Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to Outspoken. It's your dose of the
Speaker 1: hottest influencer and pop culture news twice a week. I'm
Speaker 1: Amy Torber and coming up on today's show, Why Steph
Speaker 1: klas Smith is Losing followers, Tammy Hembro takes London for
Speaker 1: just two days and our Friday Debrief. But first Bachelor
Speaker 1: contestant Tarny Leeson celebrated her baby shower in style in
Speaker 1: Melbourne over the weekend. The lavish affair comes off the
Speaker 1: back of her baby daddy, Justin McKean, missing his second
Speaker 1: court hearing where he's been accused of stealing almost half
Speaker 1: a million dollars from his former employer, Rocket Brands. Now
Speaker 1: Sophie I was surprised to see Tiney celebrating in Melbourne
Speaker 1: and not in Perth. Yeah, there has been a bit
Speaker 1: of contention as to where the couple is actually living,
Speaker 1: because back in January, it was reported that Justin was
Speaker 1: living back in his hometown of Perth to be close
Speaker 1: to his family and at a pitness though Twani had
Speaker 1: ventured over to be by his side, and since Tarney
Speaker 1: broke the news of her pregnancy, she made her instat
Speaker 1: gram account private and she only has around six thousand followers,
Speaker 1: which might surprise some people. She did go on The
Speaker 1: Bachelor when it wasn't as popular. I'm actually one of
Speaker 1: those six thousand people following her in my finster. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you have been keeping in track of what has
Speaker 1: been going on. It's also been difficult to track exactly
Speaker 1: where they are because Justin deleted his account following the
Speaker 1: fraud allegations, but he has since made a super private
Speaker 1: account with very few followers. So when Justin didn't actually
Speaker 1: appear at his court hearing in Melbourne last week, which
Speaker 1: we discussed on Friday, Amy, there was a theory that
Speaker 1: maybe they were still in Perth and hadn't bothered to
Speaker 1: make the journey over. And as mentioned, I do have
Speaker 1: access to Tinese account and I have been keeping a
Speaker 1: close eye on it, and I was pretty shocked when
Speaker 1: all these glamorous photos popped up from the baby shower. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because they held it at a rather upmarket Melbourne restaurant
Speaker 1: called half Acre, and the event space is set on
Speaker 1: an old timbermeal south of Melbourne. It has this beautiful
Speaker 1: outside garden space and Tiny posted a series of photos
Speaker 1: looking as though she didn't have a care in the world.
Speaker 1: In one of them, she was laughing and looking to
Speaker 1: the side whilst wearing a five hundred dollar designer gown,
Speaker 1: and on Instagram she wrote that it was more than
Speaker 1: just a baby shower, she said, feeling very blessed to
Speaker 1: be surrounded by such supportive and incredible women. While not
Speaker 1: all could be here today, those who could really did
Speaker 1: make it a day. I won't forget a really massive
Speaker 1: thank you though, to my wonderful sister Danika Jane, who organized,
Speaker 1: set up and journeyed several hours away from her young
Speaker 1: family to make this day so special. I'm enormously grateful
Speaker 1: for you and everything you've ever done for me. You're
Speaker 1: such a powerhouse of a woman, mother and sister. My
Speaker 1: little boy is so blessed to have you as his auntie.
Speaker 1: It's nice to hear that Tarni has so much support
Speaker 1: from her family and friends, because this would be an
Speaker 1: incredibly difficult time for her. I feel very sorry for her. Kate,
Speaker 1: you said you were surprised to see that she had
Speaker 1: shared so many photos from her baby shower. I wasn't
Speaker 1: because since she's announced that she's pregnant, there has been
Speaker 1: this attitude of sort of almost sweeping all of the
Speaker 1: stuff to do with Justin under the rust. It's awkward
Speaker 1: because Justin has been accused of stealing half a million
Speaker 1: dollar from his former employer, and it has been documented
Speaker 1: that he is having to live off an allowance because
Speaker 1: whilst that money is unaccounted for, they can't allow him
Speaker 1: to be spending money outside of his means. So clearly
Speaker 1: Tani is probably having to pay for this or her family,
Speaker 1: which of course is absolutely fine. She is in a
Speaker 1: financial state to do that, but it does seem awkward
Speaker 1: putting on this lavish event. I may be reading too
Speaker 1: much into this, but I thought it was interesting that
Speaker 1: her caption started off by saying that she was very
Speaker 1: blessed to be surrounded by supportive and incredible women. I
Speaker 1: understand that, but I thought she might have mentioned her
Speaker 1: partner amongst it. Sometimes the partner rocks up at the
Speaker 1: baby shower and they give flowers and they look like
Speaker 1: the good guys that he did not turn up to
Speaker 1: the baby shower, well that we know of, Well, he
Speaker 1: wasn't pictured. I did find it interesting though, because when
Speaker 1: you know when you look and they have all the
Speaker 1: little games that people play, and he was included in
Speaker 1: that in the sense that they said, oh, what will
Speaker 1: you get from your parents? But at a lot of
Speaker 1: baby showers they have baby McKean, you know the father's
Speaker 1: name everywhere. There was no mention of the father's name anywhere. Well,
Speaker 1: I suppose because they're not actually married, so the baby
Speaker 1: might not necessarily be taking on that last name. That's true.
Speaker 1: The theme of this baby shower was blue because we
Speaker 1: have discovered that the couple are expecting a baby boy.
Speaker 1: I'm surprised I didn't get a message from you, Sophie,
Speaker 1: because every time someone has a baby these days, so
Speaker 1: it's like another boy, Like, is anyone having girls? I
Speaker 1: saw a TikTok which echoed my sentiment. Someone said, what
Speaker 1: the hell is happening? Are women becoming extinct? Because every
Speaker 1: single person I hear is having a boy, Even people
Speaker 1: online are all having boys now. Tany did wear a
Speaker 1: blue dress, which she looked beautiful in. She had blue
Speaker 1: table decor as well as blue cupcakes and games. And
Speaker 1: hearing that this is a baby boy, for some reason,
Speaker 1: it made me feel sad because I was thinking about
Speaker 1: the fact that this boy could potentially not have his
Speaker 1: dad and his life growing up because while Justin is
Speaker 1: facing civil proceedings at the moment, this has the potential
Speaker 1: to move onto criminal charges and also lengthy jail time.
Speaker 1: As we discussed last week, Justin's failure to appear in
Speaker 1: court has been taken as a sign that is not
Speaker 1: going to defend the allegations going forward. A pretty strange
Speaker 1: move considering he has got a baby on the way.
Speaker 1: You would have thought that he would have wanted to
Speaker 1: lodge a very strong defense against these allegations. Well, the
Speaker 1: court heard last week that Justin allegedly admitted to the theft,
Speaker 1: So perhaps he's thought I'm just gonna save money and
Speaker 1: not appear in court because his lawyers have also dropped him. Well,
Speaker 1: it appears that tiny It must be in her final
Speaker 1: trimester of pregnancy. It'll be interesting to watch this space
Speaker 1: and see how the story evolves. I just got to London.
Speaker 2: I look crazy, like my bags under my eyes.
Speaker 1: Tammy Hembro has flown twenty four hours for a two
Speaker 1: day English countryside getaway. The Thinness influencer traveled solo for
Speaker 1: the all expenses paid PR trip. Now so fans couldn't
Speaker 1: believe she traveled all that way for just two days.
Speaker 1: All I can say is it must be worth her
Speaker 1: while to go on this brand trip. She's been sent
Speaker 1: to the UK by a London makeup and skincare brand
Speaker 1: called Wonderskin, So not only would they be paying for
Speaker 1: this trip, but they would also be paying her a
Speaker 1: massive appearance fee. And you would also think sponsorship posts
Speaker 1: on her Instagram. Well, I'd kind of want to be
Speaker 1: paid a big appearance fee if I was having to
Speaker 1: travel for just two days in the Remember she's flown
Speaker 1: over their business class or first class. I saw a
Speaker 1: picture of a lay down bed. It's not like she's
Speaker 1: slumming it in economy. Yeah, but for Tammy, she would
Speaker 1: be used to that luxury of flying first class Like
Speaker 1: it's probably not even a big thing for her anymore.
Speaker 1: I would actually love to legitimately know how much she's
Speaker 1: being paid, because there's always talk about, oh, she earns
Speaker 1: like thirty thousand dollars for a post. I mean, to
Speaker 1: physically get her to travel that far for two days,
Speaker 1: is it really worth it? Like has the brand paid
Speaker 1: her two hundred k or something? Yeah, but she's also
Speaker 1: got the lure of her two younger sisters being in
Speaker 1: London at the moment, so Starlet and Ava just moved
Speaker 1: over there very recently. I saw everyone commenting, They're like,
Speaker 1: why the hell would you move to the UK from Australia.
Speaker 1: I mean, they were obviously people who live in the UK.
Speaker 1: Her followers were pretty shocked to see that she'd only
Speaker 1: be spending two days in the UK. One follower wrote, girl,
Speaker 1: what a twenty four our flight for two nights is insane? Actually,
Speaker 1: how are you awake? Whilst another said only two nights
Speaker 1: is crazy now. Tammy went on to explain that the
Speaker 1: reason that the trip is so short is because she
Speaker 1: hates being away from her kids. Here's a bit of
Speaker 1: what she said.
Speaker 2: Groups like without the kids, I always go for like
Speaker 2: the shortest amount possible. So if I'm going somewhere with
Speaker 2: a brand or going somewhere for an a van, I literally
Speaker 2: will always fly in and fly out. I just don't
Speaker 2: like being away from my babies.
Speaker 1: Do you think Matt's been trusted to look after the kids? Well,
Speaker 1: that's what I thought was a bit unfair, because when
Speaker 1: she initially posted that she was at the airport, a
Speaker 1: lot of her followers are like, where are the kids?
Speaker 1: Why aren't you with them? Who's looking after them. But
Speaker 1: it's like a baby daddy that's off living in balley
Speaker 1: away from exactly. I mean, she has a new husband,
Speaker 1: it's the kid's stepdad. She also has sisters that live
Speaker 1: close by. This is a legitimate work trip. Why is
Speaker 1: she not that have two days away? I assumed that
Speaker 1: Wolf and Saskia were with Reese's parents or Tammy's parents,
Speaker 1: because when TAMMYA traveled in the past she said, Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: Saskia and Wolfer with their grandparents who they don't seem
Speaker 1: to get to see that often, and Posey would be
Speaker 1: with her dad, Matt Paul. How much would you guys
Speaker 1: have to be paid to fly for two days to
Speaker 1: the UK. I'd probably just do it for the experience,
Speaker 1: if I'm completely honest, especially if I was traveling business
Speaker 1: class for another job I did. I traveled to the
Speaker 1: US for five days and that was including the travel days,
Speaker 1: and it was quite hellish, but it was just an
Speaker 1: exciting experience. Maybe you're saying this because you haven't had
Speaker 1: to do the trek to the UK. Yeah, to the US, yeah,
Speaker 1: it would be amazing to spend forty eight hours, for example,
Speaker 1: in London. But I don't know if I could back
Speaker 1: it up with those two flights in a row. But also,
Speaker 1: would you feel comfortable leaving Jack at home for two
Speaker 1: days or all the goods? Well, if it's only two days,
Speaker 1: it's really not that long. I Also, I just feel
Speaker 1: for female influencers though, because they get so much flak
Speaker 1: whenever they're away from their kids. That's why I feel
Speaker 1: like Tammy thought it was important to preface that she
Speaker 1: was only there for a few days. Yeah. I mean,
Speaker 1: in fact, the dads who will be like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: babysitting my kids on Saturday night because you know, the
Speaker 1: mom's out at a fucking dinner with their friends. No,
Speaker 1: you are not babysitting your own kids. Don't use the
Speaker 1: word babysit. That's the thing with Tammy. She does try
Speaker 1: and present that she's got this really strong co parenting
Speaker 1: relationship with Matt Paul and Reee Hawkins, and it seems
Speaker 1: to be the case with Matt Paul, But when it
Speaker 1: comes to Reese Hawkins, he's literally living in a different country.
Speaker 1: So as much as she likes to say that things
Speaker 1: are really great between them, she needs to go on
Speaker 1: this brand trip. She does have to find an alternative babysitter. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I feel sorry for her with that. That's really
Speaker 1: not fair. And then the fact that the spotlight's on her. Oh,
Speaker 1: where are the kids going to be? Like right there
Speaker 1: with you? That being said, I cannot get over how
Speaker 1: much Tammy's son Wolf looks like Matt Sakowski, Like if
Speaker 1: you actually put him and also Reese, I would say
Speaker 1: that that was Matt's skill. I can see Reece Hawkins
Speaker 1: in him as well. I can't. This jet lag seemed
Speaker 1: to hit Tammy really hard because she put up an
Speaker 1: Instagram story in her hotel room when it was two am,
Speaker 1: saying that she couldn't sleep. She tried everything, and she's
Speaker 1: resigned herself to the fact that she's not going to
Speaker 1: adjust to the time frame in two days. So she
Speaker 1: actually ended up going to the gym. Why would you
Speaker 1: even bother trying to adjust to the jet lag like
Speaker 1: it was never going to happen. I would just be like, huh,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna wing it. Well, we go. That's pretty
Speaker 1: much what she did, and she said it was the
Speaker 1: right decision. She felt so good after this workout.
Speaker 3: I think anytime I speak about his sleep, I get
Speaker 3: a mixture of opinions, which is obviously valid.
Speaker 1: Steph Claire Smith is dividing her audience one sleep update
Speaker 1: at a time. The fitness entrepreneur regularly updates her followers
Speaker 1: about her three year old son's sleep. However, followers are
Speaker 1: tapping out after the model complained about her toddler's early
Speaker 1: rise after an eleven hour stretch of sleep. Now, before
Speaker 1: we get into it, Kate, can you provide us a
Speaker 1: little bit of background. Yeah, So Steph has a three
Speaker 1: year old son called Harvey and is thirty weeks pregnant
Speaker 1: with her second child, and anyone who is pregnant will
Speaker 1: know that sleep is very important at that time. I
Speaker 1: just don't know how anybody can have a toddler and
Speaker 1: also be pregnant, because there's someone who is thirty four
Speaker 1: weeks pregnan. The thought of having to look after a
Speaker 1: small child at the same time, it just blows my mind,
Speaker 1: Like people who do that are actually super woman. It's
Speaker 1: enough having a puppy dog who wakes you up very
Speaker 1: early to go out for a week after I've had
Speaker 1: like four testa the toilet, I'm like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: So I do feel sympathetic for Steph. This would be time,
Speaker 1: and on top of that, she is a co founder
Speaker 1: of multimillion dollar fitness business Kick that she works four
Speaker 1: days a week at Her husband, Josh, is the primary
Speaker 1: care giver of their son, which she often cops a
Speaker 1: lot of criticism for. Yeah, and very unfairly, I think.
Speaker 1: I think people are so shocked to see a dad
Speaker 1: actually taking on that responsibility. But in their case and
Speaker 1: their financial situation, why wouldn't he when she's the bread
Speaker 1: within It makes so much sense. And a lot of
Speaker 1: people follow Josh on Instagram and TikTok as well because
Speaker 1: previously he would share a lot of content with their son, Harvey,
Speaker 1: and it got to the point where Harvey was being
Speaker 1: recognized out on the streets. So we've spoken about it
Speaker 1: a few times that Steph and Josh made the decision
Speaker 1: to start blurring their three year old son's face, sometimes
Speaker 1: in quite a comical way, because it first started off
Speaker 1: as like a bit of a squiggle on his face,
Speaker 1: then progressed to a blur. We recently had emojis. We
Speaker 1: recently had some flowers and an uber eats ads blocking
Speaker 1: his face sometimes quite a funny way, and sometimes the
Speaker 1: emoji would just disappear all together, and you'd see his
Speaker 1: face anyway, I have to say. As well as being
Speaker 1: in Josh's content, he has featured in a lot of
Speaker 1: Steph's content, and even though they have made these changes
Speaker 1: to protect his privacy, he's a hot topic on her
Speaker 1: Instagram story. We get constant updates about his sleep, about
Speaker 1: his tantrums. Yeah, and a lot of people are confused
Speaker 1: because they've said, well, you've kind of pointed out that
Speaker 1: you want to keep him off your socials, but you're
Speaker 1: still willing to talk about him. He is the cover
Speaker 1: artwork for the kick Bump podcast, which I also find confusing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and the updates about Harvey are often quite negative and
Speaker 1: have to do with how much sleep he has. Steph
Speaker 1: seems to be quite focused on how much sleep she
Speaker 1: is also getting, so she often shares screenshots of her
Speaker 1: sleep app to show her quality of sleep. That's something
Speaker 1: that should stay in your family group or a group
Speaker 1: with friends. I don't even think family, you know, Like
Speaker 1: sometimes you you and Mum, when you first started tracking
Speaker 1: your sleep, you both be like, oh my god, look
Speaker 1: what I got. I have to say, no one else cares,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like when you get your
Speaker 1: Apple Watch, or you get your is it or a
Speaker 1: ring or whatever it's called. You do become obsessed with it.
Speaker 1: But I think once you have a child, I think
Speaker 1: you need to throw that out. Oh yeah, you can't
Speaker 1: start looking at And I have seen a lot of
Speaker 1: people who used to live by their Apple Watch, Like
Speaker 1: a lot of fitness experts say that they no longer
Speaker 1: track it because it becomes this self serving thing, like
Speaker 1: if you've seen you've had four hours of sleep, then
Speaker 1: you start to get angry and you feel like it
Speaker 1: ruins your whole day. Yeah, I mean, I've actually stopped
Speaker 1: wearing my Apple Watch. I used to wear it religiously
Speaker 1: for like the last seven years, only because it has
Speaker 1: a screen on it, so Jack always gets distracted by it.
Speaker 1: But as a lot of followers, anytime we'd ever post
Speaker 1: a group photo on our outspoken Instagram account, someone would
Speaker 1: be wearing an Apple Watch at like a fucking wedding
Speaker 1: just triggers everyone. Yeah, it was like take that off.
Speaker 1: Sharing about your sleep reminds me of the people that
Speaker 1: always have to share their strap updates. It's almost like proof,
Speaker 1: like look at the run I did, or look at
Speaker 1: how little sleep I've had. Can you actually track your
Speaker 1: walk on struggle without posting it because I just thought
Speaker 1: you had to do so I post one all the time.
Speaker 1: I mean the people who then go to the lengths
Speaker 1: of then putting on their Instagram story to I mean
Speaker 1: to be fair. Whenever you do do a run, you
Speaker 1: feel like such a legend you go to tell everyone
Speaker 1: about it. I think with Steph, she's wanting to share
Speaker 1: some of the I suppose not so glamorous sides of
Speaker 1: motherhood and her life to be relatable because, as you said,
Speaker 1: she owns this multimillion dollar business she's abod so to
Speaker 1: be relatable she kind of needs to share some of
Speaker 1: these updates.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, last week there were a couple of updates that
Speaker 1: really aggravated people. So Steph shared a photo of her
Speaker 1: looking solemn with water splash on her face with the
Speaker 1: caption me late last night, sitting with the guilt of
Speaker 1: yelling at Harvey after hitting my point of overwhelmed from
Speaker 1: no more patients. She then went on to explain that
Speaker 1: she left the room, splash water in her face and
Speaker 1: did a controlled breathing exercise which allowed her to reset,
Speaker 1: and she finished up by saying that bedtime was rough
Speaker 1: last night. But she couldn't be fucked to go into
Speaker 1: the details. Now. A few days later, Steph shared another
Speaker 1: update about Harvey's sleep, writing after six pm bedtime, half
Speaker 1: slept through, but woke at five am ready to start
Speaker 1: his day. I was not with the laughing face emoji,
Speaker 1: so Josh got him up and took him for a
Speaker 1: long walk, and I slept in till six thirty am.
Speaker 1: I woke to Harvey pulling me out of bed to
Speaker 1: show me the flowers he found me on his walk.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: This update sparked a massive reaction in our Facebook group,
Speaker 1: with many of our listeners admitting they've unfollowed Steph because
Speaker 1: of her constant complaints about parenting. Now, according to Social Blade,
Speaker 1: which tracks influencers followings, Steph has lost over two thousand,
Speaker 1: seven hundred followers in the last thirty days. Now, I
Speaker 1: had a look at her overall following and it has
Speaker 1: taken a hit in the last year. So since January
Speaker 1: twenty twenty four, Steph has lost almost thirty thousand followers,
Speaker 1: and that calculation takes into consideration people who have followed
Speaker 1: an unfollowed, so her overall following is on the decline.
Speaker 1: Do you think that has anything to do with her
Speaker 1: announcing her pregnancy, because I know that might sound like
Speaker 1: a weird question, because a lot of the time, when
Speaker 1: influencers announce they are having a baby, they will get
Speaker 1: an increase in followers. But Steph Klaire Smith, a lot
Speaker 1: of her initial popularity on Instagram was because she was
Speaker 1: a model, So a lot of men follow Steph Klaire Smith.
Speaker 1: So I wonder, and I think I've heard her speak
Speaker 1: about this on the podcast before. I wonder if a
Speaker 1: lot of those men who originally followed her were like, Oh,
Speaker 1: I don't want to follow this pregnancy content. I'm not
Speaker 1: interested in this stuff about kick anymore. Because she used
Speaker 1: to be one of the biggest ossie influencers. I think
Speaker 1: she was one of the first to get to a
Speaker 1: million followers, and I think a lot of it had
Speaker 1: to do with I don't want to say creeps, but
Speaker 1: a lot of men who were like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: she's gorgeous. I want to follow her for her PENI phos. Well,
Speaker 1: if you take a look at her engagement rate on
Speaker 1: social bladeer is surprisingly quite low, so she's sitting on
Speaker 1: zero point six four percent. I did have a look
Speaker 1: at her influence appears to put that engagement rate into perspective,
Speaker 1: and her best friend Laura Henshaw has one point one percent,
Speaker 1: while Janney Tunci has two point nine, Sarah's Day has
Speaker 1: one point one five, Abby Chatfield has one point thirty seven,
Speaker 1: and Friend of the Show Courtney Mangan has three point
Speaker 1: three eight percent. So she is a micro influencer. So
Speaker 1: it's interesting to compare that. Sometimes micro influencers have a
Speaker 1: much better engagement rate to those half millions of follow ups.
Speaker 1: But also you've got a think zero point six four
Speaker 1: percent of one point four million people is a lot
Speaker 1: higher than you know, three percent eighty thirty thousand. I
Speaker 1: think people with larger followings in the millions often struggle
Speaker 1: to actually increase their engagement, right, I understand that, But
Speaker 1: it is still quite a low engagement rate, because less
Speaker 1: than one percent is considered low engagement. Well, between one
Speaker 1: and three point five is considered quite regular and good.
Speaker 1: Between three point five and six percent is high, and
Speaker 1: above six percent is very high. I think that people
Speaker 1: are engaging with content differently now. I've even noticed I
Speaker 1: feel more reluctant to like or comment on things like
Speaker 1: I would never comment on an influencer's post whereas I think,
Speaker 1: but people may direct them on which obviously leads to
Speaker 1: engagement as well. But I've seen a lot of people
Speaker 1: saying that they don't even want to like their own
Speaker 1: friends shit anymore. I think that's a bit too far.
Speaker 1: But I do think TikTok is usually a good indicator
Speaker 1: of whether an influencer is resting on their laurels of
Speaker 1: attracting a big following in the early days of Instagram,
Speaker 1: because only one hundred and forty thousand of Steph's one
Speaker 1: point four million followers have transferred across to TikTok, which
Speaker 1: is quite surprising. Why do you think so many people
Speaker 1: are up in arms about these updates about Harvey sleep Well?
Speaker 1: I did read all of the comments in our Facebook community,
Speaker 1: which I think give an interesting snapshot. So to summarize
Speaker 1: the thoughts of our community. Many people think that Steph
Speaker 1: doesn't have age appropriate expectations on her son, and some
Speaker 1: also accused her of being unrelatable and tone deaf to
Speaker 1: those who don't have a village like she does. So
Speaker 1: to put this comment into perspective, Steph gets a lot
Speaker 1: of support, not only from her husband Josh, who is
Speaker 1: the primary caregiver, but also her son's grandparents, so she
Speaker 1: often talks about them babysitting Harvey for the weekend or
Speaker 1: overnight to let her sleep in. And then others criticize
Speaker 1: Steph for sharing personal details about him, despite previously saying
Speaker 1: that she was trying to protect his privacy by covering
Speaker 1: his face. That is something that I do grapple with
Speaker 1: because quite often I see Steph's content and I noticed
Speaker 1: that she is out a lot of the times during
Speaker 1: the week, like at an influencer event or at a concert,
Speaker 1: which again I mean if he's asleep then whatever, But
Speaker 1: is that her work as well? Well, that's the thing,
Speaker 1: that's what would be quite complicated because in order to
Speaker 1: be an influencer and keep connection, she would have to
Speaker 1: go to those things, so they would be considered work.
Speaker 1: But I think that that's maybe what rubs people up
Speaker 1: the wrong way. A lot of mums who are maybe
Speaker 1: stay at home mums, like, well, I don't have this
Speaker 1: freedom and flexibility, and you know, don't you expect to
Speaker 1: have some time where maybe he wakes you up? Do
Speaker 1: you think it's also because Steph is the bread winner
Speaker 1: in quotations and that like if you reverse the roles.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine if there was a dad who was
Speaker 1: out working and his wife was at home and he
Speaker 1: was on Instagram being like, oh, I didn't even sleep
Speaker 1: last night, and now people would be like, oh, you're
Speaker 1: not even at home looking That is actually such a
Speaker 1: good point. I think it's because she tries to make
Speaker 1: her braain and also being a mother, and I think
Speaker 1: that there's this terribly outdated expectation that women should be
Speaker 1: the primary caregivers. So a lot of mums shall we
Speaker 1: get their noses out of joint and say, well, you
Speaker 1: don't even spend much time with them, which isn't the
Speaker 1: common complaint about Steph. I mean, people have even blamed
Speaker 1: her son's sleep issues because she goes to work, which
Speaker 1: I think is completely unfair. I mean, there was a
Speaker 1: small portion of comment as in our Facebook group saying
Speaker 1: that they found Steph's updates very refreshing, especially those who
Speaker 1: also struggle with their children's sleep, and they said it
Speaker 1: made them feel less guilty about not being the perfect mum.
Speaker 1: One listener also a reminder of the community that Steph
Speaker 1: is running a multimillion dollar company while being pregnant and
Speaker 1: a mum. I do think there is an element of
Speaker 1: internalized misogyny at play, as much as we may not
Speaker 1: want to admit it, I think it still is a
Speaker 1: foreign concept for a lot of us to wrap our
Speaker 1: heads around that the mother goes out to work full
Speaker 1: time and the dad is a stay at home parent,
Speaker 1: and maybe one that a lot of us are envious of,
Speaker 1: because when I look at this, I currently am the
Speaker 1: primary care giver of my son, and I'm like, jeez,
Speaker 1: it'd be nice to get to go to all of
Speaker 1: these events and also work as much as I want
Speaker 1: to and then also enjoy my beautiful son. I also
Speaker 1: think a lot of people were triggered by the fact
Speaker 1: that Steph said that Harvey had slept eleven hours that night,
Speaker 1: and she also followed it up because a lot of
Speaker 1: people were like, well, maybe don't put him down at
Speaker 1: six pm. Put him down a little bit later, so
Speaker 1: then he sleeps a little bit later. But then she goes, oh,
Speaker 1: when am I is meant to have time to spend
Speaker 1: with Josh? And then it's like, but the kid's not
Speaker 1: a robody, can't just fit automatically into the times that
Speaker 1: you want him to be awake. I have to defend
Speaker 1: Steph a little bit though, because I do think we
Speaker 1: need to cut her some slack the fact that she
Speaker 1: is thirty weeks pregnant. Sometimes when I see her putting
Speaker 1: up her stories and she's spoke speaking about losing it
Speaker 1: at Harvey, I get it. Pregnancy rage is real, and
Speaker 1: it would be so difficult being sleep deprived. I mean,
Speaker 1: as the woman your body is going through so much,
Speaker 1: she's probably not sleeping. She's probably sleeping next to her
Speaker 1: partner who's fucking snoring all not. And then she's having
Speaker 1: to go out and slogger guts out in the gym
Speaker 1: for kick she's working really long. I mean, Kay, you mentioned, Oh,
Speaker 1: it seems like she's out having all this fun, but
Speaker 1: she would be missing her child every day. She would
Speaker 1: be experiencing mum guilt. So it's not that bizarre to
Speaker 1: me that she would have moments where she would lose
Speaker 1: it at her toddler. And I kind of respect that
Speaker 1: she's sharing about it because a lot of mums can
Speaker 1: feel like they relate to that. Yeah, but I think
Speaker 1: that she opens herself up to criticism by sharing about it.
Speaker 1: And I know you said that there is that back
Speaker 1: to where people can be like, oh, I do that,
Speaker 1: it makes me feel better about not being a perfect mum.
Speaker 1: But you can't say that she's not opening herself up
Speaker 1: to criticism because there's a lot of people who follow
Speaker 1: her that don't have children, and when you don't have children,
Speaker 1: you don't realize how much sleep actually controls your life.
Speaker 1: I think Steph's attempt to try and remain relatable is
Speaker 1: actually rubbing people up the wrong way. And someone who
Speaker 1: is actually doing a good job of remaining relatable throughout
Speaker 1: parenthood is Jade Tunci, who is also a friend of Steph.
Speaker 1: So she often speaks on an Instagram story about the
Speaker 1: difficulties of motherhood and she backs it up by then
Speaker 1: genuinely sharing things that she loves about. That kind of
Speaker 1: balances its way out. And Jarday shared this week about
Speaker 1: how her nine month old keeps waking up inconsolably and
Speaker 1: won't sleep overnight, and she apologized to her non parent
Speaker 1: followers and said, before she had her son, she used
Speaker 1: to find it really irritating hearing parents go on and
Speaker 1: on about their children's sleep, and she said, after being
Speaker 1: in the sleep trenches for nine months now, she totally
Speaker 1: gets it because it just consumes you and takes up
Speaker 1: eighty percent of your attention and rules your life. Jarday
Speaker 1: Tunci is somebody who has really gone up in my
Speaker 1: view of influences because I know we spoke about her
Speaker 1: in quite a critical way when she was the betrothed,
Speaker 1: but I think it was because we didn't get her
Speaker 1: sense of humor. I've seen a completely different side to
Speaker 1: her since she's had that podcast with her husband, and
Speaker 1: she is quickly becoming one of my favorite influence. I
Speaker 1: don't necessarily think we saw the wrong side of her.
Speaker 1: I thought maybe maybe motherhood has changed her a bit,
Speaker 1: because she was calling out a lot of that. You know,
Speaker 1: she got in trouble for calling out a luxury you know,
Speaker 1: honeymoon Spot. There were you know, she did do some
Speaker 1: things that were wrong, saying everything she has done previously
Speaker 1: was perfec But now I know her sense of humor,
Speaker 1: I actually get it more. And I've heard around the
Speaker 1: traps that she's actually one of the nicest influences at events.
Speaker 1: She's very funny, she talks to everybody, and she wants
Speaker 1: to unblock us so we can still follow her content.
Speaker 1: No great, I do follow her on my finster and
Speaker 1: I very much enjoy her content because my son is
Speaker 1: the same does Yeah, my son's the same age as
Speaker 1: her son, So I relate on that level now. On Thursday,
Speaker 1: off the back of jar Day's update, Steph explained that
Speaker 1: she shares Harvey's sleep updates for a little solidarity and
Speaker 1: to make others feel like they're less alone if they're
Speaker 1: going through a similar thing. She also said this.
Speaker 3: Also, this is my last story about sleep tonight today.
Speaker 3: But I saw jar Day post about this the other
Speaker 3: day and it made me laugh because I know that
Speaker 3: there's people who are so over me talking about Harvy sleep.
Speaker 3: Trust me, I've been basically doing it since the day.
Speaker 2: He was here.
Speaker 3: But I feel like the people that are over it
Speaker 3: are the people that get to sleep at night, whether
Speaker 3: they don't have children or they have children who have
Speaker 3: not really had much trouble with sleeping. The people who
Speaker 3: are over it are generally the ones that can't relate.
Speaker 3: So next time you think like, oh, can there she
Speaker 3: goes talking about sleep again, think how grateful am I
Speaker 3: that my mind is not consumed by sleep all the time.
Speaker 1: Now, as a mother of a nine month old, I
Speaker 1: can definitely vouch for Steph that sleep absolutely consumes you.
Speaker 1: Even when your child is sleeping, you are then working
Speaker 1: an overdrive to ensure you stick to the same routine
Speaker 1: to make sure it keeps happening. So I totally get this,
Speaker 1: and in saying that the f updates have still rubbed
Speaker 1: me up the wrong way. So I suppose some of
Speaker 1: us have to look at ourselves and work out what's
Speaker 1: going on and why that is. Well. I saw this
Speaker 1: TikTok the other day and it was saying, can we
Speaker 1: normalize that people who don't have children and are in
Speaker 1: their thirties and are working full time are also tired?
Speaker 1: And that went off. I mean, I couldn't agree more.
Speaker 1: Obviously I haven't experienced. Can we come back and see
Speaker 1: if you agree. I'm saying, I just don't like this
Speaker 1: tone that only people with children are tired. Yeah, other
Speaker 1: people being thirty five that I have been incredibly tired
Speaker 1: with your pregnant time, no, but working in a full
Speaker 1: time career life. I'm not going to diminish how tired
Speaker 1: I have previously. Okay, well, I invite you in this
Speaker 1: time next year to see if you have a different Kate.
Speaker 1: Kate is currently the boss or the president of the
Speaker 1: Just You wait, committee. I think ultimately what this comes
Speaker 1: down to is people want to have a winge online
Speaker 1: and other people think that they've got it harder than Steph,
Speaker 1: so she's not entitled to a winge. I think that
Speaker 1: that's the summary of a situation. I also think anytime
Speaker 1: you mention anything about parenting, everyone's going to have a
Speaker 1: different opinion on it. Let's get into our Friday debrief.
Speaker 1: Fun fact, it is our thirty six birthday today, so
Speaker 1: if you have been spiraling about it, people on our
Speaker 1: subs will know what we're talking about. Actually be inspiraling.
Speaker 1: I think that's a bit unfair. I've actually said I'm
Speaker 1: excited to turn thirty six because that was the age
Speaker 1: i'm Princess Diana to have been, and I always thought, yes,
Speaker 1: I know, that's the little dark bit of it. Of course,
Speaker 1: she did pass away at that age, but I'm saying
Speaker 1: that I thought it was a cool age because that
Speaker 1: was when she was coming into her own and she
Speaker 1: finally had her voice and she was very confident. See
Speaker 1: that's why I think you were spiraling, because I found
Speaker 1: that quite sick. I didn't really think about the whole
Speaker 1: death bit, but I just thought, oh, thirty six sounds
Speaker 1: cool because I associated with Princess Diana. Look whatever get
Speaker 1: Sophie through her birthday without complaining. I've got a bit
Speaker 1: of a share for this week that if anyone is eating,
Speaker 1: please put your food away. I was told off for
Speaker 1: telling this story at family dinner whilst Amy was consuming
Speaker 1: her meal. But we had a bit of a mystery
Speaker 1: this week because on Saturday, we walked out to go
Speaker 1: to the car, and we've had a lot of work
Speaker 1: going under our house. We had this pile of sand
Speaker 1: in front of the house and I thought the neighbour's
Speaker 1: dog had come over and done a big pooh on
Speaker 1: this dirt. It turned out it was actually intestinees. So
Speaker 1: there was an animal which had been killed by something
Speaker 1: and they'd eaten everything but the intestines. Anyway, we thought
Speaker 1: that this was particularly odd because we'd watched this murder
Speaker 1: show on Netflix, and basically the whole crux of it
Speaker 1: was that this murderer would string up animal intestines in
Speaker 1: the yard as a sign that they're about to strike
Speaker 1: and murder someone else. So we were like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: this is so free. They were animal and testine. Well
Speaker 1: that's what we thought. Oh, my god, is this like
Speaker 1: a serial killer on the loose? Is this that someone
Speaker 1: playing a perspective? For those who don't know that, you
Speaker 1: live in the Adelaide Hills, so there's a lot of
Speaker 1: wildlife around us in some suburban street guts on the front.
Speaker 1: And we were like, only girl, we can't live in
Speaker 1: the hills so much longer. This is gross. Fast forward
Speaker 1: to two days later, Brannon goes out into our backyard
Speaker 1: and finds a possum head perched on the ground, just
Speaker 1: the head, nothing else. Thought, always someone playing a prank
Speaker 1: on us? What is going on? We did a research.
Speaker 1: It is a fox. I saw the fox last night
Speaker 1: when I got home. It had its little white tail
Speaker 1: in the yard. It freaked me out. Just something quite
Speaker 1: magical about seeing foxes in the world, Like they freak
Speaker 1: me out, but they're such majestic at mine. We're just
Speaker 1: so sad because we literally used to have a possum
Speaker 1: that ran past our bedroom at twelve o'clock every night.
Speaker 1: I'm like, is that the puzzle? Oh? So sad? So sad.
Speaker 1: A more positive ship, I do have a bit more
Speaker 1: of a positive update. It said I have finally sold
Speaker 1: my car, so I have been wheeling and dealing trying
Speaker 1: to sell my old car on Facebook marketplace and also
Speaker 1: car sales, and my goodness, my ad had over a
Speaker 1: thousand views. Every man and his dog was reaching out
Speaker 1: to me wanting this car. It was a Mazda to
Speaker 1: apparently their hot property at the moment. But the amount
Speaker 1: of time wasters has been incredible. I also am shocked
Speaker 1: people would rock up with their mechanics to check out
Speaker 1: the car. That's smart. It was smart. But the person
Speaker 1: who eventually bought it, he said he wanted to do
Speaker 1: an RAA check. So he came along this guy, like
Speaker 1: this guy in his sixties with his twenty eight year
Speaker 1: old son. The mother ca him along too, and they said, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll do an RAA check. They never did one. They
Speaker 1: ended up purchasing the car. Didn't they ask you if
Speaker 1: it came in another color? And You're like, I don't
Speaker 1: know if. Yeah. The funniest thing was, because I'm so pregnant,
Speaker 1: I just made Dale deal with them. Also, poor Dale,
Speaker 1: he's like six foot five. He's having to get into
Speaker 1: the back of this tiny Master too to do all
Speaker 1: of these test drives with all these fucking Randos. And yeah,
Speaker 1: they said to dab, I'll just come in a different color,
Speaker 1: and Dale was like, well, we've only got it in red. Well,
Speaker 1: actually it does come in another color because I'm currently
Speaker 1: trying to sell my Master Too as well, which comes
Speaker 1: in black, if anyone is interested. Now having regret because
Speaker 1: I just traded my Master Too in at the dealership
Speaker 1: got like nothing for it. I told you, kay, this
Speaker 1: is why people people just trade it in. I got
Speaker 1: offered some pitiful amount to trade it in and I said, no,
Speaker 1: I'm going to spell it might be fair. This has
Speaker 1: taken about ten months, yeah, but it make quite a
Speaker 1: bit of vecta. It's also because we haven't been bothered.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: One of the other funny things is new the new
Speaker 1: owner of my car said was he goes, oh, can
Speaker 1: I do donuts? Like does it do? And my husband
Speaker 1: was like, well, she hasn't been doing donut, but it
Speaker 1: is red, so maybe it goes quite fast.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Now, I think that is all we have time for today.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us for this episode.
Speaker 1: If you have enjoyed it, could you please make sure
Speaker 1: you are subscribed on Apple Podcasts and Spotify And if
Speaker 1: you do enjoy the podcast, we would absolutely love it
Speaker 1: if you could leave us a five star review. This
Speaker 1: episode was recorded on the traditional land of the Ghana
Speaker 1: people of the Adelaide Planes. We pay respect to elders
Speaker 1: past and present.