Speaker 1: I'm not ready about that. Hey you guys, and welcome
Speaker 1: back to another episode of Life on Pat. I'm Brittany
Speaker 1: and I'm Laura, and we are pumped to be here.
Speaker 1: I am trying to live. And Laura up. She's in
Speaker 1: a pajama, she's got a robot. Actually, let me talk
Speaker 1: through it. She's got like this button up denim country
Speaker 1: like farmer wants a wife shirt from cottona on. That's
Speaker 1: what I water work today. But then she's draped like
Speaker 1: a really old, big fluffy dressing gown over the top.
Speaker 1: She then has like Harry high pants pajamas on finnel
Speaker 1: penama and she's tucked to the denim into the pajama bottom.
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on. Well, I feel fucking
Speaker 1: the trade. It's so funny because we used to like
Speaker 1: really try when we turned up to these podcasts.
Speaker 2: I used to get dressed. We used to go to
Speaker 2: a studio. It used to be really profreshed.
Speaker 1: I have a wine, have a glass of wine. It
Speaker 1: was like going to a job. And now you come
Speaker 1: over and we record at nighttime and I'm in my
Speaker 1: pajamas and I'm having a cup of tea. What do
Speaker 1: you want to talk about the new postcode that appeared
Speaker 1: on my face. Oh but you want to talk about that?
Speaker 1: You want to talk about your little pimple. What it's like.
Speaker 1: You know, when there's something, it's like the elephant in
Speaker 1: the room. I just want to bring it up before
Speaker 1: you bring it up. I know you're gonna call me
Speaker 1: out on it. I'm like, how's your day. You're like,
Speaker 1: I've got a pimple. I've got a pimple. Why are
Speaker 1: you looking at it all the time? What's wrong with you?
Speaker 1: I do have an eruption on my face, guys. I
Speaker 1: think it was from my stressful week last week. Usually
Speaker 1: my skin's pretty decent. Anyway, I've got like this huge
Speaker 1: new island that's appeared on my face. Usually I try
Speaker 1: and hide it. Like Laura said, we used to turn
Speaker 1: up to these and like try almost such trying impress
Speaker 1: each other and be cute and professional, and now we
Speaker 1: just let ourselves go. Well.
Speaker 2: One, the good thing about podcast is that no one
Speaker 2: would have known that you had a pimple on your
Speaker 2: face until you just declared that to the world. So
Speaker 2: you're welcome. And two, it's kind of like dating. Like
Speaker 2: when we first started this, podcast. We didn't really know
Speaker 2: each other that well, and now over for the mum.
Speaker 1: That's true. We kind of slipped down this slippery slope
Speaker 1: and now it's the real the honeymoon phase is over.
Speaker 1: This is the real meat. Yeah. I used to turn
Speaker 1: up and like make up really cute clothes at the start,
Speaker 1: and I just have to think, like, I need her
Speaker 1: to know that this is still a good idea, and
Speaker 1: I need her to know that, like I'm fashion, I'm fun,
Speaker 1: I'm cool, I'm friendly, and now I just like barely
Speaker 1: if we put on clothes and turn up to the podcast,
Speaker 1: we're really overachieving. But we say this guys, but we
Speaker 1: still take this podcast very very seriously. Just not our attire,
Speaker 1: that's all. Okay, So what have you done this week?
Speaker 1: What can you bring to the table? Not a lot,
Speaker 1: but I can tell you something that I learned, oh,
Speaker 1: which I think is going to blow some people's minds
Speaker 1: out there. Oh hit me, I'm ready for it.
Speaker 2: This is probably only going to relate to a very
Speaker 2: small number of people who actually listen to this podcast.
Speaker 2: If you have a child, you will be aware of
Speaker 2: the TV show Bluey, which is like an Australian cartoon.
Speaker 2: There's two little dogs who you know, Bluey and Bingo?
Speaker 1: Blue is a girl? What? Blueie is a freaking girl? No?
Speaker 1: Where did you learn that? That was your mind? Blue Blue?
Speaker 1: Blue's a boy? Blue is a boy's name.
Speaker 2: Yes, they're trying to challenge gender norms and stereotypes. So
Speaker 2: I found out yesterday when I watched about seventeen episodes
Speaker 2: back to back and Blue called her.
Speaker 1: Grandma and her grandma was like, hey, girls, nice to
Speaker 1: see you. And I was like, but literally my brain exploded.
Speaker 1: And then I found myself googling is Bluey a girl?
Speaker 1: And there you go. Google that shit. I will take
Speaker 1: that to the bank because Blue is a girl. Do
Speaker 1: you know what was funny was Matt putt On on
Speaker 1: his story the other day. Hey, I've been watching Blue
Speaker 1: for the last forty five minutes before I realized Marley's
Speaker 1: been a way for an hour. We do it every night.
Speaker 2: I think that most parents do, Like you end up
Speaker 2: watching and it's bad, Like I know that we shouldn't
Speaker 2: put Marley in front of the TV, but sometimes it's
Speaker 2: like the second babysitter that you need in the day
Speaker 2: just to get stuff done, and then you put them
Speaker 2: down for a nap and you realize the whole nap
Speaker 2: time has passed and.
Speaker 1: You're still watching the fucking Wiggles. Hey, you know what,
Speaker 1: I want to add something to this. You know who
Speaker 1: I hate who? Pepper Pig look hates a strong word.
Speaker 1: Pepper Pig is a little bitch. She's a little little
Speaker 1: I was about to say she's a little pig, said
Speaker 1: hate is a strong word, but then you went on
Speaker 1: to call Pepper Pig, like an innocent children's cartoon, a
Speaker 1: little bitch. I okay, so I don't use the term lightly. Guys.
Speaker 1: I baby sat my niece and nephew and Pixy and Ednie.
Speaker 1: They're obsessed with Pepper Pig like every single child. And
Speaker 1: it was the first time I was watching it, and
Speaker 1: I was sitting there gobsmack. I had to pick my
Speaker 1: draw up off the ground. She was a little bitch
Speaker 1: to her mom, the way she was speaking to her mom.
Speaker 1: She hung up on the phone on her mum. She
Speaker 1: treats her parents like dirt. She is really mean to
Speaker 1: her friends. Like I don't know. I mean, I haven't
Speaker 1: sat down and watched the whole series. I've only seen
Speaker 1: a few episodes. I reckon that she's probably just behaving
Speaker 1: like most children do. Children and like challenge their parents,
Speaker 1: And why do you think they do that? Because they're
Speaker 1: watching Pepper Pick. This is the problem raising our children
Speaker 1: by a TV. I turned it off and I was like,
Speaker 1: you can go outside and play. You'll never watch you
Speaker 1: would never. I just couldn't believe it, Like God, we
Speaker 1: are up watching like Bambi and things like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and having Barbie dolls that had absolutely no vaginas
Speaker 2: and really being confused about her identity and.
Speaker 1: They used to try and have sex and stuff on today. No,
Speaker 1: I didn't make my Barbie dollars anyway. What the hell
Speaker 1: has been happening in your week? That was a weird tangent. Well,
Speaker 1: I've had a few little hiccups this week. Number one
Speaker 1: just like to continue Britney's moving fiasco, and everything that
Speaker 1: could go wrong went wrong. I spent the whole night
Speaker 1: because it was Sunday night last night, so I couldn't
Speaker 1: call you one in my toilet broke.
Speaker 2: Oh, I know you facetimed me and I got to
Speaker 2: watch you live in action with a hand down a
Speaker 2: dunny Britt. She only had one glove, so she had
Speaker 2: one glove on up to her elbow and was fishing
Speaker 2: around a dunny with me on FaceTime, thinking I'm going
Speaker 2: to be some sort of help.
Speaker 1: Can I just I just want to clarify that my
Speaker 1: hand was in the clean part, like the cistern at
Speaker 1: the top. It wasn't in the pooh toilets around anyway.
Speaker 1: It's a face on Laura Life. Put one hand down
Speaker 1: in the dunny can and I'm like, Laura, I'm talking
Speaker 1: her through this problem, and I'm like, this is the problem, thinking,
Speaker 1: you know, she's been through life, she's had experience, she's
Speaker 1: got a family, surely she has some advice, and only
Speaker 1: this girl knows a way around a toilet. Well, there's
Speaker 1: your first mistake, Brittany. She literally just looked at me
Speaker 1: and was like, I don't know what to do, and
Speaker 1: then proceeded to ignore me the whole time and just
Speaker 1: be like, look how pretty my child is. I'm like, Laura,
Speaker 1: my hand is down in the dunny can. I'm not
Speaker 1: looking at how pretty good child is right now. But yes,
Speaker 1: she's beautiful. Oh my god.
Speaker 2: This is why people don't want to be friends with
Speaker 2: someone who's got a kid. This is why there's why
Speaker 2: adults who have to Ldred end up losing all of
Speaker 2: their friends who don't have kids because I'm so obsessed
Speaker 2: with Marley.
Speaker 1: It's sick. Every time brit calls, I end up putting
Speaker 1: Marley on FaceTime. Pritt doesn't want to talk to my kids.
Speaker 1: I actually, I'm like, look at how beautiful my daughter is.
Speaker 1: It's sick. I have a sick problem, guys. I actually
Speaker 1: have to say to her all the time. I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: princess angel face, and I'm like, Laura focused, get back
Speaker 1: on the phone. I'm like, I'm usually running around in
Speaker 1: an emergency department. I've got ten minutes to talk to Laura.
Speaker 1: She's like, look at my angel. I'm pretty sure this
Speaker 1: is how you raise a narcissistic child, just by continuously
Speaker 1: telling them how beautiful they are and making all your
Speaker 1: friends affirm that. Other than that, I something funny did happen.
Speaker 1: I went back to boxing this week. I've had a
Speaker 1: bit of a la bit of downtime, and I thought
Speaker 1: I need to get back into gear. Went back to boxing,
Speaker 1: walked in the door and guess who I saw? Laura. Actually,
Speaker 1: you're not gonna ever guess it. Who is someone from
Speaker 1: my dating story past. Oh I miss your dating story past.
Speaker 1: So if you guys meat raffle, no, that would be
Speaker 1: meaty though it wasn't. It wasn't me. You get one
Speaker 1: more guess like the funniest o g date story. I
Speaker 1: can't I can't even remember wait wait this guy. Wait.
Speaker 1: So for anyone who's been listening from the very beginning,
Speaker 1: you will remember this guy. But for anyone who doesn't know,
Speaker 1: who's just come on board. Was Britt was like she
Speaker 1: met this guy at a party, had like the best time,
Speaker 1: thought she was in love with him, and then told
Speaker 1: in love, I thought he was a gentleman. On the
Speaker 1: walk home to her apartment, he was like, I really
Speaker 1: want you to sit on my face. He was a
Speaker 1: real gentleman, really lovely. He's like, can I carry a
Speaker 1: bag and walk you home? And I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, my great men do exist. We've been talking
Speaker 1: for about three hours. We were almost home and he
Speaker 1: just was silent and then he just turns to me
Speaker 1: and says, I just really want you to sit on
Speaker 1: my face. That is what he said. Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 1: If you want to hear my reaction, you're gonna have
Speaker 1: to get back to the start and listen, it's a
Speaker 1: whole story. Anyway, I walked in and smack bang. I
Speaker 1: haven't seen some in my face guy since he asked
Speaker 1: me to sit in his face. He's like, that's a
Speaker 1: face I remember. That's like a good seat. Should I
Speaker 1: try again? Because it's end of financial you sale time,
Speaker 1: maybe I can have her this time? What what the fuck?
Speaker 1: That was so bad? I might even edit that out.
Speaker 1: That was way better in my head. Anyway, we just
Speaker 1: looked at each other, and I think we pretended that
Speaker 1: we didn't look at each other and just like scurried
Speaker 1: across the room and then scurried out at the end,
Speaker 1: and we never said anything. So I think we're both
Speaker 1: pretending that we haven't seen each other.
Speaker 2: That's a good way to deal with your trauma. Just
Speaker 2: pretend that it doesn't exist. I would highly recommend well.
Speaker 1: I have also had this moment where I was like,
Speaker 1: maybe he doesn't remember me? He would do you not
Speaker 1: remember me?
Speaker 2: Also, I'm just gonna put it out there. I'm so
Speaker 2: excited that Bachelor Paradise starts in two weeks because that
Speaker 2: means that in four weeks after that, I will have
Speaker 2: the old Britney back, and you will be able to
Speaker 2: talk about your life and whether or not you're dating
Speaker 2: or not dating, or what's happening. We will be able
Speaker 2: to have some of the real life substance back in here.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. It has been a long walk
Speaker 1: in the desert, Laura. It's been a bloody long time,
Speaker 1: hasn't it. Oh, mate, not that I'm counting seven months,
Speaker 1: three weeks and two days. The lady is dry everyone
Speaker 1: and moving right along.
Speaker 2: The one thing I have done this weekend, which was
Speaker 2: like a real surprise, was yeah, look I showered.
Speaker 1: I've taken care of myself. I'm trying to was okay,
Speaker 1: So no, perhaps don't care about me anymore. Like I'm boring,
Speaker 1: I'm old news. I'm so far down the d list
Speaker 1: ranking of celebrities that it's like I walk past paparazzis
Speaker 1: and they're taking photos of other people. Now I'm like, look,
Speaker 1: there's a pap And then I'm like, oh, look there's
Speaker 1: someone actually famous. That's where we're at in my life,
Speaker 1: which is great, and it makes me so happy that
Speaker 1: I can leave the house without makeup on or fake
Speaker 1: ten or have to even worry about my hair. I
Speaker 1: just don't care. My life is very normal and I
Speaker 1: love every single bit of my normal life. Yesterday I
Speaker 1: went for a walk down Bondi with Brittany.
Speaker 2: I had no makeup on and looked like shit, fully
Speaker 2: embracing it next to Brittany, who looked immaculate with her
Speaker 2: full face of makeup, and lo and behold, who the
Speaker 2: fuck is there, mister paparazzi taking photos?
Speaker 1: Can I just say, a you looked great? Be he
Speaker 1: was probably photographing you and I got in the way. See,
Speaker 1: the whole article was about you. He was photographing you, Brittany,
Speaker 1: do not prime play coy in this. My favorite part
Speaker 1: of the whole article was that he said Brittany looked
Speaker 1: fresh faced with no makeup. I was like, yeah. I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, tell everyone that's my fresh face. I
Speaker 1: had a full face on and Laura looks like she's
Speaker 1: dying from some sort of terminal illness. I was like,
Speaker 1: I was like, bless your soul, mister paparazzi, you tell
Speaker 1: everyone I'm fresh face. Also, do you know what happened
Speaker 1: yesterday on our walk? Like and this happens from time
Speaker 1: to time, and honestly, guys, it's the best thing.
Speaker 2: It's just it gives us, it feels us with so
Speaker 2: much joy. We were walking and a girl came up
Speaker 2: to us and was like, oh my god, I listened
Speaker 2: to the podcast. Not I've seen you on The Bachelor
Speaker 2: or any of that, just like I love your podcast.
Speaker 2: So please, if you do see us in public and
Speaker 2: you think, oh god, like, can I go up and
Speaker 2: tell them that I listened to their podcast, I just
Speaker 2: want you to know that, like, we fan girl, you
Speaker 2: way more than you fangirl us because it makes that
Speaker 2: absolute day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we were stoked. She nearly gave us a heart attack.
Speaker 1: She literally like jumped out of nowhere. But we were stoked.
Speaker 2: But it's so nice, Like this is the reason why
Speaker 2: we make this podcast. We love that there are so
Speaker 2: many of you out there who were listening to it,
Speaker 2: who are getting something from it, who feel empowered by
Speaker 2: the content that we're putting out.
Speaker 1: I guess to be associated with something that women are
Speaker 1: saying gets them through hard times and that makes them
Speaker 1: laugh and makes them feel good and empowered. That makes
Speaker 1: us feel so happy. Yes, so please come tell us.
Speaker 1: We need the confidence boost, I need the ego stroking.
Speaker 1: I do want to ask you something So I was
Speaker 1: at a friend's house this week, a guy friend, but
Speaker 1: like literally a friend. Guys. I've told you before, I
Speaker 1: have a lot of male friends. I got given I
Speaker 1: got sent some like lollies or something a little while ago,
Speaker 1: and I didn't like them. So I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm going to his house. I'll he'll eat them. I'll
Speaker 1: take them over. And I was like, Hey, do you
Speaker 1: want these lollies? And he's like, oh, brilliant, I'll put
Speaker 1: them in my chick drawer. Opened up this cupboard draw
Speaker 1: and there was a draw full of stuff that I'd
Speaker 1: never seen. And I was like, what's the what do
Speaker 1: you mean the chick draw And he's like, I've got
Speaker 1: a chick draw And I'm like, what's the chick draw
Speaker 1: And he's like, oh, it's an emergency drawer for like
Speaker 1: when I bring chick over, I pull out the chick
Speaker 1: draw so she thinks I've always got really good stuff
Speaker 1: on hand. I was like, what's in there? There was
Speaker 1: like really high end, like all the really good biscuits
Speaker 1: that are filled with dates. There was like really good wines, champagnes, lollies, crisps.
Speaker 1: It was like an emergency chick draw this guy sounds
Speaker 1: like the nicest man to have a chick draw. I
Speaker 1: feel like most normal guys would have a drawer full
Speaker 1: of lube and handcuffs. Well, I think they were at
Speaker 1: the back of the drawer, like behind the cleaner oil.
Speaker 1: He's like, here's my champagne and there's my condoms. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I thought that was funny because I don't have that.
Speaker 1: I wonder if any women have a man draw, like
Speaker 1: an emergency drawer of wheen, Like I have a draw.
Speaker 1: I have a cupboard that's like in case a friend
Speaker 1: pops over, I've got a bag of crisps. But I
Speaker 1: don't have like it. That's just called a pantry. Britty, Oh,
Speaker 1: that was actually funny. Thanks thanks the affirmation. That was funny.
Speaker 1: Ye okay, So I have a pantry where I keep
Speaker 1: things in case people come around. No, but this same guy.
Speaker 1: So we started talking about it, and I started talking
Speaker 1: about who's been dating and stuff, and he told me
Speaker 1: about a girl that he went on a day with. Anyway,
Speaker 1: how do you feel about this? He takes every single
Speaker 1: first date ever for years. He takes them to the
Speaker 1: same place, the same restaurant, the same table. All the
Speaker 1: waiters know him, everyone knows him. What do you think
Speaker 1: about that? We actually had a person ride in who
Speaker 1: had this experience. I think it's so so weird.
Speaker 2: I think if I was the date and I found
Speaker 2: out that it would make me feel very unspecial. Like
Speaker 2: they put no thought, no energy, no effort into it
Speaker 2: at all. They've just kind of cub and copied, colored
Speaker 2: by numbers. They're dates.
Speaker 1: But I guess if he's onto a good thing and
Speaker 1: he knows that the service is good, there's no room
Speaker 1: for error. It's easy. Yeah, this is what he says.
Speaker 1: It's just first date, like just the first date. He
Speaker 1: doesn't go there. He doesn't like, No, because I think
Speaker 1: he has the same second date place as well. No, Yeah,
Speaker 1: because it's weird, because he says, because he dates so much.
Speaker 1: He's like, I know it's good. I know where it is,
Speaker 1: and I how long it takes to get there. I
Speaker 1: know the food, what the food's like, you know what
Speaker 1: the service is like, I know she's going to enjoy it.
Speaker 1: He's like, it's just easy. I don't have to think.
Speaker 1: I don't have to do it, and I sort of
Speaker 1: get it.
Speaker 2: I kind of like that he is doing this and
Speaker 2: it kind of is like a science experiment at school
Speaker 2: where you have a control. So, like the restaurant, everything
Speaker 2: is the control. So the only thing that differs is
Speaker 2: the dates. If the date's really great, He's.
Speaker 1: Like, well, this is an outlier exact great date, because
Speaker 1: it couldn't be the com like, it couldn't be the
Speaker 1: atmosphere or the environment or any it just has to
Speaker 1: be the chick. She's the only new variable in this experiment.
Speaker 1: So at the start when he told me, I was laughing,
Speaker 1: and I was sort of like tearing him a new one.
Speaker 1: I'm like, come on, dude, get some creativity, like take
Speaker 1: him somewhere else. And even for his own sake, I
Speaker 1: was like, you're probably going there three times a week.
Speaker 1: You look a bit like a creep from everyone. But
Speaker 1: then the more he explained it, I was like, it
Speaker 1: actually sort of makes sense. You know what's good, you
Speaker 1: know what it's going to be like, and you know
Speaker 1: you're probably gonna get a home run.
Speaker 2: So we had someone write in a very similar story. Basically,
Speaker 2: she had gone out on a date and she'd been
Speaker 2: talking to this guy through isolation and anyway, they finally
Speaker 2: had their first date and it was at a new
Speaker 2: bar that she'd never been to before, and they had
Speaker 2: an amazing date. And then the next night she was
Speaker 2: out with her girlfriends and she was like, oh, I
Speaker 2: went to this really cool new bar, Like, let's go there.
Speaker 2: And so she went with her girlfriends to the same
Speaker 2: bar that she was at the night before with the
Speaker 2: guy rocks up and.
Speaker 1: He's there on a fucking date with a new chick.
Speaker 1: But he owned it and he came up and was like, yeah, look,
Speaker 1: our date was actually better. You're like, just so you know,
Speaker 1: all right, well, how haven't we get onto some real life,
Speaker 1: accidentally unfiltereds. I'm down for it. You know that this
Speaker 1: is our favorite part of the episode. Every single week,
Speaker 1: we bring you your most embarrassing stories and we laugh
Speaker 1: at you together. You want to go first? All right, guys,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna summarize this one because it's been written in
Speaker 1: and it's kind of long, but anyway, it's funny, it's good,
Speaker 1: it's a goodie. This girl she was waiting at the
Speaker 1: bus stop for the bus to come along and she
Speaker 1: gets on the bus. Okay, so she gets she gets
Speaker 1: on a bus. In this story, she gets on the
Speaker 1: bus and she sits down and she's listened to some
Speaker 1: music and she's just having a nice quiet ride on
Speaker 1: the bus to work. Anyway, a little bit of time
Speaker 1: passes and then she realizes that she needs to fart.
Speaker 1: She's like, oh my god, how am I gonna do this?
Speaker 1: Like very urgent, a very urgent need to fart. She's like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's fine, I'll just let the fart out in time
Speaker 1: with the music. So with the oh so like the
Speaker 1: music covers it, so the music can hide the fart.
Speaker 1: So she's like.
Speaker 2: That, I don't know what something that was, but you
Speaker 2: get what I'm saying. Anyway, She's like, it was perfect.
Speaker 2: I managed to.
Speaker 1: Get my whole fart out. She tuned to the song.
Speaker 1: No one noticed until I realized I was wearing fucking headphones.
Speaker 1: So she just to everyone around your slight. She's just going, damn, oh,
Speaker 1: she just totally forgot she had headphones in thought. She
Speaker 1: was listening to the music on the bars and farted
Speaker 1: in time to the music.
Speaker 2: My headphones is so funny. It's so bad. This is
Speaker 2: what isolation does to you. People you don't know how
Speaker 2: to function in normal life, Like, oh my god, could
Speaker 2: you imagine I had this feeling I don't know if
Speaker 2: anybody else's experienced this.
Speaker 1: You're gonna think I'm disgusting for it. You're gonna think
Speaker 1: I'm discussing too. I always do. I had this real
Speaker 1: fear after isolation happened that I was like, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have to tell myself I can't fart at work anymore,
Speaker 1: because like when you're at home, it's fart all the time.
Speaker 1: No one cares. Burp, pier fart here like whatever. We're
Speaker 1: very drop some birds. We're like, we're so deep in
Speaker 1: our relationship. There's like we Matt and I fart all
Speaker 1: the time in front of each other. We don't care. Okay,
Speaker 1: see I wouldn't. I'm not fine whatever, Like we just
Speaker 1: don't care. Isn't that funny?
Speaker 2: And we still love each other, guys, the romance is
Speaker 2: still alive, alive and kicking anywhe's there. Sometimes I'm very
Speaker 2: tired and have a headache, but yeah, I got to
Speaker 2: work this one day and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna really have to be conscious about this.
Speaker 1: This is four months of like patent behavior that I
Speaker 1: have to break. And you know what they say, four
Speaker 1: months and you've got yourself a habit Okay, so what
Speaker 1: can we take from that? Laura has a fighting habit, great,
Speaker 1: they're happy for you can't wait for daily mails? Right
Speaker 1: article about it. I'm not a whiz popper in front
Speaker 1: of my partner. We can't even say the word fart
Speaker 1: because do you know what to do? Growing up in
Speaker 1: my family, we weren't allowed to swear. We went on
Speaker 1: to do anything, but fart was classified by my mother
Speaker 1: as like a no go zone. It was it was
Speaker 1: almost like a swear word. We weren't like to say it.
Speaker 1: So now I think when you spend your whole life
Speaker 1: being told you can't do something, it's I feel like
Speaker 1: if I say it now, like I still say, I
Speaker 1: look far far far fat, you're like tying aunt. My
Speaker 1: mom's gonna listen to this podcast. Sorry, I'm but I
Speaker 1: she My mum and dad have never passed wind. I'm
Speaker 1: sure they have in front of each other.
Speaker 2: No people say this, but they have only fun in
Speaker 2: your sleep sometimes.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, obviously it's uncontrollable when you're unconscious. Laura, you
Speaker 1: re La, and I think that that's what I would
Speaker 1: be like. I don't think i'd be mortified if I
Speaker 1: did a wiz pop on someone.
Speaker 2: We don't do it on each other. Jesus Christ. Look,
Speaker 2: I know this is a very polarizing topic. I know
Speaker 2: that some people are extremely comfortable with finding in front
Speaker 2: of their partners. I know that some people are like,
Speaker 2: that is not okay. That's bathroom stuff and you keep
Speaker 2: it in the bathroom or in your pants, but or
Speaker 2: in your butt.
Speaker 1: Or in your butt. But but uh yeah, look, we're
Speaker 1: fine with it, so okay that story. Speaking of day Mail, though, guys,
Speaker 1: I know that I make jokes about this every single
Speaker 1: week about how every time we make a joke or
Speaker 1: we say something in jest, it ends up getting picked
Speaker 1: up by Daily Mail. But if you're following our Instagram page,
Speaker 1: which is lifeluin Cut podcast, how's that go? And do
Speaker 1: it if you're not.
Speaker 2: We did post this week that Daily Mail had written
Speaker 2: article based off our last Ask Uncut, where we answered
Speaker 2: our listener letter, which was asking about whether or not
Speaker 2: she should have a threesome because when she doesn't want to, yeah,
Speaker 2: because her partner wants to, she doesn't want to, And
Speaker 2: our advice was very much like, no, you don't do
Speaker 2: anything that you don't want to do in a relationship.
Speaker 2: But according to Daily Mail. We were giving some great
Speaker 2: advice on how to have a three sir.
Speaker 1: So Laura and I haven't had threesomes. The advice was
Speaker 1: not us. Oh, Laura's looking and I was like, we
Speaker 1: haven't have you no, never, never, I'm so boring. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so Laura and I haven't had three sims. The advice
Speaker 1: we were giving was not on advice like we had
Speaker 1: done it and this is how to do it, like
Speaker 1: we here some techniques and that is what ball one
Speaker 1: in mouth. Don't say that because now they're gonna take
Speaker 1: that quote. No, it was actually a really disappointing article.
Speaker 1: Usually we laugh at them, but to put a headline
Speaker 1: out saying Brittany and Laura give threesome advice, that was
Speaker 1: really disappointing. And it's really shitty on their behalf because
Speaker 1: that is completely completely unrelated to the article. It had
Speaker 1: nothing to do with the article or the question all
Speaker 1: the advice we gave.
Speaker 2: It's just really misleading. But like I mean, I guess
Speaker 2: there's we make jokes about it because it constantly happens.
Speaker 2: And the reason why I wanted to say this is
Speaker 2: because I think we're all guilty of it. Sometimes when
Speaker 2: we see an article and the headline is very clickbait,
Speaker 2: and the headline may say something that's very controversial, and
Speaker 2: we kind of sometimes had the tendency of not reading
Speaker 2: an actual article, and we can we can take headlines.
Speaker 1: As valid truths.
Speaker 2: And so this is just a reminder to check yourself
Speaker 2: if you ever find yourself reading those sorts of like
Speaker 2: New Ideas or the you know, the rag trade media
Speaker 2: and thinking that what's written there is yeah, yeah, or
Speaker 2: gospel or Bible whichever tomato tomato, because yeah, you know,
Speaker 2: I mean you listen to the podcast, you know what
Speaker 2: the truth is.
Speaker 1: Anyway.
Speaker 2: Anyway, that's my little side versation, Brittany, give us your
Speaker 2: accidentally unfiltered.
Speaker 1: So I've been seeing this guy for every year and
Speaker 1: things were going really great. It was my first real relationship.
Speaker 1: I had made a really conscious decision to be a
Speaker 1: lady in front of him, with no active bodily functions.
Speaker 1: It was going really well. One night, sitting on the
Speaker 1: sofa all flirty and cute like, we started a tickle fight.
Speaker 1: We were little tickle monsters. I quickly realized. I quickly
Speaker 1: realized that it needed to stop, as I was at
Speaker 1: risk of a wiz pop. I asked him to stop.
Speaker 1: He continued, I pleaded, he continued. I begged. He continued
Speaker 1: with that I let out the dreaded fart, not a
Speaker 1: cute little puff of air one, not one that you
Speaker 1: can get away with, by the biggest one I have
Speaker 1: ever done, no joke in last year, seven hardcore seconds.
Speaker 1: He flew back from me, clearly shocked by the noise
Speaker 1: that had just erupted from my behind. And then I
Speaker 1: laughed and I laughed, and I laughed so hard that
Speaker 1: I pissed my pants in front of him. It was
Speaker 1: a real moment, and I ran away and I didn't
Speaker 1: know what to do. But it's so good to find
Speaker 1: our relationship and it conferred to me as my penguin
Speaker 1: because eleven years later we are married with two kids.
Speaker 1: Loll fucking cano. Oh my god, Ah, it just gets
Speaker 1: better and better. I love so much about this one.
Speaker 1: I love that we both chose fart topics for today
Speaker 1: and we didn't even know that we're doing that. And secondly,
Speaker 1: it's just I love that she was laughing so much
Speaker 1: at her own misfortune that she wet her pants. She
Speaker 1: was a double wummy. Oh. Secondly, secondly, guys, this is
Speaker 1: just proof that you have a deeper form of connection
Speaker 1: with someone if you fart in front of them. Maybe
Speaker 1: that's where I'm going wrong. All right, on that note,
Speaker 1: that was all a lot. Let's get into today's topic.
Speaker 1: We're right, you've listened to about twenty five minutes of
Speaker 1: this podcast and still don't know what we're talking about.
Speaker 1: Today's surprise. Okay, that's the third time you've done xile me.
Speaker 1: Now I'm removing it. You're in the wrong genre. Don't
Speaker 1: do Is that better? I don't know what you're trying
Speaker 1: to do? That's NCIS. I listened. I watched so much
Speaker 1: n CIS I watch viewing is comparable to my belue
Speaker 1: re viewing, and I know a lot about both of them.
Speaker 1: So why I still don't understand why you do NCIS
Speaker 1: music Because the suspense is building about podcast that's not true.
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to do a true crime podcast. Guys.
Speaker 1: Here we are Okay, guys, today's culture is so obsessed
Speaker 1: with looking and acting young, and we want to talk
Speaker 1: about a topic that we think is really important to
Speaker 1: women and men, but especially our youth, and that is
Speaker 1: body dysmorphia. Have you heard of it, Laura, Yes, that's
Speaker 1: why we're talking about it. The real problem if I
Speaker 1: hadn't Wow, So it was a rhetorical question, bring the goods, Brittany,
Speaker 1: give us the intro. Body dysmorphia syndrome or BDS is
Speaker 1: also known as and it's something that affects a lot
Speaker 1: of people, and that's why we wanted to delve into it.
Speaker 1: And I think it's because we sort of a bombarded
Speaker 1: daily with images via magazines and billboards and the TV
Speaker 1: and the Internet, and it's all about what the person
Speaker 1: looks like. It's all about they seem beautiful and they
Speaker 1: seem perfect. And I think that really creates some issues
Speaker 1: in young people thinking that they think to be successful
Speaker 1: they need to be beautiful. They think to be successful
Speaker 1: they need to be perfect, and they need to look
Speaker 1: a certain way. They need to look like the model
Speaker 1: and they need to look like the TV presenter. And
Speaker 1: I think that really plans this deep seated issue in
Speaker 1: a lot of people.
Speaker 2: So for those of you who don't know what body
Speaker 2: dysmorphia is, it is basically this obsession with the way
Speaker 2: that you look, which may not actually relate to what's
Speaker 2: happening in real life. So, for example, people who have
Speaker 2: this illness, constantly worry about the way they look, they
Speaker 2: believe and inconspicuous or relatively non existent physical attribute is
Speaker 2: a serious defect. I think a lot of people often
Speaker 2: have it about their skin, for example. They can become
Speaker 2: very obsessive about something that they deem as a flaw
Speaker 2: that the other people might look at and go, oh gosh,
Speaker 2: there's literally nothing there. It's this obsessive nature that really
Speaker 2: is what creates this illness. And basically, I think you
Speaker 2: know when people are looking at themselves in the mirror
Speaker 2: all the time, constantly checking something, constantly comparing the way
Speaker 2: they look to other people. These are all symptoms and
Speaker 2: signs of a type of body dysmorphia. And body dysmorphia
Speaker 2: itself has many many levels. There is people who have
Speaker 2: very extreme cases and it's debilitating, and then there are
Speaker 2: people who have very mild cases where they may deem
Speaker 2: a certain thing a flaw about themselves and they have
Speaker 2: obsessive tendencies over it, but doesn't completely overrun their day
Speaker 2: or their ability to live a normal life.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Absolutely, the severity can differ from people that know
Speaker 1: that what they're seeing and what they're thinking and what
Speaker 1: they're feeling isn't rational and isn't justified. So they're looking
Speaker 1: at themselves and they might, for example, they might say,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm so fat, but they know that
Speaker 1: they're putting their size ten genes on. They know they're not.
Speaker 1: So there's those people, But then there are the people
Speaker 1: that it really really cause emotional distress and it can
Speaker 1: really affect their entire life because they completely believe that
Speaker 1: what they're seeing is real, and what they're seeing is
Speaker 1: actually has no connection to reality. It's not them in
Speaker 1: any means, and that sometimes sometimes they see things on
Speaker 1: their face that aren't there, they see things on their
Speaker 1: body that aren't there, and it's really concerning because it's
Speaker 1: led to quite a high level of depression and suicide
Speaker 1: in teenagers. And that's why I think it's so important
Speaker 1: to highlight now.
Speaker 2: So one of the reasons why we wanted to talk
Speaker 2: about this on today's episode was because there was a
Speaker 2: post that went up. Kim Kardashian had posted a video
Speaker 2: of herself wearing a corset and there was a really
Speaker 2: interest conversation that happened on Jamila Jimil's Instagram page. She's
Speaker 2: a British actress, a radio presenter, a model, a writer,
Speaker 2: an activist, and a feminist. And what she has written
Speaker 2: on her Instagram is so interesting because she kind of
Speaker 2: encapsulates and really shows how the changing times in social media,
Speaker 2: how there has.
Speaker 1: Been a bit of a revolt.
Speaker 2: Basically, the photo that Kim Kardashin has posted, it's a
Speaker 2: video and it's her wearing her corset from the Met gala,
Speaker 2: where her waist is incredibly almost like unbelievably tiny. If
Speaker 2: you didn't see the video that she posted, if like so,
Speaker 2: I saw the photo and I thought it's gotta be photoshopped.
Speaker 1: But then she's obviously realized that too, and Kim Kanashi's
Speaker 1: posted a video so that she can prove us not photoshopped.
Speaker 1: And it's ridiculous. You guys need to go and have
Speaker 1: a Google look it up. It's insane.
Speaker 2: It's it doesn't like it looks so unbelievably not a
Speaker 2: real person. That's how tiny her waist is. She looks
Speaker 2: like a Barbie doll in this. We actually received messages
Speaker 2: to our own Instagram saying like, this is such a
Speaker 2: good topic for conversation, which is why we wanted to
Speaker 2: kind of delve into it deeper. I really feel like
Speaker 2: Jamila Jamil really encapsulated the most perfect response about this post.
Speaker 2: So what she's said in her Instagram and I would
Speaker 2: love for you to go and read it because it's
Speaker 2: just it's literally the most perfectly worded response to what
Speaker 2: is happening on social media. And what she's said there
Speaker 2: is that there's no point in screaming at Kim herself.
Speaker 2: The smart thing to do is to protect yourself from
Speaker 2: the images that you see on social media. But also
Speaker 2: if you look at something like that and you recognize
Speaker 2: that that's wrong and that that is going to do
Speaker 2: harm to other people, and that that isn't like the
Speaker 2: image we should be putting out there for a realistic
Speaker 2: and attainable body, then the work's already done. You're already
Speaker 2: woke to what's happening in society.
Speaker 1: Well, you can already recognize that it's damage and it's
Speaker 1: unnatural and it's not right and it's causing havoc. I
Speaker 1: guess what Jamila Jamil is saying is that if you
Speaker 1: recognize that this is that this is toxic, and you
Speaker 1: recognize that it's damaging, you're able to kind of disengage
Speaker 1: with Instagram page or with people or celebrities who don't
Speaker 1: make you feel good about yourself. But I think that that's.
Speaker 2: The first step in recognizing and unpacking this idea of
Speaker 2: body dysmorphia. But it's funny, isn't it, Because so many
Speaker 2: people recognize how ridiculous it is and how unattainable it
Speaker 2: is and how damaging it is, but they still follow pages.
Speaker 1: It's like a train wreck. They can't unfollow it. They
Speaker 1: know what makes them feel bad, but they can't unfollow it.
Speaker 1: It's like almost this obsession with the unnatural and the unattainable.
Speaker 2: I think that it's almost a little bit easy to say, oh,
Speaker 2: just tune out and unsubscribe and unfollow the things that
Speaker 2: you know make you feel bad because it's everywhere. It's
Speaker 2: not just on the Instagram pages that you elect to
Speaker 2: follow on Instagram. It's in marketing, it's in retail. It's
Speaker 2: this total lack and underrepresentation of diversity in what people
Speaker 2: look like, which is what creates this feeling of not
Speaker 2: being good enough. So, I mean, I know, like us
Speaker 2: growing up when I was like what in the nineties,
Speaker 2: the idea of what was beautiful in the nineties was
Speaker 2: like heroin, chic, like think eight Moss, young Jos, fucking underweight,
Speaker 2: like super super skinny, if you look like you had
Speaker 2: a drug, a drug addiction like, that's what was deemed beautiful.
Speaker 2: And it was literally called heroin chic.
Speaker 1: And it's so ridiculous when you think about it, isn't
Speaker 1: it outrageous? You didn't think of what the name meant
Speaker 1: when you were young. You were like, oh, heroin chic,
Speaker 1: but you didn't think them, Oh, that we're saying, she
Speaker 1: actually looks like a junkie.
Speaker 2: She looks like a heroine at it, and that shit's chic.
Speaker 2: But that was the that was the goalpost that we
Speaker 2: grew up with. And I remember girls in school aspiring
Speaker 2: to want to look like that, and I remember girls
Speaker 2: that were young adults in my university wanting to aspire
Speaker 2: to look like that. It changes throughout the years, but
Speaker 2: there's always been this one constant, which is this lack
Speaker 2: of diversity in what represents beauty. And we have seen
Speaker 2: just recently, which I think is another amazing point to
Speaker 2: bring into this chat. So for anybody who missed it.
Speaker 2: Calvin Klein has recently released a new billboard in New
Speaker 2: York City, which features black plus sized model and LGBT
Speaker 2: icon Jari Jones, and I think that this in itself,
Speaker 2: it's a really amazing image. Go and have a look
Speaker 2: at that as well.
Speaker 1: But turned around, oh wow, yeah. So basically on one
Speaker 1: side they've got a photo of what Calvin Klein had
Speaker 1: as their model in the nineties and now what they
Speaker 1: have in the twenties, and you know in twenty twenty
Speaker 1: and that twenties and the wild at outrageous twenties. But
Speaker 1: it shows how far we have come in now representing
Speaker 1: different types of beauty. But there is still a very
Speaker 1: long way to go. I remember, so, like you said,
Speaker 1: when we were growing up and heroin chic was a thing,
Speaker 1: I definitely suffered from body dysmorphia. I until not that
Speaker 1: long ago. I still sort of do suffer from it,
Speaker 1: to the point where it really really affected my life.
Speaker 1: I looked at myself like I was the biggest, ugliest thing.
Speaker 1: And I'm not just saying I was like having a
Speaker 1: down day. There were times where I couldn't look at
Speaker 1: myself in a mirror. I would not look at myself
Speaker 1: in a mirror for days on end because I was
Speaker 1: I was actually discussed at what I saw. I would
Speaker 1: not take photos. I would not let people take photos
Speaker 1: of me. I would be beside myself, and my family
Speaker 1: used to I stopped eating, like developed an eating disorder,
Speaker 1: and my family like, you've been like, we didn't know
Speaker 1: what it was then, like you're being ridiculous. But I
Speaker 1: genuinely believed that what I saw something different looking back
Speaker 1: at me in the mirror. And over the years it
Speaker 1: got a lot lot better, where I finally got to
Speaker 1: the point where I had changed from being severe to
Speaker 1: less severe, where I realized that I wasn't making sense,
Speaker 1: and I started to tell myself, you've been ridiculous because
Speaker 1: you're putting on size eight pants. You're not overweight, you're
Speaker 1: wearing size eight. And I really had to start to
Speaker 1: talk myself out of it and put myself back into
Speaker 1: reality and say, if you had a weight problem, you
Speaker 1: wouldn't be putting size eight pants on. I still wasn't
Speaker 1: liking what I saw, but it took me a long
Speaker 1: time to get there, and it was a real, really,
Speaker 1: really hard time, and I still, up until a couple
Speaker 1: of years ago, was still battling that to an extent.
Speaker 1: And my sister always has to pull me in line.
Speaker 1: She always had to say to me, tell me what
Speaker 1: size you're wearing, tell me, like, you're beautiful, Brittany, look
Speaker 1: at this photo like, because I would be like, I
Speaker 1: can't even look at myself, and it's really worrying because
Speaker 1: I don't want anyone to have to go through that.
Speaker 2: I think it's interesting what you say that you used
Speaker 2: to feel like that, because I don't know if it
Speaker 2: ever fully leaves you, like when you have these feelings
Speaker 2: of I think when you have these insecurities and you
Speaker 2: don't feel like you're good enough, I don't think it
Speaker 2: completely completely goes away. I think that you just get
Speaker 2: better at managing it and you grow to accept things
Speaker 2: about yourself. But I still think that there's always this
Speaker 2: level of underlying insecurity that stays there, and maybe it
Speaker 2: can flare up depending on triggers, because obviously you can
Speaker 2: be triggered by things that people say, can be triggered
Speaker 2: by things that you read. I myself, like, we've spoken
Speaker 2: about this in a past episode, but really briefly, so
Speaker 2: I think it's nice to kind of delve into a
Speaker 2: little bit deeper. After the show and being on The Bachelor,
Speaker 2: I became really really self conscious about the way that
Speaker 2: I look, and that's not something that I've ever really
Speaker 2: worried about so much, not from a vanity perspective, but
Speaker 2: just because it never I never really thought about it.
Speaker 2: It wasn't until after doing the show where I would
Speaker 2: see pat photos of myself and I was being scrutinized
Speaker 2: by people on social media saying whether I was pretty
Speaker 2: enough or not that I really really really started to
Speaker 2: get insecure about the way that I look. And particularly
Speaker 2: for me, it was about my skin because I suffer
Speaker 2: from pigmentation. I've spoken about a lot in my social
Speaker 2: media now, but I get pigmentation. I get really bad malasma,
Speaker 2: and you know, I have done loads of things to
Speaker 2: my skin to get rid of it. I have had
Speaker 2: a crazy, hectic, couple thousand dollar peals that left me
Speaker 2: unable to leave house for ten days because I literally
Speaker 2: burnt my hair my face off, like I burnt my
Speaker 2: face off because I really wanted to get rid of it,
Speaker 2: and I became obsessed by it to the point where
Speaker 2: every day I was taking photos of my skin to
Speaker 2: see how bad it was, and every day I was
Speaker 2: checking it in the mirror. And that has changed now.
Speaker 2: I definitely don't have the same insecurities about it. It's
Speaker 2: still there. It's actually worse than ever to pregnancy. But
Speaker 2: for me, what kind of shifted my mentality towards it
Speaker 2: was having Maley. Like I think since becoming a mum,
Speaker 2: I have become less self focused and less worried about
Speaker 2: the way that I look. And there was like a
Speaker 2: very clear line in the sand when that changed for me,
Speaker 2: and that was Marley.
Speaker 1: It's funny when you say that we never really shake it,
Speaker 1: because if I'm going to be completely honest, and I
Speaker 1: will be, I'm gonna be really raw. Here. When I
Speaker 1: was in the finale of The Bachelor, when Nick told
Speaker 1: me he wasn't going to be with me, I remember
Speaker 1: saying to myself, of course he wasn't going to be
Speaker 1: with you. Look at you? Why why would anyone pick you?
Speaker 1: This is what this is my internal monologue. I was like,
Speaker 1: of course, Like if anyone in the whole world, Brittany
Speaker 1: is going to be the first person to not be
Speaker 1: good enough to win, it's you, like, and I was
Speaker 1: really bad to myself. I was like, you should have
Speaker 1: known better. You can't believe you did this to yourself.
Speaker 1: And I convinced myself that he it wasn't his problem.
Speaker 1: The reason he didn't pick anyone was me. It was
Speaker 1: he was He couldn't he could not fathom to wake
Speaker 1: up to me every day and to look at me
Speaker 1: every day. And it was a really, really low point.
Speaker 1: So you definitely don't always shake it and you're not
Speaker 1: going to grow out of it. And I haven't said
Speaker 1: that before, so be goo that was me being really wrong.
Speaker 2: Guys, different triggers, different things that happen in your life
Speaker 2: can trigger that feeling of not being good enough and
Speaker 2: that feeling of insecurity. It doesn't ever completely go away.
Speaker 1: And like I know.
Speaker 2: That, you know that that's not the case with like
Speaker 2: your finale, Like I know that now you can rationalize
Speaker 2: it and look back and go, well, there was twenty
Speaker 2: four other girls in that season and nobody got picked. Like,
Speaker 2: it wasn't a reflection on you as a person. It's
Speaker 2: a reflection on him. But it doesn't mean that that
Speaker 2: doesn't make you question or look at yourself and try
Speaker 2: and pick apart. Why are you not the one that's
Speaker 2: good enough?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's hard tough.
Speaker 2: The thing with this idea of body dysmorphia is that
Speaker 2: it is a lot more common than what people realize.
Speaker 2: It only really comes into the limelight when someone has
Speaker 2: such a severe issue with it that they're having to
Speaker 2: seek treatment. I think that so many women have different
Speaker 2: varying levels of body dysmorphia that never really get talked
Speaker 2: about or spoken about because it doesn't affect their every
Speaker 2: day but they do have this internal monologue where they're thinking, Okay,
Speaker 2: my skin's not good enough, my eyebrows are not this,
Speaker 2: my lips are not this, And that's the that's their
Speaker 2: internal thought patterns, that's what they're telling themselves all the time.
Speaker 2: And I think that that's going to be really relatable
Speaker 2: to a lot of women who are listening to this,
Speaker 2: because I mean, I know that I've done it so
Speaker 2: many times in my life. I just don't tell people
Speaker 2: that that's what I'm thinking. Breaking it down and kind
Speaker 2: of getting into what constitutes body dysmorphia. What are some
Speaker 2: symptoms where you would be able to identify Okay, oh
Speaker 2: my god, this is what this is what I'm doing
Speaker 2: to myself, this is what I'm struggling with at the moment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So look in terms of common areas that people
Speaker 1: struggle with and symptoms. According to the Victorian Government Health
Speaker 1: channel common areas are facial skins. So it's funny you
Speaker 1: said that, Laura, because that's the number one thing that
Speaker 1: the Victorian Health government says people with body morphia suffer from.
Speaker 1: It's looking at their skin.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I was so I cannot explain to
Speaker 2: you how fixated I was on it for a while. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and now, like I still don't. Don't get me wrong, guys,
Speaker 2: like I'm not over it. I still worry about it.
Speaker 2: It's still something that I feel very insecure about. From
Speaker 2: time to time. It was like it was something I
Speaker 2: thought about all day every day, like that was where
Speaker 2: my head was at in regards. So I thought about
Speaker 2: what my skin looked like. I would be having conversations
Speaker 2: with people and they might look at me in a
Speaker 2: funny way, and I would think, Oh, that they're looking
Speaker 2: at my malasma. That's what they're thinking, that my malasma
Speaker 2: is really bad.
Speaker 1: So funny because I don't even notice it on you.
Speaker 1: I'm not even saying that, but that just goes to
Speaker 1: show you how it's this huge thing for you. And
Speaker 1: I look at you every day and I'm not even
Speaker 1: tooted in your horn. I always walk into Laura and
Speaker 1: I'm like, you look really great today. It happened this
Speaker 1: one time.
Speaker 2: So I went to Mamma mia for to record a
Speaker 2: podcast and with Tully smythe I was recording podcasts with Tully,
Speaker 2: and I remember her coming up. Was the first time
Speaker 2: I'd ever seen her in real life, and she came
Speaker 2: up and spoke to me, and I looked at her
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, my god, like, your skin's
Speaker 2: so perfect. And then she was talking to me and
Speaker 2: I thought, oh, you're looking at my skin. You think
Speaker 2: my skin's bad? And that was what was going through
Speaker 2: my head before we recorded the podcast. Now and I
Speaker 2: know that she was probably in retrospect, there's no way
Speaker 2: she was thinking that, Like she's a lovely girl. Why
Speaker 2: on earth would you be thinking that about me? But
Speaker 2: that's all I was thinking. And then the whole time
Speaker 2: we were recording the podcast, I was like, I'm so
Speaker 2: self conscious about my skin. And then the first thing
Speaker 2: I did is I went and looked in the mirror
Speaker 2: to see if by a concealer was still concealing it,
Speaker 2: Like that's how silly And it's not even that bad, guys,
Speaker 2: It's just something that's been my biggest insecurity.
Speaker 1: Your insecurity. Yes, why, well, it's funny because that's the
Speaker 1: number one facial skin. Then they talk about the face
Speaker 1: in general, including the size and the shape of your eyes,
Speaker 1: or your nose, or your ease or your lip, So
Speaker 1: that's the other thing that people are really worried about.
Speaker 1: Then of course it's thighs, stomach, boobs, legs, breasts, and genitals.
Speaker 1: So these are all the things that women worry about,
Speaker 1: and that's the size and the shape. Genitals is a
Speaker 1: big one people get really worried about if they've got
Speaker 1: any or aunty labia. What other people's looks like is
Speaker 1: there's two bigs, there's too small, So that's a really
Speaker 1: big one and they go to the extent of having
Speaker 1: surgery on it. But that's a whole other topic. I
Speaker 1: think this idea of like talking about genitals is really
Speaker 1: interesting because it's something that we like never speak about,
Speaker 1: even with like our closest friends. I don't think I've
Speaker 1: ever spoken to my closest friends about what my vagina
Speaker 1: looks like. I don't know, I vaginal's like, no, I'm ad.
Speaker 1: I'm definitely not gonna tell y'all on Room this podcast.
Speaker 2: But I do think that like there becomes this insecurity
Speaker 2: around it when there is no conversation because you have
Speaker 2: no point of comparison. So I guess, like, what in
Speaker 2: an ideal world, if you were going to hold up
Speaker 2: a Barbie doll. We've been raised with Barbie as like
Speaker 2: your toy. They don't have any genitalia. Yeah she's smooth,
Speaker 2: Yeah she's smooth, she's bold. But like this idea of
Speaker 2: it being an innie is like perfect little vagina, but
Speaker 2: like women don't have innies.
Speaker 1: Like that's like some do.
Speaker 2: Sure, great majority of women don't have innies. Yeah, good
Speaker 2: for you, fantastic take a photo.
Speaker 1: But if you've ever been to MoMA in Tasmania, there
Speaker 1: is this wall of vaginas and one thing that I
Speaker 1: found that was so amazing to see. I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: they are so incredibly different. The vast array of like
Speaker 1: what a vagina looks like, what constitutes normal is incredible.
Speaker 1: But because we don't talk about it, it's very private,
Speaker 1: but like we don't know, we don't know what normally. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess for me, it's different. I work in an
Speaker 1: industry where there's a big part of my job that
Speaker 1: I look at vaginas and penises all day. It's like
Speaker 1: what we do and you don't even that's just when
Speaker 1: she's on lunch break, like, oh yeah, no, that's before work.
Speaker 1: We do it all day, like I do things where
Speaker 1: we used to. You know, women are having trouble falling pregnant.
Speaker 1: We flash their Filippine tubes. Most of our patients are
Speaker 1: in gowns with their underwear, ultrasounds, everything, So I see
Speaker 1: them all day, every day. I don't even register it.
Speaker 1: It's second nature. It would be looking at someone's genitals
Speaker 1: for me is like looking at their hand. It's just
Speaker 1: part of the job. But the point of this is
Speaker 1: there are so many different kinds and they're all normal.
Speaker 1: Every single one is normal because there is no normal,
Speaker 1: and that's what I think people need to understand. But
Speaker 1: for you, because you get to see it all the time,
Speaker 1: surely there's some level of reassurance there as well. You're like, ah, oh,
Speaker 1: I know where I sit in the spectrum of life. Well,
Speaker 1: most people don't have that.
Speaker 2: They don't have a point of comparison with that sort
Speaker 2: of stuff. Whereas unlike your face or another part of
Speaker 2: your body, you can actually see and compare that to
Speaker 2: somebody else Whereas like your genitals. Yeah, I ain't got
Speaker 2: the same sort of well we.
Speaker 1: Really really dogged into the genital part, but let's talk
Speaker 1: about Okay, so they're like the main areas that people
Speaker 1: struggle with, and I totally get that. For me, it
Speaker 1: was my weight. I had never had a problem with
Speaker 1: my skin or anything else. It was just like I
Speaker 1: thought I looked like the size of a house when
Speaker 1: I didn't. That was my thing. Your thing was a skin.
Speaker 1: But let's talk about some other symptoms of BDD body
Speaker 1: dysmorphic disorder.
Speaker 2: One of them was what I touched on earlier a
Speaker 2: little bit, which is this constantness of looking at yourself
Speaker 2: in the mirror or taking photos, or sometimes it's almost
Speaker 2: the opposite of that, if you find yourself having to
Speaker 2: completely avoid mirrors because you don't like what you see
Speaker 2: in there. These are all also symptoms of someone who
Speaker 2: might be suffering from some level of body dysmorphia.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so we have like constant dieting and over exercising,
Speaker 1: which I feel like majority of people are going to say, well,
Speaker 1: I've done that before. The grooming to excess. So for example,
Speaker 1: a big thing is like brushing the same bit of
Speaker 1: your hair over and over and over, shaving the same
Speaker 1: patch of your skin over and over and over, putting
Speaker 1: concealer on the same part of your melasma all day
Speaker 1: and it's all you think about. Excessive consumption of your
Speaker 1: thoughts of this one area of your face.
Speaker 2: Repeat cosmetic surgery or procedures. So I think, like, if
Speaker 2: you get yourself into a habit of constantly trying to
Speaker 2: fix something, yeah.
Speaker 1: And that's like, especially if it's the same body part
Speaker 1: over being improved. So like you get your boobs done,
Speaker 1: but then you get them again because you're still like
Speaker 1: they're they're not right, they're not right. You're get to
Speaker 1: again and again. So it's like procedures, because make procedures
Speaker 1: is one thing, but then like over and over and
Speaker 1: over again, Like there is this obsessive nature, in this
Speaker 1: repetitive nature, which is what starts to really signify if
Speaker 1: you've got body dysmorphia. Yeah, then there's like obviously the
Speaker 1: whole comparison. You spend a lot of time comparing yourself.
Speaker 1: You wait and your looks to your friends or to
Speaker 1: models or to people that you know aren't attainable, Like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: why is Kim Kardashian's waist like that I need my
Speaker 1: waist to be like that, or I'm not gonna beautiful,
Speaker 1: no one's gonna love me. So that's a really big one. Depression, anxiety,
Speaker 1: feeling really down and feeling really low, not wanting to
Speaker 1: go to social events, not wanting your friends to see you,
Speaker 1: excessively trying to cover up your body so it might
Speaker 1: be somewhere and it's really hot and you're like, I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna wear my jumper. I think as well, like
Speaker 1: when you get into like those sorts of strategies for coping,
Speaker 1: like when you are displaying avoidance behavior or you're trying
Speaker 1: to cover up, like, that's when you're really kind of
Speaker 1: falling deeply down the rabbit hole of like this actually
Speaker 1: being a significant issue that affects your life. And I
Speaker 1: think that that's when you really need to have a
Speaker 1: look at yourself and go, Okay, what can I do
Speaker 1: to better develop the coping mechanisms and the skills to
Speaker 1: be okay with the way that I look? Because you
Speaker 1: know what, like every single person is unique. We've all
Speaker 1: been given vastly different personalities and aesthetics, and the difference
Speaker 1: in us is what makes us all beautiful and unique.
Speaker 1: A really, really really big one and one that I
Speaker 1: happened to me and I experience when I was young.
Speaker 1: To it, it's not even feeling comfortable in front of
Speaker 1: your partner. You don't want them to see you naked,
Speaker 1: you don't want them to see you in swimwear because
Speaker 1: you're just mortified that they'll think you're unattractive. That's a
Speaker 1: really big one, and that one breaks my heart because
Speaker 1: this person's with you because they love you, they love
Speaker 1: every part of you. If you, guys, do feel like
Speaker 1: you've had any of these symptoms and you are listening
Speaker 1: to this podcast being like yep, yep, tick tick, been there,
Speaker 1: done that, then you do need to go and seek
Speaker 1: help because it is a serious condition. So you need
Speaker 1: to go to your GP or go and speak to
Speaker 1: a therapist. And the number one treatment for body dysmorphia
Speaker 1: is cognitive behavioral therapy, and they'll do that. A therapist
Speaker 1: will do that with you. It's just a short term
Speaker 1: therapy technique. It does have an end, an end time,
Speaker 1: so it's not like something you have to go and
Speaker 1: do for years. They'll often it's part of the therapies.
Speaker 1: They'll put a timeline on it. They'll saying three months,
Speaker 1: we'll get there. In three months, this will be over,
Speaker 1: for example. And basically it just helps people find a
Speaker 1: new way to behave it changes their thought processes, and
Speaker 1: this is the number one treatment that they use.
Speaker 2: It's all about like retraining your brain and retraining your
Speaker 2: thought patterns. And also I guess it comes into this
Speaker 2: idea of mindfulness, like when you know that you're falling
Speaker 2: down the rabbit hole of thinking these things and thinking
Speaker 2: these negative thoughts, trying to stop yourself and focus on
Speaker 2: other aspects of your life that bring you joy and
Speaker 2: make you happy. And like I said, like I think
Speaker 2: a massive turning point for me was when I had Mali.
Speaker 2: Having a shift in my life, having a shift in
Speaker 2: my focus really made a huge difference in my own vanity.
Speaker 1: I think like I no longer am the only person
Speaker 1: in my world. I'm no longer the most important person
Speaker 1: in my world, and that changed my life incredibly. However,
Speaker 1: I don't think going and having a kid is a solution.
Speaker 1: No everyone, Okay, going in and having a baby is
Speaker 1: not on the treatment plan, guys, Laura, it worked for Laura,
Speaker 1: it's not gonna work for everyone else. But it's just
Speaker 1: another way to deal with stress. It can you can
Speaker 1: use it for other things too, relationship breakdowns, grief loss.
Speaker 1: It's really really powerful tool and something that everybody should
Speaker 1: learn and take into that life. So I do really
Speaker 1: really want you to not shy away from this. If
Speaker 1: you do feel like there is any of this that
Speaker 1: is ringing true to you, please come and seek help.
Speaker 2: Often like thinking that needing to go to therapy is
Speaker 2: like the most drastic and like you can only do
Speaker 2: that when it's at the very very like bleakest moment.
Speaker 2: I do think that there's other things that you can
Speaker 2: do before having to like seek out that sort of
Speaker 2: professional help. I think if you are struggling with some
Speaker 2: aspect of body dysmorphia, depending on how debilitating it is
Speaker 2: to your life, things like unfollowing people on social media
Speaker 2: who make you feel bad, Things like being really really
Speaker 2: mindful of what content you're consuming, also being aware of
Speaker 2: what you're being marketed, because like you know, we seek
Speaker 2: out what we wan and a not. So I think
Speaker 2: it's very easy to continue to read blogs about how
Speaker 2: to make your skin better, or to look up, like
Speaker 2: you know, different exercise programs, or like just constantly consuming
Speaker 2: content that is feeding this insecurity that you have. That's
Speaker 2: where you have to try and break the cycle as well.
Speaker 2: Acknowledge that you're doing it. Don't beat yourself up for
Speaker 2: doing it, but put the phone down and walk away
Speaker 2: from the laptop when you are finding yourself constantly consuming
Speaker 2: information or looking at photos that are just perpetuating this
Speaker 2: feeling of not being good enough.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I recently had a few months ago, now, I
Speaker 1: had a social media color where I was looking at
Speaker 1: people and I'm like, they actually just make me feel shit.
Speaker 1: I went through I called a couple of hundred people
Speaker 1: from my I didn't know them personally. They were people
Speaker 1: that I had obviously just followed once upon a time
Speaker 1: because I thought they were beautiful for whatever reason. And
Speaker 1: then I was like, you actually don't give me one
Speaker 1: bit of content that benefits my life or don't gain
Speaker 1: anything from them except I look at them and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, they're so like why can't I be
Speaker 1: like that? And this?
Speaker 2: And this is totally like then, oh, oh my god,
Speaker 2: I love the symbiosis of this. This just feeds full circle,
Speaker 2: oh world. And then this just kind of comes full
Speaker 2: circle again to what Jamila Jamil was saying in her
Speaker 2: post and what we touched on at the very start
Speaker 2: of this chat, and that is that you can be
Speaker 2: empowered like you are the one who dictates the content
Speaker 2: that you consume. You are the one that dictates the
Speaker 2: products that you buy. You are the one that dictates
Speaker 2: what you're being marketed to. So take power, take control,
Speaker 2: use the tools that you've been given, and recognize what
Speaker 2: makes you feel bad and what adds to that, and
Speaker 2: make empowered choices to live a better life where one way,
Speaker 2: you're not comparing yourself to other people and you're not
Speaker 2: allowing yourself to feel insecure because of shit like social media.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and just be kind to yourself.
Speaker 2: I just want to finish this with the quote from
Speaker 2: this post where Jamila jimil has said, you have the power.
Speaker 2: You control every market. You choose what and who is trendy.
Speaker 2: Unfollow the people who tell you things that hurt your
Speaker 2: self esteem. Don't let the debris of their damage spill
Speaker 2: onto you. Unfollow people brands that don't make you feel
Speaker 2: powerful and happy and grateful for what you have. Block, mute, delete, repeat.
Speaker 1: Both, boom mic drop. I think what a way to
Speaker 1: finish Laura, Thank you, Thank you very much. Plea's come again.
Speaker 2: All right, guys, you know that we never finished an
Speaker 2: episode without our suck and our sweet.
Speaker 1: Are you gonna kick it off? Or am I going
Speaker 1: to kick it off? Oh? I'll kick it off. I've
Speaker 1: already forgotten what my suck is. That's why I said, Oh,
Speaker 1: what's my suck? My suck for sure? Actually it was
Speaker 1: a tie. It's my bloody toilet breaks on a Sunday afternoon.
Speaker 1: That was my sweet. It was so yester today. But
Speaker 1: you know what I did, guys, Thank you fiercely independent.
Speaker 1: I youtubed, I googled it and then I youtubed it
Speaker 1: and I fixed it with my one glove. I had
Speaker 1: one glove. I need no man met my hands on
Speaker 1: the toilet. I'm skypy, people, I've got Google and YouTube going.
Speaker 1: I've got a R and B playing in the background.
Speaker 1: It was actually a pretty sweet suck.
Speaker 2: I passionately believe that you can find a YouTube tutorial
Speaker 2: for anything, and you can learn a new skill. You
Speaker 2: can fix a toilet, you can get a boyfriend, you
Speaker 2: can do whatever you want using YouTube, Like She's going
Speaker 2: to change your life.
Speaker 1: To get a boyfriend? Was in no better. Yeah, I'll
Speaker 1: have you all know, I know you're on the edge
Speaker 1: of you see fix my toilet? Thank you. It was
Speaker 1: such a suspense. What a gripping heart of this podcast,
Speaker 1: very bening. This is my life right now. Is that
Speaker 1: you're sweet? Is the toilet being sick? The sweet? Oh? Okay, right,
Speaker 1: sorry sweet? We were riding the highs and the lows there,
Speaker 1: my sweet is you guys know that we had to
Speaker 1: put our family dog down, Lily, our ridge back. I
Speaker 1: guess it was two months now. I don't know. It's
Speaker 1: gone so fast. But my mum, so we have another
Speaker 1: little rescue dog at home, and she's so lonely without Lily.
Speaker 1: She's she cries all day, she howls all day. So
Speaker 1: they are getting another little dog. And they sent me
Speaker 1: a picture and it's the cutest little thing I've ever seen.
Speaker 1: So she gets it in like two weeks. And that's
Speaker 1: my sweet, just because I can't wait to go up
Speaker 1: and smother it to death, my love, Please don't smother it.
Speaker 2: I have a lot of love to give, Okay, I like,
Speaker 2: I can't even imagine. I can't even imagine the day
Speaker 2: the bus is not here. So I'm not going to
Speaker 2: That's not what we're going to I don't do it.
Speaker 1: What you say suck.
Speaker 2: My suck is that I have been feeling absolutely exhausted
Speaker 2: this last week, like just ruined to the point where
Speaker 2: I have been taking naps when Marley naps. I am
Speaker 2: just a very tired, tired person. And I think if
Speaker 2: you deserve that though, like you need that. Yeah, it
Speaker 2: just comes from like burning burning the wick, burning the
Speaker 2: candle at both ends, just like way too much work,
Speaker 2: way too much life, way too much everything, and I
Speaker 2: just need to slow down. But there's no time to
Speaker 2: slow down because there's podcasts to do, because she needs
Speaker 2: to bring this to you guys.
Speaker 1: Here we are.
Speaker 2: Then I got to edit this after we finish. So
Speaker 2: my sweet as well, my sweet for the week is, guys,
Speaker 2: I can't tell you how much I love it when
Speaker 2: people come up and say they love the podcast.
Speaker 1: It's happened.
Speaker 2: It happened to both of us, like when we spoke
Speaker 2: about the beginning of the episode, but it's happened quite
Speaker 2: a few times this week to me Solo and I
Speaker 2: know to Britt Solo as well, And honestly, it just
Speaker 2: absolutely makes my week. It's the nicest compliment that you
Speaker 2: guys could give, so Thank you to everybody who came
Speaker 2: up this week and said that they love the podcast,
Speaker 2: because I get super embarrassed and I'm like.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Yeah, I fucking put my whole life
Speaker 1: out there for the I know, because ah, I think, Laura,
Speaker 1: you're fun. One of my boyfriend You and I forget
Speaker 1: that we're not just talking to each other. I think
Speaker 1: sometimes we'll get like deep in conversation, like we're talking
Speaker 1: to each other, but we forget it goes out to
Speaker 1: this platform.
Speaker 2: Yes, but you're welcome, guys, you are absolutely welcome. So yeah,
Speaker 2: that absolutely make my makes my week. And my other
Speaker 2: sweet is that this weekend's Matt's birthday and we are
Speaker 2: going away for the weekend.
Speaker 1: We're going down to Mollymook. They're gonna go to Cupits,
Speaker 1: which is a little winery down there, and we're just
Speaker 1: gonna have a cute weekend together with Molly. Yes, she's
Speaker 1: our third wee all constantly can't leave the kid behind,
Speaker 1: So the three of us are gonna go down and
Speaker 1: have cute weekend. It's Matt's twenty ninth ron Oh my god,
Speaker 1: here's thirty three finally, So there's like for like three
Speaker 1: months of the year. That is two years younger than me.
Speaker 1: You are, Yeah, so I'm thirty four.
Speaker 2: Matt's is currently thirty two, and he turns thirty three
Speaker 2: on the weekend, and so for three months of the
Speaker 2: year he is such an obnoxious little sod and he's.
Speaker 1: Like, how old are you? Oh, you're so old, and
Speaker 1: I have to listen to that for three months. So
Speaker 1: finally we're going to be a bit closer in age.
Speaker 1: I have a great weekend. Thank you, Thank you very much.
Speaker 1: When are we going to record that ship? That will
Speaker 1: figure that one? I'm out all or not on the air?
Speaker 1: Not on air, guys, that's it. Thanks so much for
Speaker 1: tuning in again today. We will be back in two
Speaker 1: days time for our very special episode.
Speaker 2: Ask gun Cut, where we answer your deep, dark and
Speaker 2: burning questions.
Speaker 1: So send your questions in. I hate when you do
Speaker 1: that sound. I think people are really aroused by it.
Speaker 1: You turned on. Do you know what it is? Well, no,
Speaker 1: I'm Punky does the Bachelor videos and he oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's exactly what it is. Whenever people make it out, yes,
Speaker 1: it's the kissing sound from the Punky videos. Guys. I'm
Speaker 1: just trying to keep like a bit of batchy theme
Speaker 1: running throughout this just a little undercurrent. It's still there.
Speaker 1: I'm literally on the Bachelor reality show. I think we've
Speaker 1: still got the theme, all right, guys, So a little
Speaker 1: bit of housekeeping before we let you run away. If
Speaker 1: you haven't joined the Facebook group, it's Live Uncut Podcast,
Speaker 1: and if you haven't followed us on Instagram, then you
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