WEBVTT - #141 WE HAVE BIG NEWS 0:00:01.240 --> 0:00:02.040 You've just done something. 0:00:02.240 --> 0:00:05.640 I've done something which I was going to bring this 0:00:05.680 --> 0:00:08.520 up in private, but then I thought we are running late, 0:00:09.119 --> 0:00:10.320 need to record this episode. 0:00:10.560 --> 0:00:13.280 Of course, what better time than now. There's no better time. 0:00:13.440 --> 0:00:16.520 You've pissed on the floor. I didn't. You did? I 0:00:16.600 --> 0:00:19.919 definitely did not. Yes, you're a floor piss up. I 0:00:20.000 --> 0:00:23.799 did not. I have great control. You went to the toilet. 0:00:24.000 --> 0:00:24.840 How do you know? I don't sit. 0:00:24.960 --> 0:00:27.120 I don't know how you do it, but you managed 0:00:27.120 --> 0:00:28.200 to get w wiz on the floor. 0:00:28.240 --> 0:00:28.560 I didn't. 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:31.360 I stand by one of us, producer Jess, went to 0:00:31.400 --> 0:00:35.320 the bathroom, came out and said him over there has 0:00:35.400 --> 0:00:36.160 pissed on the floor. 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:39.320 Dare did not. I did not. I see what I 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:42.040 WII must have had a boner or something. 0:00:42.040 --> 0:01:01.960 I don't know what you're doing in that guilty Welcome. 0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:05.000 Back to two my own webs. I'm trying to do 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:05.360 the intro. 0:01:05.440 --> 0:01:05.600 Bro. 0:01:05.720 --> 0:01:07.760 Sorry, you're not doing this, so I didn't. 0:01:07.480 --> 0:01:10.119 They Welcome back to two Doting Dads. I am Addie 0:01:10.200 --> 0:01:13.320 Jay and this is a podcast all about parenting. It 0:01:13.360 --> 0:01:15.680 is the good, it is the bad, and the relatable. 0:01:15.720 --> 0:01:19.280 And we don't give advice ever at all. 0:01:19.120 --> 0:01:20.959 Except don't piss on the floor at Maddy's house, because 0:01:20.959 --> 0:01:21.440 you'll find out. 0:01:22.280 --> 0:01:26.560 It's just I feel like most people would have a 0:01:26.680 --> 0:01:30.480 decent amount of respect to not piss on someone else's property. 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:33.560 Got to get back at you somehow. I don't want to. 0:01:34.880 --> 0:01:37.720 I honestly didn't know I did that. 0:01:37.720 --> 0:01:38.160 That's right. 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:41.880 We are on holidays as a family. We've gone down 0:01:41.920 --> 0:01:46.360 to the house and the house was looking great. You know, Tom, 0:01:46.360 --> 0:01:51.640 I builder, who is just amazing. Kids, there's little fingerprints 0:01:52.280 --> 0:01:55.600 fucking everywhere, sticky, so sticky. 0:01:55.640 --> 0:01:58.360 Bro, you give them something that's not even sticky, and 0:01:58.400 --> 0:01:59.919 all of a sudden they've got fucking sticky. 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:02.280 It's what are they doing? I think, what are they doing? Science? 0:02:02.400 --> 0:02:04.840 And I'm like, don't touch that, put that down, putting 0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:08.200 their feet up on the wall, like just feet, and 0:02:08.200 --> 0:02:11.520 also like coloring in. Just everything they do is just 0:02:12.080 --> 0:02:15.840 making a mess. And I get it. They're young and 0:02:15.880 --> 0:02:18.760 they're living their lives, living their best lives. 0:02:19.120 --> 0:02:21.560 If a child draws on a wall in your house, 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:24.080 what's the course of action in terms of discipline. 0:02:24.160 --> 0:02:27.040 I will beat them to a pulp. I would expect 0:02:27.080 --> 0:02:27.680 nothing less. 0:02:27.960 --> 0:02:30.040 That is the fear that's been inflicted on them I'm 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:33.919 yet to do it, Thank heavens for anyone wondering I did. 0:02:33.919 --> 0:02:37.440 Not my children, not yet. But there's a lot of 0:02:37.480 --> 0:02:39.560 yelling right now. As far as the holidays go, it's 0:02:39.600 --> 0:02:41.560 been it's been like a yellow minute. 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:44.840 We offer talk about school holidays and how or just 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:46.840 holidays with your family in general, and it's like it's 0:02:46.840 --> 0:02:48.400 meant to be like really fun, but it just ends 0:02:48.480 --> 0:02:50.960 up being fucking nightmarees it's a nightmare. 0:02:51.040 --> 0:02:54.680 I mean Marley, she didn't realize she thought holidays, we're 0:02:54.760 --> 0:02:57.359 just weekends. Like she didn't realize that. 0:02:57.400 --> 0:02:57.959 Oh bless. 0:02:58.040 --> 0:03:00.600 I was like, you're on holidays, and she's like, sweet weekends. 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:04.440 And then on Monday she was like, uh, school and 0:03:04.480 --> 0:03:06.720 I was like, no, you're on holidays. She's never had 0:03:06.800 --> 0:03:09.880 like she's always been a daycare, so she's never had holidays. 0:03:09.400 --> 0:03:13.160 Never had an Oscar thinks the word yesterday means anytime 0:03:13.360 --> 0:03:14.760 any day that happened prior. 0:03:17.120 --> 0:03:17.519 I love that. 0:03:18.120 --> 0:03:20.160 So he'll be like, we'll go somewhere that we were 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:22.440 at like a year ago. He'll be like, we were 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:26.600 here yesterday. I was like, what are you talking about. 0:03:29.320 --> 0:03:33.600 I'm trying to live with this anxiety that you know. 0:03:33.720 --> 0:03:35.840 Obviously house. Is it going to get lived in? Right? 0:03:35.960 --> 0:03:38.920 It's not museums, I know, but I just everything looks 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:40.280 nicer without kids in it. 0:03:40.760 --> 0:03:43.960 Off for sure, Like a brand new car and you 0:03:44.040 --> 0:03:48.000 put a kid in it. Oh, they just ruin everything. 0:03:48.080 --> 0:03:51.800 It's like they're carrying a constant bag of rubbish with them. 0:03:52.000 --> 0:03:53.560 It's like, oh, come in the. 0:03:53.480 --> 0:03:56.400 Car, don't let me just get my bag of rubbish. 0:03:56.520 --> 0:03:59.720 It's the worst. So, you know, I'm so glad. 0:03:59.800 --> 0:04:02.160 I agonized of every nook and cranny of that house 0:04:02.360 --> 0:04:04.440 just to let my kids destroy it. 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:07.520 The moment they moved in, They're like, is this eggshell white? 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:12.080 Not anymore? And then I come back booker white? 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:14.440 What's the come back here? And you're pissing on the 0:04:14.440 --> 0:04:18.240 fucking toilet floor seat. Jesus, can't you know? 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:21.560 Just everywhere I turned, there's no concrete evidence that it 0:04:21.600 --> 0:04:26.520 was me. Producer Jazz has photos. She's untrustworthy. You're right, 0:04:27.000 --> 0:04:30.760 you're right, just photo Are you taking photos of my piss? 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:34.120 She just threw me a shaker. That means yes, I'm 0:04:34.160 --> 0:04:38.080 into it. That's cool, very good, very good. 0:04:38.600 --> 0:04:40.400 I saw a guy on the drive down here by 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:43.080 the way up here. He was in the back of 0:04:43.120 --> 0:04:46.160 the car and had his head out the window like 0:04:46.200 --> 0:04:50.359 a dog on the highway, just like head out, like 0:04:50.440 --> 0:04:51.000 mouth open. 0:04:51.040 --> 0:04:54.200 Maybe he ate something really spicy. I was like, I've 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:55.440 never seen that before. 0:04:55.720 --> 0:05:01.000 Maybe he's fueled by wind, very gassy, very it would 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:01.760 be so. 0:05:04.560 --> 0:05:05.719 Very good. Do you know what I saw? 0:05:05.920 --> 0:05:10.520 Speaking about something pit seat speaking about seeing things while driving. 0:05:10.560 --> 0:05:12.560 I don't know if I've ever told you is one 0:05:12.560 --> 0:05:14.160 time I was driving out of my grandmother's house, who 0:05:14.200 --> 0:05:15.239 lives in Western Sydney. 0:05:15.600 --> 0:05:16.839 And we know Western Sydney. 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:23.359 No offense, chess, it's pretty dicey, you know. 0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:25.560 No, Actually I love Western Sydney. 0:05:26.400 --> 0:05:30.120 Whoa, heyjeuz I didn't say I didn't like that. 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:33.039 I'd love to know what portion of our listener is 0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:35.479 from Western Sydney. If you are listening and you do 0:05:35.720 --> 0:05:38.880 reside in the West of Sydney, please let us know. 0:05:39.040 --> 0:05:41.719 Well, this might be you. If you're listening listening in 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:41.960 the car. 0:05:42.040 --> 0:05:45.560 Perhaps I was at the lights on the way out 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:48.760 west and I look over to someone in their car 0:05:48.960 --> 0:05:50.559 and they were smoking an ice pipe. 0:05:50.600 --> 0:05:54.640 What suburb is this? Gilford Classic Guildford. 0:05:54.760 --> 0:06:00.040 Yeah, So if you are listening, enjoy that math The fhetamine. 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:02.920 Yeah's meth and ice the same thing. Yeah, it is. Yep, 0:06:03.120 --> 0:06:07.719 it is great, great spoke, spoken like a true addict. Anyway, 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:10.920 I look over and he's blazing up, just couldn't wait 0:06:10.960 --> 0:06:13.120 to get home. I don't know. Maybe he just likes 0:06:13.120 --> 0:06:16.160 to live life on the edge, or maybe it's addicted. 0:06:16.680 --> 0:06:18.800 It's a certain like there's a line, isn't it when 0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:21.040 you're a meth head, but you do it in private, 0:06:21.920 --> 0:06:24.200 But when you're a meth head you do it in public. 0:06:24.279 --> 0:06:26.640 You're like you've crossed the line. 0:06:26.680 --> 0:06:32.400 That myth must have been Moorish? You getting back for seconds? Okay, 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:35.080 what do I go for? What do I go for? Hey? 0:06:35.120 --> 0:06:40.760 Speaking of substances? Good segue, seg, thank you. 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:43.560 As you know, obviously goes to primary school much like 0:06:43.640 --> 0:06:47.279 Marley and primary schools schools in general, they have a 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:53.800 lot of outside of school our activities, like he just 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:56.000 went off the top of my head, like pizza and 0:06:56.000 --> 0:06:59.240 puzzle night, okay, which is usually like Father's Day. 0:06:59.160 --> 0:07:03.440 Right, and I know that puzzle. 0:07:03.880 --> 0:07:06.440 Yeah, it's like it's like after hours, right, so it's 0:07:06.440 --> 0:07:17.320 like four o'clock sounds sexual pizza and penises, pizza, pizza 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:19.920 and Dad's penis yeah, okay. 0:07:19.720 --> 0:07:20.640 Let me get back on track. 0:07:20.680 --> 0:07:23.640 Outside of school now, a lot of these things are 0:07:24.880 --> 0:07:34.040 alcohol free zones, as you can imagine, because what. 0:07:31.240 --> 0:07:36.200 What no, just imagining you rocking up? Did Pizza and 0:07:36.240 --> 0:07:38.119 Puzzle night with the case of beer? 0:07:38.800 --> 0:07:41.160 Yeah? I thought it was pizza puzzle and case of 0:07:42.240 --> 0:07:49.720 pizza puzzle And no, no, no, very funny. I just know. Sorry, 0:07:49.960 --> 0:07:55.040 I know thought you You're like you sound like annoyed 0:07:55.080 --> 0:07:57.400 and surprised. I tried to take my meth pipe with 0:07:57.480 --> 0:07:57.880 me again. 0:07:59.400 --> 0:08:02.400 You know they're but they also do events that are 0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:04.960 like parents only, like for fundraiser. 0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:15.360 I'm not going to get through these fucking hell only ones. 0:08:15.920 --> 0:08:17.040 Let me come to those. 0:08:16.880 --> 0:08:22.360 On three keys and anyway, so the adults only nine. 0:08:24.080 --> 0:08:32.400 Yeah, fucking hell god. Anyway, we went to what they 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:40.319 call a mingle. This story sounds terrible. 0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:46.880 This sounds like a horrible Sorry what happens the adult 0:08:46.920 --> 0:08:47.720 only mingles? 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:51.439 No, this was this was the kids. This was a 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:56.520 there were kids. There were kids on this mingles. Actually 0:08:56.559 --> 0:08:57.160 bring one kid. 0:08:58.040 --> 0:09:01.640 Anyway, all these events are alcohol free, and it begs 0:09:01.679 --> 0:09:06.520 the question why, okay, outside of school hours this parent. 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:09.160 Mingle was for I can't get I can't look at you. 0:09:09.760 --> 0:09:11.559 I look at the floor, Look at the floor. I 0:09:11.920 --> 0:09:13.800 questioned why there's no alcohol? 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:17.720 And I found out that there used to be alcohol 0:09:17.840 --> 0:09:22.960 at these after school events, like the fundraising shit, the parents' 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:26.480 nights or whatever there used to be until trivia night 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:32.719 last year. Apparently all the parents got really lit and 0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:37.880 they ended up finding alcohol like bottles around the school. 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:40.920 What is wrong with people? I think it's really funny. 0:09:40.960 --> 0:09:43.000 What's wrong with people? Come on, this is for the kids. 0:09:43.040 --> 0:09:45.439 Well they ruined it for all of us. Anyway, we 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:46.320 went to the mingle. 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:50.280 How drunk were they getting? Apparently they were lit like list. 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:52.840 It was a fundraising trivia end of years. 0:09:52.920 --> 0:09:56.360 And you talk about Western Sydney being bad, the northern 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:58.760 beaches of Sydney a bunch of his heads. 0:09:58.840 --> 0:10:02.240 Yeah yeah, but nothing else to do sink piers at schools, 0:10:02.600 --> 0:10:04.599 at the school mingles, at the school mingle. So we 0:10:04.720 --> 0:10:08.400 went to the KINDI Mingle, which was not run by 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:12.600 the school all right, it's run by some volunteers and whatever. 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:14.480 And it was like the P and C whatever it 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:14.800 might be. 0:10:15.000 --> 0:10:18.079 And I was like, it would be Friday, whatever it 0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:20.040 may be. It's the peens. It's a Friday afternoon it's 0:10:20.080 --> 0:10:22.640 the p and C. Okay, the event was, Ah, why 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:24.040 are you going to argue me on the pens? I 0:10:24.080 --> 0:10:26.439 don't care about the p and C. I've never heard 0:10:26.480 --> 0:10:28.719 of them. Well, the school has a P and C. 0:10:28.920 --> 0:10:29.440 The P and C. 0:10:29.720 --> 0:10:33.160 Organized a KINDI parent mingle, so you meet the other 0:10:33.280 --> 0:10:36.839 parents because obviously now we've been grouped into classes and 0:10:36.960 --> 0:10:39.280 now I'm forced to be friends with people that don't 0:10:39.280 --> 0:10:41.319 want to be friends with. Also, all the parents out 0:10:41.320 --> 0:10:42.599 there that go to my kids school, I love you. 0:10:43.400 --> 0:10:45.880 I have some friends that we all their kids go 0:10:46.320 --> 0:10:49.839 to this to the same school, and I thought, I 0:10:49.880 --> 0:10:51.520 don't want to go to an alcohol for event on 0:10:51.559 --> 0:10:54.839 a Friday, so I took a six pack. But the 0:10:54.960 --> 0:10:57.200 difference is with the six pack is I wrapped all 0:10:57.240 --> 0:11:01.320 the beers in and in a nappy like a cool No. 0:11:01.520 --> 0:11:05.360 Don't you just look like a fucking weird like a 0:11:05.440 --> 0:11:09.360 weirdo sniffing nappies. I don't sniff my beers, bro, I 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:12.440 chuggle them. Are you hiding a beer in a nappy? Yeah? 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:15.120 Like that looks weird. Like you're better off just going 0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:15.720 to the toilet. 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:18.040 That's way creepy because the people think I'm doing some 0:11:18.120 --> 0:11:19.000 illicit drugs in there. 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:21.679 Don't look any better walking around with like four nappies 0:11:21.679 --> 0:11:24.560 in your hand. A nappy guy, how do you assume 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:26.520 I only had four? No one would be able to 0:11:26.520 --> 0:11:26.959 suspect it. 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:27.560 What do we got? 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:31.360 That is one of the dumbest things I have ever seen. 0:11:31.559 --> 0:11:33.439 Well, the jokes on you because I got away with it. 0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:36.080 When we were in the cool corner, people were coming 0:11:36.080 --> 0:11:37.840 over again, what's going on over here? I'm like, nappy 0:11:37.880 --> 0:11:38.839 beer can? 0:11:38.920 --> 0:11:40.079 I make a suggestion. 0:11:40.520 --> 0:11:43.480 You're better off getting a coke can and getting a 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:46.240 tolley and pouring a tolly into the coke can. 0:11:46.320 --> 0:11:48.640 Too much work. You just look weird that you're holding 0:11:48.720 --> 0:11:51.160 a dirty nappy. That's funny. That's part of the joke. 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:52.800 But like, don't question me. 0:11:52.960 --> 0:11:56.800 It works. Sorry, it worked up until we were leaving 0:11:56.840 --> 0:11:58.560 and I had to empty the bag full of beer 0:11:58.679 --> 0:12:02.480 cans into the recycling being, which is full of like, so, 0:12:02.559 --> 0:12:03.600 what do you do drink can? 0:12:03.679 --> 0:12:05.040 What do you do with the nappies? Oh, they're in 0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:08.800 there too. I'm taking a stand. April is a lucky lady. 0:12:08.840 --> 0:12:11.280 If they're going to force me to be friends with people, 0:12:12.200 --> 0:12:14.199 then I'm going to be drinking. Are your events not 0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:16.000 alcohol free or do you go to them? 0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:19.040 We haven't been to I don't know. Wow, we haven't 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:21.719 had any. Actually we had one wrap up party, not 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:23.960 wrap up party, rap up. We had one like welcome 0:12:24.040 --> 0:12:27.439 party for the kindie okay, after hours on a Friday, 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:29.520 and it was kids too. Kids went. 0:12:29.640 --> 0:12:32.280 I was down the coast so I wasn't there. Do 0:12:32.320 --> 0:12:34.199 you know if it was our colfer it I don't know. 0:12:34.320 --> 0:12:35.240 I will ask for you. 0:12:35.840 --> 0:12:38.880 I think if you do it look as a school okay, 0:12:39.040 --> 0:12:42.320 I get it inside school hours. No not rocking up 0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:45.040 to a midday assembly, and least anyone someone would be 0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:49.079 if you have But like I think, if you're okay, 0:12:49.200 --> 0:12:52.479 hey Friday afternoon, after school hours. 0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:54.240 You should have a tipple. You should be allowed to 0:12:54.280 --> 0:12:57.000 have a tipple. I'm not saying get like hammered. I 0:12:57.120 --> 0:12:59.920 had like eight beers, but that's not the point. That's 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:04.560 I can. I can handle it. And then a bit 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:07.520 of math. But I think if you. 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:10.559 Have to say you're joking, because people might oh shit, yeah, sorry, 0:13:12.320 --> 0:13:14.760 might not know that you're not being I'm not a 0:13:14.840 --> 0:13:19.120 math head yet, but I think that they should be. 0:13:19.800 --> 0:13:21.719 You should be able to have a tipple. Yeah, I 0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:24.120 agree with that. Okay, but well done. Well done for 0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:27.000 your ingenuity. I thought that was groundbreaking. 0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:27.400 You are. 0:13:27.679 --> 0:13:31.319 You're a very magiv. I'm the magiver of beer drinking. 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:33.760 Oh yeah, next time I'll come up with something a 0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:36.160 little bit more. I'll just strap it to a child. 0:13:36.360 --> 0:13:40.319 I'll be like, let me have a sip. Hey, you 0:13:40.440 --> 0:13:43.040 did something before I pisced on the floor. I get it. No, 0:13:43.960 --> 0:13:47.439 not that one. You found something that you shouldn't have. 0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:52.640 It's a photo of ultrasound because we're having a baby. 0:13:52.880 --> 0:14:00.480 Whoa, But I kind of already knew who. I just 0:14:00.640 --> 0:14:05.000 tell how I tried to pour your lovely wife, Laura. Congratulations. 0:14:05.080 --> 0:14:10.080 By the way, I'm holding photo of a young fetus, 0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:15.760 a beautiful Johnson fetus. Is it a boy or a girl? 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:20.240 We don't know. I didn't shock right now. 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:23.640 I know I tried to pour Laura a drink when 0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:26.160 we when you return from the jungle, and that drink 0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:33.120 was denied, and I had a suspicion. I had suspicions. 0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:38.640 I also haven't seen Laura in a while. Also, yeah, 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:41.320 that's probably about it. And I know there's been talk 0:14:41.360 --> 0:14:45.120 about it, and I just knew. Also, someone might have 0:14:45.160 --> 0:14:45.720 spilled the beans. 0:14:45.800 --> 0:14:49.280 Who who? I'm not telling me I know, because I 0:14:49.280 --> 0:14:51.800 will get in trouble. Just tell me I forced it 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:56.320 out of someone. Who give me some ellie? Yeah? Did 0:14:56.440 --> 0:14:59.360 you have her against the wall? Literally that war? 0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:01.880 I have her against that wall right there? Because I 0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:03.960 said to Laura, I was like, hey, I brought some 0:15:04.160 --> 0:15:07.560 margaritas the can and it's look one can, it's like 0:15:07.560 --> 0:15:10.000 two and a half standard drinks. Like I'm trying to 0:15:10.040 --> 0:15:13.400 get lit here. Yeah, And I was like, do you 0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:15.920 want to go halves? And she was like yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:18.080 very tentative. And I was and I look over your 0:15:18.120 --> 0:15:18.640 mum and she was like. 0:15:19.560 --> 0:15:27.680 I was like, okay, she's signaling like, don't do that. 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:31.840 She's so Because she was so, I was like, do 0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:32.720 you know what I did? After that? 0:15:32.880 --> 0:15:34.520 I looked at her and I was like, come here, 0:15:35.200 --> 0:15:37.840 and she was like she knew a white straightaway that 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:39.880 I was going to crack this safe immediately. 0:15:40.720 --> 0:15:44.480 And I was like, you better tell me right what's gone? 0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:47.640 What did she say? She's a terrible liar And she 0:15:47.760 --> 0:15:48.720 was like, no, I can't. 0:15:50.560 --> 0:15:52.880 I can't tell me. That's exactly what she sounds like. 0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:55.920 I could never I could never tell you and I 0:15:56.000 --> 0:15:57.120 was like, what are we going to do. Is I'm 0:15:57.120 --> 0:15:58.600 going to ask you a question, You're going to nod 0:15:58.680 --> 0:16:01.520 your head. And I was like, is Laura pregnant? 0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:04.960 And she was like yeah. I was wondering where she 0:16:05.040 --> 0:16:07.640 got those bruises from. Sorry about that. And then I 0:16:07.800 --> 0:16:11.360 was like I was like, fucking okay, all right, I 0:16:11.480 --> 0:16:13.280 know it and I know it now. And she was like, oh, 0:16:13.640 --> 0:16:14.240 don't tell them. 0:16:14.280 --> 0:16:19.320 I told you they beat me, so congratulations. I already knew, 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:23.120 but congratulations, this is going to ruin us financially. 0:16:25.440 --> 0:16:28.000 So we got give me a look at this baby. 0:16:28.120 --> 0:16:28.800 When are we? 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:33.040 Okay? Hang on November? No, sooner October October? Baby, I 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:38.000 was close. It's late October there, right, No, what it's in. 0:16:38.080 --> 0:16:42.560 Mid We were trying before I went into the jungle, 0:16:42.680 --> 0:16:47.320 just in case you didn't come back. The plan was 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:51.240 we said this year twenty twenty five, if we are 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:52.800 going to have a third, this will be the year 0:16:52.840 --> 0:16:57.200 that it happens. Because I'm conscious that Marley and Lola 0:16:57.280 --> 0:17:01.440 really close together. They're about eighteen months Nowlas just turned four, 0:17:01.600 --> 0:17:03.080 and I was like, if it doesn't happen this year, 0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:05.560 you know, it's a big gap. It's a big gap. 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:08.159 Also, it's like accidental gap, you know. We were like, oh, 0:17:08.240 --> 0:17:10.879 it must have been an Actually it's like it's. 0:17:10.720 --> 0:17:13.359 A bit of double edged sword in that great because Marley, 0:17:13.840 --> 0:17:16.280 I guess, the older she comes, the older she turns, 0:17:16.359 --> 0:17:19.040 the more capable she is as a second third parent 0:17:20.080 --> 0:17:22.840 the main parent, which is great. But then we're like, 0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:24.920 we don't want you with that third child to still 0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:27.520 be friends with Marley and Lola. 0:17:28.520 --> 0:17:30.399 And the third child always gets forgotten about it. 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:32.360 Like they do, don't they You're the thing, Oh yeah, 0:17:32.600 --> 0:17:36.320 like you know exactly how how I turned out. But 0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:39.240 we said we're going to try, and we're kind of 0:17:39.280 --> 0:17:42.760 even said, we're like, if it doesn't happen before the jungle, 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:44.440 like by the time I come back, it's going to 0:17:44.480 --> 0:17:47.320 be February, you know. And they're like, you know, for 0:17:47.400 --> 0:17:48.960 those who don't know, it takes nine months for a 0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:51.800 baby to grow in a woman's body. Then we're like, oh, 0:17:51.840 --> 0:17:54.280 that's pushing in the two thousand and twenty six. 0:17:54.960 --> 0:17:58.119 Yeah, and we're kind of like, I have a summer baby, 0:17:58.280 --> 0:18:02.119 like immediate, like you know, no October, it's still it's close. 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:06.199 But so and I said to Laura, if I make 0:18:06.280 --> 0:18:08.639 it to the end of the jungle, and I was like, 0:18:08.720 --> 0:18:10.720 fucking tell me, like if if you get if you'll 0:18:10.760 --> 0:18:13.119 find out you're pregnant whilst I'm away when you come 0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:17.280 on the show, Like tell me, right. So then obviously 0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:19.520 she didn't tell me, and then I kind of didn't. 0:18:19.680 --> 0:18:21.800 It wasn't like front of mine. But we came back 0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:25.200 from the jungle and I was like, oh, I guess 0:18:26.320 --> 0:18:29.440 you're not pregnant, and she was like nah, I was 0:18:29.520 --> 0:18:31.760 thinking about it and probably like not the wisest thing 0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:33.080 for us to do, right We're in a really good 0:18:33.080 --> 0:18:33.760 position right now. 0:18:34.359 --> 0:18:37.280 And I was like, yeah, do you know what you know? 0:18:37.320 --> 0:18:40.080 I was like, you're probably right, Like what were we thinking? 0:18:40.200 --> 0:18:43.719 Trying to have a third Man's pretty crazy? And then 0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:47.560 and then there's a video. I'm assuming by the time 0:18:47.640 --> 0:18:50.560 this comes out, this video will be posted. But Laura 0:18:50.680 --> 0:18:53.840 then she goes, oh, someone gave me a scratchy and 0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:56.920 you scratch it. And I was like, oh, a little 0:18:56.960 --> 0:18:59.960 scratch scratchy. Sure, So I'm scratching it. And it was 0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:03.879 a really bad quality scratchy, like it was at a 0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:07.240 coin And as I was scratching off the top layer, 0:19:07.880 --> 0:19:10.520 it would then take that first layer off and then 0:19:10.560 --> 0:19:13.119 when you went to reveal like what's printed underneath, it 0:19:13.280 --> 0:19:15.399 was taking the print off as well, and. 0:19:15.440 --> 0:19:16.240 I was like, this is. 0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:19.720 I was like, and I was. 0:19:19.920 --> 0:19:21.080 It was one of those hard ones where I was 0:19:21.080 --> 0:19:22.720 trying to figure it out, like it was like match 0:19:22.800 --> 0:19:24.359 four of these icons, and if you get two of 0:19:24.400 --> 0:19:25.920 this one, it means you get that one on the 0:19:25.960 --> 0:19:27.560 first right, which underneath that one there. 0:19:27.600 --> 0:19:31.359 Is that how you get pregnant. Do the scratchy. So 0:19:31.400 --> 0:19:33.800 I'm scratching and I'm like, this is shit, throw it 0:19:33.880 --> 0:19:37.480 out and then she's like, keep on scratching, and then 0:19:38.359 --> 0:19:39.040 you scratch it. 0:19:39.320 --> 0:19:41.600 It was like fifteen icons and then then like a 0:19:41.640 --> 0:19:43.960 little tiny bottom right one it said you're having a baby, 0:19:44.000 --> 0:19:49.200 and I was like, where's the money? And then I 0:19:49.359 --> 0:19:51.560 was like I was very confused, and also I was 0:19:51.960 --> 0:19:53.920 in the mindset of like do we want to have 0:19:54.040 --> 0:19:54.440 a third? 0:19:54.560 --> 0:19:56.399 Yeah? You were like talking yourself out of it. 0:19:56.520 --> 0:20:01.960 We were straddling both sides of the party. Nice I 0:20:02.119 --> 0:20:03.119 was now I'm got visuals. 0:20:03.400 --> 0:20:03.920 One hand. 0:20:03.920 --> 0:20:06.040 We were like, it'll be amazing to have three kids. 0:20:06.560 --> 0:20:08.600 You know, I grew up was one of five. Imagine 0:20:08.720 --> 0:20:11.600 when we're older having a house full of three children 0:20:11.680 --> 0:20:14.320 and their partner's beautiful. But then on the other hand, 0:20:14.359 --> 0:20:16.600 I'm like, we're kind of like out of the trenches. 0:20:16.240 --> 0:20:19.680 Now, yeah, you like you're talking now. I don't want 0:20:19.720 --> 0:20:23.040 to sound you're talking now. Back to bassin there. 0:20:23.320 --> 0:20:26.520 Back to we don't we don't use nappies in the 0:20:26.560 --> 0:20:28.640