Speaker 1: I thought the radio talkback tings is where we play
Speaker 1: some really weird shit that happens on talkback radio, because
Speaker 1: I think it's safe to assume that our listeners don't
Speaker 1: really tune in themselves. No, but it's okay. Any good
Speaker 1: shit that happens will bring it to you here.
Speaker 2: You actually source most of the content because actually no,
Speaker 2: I saw us from midnight onwards. But it's the trenches
Speaker 2: of AM radio. They're billy breathing that past twelve at night.
Speaker 3: My god.
Speaker 1: Yes, I think I've found most of them so far,
Speaker 1: but like I said, I've never had to look any
Speaker 1: further than two SM that one particular station in Sydney
Speaker 1: where oh the most random and weird shit happens. And
Speaker 1: we've done John Laws before here on the show, he's
Speaker 1: back again. I've got one from the archives today. It's
Speaker 1: an oldly bit of goodie that my dad was telling
Speaker 1: me about. So you know how most talkback listeners are
Speaker 1: ancient and maybe they don't have Google. So this particular
Speaker 1: audio we're about to hear, an old lady called into
Speaker 1: John Laws and she'd heard an ad during the ad
Speaker 1: break on his show, and she was asking for the details.
Speaker 1: She's like, oh, sorry, I heard that ad? What was
Speaker 1: their phone number?
Speaker 2: Standard?
Speaker 1: So it was an AD for a nursery, Pikes nursery.
Speaker 1: So firstly, how would you spell Pikes p y k
Speaker 1: es correct? So he had a bit of trouble passing
Speaker 1: that message on to her, but he did not give up.
Speaker 1: So strap yourself in. This goes on for a while.
Speaker 1: He was determined to get it to her, and as
Speaker 1: you know John Law's very little patience. Yes, but he persisted.
Speaker 3: Here it is, I'll tell you what to do ring
Speaker 3: Pikes nurseries? What nursery Pikes Pike yes, p y k
Speaker 3: e s I What am I known to deserve this?
Speaker 3: Would you spell that again for me?
Speaker 4: Hey? I?
Speaker 3: Ah?
Speaker 4: In did you cry? No?
Speaker 3: Man? No? I said, p Why? Oh why esp? Why
Speaker 3: is in Yankee? K is in Kilo? He is in Echoes?
Speaker 3: Is in stupid Pikes p y k e s Pike's nurseries,
Speaker 3: py y?
Speaker 4: I pray?
Speaker 3: But will we try it again? Ma'am? Okay, you ready? Now?
Speaker 3: You got your pencil? Handy? Okay?
Speaker 4: P No P.
Speaker 3: As in piddle? Why? Hey? I got from p P?
Speaker 3: You got the P there? That's right? And why why
Speaker 3: as in Yankee? That's right. Okay, then you have a
Speaker 3: K K as in kill K P y A.
Speaker 4: OK.
Speaker 3: Don't get excited, ma'am. Can I ask you a leading question?
Speaker 3: Do you have trouble hearing? I have? Yes? All right, man,
Speaker 3: Well we'll try it again. P why why K K
Speaker 3: K yes K is in kill? Yes? Ees? God? You
Speaker 3: got that? Would you spell? Would you spell it back
Speaker 3: to me? Now? K?
Speaker 4: Why? I?
Speaker 3: Oh, no, it's not right. Oh it's not right. P
Speaker 3: y K E S P I y E? Where do
Speaker 3: you do A from? I haven't said A anywhere? P
Speaker 3: you got the pre right? Why? I? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
Speaker 3: Is in yankee?
Speaker 4: Why?
Speaker 2: K O?
Speaker 3: God save me? How can A K and an E
Speaker 3: sounded like? Yes? I will? I will. I throw myself
Speaker 3: right down the microphone choke you to death in a minute.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm going to do. Hey, y e, did
Speaker 3: you say no?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: I didn't know. I don't think we're ever going to
Speaker 3: make it, ma'am. Are we I don't think that. I
Speaker 3: don't think that I'm ever going to be able to
Speaker 3: give you this telephone number. I mean, this is just
Speaker 3: the name. Imagine that when I start to get to
Speaker 3: the telephone number and it's a nursery, is it? Yes?
Speaker 3: It is? Strangely enough, give me the number of it.
Speaker 3: Oh God, can I a telephone? That's all right?
Speaker 5: Here?
Speaker 3: Are you ready? I'll take the risk. Are you ready? Okay?
Speaker 3: Do you have your pen at the ready? Okay?
Speaker 5: Six?
Speaker 3: Six good? That's very good? Free three Jesus, I don't
Speaker 3: know but that I don't have a captiti silverbiz in
Speaker 3: my ear. Okay, Well, I'll say it very quietly. Can
Speaker 3: you hear me? Six three three very good? Six three
Speaker 3: nine nine and another nine eight eight very good? Five
Speaker 3: five one one, Yes, that's it? Yes, would you read
Speaker 3: it back to me? Six none nine five on the
Speaker 3: legend eight five one you've got it, You've got it.
Speaker 3: I so just dial the telephone number, and God help
Speaker 3: Bruce pick.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, they got there and the end in
Speaker 1: and they that is the best yet and that would
Speaker 1: only happen on talkback. Oh for kill I open. Halfway
Speaker 1: through he realized this is goal.
Speaker 2: I'm where was she getting the A from?
Speaker 1: And then seeing the fokay, wow, could they be in
Speaker 1: a number.
Speaker 2: I've never heard him get that animated before I know.
Speaker 1: We'll see this was many years ago, right, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: So I understand now why they call him the man
Speaker 1: with the Golden tonsils, because that was quite a booming.
Speaker 2: Rich voice that was beautiful.
Speaker 1: These days, he doesn't really sound like that anymore. So.
Speaker 1: I the reason I've had to dig into the archives
Speaker 1: as well is because his podcast doesn't get updated anymore.
Speaker 1: There hasn't been a new episode. I know. Well, that's
Speaker 1: how I usually find shit of his to play on
Speaker 1: talkback teams, because I'm at work when he's on air. Ah,
Speaker 1: that's why most of the stuff comes from the night show.
Speaker 1: And now that John Lawd's podcast has disappeared, I can't
Speaker 1: find the audio, but also the most recent episode, which
Speaker 1: was mid March. He really doesn't sound well really, so
Speaker 1: play the old one. This is what he used to
Speaker 1: sound like.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'll tell you what to do, Ring Pike's nurseries.
Speaker 2: Booming, dice and particulate.
Speaker 1: This is him in the most recent podcast upload.
Speaker 5: In the past couple of hours. The World Health Organization
Speaker 5: has described the coronavirus as the defining health crisis of
Speaker 5: our generation.
Speaker 3: What they are at, well do you oh?
Speaker 5: What they are advocating is reggata testing for the virus's
Speaker 5: pressure mounts for personal restrictions to on visits to pubs
Speaker 5: and movie houses and age care homes many ANZAC Day
Speaker 5: commemorations across.
Speaker 1: You can tell that it's turning his mic off to
Speaker 1: A but it's still there irony, of course, being that
Speaker 1: he's talking about coronavirusy.
Speaker 2: She sounds like he's on a death a ventilator. I know,
Speaker 2: I know he is up in his eighties, right.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but good on him for still being on error.
Speaker 1: Given to go, but just like, how the fuck am
Speaker 1: I supposed to find audio to play on our podcast
Speaker 1: and he's stopped uploading episodes of your podcast? It was
Speaker 1: seventeenth of March, was the last up? That's the last
Speaker 1: podcast episode?
Speaker 2: Poor Avid listeners who can't you know, be up at
Speaker 2: the Cracker daor on. They might have medical appointments to
Speaker 2: see to listen to their favorite shock.
Speaker 1: I know. Maybe they just assumed that his listeners don't
Speaker 1: listen to podcasts, but they're wrong. Here I am here,
Speaker 1: I am refreshing it going.
Speaker 2: Come on, mate, what should we call them?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 1: Great minds think alike? Yeah, that's actually what I was
Speaker 1: going to get you to do.
Speaker 3: Oh, let's do it.
Speaker 2: Let's call like reception and yeah.
Speaker 1: This is exactly what I was going to get you. Okay,
Speaker 1: I want you to be an old man.
Speaker 2: No, I want to be a woman.
Speaker 3: I don't want to be a man.
Speaker 2: Too close to.
Speaker 1: Reality either works. Just be someone who would listen to
Speaker 1: John Law's call two sm reception and be like, where
Speaker 1: the fuck's the podcast? Yeah it's been months, I'm worried.
Speaker 1: Is John's still on air?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 1: Where? Easy?
Speaker 2: I got the number? All right, I'm gonna call. I'm
Speaker 2: gonna be Dot. Oh Wiggins, Okay, I've got the number.
Speaker 2: Are we ready?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I've never seen you? So are you going to
Speaker 1: do a prank call?
Speaker 2: I thought my alter ego is a ninety seven year
Speaker 2: old woman named Dot. All right, let's ring, okay? M
Speaker 2: hmm yeah, m hmm. Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hi, Hello,
Speaker 2: my name is Dot. Is this reception desk? Reception?
Speaker 4: Hi? Yep?
Speaker 1: Query?
Speaker 2: Listen? What did you say?
Speaker 4: Your name was Ben? Ben? From two of them?
Speaker 2: Ben?
Speaker 3: I my name is Dot.
Speaker 2: How are you Ben?
Speaker 4: I'm good things?
Speaker 2: So are you been better? I've been better?
Speaker 3: I have a query.
Speaker 2: I listened to the John Laws Morning show program every day. Religious.
Speaker 2: I mean I'm not a religious person, but I listen
Speaker 2: every day, and for love of God, I can't listen anymore.
Speaker 2: You've seen in the morning stud too. I have to
Speaker 2: get my knee lanced. I've got passing my knee. It's
Speaker 2: a whole thing. But I can't seem to listen live,
Speaker 2: so I have to listen via podcasts. However, there hasn't
Speaker 2: been a podcast updated then since March. Middle of March.
Speaker 4: Middle of March.
Speaker 2: Really the John Laws program, And gosh, I haven't heard
Speaker 2: his voice in months.
Speaker 4: Really okay?
Speaker 2: And my God's son Bailey taught me how to podcasts
Speaker 2: and I go on every morning without It takes me
Speaker 2: twenty minutes to get on and I click it open.
Speaker 2: At March sevente I've written it down in my like
Speaker 2: bad March seventeen. Here's the last podcasts from John Laws.
Speaker 4: Okay, March right now, I'll check the website right now?
Speaker 4: Is here?
Speaker 2: Is everything okay with John?
Speaker 4: Yes, everything's okay with John. He was sick today so
Speaker 4: he didn't get on today. Oh no, let me check.
Speaker 4: His last show was yesterday.
Speaker 2: Tell him tell him dot from Wanga Barradine censor. He'll
Speaker 2: know me. We had a briefly in vague night but
Speaker 2: tell him, I said, I am my regards. So the
Speaker 2: podcast just don't they don't get put on, they don't
Speaker 2: get thumb drived in. They're not on anymore.
Speaker 4: They are in. They're on the website.
Speaker 2: Oh no, Apple, not the website Apple Ben Apple.
Speaker 6: Okay, it's it is lavender in color and the applic
Speaker 6: application has a little boy with two rings around their head.
Speaker 4: Okay you might. Oh, I'm not sure if that's the
Speaker 4: right one. You might have to download an app called
Speaker 4: tune in, turn in t u n euni base.
Speaker 2: I'm getting a pan hold.
Speaker 4: On ben yep. So it should be on the app
Speaker 4: store who it's called tune in, or if you're finding difficulties,
Speaker 4: you can go on the website.
Speaker 2: No, no, I don't want to go on the website.
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 2: I'm with do dough at My internet is dreadful. Then
Speaker 2: I oh, okay, yes, the Apple podcast app you see
Speaker 2: comes on my phone. It's already there.
Speaker 4: Okay, oh okay, it shouldn't be on our side. I
Speaker 4: think Apple hasn't updated the thing. But I'll pass it
Speaker 4: onto management to see if worse. They're on Apple. But
Speaker 4: but it should be on an app called tune in
Speaker 4: if you download that app so you can listen to
Speaker 4: other radio stations as well. So that's b U n
Speaker 4: E no no no tune in t U n E
Speaker 4: tune So t w n e l n no no
Speaker 4: tune t U n e.
Speaker 2: I N like Looney tune. T O O N.
Speaker 4: No no no t t U m e n E
Speaker 4: no tune like tuning the radio tune in t U
Speaker 4: n e E space n I M.
Speaker 2: You should be under United Nations. For I am I Oh,
Speaker 2: I am.
Speaker 4: I am okay, I got to pick up all the indigo.
Speaker 2: Hold on, wait Jamie, Jamie, I've indigo and then N
Speaker 2: for Nelly. Yes, yeah, all right, so spell it with
Speaker 2: me one more time.
Speaker 4: Ready, t U n E O N I am no, I.
Speaker 2: Am listen, I've got God, I'll get my grands don together.
Speaker 2: You send Jonathan. Have I said this? We meet your
Speaker 2: name had right way back when we both live in
Speaker 2: more and Mardeen.
Speaker 4: So can you repeat that again?
Speaker 2: Well, we lived in one but aaradeine. We both had
Speaker 2: a little I don't want to get too much and
Speaker 2: I'm going to start blastic. This is why I need
Speaker 2: to talk to him and listen to the podcasts I
Speaker 2: will make it happen. It's okay, listen, thank you for everything.
Speaker 2: You're a very young boy. Do you have a girlfriend, Ben?
Speaker 4: So, my name is Ben.
Speaker 2: Do you have a girlfriend.
Speaker 4: I know, I don't know my.
Speaker 2: Grandson. He's not straight, but I don't know what you are.
Speaker 2: But I could maybe I could talk to him and
Speaker 2: see if maybe you could just be friends. He loves
Speaker 2: love to get into broadcasting. He's an artist, so he
Speaker 2: doesn't make any money. But I could talk to him
Speaker 2: and maybe get that to happen.
Speaker 4: Are no, I'm good? Thank you all.
Speaker 2: Right, Ben, thank you so much.
Speaker 4: Have a nice day. Who bye, who bye?
Speaker 1: Thank you? Oh my god, but Jesus like that all
Speaker 1: day every day.
Speaker 2: I so calm, cool and collected. Oh god, he did
Speaker 2: that really well. So I went in and out of
Speaker 2: a very deep British excent.
Speaker 1: I didn't even yeah, I did. I notice the accent
Speaker 1: was fluctuating. I never even considered this as an option. God,
Speaker 1: I wish we didn't have fucking jobs during John Laws's show.
Speaker 1: How good would it be if we could get through
Speaker 1: and you relived.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, like you did.
Speaker 1: Pike's Nursery two point zero, like you got him to
Speaker 1: spell you something that's brilliant. You might not have as
Speaker 1: much patience these I don't think he would.
Speaker 2: He would that quick to realize that there's gold in
Speaker 2: this material. He is such a beautiful boy. Jesus Christ. Wow,
Speaker 2: I love that. I'm going to take Dot on a
Speaker 2: tour around the country.
Speaker 1: You should, Jesus, You're right, Alien. The old woman came
Speaker 1: a lot more naturally to you than the old man character. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the old man have sounded.
Speaker 3: Like Hello, just crue it's always right British.
Speaker 1: No, I preferred Dot.
Speaker 2: It must be easier to do, guys. Wow, get tune
Speaker 2: in to Mike.
Speaker 1: That was Also they're really really dumb for not having
Speaker 1: their podcast on Apple, and rather than saying, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll fix that, they go no, no, go to our
Speaker 1: website or tune in instead, Like, there's no way that's
Speaker 1: a good like if not that this would be high
Speaker 1: on twosm's priority list, but that's a very bad podcast strategy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I don't think that's exactly top of the listener.
Speaker 1: I think like eighty nine percent of our listeners are
Speaker 1: on Apple, by the way. Really yeah, so like like
Speaker 1: Apple is still the number one app that most people
Speaker 1: use for podcasts and so the fact that they're not
Speaker 1: on there is really fucking stuff.
Speaker 2: So he didn't get an answer, like he didn't really
Speaker 2: know what was happening.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think he knew it. Get tune ink.
Speaker 1: You can follow the show online.
Speaker 3: Just search a couple of miches.
Speaker 1: If you don't, you're a dickhead.