WEBVTT - TALKBACK TINGZ: John Laws VS. The deaf old lady 📻

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<v Speaker 1>I thought the radio talkback tings is where we play

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<v Speaker 1>some really weird shit that happens on talkback radio, because

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's safe to assume that our listeners don't

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<v Speaker 1>really tune in themselves. No, but it's okay. Any good

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<v Speaker 1>shit that happens will bring it to you here.

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<v Speaker 2>You actually source most of the content because actually no,

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<v Speaker 2>I saw us from midnight onwards. But it's the trenches

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<v Speaker 2>of AM radio. They're billy breathing that past twelve at night.

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<v Speaker 3>My god.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, I think I've found most of them so far,

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<v Speaker 1>but like I said, I've never had to look any

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<v Speaker 1>further than two SM that one particular station in Sydney

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<v Speaker 1>where oh the most random and weird shit happens. And

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<v Speaker 1>we've done John Laws before here on the show, he's

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<v Speaker 1>back again. I've got one from the archives today. It's

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<v Speaker 1>an oldly bit of goodie that my dad was telling

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<v Speaker 1>me about. So you know how most talkback listeners are

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<v Speaker 1>ancient and maybe they don't have Google. So this particular

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<v Speaker 1>audio we're about to hear, an old lady called into

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<v Speaker 1>John Laws and she'd heard an ad during the ad

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<v Speaker 1>break on his show, and she was asking for the details.

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<v Speaker 1>She's like, oh, sorry, I heard that ad? What was

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<v Speaker 1>their phone number?

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<v Speaker 2>Standard?

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<v Speaker 1>So it was an AD for a nursery, Pikes nursery.

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<v Speaker 1>So firstly, how would you spell Pikes p y k

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<v Speaker 1>es correct? So he had a bit of trouble passing

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<v Speaker 1>that message on to her, but he did not give up.

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<v Speaker 1>So strap yourself in. This goes on for a while.

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<v Speaker 1>He was determined to get it to her, and as

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<v Speaker 1>you know John Law's very little patience. Yes, but he persisted.

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<v Speaker 3>Here it is, I'll tell you what to do ring

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<v Speaker 3>Pikes nurseries? What nursery Pikes Pike yes, p y k

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<v Speaker 3>e s I What am I known to deserve this?

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<v Speaker 3>Would you spell that again for me?

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<v Speaker 4>Hey? I?

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<v Speaker 3>Ah?

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<v Speaker 4>In did you cry? No?

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<v Speaker 3>Man? No? I said, p Why? Oh why esp? Why

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<v Speaker 3>is in Yankee? K is in Kilo? He is in Echoes?

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<v Speaker 3>Is in stupid Pikes p y k e s Pike's nurseries,

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<v Speaker 3>py y?

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<v Speaker 4>I pray?

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<v Speaker 3>But will we try it again? Ma'am? Okay, you ready? Now?

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<v Speaker 3>You got your pencil? Handy? Okay?

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<v Speaker 4>P No P.

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<v Speaker 3>As in piddle? Why? Hey? I got from p P?

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<v Speaker 3>You got the P there? That's right? And why why

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<v Speaker 3>as in Yankee? That's right. Okay, then you have a

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<v Speaker 3>K K as in kill K P y A.

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<v Speaker 4>OK.

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<v Speaker 3>Don't get excited, ma'am. Can I ask you a leading question?

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<v Speaker 3>Do you have trouble hearing? I have? Yes? All right, man,

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<v Speaker 3>Well we'll try it again. P why why K K

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<v Speaker 3>K yes K is in kill? Yes? Ees? God? You

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<v Speaker 3>got that? Would you spell? Would you spell it back

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<v Speaker 3>to me? Now? K?

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<v Speaker 4>Why? I?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, no, it's not right. Oh it's not right. P

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<v Speaker 3>y K E S P I y E? Where do

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<v Speaker 3>you do A from? I haven't said A anywhere? P

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<v Speaker 3>you got the pre right? Why? I? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

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<v Speaker 3>Is in yankee?

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<v Speaker 4>Why?

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<v Speaker 2>K O?

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<v Speaker 3>God save me? How can A K and an E

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<v Speaker 3>sounded like? Yes? I will? I will. I throw myself

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<v Speaker 3>right down the microphone choke you to death in a minute.

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<v Speaker 3>That's what I'm going to do. Hey, y e, did

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<v Speaker 3>you say no?

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<v Speaker 4>No?

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't know. I don't think we're ever going to

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<v Speaker 3>make it, ma'am. Are we I don't think that. I

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<v Speaker 3>don't think that I'm ever going to be able to

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<v Speaker 3>give you this telephone number. I mean, this is just

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<v Speaker 3>the name. Imagine that when I start to get to

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<v Speaker 3>the telephone number and it's a nursery, is it? Yes?

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<v Speaker 3>It is? Strangely enough, give me the number of it.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh God, can I a telephone? That's all right?

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<v Speaker 5>Here?

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<v Speaker 3>Are you ready? I'll take the risk. Are you ready? Okay?

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<v Speaker 3>Do you have your pen at the ready? Okay?

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<v Speaker 5>Six?

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<v Speaker 3>Six good? That's very good? Free three Jesus, I don't

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<v Speaker 3>know but that I don't have a captiti silverbiz in

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<v Speaker 3>my ear. Okay, Well, I'll say it very quietly. Can

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<v Speaker 3>you hear me? Six three three very good? Six three

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<v Speaker 3>nine nine and another nine eight eight very good? Five

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<v Speaker 3>five one one, Yes, that's it? Yes, would you read

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<v Speaker 3>it back to me? Six none nine five on the

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<v Speaker 3>legend eight five one you've got it, You've got it.

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<v Speaker 3>I so just dial the telephone number, and God help

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<v Speaker 3>Bruce pick.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, they got there and the end in

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<v Speaker 1>and they that is the best yet and that would

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<v Speaker 1>only happen on talkback. Oh for kill I open. Halfway

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<v Speaker 1>through he realized this is goal.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm where was she getting the A from?

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<v Speaker 1>And then seeing the fokay, wow, could they be in

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<v Speaker 1>a number.

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<v Speaker 2>I've never heard him get that animated before I know.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll see this was many years ago, right, right, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So I understand now why they call him the man

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<v Speaker 1>with the Golden tonsils, because that was quite a booming.

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<v Speaker 2>Rich voice that was beautiful.

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<v Speaker 1>These days, he doesn't really sound like that anymore. So.

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<v Speaker 1>I the reason I've had to dig into the archives

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<v Speaker 1>as well is because his podcast doesn't get updated anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>There hasn't been a new episode. I know. Well, that's

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<v Speaker 1>how I usually find shit of his to play on

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<v Speaker 1>talkback teams, because I'm at work when he's on air. Ah,

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<v Speaker 1>that's why most of the stuff comes from the night show.

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<v Speaker 1>And now that John Lawd's podcast has disappeared, I can't

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<v Speaker 1>find the audio, but also the most recent episode, which

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<v Speaker 1>was mid March. He really doesn't sound well really, so

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<v Speaker 1>play the old one. This is what he used to

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<v Speaker 1>sound like.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, I'll tell you what to do, Ring Pike's nurseries.

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<v Speaker 2>Booming, dice and particulate.

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<v Speaker 1>This is him in the most recent podcast upload.

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<v Speaker 5>In the past couple of hours. The World Health Organization

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<v Speaker 5>has described the coronavirus as the defining health crisis of

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<v Speaker 5>our generation.

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<v Speaker 3>What they are at, well do you oh?

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<v Speaker 5>What they are advocating is reggata testing for the virus's

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<v Speaker 5>pressure mounts for personal restrictions to on visits to pubs

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<v Speaker 5>and movie houses and age care homes many ANZAC Day

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<v Speaker 5>commemorations across.

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<v Speaker 1>You can tell that it's turning his mic off to

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<v Speaker 1>A but it's still there irony, of course, being that

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<v Speaker 1>he's talking about coronavirusy.

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<v Speaker 2>She sounds like he's on a death a ventilator. I know,

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<v Speaker 2>I know he is up in his eighties, right.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, but good on him for still being on error.

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<v Speaker 1>Given to go, but just like, how the fuck am

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<v Speaker 1>I supposed to find audio to play on our podcast

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<v Speaker 1>and he's stopped uploading episodes of your podcast? It was

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<v Speaker 1>seventeenth of March, was the last up? That's the last

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<v Speaker 1>podcast episode?

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<v Speaker 2>Poor Avid listeners who can't you know, be up at

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<v Speaker 2>the Cracker daor on. They might have medical appointments to

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<v Speaker 2>see to listen to their favorite shock.

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<v Speaker 1>I know. Maybe they just assumed that his listeners don't

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<v Speaker 1>listen to podcasts, but they're wrong. Here I am here,

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<v Speaker 1>I am refreshing it going.

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<v Speaker 2>Come on, mate, what should we call them?

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<v Speaker 5>Well?

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<v Speaker 1>Great minds think alike? Yeah, that's actually what I was

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<v Speaker 1>going to get you to do.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, let's do it.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's call like reception and yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>This is exactly what I was going to get you. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I want you to be an old man.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I want to be a woman.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't want to be a man.

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<v Speaker 2>Too close to.

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<v Speaker 1>Reality either works. Just be someone who would listen to

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<v Speaker 1>John Law's call two sm reception and be like, where

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<v Speaker 1>the fuck's the podcast? Yeah it's been months, I'm worried.

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<v Speaker 1>Is John's still on air?

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<v Speaker 5>Like?

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<v Speaker 1>Where? Easy?

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<v Speaker 2>I got the number? All right, I'm gonna call. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>gonna be Dot. Oh Wiggins, Okay, I've got the number.

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<v Speaker 2>Are we ready?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah? I've never seen you? So are you going to

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<v Speaker 1>do a prank call?

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<v Speaker 2>I thought my alter ego is a ninety seven year

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<v Speaker 2>old woman named Dot. All right, let's ring, okay? M

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<v Speaker 2>hmm yeah, m hmm. Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hi, Hello,

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<v Speaker 2>my name is Dot. Is this reception desk? Reception?

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<v Speaker 4>Hi? Yep?

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<v Speaker 1>Query?

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<v Speaker 2>Listen? What did you say?

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<v Speaker 4>Your name was Ben? Ben? From two of them?

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<v Speaker 2>Ben?

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<v Speaker 3>I my name is Dot.

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<v Speaker 2>How are you Ben?

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<v Speaker 4>I'm good things?

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<v Speaker 2>So are you been better? I've been better?

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<v Speaker 3>I have a query.

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<v Speaker 2>I listened to the John Laws Morning show program every day. Religious.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean I'm not a religious person, but I listen

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<v Speaker 2>every day, and for love of God, I can't listen anymore.

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<v Speaker 2>You've seen in the morning stud too. I have to

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<v Speaker 2>get my knee lanced. I've got passing my knee. It's

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<v Speaker 2>a whole thing. But I can't seem to listen live,

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<v Speaker 2>so I have to listen via podcasts. However, there hasn't

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<v Speaker 2>been a podcast updated then since March. Middle of March.

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<v Speaker 4>Middle of March.

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<v Speaker 2>Really the John Laws program, And gosh, I haven't heard

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<v Speaker 2>his voice in months.

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<v Speaker 4>Really okay?

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<v Speaker 2>And my God's son Bailey taught me how to podcasts

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<v Speaker 2>and I go on every morning without It takes me

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<v Speaker 2>twenty minutes to get on and I click it open.

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<v Speaker 2>At March sevente I've written it down in my like

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<v Speaker 2>bad March seventeen. Here's the last podcasts from John Laws.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, March right now, I'll check the website right now?

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<v Speaker 4>Is here?

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<v Speaker 2>Is everything okay with John?

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, everything's okay with John. He was sick today so

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<v Speaker 4>he didn't get on today. Oh no, let me check.

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<v Speaker 4>His last show was yesterday.

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<v Speaker 2>Tell him tell him dot from Wanga Barradine censor. He'll

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<v Speaker 2>know me. We had a briefly in vague night but

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<v Speaker 2>tell him, I said, I am my regards. So the

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<v Speaker 2>podcast just don't they don't get put on, they don't

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<v Speaker 2>get thumb drived in. They're not on anymore.

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<v Speaker 4>They are in. They're on the website.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh no, Apple, not the website Apple Ben Apple.

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<v Speaker 6>Okay, it's it is lavender in color and the applic

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<v Speaker 6>application has a little boy with two rings around their head.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay you might. Oh, I'm not sure if that's the

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<v Speaker 4>right one. You might have to download an app called

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<v Speaker 4>tune in, turn in t u n euni base.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm getting a pan hold.

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<v Speaker 4>On ben yep. So it should be on the app

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<v Speaker 4>store who it's called tune in, or if you're finding difficulties,

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<v Speaker 4>you can go on the website.

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<v Speaker 2>No, no, I don't want to go on the website.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm with do dough at My internet is dreadful. Then

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<v Speaker 2>I oh, okay, yes, the Apple podcast app you see

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<v Speaker 2>comes on my phone. It's already there.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, oh okay, it shouldn't be on our side. I

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<v Speaker 4>think Apple hasn't updated the thing. But I'll pass it

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<v Speaker 4>onto management to see if worse. They're on Apple. But

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<v Speaker 4>but it should be on an app called tune in

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<v Speaker 4>if you download that app so you can listen to

0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:50.440
<v Speaker 4>other radio stations as well. So that's b U n

0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:54.840
<v Speaker 4>E no no no tune in t U n E

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<v Speaker 4>tune So t w n e l n no no

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<v Speaker 4>tune t U n e.

0:13:06.400 --> 0:13:09.680
<v Speaker 2>I N like Looney tune. T O O N.

0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:14.720
<v Speaker 4>No no no t t U m e n E

0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:21.959
<v Speaker 4>no tune like tuning the radio tune in t U

0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:25.480
<v Speaker 4>n e E space n I M.

0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:30.120
<v Speaker 2>You should be under United Nations. For I am I Oh,

0:13:30.240 --> 0:13:30.800
<v Speaker 2>I am.

0:13:30.760 --> 0:13:35.160
<v Speaker 4>I am okay, I got to pick up all the indigo.

0:13:35.320 --> 0:13:38.839
<v Speaker 2>Hold on, wait Jamie, Jamie, I've indigo and then N

0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:43.640
<v Speaker 2>for Nelly. Yes, yeah, all right, so spell it with

0:13:43.679 --> 0:13:44.280
<v Speaker 2>me one more time.

0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:51.800
<v Speaker 4>Ready, t U n E O N I am no, I.

0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:55.040
<v Speaker 2>Am listen, I've got God, I'll get my grands don together.

0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:58.640
<v Speaker 2>You send Jonathan. Have I said this? We meet your

0:13:58.679 --> 0:14:00.720
<v Speaker 2>name had right way back when we both live in

0:14:00.720 --> 0:14:01.360
<v Speaker 2>more and Mardeen.

0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:04.200
<v Speaker 4>So can you repeat that again?

0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:06.080
<v Speaker 2>Well, we lived in one but aaradeine. We both had

0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:07.719
<v Speaker 2>a little I don't want to get too much and

0:14:07.760 --> 0:14:09.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to start blastic. This is why I need

0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:12.320
<v Speaker 2>to talk to him and listen to the podcasts I

0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:16.920
<v Speaker 2>will make it happen. It's okay, listen, thank you for everything.

0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:19.200
<v Speaker 2>You're a very young boy. Do you have a girlfriend, Ben?

0:14:20.880 --> 0:14:22.160
<v Speaker 4>So, my name is Ben.

0:14:22.320 --> 0:14:23.240
<v Speaker 2>Do you have a girlfriend.

0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:25.520
<v Speaker 4>I know, I don't know my.

0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:31.720
<v Speaker 2>Grandson. He's not straight, but I don't know what you are.

0:14:31.760 --> 0:14:33.480
<v Speaker 2>But I could maybe I could talk to him and

0:14:33.520 --> 0:14:35.680
<v Speaker 2>see if maybe you could just be friends. He loves

0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:38.400
<v Speaker 2>love to get into broadcasting. He's an artist, so he

0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:40.240
<v Speaker 2>doesn't make any money. But I could talk to him

0:14:40.240 --> 0:14:41.760
<v Speaker 2>and maybe get that to happen.

0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:44.240
<v Speaker 4>Are no, I'm good? Thank you all.

0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:45.760
<v Speaker 2>Right, Ben, thank you so much.

0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:49.000
<v Speaker 4>Have a nice day. Who bye, who bye?

0:14:49.480 --> 0:14:56.280
<v Speaker 1>Thank you? Oh my god, but Jesus like that all

0:14:56.360 --> 0:14:56.920
<v Speaker 1>day every day.

0:14:56.920 --> 0:15:00.520
<v Speaker 2>I so calm, cool and collected. Oh god, he did

0:15:00.520 --> 0:15:02.080
<v Speaker 2>that really well. So I went in and out of

0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:03.280
<v Speaker 2>a very deep British excent.

0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:06.920
<v Speaker 1>I didn't even yeah, I did. I notice the accent

0:15:07.000 --> 0:15:10.160
<v Speaker 1>was fluctuating. I never even considered this as an option. God,

0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:14.120
<v Speaker 1>I wish we didn't have fucking jobs during John Laws's show.

0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:15.760
<v Speaker 1>How good would it be if we could get through

0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:17.280
<v Speaker 1>and you relived.

0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:18.840
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, like you did.

0:15:18.960 --> 0:15:21.320
<v Speaker 1>Pike's Nursery two point zero, like you got him to

0:15:21.360 --> 0:15:24.000
<v Speaker 1>spell you something that's brilliant. You might not have as

0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:25.960
<v Speaker 1>much patience these I don't think he would.

0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:29.080
<v Speaker 2>He would that quick to realize that there's gold in

0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:33.840
<v Speaker 2>this material. He is such a beautiful boy. Jesus Christ. Wow,

0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:37.560
<v Speaker 2>I love that. I'm going to take Dot on a

0:15:37.600 --> 0:15:38.800
<v Speaker 2>tour around the country.

0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:42.760
<v Speaker 1>You should, Jesus, You're right, Alien. The old woman came

0:15:42.800 --> 0:15:45.720
<v Speaker 1>a lot more naturally to you than the old man character. Yeah,

0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:47.560
<v Speaker 1>the old man have sounded.

0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:54.000
<v Speaker 3>Like Hello, just crue it's always right British.

0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:55.400
<v Speaker 1>No, I preferred Dot.

0:15:56.520 --> 0:16:02.120
<v Speaker 2>It must be easier to do, guys. Wow, get tune

0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:03.360
<v Speaker 2>in to Mike.

0:16:04.560 --> 0:16:09.000
<v Speaker 1>That was Also they're really really dumb for not having

0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:12.560
<v Speaker 1>their podcast on Apple, and rather than saying, oh yeah,

0:16:12.600 --> 0:16:14.520
<v Speaker 1>we'll fix that, they go no, no, go to our

0:16:14.560 --> 0:16:18.200
<v Speaker 1>website or tune in instead, Like, there's no way that's

0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:20.480
<v Speaker 1>a good like if not that this would be high

0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:23.440
<v Speaker 1>on twosm's priority list, but that's a very bad podcast strategy.

0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:26.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, no, I don't think that's exactly top of the listener.

0:16:26.640 --> 0:16:29.160
<v Speaker 1>I think like eighty nine percent of our listeners are

0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:31.680
<v Speaker 1>on Apple, by the way. Really yeah, so like like

0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:35.120
<v Speaker 1>Apple is still the number one app that most people

0:16:35.200 --> 0:16:38.080
<v Speaker 1>use for podcasts and so the fact that they're not

0:16:38.080 --> 0:16:39.240
<v Speaker 1>on there is really fucking stuff.

0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:41.560
<v Speaker 2>So he didn't get an answer, like he didn't really

0:16:41.640 --> 0:16:42.560
<v Speaker 2>know what was happening.

0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:45.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I don't think he knew it. Get tune ink.

0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:48.960
<v Speaker 1>You can follow the show online.

0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:50.720
<v Speaker 3>Just search a couple of miches.

0:16:50.960 --> 0:16:52.680
<v Speaker 1>If you don't, you're a dickhead.