WEBVTT - I Financially Supported a Friend In Debt… Then They Got IVF!?

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<v Speaker 1>My name is Satasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations

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<v Speaker 1>woman and I'm here to acknowledge country. Te Glenn Young

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<v Speaker 1>Ganya Niana, Kaka yah Ya Binahwaka nian urka in Nimbini,

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<v Speaker 1>yakarum Jar, Dominyagumika Umaga, Ihowaka, Nile Waman damon Immalan Bumba

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<v Speaker 1>bang Gadabama in and now in Waka ghana on yak

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<v Speaker 1>rum Jar Watanadaa. Hello, beautiful friends, we gather on the

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<v Speaker 1>lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank, acknowledge and respect

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<v Speaker 1>the Abiginal people's land that we're gathering on today. Take

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<v Speaker 1>pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see.

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<v Speaker 1>She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections,

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<v Speaker 1>bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive.

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<v Speaker 2>She's on the Money. She's on the Money. Hello, friends,

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<v Speaker 2>and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast that

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<v Speaker 2>makes personal finances fun, especially on a Friday, that grand

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<v Speaker 2>old time of the week where we gather around the

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<v Speaker 2>recording studio to celebrate and commiserate with you our wonderful community.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm Victoria Devine and joining me for Friday Drinks is

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<v Speaker 2>none other than our friend Beck Sayed and miss Jesse Garci.

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<v Speaker 2>They've got money wins, they've got broke tips, and they've

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<v Speaker 2>got nothing but love for you guys. On today's episode,

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<v Speaker 2>we're covering, I would say, a pretty timely money dilemma

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<v Speaker 2>about superannuation, and honestly, there's no better time to take

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<v Speaker 2>a very close look at yours. We're also going to

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<v Speaker 2>be discussing a very spusy DM that involves gently pairing

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<v Speaker 2>back on your financial support that you've been giving to

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<v Speaker 2>a friend. Oh, this sounds like it might sting a

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<v Speaker 2>little at the same time, the good, the bad, and

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<v Speaker 2>the taxing. We do love a money dilemma, so please

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<v Speaker 2>my friends send them our way by visiting the She's

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<v Speaker 2>on the Money website and then tapping the little link

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<v Speaker 2>to record a message. Right there, we play all of

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<v Speaker 2>your voicemails out in the office and we might just

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<v Speaker 2>answer yours on our next episode. Also, guys, you ready,

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<v Speaker 2>this is something that we never skip. Oh my god,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so excited. You know, you know it's a five

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<v Speaker 2>star review. It's five star review time where we seek

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<v Speaker 2>out your sweet little words of support across the potosphere

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<v Speaker 2>and gather them for safe keeping like a sweet little

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know written trinket. If you would like to

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<v Speaker 2>share your trinkets with us, my friends, please go rate

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<v Speaker 2>the podcast wherever you are tuning in from Apple Podcasts,

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<v Speaker 2>Spotify comments wherever. Guys we have a review. It is

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<v Speaker 2>from our friend deb Y. Deb says, guys, do I

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<v Speaker 2>have a five star review for you? I started listening

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<v Speaker 2>to the podcast randomly a few years ago, but at

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<v Speaker 2>the end of last year, I found myself in financial difficulty,

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<v Speaker 2>facing uncertainty with paying my mortgage, and hitting absolute rock

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<v Speaker 2>bottom with my mental health. That's when I started binging

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<v Speaker 2>Cheese on the Money. I'm now investing, have a growing

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<v Speaker 2>savings account, and feel more financially stable than I ever

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<v Speaker 2>have before. Five stars just isn't enough for the life

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<v Speaker 2>saving inspiration and empowerment that the team gives to the

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<v Speaker 2>Sheese on the Money community. From the bottom of my

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<v Speaker 2>heart and my bank account, Thank you, Oh, that's so

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<v Speaker 2>cute you.

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<v Speaker 3>Can help, and happy that you're out of that stressful

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<v Speaker 3>period as well.

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<v Speaker 2>I know it's amazing. I don't know if it makes

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<v Speaker 2>me sad or proud or excited or upset. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I just it makes me sad that so many of

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<v Speaker 2>our community find us when they're at their rock bottom.

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<v Speaker 2>But also like how lucky are we to be? Like

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<v Speaker 2>hopefully that like, come in, come in, We've got you.

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<v Speaker 2>That's cool, Like we'll give you the tips and the tricks,

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<v Speaker 2>and we don't have any judgment whatsoever, and we'll put

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<v Speaker 2>you in the best possible position. So thank you for

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<v Speaker 2>thanking us from the bottom of your heart and your

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<v Speaker 2>bank account. I thought that was really cute. Thank you,

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<v Speaker 2>dam that's so sweet, it's soact. I love it all right.

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<v Speaker 2>So that one was a good one, I think, really wholesome.

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<v Speaker 2>But you know what else is kind of wholesome. It's

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<v Speaker 2>our question of the week. This community member's question goes

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<v Speaker 2>exactly like this. Oh my god, beautiful people, I have

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<v Speaker 2>a Friday drinks question that I have been meaning to

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<v Speaker 2>ask and want to know the answer to so desperately.

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<v Speaker 2>If you could receive this is so Jessica richie, if

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<v Speaker 2>you could perceive a homemade goodie basket or hamper, what

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<v Speaker 2>would you want someone to put.

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<v Speaker 3>In it for you?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, that's a very cute question. It is very's wholesome

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<v Speaker 2>and also just for those of you following along who

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<v Speaker 2>might not know jessic Ricci as well as we do.

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<v Speaker 2>She's the Queen of the hamper.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, I do love a good hamper.

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<v Speaker 2>You do love a good bite, but we're talking like

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<v Speaker 2>curated for you in a pretty box, Like she gifts

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<v Speaker 2>the best gifts, so straight under the bus, jest, what

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<v Speaker 2>do you want in your hamper?

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<v Speaker 3>I love a little homemade, handmade gift. I feel like

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<v Speaker 3>a sweet treat is always winning with me because I'm

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<v Speaker 3>a big sweet tooth. Something preferably chocolatey based for.

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<v Speaker 2>A Roches, do love one? I would put a whole

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<v Speaker 2>boxer for a Roches?

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<v Speaker 3>I do, yes, my favorite because I can't buy them

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<v Speaker 3>for myself.

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<v Speaker 2>Is we all know not in this economy. I'm so sorry,

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<v Speaker 2>absolutely not, absolutely not.

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<v Speaker 3>I should say it's like a home mate, so like

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<v Speaker 3>they're making the gifts to go in the basket. So

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<v Speaker 3>I would love you know what I would love? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>something knitted, but I also know that like knitting a

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<v Speaker 3>garment is very very time consuming, but like there's I

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<v Speaker 3>have lots of knits pinned on my Pinterest that are

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<v Speaker 3>like obviously people have made themselves and they look so

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<v Speaker 3>beautiful and such good quality, but also like I know

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<v Speaker 3>that that would take somebody a long time. So maybe

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<v Speaker 3>a scarf if not a jumper or something like that

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<v Speaker 3>would be really cool to get, okay, or oh you

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<v Speaker 3>know what, our friend Michelle, she made us a few

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<v Speaker 3>years ago, these little shower steamer things that you like,

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<v Speaker 3>put them in your shower and they make it smell

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<v Speaker 3>really good. Oh yeah, they were really nice.

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<v Speaker 2>There are lots of.

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<v Speaker 3>Fun little things you can make to put in a hamper,

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<v Speaker 3>anything made with love.

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<v Speaker 2>I love.

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<v Speaker 4>I didn't take the homemade aspect and so that will

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<v Speaker 4>make me, I guess, like change my decision, but.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, don't What do you want in your hamper?

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<v Speaker 4>But what I really want is just like a lot,

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<v Speaker 4>maybe two or three packets of chocolate Scotch fingers.

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<v Speaker 2>Ideally you do a scott I do love a scotchyter

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<v Speaker 2>all together. Now, I would like some tea bags to

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<v Speaker 2>go with that. I kind of want like in my hamper.

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<v Speaker 4>I wanted to be like, I want the person to

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<v Speaker 4>curate my night for me, so I want them to

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<v Speaker 4>like tell me what I'm doing via hamper, And so

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<v Speaker 4>it's gonna be tea bags gonna be I know I

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<v Speaker 4>was gonna be a cut in a bond Soy and

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<v Speaker 4>then it's gonna be so I'm like, okay, I know

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<v Speaker 4>that they want me to have.

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<v Speaker 2>Tea and they want me to eat Scotch fingers. He

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<v Speaker 2>still on the bon Soy train. I am not the happy,

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<v Speaker 2>happy Soy boy so sweet that you remember that. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I thought you to rich that I do.

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<v Speaker 3>But there's something about bon Soy, but no, I actually.

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<v Speaker 2>Like oat milk and my tea.

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<v Speaker 4>To take that back, the alternative milkoat oat.

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<v Speaker 2>Milk will be in my hamper, Okay, I can because

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<v Speaker 2>I ordered that online even like it's my oat milk

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<v Speaker 2>choice and I have to have it in my coffees

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<v Speaker 2>at home. Oh my god, totally you can't buy it

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<v Speaker 2>at the supermarket. Yeah, what the hell? I can be

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<v Speaker 2>your oat milk dealer. Thank you, yours coming from you?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. It would have Jeska Ricki's sneaker

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<v Speaker 2>doodle what I we can both have because I'll update,

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<v Speaker 2>I'll update. I don't want those anyway. And then there's

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<v Speaker 2>gonna be some sort of I like a shower steamer.

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<v Speaker 4>I think there's also gonna be like a DVD in

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<v Speaker 4>there that's like, you don't have to think about what

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<v Speaker 4>movie you're gonna watch.

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<v Speaker 2>There's here's a DVD.

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<v Speaker 3>You just pop it on and school.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, well I have no idea and no way to

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<v Speaker 4>play it, but I'll know that that's what they intended.

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<v Speaker 2>I love it all right. Well, I don't want Jessica

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<v Speaker 2>cookies because I want her pecan toffee once. Yeah, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>so I would argue even better? They were so no

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<v Speaker 2>you did you? Did you remember the ones? They were

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<v Speaker 2>like kind of friends giving. I don't know if you

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<v Speaker 2>had them. Didn't you bring them into the studio because

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<v Speaker 2>we made you make them again? Maybe? Anyway, they are

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<v Speaker 2>like this cinnamony like caramely biscuit and that like is

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<v Speaker 2>pressed like into like a dip, right, and they like

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<v Speaker 2>felt like they had the coating, correct me if I'm wrong,

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<v Speaker 2>jess the coating of like a cinnamon donut on the

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<v Speaker 2>outside of the cookie. Don't remember these? And then they

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<v Speaker 2>were like the caramelized peacans sitting in the top. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>oh filthy. I loved it. So I want basically a

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<v Speaker 2>whole hamper of those. I wouldn't mind a new wheat pack.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh that's a good one, yea. I wouldn't find a

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<v Speaker 2>new wheat pack. We're going into winter, and I just

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<v Speaker 2>pulled mine out and I was like, well, I've definitely

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<v Speaker 2>been using this and it's obvious for the last fifteen years.

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<v Speaker 2>And the knitted thing sounds really cute, right, So like

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<v Speaker 2>one of my friends CC, her mom has been knitting

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<v Speaker 2>her kids jumpers cute, and prior to having kids, I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, cool, what a nana like activity. And now

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, that is so wholesome. I wish my mom

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't knit like Judy step off, like, why are you knitting?

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<v Speaker 2>Don't knit, Judy, That's fine, but it's so cute. But yes,

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<v Speaker 2>I lean into the like knitted thing and like maybe

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<v Speaker 2>like a knitted pair of like bed socks or something

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<v Speaker 2>really wholesome, right, and like one of those fluffy materials. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>so that's what I want in my homemade hamper. I

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<v Speaker 2>actually thought that Beck was going to say, I want

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<v Speaker 2>a whole hamper a visa gift cards is what I

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<v Speaker 2>thought you And I was like, that would be so smart,

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<v Speaker 2>genius for cookies and songs. Anyway, I feel like I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like we could go on and on forever about

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<v Speaker 2>what we want, but I do love a hamper and

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<v Speaker 2>I loved that question even more. That was really sweet.

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<v Speaker 2>Now for something that you'll hopefully love even more than that,

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<v Speaker 2>Money wins Where Miss Jessic Gricci. She's scoured the comments section,

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<v Speaker 2>our DMS and general mail to find out what you

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<v Speaker 2>guys have been celebrating this week. Miss Jessic Gricci. What

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<v Speaker 2>have you got?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>Right?

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<v Speaker 3>A start off this week with one from it?

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<v Speaker 2>Hold On, hold on? Don't you have a money win

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<v Speaker 2>this week? Oh? I do have a money win? Can

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<v Speaker 2>we start at the top the for sure? I'm so sorry.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, hold on, I know that community is important,

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<v Speaker 2>but our team group chat has been popping off over this.

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<v Speaker 3>Tell me this is your sign to enter those dumb

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<v Speaker 3>little online competitions that you don't think anyone wins. Because

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<v Speaker 3>I entered one this week and I won.

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<v Speaker 2>What did you win?

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<v Speaker 3>I wanted Doctor Dennis gross alid Mass, which is one

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<v Speaker 3>hundred dollars light mask and the crazy.

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<v Speaker 2>The one that I spent an exorbitant amount of money on,

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<v Speaker 2>and I great it. I love it, got it for free.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm so excited. It was like a shopping center. It

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<v Speaker 3>was high point anyone on the West Side, and it

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<v Speaker 3>wasn't even in person. It was one that like popped

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<v Speaker 3>up on Facebook. They were obviously doing like data collection,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, popping your email answer in twenty five words

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<v Speaker 3>or less, like why you come to the shopping center?

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<v Speaker 3>And I was like, obviously it's Sizara and the big

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<v Speaker 3>Mecca and it's.

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<v Speaker 2>Been good at that. You would have scripted something really nice. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>didn't take very long.

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<v Speaker 3>Didn't think twice about it, to be honest. And then

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<v Speaker 3>last night literally I got an email and I sent

0:10:58.200 --> 0:10:59.679
<v Speaker 3>it in the group slack because I was like, guys,

0:11:00.000 --> 0:11:00.640
<v Speaker 3>this is amazing.

0:11:03.280 --> 0:11:05.959
<v Speaker 2>So you like, now you have an LED mask and

0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:08.360
<v Speaker 2>I feel like you've been talking about one for ages

0:11:08.400 --> 0:11:11.080
<v Speaker 2>but you were like they're so expensive, absolutely not, maybe

0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:14.880
<v Speaker 2>they won't work. The universe has provided you arguably the

0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:17.840
<v Speaker 2>best one on market. I am so grateful.

0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:20.080
<v Speaker 3>I'm so excited, and yeah, so this is your sign.

0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:22.560
<v Speaker 3>Everybody just like, what's the worst that could happen?

0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:25.520
<v Speaker 2>Take plun But I also really like what this means

0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:28.640
<v Speaker 2>for this. She's on the Money team aesthetic not because

0:11:28.640 --> 0:11:30.520
<v Speaker 2>we're all going to get hotter because we're using a

0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:33.800
<v Speaker 2>LED mask, but Brooke and I like to turn up

0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:37.360
<v Speaker 2>to our team meetings with our masks on. It's all

0:11:37.400 --> 0:11:39.440
<v Speaker 2>going to look like we're out of Star Wars. Yeah,

0:11:39.559 --> 0:11:41.080
<v Speaker 2>hell yeah, yeah, I can't wait.

0:11:41.320 --> 0:11:44.080
<v Speaker 3>So it's so stay tuned. Photos coming Soon's I'm sure

0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:46.680
<v Speaker 3>all right. This week, I'll start with one from Tiffany

0:11:46.760 --> 0:11:48.960
<v Speaker 3>who said, I went to the laundrette on Friday as

0:11:49.000 --> 0:11:52.040
<v Speaker 3>it was my thirtieth visit. I got two loads for free.

0:11:52.320 --> 0:11:54.680
<v Speaker 3>Oh the money I saved when straightened my savings account,

0:11:54.720 --> 0:11:57.160
<v Speaker 3>and I feel like every dollar really counts these days.

0:11:57.720 --> 0:12:01.319
<v Speaker 3>So true, absolutely, so true. Then am I said money Win.

0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:03.560
<v Speaker 3>Don't forget you can apply for the twenty percent rebate

0:12:03.640 --> 0:12:06.000
<v Speaker 3>on your Redgo if you're in Vixoy.

0:12:06.160 --> 0:12:07.800
<v Speaker 2>I forgot about that completely.

0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:08.720
<v Speaker 3>I did it yesterday.

0:12:08.880 --> 0:12:10.119
<v Speaker 2>Do not do it for everybody.

0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:12.520
<v Speaker 3>It's for literally everybody. If you've paid your redo, even

0:12:12.559 --> 0:12:15.319
<v Speaker 3>if you only paid part I believe they'll pro rata it.

0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:17.560
<v Speaker 3>They work it all out for you, which is awesome.

0:12:17.840 --> 0:12:18.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, done again.

0:12:19.040 --> 0:12:21.559
<v Speaker 3>So download the services up so it literally is like

0:12:21.640 --> 0:12:24.719
<v Speaker 3>two clicks. It's so easy. And then they email me

0:12:24.800 --> 0:12:26.760
<v Speaker 3>back within twenty four hours and said, yep, confirmed you

0:12:26.800 --> 0:12:28.199
<v Speaker 3>getting two hundred and twenty dollars back.

0:12:28.600 --> 0:12:31.360
<v Speaker 2>Isn't that crazy that it's just not automatic? Like it's

0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:33.719
<v Speaker 2>smart from them to not make it automatic because it

0:12:33.760 --> 0:12:35.600
<v Speaker 2>means they're going to save money because so many people

0:12:35.640 --> 0:12:37.480
<v Speaker 2>are going to either miss this or just like not

0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:41.920
<v Speaker 2>do their life admins. So like from a budget perspective,

0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:45.160
<v Speaker 2>it doesn't make sense for them to automate it. Yeah,

0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:49.079
<v Speaker 2>but like yueens, go and do your life admin and

0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:50.360
<v Speaker 2>tell a body money.

0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:52.839
<v Speaker 3>I messaged my friend group chat immediately said, guys, don't

0:12:52.880 --> 0:12:54.040
<v Speaker 3>forget today's the day, so.

0:12:54.600 --> 0:12:55.400
<v Speaker 2>Tell the people you know.

0:12:55.600 --> 0:12:56.480
<v Speaker 3>Anyone who's got a car.

0:12:56.720 --> 0:12:58.640
<v Speaker 2>You're also had a great witch, got two hundred and

0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:01.800
<v Speaker 2>twenty bucks back, got it defaced us. I'm in there,

0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:02.839
<v Speaker 2>You're sorry.

0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:07.160
<v Speaker 3>Next, I've got a money in from Caitlin who said

0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:09.800
<v Speaker 3>she went to cancel her paramount. Plus they've given her

0:13:09.920 --> 0:13:13.160
<v Speaker 3>two months at ninety nine cents social cuep but for

0:13:13.240 --> 0:13:15.000
<v Speaker 3>two more months, watch a few more things, then probably

0:13:15.040 --> 0:13:15.800
<v Speaker 3>get rid of it after that.

0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:18.840
<v Speaker 2>That is so funny because I've been doing a little

0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:23.360
<v Speaker 2>bit of a sponsorship audit recently, and I threatened my

0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:27.480
<v Speaker 2>New York Times subscription because like, if you're in my team,

0:13:27.600 --> 0:13:30.600
<v Speaker 2>you know I love a word. I love a saduko.

0:13:30.600 --> 0:13:33.480
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, I do it every day, like every day

0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:36.440
<v Speaker 2>over coffee. My husband and I this is so lame.

0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:40.320
<v Speaker 2>We do connections, we do wordle, we do the strands together,

0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:43.440
<v Speaker 2>and then I do my Saduco quietly and if our

0:13:43.520 --> 0:13:46.040
<v Speaker 2>baby christ that's on him. I'm busy doing my suduco.

0:13:46.720 --> 0:13:49.640
<v Speaker 2>But I threatened my subscription by being like cancel and

0:13:49.720 --> 0:13:51.400
<v Speaker 2>it gave me fifty percent off and I was like

0:13:51.640 --> 0:13:53.640
<v Speaker 2>thank you. So then I went through and I've been

0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:57.800
<v Speaker 2>like threatening all of my other subscriptions and like going

0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:00.880
<v Speaker 2>through to like the cancel before you hear like confirm,

0:14:01.320 --> 0:14:03.199
<v Speaker 2>just to see if they give me a discount offering.

0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:05.800
<v Speaker 2>A few of them did amazing. So this week, yes,

0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:09.080
<v Speaker 2>we're gonna threaten our subscriptions. Yeah, get on the cancel store.

0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:11.640
<v Speaker 2>Push it towards the edge. See what happens. I mean,

0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:13.840
<v Speaker 2>you can back off if you want the subscription still,

0:14:13.840 --> 0:14:15.920
<v Speaker 2>but you didn't get a discount, you'd be like fine,

0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:19.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna keep you by least you tried literally no harm.

0:14:19.840 --> 0:14:21.880
<v Speaker 3>Next, I've got money win from Jamie who said money

0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:24.600
<v Speaker 3>and chocolate win. Williz didn't have the side of Cabri

0:14:24.720 --> 0:14:26.920
<v Speaker 3>Favorites that she had ordered, so they gave her three

0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:29.040
<v Speaker 3>small boxes to make up for the missing big one.

0:14:29.560 --> 0:14:32.040
<v Speaker 3>She ended up with more chocolate and it cost her

0:14:32.120 --> 0:14:34.840
<v Speaker 3>the same amount. That's a good money, great, great money win.

0:14:34.920 --> 0:14:35.720
<v Speaker 3>We love a chocolate money.

0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:38.480
<v Speaker 2>We So you just got two presents for like other people.

0:14:38.320 --> 0:14:41.520
<v Speaker 3>I reckon genuinely. And then last of this week, I've

0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:43.480
<v Speaker 3>got one from Jackie who said it's my birthday today,

0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:47.240
<v Speaker 3>so I've been getting my freebies all day. Money win Jackie.

0:14:47.920 --> 0:14:50.160
<v Speaker 3>And this is my reminder because all three of our

0:14:50.160 --> 0:14:53.080
<v Speaker 3>birthdays are coming up. Last year, we all said we're

0:14:53.080 --> 0:14:54.760
<v Speaker 3>gonna get all our subscriptions. I was like, I'm going

0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:56.760
<v Speaker 3>to film a video. I forgot you need to be

0:14:56.760 --> 0:14:59.480
<v Speaker 3>signed up for things two weeks ahead. So this year, okay,

0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:02.560
<v Speaker 3>I've waited a whole yeah to film this video of

0:15:02.640 --> 0:15:04.360
<v Speaker 3>like all the things that you can get for your birthday.

0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:06.200
<v Speaker 3>Love this And he's my remind for both of you

0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:08.680
<v Speaker 3>to like sign up for everything because your birthdays so

0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:09.840
<v Speaker 3>we're also close together.

0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:13.040
<v Speaker 2>And also if you're in our Facebook group, go to

0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:15.840
<v Speaker 2>the search bar and type in birthday freebies because there

0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:18.760
<v Speaker 2>is a whole thread that people have been contributing to

0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:22.200
<v Speaker 2>of places that you can get free stuff. Yeah, free boost, juice,

0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:25.200
<v Speaker 2>free movie, chickets free like everything, but for your birthday,

0:15:25.360 --> 0:15:28.880
<v Speaker 2>So go and sign them up. And also if you

0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:31.440
<v Speaker 2>want to sign up your friends, you could definitely do

0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:33.400
<v Speaker 2>that and then send them a little cute birthday message

0:15:33.400 --> 0:15:35.800
<v Speaker 2>and be like, hey, by the way, I signed you

0:15:35.960 --> 0:15:38.080
<v Speaker 2>up for your birthday stuff, so you'll have a free

0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:40.440
<v Speaker 2>ABC and d imagine that if you didn't have any

0:15:40.520 --> 0:15:41.520
<v Speaker 2>cash to give them a gift.

0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:42.400
<v Speaker 3>That's really fae.

0:15:42.600 --> 0:15:45.320
<v Speaker 2>That's a great idea, thinks I came up with it myself.

0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:50.040
<v Speaker 2>Miss Beck, have you got some broke tips? I sure do.

0:15:50.560 --> 0:15:53.240
<v Speaker 4>That one comes from Nora, who says, cancel all your

0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:56.320
<v Speaker 4>subscriptions and borrow DVDs from the library and call it

0:15:56.480 --> 0:15:58.800
<v Speaker 4>movie nights. I think it's a really cut idea of you, like,

0:15:59.080 --> 0:16:01.360
<v Speaker 4>grab some really cheapn go to the library. I didn't

0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:03.600
<v Speaker 4>even know you could get DVDs from a library, but like,

0:16:03.760 --> 0:16:06.200
<v Speaker 4>pretend it's like a Blockbuster. This is more for like,

0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:08.400
<v Speaker 4>if you have children, you can trick them into thinking

0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:11.120
<v Speaker 4>into Blockbuster. But it also works if you're an adult.

0:16:11.400 --> 0:16:13.720
<v Speaker 4>And it isn't that funny that DVDs a hot theme

0:16:13.800 --> 0:16:16.120
<v Speaker 4>in this episode, So I think it's a great idea.

0:16:16.240 --> 0:16:19.080
<v Speaker 4>This next one comes from Mona, who says vacuum sealing foods,

0:16:19.120 --> 0:16:23.440
<v Speaker 4>particularly freezer foods, make them last so much longer. The

0:16:23.520 --> 0:16:25.640
<v Speaker 4>next one is for myself, and I tried, well, I

0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:27.680
<v Speaker 4>didn't do this intentionally, but I didn't take a cart

0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:30.360
<v Speaker 4>or a trolley into the shops, and I just realized

0:16:30.400 --> 0:16:33.040
<v Speaker 4>you really end up buying what you need and nothing more.

0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:35.240
<v Speaker 4>So I'm my breakdip for this week is to not

0:16:35.400 --> 0:16:38.280
<v Speaker 4>take any sort of like anything that will help you

0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:40.200
<v Speaker 4>carry things around, because you end up putting so much

0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:42.080
<v Speaker 4>more on your basket or your trolley. If you go

0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:43.840
<v Speaker 4>in knowing like, oh, I need to get three things

0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:46.560
<v Speaker 4>and that's literally physically all you can carry, you end

0:16:46.680 --> 0:16:48.880
<v Speaker 4>up really not overspending.

0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:51.480
<v Speaker 3>If you can't carry, you can't buy. You can't carry

0:16:52.360 --> 0:16:54.280
<v Speaker 3>people do It's like you've got sixty seconds. You can

0:16:54.360 --> 0:16:56.160
<v Speaker 3>as many books as you can pick up in the bookstore.

0:16:56.160 --> 0:16:59.560
<v Speaker 3>You can like buy, Yeah, but with groceries exactly exactly.

0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:01.760
<v Speaker 4>You don't polls by, so I think that, Yeah, just

0:17:01.880 --> 0:17:04.200
<v Speaker 4>challenge yourself to try not to take anything in with you.

0:17:04.640 --> 0:17:06.600
<v Speaker 2>I ask you and Fate that the other day. I

0:17:06.760 --> 0:17:09.600
<v Speaker 2>was forced to do that because when you become a mom,

0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:12.480
<v Speaker 2>you got to buy annoying things you got to buy

0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:14.800
<v Speaker 2>or I do formula and nappies.

0:17:15.040 --> 0:17:17.800
<v Speaker 3>It's cylindrical, it's hard to get it and bulky.

0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:20.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, the box of nappy I'm not gonna buy, like

0:17:20.440 --> 0:17:22.800
<v Speaker 2>the little cute pack of nappies, Like that's a waste

0:17:22.800 --> 0:17:25.480
<v Speaker 2>of money. We buy bulk boxes. And I got to

0:17:25.600 --> 0:17:28.960
<v Speaker 2>the supermarket and it wasn't my regular supermarket which has

0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:32.639
<v Speaker 2>free trolleys. It was the supermarket that needed the coin

0:17:32.960 --> 0:17:35.800
<v Speaker 2>for the trolleys. I don't even have a coin. Yeah,

0:17:35.920 --> 0:17:38.840
<v Speaker 2>And so I looked like a complete potato and I

0:17:39.200 --> 0:17:42.359
<v Speaker 2>basically got rid of everything else that I was planning

0:17:42.400 --> 0:17:44.200
<v Speaker 2>on buying. I was like, right, I can only walk

0:17:44.280 --> 0:17:47.080
<v Speaker 2>out of here with formula, nappies and a couple of tomatoes.

0:17:47.160 --> 0:17:50.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm calling it. Yeah, saved so much, I know, do

0:17:50.600 --> 0:17:52.360
<v Speaker 2>I not have things I need? Yeah?

0:17:52.640 --> 0:17:58.040
<v Speaker 3>But also saved so much absolutely on the money branded

0:17:58.119 --> 0:17:58.760
<v Speaker 3>trolley token.

0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:01.440
<v Speaker 2>May I say, do you know what I've been talking

0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:04.680
<v Speaker 2>about that and we've been brainstorming it. Imagine a she's

0:18:04.720 --> 0:18:07.800
<v Speaker 2>on the money trolley token on your keys. That would

0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:10.160
<v Speaker 2>be very sure because it was like a two dollar shape.

0:18:10.280 --> 0:18:14.159
<v Speaker 2>Looks cute, But I save you. Also, you wouldn't want

0:18:14.200 --> 0:18:17.600
<v Speaker 2>to leave that accidentally in the trolley. No, I reckon

0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:21.640
<v Speaker 2>it's worth more than two dollars. Okay, shit true anyway

0:18:22.000 --> 0:18:24.320
<v Speaker 2>pay for itself though? Yeah, will you say that? I reckon?

0:18:24.400 --> 0:18:26.320
<v Speaker 2>That's a good example of you know, it's not about

0:18:26.320 --> 0:18:28.639
<v Speaker 2>the destination, but it's about the broke tips that you

0:18:28.760 --> 0:18:31.359
<v Speaker 2>collect along the way. We're just about to take a

0:18:31.440 --> 0:18:33.840
<v Speaker 2>quick break, but when we are back, we are diving

0:18:34.000 --> 0:18:36.080
<v Speaker 2>headfirst into this week's money dilemma.

0:18:39.960 --> 0:18:42.440
<v Speaker 3>Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's

0:18:42.480 --> 0:18:43.080
<v Speaker 3>money dilemma.

0:18:45.240 --> 0:18:47.560
<v Speaker 2>Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just

0:18:47.680 --> 0:18:50.160
<v Speaker 2>can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here

0:18:50.240 --> 0:18:53.400
<v Speaker 2>to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big

0:18:53.480 --> 0:18:56.159
<v Speaker 2>and small, to answer your most burning money, career and

0:18:56.280 --> 0:18:59.440
<v Speaker 2>life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website

0:18:59.480 --> 0:19:01.720
<v Speaker 2>and leave us short voice recording and you might just

0:19:01.800 --> 0:19:04.520
<v Speaker 2>find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen

0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:06.000
<v Speaker 2>to this week's money dilemma.

0:19:08.400 --> 0:19:10.639
<v Speaker 5>High Season the Money. I have a question about my

0:19:10.760 --> 0:19:13.479
<v Speaker 5>super Thanks to your pod, I've been looking into how

0:19:13.520 --> 0:19:16.439
<v Speaker 5>well my super fund is performing. While it passes all

0:19:16.440 --> 0:19:18.399
<v Speaker 5>of the appro tests, I think I can find a

0:19:18.480 --> 0:19:20.960
<v Speaker 5>better performing fund with lower fees and would like to

0:19:21.040 --> 0:19:24.000
<v Speaker 5>move my entire balance for better growth. I don't have

0:19:24.119 --> 0:19:27.399
<v Speaker 5>any pre existing medical conditions, and so insurance isn't an issue.

0:19:28.240 --> 0:19:30.200
<v Speaker 5>I don't want to try and time the market, but

0:19:30.280 --> 0:19:32.880
<v Speaker 5>I'm wondering if I should hold off moving my superbalance

0:19:32.960 --> 0:19:36.480
<v Speaker 5>until the market recovers from the current volatility, as my

0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:38.720
<v Speaker 5>super's taken a bit of a dip this year. I

0:19:38.840 --> 0:19:41.240
<v Speaker 5>have about seventy five thousand in my account and I'm

0:19:41.320 --> 0:19:44.200
<v Speaker 5>thirty three, so have plenty of time to realize better returns.

0:19:44.840 --> 0:19:47.400
<v Speaker 5>Should I transfer my balance now or wait a little

0:19:47.440 --> 0:19:47.879
<v Speaker 5>bit longer?

0:19:48.560 --> 0:19:48.720
<v Speaker 1>Oh?

0:19:48.920 --> 0:19:49.879
<v Speaker 2>What was you guys? Do?

0:19:50.400 --> 0:19:53.639
<v Speaker 4>I guess, like, first of all, make sure there's no

0:19:53.920 --> 0:19:56.680
<v Speaker 4>exit fees. I think I would just like check like

0:19:56.800 --> 0:19:59.080
<v Speaker 4>for like, like if the next super fund had the

0:19:59.160 --> 0:20:03.240
<v Speaker 4>exact same portfolio in terms of what that super would

0:20:03.240 --> 0:20:06.119
<v Speaker 4>be invested in, then I guess it would be the

0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:09.879
<v Speaker 4>same money right now, like worth the same the shares

0:20:10.000 --> 0:20:13.040
<v Speaker 4>or the investment, and so transferring it over now would

0:20:13.400 --> 0:20:15.920
<v Speaker 4>kind of be like whatever. It really depends on, like

0:20:16.320 --> 0:20:18.520
<v Speaker 4>where the money is going and how it's being invested,

0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:20.800
<v Speaker 4>and if it's pretty much exactly the same and they're

0:20:21.200 --> 0:20:23.479
<v Speaker 4>both valued at the same amount if that makes sense,

0:20:23.520 --> 0:20:25.560
<v Speaker 4>which I know sounds it's hard to explain because it's

0:20:25.560 --> 0:20:28.160
<v Speaker 4>like they're not really shares. It's like super if you're

0:20:28.160 --> 0:20:31.320
<v Speaker 4>investing in the same thing valued at the same amount. Roughly,

0:20:31.359 --> 0:20:34.280
<v Speaker 4>I'm like sure, especially if it's like that is spot on.

0:20:34.800 --> 0:20:37.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like that's what a financial advisor would say. Yeah,

0:20:37.760 --> 0:20:40.520
<v Speaker 2>oh my god. Ah, I was just like watching you

0:20:40.680 --> 0:20:43.840
<v Speaker 2>being like, oh my god, I got a finger on

0:20:43.920 --> 0:20:47.760
<v Speaker 2>the pulse. So seek that's crazy. Yeah, because you're buying

0:20:47.840 --> 0:20:49.119
<v Speaker 2>and selling in the same market and.

0:20:49.160 --> 0:20:51.600
<v Speaker 4>Same market, and then if the fees are less in

0:20:51.680 --> 0:20:55.240
<v Speaker 4>this new fund, then you're also maybe saving money.

0:20:55.560 --> 0:20:59.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, how likely is it that true? Different super funds

0:20:59.040 --> 0:21:01.960
<v Speaker 3>would have very comp makeups, because it sounds like she's

0:21:02.359 --> 0:21:04.720
<v Speaker 3>my understanding what she said is she wants to move

0:21:04.800 --> 0:21:07.960
<v Speaker 3>to a more favorable like I'm imagining maybe she wants

0:21:08.000 --> 0:21:09.840
<v Speaker 3>to move from like a lower risk to a higher

0:21:09.960 --> 0:21:12.600
<v Speaker 3>risk because she feels like she's got time, in which

0:21:12.720 --> 0:21:15.760
<v Speaker 3>case would there be a lot of similar like crossover

0:21:16.520 --> 0:21:18.160
<v Speaker 3>the crop And it really depends.

0:21:18.520 --> 0:21:21.320
<v Speaker 2>So if you're going from like one industry fund to

0:21:21.400 --> 0:21:24.880
<v Speaker 2>another industry fund, it's very likely that they hold very

0:21:24.960 --> 0:21:28.200
<v Speaker 2>similar things. You can kind of think of it like ETFs,

0:21:28.480 --> 0:21:30.199
<v Speaker 2>where you know, you've got a beta shares and then

0:21:30.200 --> 0:21:32.680
<v Speaker 2>you've got a vanguard and they might have top two hundreds,

0:21:32.840 --> 0:21:35.840
<v Speaker 2>and they both invest in that slightly differently, you know,

0:21:35.960 --> 0:21:39.560
<v Speaker 2>different fees, different triggers. That's all good, but they're kind

0:21:39.600 --> 0:21:43.960
<v Speaker 2>of comparable products. Whereas if she's changing because she's like

0:21:44.040 --> 0:21:46.080
<v Speaker 2>the I want to take it to a completely different

0:21:46.160 --> 0:21:49.119
<v Speaker 2>platform where you know, they only have ethical investments, or

0:21:49.160 --> 0:21:51.959
<v Speaker 2>they only have you know, a different range, or I'm

0:21:52.040 --> 0:21:54.879
<v Speaker 2>going from as you said before, like a balanced portfolio

0:21:54.960 --> 0:21:57.680
<v Speaker 2>to a high growth. That's where you're going to have

0:21:57.800 --> 0:22:00.600
<v Speaker 2>to think about this a little bit deeper, just changing

0:22:00.640 --> 0:22:02.280
<v Speaker 2>because you're like, oh, I would prefer to go to

0:22:02.359 --> 0:22:05.720
<v Speaker 2>Australian super and I'm with you know, host plus or

0:22:05.760 --> 0:22:08.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm with rest or whatever. I would say that kind

0:22:08.800 --> 0:22:11.520
<v Speaker 2>of like for like, if you're going to a similar portfolio,

0:22:11.600 --> 0:22:13.400
<v Speaker 2>they'll be offended that I've said that, by the way,

0:22:13.800 --> 0:22:16.800
<v Speaker 2>because you know, they're definitely different. They're all so different.

0:22:17.240 --> 0:22:19.280
<v Speaker 2>But in the grand scheme of things, yes, they all

0:22:19.359 --> 0:22:24.919
<v Speaker 2>have different investment methodologies, but at the ground, they're often

0:22:25.400 --> 0:22:27.880
<v Speaker 2>all investing in blue chip stocks and that's why it's

0:22:27.920 --> 0:22:31.480
<v Speaker 2>so important to look at your investments inside your super

0:22:31.600 --> 0:22:34.440
<v Speaker 2>to make sure that you're comfortable with it. But usually

0:22:34.680 --> 0:22:37.200
<v Speaker 2>know you don't need to wait for the market to

0:22:37.359 --> 0:22:42.600
<v Speaker 2>recover to switch super funds. And it's exactly what Beck said,

0:22:42.680 --> 0:22:45.720
<v Speaker 2>you're trading in exactly the same market. It's kind of

0:22:45.920 --> 0:22:48.560
<v Speaker 2>like when people are like, oh, my goodness, like, is

0:22:48.640 --> 0:22:51.320
<v Speaker 2>now a good time to buy or sell? And if

0:22:51.320 --> 0:22:53.920
<v Speaker 2>you're selling a house and then buying a house in

0:22:54.040 --> 0:22:56.520
<v Speaker 2>the same market, it's kind of left pocket, right pocket,

0:22:56.760 --> 0:22:59.280
<v Speaker 2>because if it's a good market and your house is

0:22:59.359 --> 0:23:02.200
<v Speaker 2>valued at all, you'll be selling for a lot more,

0:23:02.280 --> 0:23:04.000
<v Speaker 2>and then you're going to be buying in a market

0:23:04.040 --> 0:23:06.560
<v Speaker 2>where property is value at a hire. But that's okay

0:23:06.560 --> 0:23:08.440
<v Speaker 2>because you've got a bit more for your last property

0:23:08.520 --> 0:23:11.000
<v Speaker 2>and you put it into the next property. Because we

0:23:11.080 --> 0:23:12.959
<v Speaker 2>don't know when the market's get to tank. No one

0:23:13.000 --> 0:23:15.080
<v Speaker 2>comes knocking on your door and says, hey, JS, just

0:23:15.160 --> 0:23:17.960
<v Speaker 2>so now now's a perfect time to buy. Market's about

0:23:18.000 --> 0:23:20.760
<v Speaker 2>to go up. Never happens in a million years. And

0:23:21.000 --> 0:23:23.080
<v Speaker 2>if someone can do that, let me know, because I'll

0:23:23.160 --> 0:23:26.760
<v Speaker 2>start investing a lot more aggressively. Now. It does change.

0:23:26.840 --> 0:23:30.399
<v Speaker 2>If you're going to like a different portfolio construction. But

0:23:30.560 --> 0:23:33.359
<v Speaker 2>the one thing that I would be doing superannuation is

0:23:33.440 --> 0:23:35.399
<v Speaker 2>for the long term, so like I would be zooming

0:23:35.440 --> 0:23:37.280
<v Speaker 2>out and going all right, well, there's never going to

0:23:37.280 --> 0:23:40.240
<v Speaker 2>be a perfect time to change. And if the market

0:23:40.359 --> 0:23:42.560
<v Speaker 2>is a bit off right now, yes, you're selling your

0:23:42.600 --> 0:23:45.399
<v Speaker 2>assets for less, but when you purchase again, you're probably

0:23:45.440 --> 0:23:48.240
<v Speaker 2>going to get more shares that are going to increase

0:23:48.280 --> 0:23:51.679
<v Speaker 2>in value. Again, you're trading in exactly the same market.

0:23:51.840 --> 0:23:56.119
<v Speaker 2>For example, if you're going to sell in super FUNDA,

0:23:56.480 --> 0:23:58.600
<v Speaker 2>and let's just make it really simple, in super fund

0:23:58.640 --> 0:24:02.200
<v Speaker 2>A you have ten BHP, you do a transfer to

0:24:02.400 --> 0:24:04.880
<v Speaker 2>your new asset and they also are going to hold

0:24:04.920 --> 0:24:07.120
<v Speaker 2>ten BHP shares. You're probably going to have the cash

0:24:07.200 --> 0:24:10.120
<v Speaker 2>to transfer over and hold the same exact assets again,

0:24:10.720 --> 0:24:14.639
<v Speaker 2>which is fine. But the big questions here are is

0:24:14.720 --> 0:24:18.480
<v Speaker 2>the new fund cheaper, does it have good long term performance,

0:24:18.560 --> 0:24:22.080
<v Speaker 2>does it align with your values? Does it offer the

0:24:22.200 --> 0:24:26.240
<v Speaker 2>investment options that you actually want? Are there any insurance

0:24:26.320 --> 0:24:30.680
<v Speaker 2>policies inside your currency branuation that you would forego or

0:24:30.760 --> 0:24:35.080
<v Speaker 2>lose by switching to me. That's a really really big question,

0:24:35.520 --> 0:24:37.719
<v Speaker 2>and the insurance one is one that catches a lot

0:24:37.800 --> 0:24:41.000
<v Speaker 2>of people out because they don't realize that they have

0:24:41.119 --> 0:24:45.320
<v Speaker 2>a default policy for life income or TPD and they

0:24:45.440 --> 0:24:47.000
<v Speaker 2>kind of go, oh, it will be in the next one.

0:24:47.080 --> 0:24:49.960
<v Speaker 2>Everyone has it. But that's not necessarily the case anymore.

0:24:50.000 --> 0:24:53.680
<v Speaker 2>You don't just get given an insurance policy anymore. So

0:24:53.800 --> 0:24:55.840
<v Speaker 2>please please please check it. And I mean at the

0:24:55.920 --> 0:24:59.040
<v Speaker 2>age of thirty three. I'm not allowed to give financial advice,

0:24:59.280 --> 0:25:01.320
<v Speaker 2>not because we're right, just in general, I'm not allowed

0:25:01.359 --> 0:25:05.000
<v Speaker 2>to give anything further than general financial advice. But thirty three,

0:25:05.080 --> 0:25:08.119
<v Speaker 2>with the balance of you said seventy five thousand dollars,

0:25:08.480 --> 0:25:11.960
<v Speaker 2>I'd really be focusing on finding a fund that is

0:25:12.119 --> 0:25:15.120
<v Speaker 2>right for you for the next thirty years than trying

0:25:15.160 --> 0:25:18.240
<v Speaker 2>to time the market over the next few years. Great point,

0:25:18.359 --> 0:25:21.000
<v Speaker 2>like get shit done, Like just get it done, get

0:25:21.040 --> 0:25:23.280
<v Speaker 2>it in, make it a priority. Make sure you're making

0:25:23.359 --> 0:25:26.359
<v Speaker 2>regular contributions, make sure your employer has been paying your

0:25:26.400 --> 0:25:28.600
<v Speaker 2>super make sure that you know everything is set up

0:25:28.600 --> 0:25:30.240
<v Speaker 2>the way that you want, because that's what's going to

0:25:30.320 --> 0:25:33.080
<v Speaker 2>drive long term performance. Not you know, I switched at

0:25:33.080 --> 0:25:35.520
<v Speaker 2>the right time and now I'm a millionaire. That's not

0:25:35.600 --> 0:25:37.960
<v Speaker 2>going to happen. Otherwise I'd be waiting for a switch

0:25:38.000 --> 0:25:42.320
<v Speaker 2>as well. Yeah, yeah, Will exactly speaks juicy DM. Oh

0:25:42.359 --> 0:25:46.840
<v Speaker 2>my goodness, I'm so ready this, I guess DM since

0:25:47.200 --> 0:25:48.920
<v Speaker 2>putting together like well, we're going to talk on this

0:25:49.040 --> 0:25:51.920
<v Speaker 2>episode has been living rent free in my mind since

0:25:52.000 --> 0:25:55.159
<v Speaker 2>I opened it. And look, even the person writing it

0:25:55.280 --> 0:25:57.240
<v Speaker 2>said that it would be spicy, So I mean that

0:25:57.320 --> 0:26:00.439
<v Speaker 2>piqued my interest to be given. So you're ready ready? Hi,

0:26:00.520 --> 0:26:02.320
<v Speaker 2>she's on the money. I have a spicy question, girl,

0:26:02.359 --> 0:26:04.560
<v Speaker 2>you got me hook line and sinker. I have a

0:26:04.640 --> 0:26:07.800
<v Speaker 2>friend with long term mental health struggles who is also

0:26:07.920 --> 0:26:12.320
<v Speaker 2>now physically disabled and on the NDIS. I've financially supported

0:26:12.359 --> 0:26:15.720
<v Speaker 2>them in the past several times and they always say

0:26:15.760 --> 0:26:18.000
<v Speaker 2>they will pay me back, but they never have. But

0:26:18.400 --> 0:26:21.280
<v Speaker 2>last year they chose to go through IVF in order

0:26:21.400 --> 0:26:23.960
<v Speaker 2>to have a child, and now I get a request

0:26:24.080 --> 0:26:28.000
<v Speaker 2>for financial aid every other month. I don't actually know

0:26:28.240 --> 0:26:31.919
<v Speaker 2>them very well. We've hung out a handful of times. However,

0:26:32.040 --> 0:26:34.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm also very aware that I'm privileged to be on

0:26:34.640 --> 0:26:37.440
<v Speaker 2>top of my own mental health and I'm very financially secure.

0:26:38.200 --> 0:26:41.760
<v Speaker 2>How do I gently disentangle myself without feeling guilty for

0:26:41.880 --> 0:26:45.679
<v Speaker 2>technically being able to help without going broke. I get

0:26:45.720 --> 0:26:47.359
<v Speaker 2>a pit in my stomach every time I see a

0:26:47.400 --> 0:26:49.960
<v Speaker 2>message from them, And to be honest, I can't stop

0:26:50.080 --> 0:26:52.640
<v Speaker 2>myself from judging them for choosing to have a child

0:26:52.760 --> 0:26:55.720
<v Speaker 2>knowing that they couldn't afford to and they weren't mentally

0:26:55.800 --> 0:27:00.520
<v Speaker 2>recovered either, what do I do? God, this is so complicated?

0:27:01.320 --> 0:27:04.040
<v Speaker 2>Or so she wasn't wrong, that was spicy.

0:27:04.359 --> 0:27:08.120
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I am a little bit confused by because isn't

0:27:08.160 --> 0:27:09.080
<v Speaker 4>I feel really really.

0:27:09.040 --> 0:27:11.440
<v Speaker 2>Expensive not to say like yeah, yeah.

0:27:11.359 --> 0:27:12.560
<v Speaker 3>So I'm like I wonder where that.

0:27:12.680 --> 0:27:15.159
<v Speaker 2>I mean, it's like this right, like so many times

0:27:15.240 --> 0:27:18.479
<v Speaker 2>we see people making decisions, and maybe she spent all

0:27:18.560 --> 0:27:22.000
<v Speaker 2>of the money that she had on IVF. Like people

0:27:22.119 --> 0:27:25.119
<v Speaker 2>make and I'm not saying confusing money decisions because I'm

0:27:25.119 --> 0:27:27.280
<v Speaker 2>saying they're bad. But people are going to spend their

0:27:27.320 --> 0:27:29.119
<v Speaker 2>money in line with their values. And they might not

0:27:29.200 --> 0:27:31.520
<v Speaker 2>be paying rent, but they might be paying for something else,

0:27:31.560 --> 0:27:33.639
<v Speaker 2>you know what. It's like, It's just it can be

0:27:33.760 --> 0:27:35.920
<v Speaker 2>really confusing, and that's where it's so important to not

0:27:36.080 --> 0:27:38.560
<v Speaker 2>judge people for the decisions they're making, because you could

0:27:38.760 --> 0:27:41.320
<v Speaker 2>have looked at that and been like, well, you're financially secure,

0:27:41.400 --> 0:27:44.040
<v Speaker 2>you did if that might mean that who knows, she

0:27:44.119 --> 0:27:45.800
<v Speaker 2>went and got a person alone and then spent it

0:27:45.840 --> 0:27:48.640
<v Speaker 2>all in IVF and she's even further up the deck crate.

0:27:48.760 --> 0:27:51.040
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, that's so treading to actually, and thank you for

0:27:51.119 --> 0:27:53.680
<v Speaker 4>picking up on that. I think that also the confusion

0:27:53.760 --> 0:27:56.200
<v Speaker 4>comes from it is a friend, but you don't know

0:27:56.240 --> 0:27:58.159
<v Speaker 4>them that well even hung out that much. And it

0:27:58.320 --> 0:28:00.760
<v Speaker 4>kind of like there have been time my life where

0:28:00.920 --> 0:28:03.959
<v Speaker 4>you know, I've certainly I haven't been very rich at all,

0:28:04.119 --> 0:28:06.200
<v Speaker 4>and I have not had that much money, but I've

0:28:06.520 --> 0:28:09.520
<v Speaker 4>helped friends, friends that I know, and I feel a

0:28:09.560 --> 0:28:11.720
<v Speaker 4>warmth in my belly and I feel love in my

0:28:11.800 --> 0:28:14.000
<v Speaker 4>heart for them. And then even if I don't know

0:28:14.080 --> 0:28:16.200
<v Speaker 4>them that well, but I still know their energy and

0:28:16.240 --> 0:28:18.240
<v Speaker 4>I still know that they're like a trustworthy person. But

0:28:18.520 --> 0:28:21.000
<v Speaker 4>I remember I worked at this place and I barely

0:28:21.080 --> 0:28:23.480
<v Speaker 4>knew this woman and she asked me for money very soon,

0:28:23.720 --> 0:28:25.440
<v Speaker 4>and oh really, She's like, oh can I just borrow

0:28:25.560 --> 0:28:27.800
<v Speaker 4>like one hundred bucks until payday? And I was like,

0:28:28.000 --> 0:28:30.320
<v Speaker 4>the weird thing And the thing I think might be

0:28:30.400 --> 0:28:33.440
<v Speaker 4>symptomatic of a bigger problem is that you have what

0:28:33.520 --> 0:28:36.359
<v Speaker 4>it looks like to be like many friends, many family members.

0:28:36.359 --> 0:28:37.920
<v Speaker 4>Why are you asking me out of everyone in the world,

0:28:38.000 --> 0:28:40.000
<v Speaker 4>And so I'm like, maybe there's something dodgy going on,

0:28:40.160 --> 0:28:42.480
<v Speaker 4>but who knows. It's hard to say, Maybe it's even

0:28:42.600 --> 0:28:44.840
<v Speaker 4>impossible to say. But the fact that you haven't hung

0:28:44.880 --> 0:28:46.320
<v Speaker 4>out that much, I'm like, they could have not that

0:28:46.400 --> 0:28:48.600
<v Speaker 4>many people in their life, so maybe they feel like

0:28:48.640 --> 0:28:51.560
<v Speaker 4>they're close to you. So maybe ignore that. But that's

0:28:51.600 --> 0:28:54.800
<v Speaker 4>something to consider if you think it feels off. But

0:28:54.920 --> 0:28:57.040
<v Speaker 4>if you don't think it feels off, then it is

0:28:57.080 --> 0:28:59.040
<v Speaker 4>a really tricky one. You don't have to be living

0:28:59.360 --> 0:29:01.800
<v Speaker 4>this life where like you feel sickly anxious every time

0:29:01.840 --> 0:29:03.960
<v Speaker 4>the message. I know that feeling. It's the worst feeling.

0:29:04.400 --> 0:29:07.440
<v Speaker 4>I think, just like generally telling them you can even

0:29:07.560 --> 0:29:09.320
<v Speaker 4>like lie a little bit if you want to, just

0:29:09.400 --> 0:29:11.720
<v Speaker 4>be like I think, financially right now the best position.

0:29:12.160 --> 0:29:12.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm really sorry.

0:29:13.320 --> 0:29:14.720
<v Speaker 4>They might just be able to figure it out on

0:29:14.760 --> 0:29:16.440
<v Speaker 4>their own if they don't have you to fall back

0:29:16.480 --> 0:29:19.600
<v Speaker 4>on anymore. So I think, try not feel gooidty because

0:29:19.600 --> 0:29:22.800
<v Speaker 4>you've helped them so much. But yeah, just the anxiety

0:29:22.840 --> 0:29:24.360
<v Speaker 4>you feel when they message, you don't need to be

0:29:24.440 --> 0:29:24.920
<v Speaker 4>living like that.

0:29:25.480 --> 0:29:26.360
<v Speaker 2>You've done all you can do.

0:29:26.760 --> 0:29:30.040
<v Speaker 4>You're more than welcome to be like I can't help anymore.

0:29:31.120 --> 0:29:33.240
<v Speaker 3>It's really hard. Like I fear, I don't even want

0:29:33.280 --> 0:29:37.920
<v Speaker 3>to touch the having the child while struggling financially because

0:29:37.920 --> 0:29:41.240
<v Speaker 3>I think that is such a complex, sure topic and

0:29:42.360 --> 0:29:43.800
<v Speaker 3>one we don't have the time to delve into one

0:29:43.800 --> 0:29:45.320
<v Speaker 3>that I don't think I have the emotional capacity and

0:29:45.400 --> 0:29:48.240
<v Speaker 3>shelve into if I want to today. But what I

0:29:48.320 --> 0:29:50.240
<v Speaker 3>want to look at is what can you do to

0:29:50.240 --> 0:29:52.280
<v Speaker 3>get yourself out of this situation? Because what's putting you

0:29:52.320 --> 0:29:54.040
<v Speaker 3>here is kindness, and I think that that is a

0:29:54.120 --> 0:29:57.520
<v Speaker 3>really fantastic thing. I think the instinct to help others

0:29:57.760 --> 0:30:00.560
<v Speaker 3>is really important and it's really one fool that you

0:30:00.680 --> 0:30:03.600
<v Speaker 3>have that, But it also is really challenging when it

0:30:03.960 --> 0:30:06.640
<v Speaker 3>then puts pressure back on you when you're you know,

0:30:06.720 --> 0:30:09.160
<v Speaker 3>you're feeling more and more entangled in this person's life.

0:30:09.200 --> 0:30:12.840
<v Speaker 3>You're feeling like they're not making good financial decisions, and

0:30:12.920 --> 0:30:15.800
<v Speaker 3>you maybe feel like by supporting them financially, you're enabling

0:30:15.840 --> 0:30:20.239
<v Speaker 3>those poor choices, which is totally understandable. I would lean

0:30:20.320 --> 0:30:23.080
<v Speaker 3>into pointing them towards resources. I'm with you. I think

0:30:24.200 --> 0:30:26.160
<v Speaker 3>you know, we say no is a full sentence, But

0:30:26.280 --> 0:30:28.400
<v Speaker 3>also I think it's very reasonable to say to them

0:30:28.600 --> 0:30:30.160
<v Speaker 3>next time somebody keeps you up with this, Hey, can

0:30:30.160 --> 0:30:31.880
<v Speaker 3>I get a hundred bucks to get me through the payday?

0:30:32.000 --> 0:30:34.880
<v Speaker 3>Just saying I'm so sorry cost of living at the moment,

0:30:35.040 --> 0:30:37.800
<v Speaker 3>I don't have the money to give you. And that

0:30:38.040 --> 0:30:41.360
<v Speaker 3>in itself is enough of a conversation, absolutely, and that

0:30:41.520 --> 0:30:44.520
<v Speaker 3>kind of gets you out of the position, hopefully and

0:30:44.600 --> 0:30:47.480
<v Speaker 3>breaks the circle by saying, hey, like with everything that

0:30:47.560 --> 0:30:50.560
<v Speaker 3>I'm doing, I just don't have the capacity to help you.

0:30:51.320 --> 0:30:53.600
<v Speaker 3>You can then supplement that, or I would supplement that

0:30:53.760 --> 0:30:56.120
<v Speaker 3>with here are some resources that you could look at,

0:30:56.240 --> 0:30:58.360
<v Speaker 3>you know, for ndis, do you have a case worker

0:30:58.480 --> 0:31:00.880
<v Speaker 3>or somebody you can talk to. Can she maybe reach

0:31:00.920 --> 0:31:02.760
<v Speaker 3>out to our friends the National Debt Helpline and they

0:31:02.840 --> 0:31:05.400
<v Speaker 3>can help, you know, get her budget together, or look

0:31:05.400 --> 0:31:08.400
<v Speaker 3>at other resources maybe to provide her. I think all

0:31:08.480 --> 0:31:11.240
<v Speaker 3>you can do is give somebody the tools to succeed.

0:31:12.000 --> 0:31:14.880
<v Speaker 3>But it isn't your responsibility. And I know that that's

0:31:14.960 --> 0:31:18.880
<v Speaker 3>really hard. When you're somebody who feels the need to

0:31:18.960 --> 0:31:21.920
<v Speaker 3>help others and feel the need to fix things, you go, well,

0:31:21.920 --> 0:31:23.880
<v Speaker 3>if it's within my means, why wouldn't I, Like, why

0:31:23.920 --> 0:31:27.440
<v Speaker 3>shouldn't I? But also, you can't put yourself on the

0:31:27.520 --> 0:31:29.960
<v Speaker 3>back foot if the money's not coming back to you.

0:31:30.200 --> 0:31:32.880
<v Speaker 3>Do also have a right to look after yourself as well.

0:31:34.160 --> 0:31:36.880
<v Speaker 2>And like as somebody who likes to do those things

0:31:36.960 --> 0:31:39.200
<v Speaker 2>as well, like I love looking after other people if

0:31:39.200 --> 0:31:41.840
<v Speaker 2>it's within my means, like I'm very likely to be like,

0:31:41.880 --> 0:31:45.840
<v Speaker 2>oh here, let me help you. But then there has

0:31:45.920 --> 0:31:49.040
<v Speaker 2>been situations where I've felt like I've been taken advantage

0:31:49.080 --> 0:31:53.560
<v Speaker 2>of because someone's asked for something repeatedly and they either

0:31:53.640 --> 0:31:57.720
<v Speaker 2>don't show the gratitude that I had anticipated, or you know,

0:31:58.080 --> 0:32:00.280
<v Speaker 2>they haven't paid it back or something, and you do

0:32:00.600 --> 0:32:03.400
<v Speaker 2>leave feeling a little bit like they've taken advantage of

0:32:03.440 --> 0:32:06.080
<v Speaker 2>a situation. And I think that's where you also need

0:32:06.160 --> 0:32:07.720
<v Speaker 2>to step back and go, well, why did I do

0:32:07.840 --> 0:32:10.960
<v Speaker 2>that in the first place, And for me, I didn't

0:32:11.160 --> 0:32:13.800
<v Speaker 2>do it, so like I think you need to approach it.

0:32:13.880 --> 0:32:16.160
<v Speaker 2>And this is coming from privilege, so I do acknowledge that,

0:32:16.400 --> 0:32:18.880
<v Speaker 2>but you need to approach it with I don't lend

0:32:18.960 --> 0:32:21.719
<v Speaker 2>people money, like I've just I have a blanket rule.

0:32:21.800 --> 0:32:23.440
<v Speaker 2>I don't lend you money. If you came to me

0:32:23.600 --> 0:32:26.520
<v Speaker 2>and you said I need money for something great, I'll

0:32:26.600 --> 0:32:29.600
<v Speaker 2>give it to you. There's no expectation. I hope that

0:32:29.760 --> 0:32:32.320
<v Speaker 2>one day you're able to, you know, pass that on

0:32:32.640 --> 0:32:35.240
<v Speaker 2>and do something for somebody else, because I don't want

0:32:35.280 --> 0:32:38.680
<v Speaker 2>to change the friendship dynamics or even relationship that I

0:32:38.800 --> 0:32:41.840
<v Speaker 2>have with anybody to be like, oh, you own me,

0:32:42.000 --> 0:32:44.400
<v Speaker 2>like I don't know, Jess, you know me well enough

0:32:44.480 --> 0:32:46.440
<v Speaker 2>to know that. It just gives me the ear clay.

0:32:46.480 --> 0:32:48.400
<v Speaker 2>I don't even like other people paying for my coffees

0:32:48.560 --> 0:32:51.800
<v Speaker 2>like it just there's something about my money story that

0:32:52.000 --> 0:32:54.360
<v Speaker 2>means that I just want to be fiercely independent, and

0:32:54.440 --> 0:32:57.160
<v Speaker 2>I desperately want that for other people. But for me,

0:32:57.720 --> 0:33:01.360
<v Speaker 2>going back to this question, it's not about the IVF.

0:33:01.600 --> 0:33:04.320
<v Speaker 2>It's not about their choice to have a child. Those

0:33:04.480 --> 0:33:08.080
<v Speaker 2>are life choices, and those are deeply personal, and those

0:33:08.120 --> 0:33:11.320
<v Speaker 2>are theirs, They're not yours. You don't get to have

0:33:11.640 --> 0:33:15.640
<v Speaker 2>a conversation about that. From my perspective. But you have

0:33:15.880 --> 0:33:21.760
<v Speaker 2>repeatedly given financial assistance to this person and been let down,

0:33:22.040 --> 0:33:24.600
<v Speaker 2>like you've repeatedly not been repaid, which is left you

0:33:24.680 --> 0:33:27.880
<v Speaker 2>feeling a little bit used. And I think it's very

0:33:28.000 --> 0:33:31.760
<v Speaker 2>fair to your point. Just your financial security doesn't create

0:33:31.840 --> 0:33:35.920
<v Speaker 2>an obligation to support other people. That's your financial security.

0:33:36.040 --> 0:33:39.320
<v Speaker 2>You worked hard for that, and you can care deeply

0:33:39.360 --> 0:33:41.600
<v Speaker 2>about someone and still decide that lending the money is

0:33:41.680 --> 0:33:43.440
<v Speaker 2>no longer something that you're willing to do, and you

0:33:43.480 --> 0:33:46.360
<v Speaker 2>actually don't owe them an explanation. I mean, I would

0:33:46.600 --> 0:33:49.800
<v Speaker 2>address every situation with kindness, but a simple response like

0:33:49.880 --> 0:33:51.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm just so sorry. I'm not in a position to,

0:33:52.120 --> 0:33:56.680
<v Speaker 2>you know, provide financial assistance moving forward. That's it. Yeah,

0:33:56.920 --> 0:33:59.080
<v Speaker 2>you don't have to justify your bank balance, you don't

0:33:59.120 --> 0:34:02.320
<v Speaker 2>have to justify your goals. Like they can kind of

0:34:02.400 --> 0:34:04.160
<v Speaker 2>read between the lines and be like, wow, yeah, I

0:34:04.240 --> 0:34:06.560
<v Speaker 2>never paid them back and now I'm taking the mickey.

0:34:06.640 --> 0:34:09.719
<v Speaker 2>If they don't have that level of self reflection, it's

0:34:09.800 --> 0:34:12.400
<v Speaker 2>on them, not on you, Like I think that you

0:34:12.520 --> 0:34:16.040
<v Speaker 2>don't deserve. Do you have to put more emotional energy

0:34:16.120 --> 0:34:18.480
<v Speaker 2>into this than you clearly already are, Like, I think

0:34:18.520 --> 0:34:21.120
<v Speaker 2>a very simple response to be like, I'm just not

0:34:21.239 --> 0:34:25.319
<v Speaker 2>in that position anymore. It's not actually up for negotiation. Yeah,

0:34:25.360 --> 0:34:28.759
<v Speaker 2>I'm just letting you know, like, so sorry, Jess, I'm

0:34:28.800 --> 0:34:32.000
<v Speaker 2>not in the position to provide any financial assistance. What's

0:34:32.040 --> 0:34:33.840
<v Speaker 2>someone going to say to that, do you know what

0:34:33.880 --> 0:34:35.160
<v Speaker 2>I mean? Like, are you going to come back and

0:34:35.239 --> 0:34:38.080
<v Speaker 2>be like, well, actually you are. You don't know my situation.

0:34:38.640 --> 0:34:42.360
<v Speaker 2>And then I think for me, it's like the judging

0:34:42.440 --> 0:34:45.640
<v Speaker 2>of other people's choices. It's not a bad thing, but like,

0:34:46.480 --> 0:34:48.960
<v Speaker 2>I think that maybe your brain is just really trying

0:34:49.000 --> 0:34:51.640
<v Speaker 2>to make sense of the situation because it's left you

0:34:51.880 --> 0:34:54.320
<v Speaker 2>feeling taken advantage of. And I want you to reflect

0:34:54.360 --> 0:34:57.400
<v Speaker 2>on that a little bit more, because you need to

0:34:57.440 --> 0:35:00.520
<v Speaker 2>create a boundary regardless of what you're doing. Yeah, does

0:35:00.600 --> 0:35:02.280
<v Speaker 2>that make sense? Like you need to create a boundary

0:35:02.360 --> 0:35:04.399
<v Speaker 2>with this person because clearly you're saying you're not close

0:35:04.440 --> 0:35:06.000
<v Speaker 2>with them. They're asking you for things that you're not

0:35:06.080 --> 0:35:09.560
<v Speaker 2>comfortable with, whether they make these decisions or not. They

0:35:09.640 --> 0:35:12.160
<v Speaker 2>needs to be a boundary, Yeah, because you can't consistently

0:35:12.200 --> 0:35:14.520
<v Speaker 2>be lending money to somebody who's not valuing that and

0:35:14.680 --> 0:35:16.399
<v Speaker 2>not paying it back and not doing what they said

0:35:16.400 --> 0:35:19.040
<v Speaker 2>they would do. Yeah, so that would be with the top.

0:35:19.920 --> 0:35:22.040
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, sorry, that's happening. But what did everybody else think?

0:35:22.280 --> 0:35:22.440
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

0:35:22.600 --> 0:35:22.839
<v Speaker 1>Girl?

0:35:22.920 --> 0:35:26.279
<v Speaker 2>They popped off in the comments section. So first question

0:35:26.400 --> 0:35:29.360
<v Speaker 2>we asked the community, have you ever financially supported a

0:35:29.480 --> 0:35:32.640
<v Speaker 2>friend and later regretted it? Thirty eight percent of you

0:35:32.719 --> 0:35:34.880
<v Speaker 2>said yes, and sixty two percent of you said no.

0:35:35.160 --> 0:35:38.080
<v Speaker 2>That's a lot of people. Yeah, And then we as

0:35:38.280 --> 0:35:40.840
<v Speaker 2>do you think it's okay to stop helping someone financially

0:35:41.080 --> 0:35:45.279
<v Speaker 2>even if you can afford to help me? Reckon, I

0:35:45.360 --> 0:35:45.920
<v Speaker 2>think you have.

0:35:46.000 --> 0:35:48.880
<v Speaker 3>To look after yourself, But I also can like that

0:35:49.040 --> 0:35:51.359
<v Speaker 3>be the question of like, do we have a responsibility

0:35:51.440 --> 0:35:52.600
<v Speaker 3>to lift everybody up?

0:35:52.960 --> 0:35:57.279
<v Speaker 2>I actually arising tired lifts of ships, poddies, nuance. Ninety

0:35:57.320 --> 0:35:59.799
<v Speaker 2>seven percent of you said yeah, it's okay to stop helping,

0:36:00.680 --> 0:36:05.560
<v Speaker 2>which validating, but also like I'm sorry at the crux

0:36:05.640 --> 0:36:07.839
<v Speaker 2>of that that person has said they would do something

0:36:07.880 --> 0:36:10.440
<v Speaker 2>and then they didn't do it. Yeah, you can't just

0:36:10.640 --> 0:36:14.200
<v Speaker 2>keep like for me once, for me twice. Yeah, Like

0:36:14.880 --> 0:36:17.959
<v Speaker 2>you can't keep throwing money at somebody who says they'll

0:36:18.000 --> 0:36:22.239
<v Speaker 2>pay you back. You wouldn't allow that with an investment. Yeah, yes,

0:36:22.920 --> 0:36:25.040
<v Speaker 2>Like I'm not going to be like, so, hey, if

0:36:25.120 --> 0:36:28.440
<v Speaker 2>I give es money, you've never seen it again. It's crazy,

0:36:28.880 --> 0:36:32.399
<v Speaker 2>do you know what I mean? Like in that case,

0:36:32.480 --> 0:36:35.600
<v Speaker 2>give me mummy. And then we asked is protecting your

0:36:35.640 --> 0:36:38.880
<v Speaker 2>own piece more important than avoiding someone else's disappointment? Ninety

0:36:38.920 --> 0:36:42.719
<v Speaker 2>eight percent of you said yes. We then asked, what's

0:36:42.800 --> 0:36:48.359
<v Speaker 2>your two cents my Queen's. A lot of people were responding, oh,

0:36:48.440 --> 0:36:51.040
<v Speaker 2>my goodness, like IVF can't believe they do that. There

0:36:51.160 --> 0:36:53.240
<v Speaker 2>was a lot of conversation around if they can't afford

0:36:53.280 --> 0:36:55.000
<v Speaker 2>to have a kid, they shouldn't be doing it. End

0:36:55.040 --> 0:36:59.280
<v Speaker 2>of story, Like such a complex it's such a complex situation,

0:36:59.719 --> 0:37:02.879
<v Speaker 2>and I think adds to the layers of us trying

0:37:02.960 --> 0:37:05.880
<v Speaker 2>to break down and understand this situation. But I think

0:37:05.920 --> 0:37:08.200
<v Speaker 2>we need to remove the nuance. I think we need

0:37:08.280 --> 0:37:11.279
<v Speaker 2>to remove that like narrative and just go, hey, a

0:37:11.360 --> 0:37:15.879
<v Speaker 2>friend is asking for consistent financial support from you. You've

0:37:16.000 --> 0:37:19.040
<v Speaker 2>just told me you're not that close. They're not somebody

0:37:19.160 --> 0:37:22.160
<v Speaker 2>that you want an ongoing relationship with, and they're not

0:37:22.719 --> 0:37:25.560
<v Speaker 2>repaying it when they said that they would. I think

0:37:25.600 --> 0:37:29.520
<v Speaker 2>it's a pretty terrible decision to continue that at the crux,

0:37:29.600 --> 0:37:32.400
<v Speaker 2>like they can layer on the sub stories, they can

0:37:32.480 --> 0:37:34.880
<v Speaker 2>layer on everything else, but at the crux of this decision,

0:37:35.520 --> 0:37:38.600
<v Speaker 2>like it's their personal circumstances. And I think if that

0:37:38.680 --> 0:37:40.640
<v Speaker 2>then gets brought up and they're like, oh, but I've

0:37:40.680 --> 0:37:42.880
<v Speaker 2>been going through this and this, you go, oh my goodness,

0:37:42.920 --> 0:37:44.839
<v Speaker 2>I know, and that must be so hard, but I'm

0:37:44.960 --> 0:37:46.840
<v Speaker 2>still just not in a position to be able to

0:37:46.880 --> 0:37:50.400
<v Speaker 2>support you moving forward, Like it's not your circus, it's

0:37:50.440 --> 0:37:52.319
<v Speaker 2>not your monkeys, And like I think there's a lot

0:37:52.400 --> 0:37:55.520
<v Speaker 2>less nuance. Yes, there's complications, but it's not like your

0:37:55.640 --> 0:37:58.440
<v Speaker 2>sister or you know someone that's really close or your

0:37:58.520 --> 0:38:00.560
<v Speaker 2>best mate, where you're just like sow far out. This

0:38:00.719 --> 0:38:04.319
<v Speaker 2>is more complicated because I do want to maintain this relationship. Yeah,

0:38:04.440 --> 0:38:07.879
<v Speaker 2>like my queen, you're allowed a boundary. Yeah. Other people

0:38:07.960 --> 0:38:10.200
<v Speaker 2>said I would never give anyone an amount of money.

0:38:10.239 --> 0:38:12.920
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't be comfortable not getting back, which is kind

0:38:12.960 --> 0:38:15.239
<v Speaker 2>of where I like to land these days. I'm like,

0:38:15.280 --> 0:38:16.960
<v Speaker 2>if I need to land it out, I've got to

0:38:17.440 --> 0:38:21.000
<v Speaker 2>come to the determination that I might not get that back.

0:38:21.000 --> 0:38:23.400
<v Speaker 2>If I get it back, fantastic if I don't like

0:38:23.560 --> 0:38:25.279
<v Speaker 2>that was a gift. Yeah, And I think that you

0:38:25.400 --> 0:38:27.120
<v Speaker 2>do need to deeply think about if you're going to

0:38:27.160 --> 0:38:29.640
<v Speaker 2>give to some more money, what were your expectations around that?

0:38:30.800 --> 0:38:33.239
<v Speaker 2>Like for me, no, I never want to talk about

0:38:33.280 --> 0:38:36.080
<v Speaker 2>it again, Like that's done and dusted, like that happened,

0:38:36.760 --> 0:38:39.560
<v Speaker 2>because otherwise it was never for that person. It was

0:38:39.640 --> 0:38:42.239
<v Speaker 2>always for me and my own personal gain and some

0:38:42.400 --> 0:38:46.000
<v Speaker 2>kind of weird power play. Absolutely not. Someone else said,

0:38:46.160 --> 0:38:48.960
<v Speaker 2>if they're relying on you now for money, they absolutely

0:38:49.000 --> 0:38:51.320
<v Speaker 2>can't support themselves in the future. Maybe send them a

0:38:51.360 --> 0:38:56.040
<v Speaker 2>few resources to support themselves. A lot of people said boundaries.

0:38:56.120 --> 0:38:58.960
<v Speaker 2>They keep asking because you keep giving. They know what

0:38:59.120 --> 0:39:02.360
<v Speaker 2>your boundaries are. You need to reinforce what you expect

0:39:02.480 --> 0:39:03.120
<v Speaker 2>moving forward.

0:39:03.440 --> 0:39:03.640
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:39:04.080 --> 0:39:06.200
<v Speaker 2>I thought that was really smart because it's true, like

0:39:06.400 --> 0:39:08.560
<v Speaker 2>as you said before, back, someone comes to you, like

0:39:08.719 --> 0:39:12.359
<v Speaker 2>in a past job and asks for money because they

0:39:12.440 --> 0:39:17.360
<v Speaker 2>probably they can sense that. Yeah, yeah, you would be supportive.

0:39:18.000 --> 0:39:21.399
<v Speaker 2>Someone else said, sometimes it isn't helping because what you're

0:39:21.440 --> 0:39:22.520
<v Speaker 2>doing is enabling.

0:39:22.760 --> 0:39:24.320
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's a really good way to look at it.

0:39:24.520 --> 0:39:28.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Another person said that scenario is wild, and there

0:39:28.239 --> 0:39:30.040
<v Speaker 2>are a few other people that said, even if it

0:39:30.120 --> 0:39:33.400
<v Speaker 2>doesn't end in financial ruin, you are still entitled to

0:39:33.480 --> 0:39:35.960
<v Speaker 2>your own money that you have worked really hard for.

0:39:36.440 --> 0:39:38.080
<v Speaker 2>And then there was a lot of people and I'll

0:39:38.160 --> 0:39:41.400
<v Speaker 2>leave it on this sharing resources like the Good Shepherd

0:39:41.640 --> 0:39:44.239
<v Speaker 2>and money smart websites and stuff like that that they

0:39:44.280 --> 0:39:47.040
<v Speaker 2>can get support and just you also touched on you know,

0:39:47.440 --> 0:39:50.640
<v Speaker 2>honing in on their NDIS stuff. Do you have enough support.

0:39:50.800 --> 0:39:53.040
<v Speaker 2>Is there a caseworker you could talk to, like, where

0:39:53.080 --> 0:39:54.920
<v Speaker 2>could you go to from here? And if you're on

0:39:55.040 --> 0:39:57.719
<v Speaker 2>the ndis you very likely have a contact that you

0:39:57.760 --> 0:39:59.600
<v Speaker 2>could reach out to and be like, what can I

0:39:59.680 --> 0:40:02.000
<v Speaker 2>do here? And Mayken point you in the right direction?

0:40:02.320 --> 0:40:04.719
<v Speaker 2>For sure, that's probably a really great place to leave

0:40:04.760 --> 0:40:07.400
<v Speaker 2>it and wrap it. My friends, thank you for spending

0:40:07.719 --> 0:40:10.120
<v Speaker 2>so much of your time with us on this. Hopefully

0:40:10.160 --> 0:40:13.160
<v Speaker 2>it's still Friday morning. Maybe you're on your hot walk,

0:40:13.200 --> 0:40:17.200
<v Speaker 2>you're doing your grocery shopping with no basket, you're on

0:40:17.320 --> 0:40:20.319
<v Speaker 2>your morning commute. We really appreciate you, and we will

0:40:20.360 --> 0:40:22.920
<v Speaker 2>be back next week and especially on Monday, with a

0:40:22.960 --> 0:40:26.160
<v Speaker 2>brand new shiny money Darry. Until then, my loves, please

0:40:26.200 --> 0:40:28.640
<v Speaker 2>take care of yourselves and of each other. And if

0:40:28.680 --> 0:40:32.560
<v Speaker 2>you've enjoyed this episode, tell literally everybody you've ever met

0:40:33.400 --> 0:40:35.520
<v Speaker 2>over the weekend. It's all I want to hear about

0:40:35.560 --> 0:40:38.200
<v Speaker 2>in cafes. Have a good weekend. I love you, goodbye,

0:40:38.600 --> 0:40:39.359
<v Speaker 2>my god Bi.

0:40:43.800 --> 0:40:46.320
<v Speaker 6>The advice shared on She's on the Money is general

0:40:46.400 --> 0:40:50.240
<v Speaker 6>in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's

0:40:50.280 --> 0:40:53.720
<v Speaker 6>on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should

0:40:53.760 --> 0:40:56.920
<v Speaker 6>not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.

0:40:57.320 --> 0:40:59.719
<v Speaker 6>If you do choose to buy a financial product, read

0:40:59.719 --> 0:41:03.120
<v Speaker 6>the Peace ds TMD and obtain appropriate financial.

0:41:02.719 --> 0:41:04.480
<v Speaker 2>Advice tailored towards your needs.

0:41:04.880 --> 0:41:08.800
<v Speaker 6>Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives

0:41:08.880 --> 0:41:11.200
<v Speaker 6>of Money sherper P, T y L t D A

0:41:11.360 --> 0:41:14.239
<v Speaker 6>b N three two one six four nine two seven

0:41:14.360 --> 0:41:17.839
<v Speaker 6>seven zero eight afs L four five one two eight

0:41:18.000 --> 0:41:18.200
<v Speaker 6>nine