Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
Speaker 3: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the the podcast for
Speaker 4: millennials who want financial freedom. Today, guys, it is Friday,
Speaker 4: which means it is time to get our little team
Speaker 4: together and celebrate you our incredible She's on the Money
Speaker 4: community today, Miss Gried. She is going to be sharing
Speaker 4: with us some money wins. We're going to be helping
Speaker 4: answer a juicy money dilemma which this week is all
Speaker 4: about unexpected funeral costs, and we're going to be unpacking
Speaker 4: something that you slid into our DMS about this week.
Speaker 4: We're going to be having a chat about whether equity
Speaker 4: should be applied in friendships.
Speaker 2: That made people angry. It made me so mad.
Speaker 4: In our DMS, I was like, usually the like you know,
Speaker 4: community DM that we address on the pod is it's
Speaker 4: a little bit spicy. It's always like a little bit like, oh,
Speaker 4: you don't want to like publicly ask the question, so
Speaker 4: you slide into our DMS so that you can get
Speaker 4: kind of an anonymous response this one. But you're glad
Speaker 4: you slid into our DMS and the response you're anonymous
Speaker 4: because there are some people coming for it, like they
Speaker 4: were coming for us, and we just asked the question.
Speaker 4: I didn't even say we had an opinion on it
Speaker 4: at this point.
Speaker 2: Do you see? I'm so excited.
Speaker 4: It was a lot, But I also feel like this
Speaker 4: week has been a lot. How's your week been back,
Speaker 4: what's you've been up to?
Speaker 2: I really liked this week. Actually sorry, I had a
Speaker 2: bit of whiplash because you know, there's the weekend and
Speaker 2: then you go back to work and then there's another weekend. Yeah,
Speaker 2: there should be immediate it's a half weekend. Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: a half weekend immediately after you start working a public
Speaker 2: holidays on Mondays or Fridays only. I agree with that.
Speaker 4: I agree with that that should be exactly. But I
Speaker 4: mean Anzac Day is really important. I mean it's important
Speaker 4: to me, so I think that we should celebrate it
Speaker 4: on the right day. But the government should be nice
Speaker 4: and just have given us Monday off as well, exactly.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't hate that, honestly, because I think it's good.
Speaker 4: It's good for morale. Our engagement would increase. We know
Speaker 4: what happens when people are engaged, they produce fifty percent
Speaker 4: higher shareholder return. In that government give us four days off?
Speaker 2: Yeap? How could you say no?
Speaker 4: Exactly? So what else did you do?
Speaker 2: You had whiplash and had whiplash. On Tuesday? I saw
Speaker 2: our producer live and Alisa Live and Lisa she's actually
Speaker 2: going to be famous one day, like really famous. I
Speaker 2: think she's already famous definitely. Where you know, I'm from
Speaker 2: Brunswick area. Everyone knows it. Everyone knows she's got her
Speaker 2: own radio show.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she's a big deal, a big deal, the biggest deal.
Speaker 5: Yes, Brunswick. Without thinking of the garage party, like I
Speaker 5: just that's.
Speaker 2: All we do there.
Speaker 4: Do you know why they had the garage party because
Speaker 4: Analysa was playing no to celebrate Analisa. Yeah, when viral
Speaker 4: and Aalisa was playing there, didn't know.
Speaker 2: She's a big deal.
Speaker 4: We'll put a link to her stuff in our show
Speaker 4: notes this week so you can creep on her, because
Speaker 4: I just feel like everybody needs to know who she is.
Speaker 4: She's the person that if you go to as she's
Speaker 4: on the money event, you like, look across the room,
Speaker 4: woman in the pink Sparkley suit. Yep, that's Analisa. Yeah,
Speaker 4: you do want to meet her?
Speaker 2: Beautiful, she's really hot.
Speaker 4: It just my favorite part about this whole conversation is
Speaker 4: she's currently in the room.
Speaker 2: And she's so uncomfortable.
Speaker 4: It's amazing.
Speaker 2: Take the love you deserve it. She's also a take
Speaker 2: and run a person, so we love this. Yeah, that's true,
Speaker 2: all right, I mean what can't you do?
Speaker 4: So I don't know, there's not one thing that we've
Speaker 4: asked her to do that she hasn't done.
Speaker 2: No, that's true.
Speaker 4: Wild. Let me move on though, because she's she's suitably uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: Suitably I just feel uncomfortable with her uncomfortable.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's great, miss Jessicricci. How's your week being.
Speaker 2: It's been good.
Speaker 5: Just a normal week for me this week, enjoying the
Speaker 5: sunshine and along popping along. I had a rental inspection
Speaker 5: this week. That's hot, yep, really fun. That's about us
Speaker 5: really they.
Speaker 4: Say that they were tripling your rent because I feel
Speaker 4: like that's what's happening to everybody who has a rental
Speaker 4: inspection at the moment.
Speaker 2: Oh, thankfully they can't envy.
Speaker 4: Oh you're in the first twelve months of your lease
Speaker 4: as well.
Speaker 5: Yes, so it's just to make sure we haven't ruined
Speaker 5: the place, which we haven't not yet, two thumbs up.
Speaker 2: Not yet.
Speaker 4: And they didn't find all the stuff you hed no,
Speaker 4: no yet studying all right. I want to know what's
Speaker 4: been going on with our community. Jess. What are the
Speaker 4: money wins and confessions that you've round up this week
Speaker 4: for us?
Speaker 5: My first money win this week comes from Tanzen, who
Speaker 5: said money win. I desperately wanted to join in on
Speaker 5: the frank green water bottle trend, but I could not
Speaker 5: justify the price for myself until I was scrolling on
Speaker 5: Facebook Marketplace and saw a chick advertising the exact one
Speaker 5: for thirty five dollars brand new after she was gifted
Speaker 5: two for her birthday, I have officially joined the emotional
Speaker 5: support water bottle trend thirty five dollars.
Speaker 4: It's a good deal.
Speaker 2: I don't know how much do they cost?
Speaker 4: Usually about sixty fifty nine ninety five.
Speaker 2: Yeah, still a lot of money for a water bottle. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Kmart does a good dupe nine dollars, little SYSTEMA plastic
Speaker 2: water bottle.
Speaker 4: Is nothing better than an insulated water bottle. I'll have
Speaker 4: to try it one day as a little bit of
Speaker 4: a water top. Update for those of you playing along
Speaker 4: at home, my Stanley drink bottle has arrived. I am
Speaker 4: in love with it. It is bigger than my head.
Speaker 2: I am huge. The whole table.
Speaker 4: It's peach, She's stunny. And jessic Ricci has bought me two,
Speaker 4: not one, but two drink mixes this week. She bought
Speaker 4: me the green Apple and the cherry flavored Jolly Rancher
Speaker 4: drink mix, which I think is just no no, And
Speaker 4: do you know what, I have absolutely no face that
Speaker 4: they're going to taste any good because they are one.
Speaker 4: I don't like cherry flavor, so apologies. Yes, but you
Speaker 4: know what, Jess, you knew that when you purchased that,
Speaker 4: didn't you?
Speaker 2: I was like, gonna be good content, to be good content.
Speaker 4: She wants me to. I feel like it's just going
Speaker 4: to taste like cough medicine and the green apple flavor.
Speaker 4: Very excited to try it, but they're sugar free and
Speaker 4: I do not enjoy artificial flavors Like I just artificial
Speaker 4: sweetener needs to get in the bin. I cannot get
Speaker 4: my head out after taste. Yeah, so we'll see, we'll see,
Speaker 4: but I will film that content because I love watertalk.
Speaker 5: Very niche for anyone else who's on the same type
Speaker 5: of tiknok as you can't relate.
Speaker 4: I keep sending videos of water talk to Jess. If
Speaker 4: this is making no sense to you, you don't want
Speaker 4: it to make sense to but I keep sending them
Speaker 4: to Jests so that she will also end up on watertok.
Speaker 4: It's kind of like ruining her feed from my side
Speaker 4: of the.
Speaker 2: Ta her life.
Speaker 5: Speaking of water, my next money is from Alisha, who
Speaker 5: said our washing machine wasn't working and it kept saying
Speaker 5: check the filter. Didn't even know the filter was empty.
Speaker 5: I was hesitant about calling someone to fix it, as
Speaker 5: I knew it would probably be expensive and I didn't
Speaker 5: know if I would need a plumber or an appliance technician.
Speaker 5: My partner was catching up with one of his mates
Speaker 5: who happens to be a plumber, so I made him
Speaker 5: ask his mate for some tips. It was a simple
Speaker 5: fix and we now have a working washing machine for
Speaker 5: zero doll It's how good life win. My next one
Speaker 5: comes from Goji who said money win. Local Yoga was
Speaker 5: closed for renovations and they are now offering free unlimited
Speaker 5: classes for the first week and I will seven classes
Speaker 5: for free.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, seven taking it to the nth degree.
Speaker 2: I love that. You gotta respect it.
Speaker 4: It's like when seven to eleven has those days where
Speaker 4: they say bring your own container and you can have
Speaker 4: as much slurpy as you.
Speaker 2: Really used to love that as a kiddo, sor right.
Speaker 4: Wild, but like, where's where's the line? Yeah, yeah, where's
Speaker 4: the line. I'll bring my Stanley cup. I feel like
Speaker 4: that's the line. That's a lot of.
Speaker 2: Not big enough.
Speaker 5: We did a mixing bowl once, me and my brother.
Speaker 5: We shared it to be fair, Oh.
Speaker 4: We shared it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I feel like I've seen people with those gallon water things,
Speaker 4: you know from like the water fountains, where they like
Speaker 4: tip it upside down and then just like ruin the
Speaker 4: environment with their fake filtered water. Like that's arguably a
Speaker 4: little bit irresponsible, but that's okay. But I've seen people
Speaker 4: take those and get that filled with slurpy.
Speaker 2: Slurpy on tap. Could I do the dream, the absolute dream?
Speaker 4: Maybe we should buy a slurpy machine for the offers.
Speaker 4: I would actually tip there are a lot of things
Speaker 4: that we want in this office that we probably shouldn't purchase.
Speaker 5: Our office if we just let ourselves buy the things
Speaker 5: that we wanted, would look like it was designed by
Speaker 5: a six year old.
Speaker 2: They'd be slides, swings, they'd be slurpy. It would just
Speaker 2: be ridiculous.
Speaker 4: I'm not sorry for that.
Speaker 2: I'm not even sorry.
Speaker 5: I have no regrets, no regrets. My next money when
Speaker 5: came from Tina, who said, just found out that you
Speaker 5: can go to your local council, take your rates notice
Speaker 5: and get two free native trees. That's all the information
Speaker 5: that I have. I don't know if it's every local
Speaker 5: counselor please tease still on your.
Speaker 4: Can you give us some more information, Tina?
Speaker 5: But I thought that's a good tip, like jump on
Speaker 5: your local council website two free trees.
Speaker 4: But also local count always have good stuff going on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they ever marketed. I've never I'd never hear about this.
Speaker 4: They probably sometimes budget let's be honest.
Speaker 2: That's fair.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I think it's changing. But a lot of
Speaker 5: government or local government teams generally are made up of
Speaker 5: more mature people and so they're not as tech savy
Speaker 5: a lot of the time. So they are market Like
Speaker 5: I see flyers and stuff. Sometimes that's not reaching the
Speaker 5: people that's got to reach, like stapled to the telephone pole.
Speaker 5: No one's looking at the help.
Speaker 4: The telephone pole or the community noticeboard at coles. Yeah,
Speaker 4: like the one that you kind of like awkwardly glance
Speaker 4: at as you're going out of the self checked out.
Speaker 5: Yeah, not all council people are old, but they should
Speaker 5: hire more young people. That's what I'm saying, one hundred percent.
Speaker 5: Moving right along, Please don't come for me. My next
Speaker 5: money when comes from Kim who said, sold my daughter's
Speaker 5: cot for the price of what it would have cost
Speaker 5: me to upgrade her to a single bit love a
Speaker 5: cost neutral upgrade. And I was like, I just love
Speaker 5: the term cost neutral cost. Right, we are taking that
Speaker 5: and running with it. This is this is where my
Speaker 5: head went because you said don't hate me. But now
Speaker 5: realize that was in relation to your last comment. I
Speaker 5: just thought that Kim had sold her kids cop before
Speaker 5: her kid.
Speaker 4: Was done with it.
Speaker 6: Money.
Speaker 4: We now my kids sleep's on the floor. Can you imagine,
Speaker 4: very monty sorrow, very fancy, very fancy. I'm on that
Speaker 4: side of TikTok.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're on every side of TikTok.
Speaker 4: I live on TikTok.
Speaker 2: Well that's okay, no judgment over here.
Speaker 5: That's all why money wins for the week. So should
Speaker 5: we take a quick break so it can get a
Speaker 5: TikTok fixed?
Speaker 2: She's shaking, She's literally.
Speaker 4: Not even mad. Do you want to see this TikTok
Speaker 4: of this guy who dances and takes best off?
Speaker 2: We don't have any choice, so let's do it. Welcome back, everybody.
Speaker 2: Let's jump into this week's money dilemma. Hi, there, have
Speaker 2: you got.
Speaker 4: A money dilemma you just can't solve that. She's on
Speaker 4: the Money team is here to help. Every week, we
Speaker 4: tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your
Speaker 4: most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved,
Speaker 4: simply head to our website and leave us a short
Speaker 4: voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now,
Speaker 4: let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 6: Hi, and She's on the Money. I have a money dilemma.
Speaker 6: Last year, my father sadly passed away and I needed
Speaker 6: to pay three thousand dollars of my savings a four
Speaker 6: costs involved with chromation and the funeral home. Now I
Speaker 6: am expected of my family to purchase a plot and headstone.
Speaker 6: And while I loved my father, I am not a
Speaker 6: higher earner and struggling with these unexpected costs. Does She's
Speaker 6: on the Money have any advice on how to pay
Speaker 6: for these unexpected costs and how to get any kind
Speaker 6: of funding. I live in Australia and I am paying
Speaker 6: these costs in New Zealand and I'm wondering if I
Speaker 6: could even get some kind of a rebate, whither through
Speaker 6: its GST or a tax time.
Speaker 5: Firstly, I just want to say I'm really sorry that
Speaker 5: you're going through this. That's a really tough thing to
Speaker 5: deal with it in and of itself, dealing with a
Speaker 5: loss with then having a financial burden on top of that,
Speaker 5: and I'm shocked at how much it costs to be
Speaker 5: cremated three thousand dollars.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a lot.
Speaker 2: I've never thought about the cost before now if I'm
Speaker 2: being honest.
Speaker 4: Yeah, look, it's a lot of money, and I guess
Speaker 4: it makes sense when you think about it. In Australia
Speaker 4: and in New Zealand, it is like kind of a
Speaker 4: restricted thing. You can't just turn up and become cremated,
Speaker 4: Like there has to be a death certificate and a
Speaker 4: whole process behind it, right, I know because my mother
Speaker 4: actually worked in the death industry for a very long time.
Speaker 4: Here in Australia are the total funeral costs of a
Speaker 4: traditional burial, This is just me reading from the Australian
Speaker 4: Bureau of Statistics website can average between seven thousand and
Speaker 4: fifteen thousand dollars, while here in Australia, a cremation can
Speaker 4: cost anywhere between three thousand and just seven thousand dollars. Obviously,
Speaker 4: these figures can go even higher depending on like your
Speaker 4: local cemetery fees and like regulations and stuff, because there
Speaker 4: are different regulations that are involved. So these fees they
Speaker 4: usually cover what be deemed to be quote the essentials,
Speaker 4: so things like logistics, so you need to move the
Speaker 4: body from location to location. You can't just stick them
Speaker 4: in the cheapest uber that you get a death certificate,
Speaker 4: filing notices, permits, stuff like that. If you're looking for
Speaker 4: anything extravagant, like you want a nice casket, that's even
Speaker 4: more money. You want to do viewings of your loved one,
Speaker 4: that is going to increase the amount that the funeral
Speaker 4: home charges you. If you want to do like some
Speaker 4: kind of special celebration or clergy or like a nice
Speaker 4: flower arrangement, that's way more money. Again, and flowers are
Speaker 4: very expensive even for funerals. You can actually expect to
Speaker 4: pay anywhere between like maybe three hundred and up to
Speaker 4: like five thousand dollars on florals for a four depending
Speaker 4: on obviously what you do and how you do it.
Speaker 4: I know that in my family a lot of people
Speaker 4: have said if they've had like a death notice, they say,
Speaker 4: in little of flowers, can you donate to a particular charity?
Speaker 4: Which is nice, but you kind of like want it
Speaker 4: to look nice as well. I don't know, there's that
Speaker 4: mix of working you're.
Speaker 2: Still celebrating somebody's life.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So in most cases, the person who arranges the funeral,
Speaker 4: whether that's like a friend or a family member. They
Speaker 4: actually have to sign a contract directly with the funeral
Speaker 4: director and then that person is the person that's kind
Speaker 4: of in charge of all the payments, which is why
Speaker 4: our listener might have written in and said, hey, it
Speaker 4: seems to be all on me because she might have
Speaker 4: taken on the brunt of that responsibility. Let's assume she's not.
Speaker 4: Maybe she's the only financially stable person in the family
Speaker 4: that has access to funds. That can be really, really hard.
Speaker 4: So it's important to know that there are actually a
Speaker 4: few things here in Australia, and I've done some research
Speaker 4: and understand that there are similar things in New Zealand
Speaker 4: as well. So what I'd be looking up for anyone
Speaker 4: in their circumstance is bereavement assistance. So here in a
Speaker 4: stray bereavement assistance can either be like a non for
Speaker 4: profit organization or it can be through the government and
Speaker 4: they will help you with unexpected funeral costs. In New Zealand,
Speaker 4: the average funeral cost is actually ten thousand dollars, which
Speaker 4: is a lot of money, but they say only five
Speaker 4: percent of New Zealanders have what's called a pre planned funeral,
Speaker 4: So you can actually do that yourself at any point.
Speaker 4: It's a very morbid concept, but I mean, if your
Speaker 4: death is going to be expected, it's something that a
Speaker 4: lot of people like doing because they feel like they've
Speaker 4: got control over that circumstance and it can actually be
Speaker 4: a really therapeutic process. It's not nice by any stretch
Speaker 4: of the imagination, but at any point you can actually
Speaker 4: go down to a funeral home and pre pay for
Speaker 4: your funeral as well as like kind of plan it out,
Speaker 4: like you could do everything. You could do the bare minimum,
Speaker 4: which would be just paying for it, or you could
Speaker 4: go all the way through to or I want to
Speaker 4: look at the guest list. I want to have a
Speaker 4: look at you know, what songs you're going to play,
Speaker 4: what's my intro song, what's my outro song? Who's speaking?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 4: You can plan literally everything if you wanted to.
Speaker 2: So.
Speaker 4: In New Zealand there are also bereavement services you can
Speaker 4: call upon if you find that you're not able to
Speaker 4: afford it. So I would be doing, honestly, because it
Speaker 4: changes based on either local, state or council regulations. I
Speaker 4: would be looking up just bereavement services in your area
Speaker 4: and seeing what type of support there is further to that.
Speaker 4: I probably, given you're the one in your family who
Speaker 4: has been loaded with all of these costs, I would obviously,
Speaker 4: I don't think it changes whether you loved your dad
Speaker 4: or not. You said that in your voice note You're like, oh,
Speaker 4: I loved him, but no, no, we know you loved him.
Speaker 4: But it's actually really unrealistic and unreasonable to assume that
Speaker 4: you're the one individually that would bear the brunt of
Speaker 4: all of this. I think going back and going Okay,
Speaker 4: well what does this look like, and maybe having a
Speaker 4: conversation with the people who are closest who are trying
Speaker 4: to help you plan that funeral and help you plan
Speaker 4: these services and the cremation and stuff, and going, hey, like,
Speaker 4: should I just be keeping track of this because there
Speaker 4: are a couple of things that could happen. So obviously
Speaker 4: when a death happens, not everything financial happens at exactly
Speaker 4: the same time. What you can do is keep track
Speaker 4: of all of those costs and then get repaid by
Speaker 4: your father's estate. And so that would mean like if
Speaker 4: I spent you know, let's call it just ten thousand dollars,
Speaker 4: because that's the average cost of the new Zealand funeral.
Speaker 4: I pay ten thousand dollars, keep track of it, keep
Speaker 4: all your receipts and everything. And when your dad's estate
Speaker 4: is being you know, broken down and given out, before
Speaker 4: that happens, you get repaid that ten thousand dollars before
Speaker 4: anybody else gets like an inheritance. So that could come
Speaker 4: from whatever savings your dad had, whatever KEYWI say that
Speaker 4: he had, whatever kind of assets he has, if you're
Speaker 4: planning on selling them or you know, liquidating them to cash,
Speaker 4: or maybe you even just do it in lieu of assets,
Speaker 4: maybe you get first choice. This all all have to
Speaker 4: be done through your solicitor or through you know, whoever
Speaker 4: is dealing with the family estate, but it can be repaid.
Speaker 4: You will have to go through a process for that
Speaker 4: to make sure it all gets done properly, because you
Speaker 4: don't want some one coming back later and being like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, well Beck got ten thousand dollars more
Speaker 4: than me. Like, no, Beck was repaid the money that
Speaker 4: she spent for that process to happen, and that's actually
Speaker 4: really fair. You didn't get more, ye, because you just
Speaker 4: got repaid the money that you spent on that process.
Speaker 4: So essentially that can happen. But obviously that can only
Speaker 4: happen if your dad does have an estate to share
Speaker 4: with you, and in the case that there is no
Speaker 4: estate that could pay it back. So in a state
Speaker 4: is just a fancy word for saying stuff that the
Speaker 4: person who passed away had, So that could be money
Speaker 4: or houses or literally any type of asset. If there's
Speaker 4: no money there to repay that, you could just have
Speaker 4: a good conversation with your family and go, hey, like,
Speaker 4: I'm keeping track of this. So either the estate can
Speaker 4: pay it back and they might go, oh, well, just
Speaker 4: there's no estate, and they might come back and go, okay, well,
Speaker 4: maybe the family could help. Another way of doing this
Speaker 4: is to announce when the funeral is happening that you
Speaker 4: can actually contribute to the funeral costs. So you could say,
Speaker 4: you know, in lieu of flowers, we'd love a donation
Speaker 4: towards the funeral cost for XYZ, and that could go
Speaker 4: towards paying the costs. So I think there's a few
Speaker 4: things that you could do. The first thing I would
Speaker 4: honestly do is look at bereavement services and make sure
Speaker 4: that you know if there's anything local to you that
Speaker 4: you could access. We do that I'd also be having
Speaker 4: a chat to the funeral home that you're working with,
Speaker 4: because if anyone's going to have experience in what you
Speaker 4: can access and what you can't, it's going to be them.
Speaker 4: And maybe they might even have a level of sympathy
Speaker 4: that you didn't expect them to have, and them I go, wow,
Speaker 4: we didn't realize you're in this circumstance. Let's see what
Speaker 4: we can do to help. But I think just talking
Speaker 4: about it and just seeing how people can help you
Speaker 4: is probably the best thing that you can do because
Speaker 4: obviously I don't know where in New Zealand you are
Speaker 4: or how that works, but I guess, long story short,
Speaker 4: I'm really sorry that that's the circumstance and it does
Speaker 4: really suck. But unfortunately these things happen, and we should
Speaker 4: be having these conversations about, well, what does this mean?
Speaker 4: How does this work? Like these things unfortunately happen every
Speaker 4: single week in our community, and if you don't know,
Speaker 4: you just don't know, and we need to have a
Speaker 4: conversation about Okay, well these are the first steps. Okay,
Speaker 4: Well make sure that you're in, you know, the best
Speaker 4: possible position. This is why people should be doing their
Speaker 4: wills and making sure that things are planned out because
Speaker 4: I personally know that I wouldn't want my family members
Speaker 4: having to pay for my funeral because I hadn't planned it,
Speaker 4: Like I just I don't want to put my family
Speaker 4: in that position and then not have it on the
Speaker 4: other side. But most people don't think about this because
Speaker 4: it's awkward to think about death, right, Yeah, no one
Speaker 4: wants to have this conversation, and that's okay if you're
Speaker 4: not ready. But I think it's it's something that we
Speaker 4: do need to plan for. But then also we need
Speaker 4: to talk about the flip side of that. Maybe we
Speaker 4: do a whole episode on this, because I think that
Speaker 4: there's a lot of unexpected costs in death that we
Speaker 4: don't talk about. But then also, what about all of
Speaker 4: the people that are currently being taken for a ride
Speaker 4: if they have funeral insurance? Like that to me makes
Speaker 4: absolutely no sense. What do you mean funeral insurance? So
Speaker 4: the amount of times I have spoken to people and
Speaker 4: they're like, oh, we found out years later while going
Speaker 4: through mums stuff that she had funeral insurance, but we
Speaker 4: didn't know about that because the insurance company when she
Speaker 4: passed away didn't step up didn't notify us. We had
Speaker 4: no information, it wasn't in her will, and they're not
Speaker 4: going to pay it out if it's already happened, right,
Speaker 4: And usually if you're getting funeral insurance, it might be
Speaker 4: because you're a little bit older and you want to
Speaker 4: look after your family and you're talked into this great policy.
Speaker 4: But from my perspective, there's only two things in life
Speaker 4: that are certain taxes and death. Why are we ensuring
Speaker 4: for something that's guaranteed to happen. So, Like, we talk
Speaker 4: about insurance a lot on this podcast, and obviously I'm
Speaker 4: the biggest fan of income protection. I think it's the
Speaker 4: best insurance for me personally, right, I think everybody should
Speaker 4: be looking into whether they can get it or not.
Speaker 4: But when an insurer gives you an insurance policy, they're
Speaker 4: kind of hedging their bets. They're like, all right, beck,
Speaker 4: you got any pre existing conditions. You'll be like no,
Speaker 4: I'm fit and healthy. I'm great, And then they go, yeah,
Speaker 4: all right, well we'll ensure you for X amount per month.
Speaker 4: They're hedging their bets that nothing's going to happen to you,
Speaker 4: because financially they're going to end up in the best
Speaker 4: possible financial position if nothing happens to be and then
Speaker 4: they might go, oh, yess, have you had anything happened
Speaker 4: to you? And you might say, yeah, actually I rolled
Speaker 4: my ankle a heap of times at netball, and that's compromise,
Speaker 4: and they go, oh, jess, we're not going to cover
Speaker 4: your ankle. We're going to exclude that because we don't
Speaker 4: want the possibility of us having to pay you out
Speaker 4: to increase death is guaranteed. Why are we in this
Speaker 4: position where we are literally ensuring it in a way
Speaker 4: that it gets paid out as an insurance premium.
Speaker 2: Right, just like put money aside for the funeral. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4: I feel like so many people get taken for a
Speaker 4: ride because they're trying to do the right thing and
Speaker 4: they get this beautiful policy and you know, covers up
Speaker 4: to fifteen thousand dollars. That makes them feel really good.
Speaker 4: But what the insurance policy is betting on this is
Speaker 4: really morbid. Is it's going to take you a really
Speaker 4: long time to die. That's what they're betting on. They
Speaker 4: are betting on the fact that all right, Beck, do
Speaker 4: you want to organize this funeral insurance? Okay, Well, it's
Speaker 4: you know, x amount per month. They're hoping that you
Speaker 4: pay more in premiums before you die than what that
Speaker 4: actually dying exactly right. So I think it's something that
Speaker 4: we could all think about, and it's something that you know,
Speaker 4: emergency funds as you get older could be you know,
Speaker 4: allocated towards or making sure that you have cash aside.
Speaker 4: But there's a lot I have to say on the
Speaker 4: death industry. You could say and how during times that
Speaker 4: people are most vulnerable, because our listener is vulnerable right now,
Speaker 4: right like she needs someone to grab her by the
Speaker 4: hand and be like, I've got you and I have
Speaker 4: your best interests at heart. But there are a lot
Speaker 4: of people out there that would take your hand and go,
Speaker 4: I've got your best interests at heart, and they really don't.
Speaker 4: M So it's so sad, a terrible conversation to have,
Speaker 4: but it's one that genuinely as a community, we need
Speaker 4: to have these conversations more often because you could find
Speaker 4: yourself in a pickle. But there are lots of things,
Speaker 4: As I said, there are a few different bereavement services
Speaker 4: out there. Talk to your funeral home, talk to your family,
Speaker 4: and actually just have an open, honest monding conversation be like,
Speaker 4: this is putting a lot of financial pressure on me.
Speaker 4: Maybe they don't even know.
Speaker 2: Well, I didn't know WoT you wouldn't know? Who know?
Speaker 4: If you've never been through it. I'm so glad that
Speaker 4: you've never been through it. You've never been through it,
Speaker 4: and then you're going through it like how you meant
Speaker 4: to know?
Speaker 2: Right? Yeah, exactly. I think it's really solid advice. I
Speaker 2: really do hope that she takes something out of that,
Speaker 2: and I really am sorry for your circumstances. We're sending
Speaker 2: you lots of love, lots of love.
Speaker 4: To anyone going through circumstances like that. At the moment,
Speaker 4: it's just really trashy. It's not a good place to be.
Speaker 4: All right, Let's bring the mood up though, because that
Speaker 4: was a really good segment. But we have to change
Speaker 4: tunes completely because our dms got really lit up this
Speaker 4: week because a lot of people have a lot of
Speaker 4: things to say. So our community dilemma this week went
Speaker 4: like this, High Team, I'm battling extreme levels of jealousy
Speaker 4: that I haven't ever felt before. I'm really happy for
Speaker 4: my housemate who's climbing the career ladder. Quite rapidly, which
Speaker 4: she absolutely deserves. She's gotten a twenty thousand dollars pay rise,
Speaker 4: and I'm so happy for her, but I can't help
Speaker 4: but feel so jealous. I'm still studying and I make
Speaker 4: around thirty seven thousand dollars a year. She is now
Speaker 4: on a really good six figure salary, and I can't
Speaker 4: help but feel annoyed when she texts me saying it's
Speaker 4: my turn to buy toilet paper, et cetera, because she
Speaker 4: just makes so much more money than me, and I
Speaker 4: just think, why can't she help me out and buy it.
Speaker 4: I guess I'm just wondering does equity apply in friendships
Speaker 4: like it does in relationships? We did some polling, didn't we?
Speaker 4: We did do some polling. So the first pole question
Speaker 4: we asked was what's your current living situation? Fifteen percent
Speaker 4: of you lucky ducks said you lived on your own. Jealous,
Speaker 4: fourteen percent of you said that you lived in a sharehouse.
Speaker 4: Sixty one percent of you you live with partners, and
Speaker 4: ten percent of you are other, which I assume maybe,
Speaker 4: like you know, random situations, live with parents.
Speaker 2: Whatever.
Speaker 4: The next question we asked you, guys, was if you
Speaker 4: live with a partner, does one of you earn a
Speaker 4: lot more than the other, and forty three percent of
Speaker 4: you said yes, my partner earns more than me. Thirty
Speaker 4: percent of you said yes, I earned more than my partner,
Speaker 4: and twenty seven percent said we're actually pretty even tbh.
Speaker 4: The next question we asked was, if you live in
Speaker 4: a share house, do you have a housemate that makes
Speaker 4: a lot more money than you? Thirty one percent of
Speaker 4: you said yes, my housemate makes a lot more, thirty
Speaker 4: three percent said I'm the housemate that makes a lot more,
Speaker 4: thirty six percent said we are all on pretty even income.
Speaker 2: That's pretty even split over response, I's pretty sure.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was like nice, little thirds.
Speaker 6: I liked.
Speaker 4: That made my little math's brain very happy. But guys,
Speaker 4: before we go to the community spicy responses, what are
Speaker 4: your thoughts.
Speaker 2: I just I'm trying to be nice. I just don't
Speaker 2: know why.
Speaker 5: I understand the jealousy absolutely, Like I can see how
Speaker 5: being in close proximity to someone that you perceive to
Speaker 5: be doing better than you absolutely can raise those feelings,
Speaker 5: and that's very normal. I think the thing to consider
Speaker 5: here is, though you're not that person's responsibility, and as
Speaker 5: much as your housemates and your friends, and yes, we
Speaker 5: want to look out for our friends. Ultimately, she is
Speaker 5: in that place because of the choices that she has made,
Speaker 5: and she's not a millionaire.
Speaker 2: Like if you've got if you've got so much.
Speaker 5: Money that spending money on things doesn't matter to you,
Speaker 5: you're probably not living with a housemate. So even though
Speaker 5: if you are, you're probably living some kind of sex
Speaker 5: in the city lifestyle that we want to know about it. Yeah,
Speaker 5: so I feel like, yes, potentially she's earning six figures,
Speaker 5: but does she have Hex's debt, does she have other debt?
Speaker 5: Is she saving for something that means her budget is
Speaker 5: really strict? I just I don't think it is reasonable
Speaker 5: to make yourself somebody else's financial response. And yes, the
Speaker 5: cost of toilet paper is arguably negligible, but if you're
Speaker 5: using it equally, in my opinion, it should be split equally.
Speaker 5: The only time that is different is if you're with
Speaker 5: a partner, and in that situation, it's more about.
Speaker 4: Parker's hot Is that what you mean?
Speaker 5: It's more about joint finance's joint goals, and the money
Speaker 5: is pulled and shared, Whereas if you're living with a HOUSEMTE,
Speaker 5: you're operating I'm assuming independently financial and as human beings.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's where I feel like the big.
Speaker 5: Difference is, Yeah, I can't fathom going you earn more
Speaker 5: than me and therefore you need to buy me things. Yeah,
Speaker 5: I do agree with that, even though I'm kind of
Speaker 5: oversimplifying it, do you know?
Speaker 4: No, man, that's kind of it. Why can't you help
Speaker 4: me out? And like that's me reading into the tone
Speaker 4: of the message, I suppose, and I really shouldn't do that.
Speaker 4: But the idea that you think she owes you toilet paper,
Speaker 4: because you use that as an example, like, I've got
Speaker 4: my opinions and I'm actually gonna wait until Beck's there.
Speaker 4: But the idea that she owes you that makes you
Speaker 4: a blood boil.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's the thing. But it's I totally
Speaker 2: get it as well, Jess. Like, as you said, I
Speaker 2: know that feeling of feeling so like how are you
Speaker 2: there in your life? Yeah, I'm here, and you just
Speaker 2: feel really inadequate and really really crappy. So I completely
Speaker 2: that feeling that on its own totally fine. If you're
Speaker 2: in a sharehouse and like let's say this person, you
Speaker 2: know they made it twenty thousand dollars pay rise, and
Speaker 2: now they're expected to up there I suppose like what
Speaker 2: they're contributing to the house, and like it's like the
Speaker 2: expenses have gone up and then their pay's gone up,
Speaker 2: and like they're kind of just breaking even, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean. I know that buying toilet paper isn't
Speaker 2: gonna it's they're not gonna be breaking even there. But
Speaker 2: like if if you're expecting that of someone who's made
Speaker 2: a twenty k pay rise to then chip in way
Speaker 2: more for the house and chip in way more for
Speaker 2: like going out for drinks with mates and chipping in,
Speaker 2: Like where does where do you draw the line? He's
Speaker 2: just saying, like, oh, maybe they're like hounding me for
Speaker 2: you know, to buy toilet roll and things like that.
Speaker 2: I get that that can be annoying, But where do
Speaker 2: you draw the line if they if you're saying they
Speaker 2: need to buy the they should buy the toilet roll
Speaker 2: if they if we're lacking, they should buy this. If
Speaker 2: we're lacking, Like, what are you expecting from them? You know,
Speaker 2: they've just they've done this really cool thing. They've got
Speaker 2: a huge pay rise, you know, just celebrate that and
Speaker 2: everything else should be exactly the same. Just split everything.
Speaker 2: Just split everything.
Speaker 5: You're in a share house, yeah you share, that's it,
Speaker 5: Jump on beam it and just split everything.
Speaker 4: I couldn't agree more. I feel like you guys that Like,
Speaker 4: I'm just going to basically reiterate everything that you said.
Speaker 4: The fact that you know about your housemate's salary increase, though,
Speaker 4: that's a privilege, not every You don't deserve to know
Speaker 4: about her financial circumstances. She was probably so excited to
Speaker 4: share that with you and was like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 4: v I got this pay rise and I'm so excited
Speaker 4: about it. That didn't mean that she was telling you
Speaker 4: so she could afford to pay for more things for you.
Speaker 4: She's you know, excited about her journey. And you know
Speaker 4: we were saying before that, oh she did this really
Speaker 4: good thing. That doesn't mean you're not doing really good things.
Speaker 4: It just means you're on different journeys. Like maybe your
Speaker 4: time hasn't come to have that income yet because you're
Speaker 4: still at UNI. And I remember when I was at UNI.
Speaker 4: It's crazy. I was at Uni. I was earning a
Speaker 4: fair bit because I was working so many hours. It's
Speaker 4: just like a retail job. But for a UNI student,
Speaker 4: I wasn't like super you know, living on rice and
Speaker 4: noodles all the time. I had enough money to buy,
Speaker 4: you know, the nicer groceries. But I lived with a
Speaker 4: housemate who was working full time, and at no point
Speaker 4: did I ever expect them to contribute more. Like it
Speaker 4: was just not the situation. It's just you pay for
Speaker 4: your stuff. I'll pay for my stuff. We're housemates, and
Speaker 4: I guess it comes down to I've been asked similar
Speaker 4: questions historically, and I do not believe that you should
Speaker 4: have any level of financial dependency on someone that you're
Speaker 4: not building a financial future with. Like if Jess moved
Speaker 4: in with me, I would expect her to pay the
Speaker 4: rent that we agreed to contribute equally to the household
Speaker 4: bills and if the household chores and whatever else is
Speaker 4: going on, whether I earned more or she earned more,
Speaker 4: I don't only think it matters because we entered into
Speaker 4: this agreement when Jess moved in with me. I'm not
Speaker 4: paying more of Jess's stuff, and vice versa. Just isn't
Speaker 4: paying more of my stuff because we don't have shared
Speaker 4: big financial life goals. No, I'm not saving for a
Speaker 4: home with Jess. I'm not, you know, saving my emergency
Speaker 4: fund for Jess. I'm not doing those things. I'm doing
Speaker 4: that for me. And then I get in a relationship
Speaker 4: with Steve, that dynamic can change because now Steve and
Speaker 4: I are on the same life path just and I aren't.
Speaker 4: What happens if I, you know, like, let's slip it,
Speaker 4: Let's flip it, and I'm I'm really happy to pay
Speaker 4: for Jess. Let's pretend that I'm the most generous person
Speaker 4: in the entire world and just moves in with me,
Speaker 4: and I go, oh, Jess, you don't know and as
Speaker 4: much as me, So I'm going to pay for everything.
Speaker 4: Is that creating a financially independent woman who needs no
Speaker 4: man don't have.
Speaker 2: A power imbalance as well?
Speaker 4: There's a massive power imbalance to that, Like, I'm I
Speaker 4: don't want to pay for your stuff because above and
Speaker 4: beyond the fact that it's not my responsibility. I'm not
Speaker 4: your parents, you're not in minor. That creates a power balance.
Speaker 4: What are you going to ever move out?
Speaker 2: Jess?
Speaker 4: You've probably got it too good. I just I feel
Speaker 4: like the toilet paper really grinds my gears as well,
Speaker 4: because that's an equal use, basic necessity of a household, right,
Speaker 4: like you should be paying for that. But that's where
Speaker 4: I draw the line, Like sharing expenses fine, but if
Speaker 4: you're more wealthy, housemate comes home and says, oh, Yess,
Speaker 4: I want to get Uber eats Friday night, had the
Speaker 4: biggest week at work, and you know, I can't really
Speaker 4: afford it, and they still really want to do it.
Speaker 4: I think that's their expense. I don't mean that, oh,
Speaker 4: you shouldn't be contributing to it, but if they want
Speaker 4: to go do an activity and I go, no, Jess,
Speaker 4: I really want to do it with you. I think
Speaker 4: that your housemates should be paying for that experience if
Speaker 4: it's not in your budget and you've been clear about
Speaker 4: what that looks like and how that works, because that's
Speaker 4: not fair, Like that's not fair to then be like, oh,
Speaker 4: I want Jess to match my lifestyle. Ye when she
Speaker 4: doesn't have that income to support that lifestyle, I think
Speaker 4: then you know, maybe go hang out with your friends
Speaker 4: who can afford ubreats if you want to split it equally.
Speaker 4: But you know, I love hanging out with somebody who
Speaker 4: isn't on the stay. I will pay for that experience
Speaker 4: and I think that that can extend to housemates, Like
Speaker 4: if they were arguing that they need the most expensive
Speaker 4: toilet paper.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm just gonna say that's the upgrading of products.
Speaker 5: Like if you're like, I just want home brand one ply,
Speaker 5: I don't care sandpaper, but toilet paper. It's in my
Speaker 5: budget and that's fine, and their friends like I want
Speaker 5: the gold rimmed, yeah, hand woven toilet paper, then you're okay,
Speaker 5: that's a different story.
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, Like I just I'm making the assumption that
Speaker 4: it's just like base level, like we're just buying the
Speaker 4: stuff that you know, both of you would normally buy anyway,
Speaker 4: it's not yeah, the upgrade. We're not going from having
Speaker 4: you know, a normal dinner to oh well, actually my
Speaker 4: housemate keeps putting salmon philets on the weekly grocery budget
Speaker 4: and I have to split that. Like, to me, that's
Speaker 4: a different story if they were expecting you to match
Speaker 4: their lifestyle.
Speaker 2: Also she's texting you to say it's your turn for
Speaker 2: toilet paper.
Speaker 5: I'm just setting carrying the mental load a little bit
Speaker 5: there too, because like I've been in that situation in
Speaker 5: a housemate setting where one person is always the one
Speaker 5: who notices that something's missing or notices that you're about
Speaker 5: to run out, and is therefore then the person who
Speaker 5: starts carrying the load, because they're always the one.
Speaker 4: That goes, oh yeah, if she's texting you asking you
Speaker 4: to do it and you have yeah, you're right. I
Speaker 4: feel like the DM didn't expect us to have this
Speaker 4: response when what about your house mate?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: But yeah, do you know what? I used to be
Speaker 4: the housemate that would text people be like, hey, it's
Speaker 4: your turn to X.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Also, as somebody who sometimes has earned more than some
Speaker 4: of my friends, I am so happy to be generous.
Speaker 4: I actually love it. I really love being able to
Speaker 4: be like, oh no, Beck, I'll grab a coffee or
Speaker 4: you know, oh Jess, I'll do this, Like that's fine.
Speaker 4: Second you expect it, I'll cut you off.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: The second anybody's like, oh, well we can pay, I
Speaker 4: do not think so. Yeah, that is not how this
Speaker 4: relationship works.
Speaker 2: That's so true. Does that make sense?
Speaker 4: And I feel like that's a really common like if
Speaker 4: you're doing that to your housemate, your housemate has picked
Speaker 4: up on that vibe. If I was your housemate, I'd
Speaker 4: be like, no, got off?
Speaker 5: So what did everyone else say, tod, we're being really gentle.
Speaker 4: That so someone DMed us. I'm not even reading a
Speaker 4: lot of the responses that came through in our like
Speaker 4: our question box, because it's too short. Everybody actually just
Speaker 4: sent us along with the DM. So sit down. Oh
Speaker 4: hell no, she is financially responsible for her friends. Everyone
Speaker 4: has choices, and she chose to study in e minimal
Speaker 4: money wid Oh like, everyone does have choices, Like, of
Speaker 4: course you chose to study. Of course, the choice to
Speaker 4: study means compromising other areas of your life. But I
Speaker 4: feel like it's just everyone's on a different journey and
Speaker 4: that's okay. I mean that was a aggressive response. That's fine.
Speaker 4: Someone else said, when you moved in with your housemate,
Speaker 4: you agreed to split expenses equally. If you don't have
Speaker 4: shared finances or financial goals, it needs to stay equal.
Speaker 4: Your housemates shouldn't have to carry more of a load
Speaker 4: because they have more resources. It would be nice of
Speaker 4: them if they did, but they may be working hard
Speaker 4: towards a goal where every single saint counts. My husband
Speaker 4: can't work right now, and I pay for everything because
Speaker 4: we are a team and have entirely shared finances. But
Speaker 4: if he was my roommate, I wouldn't be paying his way.
Speaker 4: I know they may seem like small things, but if
Speaker 4: that's what you'd agreed on, you need to respect them
Speaker 4: and their finances. I like the comment where she said,
Speaker 4: I'm paying for my husband for everything if he was
Speaker 4: my housemate.
Speaker 5: Hell no, that's like a clear in my mind, there
Speaker 5: is a clear delineation between you working towards something with
Speaker 5: someone and you just kind of coexisting in the same space,
Speaker 5: and housemates are coexisting doing their best, but on their
Speaker 5: own path, and therefore you should be responsible for your
Speaker 5: and shit.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Another person said in a sharehouse, split everything evenly and
Speaker 4: make a toilet paper roster. I feel like this is
Speaker 4: getting petty, like a star chart if they're like paper roster.
Speaker 2: Like I have lived in a house with a star
Speaker 2: chart before.
Speaker 4: No, you have not, have you? Yes, a star chart?
Speaker 5: I implemented, that's really cute.
Speaker 4: How did you get cute? You get to regressive as hell?
Speaker 2: Jesse? Why did we have star charts?
Speaker 5: There were two housemates who were doing it all, carrying
Speaker 5: the load, and there was one housemate who was just
Speaker 5: not at it with the naughty kid. Yeah, exactly, And
Speaker 5: it's when there are three girls sharing a bathroom. You
Speaker 5: know what, sometimes you just got to find a way
Speaker 5: to equalize it, because.
Speaker 2: It's that's fair.
Speaker 4: What do you get if you filled up your star chart?
Speaker 2: Ah, when it wasn't that fun of a star chart.
Speaker 2: It was it if you get stars, it's that I
Speaker 2: did my chores this week. That's so cute. That's very embarrassing.
Speaker 4: Hot girlshit, hot girl shit. All right, So this one
Speaker 4: in said in a sharehouse, split everything evenly and make
Speaker 4: a toilet paper roster. It helps people feel like they're
Speaker 4: not the only one buying, and you just get into
Speaker 4: a mechanical routine. It's not personal and not a repeated
Speaker 4: internal battle. Any super outstanding extras that only one person uses.
Speaker 4: So for example, my housemate has a car, so she
Speaker 4: gets car space, they can pay extra. If it's only
Speaker 4: one slight, one person uses air con slightly more than
Speaker 4: the other, then that's just life, and it's fair to
Speaker 4: split it even at the end of the day. That's
Speaker 4: what you agreed to, regardless of incomes or whether someone
Speaker 4: is profiting slash playing less or more because they're subleasing.
Speaker 2: That's a very thorough covers it all.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Someone then said I feel like the way or the
Speaker 4: tone of some of these messages is just not vibing
Speaker 4: with me, Like I feel like I'm being personally attacked.
Speaker 2: Yeah, even though I'm not kind of scary. We've all
Speaker 2: had a shit housemate and it's.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, So this one said your choices have left
Speaker 4: you with a lower income. That's not her responsibility to
Speaker 4: pay for you. I say this because I have been
Speaker 4: both the friends in this situation. She probably has goals
Speaker 4: and she shouldn't have to compromise them because you're a
Speaker 4: UNI student who just earns less. I'm saying this as
Speaker 4: I'm now a full time UNI student who actually earns
Speaker 4: seventy thousand dollars a year, which in itself is a
Speaker 4: very privileged position to be. I like that you've disclaimed
Speaker 4: it that thank you, But I wouldn't expect my friends
Speaker 4: to be buying things for me just because they earn more,
Speaker 4: and being a UNI student working full time, it's really hard.
Speaker 4: I want to use any excess I have in my
Speaker 4: income to get a head in life and on myself,
Speaker 4: which I think is very fair.
Speaker 5: Slong and short of it is, sorry to tell you this,
Speaker 5: but no, she's not in a favor, dole of favor.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there were lots of other messages that said, this
Speaker 4: is gross, this is weird, this really irks me, And
Speaker 4: I think I think it does because, as you said, yes,
Speaker 4: we've all had a shitty housemate. Remember the time I
Speaker 4: told you about my housemate who decided to become vegan
Speaker 4: one weekend and throughout.
Speaker 2: All of the food in my freeze us yea, yeah.
Speaker 4: Like we've all been there, right. She also used to
Speaker 4: borrow my underwear, but that's a different story for a
Speaker 4: different very gay But I do think that that conversation,
Speaker 4: it kind of makes sense that it came up in
Speaker 4: our community because it's kind of like, oh, I can
Speaker 4: see why, you know, if you're in a position where
Speaker 4: you're like, oh, I'm just finding it really hard to
Speaker 4: make ends meat and she's not, Like I can see
Speaker 4: why that's come up. Because we always have the conversation
Speaker 4: about equity versus equality in relationships, and I do believe
Speaker 4: that those things need to be taken into consideration. Like
Speaker 4: I don't believe that if your partner earns your your
Speaker 4: life partner earns more money than you, that it should
Speaker 4: be split fifty to fifty. I just don't think that
Speaker 4: that is an equitable way of creating I guess independence
Speaker 4: and an equitable relationship. I do think that things should
Speaker 4: be split a little bit differently, but I do not
Speaker 4: believe that that should happen in a housemate situation. Like,
Speaker 4: you've got no idea. Also, you're only making that assumption
Speaker 4: because you know what she earns. Yeah, that circumstance would
Speaker 4: not be different if she'd never disclosed what she was
Speaker 4: earning and you just made an assumption she was also
Speaker 4: on thirty seven thousand dollars because she was in a
Speaker 4: grab position, right, that wouldn't have come up. And money
Speaker 4: is private. Money is often really secret. Like, how do
Speaker 4: you know that your other housemate that is also UNI
Speaker 4: with you and you haven't spoken to her? You just
Speaker 4: assume she has not as much money as you. How
Speaker 4: do you know she doesn't have a trust fund? Yeah,
Speaker 4: and she's actually worth millions. She just hasn't said anything
Speaker 4: because she's managing her money. Well, maybe she's actually made
Speaker 4: your business exactly. Maybe she's Beyonce and you just don't know.
Speaker 4: But like money and other people's money is none of
Speaker 4: your business unless they've chosen to share with you. And
Speaker 4: if they have shared that with you. It is a
Speaker 4: privilege that you shouldn't be abusing.
Speaker 5: Yeah, good on you for thinking critically about finances, but
Speaker 5: on this one it is a no from us.
Speaker 2: If we could get about Bao right here, that would
Speaker 2: be great.
Speaker 4: Nah.
Speaker 5: I like that.
Speaker 4: I like the one we did.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, self is nice. Sorry about so so, thank
Speaker 2: you so much writing and we really see where you're
Speaker 2: coming from. And I hope that we weren't too harsh.
Speaker 2: We were really harsh. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry. Let's go all right, have a beautiful weekend.
Speaker 2: Guys.
Speaker 4: We will see you on Monday for a money diary.
Speaker 4: We love you, Bye bye. Did buy shared on She's
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