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Speaker 1: I'd like to acknowledge the traditional owners on which this

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Speaker 1: episode is being recorded, the combo marry people. We pay

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Speaker 1: our respects to elders past, present and emerging and extend

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Speaker 1: that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples.

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Speaker 1: Today I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson, and this is the

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Speaker 1: Rise and Conquer Podcast. This is the podcast where which

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Speaker 1: have mindset, self development and becoming your higher self mix

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Speaker 1: soon with a lot of laughs, plus behind the scenes

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Speaker 1: of my life running two businesses and being among Think

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Speaker 1: of us as the perfect combo of brunch with your

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Speaker 1: besties mixed with self development. No matter where you are

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Speaker 1: in your journey, We're here to help you be curious,

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Speaker 1: pull yourself out, and embrace radical self awareness. If you're

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Speaker 1: ready to get into the driver's seat of your own

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Speaker 1: life and stop letting life past you by, then you're

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Speaker 1: in the right place. Hi everybody, and welcome back to

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Speaker 1: the Rites and Conquer Podcast. Happy Friday, Happy Friday to

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Speaker 1: Happy Friday. Today's episode is Oh, it's a goodie. We

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Speaker 1: have a hotline, but we have a very special guest

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Speaker 1: and we are joined by Tyr Angelus, author and founder

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Speaker 1: of the Smart women's society. We chat about all things,

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Speaker 1: how to create the perfect budget, how to avoid impulse persse.

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Speaker 1: I'm using that technique right now, are you. I'm holding

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Speaker 1: out from buying all of Sophia Richie's wedding maker. What

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Speaker 1: sort of stuff? Nude sticks? Oh yeah, Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I literally only just put that together. Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: It's like the beauty director of the brain. Can you

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Speaker 1: please buy it and then let me know what you think.

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Speaker 1: We also talk about what to do when you feel

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Speaker 1: stuck in your job, how to leave work at work.

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Speaker 1: That one was for me. Even touched on red and

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Speaker 1: green flags in friendships and relationships. Basically, we chant so

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Speaker 1: much in this episode, and this is because Tea has

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Speaker 1: authored the most beautiful book. It's so. The book is

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Speaker 1: called Smart Moves, and it's basically like a handbook for

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Speaker 1: you twenties. Hey, yeah, it's so good. Like I read

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Speaker 1: it and I loved it. But I know it's something

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Speaker 1: that I'm just going to constantly go back to whenever

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Speaker 1: I'm struggling with a specific thing because the advice is

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Speaker 1: just so clear. I remember when you gave me the

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Speaker 1: book and I started reading it and I turned around,

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Speaker 1: I said to you, this book literally has everything in it,

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Speaker 1: and you're like, I know, it's a handbook. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, obsessed. And then we got

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Speaker 1: tear in and she's amazing. She's so beautiful, she has

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Speaker 1: so much knowledge, she's so down to earth, And you

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Speaker 1: guys are gonna lie this episode because she really just

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Speaker 1: gets into everything and there's just so many points each

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Speaker 1: other before we get into it. Though, yes, you want

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Speaker 1: to give us a quick update on how your week's been,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. She's been a little bit overwhelmed

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Speaker 1: fair enough. So I'm going on holidays next week to

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Speaker 1: celebrate me and Tim's five year wedding anniversary. And you know,

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Speaker 1: anytime you're going on holidays, we've also got an exciting

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Speaker 1: launch happening on Monday. There's a bit of anticipation, there's

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Speaker 1: a bit, you know, having to dot your eyes and

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Speaker 1: cross your teas, and I have just felt a bit overwhelmed.

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Speaker 1: But this is kind of even feeding into a recommendation.

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Speaker 1: So I'm gonna quickly bring this in, even though it's

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Speaker 1: if we don't do this exactly, I do use my podcast.

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Speaker 1: I do what I want. So what I did last

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Speaker 1: night I was feeling very overwhelmed. And this is it's

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Speaker 1: funny because it is literally my human design chart of

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Speaker 1: I don't like getting support from others. I like doing

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Speaker 1: things myself. And so I was feeling overwhelmed last night

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Speaker 1: and I was like, well, I'll just jump on my computer,

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Speaker 1: I'll do the emails, I'll do the things that are overwhelming me.

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Speaker 1: I'll just get it done. And I had to stop

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Speaker 1: because it's like that then feeds into the reality of

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Speaker 1: I'm not supported. I have to do everything by myself.

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Speaker 1: Like if I want something you know that whole what's

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Speaker 1: that saying of, like if you want something done right,

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Speaker 1: do it your live? Yeah, Like that's feeding into that story.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, do I want that to might

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Speaker 1: be my reality? No, definitely not. So I was like, no, Georgia,

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Speaker 1: we're not doing that because that's something I've always done.

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Speaker 1: And we're not doing that habit because that's a habit.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what my reality is,

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Speaker 1: I'm supported by my team, we are a head, we're

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Speaker 1: on top of things, we feel really good and it's amazing.

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Speaker 1: And I so I thought, what would then be the

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Speaker 1: actions for that? And so I thought, well, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to text the people that I need support from, and

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Speaker 1: I'm going to be like, hey, just letting you know

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Speaker 1: i'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed. I destined that extra

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Speaker 1: bit of support in this department. This is what I

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Speaker 1: need from you. I'm going to communicate and I love that,

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Speaker 1: and I'm gonna lean And it's so funny because I

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Speaker 1: was like, because that's what i want my reality to be,

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Speaker 1: so of course I'm going to take that action. But

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Speaker 1: I could feel myself wanting to go back to the

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Speaker 1: previous action. Interesting, and I really had to stop myself

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Speaker 1: and be like, no, you're support it, and you're going

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Speaker 1: to act like that, so you're not going to go

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Speaker 1: in your computer, and of course tomorrow you're gonna get

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Speaker 1: into work and you're gonna get it done. But it's

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Speaker 1: going to be perfect, and you're gonna trust that it's

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Speaker 1: going to be perfect. So it's a whole new experience

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Speaker 1: and I'll update you next week how I feel. But look,

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Speaker 1: she's had one of those weeks. What about you. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I think I've just been having bad sleep this week,

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Speaker 1: a bit weird. So many other people have to Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I know Jamie has Yeah, Jamie has

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Speaker 1: I know Georgina's been struggling. I yeah, and then like,

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Speaker 1: all these public holidays in the middle of the week

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Speaker 1: throw me out.

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Speaker 2: I don't even know what date is it.

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Speaker 1: I kind of hate it these public holidays. It's fine,

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Speaker 1: they'll be over from next week. I just think it's

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Speaker 1: the stupidest thing to put them all in one month,

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Speaker 1: spread them out right. Yeah, it's so hard because in

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Speaker 1: April after Easter, I'm always like, oh, like, it's just

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Speaker 1: so important to have days off here and there, because

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Speaker 1: I feel like I don't really take random days. It's

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Speaker 1: just always like a big holiday or nothing. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: then by the end of April, I'm like, fuck, haven't

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Speaker 1: it's just too stressful, got too much to do well.

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Speaker 1: It really fucked your work week so much, and then

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Speaker 1: just constant short weeks and it ends up not being

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Speaker 1: good because then you feel stressed. Yeah, some issue. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: This is us just ranting, you know what. This is

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Speaker 1: how I feel about us talking about this. Oh, get

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Speaker 1: a better problem. It's like Tea and Georgia get a

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Speaker 1: better problem. That's actually a fair fort where bringing in

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Speaker 1: a big question. We popped it up on Instagram story.

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Speaker 1: So if you don't know how this works. Basically, we

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Speaker 1: put a pole on Instagram stories with like a bit

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Speaker 1: of a deep question, we get the community to weigh in.

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Speaker 1: I'll ask you and you can give your thoughts, and

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Speaker 1: we can give our thoughts on it, and then I

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Speaker 1: can tell you the exact poll results that our R

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Speaker 1: and C community voted for this big question amazing. So

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Speaker 1: our big question for today is if you were able

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Speaker 1: to live to the age of ninety and retain either

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Speaker 1: the mind or body of a thirty year old for

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Speaker 1: the last sixty years of your life, which would you want?

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Speaker 1: So the last sixty years, so basically, you hit thirty

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Speaker 1: and you either keep your mind as it is or

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Speaker 1: your body as it is. Which are you picking? See,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm going to pick the opposite to

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Speaker 1: everyone else, But I would keep the body interesting because

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Speaker 1: for example, I see it depends like am I going

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Speaker 1: to get to mentor like that's the theme? What's going

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Speaker 1: to happen? Well, you don't know, because like Tim's graandmar

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Speaker 1: ninety and she is like, fully there, yeah she mentally

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Speaker 1: she can remember things from when she was younger. She

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Speaker 1: can have an amazing chat with you. But like body wise,

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Speaker 1: you know, she's having health issues. So like in that moment,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, well, I would, you know, pick the body. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But then if I'm talking about my grandparents who have

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Speaker 1: both suffered from dementia, I would then be like I

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Speaker 1: would want the brain. Yeah. And that's exactly it, because

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Speaker 1: I think it just comes down to what you've been

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Speaker 1: exposed to in your life. Because off the cauff straight thing.

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Speaker 1: First thing I said was mind because my grandma had

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Speaker 1: Alzheimer's and I saw what that happens, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I don't care, like you can maintain your body. You

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Speaker 1: have no control over whether you get dementia or Alzheimer's

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Speaker 1: or stuff like that. And then Jamie told me about

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Speaker 1: her grandma who's ninety something, and she's like, she's just

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Speaker 1: the sharpest tool in the shed, so I'd want to

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Speaker 1: keep the body.

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Speaker 3: See.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my god, what did ronc fam So so interesting?

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Speaker 1: The whole percentage slit was fifty two percent to forty

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Speaker 1: eight percent, so almost even what one to mind interesting. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I think that just basically comes down to what

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Speaker 1: you've personally experienced in your life of whether maybe your

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Speaker 1: grandparents are struggling with physical health, or maybe they struggled

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Speaker 1: with mental health or just people around you. So that

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Speaker 1: was really interesting. You know what's interesting is I've really

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Speaker 1: been thinking about only since knowing I'm about to hit thirty,

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Speaker 1: of like maintaining health in such a holistic way where

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Speaker 1: it's like I'm thinking about the whole body, and you know, yeah,

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Speaker 1: And it's so interesting that you brought it up, because

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, it's been on my mind.

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Speaker 1: Are we insing? Amazing? Let's get into the interview, Tia.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Rise and Conquer Podcast.

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Speaker 2: Judio, thank you for having me. I'm so excited.

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Speaker 1: It's so cool to have you here in person, and

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Speaker 1: thank you so much for driving down.

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Speaker 2: Welcome.

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Speaker 1: We have just been chatting away off Mike, so we

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Speaker 1: thought it was time to start recording, and I feel

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Speaker 1: like we just couldn't get going.

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Speaker 2: There for a while.

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Speaker 1: So I'm so excited to have you on the podcast,

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Speaker 1: and of course to talk about your book. Guys, it's

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Speaker 1: so beautiful. It is called Simple Ways to Take Control

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Speaker 1: of Your Life Smart Moves, and again it's black, it's pink,

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Speaker 1: it's so aesthetic. We were just telling Tia before that

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Speaker 1: we used it in a photo shoot.

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Speaker 2: So I love that so much.

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Speaker 1: We love that. We appreciate that exactly. So do you

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Speaker 1: want to just tell us a little bit about who

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Speaker 1: you are, what you do, and why you decided to

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Speaker 1: write a book.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I'm the founder of Smart Women's Society. We're an

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Speaker 2: online education platform that helps women get smarter in all

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Speaker 2: different aspects of their life, so with their money, their career,

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Speaker 2: their wellbeing, and their love lives. And what says uts

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Speaker 2: Apart is that we simplify all the complex life topics

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Speaker 2: into really simple, actionable and visual tips and steps. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: I wrote the book, and I call the book a

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Speaker 2: life handbook. So it's a live handbook for women in

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Speaker 2: their twenties navigating all the different things that life throws

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Speaker 2: at you that you didn't really learn in school, but

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Speaker 2: it all kind of hits you all at once. So

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Speaker 2: it's that book that you'll keep coming back to again

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Speaker 2: and again and get the quick tips and the advice

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Speaker 2: that you need to navigate everything.

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Speaker 1: I literally said to a tea when I started reading

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Speaker 1: the book, there's literally everything in here, Like anything you

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Speaker 1: need to know about life is in this book. So

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Speaker 1: it's just incredible. How long did it take to write.

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Speaker 2: I actually had four weeks to write the whole thing. No,

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Speaker 2: it was very intense. I did not sleep, eat, or

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Speaker 2: do anything in those four weeks.

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Speaker 1: Are you kidding? Sadly not, I'm shocked. There is so

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Speaker 1: much good information in this and then, like even I

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Speaker 1: remember reading the contents page and being like, wow, she

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Speaker 1: really covered everything I need to know. And truly, this

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Speaker 1: is like a book that you will constantly pick up,

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Speaker 1: constantly reread, go to the specific section. So that's incredible,

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Speaker 1: Thank you God, congratulations it's done. Yeah, No, that's incredible.

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Speaker 1: And so I love how the book has four sections,

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Speaker 1: which is money, Korea, well being, and love. So I

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Speaker 1: thought this would be so perfect to do a Hotline

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Speaker 1: episode of We're just gonna smash you with the questions

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Speaker 1: and then you're just gonna hit us with all the advice.

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Speaker 1: Obviously we'll go through the money, career, love, and wellbeing.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, how does that sound.

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Speaker 2: I'm ready, let's do it.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well, let's get straight into it. We're going too

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Speaker 1: straight into money.

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Speaker 2: My favorite thing, everyone's favorite thing.

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Speaker 1: Just joking. No, okay, So, and I love I loved

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Speaker 1: your section because it was so tangible. I was like, yes,

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Speaker 1: tell me the actual.

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Speaker 3: Detail tips Like I can tell you say things, but

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Speaker 3: like I need ABC, I can tell you're a practical

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Speaker 3: goal and we love a practical goal. Okay, so straight

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Speaker 3: into it. What is the difference between having a budget

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Speaker 3: and being on a budget.

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Speaker 2: So this is such a big distinction that I always

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Speaker 2: talk about. So being on a budget it feels really restrictive.

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Speaker 2: It's always about finding the cheapest option, cutting things out,

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Speaker 2: spending the least amount of money possible. Whereas having a

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Speaker 2: budget is simply a plan for your money. It's something

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Speaker 2: that feels like a natural part of your life. It

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Speaker 2: means that you're working towards your goals, you're aligning, you're

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Speaker 2: spending with your values, So that money feels like it's

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Speaker 2: a tool to live your best life, not something that

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Speaker 2: holds you back.

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Speaker 1: I love that so much and I'm even just reflecting now.

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Speaker 1: And I don't think I've ever had a budget in

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Speaker 1: the way of like very specific this goes here, I

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Speaker 1: can only use seventy eight dollars blah blah blah. But

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Speaker 1: I'm very familiar with my money and very I know

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Speaker 1: where it is. I know how much is an accounts,

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Speaker 1: I know how much we have to pay blah blah blah,

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Speaker 1: and it's like I know my money, but also I

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Speaker 1: don't need to check it every day. I don't need

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Speaker 1: to be obsessive about it. I don't need to. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I guess feel restricted because it's like I am very

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Speaker 1: familiar with my money, but it's a different energy to

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Speaker 1: being obsessive.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, And I think that's the point that you want

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Speaker 2: to get to it. And I think it's amazing that

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Speaker 2: you've got there, that you know where things are going,

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Speaker 2: but you're not nitty gritty over everything and kind of

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Speaker 2: judging yourself for buying that coffee or buying something that

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Speaker 2: you saw at the shops. And I think for a

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Speaker 2: lot of people they do the opposite, where they don't

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Speaker 2: want to think about their money at all, and then

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Speaker 2: that'd rather just live in the dark. Whereas it's that

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Speaker 2: happy medium of like knowing where everything's going, but also

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Speaker 2: like knowing that you're spending in alignment with your goals

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Speaker 2: and your values is the most important thing.

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Speaker 1: I love that so much. Next question, what are the

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Speaker 1: top I recommendation when it comes to creating a budget?

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Speaker 2: So I think this flows nicely from the previous question,

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Speaker 2: but my biggest tip is always budget for fun. You'll

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Speaker 2: never You'll never have a budget that you're going to

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Speaker 2: consistently stick to where you cut out seeing your friends

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Speaker 2: on the weekend, spending on anything that you enjoy, buying

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Speaker 2: a coffee. I always say, if something, if you love something,

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Speaker 2: if that coffee makes your day so much happier, factor

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Speaker 2: it in, don't cut it out, because having that restrictive

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Speaker 2: approach to something, and it's the same as dieting, and

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Speaker 2: I think budgeting is very similar to dieting in that way.

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Speaker 2: You need to incorporate like a more holistic approach where

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Speaker 2: you can budget for fun and can budget for the

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Speaker 2: things that you enjoy, and it makes it a lifestyle

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Speaker 2: change and a lifestyle habit as opposed to kind of

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Speaker 2: this restrictive short term thing. So definitely budgeting for fun.

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Speaker 2: And then I would say in the early stage, if

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Speaker 2: you're just starting with your budget, start tracking your spending

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Speaker 2: and just start learning where your money is actually going.

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Speaker 2: Because you can have a budget, you can have a

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Speaker 2: plan for your money, but if what you're actually doing

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Speaker 2: doesn't match that, then it's pointless. So you need to

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Speaker 2: start learning where your money is going and how you're

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Speaker 2: actually spending it and then yeah, you can start seeing

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Speaker 2: changes and making tweaks to that.

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Speaker 1: I love that budget for fun my type of goal fun,

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Speaker 1: and I do I think like having a holistic approach

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Speaker 1: is so important because it's almost like if we're kind

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Speaker 1: of putting a manifesting lens on it. If you're focusing

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Speaker 1: on the lack, you're just going to attract lack. But

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Speaker 1: if you're focusing on, oh my god, look how much

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Speaker 1: I actually get to do because I am familiar with

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Speaker 1: my money and because I have budgeted for it, like

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Speaker 1: how epic.

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Speaker 2: And I think that's the same thing as what I

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Speaker 2: was saying before about having a budget as being on

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Speaker 2: a budget. Like when you start changing your relationship with

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Speaker 2: money around it being a tool to help you, it's

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Speaker 2: not like inhibiting you from achieving what you want. It's

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Speaker 2: actually helping you achieve your goals. It's helping you go travel,

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Speaker 2: it's helping you start that business. And you start having

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Speaker 2: that positive relationship with money, it changes everything.

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Speaker 1: I love that. And do you have any tips on

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Speaker 1: how we can shop? Wow? Do you have any tips

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Speaker 1: on how we can shop smarter and avoid impulse purchases?

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Speaker 2: I think this is one of the biggest questions I get,

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Speaker 2: and there's so many things that you can do. My

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Speaker 2: top tip is always wait twenty four or forty eight

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Speaker 2: hours before you buy something, because a lot of the

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Speaker 2: time you might be scrolling an online shop, you might

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Speaker 2: be in a shopping center and you've had a bad day,

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Speaker 2: or you're in a bad mood, or you're feeling lonely, bored, sad, hungry,

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Speaker 2: whatever it is, and you just want to go buy

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Speaker 2: something to get that dope meine hit from it. So

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Speaker 2: if you actually place that kind of time barrier between

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Speaker 2: what you want and waiting for it, you find that

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Speaker 2: most of the time you don't actually want it. It

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Speaker 2: was just kind of that impulsive reaction to want to

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Speaker 2: buy something to fill that kind of void. So definitely

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Speaker 2: placing that kind of time barrier is a huge thing.

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Speaker 2: And another thing that really helps me is calculating, like

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Speaker 2: how many hours it would take you to pay for something.

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Speaker 2: So let's say you make twenty fours Well, I guess

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Speaker 2: it's different when you're in a business, But let's say

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Speaker 2: you make twenty dollars an hour after tax, and you

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Speaker 2: want to buy a two hundred dollars handbag reframing that

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Speaker 2: in your head as do I want to work ten

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Speaker 2: hours to buy this bag? And if the answers yes,

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Speaker 2: then go for it. But if you kind of think

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Speaker 2: about it and you're like, nah, that's not worth a

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Speaker 2: day and a half of work, then it makes you

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Speaker 2: reframe like those kind of purchases into do I actually

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Speaker 2: want to work for that.

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Speaker 1: I actually used to do that when I was working

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Speaker 1: corporate and I had an hourly like rate. I remember

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Speaker 1: I used to do that and be like, hmm, is

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Speaker 1: this work?

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Speaker 2: Do I like my job? Ice?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? No, I don't. You know what I think with

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Speaker 1: that too, is I actually have this thing where, let

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Speaker 1: me see what it's called. I do all my like

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Speaker 1: notes in my email drafts instead of notes, but I

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Speaker 1: have this draft called I am a match list, and

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Speaker 1: I put anything that I want to impulsively buy on

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Speaker 1: there in a kind of a way of the next

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Speaker 1: time that I have, you know, spent money or an overflow,

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Speaker 1: and it's.

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Speaker 2: Like see how many we can tick off?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they're like, and then I want to. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: let's go and buy something. I go to this list

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Speaker 1: so I can see everything and be like, cool, what's

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Speaker 1: the thing I want most.

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Speaker 2: And I think it's also that delayed gratification. Yeah, like

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Speaker 2: being able to wait for something and then that satisfaction

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Speaker 2: from getting it is so much better than that just

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Speaker 2: quick kind of impulse hit.

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Speaker 1: I have an unpopular opinion, but I'm all about delayed gratification.

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Speaker 1: This is probably one of my strengths.

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Speaker 2: That's like chapter one of the book.

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Speaker 1: Tick that off. Oh my, I like delayed gratification. I

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Speaker 1: think is one of the best skills that you can

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Speaker 1: teach yourself, especially in this day and age with like

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Speaker 1: how instant we get things. I think is the most

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Speaker 1: incredible thing because the impulses of life really can fuck

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Speaker 1: you up.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely.

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Speaker 1: Like I think all the time of like how I

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Speaker 1: can teach Ivy delayed gratification when she's older, because my

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Speaker 1: parents very much like I remember exactly what you're saying now,

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Speaker 1: they were saying a lot of the same things. And

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Speaker 1: even I remember when my brother I have three adl brothers,

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Speaker 1: and they wanted to get you know, bigs like tattoo

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Speaker 1: sleeves and stuff. And I come from a religious background

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Speaker 1: and my mom was like, oh my god. So she

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Speaker 1: had a rule where she was like, you can get

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Speaker 1: the tattoos but wait six months to see if you

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Speaker 1: like really want to get the tattoos. They still went

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Speaker 1: and got the tattoos. But I loved they waited. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I loved that.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: We always had this thing growing up of like such

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Speaker 1: a huge life skill is if you can have delayed gratification,

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Speaker 1: because it's almost I see it as you having control

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Speaker 1: over yourself rather than life controlling.

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Speaker 2: Or your emotions or yah yah yeah, which is the

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Speaker 2: same thing as like the waiting twenty four forty eight hours.

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Speaker 2: Or another thing is like when you see a dress

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Speaker 2: that you really like on an online store and asking yourself,

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Speaker 2: is this money better spent on one of my bigger goals?

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Speaker 2: And if one of your goals is to go to

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Speaker 2: Europe brought to buy a house. And I always say

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Speaker 2: to people, if you have a goal, and I'm pretty

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Speaker 2: sure you've said this before, like set it as your wallpaper,

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Speaker 2: like you make a photo of positano the wallpaper off

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Speaker 2: your phone, and always like you pick up your phone

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Speaker 2: five hundred times a day. If you're constantly reminded of

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Speaker 2: your goal, it makes you step away from those impulse

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Speaker 2: purchases and make you really rethink, like, no, I actually

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Speaker 2: can put that money towards my flight, where I can

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Speaker 2: put that money towards the hotel, and it really reframes

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Speaker 2: like what's important to you?

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Speaker 1: I love that so much. And then I think I

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Speaker 1: want to ask this question because I remember navigating this

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Speaker 1: in my early twenties and I would love your opinion

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Speaker 1: because I feel like the RNC them, you know, maybe

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Speaker 1: navigating this and it's like, how do we navigate money

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Speaker 1: in our friendships more specifically of how can we communicate

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Speaker 1: with our friends when things are out of our budget

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Speaker 1: and also avoid you know, the comparison there trying to

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Speaker 1: keep up with our friends when it comes to money.

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Speaker 1: Are you able to you know, share your insight on this?

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Speaker 2: And I love this topic because I think it's so topical.

434
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,399
Speaker 2: And I think the strange thing about our twenties, and

435
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,879
Speaker 2: I think navigating our twenties is that when we're in primary,

436
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,920
Speaker 2: in high school, everyone was kind of even university, we're

437
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:57,440
Speaker 2: all kind of on that same path. You're all like

438
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 2: studying for the same exams. Whereas when you go into

439
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:02,400
Speaker 2: your twenties, everyone starts taking really different paths. They start

440
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:05,679
Speaker 2: making really different salaries, really different spending, and it can

441
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:09,160
Speaker 2: build up this weird like tension or this weird jealousy

442
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:12,200
Speaker 2: or competition with your friends, which is really the worst

443
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,920
Speaker 2: thing that can happen. And I think, firstly, like being

444
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,840
Speaker 2: really open with your friends about money. I know a

445
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:20,000
Speaker 2: lot of female friendship groups in particular, like money is

446
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,840
Speaker 2: a very taboo topic, and I know it can happen

447
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:24,119
Speaker 2: with my friends, and I try and like encourage open

448
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:27,080
Speaker 2: discussions about money, like talk about your financial goals, if

449
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 2: you're saving for a house, if you're saving to start

450
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:32,080
Speaker 2: a business, like let your friends know so they're like

451
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,199
Speaker 2: and be each other's accountability partners. So if you are

452
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 2: saving for something, you can be like, hey, I'm really

453
00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:40,440
Speaker 2: saving hard for this holiday, Like why don't we grab

454
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:43,919
Speaker 2: a coffee instead, like hang instead of going to Rickshaw's

455
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,560
Speaker 2: for lunch, how about we just go for a walk

456
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,399
Speaker 2: along the beach. And suggesting those like cheaper alternatives is

457
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:51,200
Speaker 2: a really great way to just casually say to your friends, like,

458
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 2: we can still hang out, And the whole point is

459
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:54,840
Speaker 2: to catch up and hang out, it's not to go

460
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 2: for this expensive dinner. So I think being really open

461
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,399
Speaker 2: about what's in and out of your budget is a

462
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:01,840
Speaker 2: really good thing. And remember these people are your friends like,

463
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,280
Speaker 2: they shouldn't be that awkwardness. There shouldn't be that competition.

464
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 2: A good friend should not be judging you for your

465
00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 2: salary or judging you for what you can and can't afford.

466
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:12,919
Speaker 2: If they are, then maybe you need to reevaluate if

467
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,200
Speaker 2: that's the energy that you want around you, because I

468
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,359
Speaker 2: think it is an important thing. And we all go

469
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 2: on different paths, and I think it's really important to

470
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:23,240
Speaker 2: remember that we have unique pathways, we have a unique

471
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 2: timeline in our life, and we should be raising our

472
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:28,359
Speaker 2: friends up. And if your friend gets a big promotion,

473
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,440
Speaker 2: like clap for them instead of feeling I feel like

474
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:33,000
Speaker 2: a lot of people's instinctive reaction is to feel that

475
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 2: little bit of jealousy or that little bit of I'm

476
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 2: not doing good enough. But there's enough in the world

477
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 2: for everyone. And I think again it comes down to

478
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:43,800
Speaker 2: that abundance mindset versus close like fixed mindset. And if

479
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,119
Speaker 2: you kind of see it as if they could do it,

480
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,120
Speaker 2: I can also do that. So yeah, I think it's

481
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:51,399
Speaker 2: really reframing clapping for your friends and knowing that if

482
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,440
Speaker 2: they can do amazing things in their career, so can you.

483
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 1: I love that so much that's incredible. And imagine I think,

484
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 1: because these are all like mindset tweaks, but it's like,

485
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:06,680
Speaker 1: imagine if you can And I think also it's okay

486
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 1: to have that initial feeling of oh, they're doing better

487
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 1: or they're doing this, But then if you can reframe

488
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:15,080
Speaker 1: that and reshape that, that is going to get you

489
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 1: so much further.

490
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 2: And you sit in that feeling, sit in that feeling

491
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 2: of like why am I reacting like this? Is it

492
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,399
Speaker 2: out of jealousy? Is it out of me not feeling

493
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,639
Speaker 2: good enough or feeling stuck in my career? Like, you

494
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,600
Speaker 2: can actually get a lot of breakthroughs when you actually

495
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,080
Speaker 2: sit in your discomfort and realize, like why am I

496
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 2: reacting this way? Because really, a good friend, you should

497
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 2: be like wow, I'm so happy for you. I'm really excited,

498
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 2: Like that's amazing, instead of that automatic jealousy response.

499
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:43,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's incredible. Let's move on to Korea now. I

500
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:46,879
Speaker 1: love that We've also had very similar backgrounds, crazy, very

501
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 1: very similar. Did you ever like practice in law? You

502
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:50,040
Speaker 1: just did?

503
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 2: I got scared off at the internship face can look

504
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 2: internship and I remember going into the offices and what

505
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 2: law did employment? I did my thesis in social media law,

506
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 2: which I loved. And then yeah, I did a lot

507
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:04,360
Speaker 2: of employment law.

508
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:06,600
Speaker 1: Interesting and you're like, not for me.

509
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:08,639
Speaker 2: But I think it wasn't even the actual law. I

510
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,639
Speaker 2: think it was just the environment of the officers. It

511
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 2: was very serious, it was very formal, it was very hierarchical.

512
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:16,120
Speaker 2: It was very like you're the junior, know your place. Yeah,

513
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:17,680
Speaker 2: And I didn't like that. And it's like I could

514
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,080
Speaker 2: bring fresh ideas, like I could bring more efficient ways

515
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:22,640
Speaker 2: of doing things, but it was very like earn your stripes.

516
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:24,199
Speaker 2: And I was like, I can't do this every day,

517
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 2: like I was miserable. Yeah, no offense to my lawyer friends.

518
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:32,119
Speaker 2: Did she you said it?

519
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 1: Don't I go? Yeah? All right, So let's chat. Korea

520
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,399
Speaker 1: says for the career galleys. Do you have any tips

521
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 1: for cereal over apologizers. How can we get better at

522
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 1: not apologizing but also knowing when we should apologize. This

523
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,879
Speaker 1: is honestly for me because I say sorry before anything,

524
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,200
Speaker 1: even if it's it's like a habit for me.

525
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think a lot of people when something happens,

526
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,680
Speaker 2: we just default saying I'm sorry, I apologie. I didn't

527
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:02,400
Speaker 2: mean to do that and a lot of the time,

528
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,920
Speaker 2: like you don't need to be apologizing for everything, and

529
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 2: it could be shifting your language to saying thank you

530
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 2: for being patient, great pickup, I'll make that change now

531
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,360
Speaker 2: to the report or to the email and really reframing

532
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,879
Speaker 2: it as being grateful for the feedback as opposed to

533
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:19,400
Speaker 2: automatically just apologizing. Really can build up your self confidence

534
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:22,600
Speaker 2: and not always like default back into apologizing. But on

535
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 2: that same note, I think it's really important to know

536
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 2: that when you have made a mistake, own own it,

537
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,719
Speaker 2: like going up to that mistake and apologize and make

538
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,360
Speaker 2: amends for it. Because it's all well and good to say, yes,

539
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:37,000
Speaker 2: let's change our language, let's stop overapologizing, let's say sorry less.

540
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 2: But if you have made an error, like really own it.

541
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 2: Like I know a lot of people try and like

542
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:42,680
Speaker 2: sidestep and pretend it didn't happen.

543
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,159
Speaker 1: But that is my pair tate. There's a lot of

544
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 1: don't own their shit, yeah, because I'm like, we're human,

545
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 1: of course we're gonna make mistakes. But when it's like

546
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 1: they try to blame someone else or somethink and they

547
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 1: just don't own it, I'm like just.

548
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,159
Speaker 2: Trying it and I think the best way to own it,

549
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 2: especially in a work setting, is just own.

550
00:26:58,920 --> 00:26:59,159
Speaker 1: Up to it.

551
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 2: Setting your boss. I'm really sorry I did this. This

552
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:03,399
Speaker 2: is what I did to fix it, and if you

553
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 2: have any feedback for it to not happen again in

554
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:07,639
Speaker 2: the future, let me know so you're learning from it.

555
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 2: I think it's such an important thing to own your

556
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:12,439
Speaker 2: mistake but also learns it doesn't happen again in the future.

557
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 1: I love that, So just repeat that again. On what's

558
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:18,720
Speaker 1: something we can say instead of sorry in the case

559
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:20,960
Speaker 1: of like, you know, it's not something we have to

560
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:25,399
Speaker 1: completely apologize for, but it's like, yeah, a simple mistake

561
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:27,639
Speaker 1: or well, you know what I do a tear. I

562
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:30,639
Speaker 1: always say sorry before I then ask you to do something.

563
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:34,159
Speaker 1: It's almost like, yeah, sorry, can you do this, But

564
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:36,399
Speaker 1: it's like, weirdly, I don't know.

565
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 2: I think it's reframing it of saying a tea thank

566
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 2: you for your help. I really appreciate you doing it again.

567
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 2: I was taking the nice question, but I think reframing

568
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,119
Speaker 2: it in terms of that gratitude sense, like thank you

569
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,399
Speaker 2: for all your help. I really appreciate everything you do

570
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 2: for the team. You start my LinkedIn page.

571
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 1: A tea you're amazing, you are so talented, and I

572
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:06,959
Speaker 1: need a coffee. No, I'm joking, and I do need

573
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 1: just start.

574
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:10,440
Speaker 2: I linked patient, I have we got it on the

575
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:11,760
Speaker 2: recording now, so it's happening.

576
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:14,320
Speaker 1: Put it in you're a sat up.

577
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 2: But I think in that sense, like, yeah, Ifatia made

578
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,840
Speaker 2: a small mistake, she could be like, thanks for picking

579
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:22,879
Speaker 2: that up, Georgie, like I'll make the quick edit now,

580
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 2: instead of saying I'm so so sorry, like I've completely

581
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 2: stuffed it up, like I'm terrible. And I think a

582
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:29,639
Speaker 2: lot of people default to that self bashing instead of

583
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 2: just saying like thanks, thanks for letting you know I

584
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,440
Speaker 2: can make that change, or thanks for being patient. I

585
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 2: can get that email to you in ten minutes.

586
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 1: I love that so much. Taking it on board. Okay,

587
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 1: so what are some tips if someone is currently feeling

588
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 1: a bit stuck in their current job, Like maybe they're

589
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,240
Speaker 1: a little bit like, oh, I don't know if this

590
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 1: is the thing, or I just kind of don't like

591
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 1: the people, I don't like the environment. They're just they're

592
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:56,600
Speaker 1: having all the films, And.

593
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:59,720
Speaker 2: I think that's exactly step one. Reflect on what's making

594
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,520
Speaker 2: you feel stuck? Is it the type of work. Is

595
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,240
Speaker 2: it the team that you're working with, because the avenue

596
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 2: that you take is going to be very different depending

597
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 2: on why you're actually feeling stuck, So be really specific.

598
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 2: Is it I hate my boss, I don't get along

599
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:14,840
Speaker 2: with my team, not you.

600
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 1: Interesting?

601
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:19,760
Speaker 2: Or is it that I don't enjoy the work. I

602
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 2: don't enjoy doing legal work? So really understanding what is

603
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 2: making you feel stuck is the first thing. And then

604
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 2: getting really practical, what are your options? If you work

605
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,880
Speaker 2: in a big company or even a smaller one, can

606
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 2: you change teams? Can you move from doing these kind

607
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 2: of projects to doing other types of projects to test

608
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 2: out different things? Talk to a lot of people. Talk

609
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 2: to people and ask them about what they do in

610
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:41,200
Speaker 2: their work. Instead of making a big jump and realizing

611
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,640
Speaker 2: you hate it again, always talk to people. And I'm

612
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 2: a big advocate of cold messages on LinkedIn, so send

613
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 2: If you see someone on LinkedIn you like their career journey,

614
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 2: send them a message and say, hey, can we have

615
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 2: a fifteen minute virtual coffee and I want to learn

616
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 2: about your career? I say nine times out of ten

617
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 2: people say yes, Like it's actually crazy how willing people

618
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 2: are to help and yeah, learn about what other people do.

619
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 1: Learn.

620
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 2: Don't message me, everyone can message me.

621
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:08,040
Speaker 1: Listen because.

622
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:10,600
Speaker 2: The change us.

623
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 1: And Jack you guys, love you. But also this is

624
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 1: what the podcast is for.

625
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 2: This is open therapy literally, And then as well as that,

626
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 2: I think life's short and we work. I think the

627
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 2: start is ninety thousand hours of our life at work,

628
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 2: ninety one third of our lifetime we're actually at work.

629
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 2: So you need to be doing something that you enjoy.

630
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 2: If you're feeling stuck, if you're not enjoying your work,

631
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:38,360
Speaker 2: you need to make a move and you need to

632
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:40,440
Speaker 2: like plan that out. The longer you stay there, the

633
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 2: longer you're just delaying this misery in your life. And

634
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 2: I think work consumes a lot of us. So you

635
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 2: need to be in somewhere like you need to work

636
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,400
Speaker 2: somewhere you feel supported, you feel happy, you feel engaged

637
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 2: in somewhere where that you can grow. So yeah, I

638
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,760
Speaker 2: think it's really important start applying for new jobs and

639
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 2: in the short term try and find joy outside of work.

640
00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 2: If you're feeling really stuck at work, think about something

641
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 2: that you can do after work that brings you joys

642
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 2: it go down to the beach, is it going for

643
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:06,640
Speaker 2: a walk. Is it calling a friend after work? Find

644
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 2: something that reinvigorates you and brings you joy outside of work,

645
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 2: Because I think too many of us attach our identity

646
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:14,120
Speaker 2: and our self worth to our job, and I think

647
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:15,280
Speaker 2: that's a really negative thing to do.

648
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 1: That's let's unpack that. More So, if someone has completely

649
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 1: attached their identity to their work, what's something they can

650
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 1: start doing to unattach themselves.

651
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 2: So I think, as I was saying before, it's like

652
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 2: finding out who you are outside of your job. So

653
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:34,800
Speaker 2: what are the collies? Yeah, what are the things that

654
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:43,200
Speaker 2: you enjoy? What are the TV you enjoy working? I

655
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 2: could les's probably ten other things that you enjoyed, Jack,

656
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 2: But it is it's a really hard thing to do

657
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:51,480
Speaker 2: because I think we do spend and I think society

658
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:53,840
Speaker 2: has kind of put us in this box of like

659
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 2: work is everything. Work, your career progression, your business growth,

660
00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 2: that is like that is everything of who you are

661
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 2: as person. But I think taking a step back and saying,

662
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 2: do I actually like myself? Like who I am as

663
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 2: a person? Do I like the things that I do?

664
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 2: Do I like the relationships that I have with my

665
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 2: friends and family? And learning that you are a person

666
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:14,800
Speaker 2: external to your work, and I think learning to love

667
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 2: that person and learning to nurture that person, not just

668
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 2: you as a worker.

669
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's it's so important, isn't it.

670
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 2: You're like reflecting on your head.

671
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:28,640
Speaker 1: So funny. It's it's just funny because Coop always tells

672
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 1: me like I need a hobby, and then like all

673
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 1: the time, I'll always be like, and I want to

674
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:35,280
Speaker 1: do this, but it's like something I could then go

675
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 1: make money. He's like, stop, You're like.

676
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:42,480
Speaker 2: Just go play for tennis. I've actually started playing tennis.

677
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 2: It's really fun.

678
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 1: I unpopular opinion. I hate sport. I hate sport.

679
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:47,600
Speaker 2: Not very athletics.

680
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:51,320
Speaker 1: I'm just not very like No, I like Jim because

681
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:53,080
Speaker 1: it's something I can see progress in.

682
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's still like gamifying something like being able

683
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 2: to see like that. It's not just for pure enjoyment

684
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 2: when I saw something as I saw something on Twitter

685
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 2: the other day as well, it's like reintroduce yourself to

686
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,480
Speaker 2: things that brought you joy as a kid. So maybe

687
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 2: it was like doing some kind of art and craft

688
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 2: or it was like I used to do I used

689
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 2: to I love it. I love it.

690
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 1: I used to do drama, so did I and of

691
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 1: course like the same person, the same person, and I'm

692
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,200
Speaker 1: that dramatic at work, so I feel like I put

693
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:28,720
Speaker 1: a lot of druma No I do well. I also

694
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 1: have a daughter and we you know, we do a

695
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 1: lot of fun stuff together, so I think that is

696
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,719
Speaker 1: really important. So something I've actually really wanted to chat

697
00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 1: too about is networking because I personally not I don't know,

698
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 1: not always about it. I haven't always had the best

699
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,480
Speaker 1: experience with networking. So I'd love for you to bring

700
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 1: like how we can do it, the does the.

701
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 2: Don't absolutely, Let's break it down. And I always say,

702
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,440
Speaker 2: and I'm such a big advocate for networking because I

703
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 2: think it is the secret weapon for your career. It

704
00:33:56,760 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 2: is so underrated, it's so underestimated. But so many people

705
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 2: get new jobs, they get promotions through their network. People

706
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 2: can exponentially grow their business based on their network. And

707
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:09,719
Speaker 2: there's a saying, and it's true, and it says that

708
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:13,239
Speaker 2: your network is your network. So a summation of the

709
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:16,320
Speaker 2: people that you know, the people around you true. And

710
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 2: I think you underestimate yourself that all the people in

711
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:20,360
Speaker 2: this room are your network, all the people that you

712
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:23,480
Speaker 2: have on social media are your network. So learning how

713
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 2: to build that network and cultivate those relationships is so important.

714
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:29,880
Speaker 2: And in terms of how to do it, networking can

715
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 2: be really scary, and that's the thing that I get

716
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,320
Speaker 2: told all the time. And my best advice for that

717
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 2: is treat it like a conversation, like treat it like

718
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 2: you're making a friend. Don't go into any form of

719
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:43,399
Speaker 2: discussion networking event trying to get something out of someone

720
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:46,680
Speaker 2: because it just comes across as really fake and not genuine.

721
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:50,399
Speaker 2: So when we're chatting now, we're just having a chat

722
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:52,960
Speaker 2: becoming friends. It's not this false kind of conversation, and

723
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,200
Speaker 2: I think really just getting to know the other person,

724
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,760
Speaker 2: learning about what they're going to do. And it doesn't

725
00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 2: mean that you have to do something for them or

726
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,279
Speaker 2: they have to do something for you immediately. But it

727
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 2: could be five years down the track and you need

728
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:06,320
Speaker 2: a new supply for your business and they happen to

729
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,640
Speaker 2: know someone that could help you, and it's all those

730
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 2: like tiny little connections that come back, and like that's

731
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:14,959
Speaker 2: the power of your network. It's when you need something,

732
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 2: you can put some feelers out and people know someone

733
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 2: that knows someone that knows someone, and that's the power

734
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:22,360
Speaker 2: of a network. So I think it's really just like

735
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:26,240
Speaker 2: cultivating friendships I would like to say, like becoming friends

736
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 2: with lots of different people. And as well as that,

737
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 2: I always say network vertically and horizontally. So always network

738
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:34,960
Speaker 2: with people that are ten years ahead of you, that

739
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:38,920
Speaker 2: maybe are the top of their company or their have

740
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:41,279
Speaker 2: a huge business and there's someone that you aspire to

741
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 2: and try to learn from them. But also network horizontally.

742
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,720
Speaker 2: Network with people in your team. Network with your peers,

743
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:49,200
Speaker 2: because as you all kind of rise up, you're there

744
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:51,239
Speaker 2: to help each other and leverage off that too. So

745
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,960
Speaker 2: network both ways. And in terms of where to network,

746
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,400
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people get stuck with that.

747
00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:59,440
Speaker 2: Go to networking events if there's any go to any

748
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,959
Speaker 2: events that are in your space. And as I said before,

749
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,880
Speaker 2: like cold message on LinkedIn, send someone a DM on Instagram.

750
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:08,719
Speaker 2: Is actually so weirdly surprising how often people want to help,

751
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 2: especially really successful people. I've messaged CEOs of like big

752
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,239
Speaker 2: companies and they want to have a chat or they'll

753
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:16,880
Speaker 2: answer some of my questions, and it's amazing how much

754
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:17,839
Speaker 2: people want to give back.

755
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's incredible. Me just thinking I'm gonna

756
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 1: make dmzo Foster Blake.

757
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 2: Like, please help. I love that.

758
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 1: And you know what, now that I'm actually reflecting on it,

759
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 1: Me and Cooper do talk about this all the time

760
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:33,320
Speaker 1: in nh OF, Like it's really who you know in

761
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 1: regards to like how we found our current manufacturer was

762
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 1: his best friend who's a roofer, was doing his roof and.

763
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:44,000
Speaker 2: That's your network.

764
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:46,360
Speaker 1: And then was like, oh, yeah, my friend just you know,

765
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, and then we got his number. And

766
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:50,960
Speaker 1: it's really incredible because our manufacturer is incredible and they

767
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,920
Speaker 1: don't actually take on any new business. They don't actually

768
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 1: have a website, like they're that solid that they've just

769
00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:59,239
Speaker 1: got their clients and they're you know, they don't really

770
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:01,719
Speaker 1: take on any it's like word of mouth. So there's

771
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 1: actually like no way we could have found them if you.

772
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,680
Speaker 2: Couldn't find them through Google. It was people through your network.

773
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 2: And I think a lot of people like I don't

774
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 2: have a network. I don't know how to build it,

775
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 2: but we all do. Like it's your friends, it's your

776
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:13,360
Speaker 2: friends of friends, it's people that you've worked with their

777
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 2: previous jobs. Like we all have way bigger networks than

778
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:19,280
Speaker 2: we think. And I think just maintaining those relationships, being friendly,

779
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:21,640
Speaker 2: checking in with people, asking how they are, and you

780
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 2: never know when you might need to circle back to

781
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:24,280
Speaker 2: them in the future.

782
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:26,359
Speaker 1: I love that. And that's even if I think about

783
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:29,800
Speaker 1: how I got my clerkship was I was working in

784
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 1: real estate and like the more mortgage broker guy knew

785
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,440
Speaker 1: the lawyer I end up working for. And that's how

786
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:36,760
Speaker 1: I got the interview exactly.

787
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:38,440
Speaker 2: And that's what I was saying, Like people find like

788
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 2: people land positions, they land promotions because someone knows someone

789
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 2: that is hiring for a role and then they recommend you.

790
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:46,439
Speaker 2: So it's all like, that's why I say your.

791
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:49,000
Speaker 1: Network is everything. Your network is your network noted. I

792
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:51,560
Speaker 1: love you changed my whole mind. So about it. Let's

793
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 1: get into well being. I love this, okay, So do

794
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:58,439
Speaker 1: you have any tips for being able to leave work

795
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:00,759
Speaker 1: at work? This is not for me.

796
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:03,359
Speaker 2: That's one of the stories last night. Actually you're talking

797
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 2: about it.

798
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've got a whole thing about it right now,

799
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:10,880
Speaker 1: and transition nicely out of work mode, especially for people

800
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 1: who work from home.

801
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 2: I think as much as possible. I'm still working on

802
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:17,800
Speaker 2: this one, but delete the email app off your phone.

803
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:22,759
Speaker 2: I think, actually, like my face, like I could never

804
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:25,040
Speaker 2: do that, what do you mean? But I think it's

805
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 2: something that is so important to remember. And this is

806
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,640
Speaker 2: a quote that I live by, is that your urgency

807
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:33,800
Speaker 2: is not my emergency. And I think, like really thinking

808
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:35,759
Speaker 2: about that quote that if you get an email through

809
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 2: at seven pm at night and someone is saying urgent, urgent,

810
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 2: please reply, nine times out of ten it's not that urgent.

811
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:44,759
Speaker 2: It can wait until tomorrow. And I think really reframing yeah,

812
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 2: that relationship around work and saying no, this email can wait.

813
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,840
Speaker 2: People can wait six hours for a reply, and that's fine.

814
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,319
Speaker 2: So I think, yeah, if possible, deleting the email app

815
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:55,360
Speaker 2: off your phone so you have that distraction away and

816
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,759
Speaker 2: you can actually just focus on your home time. And

817
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:00,399
Speaker 2: another one if you work in an office, coming home

818
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,200
Speaker 2: changing out of those clothes, or even if you work

819
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:06,320
Speaker 2: from home, changing into comfy clothes, changing into your gym clothes,

820
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:08,880
Speaker 2: and having some kind of post work routine, whether it

821
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 2: is going to an exercise class, going to the gym,

822
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 2: whether it's playing with your daughter, whether it's like calling

823
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:17,279
Speaker 2: a friend and talking about something that's not work. And

824
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:19,440
Speaker 2: I think that we fall into that trap as well,

825
00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 2: where you come home, you might say to your partner,

826
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:23,640
Speaker 2: this is ABC of what happened at work today, and

827
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:25,920
Speaker 2: everything just always comes back to work. So I think

828
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:28,560
Speaker 2: it's being able to detach yourself from work, have a

829
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:32,760
Speaker 2: different routine and yeah, easier said than done, but actively

830
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 2: trying to switch off.

831
00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:37,600
Speaker 1: I love that I have much been on this process

832
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 1: because I realized it took me, honestly like a year

833
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:46,320
Speaker 1: of being a working mum to figure this out, because

834
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:49,160
Speaker 1: I would I would. It's not even like I would

835
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 1: work at home. It's not like I'd be on my emails,

836
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:53,840
Speaker 1: It's not like I would be on the apps. It

837
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:58,279
Speaker 1: was just more me mentally being still at work and

838
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 1: thinking about work and thinking what I had to do.

839
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,160
Speaker 1: And so me and me and Tim kind of do

840
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 1: this thing of first of all, it's like if I

841
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:08,799
Speaker 1: do feel a bit stressful, I have certain songs I play,

842
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:11,240
Speaker 1: so it's like to get me into a different vibe.

843
00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:18,239
Speaker 2: And even like everyone's got their own weird thing, yeah whatever, So.

844
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:20,400
Speaker 1: I have, like, you know, the songs I do that,

845
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 1: And then walking in Tim always asked me how my

846
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 1: day is, and I'll tell him. But then after that

847
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:29,719
Speaker 1: we don't talk about work. And it's done. And so

848
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:32,840
Speaker 1: you know, yesterday I was a bit stressed because we

849
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:35,399
Speaker 1: got this email and we got action something and blah

850
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:38,000
Speaker 1: blah blah. So I told him about that and then

851
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:40,560
Speaker 1: it was done and we didn't talk about work and

852
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:44,080
Speaker 1: we started talking about Ivy and stuff, and even like

853
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:49,080
Speaker 1: the actual physical action of coming home and having an

854
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,279
Speaker 1: embrace with Ivy is just my thing where I'm like,

855
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:55,960
Speaker 1: it's smelling her and being like, okay, I'm home, and.

856
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:58,879
Speaker 2: It reminds you of your priorities, like yeah, family literally.

857
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:04,440
Speaker 1: Do not matter. And it's also especially because you are like,

858
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:07,600
Speaker 1: you're at work fucking so much like I do. I

859
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:10,160
Speaker 1: work a lot, and I it's just it is what

860
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 1: it is, and I do want to do that. But

861
00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 1: it's like, no, if I'm gonna be at home, I'm

862
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:18,520
Speaker 1: going to also mentally be here and enogenically be here.

863
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:22,800
Speaker 1: Because it really I noticed it so much, and I

864
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:26,520
Speaker 1: honestly see, Ivy is such a blessing because I think

865
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:29,239
Speaker 1: previously I was like that too, but because you don't

866
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 1: have a child, you it's like I didn't actually know

867
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 1: that I was still energetically at work because you know,

868
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:37,960
Speaker 1: I could just go on my phone or it didn't

869
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:42,080
Speaker 1: matter too much with just him, but having it like yeah,

870
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,200
Speaker 1: like whatever, or like you know, he'd be at GEMA

871
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 1: saying so I'd just like be a potato on the couch.

872
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 1: But I notice how much now I'm being with like

873
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:53,279
Speaker 1: very intentionable or like no, I'm at home now, and

874
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:57,840
Speaker 1: how much happier I've been, and just like yeah, almost

875
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:00,279
Speaker 1: the priority thing of like this actually doesn't fuck it matter.

876
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 2: And I also find as well, when you give yourself

877
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:05,239
Speaker 2: that space away from work and you can actually switch off,

878
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:07,480
Speaker 2: you then can bring a better version of yourself to

879
00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:11,719
Speaker 2: work because you give yourself time to recharge. And I

880
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:13,880
Speaker 2: find I get creatively boats out a lot where I

881
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,319
Speaker 2: can't even think of new ideas or new creative things.

882
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 2: And when you actually take a weekend off and you

883
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:20,960
Speaker 2: spend it off social media and then come back on

884
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:23,080
Speaker 2: a Monday, you have all these new ideas because you've

885
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:25,600
Speaker 2: been out in the world, just sluck to your phone

886
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:27,680
Speaker 2: or stuck to your emails, and you can bring a

887
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:29,239
Speaker 2: better version of yourself to work.

888
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 1: I love that so much. It's so important. Can you

889
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 1: talk to us about how we can overcome our fear

890
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:37,080
Speaker 1: of failure?

891
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:39,440
Speaker 2: And I think this is something I struggle with a lot.

892
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,279
Speaker 2: I know a lot of people, especially if you're really

893
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 2: high achieving or you're always a perfectionist. I think it's

894
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:46,440
Speaker 2: something that a lot of people struggle with. And something

895
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:49,840
Speaker 2: that's really helped me is shifting my mindset around failure

896
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:52,759
Speaker 2: and instead of seeing failure as something really negative and

897
00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:56,480
Speaker 2: really something to put myself down for, it's reframing it

898
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:58,920
Speaker 2: as an opportunity to learn and grow. And I think

899
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:01,560
Speaker 2: that every time. And there's a really great quote that says,

900
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:04,160
Speaker 2: you either win or you learn, so failure is never

901
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 2: actually an option. You either learn from that opportunity, and

902
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 2: I think for a lot of people, the best outcomes

903
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,239
Speaker 2: and the best breakthroughs come when you have failed in

904
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:13,960
Speaker 2: the past. If everything is too easy, then we never

905
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 2: really achieve get any satisfaction from what we achieve. So

906
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,200
Speaker 2: I think really reframing it is an opportunity to learn

907
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:22,880
Speaker 2: and grow is a big thing. And asking yourself some

908
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,719
Speaker 2: questions what's the worst that can happen? I always ask

909
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:27,719
Speaker 2: myself that, like, what is the worst that can happen

910
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:29,879
Speaker 2: in this scenario? And if you're okay with that worst

911
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:31,600
Speaker 2: case scenario and you know you can fix it or

912
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:34,400
Speaker 2: come out of it, You're fine, what is the likelihood

913
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:36,120
Speaker 2: that this is going to happen? And I think taking

914
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:38,239
Speaker 2: the emotion out of those questions as well and just

915
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:41,280
Speaker 2: being really neutral and realistic about the worst case scenario

916
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:43,520
Speaker 2: can really help with it because at the end of

917
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:45,360
Speaker 2: the day, like if you don't get that job that

918
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:47,279
Speaker 2: you went for, what's the worst that can happen? You

919
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 2: can apply for something else and find something better. So

920
00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:52,840
Speaker 2: I think really reframing yourself around failure and it's not

921
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:54,759
Speaker 2: the end of the world is a really big thing.

922
00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 2: And then second to that is find out ways to

923
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 2: reduce your risk plan And I think the best way

924
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 2: to think about this is in terms of a business. So,

925
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 2: if you want to start a business, what are ways

926
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:08,160
Speaker 2: that you can minimize the risk of failure. Is it

927
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:10,680
Speaker 2: having a bit of an emergency fund and a buffer

928
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:13,839
Speaker 2: for your business? Is it having a business plan, learning

929
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:16,320
Speaker 2: the skills that you need to succeed, taking small steps

930
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 2: before you take a big plunge. And I think, yeah,

931
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:20,359
Speaker 2: figuring out ways to minimize the risk as well can

932
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:21,719
Speaker 2: help a lot of people without fear.

933
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:24,239
Speaker 1: I love that so much. Me and Ti, you are

934
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 1: actually just talking about this yesterday. Of like with failure,

935
00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 1: it's like we see this, we see it as such

936
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:35,400
Speaker 1: a huge thing. It cripples us and limits us. And

937
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:38,080
Speaker 1: it's like, if you think about it most things, is

938
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:40,879
Speaker 1: like if you fail, you're just going to be where

939
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:41,239
Speaker 1: you are.

940
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,319
Speaker 2: Now, exactly. And I always think of it like think

941
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:45,479
Speaker 2: of life as a video game. If you keep like winning,

942
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 2: you're just still staying on that level. But like to

943
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,719
Speaker 2: elevate to the next level, like you need to learn

944
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:51,880
Speaker 2: new skills, you need to fail. You need to realize

945
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,120
Speaker 2: where you're kind of limits us so you can go

946
00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 2: to that next level. If everything's too easy, you just

947
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:57,400
Speaker 2: stay a bit stagnant.

948
00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:00,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's even like you know, with us and

949
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 1: you know, doing law degrees and that sort of thing.

950
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:05,200
Speaker 1: Is like I would never even though it is for

951
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:07,319
Speaker 1: me it was like six years of study and doing

952
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:10,160
Speaker 1: the plot and everything, I would never see that as

953
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:12,880
Speaker 1: a failure. Obviously I finished it, but even in the

954
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:15,320
Speaker 1: way of like or a mistake, because it's like I

955
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 1: learned so many skills. It wasn't a waste of time.

956
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:20,920
Speaker 1: It was exactly what I needed in that moment to

957
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:24,120
Speaker 1: you know, support me and to get me to where

958
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:25,920
Speaker 1: I am now and to learn those skills and do

959
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:28,440
Speaker 1: those things. So it's like I truly believe. It's just

960
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:29,719
Speaker 1: like you really can't fuck it.

961
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 2: Up absolutely and your path is there for you, Like

962
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:34,360
Speaker 2: you just need to kind of trust the process a

963
00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:36,280
Speaker 2: little bit. And I think a lot of people, especially

964
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:38,960
Speaker 2: now in this social media age, we want this instant gratification.

965
00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:41,520
Speaker 2: We need answers now, we need to figure things out immediately.

966
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 2: But sometimes it is taking that step back and being

967
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:47,719
Speaker 2: okay with going maybe this, like maybe this will stuff up,

968
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:49,440
Speaker 2: maybe this will screw up, but I'm going to learn

969
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:50,839
Speaker 2: from it and I'm going to go somewhere better.

970
00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 1: I love that so much. And then we're we're going

971
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:59,799
Speaker 1: a little bit different here. How can we be more productive?

972
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:02,359
Speaker 2: I have a three step process that I swear by

973
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:04,800
Speaker 2: the say similar, I'm sure, I'm.

974
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 1: Sure everyone, this was just what I need to share.

975
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 2: So my freestep process is brain dump, prioritize, and time block.

976
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:13,879
Speaker 1: So I love this so much.

977
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 2: I always do this the night before as well, because

978
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:17,840
Speaker 2: what I used to find is that I'd wake up

979
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:19,960
Speaker 2: in the morning and I'd try and like plan my

980
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 2: day and be a little bit frantic and get overwhelmed

981
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 2: with how much needs to get done. But if you

982
00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:26,560
Speaker 2: plan it either at five o'clock the day before or

983
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:28,680
Speaker 2: before you go to bed, you can hit the like

984
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:30,640
Speaker 2: the next day running. You can hit the ground running.

985
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:33,160
Speaker 2: You know exactly what you're doing. So highly recommend to

986
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 2: anyone that is listening to plan your days the night before.

987
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 2: But essentially, the first thing I do is brain dump

988
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:41,239
Speaker 2: everything on my head, every little tiny thing. Do I

989
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:42,719
Speaker 2: need to ring the dentist, Do I need to send

990
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:44,440
Speaker 2: this email? Do I need to follow up this person?

991
00:46:44,719 --> 00:46:47,000
Speaker 2: Get it all out on paper because that will clear

992
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 2: your mind instantly. And it's weird how much we kind

993
00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:51,560
Speaker 2: of store in our heads. And if you can get

994
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 2: it all out on paper, if you're worried about needing

995
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:55,440
Speaker 2: to text a friend back, write it down, you'll get

996
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:59,000
Speaker 2: to it. And then the next thing is prioritize. So

997
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:01,239
Speaker 2: pick three things on that list that you want to

998
00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:03,920
Speaker 2: get done the next day. And I think this is

999
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:07,279
Speaker 2: a massive thing to reduce overwhelm and picking three things

1000
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 2: that if you get them done, you've had a good day.

1001
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:11,040
Speaker 2: So they're the three main things that you need to

1002
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 2: focus on. Anything extra is a bonus. So then once

1003
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:16,840
Speaker 2: you've done that, start time blocking your day and the

1004
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:20,839
Speaker 2: benefit of time blocking, which is essentially podcast recording eight

1005
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:23,880
Speaker 2: to nine am. You're going to force your brain to

1006
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:26,239
Speaker 2: get into the habit of completing the task and the time.

1007
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:29,880
Speaker 2: And I think it's called Peradoes principle. Correct me if

1008
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:32,360
Speaker 2: I'm wrong, someone look it up after But essentially it

1009
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:36,440
Speaker 2: means that you will fill the space with that activity,

1010
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:38,320
Speaker 2: you'll fill the time with that activity. So if you

1011
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:40,839
Speaker 2: give yourself two hours to do something, you will take

1012
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:42,759
Speaker 2: two hours to do it. If you give yourself half

1013
00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:44,560
Speaker 2: an hour to do it, you will get that same

1014
00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:46,600
Speaker 2: thing done in half an hour because you've told yourself,

1015
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:48,360
Speaker 2: I only have half an hour to finish this. So

1016
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:51,960
Speaker 2: that's essentially what time blocking is. So pop in everything

1017
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 2: into your day into different time blocks. You can use

1018
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 2: your calendar, you can use a template, and then that's

1019
00:47:57,680 --> 00:47:59,400
Speaker 2: going to keep you really productive. So if you know

1020
00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:01,799
Speaker 2: I have one hour to finish this report, you'll get

1021
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 2: it done in the hour. I have thirty minutes to

1022
00:48:03,719 --> 00:48:05,200
Speaker 2: work out, You're going to do your workout in that

1023
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:07,400
Speaker 2: thirty minutes. And it gives you that structure to your

1024
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:10,560
Speaker 2: day that you don't feel overwhelmed, you don't feel frazzled.

1025
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 2: You can just keep looking back to what block you're

1026
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:13,879
Speaker 2: up to and keep ticking things off.

1027
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:17,920
Speaker 1: I swear by time blocking, I've gotten so much better.

1028
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:19,920
Speaker 1: Am an idea I would used to be shocking, But

1029
00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:23,120
Speaker 1: so what I do is I actually plan my whole

1030
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:26,919
Speaker 1: week the friday before. So I had, like I use

1031
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:29,680
Speaker 1: notion asan I have all the things. But what I

1032
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:31,960
Speaker 1: do is I will look at that and be like cool,

1033
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:35,200
Speaker 1: and I like to I like to work that in advance.

1034
00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:38,279
Speaker 1: I like to, you know, I have like my signature

1035
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:42,399
Speaker 1: stuff like podcast recordings. We've got to record intros, team

1036
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:44,320
Speaker 1: meetings and that sort of stuff that like live in

1037
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:46,880
Speaker 1: my calendar. And then I'll go to my to do

1038
00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:48,560
Speaker 1: list and be like, cool, what if I got to

1039
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:51,439
Speaker 1: get done next week, whether it's like doing a brief

1040
00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:54,320
Speaker 1: for a product, prepping, brainstorming for a new course, like

1041
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:57,359
Speaker 1: all those things, and I will go in I use

1042
00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:01,400
Speaker 1: Google Calendar and I will go in time block the

1043
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:03,520
Speaker 1: very specific things.

1044
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:05,800
Speaker 2: And color coded as well, like for different color.

1045
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:09,440
Speaker 1: Coded, I put gym in, I put any personal appointments,

1046
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:13,359
Speaker 1: get it fully done. And then also Ellie sends out

1047
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:16,239
Speaker 1: of like a like a broadcast to the team and

1048
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,319
Speaker 1: just says, who needs meetings with Georgie next week? Because

1049
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:21,200
Speaker 1: I'm doing her calendar. If you don't get them in,

1050
00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:23,239
Speaker 1: you're not talking to her sort of thing. Well they do.

1051
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:27,000
Speaker 1: It's not that crazy. But and then it's so good

1052
00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:29,960
Speaker 1: because literally the week before I know exactly what I'm

1053
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:32,799
Speaker 1: focusing on. I come to work, I do the thing.

1054
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:36,480
Speaker 1: And then also what's really cool is in my businesses,

1055
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:39,480
Speaker 1: we are working at least two weeks ahead, so it's like,

1056
00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:41,759
Speaker 1: if something pops up, I'm like, cool, I'll put.

1057
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:43,399
Speaker 2: It in for next week and it's not a panic

1058
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:45,320
Speaker 2: and it's not a panic because I'm two weeks ahead.

1059
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:48,920
Speaker 1: And like, that has been life changing. And it's funny

1060
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:50,520
Speaker 1: because I was talking to my best friend about it

1061
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 1: and she is very like reactive, and she's like inflow

1062
00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:57,840
Speaker 1: and she's very adventurous and she's like, ooh, calendar like

1063
00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:00,120
Speaker 1: too much. But she has a small business, and I

1064
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:03,520
Speaker 1: was like, trust me, and she's got two kids, so

1065
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:06,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, trust me. You are going to get time back,

1066
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:09,160
Speaker 1: You're going to feel so clear, you're going to be

1067
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:13,520
Speaker 1: less like flustered. It's really really life changing once you

1068
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:15,920
Speaker 1: can figure out and like what I do might not

1069
00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:17,759
Speaker 1: work for you, and what you do, you know, might

1070
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:20,920
Speaker 1: not work for everyone. Better figure out how you can

1071
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:24,640
Speaker 1: be more organized, and it is the big thing is

1072
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 1: sticking to it. And look, sometimes it's not always, it's

1073
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:30,479
Speaker 1: not always one hundred percent. But I think even having

1074
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:33,400
Speaker 1: the intention of like I'm so intentional with my time

1075
00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:37,120
Speaker 1: massive difference. And that's like another one question people get

1076
00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:39,239
Speaker 1: is like, oh my god, how do you like fit

1077
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:42,239
Speaker 1: everything in and do all these things? And I'm like, well,

1078
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:43,759
Speaker 1: it's just my calendar and I just do it.

1079
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:46,360
Speaker 2: And I also say, and that's why priorities are so important.

1080
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:48,840
Speaker 2: It's like, we like, you have time, it's how you

1081
00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:51,400
Speaker 2: want to prioritize that time. And if today you need

1082
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 2: to do one, two, three, and then tomorrow you need

1083
00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:55,239
Speaker 2: to do one, two three. But knowing that you like

1084
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:58,200
Speaker 2: prioritizing is such an important skill, Like knowing I have

1085
00:50:58,320 --> 00:51:00,319
Speaker 2: one hundred things I could be doing at work now,

1086
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 2: but being able to pick the top three things is

1087
00:51:02,719 --> 00:51:05,640
Speaker 2: super important. And I think that helps with that satisfaction

1088
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:07,640
Speaker 2: piece as well, that knowing that you've ticked off these

1089
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:09,279
Speaker 2: three things, You've had a great day at work. And

1090
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:11,560
Speaker 2: I think that really helps the people that get really

1091
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:14,399
Speaker 2: overwhelmed to always put themselves down for not achieving enough,

1092
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:16,960
Speaker 2: And yeah, pick your top three things every single day.

1093
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 2: Focus on them. Everything else is a bonus.

1094
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:21,919
Speaker 1: And that's also what I love is if something does

1095
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:23,640
Speaker 1: come up where I'm like, no, I do have to

1096
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:26,400
Speaker 1: fit it in this week, because I can see my

1097
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:28,560
Speaker 1: whole week, I can be like cool, I can actually

1098
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:31,880
Speaker 1: push that to next week. And then again it's like, bit,

1099
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:32,440
Speaker 1: I know my.

1100
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:34,920
Speaker 2: Priority exactly, and you're knowing, like, what is the thing

1101
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:36,400
Speaker 2: that's a little bit lower on my list that I

1102
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:38,320
Speaker 2: can move to next week? And I do need to

1103
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:40,200
Speaker 2: keep those things because they are a priority. So I

1104
00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:43,319
Speaker 2: think learning the skill of prioritizing and learning like what's

1105
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:45,480
Speaker 2: actually moving the needle for my work and what's not

1106
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:47,880
Speaker 2: moving the needle? And I think, yeah, that's really important.

1107
00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:53,240
Speaker 1: So incredible. All right, moving on our last section, love questions. Okay,

1108
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:56,000
Speaker 1: so the first one I really left like the first

1109
00:51:56,040 --> 00:51:59,720
Speaker 1: section where you wrote about what does and doesn't define

1110
00:51:59,880 --> 00:52:03,240
Speaker 1: us us as people? So are you able to share

1111
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:05,680
Speaker 1: some of this with our audience as well as some

1112
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:08,880
Speaker 1: insight into how we can shift what defines us?

1113
00:52:09,239 --> 00:52:12,480
Speaker 2: Yeah? Absolutely, And I think we all go through life

1114
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:15,240
Speaker 2: trying to figure out who we are, trying to figure

1115
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:18,600
Speaker 2: out how we see ourselves, how others see ourselves, and

1116
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 2: it's often really impacted by a lot of things. So

1117
00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:23,800
Speaker 2: it's impacted by what we see on social media, what

1118
00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:26,400
Speaker 2: we see in the media, the opinions of others, what

1119
00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:28,799
Speaker 2: our parents have told us, what our friends have told us,

1120
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:32,719
Speaker 2: societal pressures, and there's all these like competing voices telling

1121
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:35,680
Speaker 2: us who we should be. And there are so many

1122
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:39,720
Speaker 2: things that do not define us, things like your job title,

1123
00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:45,040
Speaker 2: your education, your income, your size, your age, other people's opinions,

1124
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:47,719
Speaker 2: your past mistakes. Those things do not define you. The

1125
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:50,960
Speaker 2: things that actually define you are how you treat yourself,

1126
00:52:51,239 --> 00:52:54,040
Speaker 2: how you treat your friends and family, how you treat strangers,

1127
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:58,040
Speaker 2: your attitude, your thoughts, your actions, your morals, your values.

1128
00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 2: Those are the things that define you. But yeah, there's

1129
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:04,600
Speaker 2: so many competing voices from external and internal voices telling

1130
00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:07,600
Speaker 2: us that we should be measuring ourselves based on these

1131
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:08,880
Speaker 2: random numbers or figures.

1132
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:12,200
Speaker 1: Oh my god. And it's funny that you know we're

1133
00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 1: talking about this right now, because only a couple of

1134
00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:19,120
Speaker 1: months ago, I sat with the question of, you know,

1135
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:22,839
Speaker 1: if I didn't have my businesses. If I didn't have tim,

1136
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:27,840
Speaker 1: if I didn't have what I have, you know, materialistic wise,

1137
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:31,240
Speaker 1: or even you know, my law degree or blah blah blah,

1138
00:53:32,680 --> 00:53:35,360
Speaker 1: like who would I be? How would I be? And

1139
00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:39,279
Speaker 1: how would I even introduce myself? And that was so

1140
00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:42,359
Speaker 1: profound to me because I noticed how much I had

1141
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:47,600
Speaker 1: attached my self identity to all the things. I'm a mom,

1142
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:50,680
Speaker 1: I'm a business owner. I used to you know, do law.

1143
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 1: I remember that used to be in my intro for

1144
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:54,720
Speaker 1: so long, even when I wasn't doing doing it, because

1145
00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:57,920
Speaker 1: it was something of like, look, I'm smart, you know,

1146
00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:00,479
Speaker 1: and it's like it's something you would Why did.

1147
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:03,640
Speaker 2: You say that? Because you wanted the external people have

1148
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:06,279
Speaker 2: that view of you, whereas like, yeah, what's important was

1149
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:08,080
Speaker 2: who you were as a person exactly.

1150
00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:12,080
Speaker 1: And I realized, you know, how much of a problem

1151
00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:14,719
Speaker 1: that actually is, because then that's going to be your

1152
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:18,960
Speaker 1: driver for how you want people to see you, how

1153
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:22,560
Speaker 1: you are going to decide things. And it was such

1154
00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:26,000
Speaker 1: a profound moment and I realized, actually, I remember talking

1155
00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:29,640
Speaker 1: to my psychologist about this maybe four years ago and

1156
00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:32,759
Speaker 1: her asking me this question and me like not kind

1157
00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:36,200
Speaker 1: of being not ready for it, and so it's interesting

1158
00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:38,840
Speaker 1: the same question came up and I was it was

1159
00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:41,880
Speaker 1: so profound and I was like, oh my god, like

1160
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:44,320
Speaker 1: I was ready for it. So I think this is

1161
00:54:44,719 --> 00:54:46,600
Speaker 1: it's a huge thing of like you need to be

1162
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:49,240
Speaker 1: ready for it, and also you need to be able

1163
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:51,480
Speaker 1: to be very self honest.

1164
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:53,680
Speaker 2: Absolutely, and I think we're all guilty of it. It

1165
00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:57,439
Speaker 2: could be that you job, as we were chatting about before,

1166
00:54:57,560 --> 00:54:59,200
Speaker 2: is something that a lot of people put their self

1167
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:01,680
Speaker 2: worth down to. It could be yeah, I'm too old,

1168
00:55:01,719 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 2: I'm too young for this, like go I'm happy or

1169
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:05,960
Speaker 2: I'm not happy, and yeah, all that stuff at the

1170
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:07,719
Speaker 2: end of the day doesn't matter. And as you said,

1171
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:09,440
Speaker 2: like if you took all of that out of the picture,

1172
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:11,160
Speaker 2: like who are you as a person? Like what do

1173
00:55:11,239 --> 00:55:13,320
Speaker 2: you stand for? What are your morals? What are your values?

1174
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:15,680
Speaker 2: What are your habits and routines? Like are you a

1175
00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:19,359
Speaker 2: kind person? And I think really measuring your worth as

1176
00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:22,640
Speaker 2: that instead of all those kind of material or external

1177
00:55:22,719 --> 00:55:23,680
Speaker 2: things is so important.

1178
00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:26,600
Speaker 1: I love that so much. I kind of leading on

1179
00:55:26,760 --> 00:55:30,839
Speaker 1: to that, how can we celebrate ourselves more? And why

1180
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:31,720
Speaker 1: is this important?

1181
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:33,600
Speaker 2: I love this question because I think it comes back

1182
00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:37,200
Speaker 2: to the collab you just did with yourself. I love

1183
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:42,400
Speaker 2: it with Masseoff and I always say, the longest relationship

1184
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:45,160
Speaker 2: that you're ever going to have is with yourself. So

1185
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:47,759
Speaker 2: we put so much effort into our friendships, into our

1186
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:50,319
Speaker 2: romantic relationships, but at the end of the day, if

1187
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:52,960
Speaker 2: all of that goes away, the only relationship you have

1188
00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:55,600
Speaker 2: left is the one with yourself. So why is it

1189
00:55:55,760 --> 00:55:58,719
Speaker 2: that we treat that relationship the most poorly, the one

1190
00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:00,880
Speaker 2: that we focus the least amount the effort into. So

1191
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:04,760
Speaker 2: it is so important to nurture that relationship with yourself

1192
00:56:04,840 --> 00:56:07,360
Speaker 2: and celebrate yourself every day, Like, celebrate the things that

1193
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:09,919
Speaker 2: your body like, you're a living like, you're a living

1194
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:13,240
Speaker 2: human being. You're doing amazing things. You have the ability

1195
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:15,879
Speaker 2: to work every day, Like celebrate all those tiny things

1196
00:56:15,920 --> 00:56:18,120
Speaker 2: and be appreciative of who you are as a person.

1197
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:20,920
Speaker 1: I love that so much. Your own best friends, as

1198
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:25,640
Speaker 1: I say, be your own best friend. That's incredible. And

1199
00:56:25,719 --> 00:56:29,560
Speaker 1: then to end, let's talk about friendships first and then

1200
00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:32,719
Speaker 1: we're gone to relationships. So with friendships, what are some

1201
00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:35,680
Speaker 1: red flags and what are some green flags?

1202
00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:38,080
Speaker 2: Red flags I think we can all relate to all

1203
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:41,759
Speaker 2: these red and green flags. Massive red flags for friendships

1204
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:44,759
Speaker 2: creates drama. If your friend is always creating a lot

1205
00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:47,879
Speaker 2: of drama, that's a red flag. Exhausting, if they're always

1206
00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:50,520
Speaker 2: putting you down, like those subtle, like the subtle little

1207
00:56:50,520 --> 00:56:53,560
Speaker 2: comments of oh that that's cute or that's good, like

1208
00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:56,919
Speaker 2: that kind of backhanded complex of aggressive. Yeah, yeah, they're

1209
00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:58,920
Speaker 2: never happy for your success. And that kind of was

1210
00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:01,000
Speaker 2: the question we spoke about earlier in the money section,

1211
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:02,880
Speaker 2: like your friends should be rooting for you, they should

1212
00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:05,000
Speaker 2: be cheering you on. They should be your number one fans.

1213
00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:09,200
Speaker 2: And another thing is if they project their insecurities onto you,

1214
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:10,840
Speaker 2: so they all kind of link with each other. And

1215
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:14,040
Speaker 2: if people are constantly projecting their insecurities on you and

1216
00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:16,040
Speaker 2: holding you back because of that, that's a really big

1217
00:57:16,120 --> 00:57:19,440
Speaker 2: red flag. And another one that comes up a lot,

1218
00:57:19,480 --> 00:57:22,720
Speaker 2: which is really interesting, is if their gossip about you

1219
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:25,320
Speaker 2: to your mutual friends. And I think that is an

1220
00:57:25,320 --> 00:57:28,280
Speaker 2: important one, Like if people are talking smack about you

1221
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:30,280
Speaker 2: behind your back and they're meant to be your friend, Like,

1222
00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:31,920
Speaker 2: I think that's a really big flag.

1223
00:57:32,240 --> 00:57:36,400
Speaker 1: That's a fucking nap later, Yeah, see you later. And

1224
00:57:36,480 --> 00:57:37,360
Speaker 1: what about green flags?

1225
00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:40,160
Speaker 2: Green flags one has your back, they're there for you.

1226
00:57:40,280 --> 00:57:41,840
Speaker 2: Through the good or bad, because at the end of

1227
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:44,080
Speaker 2: the day, like friendships aren't, like life's not always fun.

1228
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:46,320
Speaker 2: There's always going to be some really bad moments, really

1229
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:48,920
Speaker 2: trying times. And if they're there for you through the

1230
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:50,840
Speaker 2: good and the bad, not just the fun moments on

1231
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:52,760
Speaker 2: the weekend, that's a sign of a really good friend.

1232
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:56,120
Speaker 2: Another one is they never judge you, they never make

1233
00:57:56,200 --> 00:57:58,800
Speaker 2: things a competition. They're genuinely there to support you. That

1234
00:57:58,920 --> 00:58:01,080
Speaker 2: is such a big one. And they take a genuine

1235
00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:03,960
Speaker 2: interest in your life. They're interested in all the different things.

1236
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:06,640
Speaker 2: They're not just interested in what you're doing on the weekend.

1237
00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:09,560
Speaker 2: They care about like how you're feeling, how you're thinking,

1238
00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:11,760
Speaker 2: like how's your mental health? And I think being able

1239
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:14,240
Speaker 2: to have those open, kind of vulnerable conversations with your

1240
00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:15,320
Speaker 2: friends is a really good thing.

1241
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:19,760
Speaker 1: Can I also add there, for example, if you do

1242
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:23,760
Speaker 1: have a friend and they don't ask you about you know,

1243
00:58:23,920 --> 00:58:27,400
Speaker 1: your your array of things, it's always just one specific thing.

1244
00:58:27,800 --> 00:58:32,440
Speaker 1: I also think it's really important to bring that conversation up.

1245
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:35,440
Speaker 2: Because I think it's some people just don't have anything,

1246
00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:36,120
Speaker 2: like I have no idea.

1247
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:38,560
Speaker 1: That's what I mean is I don't assume that oh

1248
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:40,560
Speaker 1: they're just not asking me about my career because they

1249
00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:43,480
Speaker 1: don't care. It's like maybe they just their thing is,

1250
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:45,240
Speaker 1: like they don't really give a fuck about criers, so

1251
00:58:45,320 --> 00:58:47,640
Speaker 1: they never think to ask you. But then bringing it

1252
00:58:47,800 --> 00:58:52,520
Speaker 1: up and having that conversation first of hey, I'd really

1253
00:58:52,600 --> 00:58:55,440
Speaker 1: love to talk about this more, and like giving that

1254
00:58:56,000 --> 00:59:00,520
Speaker 1: them the opportunity to like meet you there, and then

1255
00:59:00,600 --> 00:59:02,520
Speaker 1: if they still don't And.

1256
00:59:02,560 --> 00:59:05,320
Speaker 2: I think you definitely know when someone is intentionally not

1257
00:59:05,440 --> 00:59:08,000
Speaker 2: caring about you and really being judgmental, or when they

1258
00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:09,680
Speaker 2: are they just don't know that it's something that you

1259
00:59:09,760 --> 00:59:11,360
Speaker 2: want to talk more about or it's something that you

1260
00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:13,520
Speaker 2: want to delve more into. And I think when you

1261
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:15,800
Speaker 2: have conversations with friends about things that you want to

1262
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:18,160
Speaker 2: talk more about or things that you're uncomfortable talking about,

1263
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:21,360
Speaker 2: then you can kind of build a stronger relationship with

1264
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 2: that person as well.

1265
00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:26,600
Speaker 1: That's incredible and then quickly to finish green and red

1266
00:59:26,640 --> 00:59:28,360
Speaker 1: flags in relationships, so.

1267
00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:31,360
Speaker 2: Kind of similar. Some red flags. Number one is if

1268
00:59:31,360 --> 00:59:33,880
Speaker 2: they're emotionally unavailable. I think that's a massive one with

1269
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:36,920
Speaker 2: a partner, if they don't listen to you, if it's

1270
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:39,640
Speaker 2: always very one sided as well, I think a big thing,

1271
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:42,240
Speaker 2: especially when you're dating someone, is when there's no effort

1272
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:44,520
Speaker 2: from the other party, where you always feel like you're

1273
00:59:44,600 --> 00:59:47,200
Speaker 2: the one that's making the effort, when you're always just

1274
00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:49,560
Speaker 2: the convenient option of the last resort. I think that's

1275
00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:52,160
Speaker 2: a huge red flag when it comes to dating or relationships,

1276
00:59:52,480 --> 00:59:55,240
Speaker 2: and then in terms of green flags, the flip side

1277
00:59:55,280 --> 00:59:57,880
Speaker 2: of all those ones. So being made a priority, knowing

1278
00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:01,560
Speaker 2: that you're a priority in someone's life is a massive change.

1279
01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:03,440
Speaker 2: And I think for people that have been in a

1280
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:06,720
Speaker 2: bad relationship and then go into a really healthy, loving relationship,

1281
01:00:06,840 --> 01:00:09,480
Speaker 2: knowing that you are a priority in their life is

1282
01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:14,080
Speaker 2: such a big thing. And yeah, the other the basics trust, honesty, loyalty,

1283
01:00:14,440 --> 01:00:18,360
Speaker 2: and clear communication is huge. I think it's really underestimated

1284
01:00:18,440 --> 01:00:21,120
Speaker 2: how many people don't communicate openly with their partner. But

1285
01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:23,520
Speaker 2: being able to have that safe space, being able to

1286
01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:26,080
Speaker 2: say anything, being able to raise something without fear of

1287
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:28,800
Speaker 2: judgment or turning into an argument is a huge thing.

1288
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:32,840
Speaker 1: M I love that so much, Tia, this has just

1289
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:36,680
Speaker 1: been such an incredible conversation. You're such a wealth of knowledge,

1290
01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:40,160
Speaker 1: like just rattling all this stuff off. Guys, this book

1291
01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:43,680
Speaker 1: is incredible. If you loved this. You have to check

1292
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:46,520
Speaker 1: it out. But Tia, of course, to finish, I've just

1293
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:50,200
Speaker 1: got two questions that we ask everyone. What is the

1294
01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:52,400
Speaker 1: best advice you've ever been given?

1295
01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:56,360
Speaker 2: Well, I've got two I couldn't narrow. One's about overthinking

1296
01:00:56,400 --> 01:00:59,360
Speaker 2: and one's about imposter syndrome. So, in terms of overthinking,

1297
01:00:59,520 --> 01:01:02,120
Speaker 2: someone said to me, don't believe everything that you think.

1298
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:06,040
Speaker 2: Oh love that, And I think that is so important

1299
01:01:06,040 --> 01:01:08,320
Speaker 2: because we always have all these negative thoughts in our heads,

1300
01:01:08,360 --> 01:01:10,880
Speaker 2: all these things saying you can't do this, you're too dumb,

1301
01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:13,600
Speaker 2: you're too like, you could never do that, And don't

1302
01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:16,640
Speaker 2: believe all those thoughts that you think. So that's number one.

1303
01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:20,040
Speaker 2: And in terms of imposter syndrome, if you weren't ready

1304
01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:21,800
Speaker 2: for it, you wouldn't have the opportunity.

1305
01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:27,280
Speaker 1: Oh, oh my god, I love that. So last question,

1306
01:01:28,080 --> 01:01:31,400
Speaker 1: what is one core belief you hold close to your heart?

1307
01:01:31,560 --> 01:01:33,000
Speaker 2: And I think you're gonna love this one as well.

1308
01:01:33,240 --> 01:01:35,120
Speaker 2: It's never too late to change your path.

1309
01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:37,760
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I love that.

1310
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:40,040
Speaker 2: And we actually I just posted something on TikTok the

1311
01:01:40,080 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 2: other day talking about how someone asked me in a

1312
01:01:42,480 --> 01:01:44,480
Speaker 2: Q and A the other week and they said I'm

1313
01:01:44,520 --> 01:01:46,360
Speaker 2: twenty eight. I want to go back to study, but

1314
01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:48,520
Speaker 2: I'm scared, I'm too old. I'm scared it's too late.

1315
01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:50,880
Speaker 2: And I said to them, let's say your degree is

1316
01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:52,680
Speaker 2: going to take four years. You're either going to be

1317
01:01:52,880 --> 01:01:55,160
Speaker 2: thirty two in four years in a new field with

1318
01:01:55,280 --> 01:01:57,360
Speaker 2: a degree that you love, or you're still going to

1319
01:01:57,400 --> 01:01:59,560
Speaker 2: be thirty two still wondering if you should make that move.

1320
01:02:00,160 --> 01:02:02,440
Speaker 2: So the time's going to pass regardless, Like, don't let

1321
01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:05,640
Speaker 2: that stop you from changing your path. And life is long,

1322
01:02:05,760 --> 01:02:08,600
Speaker 2: like we can have so many multiple iterations of ourselves,

1323
01:02:08,720 --> 01:02:11,160
Speaker 2: like never be too scared to change your path. You

1324
01:02:11,240 --> 01:02:12,920
Speaker 2: can completely reinvent yourself.

1325
01:02:13,040 --> 01:02:15,480
Speaker 1: So yeah, I love that so much. And that's even

1326
01:02:15,560 --> 01:02:17,560
Speaker 1: I've been thinking about this a lot, and I even

1327
01:02:17,560 --> 01:02:20,040
Speaker 1: said on my podcast the other day, like I truly

1328
01:02:20,200 --> 01:02:23,040
Speaker 1: hope that you listen to old episodes and I can

1329
01:02:23,360 --> 01:02:27,040
Speaker 1: like contradict myself because I hope I've grown exactly. I

1330
01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:30,360
Speaker 1: hope I've changed, you know, And I think, listen back

1331
01:02:30,360 --> 01:02:33,360
Speaker 1: to old episodes, you're like Leach, I will I would

1332
01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:37,800
Speaker 1: not dare, but it's like, I really hope you see

1333
01:02:37,920 --> 01:02:41,000
Speaker 1: me evolving. Imagine if I was just the same person

1334
01:02:41,080 --> 01:02:44,520
Speaker 1: who had the same beliefs her whole life, like, no,

1335
01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:47,120
Speaker 1: we're not doing that. I get to change, evolve, and

1336
01:02:47,440 --> 01:02:49,680
Speaker 1: I think that's incredible and don't be scared of it,

1337
01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:51,440
Speaker 1: like to embrace it.

1338
01:02:51,720 --> 01:02:51,919
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1339
01:02:52,520 --> 01:02:55,080
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you so much for coming on the show.

1340
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:58,160
Speaker 1: Weaving me of course, and we will leave all the

1341
01:02:58,240 --> 01:03:01,160
Speaker 1: links to your book and your social medias and all

1342
01:03:01,200 --> 01:03:03,560
Speaker 1: the things in the show notes guys, so go and

1343
01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:05,920
Speaker 1: check it out. But what an incredible hotline. Thank you,

1344
01:03:06,280 --> 01:03:11,840
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you so much for listening to another

1345
01:03:11,960 --> 01:03:15,560
Speaker 1: episode of the Rise and Conker Podcast. If you enjoyed

1346
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:18,640
Speaker 1: it and want more, come connect with us on Instagram

1347
01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:23,919
Speaker 1: at Risinconquer dot podcast and join our Facebook discussion group,

1348
01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:28,200
Speaker 1: a Rise and Concer podcast community. We're an independent podcast

1349
01:03:28,320 --> 01:03:30,800
Speaker 1: and we have a small team, so we do appreciate

1350
01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:33,560
Speaker 1: your time and support. If you have a spare moment,

1351
01:03:33,680 --> 01:03:37,680
Speaker 1: a follow or subscribe on whatever platform you listen to

1352
01:03:37,880 --> 01:03:42,120
Speaker 1: would be so amazing, And look, if you're feeling extra kind,

1353
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:45,200
Speaker 1: a review on Apple Podcasts would be great.