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Speaker 4: children to experience, and that had such an impact in

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Speaker 4: the connection that they were able to have with us

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Speaker 4: as their children. So thank you so much for sharing that.

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Speaker 2: I love that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like this, this is confidence. The kids will figure

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Speaker 3: it out. We're here to support them, but they'll figure

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Speaker 3: it out and they'll find their own they'll find their

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Speaker 3: own boundaries, they'll find their own way. So long as

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Speaker 3: they know they can come to us and we're a safe,

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Speaker 3: secure places. That's what I saw as I watched the

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Speaker 3: way you guys were with your kids. Would that be

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Speaker 3: a reasonable.

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Speaker 2: Summation, Yeah, yeah, definitely Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Hey, after break, we're gonna find out a couple

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Speaker 3: more ins and outs of this free range parenting style,

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Speaker 3: specifically the idea that it's not just letting the kids

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Speaker 3: do whatever they want. There are still rules and expectations,

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Speaker 3: and we'll find out exactly what this show has meant

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Speaker 3: for Penny and Daniel where they do things in their family.

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Speaker 1: It's their Happy Families podcast for.

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Speaker 4: A happier family. Try a Happy Families membership, because a

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Speaker 4: happy family doesn't just happen.

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Speaker 3: Details at happy families dot com dot au.

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Speaker 4: It's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast with a time

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Speaker 4: poor parent who just wants answers now. And today we

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Speaker 4: are talking with the winners. The winners.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, well you know what we're gonna I've got the

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Speaker 5: crickets chirping while the crowds for I've pushed the wrong

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Speaker 5: button from camping right that somebody stuck one of those

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Speaker 5: the sleeping bag and brought it back.

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Speaker 3: The crowd's gone wild.

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Speaker 2: This radio detailing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right. It's been a long time. I pushed

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Speaker 3: the wrong buttons. I'm out of practice. So we're talking

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Speaker 3: with Penny and Daniel, the winners of Sorry, the parenting

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Speaker 3: style that was voted as the best in parental guidance?

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Speaker 5: How's that?

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Speaker 3: Is that a better way to say? I actually liked.

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Speaker 4: The way they were. It was just this acknowledgement that

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Speaker 4: you know, Australia was recognizing the way you guide your children.

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Speaker 4: That's what I took from it. Yeah, you know, this

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Speaker 4: opportunity for us to guide our children is so important.

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Speaker 3: Also got a highlight from the very outset. No one

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Speaker 3: was ever told that there was a prize, No one

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Speaker 3: was Actually it was never really set up as a competition.

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Speaker 3: It was set up as a conversation about parenting where

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Speaker 3: we wanted to elevate good parenting and let people see

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Speaker 3: more of it, which is why we had different rounds.

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Speaker 3: But it wasn't until the very end that you guys

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Speaker 3: even knew that there was going to be a family

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Speaker 3: holiday on the line.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that's right, Yeah, that's exactly right. And we certainly entered,

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Speaker 2: you know, into the mix, not not thinking that it

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Speaker 2: was a competition. By any stretch or or recognizing the

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Speaker 2: best parenting style. We want to make that loud and clear.

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Speaker 4: How has been on the show affected your parenting? Has

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Speaker 4: it has changed, it changed anything?

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Speaker 3: Like did you pick stuff up from the other parents

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Speaker 3: and think, oh, we probably should do a bit more

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Speaker 3: of that.

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Speaker 2: Look. I think the big thing is that we saw

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Speaker 2: so much value in each of the parents, and we

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Speaker 2: could you know, we sort of think to ourself, Oh,

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Speaker 2: routine amazing, Like, imagine, imagine if we could be more

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Speaker 2: routine and more organized and have things ready that you know,

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Speaker 2: before five minutes before we were meant to walk out

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Speaker 2: the door. But when it comes down to the reality

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Speaker 2: of our life, I just don't think that we could

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Speaker 2: take it, take it on board or disciplined. You know,

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Speaker 2: if we were more disciplined with the kids about you know,

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Speaker 2: their their routines or their structures or going you know,

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Speaker 2: going to sleep at a certain time, all these things,

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Speaker 2: when no question, it would probably be better for our kids.

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Speaker 2: But it's just not who and so it would be

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Speaker 2: hard for us to, yeah, to take it on board.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, we are a happy family, you know, we are

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Speaker 6: very content with our day to day lives. So I

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Speaker 6: think I think for us, you know, we're changing things dramatically,

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Speaker 6: or trying to change things would go away from our

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Speaker 6: natural parenting style.

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Speaker 3: So I've got to dive in and just pick up

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Speaker 3: on this one thing, because one thing that so many

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Speaker 3: parents have said to me is the one problem that

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Speaker 3: I've got with free range is the kids can do anything.

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Speaker 3: But you've given a great example just a minute ago,

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Speaker 3: Daniel of Well, if Julian wants to have an extra

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Speaker 3: ice cream, but Dad, you're free range, I can do

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Speaker 3: what I want. So you're okay with them climbing lamp

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Speaker 3: posts and dancing on the dining table or whatever, but

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Speaker 3: you still have some expectations around around what they're going

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Speaker 3: to do, what's healthy for them, and that sort of thing.

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Speaker 3: So what do you do when Julian says, come on, Dad,

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Speaker 3: one more your free range, I want to have another

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Speaker 3: ice cream. I want to stay up until one o'clock.

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Speaker 6: Oh, we do exactly what every other parent would do.

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Speaker 6: We'd explain that, no, you've had one already, you don't

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Speaker 6: need a second one. And like every other parent would say,

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Speaker 6: is that you know it's not healthy that you know,

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Speaker 6: grab an apple, grab a healthy choice. Are you genuinely

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Speaker 6: hungry or do you just want some more sugar. I'm

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Speaker 6: sure we do what every other parent would do in

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Speaker 6: that situation. But if Julian said, oh, Dad, I want

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Speaker 6: to go outside and go for a swim, and it's

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Speaker 6: you know, we'd probably go here, go for it, mate,

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Speaker 6: if that's what you want to said one to go

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Speaker 6: out and ride his mountain bike up and down the street. Like,

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Speaker 6: there's things that we'd allow them to do that you

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Speaker 6: know what, we can see it's in their best interest.

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Speaker 6: If it's not in their best interest, we'll always intervene

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Speaker 6: and talk them through it and explain what we think.

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Speaker 6: But again, the rule that the thing, the rules that

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Speaker 6: are such are around things that you would explt we

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Speaker 6: we don't just let them meet what they want. We

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Speaker 6: don't let them free rates.

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Speaker 3: Isn't no rules and and that's what we try to

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Speaker 3: get across in the show. It's not no rules.

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Speaker 2: Well do you know what? It's no rules in that

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Speaker 2: nothing is set in places of rule, everything really can

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Speaker 2: be questioned. So if you want an extra ice block,

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Speaker 2: talk to me about the reasons. You know, we'll talk

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Speaker 2: about that. You know, if you can sort of say,

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Speaker 2: you know, I beat these and all these other things,

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Speaker 2: and you can explain to me. And our kids are

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Speaker 2: very good arguers. They're very good negotiators, aren't they.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I love that because if I need an extra

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Speaker 3: ice cream, I'm going to say to Kylie, when you

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Speaker 3: look at what my diet's been across the week, Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: when you look at it holistically, my diet's been really

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Speaker 3: good this week. And tonight I'm just going to tonight.

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Speaker 3: I just want to go for it.

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Speaker 2: I just need that second ice block. And you know what,

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Speaker 2: that's probably going to be. Okay, it's not going to

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Speaker 2: be the end of the world. You have that second

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Speaker 2: ice plot I have.

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Speaker 3: None of the kids are listening right now.

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Speaker 4: We could keep talking to you guys for hours.

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Speaker 3: It's fun.

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Speaker 4: It's been so much fun getting to know you a

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Speaker 4: little bit better. And you are definitely the family that

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Speaker 4: comes up in our dinner conversations. Yeah, mos nights. At

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Speaker 4: the moment, the kids have been really, really enjoying.

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Speaker 3: Well, Dad, Daniel and Penny had let us do it well,

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Speaker 3: won't you. I know, I'll tell it. No, we get

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Speaker 3: to have the autonomy supportive conversation. We'll tell us more.

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Speaker 4: As we wrap things up. I'm wondering whether or not

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Speaker 4: you felt like this experience has actually strengthened your family.

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Speaker 4: What have you taken away from this whole experience.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I think absolutely. I think I think if you

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Speaker 6: summarize the time we spent together through the camping trip,

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Speaker 6: through the house, even through filming, and even sitting on

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Speaker 6: the lounge watching the show together, you know, the laughs,

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Speaker 6: the the cheers, and the it's just it's brought us

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Speaker 6: together in a way where I think there's more more respect,

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Speaker 6: but more more appreciation from both sides. We certainly look

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Speaker 6: at our kids and go, wow, we're really lucky and

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Speaker 6: they're beautiful kids, and we're so proud, and I think

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Speaker 6: they look back and go, we've got some cool parents

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Speaker 6: and we can sort of see what they're trying to

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Speaker 6: do here. So yeah, I think that's that's strengthened In

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Speaker 6: the last sort of you know, six weeks.

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Speaker 2: I don't think you ever really get the chance as

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Speaker 2: we've had to step outside of your situation and look

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Speaker 2: in look back in on it. And so that's what

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Speaker 2: I found amazing to be a part of this experience,

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Speaker 2: because you when you you know, down in the trenches

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Speaker 2: with your kids every day. You don't, you don't appreciate

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Speaker 2: some of the things that that we've had the chance

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Speaker 2: to experience.

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Speaker 6: Like all parents, you do think you're doing a ship

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Speaker 6: job and you think your kids are ship and everyone thinks,

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Speaker 6: you know, like everyone's really hard on themselves. But I

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Speaker 6: think this is this yeah, and I think for all parents.

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Speaker 6: And I said this in one of one of the interviews,

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Speaker 6: is that if you're watching the show and they said,

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Speaker 6: what do you think parents will get out of this show?

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Speaker 6: I think I think honestly, most parents should finish this

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Speaker 6: three weeks and go, you know, feel good about themselves.

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Speaker 3: We're doing lokay job.

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Speaker 2: We doing a job. Look at look at the good

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Speaker 2: enough parenting. I always like to say, just good enough.

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Speaker 3: Well we We're so grateful Penny and Daniel for you

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Speaker 3: taking some time out to chat with us about your

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Speaker 3: reasons for celebration, your wonderful family, and the experience you've

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Speaker 3: had on parenial guidance. Thanks for joining us on the

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Speaker 3: Happy Families podcast. Thanks so much, good and congratulations. The

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Speaker 3: Happy Family's podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media.

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Speaker 3: Craig Bruce is our executive producer and if you'd like

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Speaker 3: more information about making your family happier, you can listen

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Speaker 3: to Penny and Daniel all day or check out our website.

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Speaker 3: Because a happy family doesn't just happen. Details at happy

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Speaker 3: families dot com dot au