Speaker 1: Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Speaker 1: Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We
Speaker 1: pay our respect to their elders past and present and
Speaker 1: extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Island
Speaker 1: peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gaddigal Land of
Speaker 1: the Aurora Nation. Hi guys, and welcome back to another
Speaker 1: episode of Life on Cut.
Speaker 2: I'm Laura, my name is Maddie J.
Speaker 3: And this is our down and dirty I was just
Speaker 3: slipping into old at Life on Cut days. This is
Speaker 3: our Batch on Cut.
Speaker 2: This is final week. Why do you remember when we
Speaker 2: thought that there was simply no more episodes they could
Speaker 2: cram into one week than four, And here we are
Speaker 2: on the last week of the series and there's five episodes.
Speaker 3: Is there really five this week? Oh no, Actually, well
Speaker 3: I think that's four.
Speaker 2: Sunday is Sunday the start of the week. On Monday
Speaker 2: at the start.
Speaker 4: Of the week.
Speaker 3: I don't know for certain the right answer to that question.
Speaker 3: I would say that most people would say that the
Speaker 3: week runs from Monday to Sunday. But I know when
Speaker 3: I was a kid it came up as a real question.
Speaker 2: What lunatic was starting in on a Sunday? That was madness?
Speaker 3: Who spread that rumor that we all brought into Yeah?
Speaker 3: Someone I remember someone telling me that the week starts
Speaker 3: on a Sunday, and I've just never questioned it since.
Speaker 2: What do you mean? There's five four five.
Speaker 3: But this this episode will be two though we are
Speaker 3: unpacking episode eight and nine. But before we get into unpacking,
Speaker 3: all the things are the Bachelor?
Speaker 2: Okay? No, I want to ask you something, okay, because
Speaker 2: I want to talk about something that you did, but
Speaker 2: you go first ask away?
Speaker 3: Do I look glowy, ah juey and iridescent? Do I
Speaker 3: look like I have been sitting under a beautiful red
Speaker 3: I think it's called an led light lead light?
Speaker 2: You're quite greasy? Am I?
Speaker 3: Slimmy?
Speaker 2: Very shiny?
Speaker 3: A little bit oily?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Really oily?
Speaker 3: Is that that's probably not the desired effect? I don't
Speaker 3: have anything on my face, so am I really that shiny?
Speaker 2: It's pretty shiny? But you look great. I just I
Speaker 2: can barely recognize who this young woman is sitting across
Speaker 2: from me at the table. Laura.
Speaker 3: Is that you No? No, she's dead on the inside.
Speaker 2: I can't believe. I cannot believe you got fucking sucked
Speaker 2: into these stupid products.
Speaker 3: I didn't get your sister. Your sister on Christmas Day
Speaker 3: was like, oh, it's wonderful. Buy the lead light mask
Speaker 3: gets rid of my Roseasha. And I was like, I
Speaker 3: don't even have Roseasha, but I'll buy it.
Speaker 2: My family gets sucked into these TV commercial things.
Speaker 3: My mom, it's an omnilux mask and this is not sponsored.
Speaker 3: It costs a way too.
Speaker 2: Much, too much money.
Speaker 3: It costs. You're like, my mom, I was a bit
Speaker 3: drunk when I purchased it on Christmas night.
Speaker 2: You were like, my mom. I remember as a kid,
Speaker 2: we would get these random packages delivered to our house
Speaker 2: and it would be like the ab trying to two
Speaker 2: thousand and I was like, what the hell is this?
Speaker 2: And Mum was like, don't touch my package.
Speaker 3: She honestly with a freeset of steak knives.
Speaker 2: Literally, we actually bought steak knives off Dana's direct that
Speaker 2: were so shit they didn't work. The AB swing. We
Speaker 2: had the AB swing.
Speaker 3: Do you know what's weird? The thing that's weirder about
Speaker 3: all the shit your mum bought on infomercials is how
Speaker 3: many times you tell me that I remind you of
Speaker 3: your mother.
Speaker 2: And now I come home and you're like, where's my package?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, Mum, is that you? And then you
Speaker 2: come out with this big LED mask and that costs
Speaker 2: like five thousand dollars.
Speaker 3: It didn't cost five thousand dollars.
Speaker 2: It was fine. I'm like, that's like college tuition for
Speaker 2: our children that you're just wasting on this LED light.
Speaker 3: Okay, our children can pay their own hextebt. They need
Speaker 3: to know some resilience. And I will buy the LED
Speaker 3: light because I need to try and look young.
Speaker 2: Okay, question because it's quite like it's a very strong light.
Speaker 2: You're wearing it in the living room and for anyone
Speaker 2: going down our street, they'll be like, oh, there's Brothels
Speaker 2: opened up down there. That's weird. This red glow was
Speaker 2: coming out from our living room.
Speaker 3: That although we just left the Christmas decoration.
Speaker 2: How often do you have to wear it?
Speaker 3: I have to wear it every night for ten minutes
Speaker 3: for four weeks minimum, No, maybe four, four to five
Speaker 3: times a week every night weeks, every night only for
Speaker 3: like ten minutes or fifteen minutes or something.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, do you get a.
Speaker 3: Rat like when I wear that, Are you then like,
Speaker 3: m I know what comes after this?
Speaker 2: It's no, it's like you turned into this robo wife
Speaker 2: and you're like, I will have sex with girl.
Speaker 3: I will not have sex with you.
Speaker 2: Need to reach ouge.
Speaker 3: The one thing that I think was a bit about
Speaker 3: like I feel like I've been led down the garden path.
Speaker 2: Oh what was it, Laura? Which part? Well, it's was
Speaker 2: it the five thousand dollars?
Speaker 3: It says that you can read. It's like Lincoln. Oh,
Speaker 3: it's portable. You can put it on, you can wear
Speaker 3: it around the house. I can't fucking see. The light's
Speaker 3: so strong. I'm going blind.
Speaker 2: I'm in the living room. All I can hear the bangs,
Speaker 2: and you're there walking into walls. Someone messaged me and said,
Speaker 2: make sure Laura keeps her eyes closed.
Speaker 3: I think you have cataracts. Laura.
Speaker 2: I'm over here here stirring up to the fiddle. Figure,
Speaker 2: are you okay? Our children are gonna have freaking Nightmas
Speaker 2: and they see you wearing that thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's horrific. I'm gonna wear it for the next record.
Speaker 3: Maybe I'll put it on and do my second session
Speaker 3: when we unpack the second episode of this episode of
Speaker 3: past podcast. I don't even know.
Speaker 2: Has anyone asked about the mask on Instagram?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Do you know what's surprising? How many women have
Speaker 3: told me that they also own it?
Speaker 2: Okay, I will say this, A number of people have
Speaker 2: messaged me and said it's really good. I'm gonna as
Speaker 2: much as I'm shitting on you, people have said that
Speaker 2: it does work.
Speaker 3: I'm going to place a bet here. I bet then
Speaker 3: in three weeks time, when you see the results, I'm
Speaker 3: going to come home and you're gonna be there on
Speaker 3: the AM swing doing it yourself. Let's get into unpacking
Speaker 3: the two episodes, because, like you know, we do this
Speaker 3: to ourselves every week. It's already ten ocal night. We
Speaker 3: need to get this finished. Within the hour. We are
Speaker 3: unpacking episode eight, and it kicks off in the same
Speaker 3: way that episode seven finished. Tash is back.
Speaker 2: Ah, she's back.
Speaker 3: And she should just go again.
Speaker 2: I was thinking to myself, Oh my god, is she
Speaker 2: going to come back into the mansion with the rest
Speaker 2: of the women.
Speaker 3: I don't think you were alone with that thought, Matthew.
Speaker 3: I think other people thought the same thing.
Speaker 2: Well, there you go. It's good to know that we're
Speaker 2: all thinking the same thing people. But I was thinking, Jed,
Speaker 2: if he'd let her back in, if she'd walked back
Speaker 2: into the mansion with the rest of the women, could
Speaker 2: you imagine how much that would have kicked off.
Speaker 3: Well, they've all just been living like peaceful kumbaya in
Speaker 3: their Like what is it called when you live in
Speaker 3: a community? Yeah, like a clan of women at commune?
Speaker 3: Is that what it is?
Speaker 2: A canudist colony?
Speaker 3: I think they've all been wearing clothes, but a commune,
Speaker 3: you know, they're all in this like polyamory commune and
Speaker 3: they're all living harmoniously. And Tash would have just truly
Speaker 3: fucked that up. The really nice part about this, which
Speaker 3: I think I'm really proud of little Jeded when he.
Speaker 2: Went to ask the producer what to do that part.
Speaker 3: He had to take a few moments to really think
Speaker 3: about it.
Speaker 2: He really had to have a lot of help. Thomas
Speaker 2: and Felix were like, don't fucking do it. The producer
Speaker 2: was like, don't fucking do it, and he's like, I
Speaker 2: just don't know what to do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, But like this is so reminiscent of when you
Speaker 3: have like a really strong attraction to someone you're really
Speaker 3: sexually attracted to them. You know that they're bad for you,
Speaker 3: but you just hope that maybe it can be different.
Speaker 3: But in this instance, Jed did us all proud and
Speaker 3: he sent Tash packet thank you.
Speaker 5: It took a lot, and now it was the right decision,
Speaker 5: but god.
Speaker 2: It took a lot.
Speaker 5: My whole life, I've just accepted people who have left
Speaker 5: me and come back and been like it's okay, because
Speaker 5: I've always felt bad for them, and that just shot
Speaker 5: me back into past relationships. I need to have some
Speaker 5: more respect for myself because I've let people walk over me.
Speaker 2: Jed, my boy, very good from you. That's my that's
Speaker 2: my fatherly voice. That's how improving is that?
Speaker 3: How you speak to the children when they do things
Speaker 3: that you think.
Speaker 2: When Marley was potty training, I was like, Marlou bet
Speaker 2: a good pool from you. Come out now, come out
Speaker 2: of the bathroom. It's off the bat now for your mom. Meanwhile,
Speaker 2: you're walking around with the fucking red ledy mascot and
Speaker 2: our kids are like, what is wrong with our family?
Speaker 3: It's character building. But you know what, I'm so proud
Speaker 3: of Jed for doing this because there was even a
Speaker 3: moment there where I was like, oh, you know, maybe
Speaker 3: maybe Tash really is genuinely into him.
Speaker 2: And no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 2: The case that she put forward I thought was so weak.
Speaker 2: She was like, come on, come on, honey, you can't
Speaker 2: pick me like that was literally that was that was
Speaker 2: all she said. She had an opportunity to let it
Speaker 2: all out in the line, be honest about her feelings,
Speaker 2: and she was like, please, honey, just let me back in.
Speaker 3: It was what she said to be fair. Now that
Speaker 3: you've said that, I do agree with you. I think
Speaker 3: I was persuaded by the music.
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, the emote of music really gets you,
Speaker 2: like gets you going.
Speaker 3: It does, it does. But you know what, so he
Speaker 3: kicks Tash out and then Tash shows her true colors.
Speaker 3: I mean, he probably thinks I did it for him.
Speaker 3: I did it for myselfs So, now that Tash has
Speaker 3: gone after briefly coming back for what was an unnecessarily
Speaker 3: short amount of time, I feel like I have emotional
Speaker 3: whiplash from that moment.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you really got into that.
Speaker 3: I was just like, it was just unnecessary. It was
Speaker 3: like she's here, then she's gone, and then she's back,
Speaker 3: and then she's gone again.
Speaker 2: You'd be pissed off if you were her, right, because
Speaker 2: I'm sure producers would have coaxed her back into like
Speaker 2: packing a bag and then coming back in the mansion,
Speaker 2: and she would have been there for what a couple
Speaker 2: of hours before it kicked out.
Speaker 3: And it also would have been like such a great
Speaker 3: storyline to kind of squeeze out of them. But do
Speaker 3: you think they told Jed to send her home? Because
Speaker 3: do you think that the producers were like, dude, you
Speaker 3: got to send her home because it'll make you look
Speaker 3: like the stronger person. Or do you think they would
Speaker 3: have totally left it up for him.
Speaker 2: Look, I don't want to take away from Jed and
Speaker 2: the growth that he's had over the last few weeks.
Speaker 2: I think I do think he is mature enough to
Speaker 2: make that decision on his own. I'm sure that he
Speaker 2: kind of, you know, asked for some advice when the
Speaker 2: rest of the guys then produced her there as well.
Speaker 2: But I do think credit to Jed, he's done this
Speaker 2: on his own.
Speaker 3: The producers there in the background with the gun to
Speaker 3: his head, leg fucking.
Speaker 2: Send it home or very morbid from you. I think
Speaker 2: it's time to talk about this single date.
Speaker 3: Here, all right, So Felix and Abigail, crazy cat lady.
Speaker 2: For anyone who doesn't know who she is, which I'm
Speaker 2: sure maybe a few of.
Speaker 3: You, carrots. Was she a carrot girl as well?
Speaker 2: She the carrot girl? Can't remember three carrots? Well. I
Speaker 2: did feel sorry for their date, though, because it was
Speaker 2: meant to be a really beautiful high tea. It was
Speaker 2: outside and it was freaking cyclonic. There was yeah a
Speaker 2: gale an Abigail.
Speaker 3: It was really dumb. It was so dumb it was great. Okay,
Speaker 3: So they sit down and they're on the little high
Speaker 3: tea like on the little tears are some sausage rolls. Now,
Speaker 3: Abigail has a weird phobia, a very unusual phobia, and
Speaker 3: that is something that I don't think anyone would guess.
Speaker 6: Is that ketchup on the sausage rolls. So because it
Speaker 6: is okay, that's my actual phobia.
Speaker 3: I have a massive phobia of ketchup. It's horrible.
Speaker 6: It's if you put that about anywhere near me, I
Speaker 6: will literally I.
Speaker 3: Will probably chump in the waters to clean. I just
Speaker 3: hate it. I hate it so much. Even the smell.
Speaker 3: I can smell it before I see it. I literally
Speaker 3: had locked jawn. That's for me. I've been to therapists
Speaker 3: about it. It's weird. Okay, I have a question here.
Speaker 3: Why the fuck is there ketchup on the sausage rolls?
Speaker 3: Like who puts sauce onto like as a sausage roll
Speaker 3: there you put the sauce in a bowl like they
Speaker 3: knew she was afraid of sauce and they put it
Speaker 3: on the sausage roll.
Speaker 2: In high teas in the UK, it's always always have
Speaker 2: sauce on the sausage roll.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's presauced.
Speaker 2: It's pre sauce roll. Always always had a high tea
Speaker 2: pre sauce.
Speaker 3: Also, why have you got sausage rolls on a high test?
Speaker 3: Not fancy. It was a little bit like an Aussie
Speaker 3: high tea. It's a mini from me pie?
Speaker 2: Is this a high tea? It's just it's literally like
Speaker 2: a code for cyclone right now with sausage rolls. That's
Speaker 2: not a high tea.
Speaker 3: This is the party.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So I know we've spoken about Felix getting
Speaker 2: a redemption edit. You know, people didn't like.
Speaker 3: Feel like he was on the down and now he's
Speaker 3: on the way up. We were starting to were starting
Speaker 3: to warm to him again.
Speaker 2: This is the Felix rollercoaster, and we're now it's the
Speaker 2: Felix Rising, like the Phelix Us. Oh my god, we
Speaker 2: are so lame. I did like that though, but this
Speaker 2: is the beginning of Felix Rising. I'm trying to I'm
Speaker 2: trying to get on board with your saying. You can't.
Speaker 2: You can't look at me like I'm an idiot. When
Speaker 2: I try and use your saying, it's your saying.
Speaker 3: It was bad the first time. It's only getting work.
Speaker 2: You can't, you can't suggest it, And then when I
Speaker 2: use it, go, what the fuck are you doing?
Speaker 3: It was bad when I said it, and I liked it,
Speaker 3: really bad Felix.
Speaker 2: He's trying to understand who the crazy cat lady is.
Speaker 2: He's trying to get on a deep level with her,
Speaker 2: and it's beautiful.
Speaker 3: Well, okay, he's normally one who goes for the physical,
Speaker 3: but with Abigail, he seems to see something in her
Speaker 3: that's different to the other girls.
Speaker 4: You know, you'd make a great mother, and that like
Speaker 4: nurturing that I've never, to my own detriment, haven't gravitated
Speaker 4: to in the past, because I've sort of never thought
Speaker 4: that I knew I needed it. It's just by being you,
Speaker 4: you're bringing that out.
Speaker 2: He's getting it.
Speaker 3: Felix just wants a mother. He no longer wants a
Speaker 3: sexual partner. He wants someone to mother him. And that
Speaker 3: is another fucking red flag.
Speaker 2: He gets it, Laura, Ah.
Speaker 3: He wants to marry his mother, just like you. Okay,
Speaker 3: this date seems to go pretty nicely. He then takes
Speaker 3: Abigail back to the Batch mansion because he has a
Speaker 3: special surprise for her. He has a present for her.
Speaker 3: And what does he buy the crazy cat lady? He
Speaker 3: buys her a onesie for her cat.
Speaker 2: That was weird, didn't you think? Yeah?
Speaker 3: It was really weird.
Speaker 2: What's even weirder is when he pulled out this massive
Speaker 2: tray of kitty letter and asked her to go to
Speaker 2: the bathroom in front of him. Did not expect that.
Speaker 3: He was like, we're both getting a present tonight. Okay.
Speaker 3: But after they have this exchange of a cat.
Speaker 2: Jumper, there was no not like she.
Speaker 3: Has a hairless cat, Like, why the fuck does her
Speaker 3: cat need a jumper? Cats are usually have enough for
Speaker 3: to keep themselves warm.
Speaker 2: I agree, I agree? Okay, very nice gesture from Felix.
Speaker 2: Though he's growing, he's being nice and considerate.
Speaker 3: It really is the thought that counts. But they then
Speaker 3: decide to FaceTime Abigail's cat, and we're all sitting on
Speaker 3: our couches watching.
Speaker 2: It's Great TV.
Speaker 3: The two of them talk to a cat on.
Speaker 2: An I phone. Cat doesn't say much, does he.
Speaker 3: The thing that I am a bit confused about, and
Speaker 3: what sort of sprung to mind as I was watching
Speaker 3: Abigail cry about the fact that she was talking to
Speaker 3: her cats, is how do you think Kiki would feel
Speaker 3: when she went home and she was like, I got
Speaker 3: to FaceTime my cat, and Kicking's like, I've got two
Speaker 3: fucking kids.
Speaker 2: I haven't spoken to them in months.
Speaker 3: I have two children and no one's letting me face this, Like,
Speaker 3: how is this fair?
Speaker 2: It's not fair.
Speaker 3: It's not fair. But I do think Abigail is a
Speaker 3: bit of a dark horse.
Speaker 2: I think you're feeling it. I'm not feeling it, not
Speaker 2: feeling it, not feeling it.
Speaker 3: Not feeling isn't it? Oh well stop now, okay, moving
Speaker 3: right along, Let's talk about Jed and Courtney for their
Speaker 3: single date for the record, Not speaking of not feeling it.
Speaker 2: Courtney seems lovely, but I've not seen her at all
Speaker 2: this entire series. Don't know at all.
Speaker 3: I think Courtney on paper and like seeing them in
Speaker 3: their date and stuff. Actually think that they're so well
Speaker 3: suited together, like they actually look in terms of like
Speaker 3: how they interact. I think they seem perfect for each other.
Speaker 3: I just think that Jed is already too into some
Speaker 3: of the other girls.
Speaker 2: Oh it's Alicia.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so obvious. If it's not Alicia, you can
Speaker 3: eat your own shit.
Speaker 2: Which I'm looking forward to doing.
Speaker 3: You won't have to do it because we all know
Speaker 3: it's a list.
Speaker 2: I think heavens Ah delicious, but it's an awkward I
Speaker 2: do like Jed for the record, big fan of Jed.
Speaker 2: But they wrote a song. She had a bit of
Speaker 2: music talent. I think like her dad played the bass
Speaker 2: and they're trying to write this song and he's just
Speaker 2: They're like, oh what what am I looking for? Deep ocean? Yeah?
Speaker 2: And then this next line. I'm just not sure he
Speaker 2: could have been in there by himself in this recording studio.
Speaker 2: He didn't need her. It was she'd suggest something. He'd
Speaker 2: be like, shut up, I'm writing a song. Courtney fuck,
Speaker 2: and then they just started hooking up, and then he
Speaker 2: started playing piano whilst they were hooking up. He was like,
Speaker 2: on G Cordy, it was such a weird day, love jed.
Speaker 3: There's only a few people left, Like we're at though?
Speaker 3: Is there four people left to this stage? Four people,
Speaker 3: three people, four.
Speaker 2: People, five or five people?
Speaker 3: I can't count. There is not many people left. I
Speaker 3: still can't pick who most of them are going to choose,
Speaker 3: And like I.
Speaker 2: Don't know half of the girls.
Speaker 3: I don't know anything about them. Still, like, how are
Speaker 3: they supposed to propose in two weeks time when we
Speaker 3: know nothing about them?
Speaker 2: And the bachelors don't even know half the name.
Speaker 3: I didn't even know his name.
Speaker 2: He's like, Rachel, will you marry me? And she's like
Speaker 2: it's Catherine. He's like sure, whatever, close enough, put the
Speaker 2: ring on.
Speaker 3: So they I mean, they have a cute, litt kissy
Speaker 3: kiss here. And then we have Thomas's single date and
Speaker 3: he is on a single date with Leah and she
Speaker 3: is angelic and they are already disgustingly in love, even
Speaker 3: though I don't think that they've really exchanged many words together.
Speaker 2: He fell in love with her on this speed date
Speaker 2: when they very first met, because he was in tears afterwards,
Speaker 2: and I don't think from that moment he's really paid
Speaker 2: any attention to her at all, Like when he's with her,
Speaker 2: I don't think he's into it.
Speaker 3: No, of course he's into it.
Speaker 2: I just don't see it.
Speaker 3: I think it's just because it feels.
Speaker 2: She's too easy for him. He wants to chase someone.
Speaker 3: Yes, well, she's been like quintessential bachelor, like she said
Speaker 3: every single perfect bachelor line so fast.
Speaker 2: And why I'm skeptical is because she's been on the
Speaker 2: proposal the Channel seven show beforehand, so she gets how
Speaker 2: this machine works. I feel like she just gives it
Speaker 2: the cliche sayings no.
Speaker 3: But she did open up about her ex boyfriends. It
Speaker 3: was a really beautiful moment in there where she speaks
Speaker 3: about how her ex boyfriend cheated on her and how
Speaker 3: she's really got it. You're such a cold hearted beast
Speaker 3: of a man. She was really beautiful on this date.
Speaker 2: All I heard was beast of a man. That was
Speaker 2: a nice part, by.
Speaker 3: The way, it was a really nice part. But the
Speaker 3: reason why it's coming across a little bit contrived. And
Speaker 3: that's not to say that is it all, but it's
Speaker 3: because we haven't really seen them spend any quality time together.
Speaker 3: And I think it comes back to this whole thing
Speaker 3: where we don't know enough about the girls that any
Speaker 3: of the connections aren't feeling real. Because we're splitting our
Speaker 3: time watching three different bachelors, three different love stories. We
Speaker 3: don't know any one person well enough that No, it's
Speaker 3: how are we so close to the end we don't
Speaker 3: know who's gonna win?
Speaker 2: I guess that's a double edged sword of having three bachelors.
Speaker 2: Everyone's time is so wayfer thin on screen that we're
Speaker 2: left being like, I'm trying to be invested in all
Speaker 2: these characters, but there's just not enough time to know
Speaker 2: who all these people are.
Speaker 3: The big thing about this single day is that Thomas,
Speaker 3: he says to Leah, I'm falling for you. Is that
Speaker 3: breaking like a bachelor cardinal sin? Like? Are you told
Speaker 3: as the bachelor? Whatever you do, just they don't tell
Speaker 3: one of the girls that you're falling for them.
Speaker 2: Normally you try, and you put your foot on the
Speaker 2: brake a little bit, and you're.
Speaker 3: Just trying to string them along a bit more. Yeah,
Speaker 3: fuck with their emotions exactly, keep them more guessing you
Speaker 3: get it. Yeah, you know when they say they love
Speaker 3: you just sit there and steer at them blankly.
Speaker 2: But I wonder why. I wonder why he wasn't sitting back.
Speaker 2: Maybe she wasn't giving him much and there wasn't really
Speaker 2: much to talk about. I know, I've been very pessimistic
Speaker 2: about this episode and every date, I'm like, not feeling,
Speaker 2: not feeling it.
Speaker 3: You have not felt a single thing in this epid.
Speaker 2: I didn't feel any of the dates, and I don't
Speaker 2: feel it between Leah and Thomas. I'm being honest.
Speaker 3: They literally are sitting in a hot tub together telling
Speaker 3: each other that they're falling in love with each other,
Speaker 3: and you're like, well, I'm not feeling it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 3: It was very much. You're very cynical. I'm a cynical,
Speaker 3: cranky old man, he said.
Speaker 2: He said, I'm falling and please get me up.
Speaker 3: I really hurt my hip because he is our geriatric.
Speaker 3: So that date ends. They go on to a group
Speaker 3: date that is down at the beach. They have a
Speaker 3: weird beach date where they're all kind of frolicking in
Speaker 3: the water. It's lovely.
Speaker 2: Also, you know, we talked about Jed and the fact
Speaker 2: that he never puts shorts on.
Speaker 3: He did say he fucking hates the beach and hates Sando,
Speaker 3: so knows.
Speaker 2: I feel like he hates every single freaking date they
Speaker 2: put him on.
Speaker 3: Hate Jed, Can you just send us a photo of
Speaker 3: your legs to prove that you don't have an offensive tattoo? Yeah,
Speaker 3: because I did say on the last episode that we
Speaker 3: did like just slide in my dms if you know, Jen,
Speaker 3: I just want to know no one did.
Speaker 2: There was a part on the group Day where Bella
Speaker 2: Belle Belle, Yeah, I don't know Bella Belle girl woul tats.
Speaker 2: She's like, oh, show me your tats and he was like,
Speaker 2: oh no, I'll show you later, and he really freaked out.
Speaker 2: He panicked. Really Yeah, yeah, I didn't see that.
Speaker 3: I did see him freak out when she was like, hey,
Speaker 3: kiss me mate, he's giving me a machaon and he
Speaker 3: didn't want to.
Speaker 2: That was beautiful TV. I absolutely love that. But was
Speaker 2: weird that Alicia was like, you should just go and
Speaker 2: ask him for a kiss, honey, just go and do it.
Speaker 3: I'm you know, because she was like, he's never gonna
Speaker 3: She was like, he's not my man. Is not going
Speaker 3: to kiss you, so you don't need to worry about it.
Speaker 3: This is the incredible cinematic, dramatic. This is the moment
Speaker 3: of TV that so many people miss because very few
Speaker 3: people are watching The Bachelor. But everyone should have seen.
Speaker 3: I have to say because I'm psyched up, and I
Speaker 3: wanted to say before and then we got like kindly interrupted.
Speaker 3: I really want to pasta Alisia.
Speaker 6: I really want to kiss you.
Speaker 3: I'm just I know, I know, and that's fine.
Speaker 5: I'm I'm like, as I said, what it is, it's
Speaker 5: I'm just driving bananas.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. I love watching other people put themselves
Speaker 2: in really awkward situations.
Speaker 3: I just think Bill had been smacking the piss all day,
Speaker 3: like she was just a bit tipsy behind and she
Speaker 3: walked in there and she was like, oh, look, you
Speaker 3: know they said to lay me cards out on the table.
Speaker 3: My I just want to pass you out.
Speaker 2: It was the most unromantic asking of a kiss that
Speaker 2: you reckon. It was in front of everyone, and she's like,
Speaker 2: so what do you fucking reckon? Like should we or not?
Speaker 2: Like at least take him aside, get some somewhere private,
Speaker 2: like he's not going to pass you in front of everyone,
Speaker 2: because we all know what happened to felix me. Some
Speaker 2: people have said that, look, if the roles were reversed,
Speaker 2: would all be outraged. Do you think she was out
Speaker 2: of line by asking him?
Speaker 3: I don't think she was out of line by asking him.
Speaker 3: I think the thing is she is there at number four.
Speaker 3: There's only four girls left at this point in time.
Speaker 3: Normally on the Bachelor, if you're there at the like
Speaker 3: he's proposing in two weeks, like, I get why, she's like, hey,
Speaker 3: in her mind, she's like, if you kissing me is
Speaker 3: totally off the cards. Like, if you have no intention
Speaker 3: of kissing me because you're not there yet, then I'm
Speaker 3: not going to be at a point where I need
Speaker 3: to get married to you in like two weeks time.
Speaker 3: So maybe just get clear with how you feel about
Speaker 3: me and then we can fucking move on. I don't
Speaker 3: think she communicated it in the best way, but I do.
Speaker 2: I think they were had fourteen vodka cruzers and she
Speaker 2: had a dart in one hand. She's like, hey, what
Speaker 2: are your fucking rack hand? Come here, I love give
Speaker 2: us one, and Chad's like, look security pushing, like reaching
Speaker 2: for his pepper spray.
Speaker 3: Well, I think they tried to make it with the
Speaker 3: music and stuff. They trying to make it more like
Speaker 3: almost like more like she was forcing herself. She didn't
Speaker 3: do anything. She wasn't forcing herself on him, She wasn't
Speaker 3: like making him feel overly uncomfortable. She just explained what
Speaker 3: she wanted and he had the opportunity to say no,
Speaker 3: and he was like, no, I don't want it, and
Speaker 3: I'm not going to do something I don't feel comfortable with.
Speaker 3: And her response was, of course, oh my god. I
Speaker 3: never would want to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: So I think the little bits of outrage that I
Speaker 3: have heard or seen on social media kind of feels
Speaker 3: like a weird gotcha moment. It kind of feels that
Speaker 3: people being like, ah see, when women do it, they
Speaker 3: don't hold them to account, but men can't do that,
Speaker 3: and it's like, well, fuck, you didn't do anything wrong,
Speaker 3: Like that's as stupid.
Speaker 2: That's how I feel, well explained Laura. Can I let
Speaker 2: you on a little secret behind the scenes, the secret
Speaker 2: as I was once a bachelor many many years ago.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, a little bit of code here for you, Laura.
Speaker 2: If ever, let's say things go south between you and me,
Speaker 2: you get chosen as the bachelorette. Just hypothetical.
Speaker 3: I'm keeping the omnilux mask.
Speaker 2: If you're ever in an awkward situation, or you're about
Speaker 2: to enter into an awkward situation, you go, hang on
Speaker 2: one second, I'm just going to run to the toilet
Speaker 2: really quickly, because that's how Jed got out of it.
Speaker 2: He's like, I'm just going to run to the toilet.
Speaker 2: And another awkward conversation that was being had at the
Speaker 2: same group date was between Lou and Thomas.
Speaker 3: And he also run to the toilet beforehand. Yeah, anyway,
Speaker 3: I feel like we can wrap this because.
Speaker 2: I feel like you a I was dropping an absolute
Speaker 2: truth pomp and Laura's like, moving on, that's.
Speaker 3: You think that that's literally how people get through life. Sorry,
Speaker 3: I'm not enjoying this conversation. I've got going on to
Speaker 3: that for so long. That's not a bachelor's secret. That's
Speaker 3: how to get out of any awkward situation ever since.
Speaker 2: Correct, wait till Laura hears this.
Speaker 3: So Lou goes home because she gets friend zoned. And
Speaker 3: in honesty, I think this episode Matt. We've lost Matt,
Speaker 3: so I'll keep going. I think this episode was a
Speaker 3: slightly more boring one. Not a lot happened, harder to
Speaker 3: unpack because it just didn't have the splicest source of drama. Drama,
Speaker 3: drama for that episode Eight's coming and things really are
Speaker 3: get a bit fucking fiery.
Speaker 2: It's episode nine, for the record.
Speaker 3: Episode and things get a bit fucking fiery.
Speaker 2: Thank god, I'm here to keep this train on track.
Speaker 2: We forgot one thing for Lou went home? Who is Lou?
Speaker 2: Not quite sure?
Speaker 3: But it is episode nine, and holy dick, it gets good.
Speaker 3: It's a good one. Would you not agree?
Speaker 2: Holy I've in shock. I've never heard you say holy
Speaker 2: dick before.
Speaker 3: Well, I've never watched an episode like episode nine of
Speaker 3: twenty twenty three Bachelor. Can we just say there was
Speaker 3: some freaking spanners in this episode? A fan favorite went home.
Speaker 3: Felix's redemption art is in full swing. Okay, I said
Speaker 3: it on last week's episode. I'm going to say it again.
Speaker 3: I genuinely think Crystal wins.
Speaker 5: I can't.
Speaker 3: It's Crystal. Hang on, she is comin.
Speaker 2: We will get into it, but right.
Speaker 3: Who cares about the rest of the episode Because I
Speaker 3: think Crystal wins. I think Crystal wins. What's gonna happen
Speaker 3: when she wins?
Speaker 2: Right before they were deciding who goes home, you were like,
Speaker 2: oh shit, Crystal goes home.
Speaker 3: There she is, but she didn't, So I'm still okay, right,
Speaker 3: And now you're like, I knew it.
Speaker 2: I was always right all along, Crystal's.
Speaker 3: Gonna I think she's gonna win. You flip flop all
Speaker 3: the time, Nah, but no one who listens to this
Speaker 3: podcast knows that I just flip flop on the couch.
Speaker 2: And then on the podcast you're like, I always knew
Speaker 2: what was happening. I love when Asher comes in and
Speaker 2: he has like a bit of bro time with the
Speaker 2: Bachelor's like he's come up to Q one and he's like, oh,
Speaker 2: for God's sake, I got to speak to these motherfuckers
Speaker 2: and everyone on He goes, hey, hey, guys, how are
Speaker 2: things And as soon as they start talking, you can
Speaker 2: just tell OSHA's like, I just want to go home
Speaker 2: and see my wife and kid.
Speaker 3: All right. Well, Thomas has realized at this point in
Speaker 3: time that he's on the Bachelor and he's forming connections
Speaker 3: with multiple women, but it does seem like he's getting
Speaker 3: confused between his connections with his women, and Felix is polyamory.
Speaker 7: It's not easy, Like, I'm in love with multiple women,
Speaker 7: and every night I'm struggling to go to sleep, Like
Speaker 7: I keep thinking about all the things that I love
Speaker 7: about these women and who I see myself with, and
Speaker 7: the reality is that I see myself with multiple women.
Speaker 3: And then Matt, you come off the back of that
Speaker 3: and be like, turns out Thomas is into polyamory too.
Speaker 2: All right, good to know I've got room to move
Speaker 2: in this episode. Laura's like you will breathed twice, and
Speaker 2: you will laugh, and you will say these exact five words.
Speaker 3: Matt, Can you just do it?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: No, I do not want to. I'm not some fucking
Speaker 2: puppet that you can just make dance whenever you want.
Speaker 2: Can you just say?
Speaker 3: Seems like Thomas is into.
Speaker 2: Well, it seems like Thomas is into polyamory too. Hanging
Speaker 2: out with just too long? Fuck you.
Speaker 3: Good, Joe, Honey, that was great, Thanks, honey, you did
Speaker 3: a really good job.
Speaker 2: Okay, what's my next joke? And I love how after
Speaker 2: two and a half minutes is just like I cannot
Speaker 2: take another second of talking to these guys and getting
Speaker 2: the hell out of here.
Speaker 3: I feel like ash. He walks out of there. Every
Speaker 3: time he sits down with the boys, he's like, oh,
Speaker 3: you're all fucked. This is a lost cause.
Speaker 7: Oh.
Speaker 3: He even was like, I have a wife and a
Speaker 3: beautiful child that I wake up next to my beautiful
Speaker 3: wife every day. And you guys are cooked. And he
Speaker 3: leaves in their miserable crying.
Speaker 2: And they're like and he's like, shut up for.
Speaker 3: We're not friends. I'm unfollowing you on Instagram. Okay, So
Speaker 3: after the beautiful brodown between Usher and the three bachelors,
Speaker 3: the very first single day off the rank is Thomas
Speaker 3: and Lauren, you're gonna say they have no connection and
Speaker 3: no chemistry. I know where this is going.
Speaker 2: I know that I'm sounding like a broken record right now.
Speaker 2: I just there was nothing there. There was nothing there.
Speaker 2: I want to love Thomas. I do. He's gorgeous, he's
Speaker 2: got a great physique. He's Italian.
Speaker 3: Shellian.
Speaker 2: One might say, there's no substance to his dates. There's
Speaker 2: just nothing there. He's like, do you like drinks? And
Speaker 2: she's like kinda. It's like, well can I make you one?
Speaker 2: And she goes sure, that's it.
Speaker 3: I mean, he's hotening like spicy Margarita's. That's more than
Speaker 3: what most of the men I've dated in the past
Speaker 3: could bring to their relationship.
Speaker 2: Well, Lauren, I don't even think Lauren's into it.
Speaker 3: I disagree. I think that they're both very into each other.
Speaker 3: I do. I think that they are beautiful. Do they
Speaker 3: have great chemistry to watch on TV? No, it's a
Speaker 3: bit of a boring date. But I still think as
Speaker 3: people they're into each other. I just think to watch
Speaker 3: the date play out, they're about as interesting together as
Speaker 3: a ham sandwich. But that's also because I think they're
Speaker 3: hiding the connection. So when I say, well, when I
Speaker 3: say that I think that they're as boring as a
Speaker 3: ham sandwich, it's not because I think they are as people.
Speaker 3: I think they're great at people. I think that their
Speaker 3: producers are editing the date to seem boring so that
Speaker 3: we don't think it's her. I think she could be
Speaker 3: the end.
Speaker 2: No, but the show's about to end in like three episodes,
Speaker 2: like you got to give us something because there's no
Speaker 2: time left. It's about to end.
Speaker 3: It sounds so angry, see, like how are you gonna
Speaker 3: leave it for?
Speaker 2: It's like the final episode it and then she goes, Oh,
Speaker 2: by the way, I really love you, and that's what's going.
Speaker 3: To happen this season. That is literally what is happening.
Speaker 3: It's like nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, and all of
Speaker 3: a sudden, three of them are going to propose that's
Speaker 3: why everyone's so confused going to.
Speaker 2: I'm going to speak on behalf of our listeners and
Speaker 2: say that I feel collectively we all get each other.
Speaker 2: We're on the same page. Of the three bachelors, I'm
Speaker 2: least invested in Thomas's love story.
Speaker 3: That is not how I think the majority of ladies.
Speaker 2: Are you with me? Thank you very much.
Speaker 3: There you have it, Alah, I would like to do
Speaker 3: a poll. I would love to do a poll to
Speaker 3: find out whose love story everyone is most invested in.
Speaker 3: And I think now, Jeds, it's Jets, everyone's Mostlix, Felix, Felix,
Speaker 3: that's just Matt all alone on a hill with a
Speaker 3: flag Flix.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's working. I feel like people are
Speaker 2: warming to them. Let's talk about a single day because
Speaker 2: it takes Tilly and Oh, it's a big surprise because
Speaker 2: based on previous dates, based on any interaction, that they're
Speaker 2: just all over each other, and so you're getting ready.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: I was there.
Speaker 3: I was like, well, maybe you're ready and I was like,
Speaker 3: oh it still.
Speaker 2: Yeah. It was like cigarette in hand and I was like,
Speaker 2: that's better be good, give it to the kids.
Speaker 3: And then nothing, nothing. But I had a theory something
Speaker 3: has happened, something has gone down in the Tillian Felix Care.
Speaker 3: Why do you think that because on the very last
Speaker 3: episode they had their single day, they were all over
Speaker 3: well maybe it was the one foot whatever, it was
Speaker 3: a couple, it was recently they put the pool date.
Speaker 3: They had their pool date, they were hot and heavy
Speaker 3: and steamy. Then they had the group date where they
Speaker 3: sat down together and he was like, don't ever stop
Speaker 3: running towards me, don't ever stop being expressive towards me.
Speaker 3: And then on the very next date he's like, hey,
Speaker 3: you need to stop being expressive towards me, and you
Speaker 3: need to talk about your feelings. So I think there's
Speaker 3: been something that's happened that we just haven't seen. There's
Speaker 3: more to their story and we're not getting it.
Speaker 2: But then why would they not tell us?
Speaker 3: We need to know because I think that there's too much,
Speaker 3: like there's too many storyline is happening in one go.
Speaker 3: There's too much for them to fit into an episode,
Speaker 3: so big parts of people's storyline are getting missed and
Speaker 3: getting left out. But anyway, look, Felix has had a
Speaker 3: complete change of heart on Tilly. He knows that they
Speaker 3: have amazing sexual chemistry. We've all seen it, we all
Speaker 3: know it. But he thinks that they don't have anything deeper.
Speaker 2: They don't.
Speaker 3: They don't.
Speaker 2: They don't.
Speaker 3: They don't, they don't, they don't. What was it?
Speaker 2: What was the on the date when they went to
Speaker 2: the cabaret theater together? This is like three episodes ago,
Speaker 2: and they talked about going for dinners like dinner, like
Speaker 2: brunch or dinner, and that was that was as deep
Speaker 2: as they could get. Oh, I guess he has come
Speaker 2: off the back of the crazy Cat Lady revealing that
Speaker 2: she's scared of tomato saws and he's like, Tilly, what
Speaker 2: have you got? And she's like just kiss me.
Speaker 3: She's like He's like, what are your fears? What are
Speaker 3: your greatest fears? Because Abigail's afraid and fucking catch up.
Speaker 3: She's opened up to me and you're giving me nothing.
Speaker 3: For Tilly. The whole thing was very you doesn't.
Speaker 2: Even want to touch her at all.
Speaker 3: But now I think he's giving her mixed signals. I
Speaker 3: think it's unfair. I think it's unfair to go from
Speaker 3: being like this is how we.
Speaker 2: Expressed No, you're attacking Felix.
Speaker 3: It it's that he's gone so from like, yeah, we're
Speaker 3: so physical, touch and then turn around and be like,
Speaker 3: don't touch me, talk to me, have a connection with me.
Speaker 3: Just so much pressure. Just shut up and kiss me.
Speaker 3: All right, sorry, I'll continue.
Speaker 2: You need to lay off.
Speaker 3: I don't want to kiss Felix.
Speaker 2: One second you're like it's all editing, and next thing
Speaker 2: you're like, Felix, idiot, give us more information and tell
Speaker 2: us why.
Speaker 3: All right, okay, so Felix untilly. They are on a
Speaker 3: downward spiral. But we have Thomas and Thomas spirit is
Speaker 3: Jed who's the other one.
Speaker 2: Jed is the drummer, and this is I know. The
Speaker 2: last few dates I've said I'm not feeling it. I
Speaker 2: felt this one.
Speaker 3: Where did you feel it?
Speaker 2: I've felt the maloins.
Speaker 3: How did it make you feel?
Speaker 2: It was good? It was it was it was just
Speaker 2: a beautiful date, Alicia. I think that's how you say
Speaker 2: your name. Their connection, man, that's thick I can smell it.
Speaker 2: It's pungent. Oh there it is.
Speaker 3: Oh that's disgusting, you've got issues. It's nicer, right, it's delightful.
Speaker 3: They have to be the ones at the end, right,
Speaker 3: that's such an obvious like there's no one else.
Speaker 2: We talked about the cardinal rule of the bachelor not
Speaker 2: opening up to the women on the dates, and I
Speaker 2: think Jed is just totally crossed that line. He's like,
Speaker 2: I miss you so much, I'm falling in love with you.
Speaker 2: I just want to be with you.
Speaker 3: They've kind of given up on Jed on trying to
Speaker 3: hide it. They're like, oh, we'll just give them one
Speaker 3: storyline unlessa're so obvious here or here she is, right, that's.
Speaker 2: I mean, it can't be anybody else. And oh my god,
Speaker 2: oh my god, imagine if they fuck us with a finale,
Speaker 2: no imagine, no, oh my god.
Speaker 3: We will riot. We will riot for Alicia. One thing though,
Speaker 3: is that I think Jed gets a bit stitched up
Speaker 3: on these dates, so every single date, because like they
Speaker 3: like to tell you every year that the bachelor is
Speaker 3: the one who organizes the dates, right, it's the bachelor
Speaker 3: who's organized, Like production just pays for it, but the
Speaker 3: bachelor comes up. If the bachelor organizes the date, why
Speaker 3: has every single date that Jed's been on been something
Speaker 3: that he fucking hates. He's afraid of heights, He's afraid
Speaker 3: of roller coasters. He's literally afraid of everything.
Speaker 1: I'm scared of heid I'm not terrified at all. Jed
Speaker 1: is just afraid of heights, is afraid of roller coasters,
Speaker 1: it's afraid of the ice.
Speaker 3: I don't know, He's just afraid, do you know?
Speaker 2: I think when you hear us say that about Jed,
Speaker 2: that maybe he would be better soon with Abigail and
Speaker 2: they could be afraid of things together. Imagine that high
Speaker 2: tea on the rooftop of the q one. How freaked
Speaker 2: out would they be?
Speaker 3: They just spent the whole time screaming at each other.
Speaker 3: So after this single day there is possibly the most
Speaker 3: unnecessary situation.
Speaker 2: One of the weirdest parts of this episode was the
Speaker 2: group date where the guys were like, Hey, what do
Speaker 2: should we do it this afternoon? Right? Like a barbecue?
Speaker 2: What do you want to do? Maybe a dinner date?
Speaker 2: And then they're like, but how do we tell the girls?
Speaker 3: Why did they include that? For all of the like
Speaker 3: how we talked about earlier, how they've had to cut
Speaker 3: out storylines because there's just not enough time. This was
Speaker 3: the most unnecessary setup for a group date that there
Speaker 3: ever was.
Speaker 2: They even had. The idea was that the penthouse of
Speaker 2: Q one looks down to the mansion where the women
Speaker 2: are staying. So they were like, we can just we
Speaker 2: can write a message on cards, blade and windows, and
Speaker 2: the women will see it with the telescope.
Speaker 3: But it's almost like they've rented these two properties and
Speaker 3: that's a selling point that they had to get it across,
Speaker 3: and they're like, it's really close within viewing distance. Wh've
Speaker 3: gone back to that whole lux listenings thing. I'm so
Speaker 3: confused as to why they didn't just use those phones
Speaker 3: that they used in the group dates. Like a couple
Speaker 3: episodes ago, like four.
Speaker 2: Episodes ago, they would call them all they.
Speaker 3: Just rock up. Why didn't they just rock up? They've
Speaker 3: done that on other dates. They've just showed up at
Speaker 3: the house.
Speaker 2: Osha never ever tells the girls when he's rocking up.
Speaker 2: He's just like, hey, I'm here, and they're all like
Speaker 2: in the shower, Oh fuck off, what are you doing?
Speaker 2: And it's like it's bachelor, anything can happen.
Speaker 3: Okay, So basically what we're saying is they held up
Speaker 3: these sign that it's said dinners had to try and uncode,
Speaker 3: decode whatever it is.
Speaker 2: It showed Felix, Jed, and Thomas writing out every letter dinner, dinner,
Speaker 2: de I double a oh far out.
Speaker 3: Why we're doing this anyway? In what would come as
Speaker 3: absolutely non surprise to anyone, they all went and had
Speaker 3: dinner together at the girl's house, So at the bachelorette mansion.
Speaker 2: Imagine if the women were like, Nah, yeah, we're good. Actually,
Speaker 2: like weather's pretty decent, we're having a good time at
Speaker 2: the pool, go tonight. Nah.
Speaker 3: And also you know that it's going to end up
Speaker 3: being a rose ceremony. Why are they always so shocked
Speaker 3: a single time?
Speaker 2: Because there's a cycle, you can't you get it. Maybe
Speaker 2: maybe it was a surprise. They would have known sure
Speaker 2: that there was a rose ceremony looming any second.
Speaker 3: And also the fact that they're you know, so three
Speaker 3: people go home in this episode, and they're also shocked
Speaker 3: at three people, but actually it's just one person because
Speaker 3: it's one person from each person who's dating someone. So
Speaker 3: Jed loses a girl Felix is a girl.
Speaker 2: Tom.
Speaker 3: It's just it's just one person really in the grand
Speaker 3: scheme of things. Well, one thing they did do on
Speaker 3: this dinner day they played something which do you know what?
Speaker 3: I think it's something that a lot of people would
Speaker 3: do on like a Tinder date or something.
Speaker 2: No, I feel like a lot of people would do
Speaker 2: this when they're fourteen.
Speaker 3: They play a good game of Never have I ever.
Speaker 2: The grown adults looking for love? They're about to propose,
Speaker 2: and how do they decide who's got a better connection?
Speaker 3: Never have I ever had anal sex? Everyone? Okay, al right,
Speaker 3: I would have been into that.
Speaker 2: Now, what was the question?
Speaker 3: I've never never? Have I ever cheated, cheated, been cheated on?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know if I have been.
Speaker 2: I'm sure I have.
Speaker 3: Never have I ever pretended to be someone I'm not
Speaker 3: to impress a person.
Speaker 2: All the time?
Speaker 3: Who are you pretending to be?
Speaker 2: It all started. I must have been grabbed.
Speaker 3: Four and I wouldn't have time for this.
Speaker 2: Sorry. At the time, everybody loved Hansen.
Speaker 3: I fucking loved Hansen.
Speaker 2: Yes, who I had a big crush on was a
Speaker 2: huge Hanson fan, and I had to listen to them,
Speaker 2: and I thought Nan for me and I had to
Speaker 2: be like, oh I Lovembo. Yeah, that's the best song ever.
Speaker 2: Because Jess loved them so much. I hated them, but
Speaker 2: I pretended.
Speaker 3: Have you really hung on to that, haven't you? Oh?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I always think back to that Maddie Jay when I
Speaker 2: was I don't.
Speaker 3: Think any girl like girls loved Hanson because they loved
Speaker 3: the idea of being with Hanson as like a twelve
Speaker 3: year old. But nobody loved Hanson in the hope that
Speaker 3: their boyfriends like hands.
Speaker 2: No, it's the common ground, Laura. The common ground is
Speaker 2: what you're searching for, and if we have the same passion,
Speaker 2: you're in.
Speaker 3: Well, speaking of common ground, I once pretended that I
Speaker 3: was into meditation to Si.
Speaker 2: A guy with weird Thomas. You dated Thomas?
Speaker 3: I told you I've dated Harmers Thomas from Sitting. Oh,
Speaker 3: he's from Bonda. I probably did date him. I've just forgotten.
Speaker 3: I pretended that I was into meditation, that I journaled,
Speaker 3: and I have never journaled in my entire life. It
Speaker 3: was not an easy life to maintained.
Speaker 2: Did it get your sex? Ah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it was bad?
Speaker 2: Was he ever?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 2: Can I read your journal? Is that a thing to do?
Speaker 2: People share journals? Is that no?
Speaker 3: But I do remember him asking me, like, what sort
Speaker 3: of journaling I did? And I was like, I just
Speaker 3: ride about my day, Okay, look for the things we do.
Speaker 3: The things we do when we're searching for love with
Speaker 3: love makes you do crazy things.
Speaker 2: I couldn't agree more. In the pursuit, just when I
Speaker 2: thought I thought, the storyline one that we've heard far
Speaker 2: too often. It's getting a little bit exhausted, but it's
Speaker 2: reared its head again. The polyamory.
Speaker 3: Polyamory's back, Jess, she's and you know what, Kudos to
Speaker 3: Jess for laying it on the table and not sugarcoating
Speaker 3: what it is that she was. Okay, she's confused, she
Speaker 3: doesn't know what she wants. But even though she's confused,
Speaker 3: she still lays on the table. How confusing it is
Speaker 3: to everyone.
Speaker 2: I find it quite arrogant in a way, and people
Speaker 2: are like, good on you for just being honest. But
Speaker 2: I don't know this something about it that I'm like,
Speaker 2: that's just it is so honest, to the point where
Speaker 2: I think Crystal asked her like, if you end up,
Speaker 2: you know, winning this thing, and you know down the track,
Speaker 2: you get a bit bored and you want to meet someone,
Speaker 2: will you do that? And she's like, yeah, probably, I
Speaker 2: just asked my partner if I can go off and
Speaker 2: meet someone and have sex with him. I get that
Speaker 2: that's what a polyamorous relationship is, but she's just so
Speaker 2: like lase with it all.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think the thing that's like the real red
Speaker 3: flag here, and I do hope that Felix sees it.
Speaker 3: There's nothing wrong with wanting to be in an open relationship,
Speaker 3: but there is when the person that you're being in
Speaker 3: a relationship with does not want to be in an
Speaker 3: open relationship. And the big part of this that I
Speaker 3: was like, oh, that's never going to work out was
Speaker 3: when Jess said that she wants to come out of
Speaker 3: this experiment with Felix. She wants to be monogamous with him,
Speaker 3: but she doesn't know if she wants to be monogamous
Speaker 3: with him forever, So she wants the option to be
Speaker 3: able to be open in the future, and that's something
Speaker 3: that he's been really clear that he doesn't want, so
Speaker 3: to me, it almost feels a little bit like Jess
Speaker 3: will compromise on monogamy in the short term in order
Speaker 3: to win, but then doesn't want to compromise on like
Speaker 3: what actually makes them suitable as a long term couple.
Speaker 2: You're so smart.
Speaker 4: I love it.
Speaker 2: But at this point I will say you were wrong
Speaker 2: because at this point you thought there was a bit
Speaker 2: of tension between Crystal and Felix because a lot of
Speaker 2: the prodding was being done by Crystal, which which was funny, right.
Speaker 3: Because I think Crystal is just very direct, and I
Speaker 3: sometimes get a little bit of push and pull between
Speaker 3: Crystal and Felix, Like I feel like Crystal asked the
Speaker 3: hard questions and Felix answers them, sometimes in quite a
Speaker 3: direct way. And I was like, oh, here's the tension.
Speaker 3: It's obviously Crystal going home. However, I am going to
Speaker 3: say what I said on last week's episode. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: say it again. I think that they have hidden so
Speaker 3: much of Crystal's story. There is no way in hell
Speaker 3: that they only made out on that twenty minute body
Speaker 3: painting date and they've never made out since. Could you
Speaker 3: imagine if Crystal had gotten to this point in this
Speaker 3: experience and she had not kissed the guy, we would
Speaker 3: have heard of it. You would have said it in
Speaker 3: a box. You're in an interview, like how come we
Speaker 3: were so intimate in the beginning and now nothing's happened,
Speaker 3: Like we are missing so much of their story. And
Speaker 3: I want answers, I want accountability. I want to know
Speaker 3: what happened?
Speaker 2: Can we get Crystal one? I know we talked about.
Speaker 3: No, we're not doing any interviews.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, all right, I don't have it in me.
Speaker 2: I like that you thought about it long and hard
Speaker 2: before you gave me a direct answer.
Speaker 3: I did not have it in me for interviews this week.
Speaker 3: If you really want an interview, like you're gonna have
Speaker 3: to badge me, you know, like not just you, but
Speaker 3: like the people badger me about it, and then I'll
Speaker 3: think about it. But I just don't think I have
Speaker 3: it in me.
Speaker 2: You've almost went a little bit British there as well.
Speaker 2: Oh you've got a badge of me the people you've
Speaker 2: got to come for me?
Speaker 3: Mate, you do a very good English accent, Thank you
Speaker 3: very much.
Speaker 2: I'm sure I'm sure anyone who's English right now is like,
Speaker 2: what the hell was that? And you're like that was brilliant.
Speaker 3: Okay, So this date takes a bit of a turn.
Speaker 3: This this group is lovely question group date. Everyone's lovely
Speaker 3: getting along, drinking out for cocktaig.
Speaker 2: Glasses, great cocktail glasses.
Speaker 3: Would you like to know where they're from?
Speaker 2: Didn't you almost buy them? Very expensive?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: I didn't. We looked at them, probably from Amazon.
Speaker 2: I think. No, No, they're really expensive, are they? Yeah,
Speaker 2: like a hundred bucks of glass.
Speaker 3: That is a lot of money for a champagne glass.
Speaker 3: I mean a cocktaig glass.
Speaker 2: Rich coming from someone who spends five thousand dollars on
Speaker 2: led face mask.
Speaker 3: It wasn't five thousand dollars, Okay. So Osha walks in
Speaker 3: and he's like, dumb, dumb, dumb, you're three of you
Speaker 3: bitches are going home, And he did say that. They
Speaker 3: all like start screaming, and then someone.
Speaker 2: Sets the wall on fire and mashing glasses. Yeah, a
Speaker 2: chair ends up in the river in front of the
Speaker 2: Batch mansion.
Speaker 3: The police came, they all get arrested.
Speaker 2: It's just like far And then Thomas grabs his crystal
Speaker 2: and fights the police with a crystal, which is very
Speaker 2: unlike Thomas.
Speaker 3: No, no, but I mean it has healing properties. So
Speaker 3: the police officer recovers very quickly and it.
Speaker 2: Is all all forgiven.
Speaker 3: So three people go home. It's all very suspense filed.
Speaker 3: I was a little bit worried there for a minute.
Speaker 3: I thought Kristal was going home.
Speaker 2: But well, let's start with j. Let's that with. Ja
Speaker 2: sends home Bella, which was obviously going to happen the
Speaker 2: girl he didn't get the kiss on the group date.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he sends Bella home, and it was really sweet.
Speaker 3: I think that this was one of the most beautiful
Speaker 3: exits that I've seen in a bachelor.
Speaker 2: Never let anyone change who you are. Don't ever let
Speaker 2: anyone tell you that you should be silent, don't ever
Speaker 2: listen to them, be you.
Speaker 5: Please just ever change for anyone.
Speaker 3: I won't, and don't be sorry, because you know what, like,
Speaker 3: there's nothing that I would change through this entire experience
Speaker 3: that I can't make you love me. And it's fine,
Speaker 3: and I know, and I know in some capacity, I
Speaker 3: know you care.
Speaker 2: About me and I can about you. We're going to
Speaker 2: be friends and maybe we'll start a country western then
Speaker 2: please always.
Speaker 3: Thomas is up next, and he's also in emotional turmoil
Speaker 3: over who he should give a rose to, Kiki, who
Speaker 3: he seems to have a very deep connection with, or Jasmine,
Speaker 3: who he barely knows. It's very hard for me.
Speaker 2: You all know it's going to be Jasmine.
Speaker 3: Surprisingly, he gives the rose to Kiki or one surprise
Speaker 3: and the Akiki and then Jasmine goes. But Jasmine is
Speaker 3: she's actually really upset. I do feel for the girl.
Speaker 3: I think she I think she had much stronger feelings
Speaker 3: for him than what had ever developed for him.
Speaker 2: Why she started seeing him like three days ago? It
Speaker 2: doesn't make any sense. Love knows no bounce all right,
Speaker 2: the Rubig cliffhanger.
Speaker 3: Laura Burn, what you've all been waiting for?
Speaker 2: What the hell is going to happen next? Nobody knows?
Speaker 2: Or do they? You don't? You didn't know?
Speaker 3: Okay, for a minute there I was a bit concern.
Speaker 3: The editing got me good.
Speaker 2: You were like you were like, I told you, Crystal's
Speaker 2: coming home. I knew it. No, I knew it. It
Speaker 2: was obvious.
Speaker 3: No, she's gonna win. She's going to be there right
Speaker 3: to the end. I did not see Tilly going home.
Speaker 2: Who did he pick first? Jess? Jess memory.
Speaker 3: She literally sat there and said we have nothing in
Speaker 3: common and what completely different things? And he was like, Jess,
Speaker 3: he'ld right, he can't.
Speaker 2: Even every time he's kissed Jess on camera, She's like,
Speaker 2: I don't know about this.
Speaker 3: Dama's gonna be angry at.
Speaker 2: Me, right, jess should have gone home?
Speaker 3: Yeah, she should have gone home.
Speaker 2: Felix, man, what are you doing?
Speaker 7: Well?
Speaker 4: You know what?
Speaker 3: I feel like, Abigail is the only person making sense
Speaker 3: in this whole thing.
Speaker 6: If Felix wants a monogamous relationship, then Jessica and Avin
Speaker 6: should go home.
Speaker 2: How is Abigail still there? How is the crazy cat
Speaker 2: lady who was petrified of tomato sauce still in the mix.
Speaker 2: It's an absolute mystery to.
Speaker 3: Everyone because I think she's fucking great. I'm here for Abigail.
Speaker 3: I'm here for crazy cat Lady. I am still so
Speaker 3: shocked that Tilly went home. I think the bait and
Speaker 3: switch are they god as good. If that had happened,
Speaker 3: say like four years ago on Bachelor Prime Time, people
Speaker 3: would be Punky would have been there with the recaps.
Speaker 3: It would have been a whole thing. But hardly anyone's
Speaker 3: seen it, so no one cares as much as we do.
Speaker 3: But I care in my soul.
Speaker 2: No, I feel like the listeners they care.
Speaker 3: Do we care?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: We all care. Tilly we're here and we care.
Speaker 2: Maybe we could get her on the podcast.
Speaker 3: No, we're not doing interviews, all right, I think that.
Speaker 2: I'd suggest it test the water, see how you're feeling.
Speaker 3: That's fine, and that is pretty much it. Did anything
Speaker 3: else happen?
Speaker 2: That is no, that is it. That is it. We
Speaker 2: now have three episodes remaining, so you know what we
Speaker 2: could do now, Laura, go to bed, have some you know,
Speaker 2: sleeper term, cuddling term, if you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: I have a shower and go to sleep.
Speaker 2: All let's talk of Tilly is making me a little
Speaker 2: bit horny?
Speaker 3: Really No, no, really, that was weird.
Speaker 2: Let's go to bed.
Speaker 3: That's going to be a dellly mail quote right there.
Speaker 3: Horny for Tilly. Well she's still single.
Speaker 2: Apparently we could rewatch episode six and then head to bed.
Speaker 3: I do not want to watch any more Bachelor tonight.
Speaker 2: Just think about it, a little bit of fun. You're
Speaker 2: me Tilly in the mix.
Speaker 3: And on that note, if you're still with us, thank
Speaker 3: you for listening to another episode of that Chung cut.
Speaker 3: We really need to go to bed now. This one
Speaker 3: has been a hard and long one. Not like anything
Speaker 3: that you contribute to the conversation.
Speaker 2: Anyway, do not get me started.
Speaker 3: All right, Well, if you have enjoyed the episodes you
Speaker 3: guys know the Drill, please go subscribe on Apple Podcasts
Speaker 3: wherever you listen to your podcast, leave a review, tell
Speaker 3: your friends, share the shit out of it. How's it go?
Speaker 2: You know the drill? You need to stop flirting with me, Laura.
Speaker 3: Tell your mom, tell your dad, tell your dog, and
Speaker 3: your friends, and your cousin and your uncle, and your
Speaker 3: sister and your brother. And it's gonna get angry at
Speaker 3: me for going rogue on this stuff.
Speaker 2: And share the.
Speaker 3: Love because.
Speaker 2: We love love. That was a nice time from you.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Thank you.
Speaker 2: Tavakaran A the babani a tavakara A by thea