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Speaker 1: This is Will and Woody. Good afternoon everyone yet, Will

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Speaker 1: and what are you getting you guys? So I we've

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Speaker 1: got a very very special guest who's going to join

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Speaker 1: us in the studio.

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Speaker 2: Just have it. Just hit my tooth with my water bottle.

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Speaker 2: Will go on with the show.

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Speaker 3: Okay, great, Jess Malboy's.

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Speaker 1: Coming in the studio.

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Speaker 3: Looking forward to having her in here.

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Speaker 1: We've been spinning a whole lot of little things and

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Speaker 1: woods she and I hatched I think my favorite stitch

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Speaker 1: up of the air. Obviously it was on you people.

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Speaker 1: I haven't seen it online Instagram, Facebook, Will and Woody.

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Speaker 1: I will explain all of that a little bit later on.

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Speaker 1: Shall we talk about the Queen?

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Speaker 2: Sure? All right? The Queen?

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Speaker 1: I got classically clickbaited this morning. Yeah, classically click baited.

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Speaker 2: You always fall into that, Will, Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Clickbaited with this Sorry about the queen?

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Speaker 1: And this other story that said earth shattering bikini that

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Speaker 1: should be illegal?

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Speaker 3: Did you get done with that one as well?

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Speaker 2: No, because I'm a professional, Will shut up.

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Speaker 3: It's like the number one story on news dot com.

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Speaker 1: I think seventy five percent of men globally got done

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Speaker 1: with that story.

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Speaker 2: I know what you're talking about.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, what was with the beginning, Well, if you

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Speaker 1: clicked you would have found out.

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Speaker 3: But the queen.

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Speaker 1: The headline of the story was photo of the Queen

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Speaker 1: is so damaging that it could destroy the monarchy. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: obviously I'm clicking on that. It turns out it was garbage.

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Speaker 1: It was just it was a photo of her doing

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Speaker 1: exclusive for Hello magazine. And the really controversial thing about

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Speaker 1: the whole photo was a that she had her hands

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Speaker 1: in her pockets.

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Speaker 2: What's wrong with them? In your hands in your pockets?

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Speaker 2: Against like royal protocol? Oh, like dodgy business, like doing

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Speaker 2: a couple of deals.

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Speaker 1: No, just just a bit casual. Oh, how is having

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Speaker 1: your hands in pockets?

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Speaker 2: Do you think it's always bit dodgy when people have

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Speaker 2: hands in their pockets? Like, what's in your pockets? Empty

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Speaker 2: your pockets?

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Speaker 3: No, I don't think anyone thinks that.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So she's got her hands in her pockets and

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Speaker 1: she's just laughing.

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Speaker 3: She looks really cute, and she looks she's having a

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Speaker 3: good time.

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Speaker 4: Nice.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think it just kind of goes against

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Speaker 1: the whole royal protocol, being of show that the monarch's

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Speaker 1: meant to be dark and brooding and ominous and you

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Speaker 1: know regal, you know, that's the whole point of being

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Speaker 1: the queen. And they're saying the fact that she looks

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Speaker 1: a little bit jovial is sort of, you know, detracting

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Speaker 1: from how omnipotent the monarch is meant to be.

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Speaker 2: So that's such a shame they have those rules there

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Speaker 2: you can't have fun because it takes away from your power.

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Speaker 3: I could not agree more.

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at her, going like, what, you've been the

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Speaker 1: longest reigning monarch ever, you're ninety odd. The world's in peace, Like,

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Speaker 1: who cares?

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Speaker 2: Have a smile, have a laugh, agree more?

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Speaker 3: What do you think makes the queen abby?

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Speaker 2: I think a stiff g and T before ten.

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Speaker 3: We heard that she has. We heard that she has

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Speaker 3: gin before ten o'clock.

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Speaker 2: It loves a G and T with her morning tea. Appah,

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Speaker 2: I love her whole routine sounds awesome.

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Speaker 3: It just sounds brilliant, doesn't it.

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Speaker 1: And I was thinking about this Woods, I was thinking, like, God,

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Speaker 1: you know, talking about the queen having fun and smiling

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Speaker 1: and stuff.

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Speaker 3: It's a wonderful topic. And it sort of made me

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Speaker 3: think about a talent that you have.

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Speaker 2: No not again, I think there's a.

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Speaker 3: Talent that you have.

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Speaker 2: Just it just stresses me out.

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Speaker 3: It's so joyful.

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Speaker 1: There's a talent you have where you can parody songs

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Speaker 1: with news stories. You merge great songs with news stories

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Speaker 1: and you make them sound good. I mean, here's you

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Speaker 1: parodying Taylor Swift talking about men's stubble in the sink,

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Speaker 1: and I just.

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Speaker 2: Found your stubble in the sink again. It's all over

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Speaker 2: the cold hardcrown.

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Speaker 3: I mean, it's good.

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Speaker 1: Get it was good stuff. I mean, you've had some shockers.

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Speaker 1: You've had some shockers. I'm not going to play the

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Speaker 1: edge here in Lego House one. I wouldn't play the

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Speaker 1: edge here House one.

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't do it.

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Speaker 1: But what I would like you to do, if you're

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Speaker 1: up for the challenge, because the people who are just

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Speaker 1: joined the show they may not have heard this before.

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Speaker 3: I would like you to parody the song happy Absolutely Belts.

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Speaker 3: It was number one for fifty weeks or whatever.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, great song.

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Speaker 3: I'd love you to.

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Speaker 1: Parody that song with the queen. What do you mean

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Speaker 1: with the queen, Well, the queen's your inspiration.

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Speaker 3: You just have to do. Maybe the queen's singing the

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Speaker 3: song Happy.

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Speaker 2: So I'm going a parody up. You're the Queen and

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Speaker 2: I am the Queen, and I'm singing why I'm happy

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Speaker 2: as the Queen.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, it's actually quite hard now I think about it.

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Speaker 2: Is this going to be too hard to listen to?

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Speaker 2: If I do it in the Queen's voice?

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Speaker 1: Nothing could be harder to listen to than when you

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Speaker 1: did Lego House as Prince Harry.

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Speaker 2: My dad becomes King of England, move into a bigger house.

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Speaker 2: Camilla will do Reynolds and she'll knock it down.

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Speaker 5: I think that's shock.

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Speaker 3: Why do you keeping horrible? All right? So here we go.

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Speaker 1: You're doing song. Here's doing the song Happy Bye. Varah

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Speaker 1: Williams as the Queen, changing the lyrics.

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Speaker 3: Are you ready?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 3: Said, let's do it.

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Speaker 6: I'm que two and I want to say I'm full

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Speaker 6: blown bonkers about the UK, wear crazy jewels, and I

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Speaker 6: hold a mace to big mess pole for Winston church

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Speaker 6: Hill in his place. Nice right, because I'm happy clap along.

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Speaker 6: If all you drink is English breakfast tea, because I'm happy,

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Speaker 6: clever along.

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Speaker 2: If you told Diana not to mess with me, because.

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Speaker 5: I'm happy, clever along. If you and Philip own a

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Speaker 5: corgy or three because I'm happy clap along. If Helen

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Speaker 5: Mirren won an oscar playing me Wow, very good. Here

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Speaker 5: comes Charles talking this and that. Oh yes, well in

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Speaker 5: this moment, bread he wants my job? What a little

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Speaker 5: twat good good ninety three years old, still going strong. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: but controversially, you're actually watch this, I'm anti brexit?

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Speaker 2: Is that so wrong? Because I'm happy clever along?

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Speaker 5: If you love a cheeky middgy and tea because I'm

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Speaker 5: happy clever along. If your ginger grandson dressed up like

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Speaker 5: a Nazi because I'm happy clever along.

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Speaker 2: If you used to be.

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Speaker 5: A mechanic in the war, because I'm happy coverlong. If

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Speaker 5: you think that Camilla is a two faced wow wow mate.

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Speaker 2: That was the best bit of the crime word on air.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely well.

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Speaker 1: I think if you're talking about the Duchess of Cambridge

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Speaker 1: or whatever they're hell, she is probably not.

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Speaker 2: Just rhyme somewhere with war. What about jaw?

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Speaker 3: Camilla is a real.

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Speaker 2: Doesn't mind it?

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Speaker 7: Sure?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we can update that.

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Speaker 1: Actually, what do you think is the worst thing that

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Speaker 1: your partner could say to you before you go to

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Speaker 1: an event?

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Speaker 8: Mmmm?

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Speaker 1: And you know what I'm going to I'm going to

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Speaker 1: change the topic and change the topic slightly. You get

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Speaker 1: a chance there, no, no, But what do you think

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Speaker 1: is the worst thing that your female partner could say

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Speaker 1: to you before you go to it?

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, I've only had female partners, so it doesn't

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Speaker 2: change for me.

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Speaker 3: There was a patch there.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, no, one never went out with them. I reckon.

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Speaker 2: I used to get this all the time. Is that

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Speaker 2: what you're wearing?

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Speaker 7: Oh?

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Speaker 2: And it's like, obviously, this is what I was wearing.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't wearing like a more casual outfit before I

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Speaker 2: went out.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And then you just question yourself. You're like, oh,

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Speaker 2: maybe I am underdressed. I sometimes ask you, Everyone asked

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Speaker 2: me that. I get to work sometimes and people's like,

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Speaker 2: is that what you're wearing to that It's like, yes,

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Speaker 2: this is obviously what I'm missening to me, I haven't

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Speaker 2: got a change of clothes in my bag. That frustrates me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, So that's the worst thing your partner.

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Speaker 2: Can sell you. Okay, it obviously doesn't haven't won it.

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Speaker 3: That's incorrect.

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Speaker 2: What about have fun tonight? Can we ever talk when

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Speaker 2: you get home?

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Speaker 7: Oh? Wow?

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Speaker 8: Wow?

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Speaker 2: And then you to spend the whole night going.

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Speaker 3: What does she want to talk about? Yeah, that's a shucker.

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Speaker 2: Well that's not the one though, No, that's not what

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Speaker 2: I Okay, what about this? Odds for you?

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Speaker 1: Go?

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Speaker 2: My mom's are coming over in the morning to one

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Speaker 2: block the toilet?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that would be quite bad.

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Speaker 3: How often that's happened?

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Speaker 1: When does someone get their mom to come over?

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Speaker 2: Just giving examples, mate, just trying to get examples that

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Speaker 2: obviously hasn't What about.

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Speaker 3: The toilet? Want these examples to be realistic.

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Speaker 2: But might happened. But my mum's coming Maybe she's a

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Speaker 2: weapon toilet unblocker? What about this is a simple one?

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Speaker 2: But I hate this? What time are you going to

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Speaker 2: be home?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's I can't. My girl friend the other day

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Speaker 1: she's like, you know, is it going to be a

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Speaker 1: late night? And I was like, what's the spectrum of

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Speaker 1: late night here? Like, let's just because what I'm calling

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Speaker 1: late night might not be a late night for you.

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Speaker 1: And then she's like, oh, I don't want to set

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Speaker 1: a time, and I was like, well then let's just.

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Speaker 2: Not do it. Yeah, let's just end the conversation.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, which always ends badly. So look, at all. No,

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Speaker 1: you weren't. Look they were all really really good guesses.

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Speaker 1: But no, I'd love to hear from you right now though.

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Speaker 1: Thirty one oh six five is our phone number. What's

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Speaker 1: the worst thing your partner can say to.

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Speaker 3: You before going out?

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Speaker 2: What if she says to you, oh, before you guys,

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Speaker 2: you know, my ex boyfriend's coming over to watch a

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Speaker 2: movie tonight.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, again, unrealistic.

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Speaker 2: That's not that happened to me one time. It's awful, really, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but they were friends, they were buddies, they were bud Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's still stressed me out of it.

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Speaker 3: God, you've had some shockers.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, these are all true examples. I can believe it.

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Speaker 2: A mum come over and unbock the toilet, Brett. What's

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Speaker 2: the worst thing your partner can say to you before

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Speaker 2: you go out?

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Speaker 1: Boys?

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Speaker 4: Friday night, my mates are out the front waiting in

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Speaker 4: the car for me, and she goes.

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Speaker 7: I'm just going to do a bregnancy while you're out.

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Speaker 2: She where's the stress? The stress? Brett? How did you

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Speaker 2: how did she go? Brett? Thankfully it was negative? And

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Speaker 2: how like when she did it? Did you get it?

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Speaker 2: Did you get a text? Brett? Or like when you

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Speaker 2: got home. Did she tell you she made me?

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Speaker 1: Wait?

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Speaker 8: Probably?

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Speaker 7: No?

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Speaker 2: No, no, wait? Would you put you through it?

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Speaker 3: Amazing stuff? Thanks Brett.

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Speaker 1: That's pretty bad. I've got Rachel here in thirty one

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Speaker 1: and six five.

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Speaker 4: Rach.

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Speaker 3: The worst thing you partner can say to you before you.

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Speaker 2: Go out, I have a good night.

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Speaker 1: Oh then, isn't it?

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Speaker 2: And Rachel, do you do this one?

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Speaker 7: No?

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Speaker 2: No, never? You delivered it very well, but you've never done.

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Speaker 3: It, Thanks Rachel. Adam, Adam, the worst thing your partner

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Speaker 3: can say to you before you go out?

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Speaker 8: Here?

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Speaker 9: Are you going?

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Speaker 1: Boys?

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Speaker 2: Good? Mate?

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Speaker 1: So when you're you're about to go out for a night.

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Speaker 2: And so, by the way, I got the kids, I'm.

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Speaker 3: Come on with you.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, Why wouldn't you want your beautiful wife to

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Speaker 2: come with you? Adam, I don't understand this one.

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Speaker 8: You know the boy.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what you're talking about.

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Speaker 2: With the boys. We'll talk off their, Adam, we'll talk off.

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Speaker 3: No, no, you've gone. I look all pretty good.

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Speaker 1: All pretty good, and look, I tell you what. The

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Speaker 1: one that that really struck me the other day is

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Speaker 1: just something. The reason I feel like it's the worst

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Speaker 1: thing to hear is because I feel absolutely helpless when

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Speaker 1: I hear it, and it's I feel like in every relationship,

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Speaker 1: haven't been and it's been the case. It's when you're

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Speaker 1: on the way, it's it's before, it's when the events

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Speaker 1: on the horizon. Yes, and your partner comes to you

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Speaker 1: and she and then she says to you, oh, I.

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Speaker 3: Want to look really hot. I want to look really

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Speaker 3: hot at the event coming up, and that this is bad,

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Speaker 3: This is them talking about themselves.

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Speaker 2: You think it's bad when your partner says to you,

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Speaker 2: I want to look really hot.

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Speaker 6: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Why because I just think it's just it's always just

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Speaker 1: coupled with like a you need to look really hot,

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Speaker 1: which becomes the obsession for the whole night, and then

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Speaker 1: they no matter what you say as the guy in

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Speaker 1: that scenario, there's no amount of affirmation you can give

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Speaker 1: them that they look hot enough for that scenario.

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Speaker 2: I just don't think you're a very good affirm affirmam

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Speaker 2: ad affirm if I'm your girlfriend right now, okay, and

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Speaker 2: I've just tried to put on my hottest stress. I've

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Speaker 2: put I've pulled out all the stuff. Okay, tell me

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Speaker 2: I look beautiful?

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Speaker 3: Will you look?

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Speaker 1: You look?

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Speaker 2: You look absolutely so sarcastic.

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Speaker 1: That was like, you look beautiful, you look gorgeous.

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Speaker 3: I'm not fine, I'm your girlfriend.

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Speaker 2: I've walked in the beautiful. Yes, I've ready to look

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Speaker 2: hot for tonight. I'd actually like be almost like, i'd

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Speaker 2: almost like be shot look away, like I can't look

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Speaker 2: at you. You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, perhaps from outside. Wow.

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Speaker 3: So I need to work on my affirmation. Can I

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Speaker 3: try one more time.

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Speaker 2: And do it with purpose? Will? Passion and purpose? Okay,

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Speaker 2: look at me in the eye. I'm looking at you.

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Speaker 2: Tell me on the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?

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Speaker 3: You are.

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Speaker 2: So bad. Go to the traffic go to the traffic.

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Speaker 1: Woods and I have been invited to the Melbourne cap Carnible.

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Speaker 1: Huge for us wards, absolutely huge. They must have been

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Speaker 1: at the bottom of the barrel when they send us

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Speaker 1: an invite.

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Speaker 2: Definitely a lot of people pulled out.

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Speaker 1: Obviously obviously Hamish Standy couldn't go. So look, we are

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Speaker 1: both required to take a plus one but tragically for everyone,

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Speaker 1: really similar to the to the death of Princess Diana.

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Speaker 1: You resigned from dating recently, and it's sad. It's sad,

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Speaker 1: and you still have to take a plus one of

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Speaker 1: the races though, yes, you still have to take someone

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Speaker 1: with you. So you have decided to take the most

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Speaker 1: taken thing you possibly can and that's a very happily

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Speaker 1: married mum plus mom.

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Speaker 3: And how are you feeling about this?

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Speaker 2: Woods? Really good? And I'm very excited about one of

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Speaker 2: the potential mums who joins us in the studio right now. Hello, Anna, Hello, Hello.

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Speaker 1: We've had swathes of applications, like, we've had mountains of

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Speaker 1: applications of very taken mums to come with Woods. We

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Speaker 1: have had to turn down a lot of them though, because.

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Speaker 2: Don't take everyone. Can't take every mom, well, you.

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Speaker 1: Can't take every mom, and more importantly, those woods, I mean,

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Speaker 1: like for the mum and for you, as the man

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Speaker 1: who has formally resigned from dating. You can't have any

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Speaker 1: chemistry with the person you're going with. So the biggest

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Speaker 1: concern chemistry. It happens too naturally for you.

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Speaker 2: I'm a charming gentleman, Will and I can't help. But

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Speaker 2: it's like a switch and I can't switch that switch off. Annah.

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Speaker 7: Right, we'll work something around that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, good, good, good, And maybe let's start off by

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Speaker 1: telling you a little bit about yourself.

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Speaker 3: What do you doing?

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Speaker 7: I am a pa slash, i'd been assistant.

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Speaker 2: Okay, beautiful, all right? And are you very happily married? Anna?

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Speaker 7: Absolutely twenty twenty years this year?

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Speaker 1: Okay, so happily, very happily taken. Are you attracted to whatdye?

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Speaker 7: It's like a man child? I'm sorry?

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Speaker 2: Was good answer. No, that's a great answer. That was

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00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,440
Speaker 2: a perfect answer. Why man child?

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Speaker 7: Well, I've seen a lot of your antics, you know,

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Speaker 7: the way a bit of a carry on carr. Yeah, yep, yep.

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Speaker 2: Anything in particular comes to mind when I carry on

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Speaker 2: to be there.

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Speaker 7: Oh, when you were dating what's your name from from

356
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Speaker 7: the batchelor?

357
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Speaker 3: Laura La, she's engaged.

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Speaker 7: Now come on, Wood's time to move on.

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Speaker 2: And it sounds perfect and it uses that really good.

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Speaker 2: This is sounding really really good.

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Speaker 3: So far out it's gonna be less compatible. He was

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Speaker 3: an annoying child. Yeah right, okay.

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Speaker 1: So and look, I'm gonna be honest the producer and

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Speaker 1: I've been, you know, rifling through these applications and trying

365
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Speaker 1: to find the perfect person, the perfect mum, who is

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Speaker 1: very taken, who is incompatible with Woody, And look, you

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00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,040
Speaker 1: tick all the boxes. We're really really happy with you

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00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:11,920
Speaker 1: as a candidate, woulds. It seems like it's working well

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Speaker 1: right now. She almost genuinely hates you, which is awesome. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but there was just one little fly in the ointment

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Speaker 1: that I think that we do need to correct, just

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Speaker 1: in terms of your compatibility.

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Speaker 3: And we found out what you can tell everybody. One

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Speaker 3: of your hobbies.

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Speaker 7: I read a lot of mummy porn.

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Speaker 2: Mummy porn like fifty of Gray.

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Speaker 7: As well, not actually beyond that.

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Speaker 3: Do your kids know that you read this stuff?

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Speaker 7: Yeah, because I tell them if mummy time, it's mummy time,

380
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Speaker 7: it's quiet time. So when I'm reading, don't bother me.

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Speaker 1: So look what we're going to do is and it

382
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:52,960
Speaker 1: ticks all the boxes in terms of compatibility. She doesn't

383
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:54,960
Speaker 1: find your attractive, but she seems like a lovely person,

384
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:57,960
Speaker 1: so she's perfect for your plus one for the races Woods.

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00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,800
Speaker 3: I'm really keen on her, but I think we just

386
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Speaker 3: need to make sure in totality that there is no

387
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,120
Speaker 3: chemistry between you guys.

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00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,440
Speaker 2: Yes, it's fair and it's fair, and you think that's

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00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:08,000
Speaker 2: fair as well.

390
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,119
Speaker 3: And the erotic fiction stuff's got us worried. So what

391
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,280
Speaker 3: we've done is We've printed.

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Speaker 1: Off a couple of copies of some of the pages

393
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:20,360
Speaker 1: of the book that Anna is currently reading, and you

394
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,320
Speaker 1: and Anna just to test the chemistry and make sure

395
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Speaker 1: there's nothing there.

396
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:25,760
Speaker 3: You and Anna are.

397
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,800
Speaker 1: Going to be reading that live on the airwaves, each

398
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,480
Speaker 1: of you playing a part. And are You're going to

399
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:33,040
Speaker 1: be rigged up to a heart rate monitor to make

400
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,000
Speaker 1: sure you're not turned onto it.

401
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:37,159
Speaker 2: Oh, great idea. That's a good idea, And that's a

402
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,480
Speaker 2: great test to see if you really do think I'm

403
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:40,119
Speaker 2: a man child.

404
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,640
Speaker 1: We have some erotic fiction in front of us, and

405
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,160
Speaker 1: you and Anna are going to read the erotic fiction.

406
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,280
Speaker 3: I will monitor your heart rate.

407
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:54,560
Speaker 1: Yes, if your heart rate gets over one hundred and fifty,

408
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,960
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but it's going to be off for Anna.

409
00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,960
Speaker 7: Imagine I've got a big war on my forward.

410
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:04,160
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm trying to imagine a big wart on your forehead. Anna.

411
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,480
Speaker 1: Just a disclaimer for the audience here with the producer

412
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,879
Speaker 1: replaced all the specially.

413
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,360
Speaker 3: Naughty words with food.

414
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:15,639
Speaker 1: Okay, so there's anything particularly naughty, there's going to be

415
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,239
Speaker 1: food instead of it. So don't worry if you got

416
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:19,320
Speaker 1: kids in cars and stuff. This will be very PG.

417
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,880
Speaker 1: But let's kick it off. It appears I'm the narrator.

418
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:27,080
Speaker 1: If we could set the mood place. Oh yeah, it

419
00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:29,280
Speaker 1: was a cold, dark and mysterious night.

420
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,439
Speaker 3: Stephanie and Avery meet each other in their usual place.

421
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Speaker 7: I've never done anything like this in my time life.

422
00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:41,080
Speaker 7: Kiss me, Avery, this is already.

423
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:43,680
Speaker 3: On one hundred and twenty.

424
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:49,720
Speaker 7: Quickly, I'll put on my accent, my normal accent.

425
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:50,679
Speaker 3: What's your normal accent?

426
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,480
Speaker 7: Sometimes I pick up my mum's accent. More Filipinos.

427
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,400
Speaker 3: Go a little bit more Filipino on your next read.

428
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:55,840
Speaker 3: That'll be good.

429
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:56,920
Speaker 2: Ok, Okay.

430
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Speaker 1: He slips his lips against hers. Jesus, would he keep

431
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,359
Speaker 1: the hard down here at one twenty five against hers

432
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,320
Speaker 1: once more before opening her mouth with his dragon fruit.

433
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:09,040
Speaker 2: Oh my Jesus, I know what that is. No teasing

434
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:12,879
Speaker 2: this time, my dad one and thirty mate. Sorry, my

435
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,920
Speaker 2: dragon fruit is very close to her. No teasing this time,

436
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:19,400
Speaker 2: my darling. I will feel you all of your pineapple

437
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,199
Speaker 2: for Tata.

438
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:28,000
Speaker 7: I'm scared, Avery. The only spicy chicken leg I've ever

439
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,240
Speaker 7: seen is my husband's.

440
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:37,280
Speaker 2: Sorry, Mum, don't be scared, my little love biscuit. I

441
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:38,840
Speaker 2: want to give you my chocolate sauce.

442
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,200
Speaker 3: What one hundred and forty?

443
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Speaker 2: Mate?

444
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:45,240
Speaker 1: You are ten off the max. All well, you just

445
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,000
Speaker 1: said I want to give you my chocolate sauce. Mates,

446
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,880
Speaker 1: they were no longer scared. The calmness was in the air.

447
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 1: The moment had arrived.

448
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,760
Speaker 7: I can feel you against my stomach. Take me to

449
00:19:56,840 --> 00:20:04,200
Speaker 7: pleasure Town, Avery.

450
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,200
Speaker 2: We're going to Pleasure Town and we've got a one

451
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:08,200
Speaker 2: way ticket. Now put those Turkish to lights in my.

452
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:08,960
Speaker 3: Face right now.

453
00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:16,320
Speaker 1: Oh Woods, you didn't go over one hundred and fifty,

454
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:18,480
Speaker 1: so pretty good.

455
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:19,440
Speaker 2: Defin at least.

456
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:20,359
Speaker 3: Days in the race.

457
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:24,360
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I mean, Anna, you or Stephanie,

458
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,280
Speaker 1: I should call you as the Filipino.

459
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,720
Speaker 3: Seductress. Thanks my mum, thanks so much.

460
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,199
Speaker 1: Is plus mather cotin tomorrow if you could be the

461
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,280
Speaker 1: plus mother the Woods once take the Races plays DMUs Instagram, Facebook,

462
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,400
Speaker 1: Will and Woody. We've only got a couple more days

463
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,560
Speaker 1: of searching though. In the Melton Canival kicks off. Looking

464
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,120
Speaker 1: forward to it, Hey, Jess maw Boys on the show

465
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,840
Speaker 1: right up next with really what are you getting you home?

466
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:47,200
Speaker 3: And kiss Woods? Look, yes, I'm really looking forward to

467
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,439
Speaker 3: playing this. I'm really looking for sure you.

468
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,560
Speaker 1: We had Jess Malboy in the studio earlier, and Woods,

469
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,440
Speaker 1: you weren't here when she arrived. So Jess and I

470
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,200
Speaker 1: hatched a bit of a plan to stitch you up.

471
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:03,400
Speaker 1: M She recently got in, and so I told her

472
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,440
Speaker 1: that you would definitely like it was a lock that

473
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,159
Speaker 1: you were going to bring up off the back of

474
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,720
Speaker 1: her engagement, that you're a registered marriage celebrate.

475
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:12,120
Speaker 2: Of course, I want to do a seleb wedding.

476
00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:13,199
Speaker 3: I know you want to do a slept wedding. So

477
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:14,640
Speaker 3: you're very keen on that. You told me that.

478
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:18,199
Speaker 1: I told Jess that, and she took it to a

479
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 1: whole nother place. I mean, she elevated this from just

480
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,199
Speaker 1: a little bit of a prank to a full on

481
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 1: stitch up. Listen to this.

482
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,679
Speaker 3: Can you maybe say like that the engagements off, Oh

483
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:28,080
Speaker 3: my god.

484
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 7: Sorry.

485
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,199
Speaker 8: So he'll ask me about it, and then I'll just

486
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:36,520
Speaker 8: be like, you know, I thought my team would would

487
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:37,639
Speaker 8: have told you not to bring it up.

488
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:38,400
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's great.

489
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,320
Speaker 7: I love it. You've been really thinking about this.

490
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:42,200
Speaker 3: She's evil.

491
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:44,240
Speaker 1: She's evil, but she's good. So you can check it

492
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:47,200
Speaker 1: out Instagram and Facebook. Will and Woody, I'm going to

493
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 1: play the interview for you now.

494
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:48,879
Speaker 2: Guys.

495
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,640
Speaker 3: Just listen to how quickly Wood he walks straight into this.

496
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:53,639
Speaker 2: It's amazing stuff.

497
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 3: Here you go.

498
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,680
Speaker 1: A getting you guys home, very special guest in the

499
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 1: student right now and just now.

500
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:18,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, always, thank you, thank you for having me see

501
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:19,640
Speaker 4: you guys again in.

502
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,800
Speaker 3: Such conspience as well. I mean, like Hilda's number one.

503
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, number one.

504
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:24,439
Speaker 7: No, It's it's so crazy.

505
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,360
Speaker 8: I was just I was talking to my family over

506
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,919
Speaker 8: the weekend and when it hit number one. Yeah, I

507
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,199
Speaker 8: just it was it was very internal. I mean a

508
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:36,639
Speaker 8: lot of things have been happening, and you know, not

509
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:40,920
Speaker 8: so good things either, but like it's also just wonderful

510
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 8: to like have finally have like all the all the

511
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,120
Speaker 8: music out exciting.

512
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:46,640
Speaker 3: It's really exciting.

513
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,359
Speaker 2: Well, one very positive thing that's been happening with you,

514
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:54,359
Speaker 2: Jess is that you're recently engaged, which is super exciting

515
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 2: and little fun fact, Jess, Yes, I'm actually a marriage celebrant.

516
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,840
Speaker 2: So okay, I just want to put that one out there.

517
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 2: That is it. You might wanna well your episode don't

518
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:07,880
Speaker 2: have to.

519
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:15,399
Speaker 8: Oh yes, oh well sorry, I'm just I don't know.

520
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:19,840
Speaker 8: I thought maybe your team would have told you that maybe. Yeah,

521
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,159
Speaker 8: I just thought my team would have told you that

522
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,200
Speaker 8: maybe not to ask that question because it's.

523
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:29,320
Speaker 2: Actually sorry, I didn't get told that, but that's fine.

524
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:39,959
Speaker 8: Yes, sorry, so it's not happening. So yeah, oh gosh, yeah.

525
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:38,480
Speaker 3: Wow, I'm sorry.

526
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:42,920
Speaker 2: Now that's fine. Let's talk more about Hilda then new

527
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 2: single you want to do glass of Water? Yeah, yeah,

528
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 2: I'm so Jess. I'm Jess. I'm so sorry. I had

529
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:57,360
Speaker 2: no idea. Oh wow, sorry, man, I'm sorry.

530
00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:59,880
Speaker 3: Sorry, Yes, that's right.

531
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 2: Right, I'm so sorry. I didn't know either.

532
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 9: But your hands, oh my god, cry, Oh my god,

533
00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:28,680
Speaker 9: like your old buddy is shaking.

534
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry, and I was like, I am going

535
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 2: to lose it.

536
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,040
Speaker 3: The producers.

537
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 7: How could they not tell me, Oh my god, you

538
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:39,680
Speaker 7: are shaking.

539
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:43,159
Speaker 3: You want to say something wrong. Let's go and face that.

540
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:44,440
Speaker 3: Were to go to a break and actually talk to

541
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,720
Speaker 3: us now, but get that glass of water?

542
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 2: Good, so good messive credit to you that you are.

543
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 2: You really are a triple threat, don't you, Jess?

544
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,280
Speaker 8: Honestly, like I love playing games, like I love doing

545
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:01,440
Speaker 8: the I love playing tricks. That definitely like, yeah.

546
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:04,200
Speaker 2: Dangerous because you are such a good performer. I only

547
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 2: just watched the film clip for little Things, and you

548
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 2: showed me a sneak peaks of your of the film clip.

549
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, the one where you're yeah, yeah, beat Like

550
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 8: that particular story was something real and that had come

551
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,920
Speaker 8: from observing my mother at a really young age and

552
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,679
Speaker 8: watching her kind of go through life and you know,

553
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 8: struggle with her kind of demons, and as an eleven

554
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 8: year old, I think, you know, with that story, little

555
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,680
Speaker 8: Things was pretty much a nod to her, Like at

556
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 8: one moment, she's sitting at the kitchen and you know,

557
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 8: and she starts crying. And then and this is an

558
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,119
Speaker 8: eleven year old, Like I'm at eleven, so I'm not

559
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:43,439
Speaker 8: quite sure exactly how to handle this, and I'm watching

560
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:46,800
Speaker 8: her and her not knowing that I'm watching her, but

561
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 8: she cries, and then that one moment where she's like

562
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 8: she breathes and she you know, inhales, exhales, and then

563
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 8: she picks up the broom and starts sweeping again and

564
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:59,040
Speaker 8: everything's fine. So that for me was really powerful. I

565
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 8: was like, you know, no matter how struggling a moment is,

566
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 8: you know, every day, like she just yeah, absolutely.

567
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 2: And people are really connecting with it because it's absolutely going.

568
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,560
Speaker 8: Thank you for playing the new single as well. I

569
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 8: guess that's awesome. It's it's nice to kind of, you know, continuously,

570
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,200
Speaker 8: I guess share you know, bits and pieces of the record.

571
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 2: It's selfish and happier pleasure, selfish, sexy.

572
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:31,480
Speaker 5: Haven't let Me Go.

573
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 7: You're it's a mass.

574
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a most.

575
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:39,360
Speaker 7: Love.

576
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:41,880
Speaker 2: You're so passionate.

577
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 7: I love that, Thank you so much.

578
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:47,639
Speaker 8: And I love the kind of the rhythmic kind of

579
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 8: power that it has, like the drums in it as

580
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,680
Speaker 8: well as the acoustics because it is a sexy song.

581
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:57,880
Speaker 2: Weird if you were like having a romantic dinner, yeah,

582
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 2: and then you just settle over to like the CD player,

583
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:05,240
Speaker 2: if you started buying Selfish and started going.

584
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:07,960
Speaker 8: Like boy, yeah, yeah, like serenading like.

585
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 2: Weird to serenade someone to your own music. No, I have,

586
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:13,680
Speaker 2: I have. I'm going to be very open.

587
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 8: I have sereny.

588
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:16,639
Speaker 7: Family with my own music.

589
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 3: Really wow.

590
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 8: And it's always the first demos, like.

591
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 3: A previous sitting down.

592
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:27,160
Speaker 8: Yeah, Like you know, it's funny because I will kind

593
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 8: of call out all the instruments that are like are

594
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 8: coming up, and then I'll kind of and then I'll

595
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,320
Speaker 8: kind of like do the kind of rhythm that it's

596
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:35,160
Speaker 8: doing in the song.

597
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 3: So I'm like, nothing guitar.

598
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 7: And I'm going to do the dance and a strut

599
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:42,679
Speaker 7: to it, and it's like, what is going on?

600
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 3: Can we can we get a bit? Can we get

601
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:49,119
Speaker 3: a serenade? Preview selfie fully archapella. You're calling out.

602
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:54,560
Speaker 8: All the instruments, Okay, tell me about bass now with

603
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:57,440
Speaker 8: your friends. I'm waiting the bass. Don't want to like

604
00:27:57,520 --> 00:28:00,119
Speaker 8: that feeling the cut up the guitar.

605
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,440
Speaker 3: Whispered to me about the way.

606
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 8: You know, n.

607
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:16,200
Speaker 4: My bad day dreamin thinking about about and the clicks

608
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:17,360
Speaker 4: good bye.

609
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 3: Bbes. He no every minute I'm trying to play a

610
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 3: cool but want like suff that.

611
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 2: I really want your love it to that.

612
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's so bad, so bad, the real

613
00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 3: thing right now?

614
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 1: This is uh Jesse Melboy with Selfish is a brand

615
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,640
Speaker 1: new single off her record He'll If you haven't heard,

616
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:45,240
Speaker 1: You're an idiot.

617
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 3: It's number one banging, banging record. Thanks so much for coming,

618
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:53,160
Speaker 3: Love you, brothers, love you to thank you, absolutely special

619
00:28:53,160 --> 00:29:00,880
Speaker 3: stuff in here before and William thanks again. Jess see

620
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 3: what you're hearing. Find us on Instagram and Facebook search

621
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 3: will and Woody