1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:03,120 Speaker 1: Jersey and Amanda Jamny. 2 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 2: Well, the next guest has been inspirational in my career. 3 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,280 Speaker 2: I was a segment producer on the Midday Show and 4 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:11,039 Speaker 2: Ray Martin took over the Midday Show. And Ray was 5 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:12,920 Speaker 2: the first person who said to me, I think you 6 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,640 Speaker 2: can do some stories on camera. I owe so much 7 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:19,000 Speaker 2: to Ray Martin. Well, this media icon is taking on 8 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:21,680 Speaker 2: a topic that not many of us like to discuss, 9 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,479 Speaker 2: weirdly considering it's going to happen to all of us, 10 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:26,000 Speaker 2: and that's death. He's got a new three part series 11 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 2: called The Last Goodbye and our mate joined us. 12 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:35,720 Speaker 1: Now, hello, Ra, He's come to collect here to pay 13 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:36,080 Speaker 1: for this. 14 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:39,120 Speaker 2: Isn't it funny? Though? That is it because we're Anglo 15 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 2: Saxons that people don't like to talk about death? Is 16 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 2: it only our culture that doesn't do it? 17 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 1: I think in Australia it is. That's what we discovered. 18 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: But when BBC asked me to do it, I thought 19 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:50,240 Speaker 1: this sounds fun. It also sounds interesting. I knew nothing 20 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:53,280 Speaker 1: about it, Dim, I had made no plans. Your wife's 21 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: name is die and we're knowing what's called the sociologists 22 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 1: called peak death. So you're a boomer you're reaching the 23 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 1: stage where you know, within as I said, the piece 24 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,000 Speaker 1: three or four years, I'm supposed to die. I don't 25 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:08,760 Speaker 1: plan on it, but I'm supposed to. So to look 26 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:10,839 Speaker 1: at it, you know, why is it the almost the last? 27 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:13,560 Speaker 1: But why don't we talk about it? You know? So 28 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 1: we ended up looking at the Samoan Funeral's a three 29 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:19,319 Speaker 1: day funeral here in which everyone sings beautifully and nonstoff, 30 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,760 Speaker 1: unlike me. And we went and we had, you know, 31 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:27,240 Speaker 1: the Muslim funeral, which was probably the most beautiful and 32 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,119 Speaker 1: warmost but they have to bury them straight away, within 33 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: twenty four hours and without a coffin. About one of 34 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:33,880 Speaker 1: the few religions a few. 35 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,040 Speaker 2: Folks go straight in the ground. 36 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,400 Speaker 1: You're wrapped in this beautiful cloth. You bathe. There's a 37 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:42,679 Speaker 1: three process of three times bathing. And in the case 38 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 1: of the one we filmed a Malaysian, young Malaysian man 39 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 1: about fifty, he had died unexpectedly, so he arrived. The 40 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:54,360 Speaker 1: wife was there in a head scarf. She was weeping 41 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 1: behind the head scarf. The undertaker at the mosco out 42 00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 1: here is a monster like a bodybuilt a monster of 43 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 1: the most beautiful bloke, Ahmed, and he said to the 44 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: mum who came in to bathe the body. We bathed 45 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 1: of warm water. We have the incense or the smelling stuff, 46 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:14,000 Speaker 1: and he said, sister will look after you. And in 47 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:17,359 Speaker 1: the process of the two sons came in and bathe 48 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 1: the help bathe the body. The daughters came in the 49 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,360 Speaker 1: second time around. By the time we'd finished, they reconciled 50 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,240 Speaker 1: to it Mum and stopped crying. They prepared the body, 51 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: but they wrapped the body in this in this white cloth, 52 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,679 Speaker 1: and they made the point that whether the prince or 53 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 1: the pauper before Ali, you're equal, and so you get wrapp. 54 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,800 Speaker 2: Around our same cloth, because most of us would feel 55 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 2: very uncomfortable bathing our loved ones bodies and taking care 56 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:40,680 Speaker 2: of the body. And yet that lying in is it 57 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:43,080 Speaker 2: called lying in state? You know? The body in old 58 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,079 Speaker 2: Irish famis used to lie in the kitchen table and 59 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,160 Speaker 2: everyone had come and say goodbye. It probably helps the 60 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,360 Speaker 2: healing process. 61 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:49,920 Speaker 1: Would you see. That's the difference. When I was a kid, 62 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,040 Speaker 1: my grandmother died when I was about seven. We were 63 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:55,519 Speaker 1: up in Guannadha and grandmother had just a little timber 64 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,640 Speaker 1: home there and my mum and the other women prepared 65 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,960 Speaker 1: the body and she was bare on a Sunday and 66 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 1: I remember just thinking, a whole bunch of Irish, Aussie 67 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 1: Catholic kids and we're in the corner, and so we 68 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 1: were expected to come up and just touch grandmother on 69 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,240 Speaker 1: the forehead as a last goodbye. And we did that 70 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 1: with that and the undertake the mosque that said the 71 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,960 Speaker 1: same thing. They encouraged children to come and be there 72 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,120 Speaker 1: when the body's being washed, in all part of the process. 73 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,520 Speaker 1: And I said, how do the kids react, little kids? 74 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:26,040 Speaker 1: And he said, just like the parents. If the parents cry, 75 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,560 Speaker 1: they cry. If the parents are stoic, the kids are snowic. 76 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,239 Speaker 1: And so it's but that's something we've forgotten from the days. 77 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,800 Speaker 1: And as I said, my grandmother went, now it's almost 78 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,960 Speaker 1: the last to boo. We don't talk about it, we 79 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:40,480 Speaker 1: don't we bury them quietly. They're dressed if need be quietly, 80 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,320 Speaker 1: and then the coffin lead goes on to it. Whereas 81 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 1: the one we did, this wonderful Samoan funeral, a three 82 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 1: day Samoan funeral out in Liverpool. And so in working 83 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:53,280 Speaker 1: class Australia, I thought I knew Australia. I had no idea. 84 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 1: This went on, so with Samoan family. They're all out 85 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:59,880 Speaker 1: from central castles. They're all, you know, six foot wide 86 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 1: and twelve foot tall, and so up this suburban street 87 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:08,480 Speaker 1: comes the hearse, preceded by the undertaker, who's a very large, 88 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 1: elegant Samoan man in a skirt and bare chested with 89 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:16,520 Speaker 1: a stave, and slowly the coffin the hearse rather comes 90 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:18,720 Speaker 1: up to the house and I'm sitting with the man's 91 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,400 Speaker 1: best friend. He'd been killed in an accident at work. 92 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,720 Speaker 1: He's only about thirty two, and so a young best 93 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,080 Speaker 1: friend who was again a mammoth man the size of 94 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:29,400 Speaker 1: a prophobial brick outhouse, and two of his mates were 95 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 1: there in skirts and bare chested, and this stentorian voice 96 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:38,480 Speaker 1: as they stop outside this just suburban house, the voice says, 97 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:43,240 Speaker 1: in Samoan, we are delivering Michael to your family. You 98 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,120 Speaker 1: now have to take care of him till he goes 99 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:49,520 Speaker 1: under the next world. That runs for about two minutes 100 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:52,120 Speaker 1: the monologue, and then the best man, his best mate 101 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,840 Speaker 1: gets up and delivers a reply saying, you know, we 102 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,160 Speaker 1: love Michael. We're going to take care of Michael. So 103 00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 1: then collectively these huge samoan men carry bry the coffin 104 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 1: into the lounge room. It's open there. The kids that 105 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:06,240 Speaker 1: he's got three small boys who were bouncing running around mad. 106 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 1: They're bouncing off the coffin as though Dad was simply 107 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 1: just sitting in the lounge. Job. And then the women, 108 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:14,440 Speaker 1: in their beautiful customs, were conscious that even as a 109 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:16,840 Speaker 1: film crew we were we needed to be fed, and 110 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 1: so the men's bodies. Then we just wanted to be 111 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,920 Speaker 1: respectful and get out of there. You know. They brought 112 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 1: us sandwiches and bought a soft drinks and made sure 113 00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 1: like you wouldn't. 114 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:28,839 Speaker 3: Have you planned your own funeral. 115 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 1: No, that was part of the reason I did it, 116 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 1: because I died and I were in the right agent. 117 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,080 Speaker 1: We hadn't talked about, you know, who you want to 118 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:35,760 Speaker 1: speak and what music you want, whether you want Bob 119 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 1: Build or Van Morrison or who you want, et cetera, 120 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:40,840 Speaker 1: and what it would be. And apart from simply saying 121 00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:43,719 Speaker 1: that cremation, I certainly don't want to be buried, we 122 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,120 Speaker 1: hadn't done anything. So we thought that now as the time. 123 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 3: So why not buried over cremation. So I always liked 124 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:50,320 Speaker 3: the idea of being buried. 125 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:51,680 Speaker 1: The cremation scarce. 126 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,800 Speaker 3: The hell out of it, which is crazy because you're dead. 127 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:54,919 Speaker 1: They're both pretty violent. 128 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, buried on the ground or I like the sea 129 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 3: burial burial Let's see, you know what they up and 130 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:01,800 Speaker 3: a thing and then throw off a boat. 131 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:02,760 Speaker 1: I think that's pretty good. 132 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 2: It's interesting because part of me thinks it's not me. 133 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,680 Speaker 2: I don't care really what my service is. But I 134 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:11,040 Speaker 2: guess as if you knew when you were going to die, 135 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:14,000 Speaker 2: you'd start to think. Maybe you do fantasize about who's 136 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,800 Speaker 2: going to be there and what they're going to say 137 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:16,800 Speaker 2: and what the music is. 138 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 1: Well, we had a couple of woman who had a 139 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:22,520 Speaker 1: cancer and she died almost the time we were filming, 140 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,279 Speaker 1: a young mum from the Dorphan's Beaches. And then we 141 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 1: had locally a truck he in his thirties from Melbourne 142 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 1: who had another cancer who died. It was given six 143 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,479 Speaker 1: months and so then you talk with people who know 144 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,760 Speaker 1: that their life has a has an ending. And the 145 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 1: guy from Melbourne was he wanted to be buried as 146 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:42,000 Speaker 1: a Viking warrior. He was one of those guys who 147 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:42,480 Speaker 1: went out. 148 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:43,960 Speaker 2: And the cosplay. 149 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, he was all set up and we went to 150 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,040 Speaker 1: the and planned the funeral there. But it was just 151 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 1: that was interesting because they were both in denial even 152 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:55,120 Speaker 1: though they've been told that they had a matter of 153 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,360 Speaker 1: months to live, and they died in the time we 154 00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,479 Speaker 1: were doing it. But that was kind of another couple 155 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:03,360 Speaker 1: we had from Balmain, two women whose mum and dad 156 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,360 Speaker 1: had died, and they kept the ashes and Mum at 157 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,680 Speaker 1: some stages said, look, I'd like to be in the skyrocket. 158 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:09,600 Speaker 1: I'd like by ashes to be out the skyrocket. So 159 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 1: they figured Daddy go along with mum anyway, and so 160 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 1: they one Saturday night we went down to near the 161 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:19,200 Speaker 1: Saint George Motor Boat Club and they organized with the 162 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:22,080 Speaker 1: you know, the aviation people, at about seven minutes past seven, 163 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 1: and they all sat with They sat there on the 164 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 1: grass with their their partners and their friends and they 165 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 1: had a drink and had something to eat, and off 166 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: with the Skyrocks. You had a big bang and mom 167 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,920 Speaker 1: and Dad went out there. And so the sidebar to 168 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:38,240 Speaker 1: it was that at that particular spot at the George Motorclub, 169 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:41,000 Speaker 1: there was a wedding going on and the bride came 170 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 1: along with her party. I'm sure sure the sky Rocks 171 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: in a nutshell, isn't it. It is? 172 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 2: Well, it's for all of us that stuff. 173 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:55,160 Speaker 1: It was actually spectacular. My wife's dies a keen skyrocket. 174 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,160 Speaker 3: Oh, they say you're going to go up in the skyrocket. 175 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 1: I wouldn't be I wouldn't be about he's already. 176 00:07:58,880 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 3: Planning it now. 177 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:03,960 Speaker 1: For the producer Ben Jones, he his father died and 178 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:06,280 Speaker 1: expected last week and I saw him yesterday and he 179 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,160 Speaker 1: was saying that he's bringing the skyrocket Man up to Mackay. 180 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,840 Speaker 3: They're going to So there's a skyrocket man now there is. 181 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 3: I like it skyrockets in flight, afternoon delight. 182 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:19,320 Speaker 1: But it's even that is about. It's one of those 183 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,280 Speaker 1: there is because we don't talk about. We don't know. 184 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 1: It's at the moment someone dies whom you love, you say, 185 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. I mean, you know, 186 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,680 Speaker 1: I'm traumatized. You do what you have to do. So 187 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 1: the end result it's pretty much run by the undertaking business, 188 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 1: isn't it. We know more about how to buy, can't 189 00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:35,600 Speaker 1: we do how to die? Yeah? 190 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,960 Speaker 2: Wow, you're quite right. 191 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,959 Speaker 1: Ray. That's always great to have you in. Ray Martin. 192 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,160 Speaker 1: The Last Goodbye premieres on Wednesday. 193 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:45,800 Speaker 2: We'll make sure you have shut up your face. 194 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:49,559 Speaker 1: Ray. Thank you.