Speaker 1: I got spotted last Saturday. Oh for the first time
Speaker 1: we got spotted.
Speaker 2: We've been spotted before, so this is the second spotting.
Speaker 2: Do you remember we were going to the Super Bowl?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and a lady was like, hey, hey, love
Speaker 1: you as you Matt Or is it the time when
Speaker 1: I got spotted and then you got you're verbally abused?
Speaker 2: Do you want to tell that story? Let me do
Speaker 2: the intro first, and then you can tell that story
Speaker 2: if you want.
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, Welcome to two Dodding Dads.
Speaker 1: I'm Mattie Jay and I'm Ash. This is a podcast
Speaker 1: that is all about parenting. It's the good, the bad,
Speaker 1: and the bad, I mean, and the related It's all bad,
Speaker 1: all right and more bad. There are many experts out
Speaker 1: there in the world of parenting, many other experts, not us.
Speaker 1: We are far from experts. If you're coming for advice,
Speaker 1: to stop it, stop it right now. This is your
Speaker 1: first time. There's no advice here. You've been warned. And
Speaker 1: before I forget.
Speaker 2: We ran a competition on our socials to win two
Speaker 2: brand new baby Beyond Harmony carriers, and I'm stoked to
Speaker 2: say that we have a winner. It is Sarah Arts.
Speaker 2: Congratulations will be in touch to send out to brand
Speaker 2: new carriers to you asap ash. Yes, I didn't think
Speaker 2: we'd tell the story, but you can tell it if
Speaker 2: you like.
Speaker 1: Yes, So we were just talking about Matt got spotted.
Speaker 1: I got spotted. It was at the market, A two
Speaker 1: doting dad's spotty. Yes, he just said, he just said dad,
Speaker 1: which is great because normally I only get spotted by
Speaker 1: the female. Did you joke him off? Afterward? I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm here, You've deserved it, reach around on you and
Speaker 1: he just yelled out and said, hey, two doting dads.
Speaker 1: And before I was like, I was ready for a
Speaker 1: full blown convo. Let's go want to That's all he
Speaker 1: wanted And I was there with lube in one hand, like,
Speaker 1: what about I have said that if someone leaves us
Speaker 1: a review or we would jerk them on. Would Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a fair trait, but I mean, I know it's
Speaker 1: all it's nice and new for you to be spotted
Speaker 1: or recognized somewhat used to it. So just like the
Speaker 1: other day, for those of you who weren't there, which
Speaker 1: is all of you listening, Matt and I were at
Speaker 1: our producer Keisha's thirtieth birthday, Happy birthday. Cache at it
Speaker 1: and we had a lovely lunch. We did have a
Speaker 1: lovely lunch of beer, yes, and some taco taco things,
Speaker 1: and it was a bit of a weird met I
Speaker 1: said it was like being in a Chinese man's basement
Speaker 1: eating Mexican food. That's kind of the theme.
Speaker 2: It was quite sure what cuisine it wanted to be,
Speaker 2: but it was like a bottomless margaritas.
Speaker 1: They do this thing, it's called fusion, so now they
Speaker 1: could just like I fuse everything together. It's like when
Speaker 1: I buy a cheeseburger and mc nuggets and I put
Speaker 1: mc nuggets on the cheeseburg fusure. We had a lovely
Speaker 1: lunch and then as we're getting up to leave, a
Speaker 1: table of young ladies and their partners said to me, oh,
Speaker 1: can we get a photo with you me specifically very enthusiastic.
Speaker 1: They just I think it was did you get your
Speaker 1: shirt grabbed? They grab your shirt or is.
Speaker 2: It an arm pul They were scurrying towards it to
Speaker 2: stop you when you desperate?
Speaker 1: Yes, no, they weren't desperate. It was a mister. They
Speaker 1: asked if they could take MAT's Oh take the phone.
Speaker 2: Hang on hang on, can I just just chime in
Speaker 2: for a second. They were so enthusiastic, they were so
Speaker 2: starstruck by seeing ash Aka jam pikelets in the flesh.
Speaker 2: There was like a moment of like, you know, they
Speaker 2: almost couldn't get the words. Look, and I saw it,
Speaker 2: and I thought, you know what, I'll be the nice guy.
Speaker 1: And I said, excuse me? Would I thought? You said,
Speaker 1: you're going to let me tell this it?
Speaker 2: Would you like me to take a photo? That's what
Speaker 2: I said, nice guy, Nice guy?
Speaker 1: Yeah, in which they said, yeah, of course that'd be great. Look,
Speaker 1: they did have a they had a belly full of piss,
Speaker 1: let's be honest, okay, And it was bottom as Marca.
Speaker 1: Everyone was well lubricated in the venture. Yeah. And then
Speaker 1: I grabbed the phone. Yeah, okay, you were already kneeling down.
Speaker 1: I was sitting. But it was funny. They also had that,
Speaker 1: Remember they had the tablecloths over there to imitate how
Speaker 1: I do my content?
Speaker 2: Yes, And I simply said, because it was you know
Speaker 2: we're talking about it was like a basement. It was
Speaker 2: very poorly lit. It was very dark, okay, And I
Speaker 2: looked through the leno first.
Speaker 1: You're also slightly hurt in your eyes. She looked at
Speaker 1: me and she's like listening. He was, don't reverse the
Speaker 1: camera and take a bloody photo of yourself, take a
Speaker 1: fucking photo of yourself. And she's like, don't do it.
Speaker 2: You know, the old gag of like yeah, and I thought,
Speaker 2: never entered.
Speaker 1: My car, and now you're gonna do it.
Speaker 2: And then I said, I looked through the camera like
Speaker 2: screen and it was so dark, and I said, do
Speaker 2: you want to flash or no flash?
Speaker 1: That's right, A very simple question in which because some.
Speaker 2: People are very like, yeah I flash. Some people all
Speaker 2: for the flash, and so I just wanted to you know.
Speaker 1: You were just trying to be a good photographer. What
Speaker 1: was the response. You looked at me, dead in the
Speaker 1: eye and said, just take the fucking photo. And look, honestly,
Speaker 1: it was very aggressive, but you did take it a
Speaker 1: little bit too. You didn't have a diva moment, Matt.
Speaker 1: You stormed off. You stormed off, and I was like no.
Speaker 1: I was like, he's hurt. Yeah, you were gutted, and honestly,
Speaker 1: you weren't very happy about it, and you dev it
Speaker 1: out the door. I threw the phone back and I said,
Speaker 1: you take the fucking photo, which we get it. You
Speaker 1: were hurt. How do you want me to respond? I
Speaker 1: just want you.
Speaker 2: I'm like helping someone out. It's like if you're changing
Speaker 2: someone's car tire that's flat, and you're.
Speaker 1: Like, you're probably getting paid for that.
Speaker 2: No, if you're given your time and you're like, hey,
Speaker 2: do you want is the spare in the trunk?
Speaker 1: Just moment you change the fucking tire?
Speaker 2: Like that's like, hey, I don't have to, I'm not
Speaker 2: a photographer. You did, I could be enjoying.
Speaker 1: I was even calling you a diva at the time,
Speaker 1: just to really rough this. Just sal you know where
Speaker 1: your fucking allegiance lies. Anyway, And you saw you coaxed
Speaker 1: your back over. You were like, he's always like this.
Speaker 1: That's after a few drinks, it gets like No. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, look, he's really upset that you didn't
Speaker 1: recognize him and then made him take the voter. So
Speaker 1: I came back. You came back after you had after
Speaker 1: you threw your fucking toys out of the cot. You
Speaker 1: came back, took me idiocre photo, and then we moved
Speaker 1: on with our lives. Look, honestly, they did say they're
Speaker 1: from the Central coast and they're like, fuy, Yeah, they
Speaker 1: were pretty. They were pretty lit up.
Speaker 2: So I think her friend knew that the one who
Speaker 2: had said those.
Speaker 1: Who was too much? It was too much. Now. We
Speaker 1: all got together later and were like, how about Matt
Speaker 1: just worm off like a diva. You're going to be
Speaker 1: just a punching bag for people. Yes, spear pin cushion,
Speaker 1: that's who you need to be, or knock her out.
Speaker 1: I'm just whushka.
Speaker 2: I did throw the phone back with like like a mallet,
Speaker 2: pitch mallet.
Speaker 1: I'm glad it made you happy. It did. It made
Speaker 1: me really happy because it was really really funny.
Speaker 2: You know, you're a sensitive guy, and so when when
Speaker 2: you're taking a photo and one of my fans is like,
Speaker 2: just take the fucking photo.
Speaker 1: I'll do as I'm told.
Speaker 2: Anyway, Anyway, how are you You've had a stress? We
Speaker 2: both had stress, morning Mate.
Speaker 1: Karma has really really really hit me today. So in
Speaker 1: the last episode we spoke about when I do the
Speaker 1: kidney drop off, and I'm like, your problem got a
Speaker 1: little bit rins from a few child to educators. Get
Speaker 1: out of yourself. So yes, it's karma, yeah, and I'll
Speaker 1: copy it. I'll cop it on the chin. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to send someone a rude comment about it, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like this morning I had to do drop off.
Speaker 1: My wife had to go to work early this morning,
Speaker 1: which is fine, she's allowed to. She's a powerful woman. Apparently,
Speaker 1: well said thank you, Just fucking shut up and listen
Speaker 1: and just melt down. After meltdown, sobbing. Who was it
Speaker 1: which Oscar? So? Oscar knows what day it is. Macy
Speaker 1: doesn't know what's going on. She's like, it's light outside
Speaker 1: or it's dark outside. That's as much as she knows.
Speaker 1: She was okay, but she was feeding off his energy.
Speaker 1: So this morning woke up, we're all in my bed. Whatever,
Speaker 1: mum's gotta go go instant meltdown. Now, Oscar goes to
Speaker 1: two kindys. One he likes, when he does not like
Speaker 1: so much because he's getting a little bit older and
Speaker 1: he likes the older one. Goes back to that one.
Speaker 1: The one he doesn't like. Is that just a Wednesday
Speaker 1: Wednesday Thursday? Yeah, it's good for me, bad for him.
Speaker 1: And he just was uncontrollably sobbing. Oh it was different,
Speaker 1: and I was like, this is payback. I was trying
Speaker 1: to reason with him because I have Macy off on Thursdays.
Speaker 1: And I was like, look tomorrow, like my dad's down,
Speaker 1: my mom's down. I was like, well, you can come
Speaker 1: with us tomorrow. You don't have to go tomorrow, but
Speaker 1: we just need to get done today because I've got
Speaker 1: too much to do. A great offer. Yeah yeah, And
Speaker 1: he was like yeah for about one second and then
Speaker 1: he's just sobbing everything. Literally. I was like, what do
Speaker 1: you want for breakfast? Rice bubbles? So he's eating rice
Speaker 1: pubbles that little table there, sobbing into his life.
Speaker 2: He was like like command what he got broken up with?
Speaker 1: And then Macy's sitting acrost with him, and Macy goes
Speaker 1: she's at the moment she's really into doing thumbs up,
Speaker 1: and she goes big thumb up, but she does love
Speaker 1: this like the back of the hand towards the person.
Speaker 1: That's the right way to do it. That's it. And
Speaker 1: he just was like, I don't want a thumbs up.
Speaker 1: But I was just like, oh my god. Anyway, I
Speaker 1: had to take a few deep breaths and I said, Okay,
Speaker 1: it's all right, it's okay. Trying to be patient but
Speaker 1: also getting very frustrated, and because it's.
Speaker 2: Just every everything, every mouthful is a punished And I
Speaker 2: was like, okay, let's go, let's all go upstairs, let's
Speaker 2: go get dressed together.
Speaker 1: It's nice up there, the sun's out on the balcony there,
Speaker 1: into a nicer environment. She's still like like I'm good,
Speaker 1: but then she was sort of getting upset because he
Speaker 1: was getting upset and I was getting upset. And then
Speaker 1: I was like, it's going to be warm today, and
Speaker 1: I was like, just put some shorts on, and he
Speaker 1: was like, okay, no worries, and then he's just like
Speaker 1: putting a sock on, so slow, sobbing like morning pretty much.
Speaker 1: Did you want to FaceTime April just to nah? Because
Speaker 1: she was on the bas I did ring her and
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 2: Like, because sometimes you want to make him know what
Speaker 2: you're dealing with.
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know what to do. Like
Speaker 1: I was nearly going to be like, he's going to
Speaker 1: have to be here today because he was just so distraught,
Speaker 1: which I felt really bad about, but I just had
Speaker 1: too much on today. April was not here anyway, So
Speaker 1: we came back downstairs and he's like, oh, I'm cold.
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, well, why don't you go and
Speaker 1: put some pants on? Then? If you do, I didn't
Speaker 1: make himself through the cold. Like this was the eighties
Speaker 1: or fifties, they'd be like, suck it up, like suck
Speaker 1: it up. It was in the country, suck it up,
Speaker 1: go and melt the cows. He went upstairs and I
Speaker 1: was like cleaning up a little bit. Macy's having a
Speaker 1: sulk about something or whatever. I was like, oh, like,
Speaker 1: you're right, buddy, trying to just keep my tone nice, gentle,
Speaker 1: Oh are you okay, buddy? Like, because I also need
Speaker 1: to get them out of the door.
Speaker 2: Because when they were in that kind of mood, as
Speaker 2: soon as you raise your voice, just like a smith,
Speaker 2: just as soon as like any change in tone sets
Speaker 2: them off again.
Speaker 1: And he was already like the poor kid, like his
Speaker 1: eyes like he hadn't slept in days because he just
Speaker 1: cried for an hour straight, sobbed like I felt terrible.
Speaker 1: But anyway, I was like, oh, like, are you okay, buddy,
Speaker 1: like calling out up the stairs and he's like no.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, what what is it?
Speaker 1: And he was like, I can't get my feet through
Speaker 1: the holes. I walk upstairs and he's trying to put
Speaker 1: tracksuit pants on with his shoes still and his feet
Speaker 1: as stuck in the bottom bit like that. The rubbers
Speaker 1: just caught onto the cuff of the pant and he
Speaker 1: is just full. He's wailing at this point, and I
Speaker 1: fuck anyway, I'm up there, fixed him up, promised him
Speaker 1: heap chocolate, and Macy wanted I had to give him
Speaker 1: the same. So eventually we got to kindIn. He had
Speaker 1: a little cry there and then he's out the window,
Speaker 1: out the window waving like sobbing, and I thought I
Speaker 1: got in the car. I went I brought this upon
Speaker 1: myself last week by saying fucking see us later.
Speaker 2: The early educators of this country heard. Then they've cast
Speaker 2: a spell over Ashton Wicks. May his children be fucking
Speaker 2: moody forever.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like and then you know, I did.
Speaker 1: I did actually feel bad because I was like, wait,
Speaker 1: what path I felt bad until I got my can't
Speaker 1: drive away.
Speaker 2: In those situations when you drop them off a daycare,
Speaker 2: do you just drop and run?
Speaker 1: Because you know, sometimes that's exactly what I would do.
Speaker 1: Clean break is good, clean, bright, And like today I
Speaker 1: was like, this is payback for all the other times
Speaker 1: I've just dropped and ran like this was not like
Speaker 1: a wingy, annoying cry, like just this was he was
Speaker 1: legitimately sad and I actually felt for it heart. Yeah
Speaker 1: it did. It actually did. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: thank god, will you pick him up early, Papa, pick
Speaker 1: him up early today? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. My kids.
Speaker 2: Also, you called and Lola was screaming in the background.
Speaker 1: It was just it's the moon. The moon. It's not
Speaker 1: the blue moon or the red moon. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I feel like it was funny because Lola's screaming in
Speaker 1: the background. And then you got Marley on the phone going, ash,
Speaker 1: I can click, I can click. I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, how do I read the room? Yeah?
Speaker 2: It took me an hour and a half to get
Speaker 2: out the door. This morning, just one of those mornings.
Speaker 1: Anything sense so easily.
Speaker 2: One second they're having the time of their life, like
Speaker 2: we're in the same thing, We're in bed, everyone's like whoo.
Speaker 2: I showed Mali a photo when she was a baby,
Speaker 2: and she.
Speaker 1: Was like, oh, Dad, that's cute. Everyone's just like jumping
Speaker 1: on the bed. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then like a split second later, she wanted to
Speaker 2: do she wanted some drawing and I was like, no,
Speaker 2: I'm not doing drawing because we're going out of daycare
Speaker 2: flipping tables. And I was like, oh god, anyway, but hey,
Speaker 2: I want to speak to about There's two things. Two
Speaker 2: things that happened to me recently. The first is that
Speaker 2: I got my Father's Day gift from Laura.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she very generous.
Speaker 2: She booked in a massage Swedish Chinese Balinese fusion.
Speaker 1: I'll take. I'll take. I love a massage. I love
Speaker 1: a massage.
Speaker 2: But there's only one thing that I have to explain
Speaker 2: to the messus when I get a massage.
Speaker 1: They like, don't laugh at my third nipple. I said
Speaker 1: to the guy, I said, it was a man.
Speaker 2: It was a man, which is like, it's good in
Speaker 2: that it's strong.
Speaker 1: It's like a nice muscular I what.
Speaker 2: A firm massage. But I said to him, I'm like,
Speaker 2: look a lot of tension in my back and shoulders
Speaker 2: and neck. If you can focus on that area, I've.
Speaker 1: Got a lot of tension in my back, shoulders, neck, head, feet, arms, buttocks, legs, feet, everything, chest, stomach,
Speaker 1: A lot of tension. Get to it. And he understood.
Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, great.
Speaker 2: He's like oh because you on your laptop and I'm like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm on laptop all the time.
Speaker 1: You know, I like an email ash you love it.
Speaker 1: I love it. You opened up your computers today and
Speaker 1: the first thing that load's like your homepage is linked in.
Speaker 1: I love it, absolutely love it.
Speaker 2: I always have, always corporate. And I said, I just
Speaker 2: don't want my thighs to be done. I get very ticklish,
Speaker 2: so from the knee.
Speaker 1: I don't feel like being hypnal with that.
Speaker 2: And he was like, totally understand. And I said, fit
Speaker 2: calves fine me to hips noga. And I feel as
Speaker 2: though during my massage I was touched inappropriately a number
Speaker 2: of times.
Speaker 1: How look, it's best that we talk about it now
Speaker 1: so that the trauma doesn't build up and build up
Speaker 1: and build up, and then when you're an adult, because
Speaker 1: you're still a child, you have suffer long term trauma.
Speaker 2: And I talk about the twenty twenty three Father's Day
Speaker 2: massage that.
Speaker 1: And then you end up like mister Freeze across the
Speaker 1: street here, the local meth head who wills a samurai sorder.
Speaker 2: Who we will touch upon a little updated. Yes, give
Speaker 2: an update for people who are like mister Freeese. Don't
Speaker 2: worry Ben, we will tell you what's happening there. So
Speaker 2: he did the massage, he did my back and you know,
Speaker 2: you kind of like you have a gauge of time,
Speaker 2: you know, and he touched my back for it must
Speaker 2: have been ten minutes. And then he was already onto
Speaker 2: my calves and I thought that's pretty quick. And then
Speaker 2: he started then rubbing like my thighs.
Speaker 1: Why am I getting in a rector?
Speaker 2: And I thought, maybe he's just got his routine and
Speaker 2: we'll get back to the calves. And then he just
Speaker 2: like man, he was just he was working the thighs
Speaker 2: and the ass like he.
Speaker 1: Just was the back of the thigh. Yeah, so maybe
Speaker 1: he just thought you didn't want to do the front
Speaker 1: of the thigh.
Speaker 2: I was so specific and I said front back? Did
Speaker 2: you be like dude, well, I didn't want to fucking
Speaker 2: say anything.
Speaker 1: Were you naked?
Speaker 2: I had my budgies on, and I didn't know what
Speaker 2: to say, Like I didn't want to I thought, maybe
Speaker 2: he's going to do it. For a second, I had
Speaker 2: an hour and a half booked in. I never have
Speaker 2: an hour and a half, Like that's a fucking long time.
Speaker 2: And I would say it was like an hour of
Speaker 2: that was on my ass.
Speaker 1: Wow, Happy Father's Day, babe.
Speaker 2: He did this thing where he'd like it wasn't like rubbing.
Speaker 2: It was like he would just push in like a
Speaker 2: pressure point in my ass and then he did then
Speaker 2: like move my leg as he was like putting like.
Speaker 2: It was fucking strange and I've had this headache ever since.
Speaker 1: Fuck. Look it was that seems traumatic. But Laura, did
Speaker 1: you do the old when you go home and be like,
Speaker 1: but that was great? Laura was like, how was it?
Speaker 1: It was like, I think I might have cheated on
Speaker 1: your It's like getting a heck, it's a fear of mine. Look,
Speaker 1: I don't you hate massages. I hate I hated get
Speaker 1: touched in appropriately. This is a safe place. No no, no.
Speaker 1: Did you go to the saying one in Bondo? No? No, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: definitely not on Wall Street. Look, I was a monster,
Speaker 1: so I've heard. It's not that I'm afraid of being
Speaker 1: like touched by man. No, that's not it, because I'm like,
Speaker 1: as you know, a very touchy guy. Can I say
Speaker 1: one more thing? Yeah.
Speaker 2: One of the reasons why I don't like a man
Speaker 2: to give me massage is the hands are like really rough.
Speaker 2: It was very like the callouses.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like it. So there's a gym goer
Speaker 1: you were that How old was this guy? Forty?
Speaker 2: Very rough hands. It was like being massaged but someone
Speaker 2: was sound paper gloves on.
Speaker 1: I just don't like the feeling of a massage, whether
Speaker 1: it's being from a man or a woman. But the
Speaker 1: last massage, he'll change, perspective, the old made of Bonda,
Speaker 1: he'll change, he'll swing. Yeah. I was in Bali years ago.
Speaker 1: April and I both got a massage at a Ballei place.
Speaker 1: I can't like. I think it was incouder or leg
Speaker 1: you whatever. And this is the last massage I had
Speaker 1: so long before we were even married. I'm talking ten
Speaker 1: years ago since I've had a massage. I don't lie,
Speaker 1: you can, I just don't. I don't like the pressure
Speaker 1: of it. But this particular it was a man as well,
Speaker 1: nice guy whatever, but he literally beat me up. It
Speaker 1: was like a fucking like I like, he was like
Speaker 1: punching my back, like he was taking out some serious
Speaker 1: anger going to town on you. Did you say anything? No,
Speaker 1: because you can't. It's like when your heads I fucked
Speaker 1: your hair up and you're like it was great and
Speaker 1: then you go home and shave your head.
Speaker 2: Dude, the Messus could be hot whax on me, and
Speaker 2: I'd be like, that is lovely, that is beautiful.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get a third degree by very much great
Speaker 1: and like honestly, like just beat me up and that's
Speaker 1: all I remember. I'm a little bit traumatized from that.
Speaker 1: I think that I'm just like I didn't like that,
Speaker 1: So why would I do something I don't line? Do
Speaker 1: you like massages prior to that? Not really either, I
Speaker 1: don't know, but I think that just firmed up that
Speaker 1: this is not for me. Yeah. Look if someone like
Speaker 1: like when I go on like a roller or something
Speaker 1: like that, I hate that. I hate it, and people
Speaker 1: was like I love getting on the roller. Jesus Christ, Relax,
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. Does April ever give you a massage? Now?
Speaker 1: She doesn't touch me? Ah nah, because she knows I'm
Speaker 1: not into it. That's just not for me. Speaking of
Speaker 1: father today present, there's a guy who lives across the
Speaker 1: street from me here. First of all, really nice guy,
Speaker 1: so nice so that the other night when I went
Speaker 1: out onto the boxing and I got home at like
Speaker 1: two two thirty in the morning. Anyway, it was early
Speaker 1: in the morning, late at night, early in the morning.
Speaker 1: And I saw him a few days later and he
Speaker 1: comes up to me. He goes, he was you okay.
Speaker 1: I was like why. He goes, oh, you wake me
Speaker 1: up the other morning, because that garage is really squeaky.
Speaker 1: And I looked at the window and you were flat
Speaker 1: on your back in the garage. I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'd been out. He was like, how fucked up were you?
Speaker 1: And I was like no. I was like, no, no misunderstanding.
Speaker 1: He was like, I nearly called the ambulance. Did you
Speaker 1: pass out? No? So I was trying to close the garage,
Speaker 1: like I opened a little bit to slide in underneath
Speaker 1: like a cat burglar. He said he nearly called the
Speaker 1: police because he thought and then he realized. He's like,
Speaker 1: he thought we were getting robbed, and then he saw
Speaker 1: me and he thought, oh, he's dead. She's had a
Speaker 1: heart attack. But the reason I was so still is
Speaker 1: because I was edging the garage really really slowly to
Speaker 1: not wake the kids up. Why don't you just get
Speaker 1: some WD forty. I've done it now, I've done the
Speaker 1: WD forty. Yeah. But anyway, he's nice really nice guy.
Speaker 1: But I've been in this house now for too far
Speaker 1: other days, let's call it, and I've noticed something about him.
Speaker 1: And he's a grandfather. And he's got this shirt that
Speaker 1: he wears on both Father's days, which is great. So
Speaker 1: it's a shirt both father's days. So this one and
Speaker 1: last year, I got you, gotcha, confuse you the shit
Speaker 1: out of you. There. I thought maybe he was like English,
Speaker 1: he's American. Actually continue so actually when is American? Father? That?
Speaker 1: I keep tabs on that too. Maybe I've seen it more,
Speaker 1: but anyway, it's a great shirt. It's just a brown shirt,
Speaker 1: classic grandpa brown shirt, and on the back of his
Speaker 1: a photo of him and his granddaughter and it's his
Speaker 1: best friend since two thousand and eight. I love that
Speaker 1: like that, and he like proudly wears it on Father's Day.
Speaker 1: Like that is great. That's like honestly, like you know
Speaker 1: how there was like like my kids love Popper. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like it's like they hate dad but love Popper. Right,
Speaker 1: it's like our best friends. Do you think you get
Speaker 1: to that age you don't have any real friends. I'm
Speaker 1: already already at that age, which I think, yeah, super cute.
Speaker 1: But then it made me think about like shit Father's
Speaker 1: Day presence and every year anyone who has kids, kindie,
Speaker 1: they always make a really big effort to make sure
Speaker 1: that you get something from the kids are painting that's
Speaker 1: terrible or something. But I've got a beer cooler that's
Speaker 1: not bad.
Speaker 2: Got to be a cooller which was was drawn as
Speaker 2: a white beer cooler, which had been drawn by the kids.
Speaker 2: Got one from Mali, one from Lola Marley's was Okah,
Speaker 2: it was terrible.
Speaker 1: It was no good. It was it was you're like
Speaker 1: judging it. So who's the winner is really? Give you
Speaker 1: kids the complex the.
Speaker 2: One that Loa gave me, still on the floor of
Speaker 2: the car. She doesn't know what she can't even remember
Speaker 2: what happened this morning.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll get it. I'll put it in them. But
Speaker 1: that's not bad. That's not bad. Some shitty artwork, No,
Speaker 1: just the Wow, look how much shitty artworker's up there?
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's oscar get really pumped and you pick him
Speaker 2: up and he's like, oh, comes home and he goes, Daddy,
Speaker 2: look look I made.
Speaker 1: There's another stack up there. There's another stack in the
Speaker 1: family filing cabinet. Look at it. It's too much you're
Speaker 1: gonna throw it out, You're gonna frame it, wait for
Speaker 1: next winter and use it. There's kindly, But this year, look,
Speaker 1: and I feel like every week I'm having a swap
Speaker 1: at kindy And I'm sorry, this isn't a swap you
Speaker 1: because I appreciate the effort. Okay, that to go. We'll
Speaker 1: send Oscar home and Macy home with something to that.
Speaker 1: Appreciate the effort. So don't get me wrong, but there's
Speaker 1: no way I want a fucking jar AsSalt. And that's
Speaker 1: what I got this year. Okay, It's just it's a
Speaker 1: tiny jub I was like, I have it, yeah it, yeah, please?
Speaker 1: Who's coming up with these ideas? I don't hate it.
Speaker 1: I don't hate it. What's like the grass clippings in it?
Speaker 1: Like rosemary ideas? But why did they think that I
Speaker 1: wouldn't need salt? It's rosemary. It's rosemary infused salt what
Speaker 1: every father needs. Yeah, but that's like what who just
Speaker 1: so who signed off on that? Give me a beer caller.
Speaker 1: That's a lot of salt. It is a lot of salt.
Speaker 1: But like what like what like I just don't just
Speaker 1: don't get it, Matthew, Like I'm puffed from end upstairs
Speaker 1: to make you do that. But like, look, if you're listening,
Speaker 1: it's just gone past Father's Day, so of course, Happy
Speaker 1: Father's Day to everyone. Well this is going to come out.
Speaker 1: Well wait, we didn't even wish anyone. No, we didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't. That's why I did it on the story.
Speaker 1: But just tell us what you got that was shared. Look,
Speaker 1: it's a unique gift. It's weird that they didn't.
Speaker 2: And for anyone who's wondering what the salt looks like,
Speaker 2: we will put a photo of this slash video on
Speaker 2: our socials at two doting dads. But it's weird that
Speaker 2: it's not in any way painted by Oscar.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought, yeah, do you know what you paint that?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, that's cool. Here we go. God ashes
Speaker 1: off the table. He's now.
Speaker 2: He's getting something else. Not sure what it's going to be.
Speaker 1: Oh, he's good. This is last year. That's good gear.
Speaker 1: That's that's that's what I'm expecting. What's underneath it? Yeah,
Speaker 1: last year?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's that's Oscar's hand a wooden box. And
Speaker 2: again we'll put this on socials, a wooden box handprint.
Speaker 1: Happy Father's Day.
Speaker 2: Sticker and it says fun dad, strong dad, kind dad.
Speaker 1: That's not true.
Speaker 2: Why is dad sweet dad?
Speaker 1: Best dad? True? My dad? My dad? See that quality
Speaker 1: very different. Hey, I'm disgruntled. I understand. I was like,
Speaker 1: it's confusing, like here you go, is there anything else?
Speaker 1: Do you reckon? Do you reckon? Oscar's just broken into
Speaker 1: the kitchen and just yeah, yeah, the food down at
Speaker 1: Kinny's really blanding now but yeah, look, actually I forgot
Speaker 1: about that and just till now. But again in the cupboard, no,
Speaker 1: I can see it. But the artwork, there's too much.
Speaker 1: I understand.
Speaker 2: Also also love love people who work at daycare, all educators,
Speaker 2: you guys, unsung heroes of this.
Speaker 1: I already told them to get over themselves earlier on. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't think I can backflip on that, but that's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I am not having a dig at them,
Speaker 1: because it's the thought that counts. But just think about
Speaker 1: what you're sending home.
Speaker 2: There was every month there's like a new little fundraiser
Speaker 2: at our daycare, you know, sometimes really great organizations. It
Speaker 2: changes each time, and they're raising money.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure who's for only fans.
Speaker 2: I'm sure it's a very deserving organization. And the mechanic
Speaker 2: was I think it was a donation for art that
Speaker 2: has been created by like there's three different groups at decade.
Speaker 2: There's like the infants, there's like the toddlers, so maybe
Speaker 2: like one to two ish, and then there's like two three,
Speaker 2: two to four. And it was done by those who
Speaker 2: at age one to two.
Speaker 1: So it was like a.
Speaker 2: Stack of artwork that donated that you could donate a
Speaker 2: bit of money for and you get you get to
Speaker 2: choose your artwork.
Speaker 1: But it was just it was just it was so
Speaker 1: first of all, you're already sending home shitty artwork and
Speaker 1: now they're asking you to pay for more shitty artwork
Speaker 1: as a donation. And I'll tell you what, I'll give
Speaker 1: you the money. I don't want the shitty artwork because
Speaker 1: I could just about start my own artwork. I've got
Speaker 1: up there. And the rule is if any of that
Speaker 1: comes down, it goes straight to the bin. So if
Speaker 1: I pull that cupboard sometimes you know those coin machines,
Speaker 1: you put a coin and it pushes them to the
Speaker 1: edge and sometimes they fall out. If anything falls out
Speaker 1: of there, on one of the opens straight to the bin.
Speaker 2: I'm not opposed to throwing out artwork. Laura has a
Speaker 2: draw anything.
Speaker 1: Marley draws. She's very good. Marley is good. She's very good.
Speaker 2: And Laura keeps it all but like there's not like
Speaker 2: what are we going to do with it? You know,
Speaker 2: we reached a limit now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I also got a picture. I'd like this because
Speaker 1: it's a good laugh and it's like a picture and
Speaker 1: that it has what they love about their dad, but
Speaker 1: it's written not in their handwriting, because he can barely
Speaker 1: fucking write. The teachers said, you know, what do you
Speaker 1: like about your daddy? Mine was like, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: get it because back up again, Yeah you are okay.
Speaker 1: As I was saying, they send home these and it's
Speaker 1: got my dad, and then I love my dad because
Speaker 1: and then they write the rest of it because if
Speaker 1: I was his handwriting is that neat? Can I read it?
Speaker 1: Read it? So? Great?
Speaker 2: Picture of you blue nose and you've got a purple mouth,
Speaker 2: which is weird. I love my dad because he helps
Speaker 2: me with boxes and toys and making things.
Speaker 1: That's beautiful. Yeah, that's really nice. I like that, But
Speaker 1: you know they're always so random. April's one was the
Speaker 1: best for Mother's Day a couple of years ago. It
Speaker 1: was like, I love my mummy because she makes the
Speaker 1: drinks alcoholic. I was like, until people anyway, Ship presents.
Speaker 2: Ash before we do the segment one of your favorites,
Speaker 2: Budgie Smugglers Most Ordinary Parent. Do you want to give
Speaker 2: us a little update of mister Freeze aka the Samurai
Speaker 2: Wilding meth Head.
Speaker 1: The Samurai meth Head. Yeah. Look, there's been some more
Speaker 1: kerfuffles in the area. So if you heard the last
Speaker 1: episode he was wielding a samurai saw it in the
Speaker 1: kids park on a Sunday, which is prime time kids
Speaker 1: park time. And then I went over to the cafe
Speaker 1: yesterday and there was like three or four cop cars
Speaker 1: in the car park. Again what now? And I walked
Speaker 1: into the cafe and Peak goes, mister Freeze's at it again.
Speaker 1: Why do they call him? Mister Freeze? Is a nice said,
Speaker 1: I think to be creative. So it's not has nothing
Speaker 1: to do with Batman. You guys have given him that name,
Speaker 1: it's not. Yeah, he doesn't introduce himself as mister Freeze. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: First of all, I was like, this is a nickname
Speaker 1: that Pete's given him, and then I put the video
Speaker 1: on our socials of me telling that story last week,
Speaker 1: and two or three people have messaged me saying, oh, classic,
Speaker 1: mister Freeze. So he's known in the area now as
Speaker 1: mister Freeze and he will not go by any other
Speaker 1: name other than that. And he's still and if he's listening,
Speaker 1: the samurai saw was taken off him and he somehow
Speaker 1: produced a new samurai. I don't know, but if you
Speaker 1: go into his Facebook, it's really bad because he lives
Speaker 1: close and he'll probably come after me. Sorry. Kids. A
Speaker 1: photo his profile picture is a photo of a samurai saw. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but which one. We're not sure it's actually it's actually
Speaker 1: a clip out of a samurai with like a Japanese
Speaker 1: dragon behind it. It's safe to say the guy's into
Speaker 1: samurai saw. Anyway, We love you, mister Freeze. When you
Speaker 1: come out on Parole. We cannot wait to have you
Speaker 1: on the podcast back. Well, apparently he held his parents hostage. Okay,
Speaker 1: I wonder if he's got any kids. Been nice to
Speaker 1: have him on. Well, Pete was saying that he was
Speaker 1: he was out in the front of his house with
Speaker 1: a fishing rod, casting the fishing rod into the car. Park. Okay,
Speaker 1: like he was fishing, what are you catch trying to catch?
Speaker 1: What are you trying to catch? Mate? Thank you for
Speaker 1: the update. It's going to the new segment.
Speaker 2: Let's should we have this like a running a running segment.
Speaker 1: Freeze should get his home address and knock on his door.
Speaker 1: I know roughly which one is. But look, I'm very
Speaker 1: mindful that if he has any idea of who you are,
Speaker 1: you'll follow me. I will never do another record here again.
Speaker 1: Let's do this segment, Budgie Smoker's most Ordinary parent. I
Speaker 1: thought you'd never ask. Let's do it. We just argent
Speaker 1: repair ordinary repair. We don't know what we do. We
Speaker 1: don't know what we're doing because repair. Those of you
Speaker 1: who don't know what this segment is. It's brought to
Speaker 1: you by Budget Smugglud of course, and I fighted. That's okay,
Speaker 1: I farted across the six again. Play on. You have
Speaker 1: the opportunity, not you, Matthew. The listeners have the opportunity
Speaker 1: to win two hundred dollars worth of Budget Smugglers product,
Speaker 1: which is great. Every time we rung this segment, and
Speaker 1: the segment is based around the ordinary parenting you do.
Speaker 1: And example is The winner last week was someone who
Speaker 1: secretly breaks their kids toys so that she has an
Speaker 1: excuse to throw them out.
Speaker 2: I was thinking about last week. I do think that
Speaker 2: and deserving.
Speaker 1: Of the award the gift for trying to take it
Speaker 1: back off.
Speaker 2: No, I would never take it back off her because
Speaker 2: we've given it out and I'm glad that she got it.
Speaker 2: But I did think, don't you reckon? It's better off
Speaker 2: just to like, when the kids are away, you can
Speaker 2: just throw things out without them realizing.
Speaker 1: I see it. You can also instead of throwing them out,
Speaker 1: maybe donate them. Okay, but that's different. I think the
Speaker 1: reason for the breaking them secretly and then pretending to
Speaker 1: break them when the kids are there so they know
Speaker 1: what happened to them. So there's sometimes when i've for example,
Speaker 1: the other night, I woke up in the middle of
Speaker 1: nights who get Oscar? Because he pissed the bed and
Speaker 1: I stepped on his favorite monster truck snapped the wheel
Speaker 1: off of hidden it. He doesn't know yet somehow I'm
Speaker 1: going to make so it looks like he broke it anyway.
Speaker 1: That's what this segment's all about. But if I just
Speaker 1: threw that out, for example, and he was like, where's
Speaker 1: my grave digger monster truck. Then I'll be like, oh,
Speaker 1: throw it out. That's way worse when you go, oh,
Speaker 1: mommy accidentally broke it, silly clumsy mummy. Ha. We'll have
Speaker 1: to throw it out because it's not fixable. So that's
Speaker 1: what your points nullum voice. Sorry, apologies. Okay, So this week,
Speaker 1: let's go. We'll do the same thing. We'll read out
Speaker 1: one age and then we'll read out the winter. And
Speaker 1: I've got an absolute cracker for the winner. I reckon
Speaker 1: he's been warning. No Jesus a tag on them. They
Speaker 1: smell tangy.
Speaker 2: We've got Budgies over the mics and these are the
Speaker 2: customs limited edition Jam Pikelerts Pink Budgy smugglers. We will
Speaker 2: at some point give some out.
Speaker 1: We will. Yes, I've got some on the way. They're
Speaker 1: fucking great. A they're brand new. No, they're bananas. I
Speaker 1: love it. Yeah, I've got I've got them all man. Okay,
Speaker 1: so I've got a great one here. Great in terms
Speaker 1: of this is fucking average. This is very average. I
Speaker 1: shouldn't laugh. You shouldn't be I shouldn't laugh, but I
Speaker 1: will from Meg another Meg Meg won at last week
Speaker 1: is the same. I don't ever last name. Maybe Meg's
Speaker 1: just like Meg's just an ordinary preparent. He loves Budgie,
Speaker 1: she says, hungover question Mark.
Speaker 2: Sometimes we are. She has a great solution, throw a
Speaker 2: handful of sultanas all across the floor and head straight
Speaker 2: back to bed. These kids occupied for hours an hour?
Speaker 2: How many is she throwing?
Speaker 1: She's just like one of those Kilo bags.
Speaker 2: It's like when you're a farmer and you're feeding pigs
Speaker 2: and you're just throwing feet off the floor.
Speaker 1: Trying to keep me entertained. I know a look, I
Speaker 1: know what you mean. Like that, my kids love sultanas.
Speaker 1: Might have grown out of the sultana phase. Do you
Speaker 1: know what would really get him? If I threw like
Speaker 1: a bunch of Eminem's, Oh, that would be it. I'd
Speaker 1: get it. It's to sleep all day, just really really quickly.
Speaker 2: We have a packet of Eminem's and it sits next
Speaker 2: to the wheat picks. And this morning I got the
Speaker 2: wheat picks out and the Eminem's packet fell on the ground.
Speaker 2: I like a few Eminem's like bounced.
Speaker 1: andCA It's like it was like little rodents.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, honestly, before I had a chance, Lola was like,
Speaker 2: looking at she's already an I give it back, like
Speaker 2: wrestling with that.
Speaker 1: She's like, that's great. So the next one, this is
Speaker 1: also not the winner. This is just another one which
Speaker 1: we thought was really good as well. Actually I really
Speaker 1: do like this one. So Marie, she doubles the bedding
Speaker 1: for any incidents during the night. So Matthew, what she
Speaker 1: would do is go waterproof sheet, then fitted sheet, waterproof
Speaker 1: sheet and then fitted sheet. It's kind of like the
Speaker 1: pasta past. So what she does is like the other
Speaker 1: night when I got up and Oscar piss of the
Speaker 1: bed and you had to sleep in our room because
Speaker 1: it was like, oh, I'm going to get the sheets
Speaker 1: off and change it. Fuck that at three o'clock in
Speaker 1: the morning. It was just getting a bed with us.
Speaker 1: This just ripped the top two layers off. That is
Speaker 1: genius and straight back into bed.
Speaker 2: At the moment, Lola is obsessed with warm water. She's
Speaker 2: not having the milk, and she's waking.
Speaker 1: Up in the middle of the night. She's just obsessed with.
Speaker 2: She's so all or nothing at the moment, dummies and
Speaker 2: warm water. And then she'll have two or three bottles
Speaker 2: of warm water and we try and give her like
Speaker 2: a little bit and she just pisss right through the nappy.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, just like like all nine yeah, and
Speaker 1: then we have to bring her into bed and it's
Speaker 1: just that is genius. That's great from her. Name's Marie Morale. Oh,
Speaker 1: we've got the winner. We have the winner, please, Matthew.
Speaker 1: This week's winner comes from someone by the name of Caitlin. Great.
Speaker 1: This one's come on our email. So she's emailed us,
Speaker 1: which is in the bio of two Doting Dads. It
Speaker 1: is two D D two double D at a look
Speaker 1: dot com correct or you can dms, but email it's
Speaker 1: good too. So it comes from Kaitlyn. And Kaitlyn says,
Speaker 1: our eighteen month old likes to empty out the contents
Speaker 1: of our top bedside draw. What have we got there?
Speaker 1: Her favorite thing to play with is a pair of
Speaker 1: sex dies, amongst some other adult things. She's at a
Speaker 1: she's at the age where it's often just easier to
Speaker 1: let her play with them rather than deal with the tens,
Speaker 1: and so I just let her go. And then she
Speaker 1: goes on to say and says, it was pretty awkward,
Speaker 1: Mum and dad came over and she was playing with sex,
Speaker 1: diyes and lube in the loud. So that is our
Speaker 1: winner for this week. Caitlyn gradually happy, play on. I
Speaker 1: love this segment weekend. It's an absolute crack Like. I
Speaker 1: get a few emails and they're all pretty good.
Speaker 2: Great, great, So Caitlin, we will be in touch. We
Speaker 2: will send you your voucher two hundred bucks worth of
Speaker 2: budget smuggler gear.
Speaker 1: Congratulations. Yes. To finish off today, we're going to just
Speaker 1: do a couple of questions. So every week we answer
Speaker 1: the questions of this great nation. They rely on us
Speaker 1: heavily to answer these questions. But also don't take any
Speaker 1: advice that we give you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you have a question, please send it through. Yes,
Speaker 2: we would love to hear from the parents of this country.
Speaker 2: It gives me great pride.
Speaker 1: Of any country. But don't just pigeonhole us. No. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll take anything, any country from around the world. I'll
Speaker 1: take it. I would you like to go first? Oh? Yeah, okay, sure,
Speaker 1: why not? I'll go first? All right? Matthew. What do
Speaker 1: you enjoy doing for your wife that you know helps
Speaker 1: them out? Absolutely nothing too. There's a few things that
Speaker 1: I do you are a very doting dad, guilty guilty
Speaker 1: loving husband has charged? Well, that's what I'll say at
Speaker 1: your funeral, will be like he was a very doting
Speaker 1: dad loving husband. My now wife, Laura, allow anywhere near
Speaker 1: my funeral. You miss completely miss my joke. You know
Speaker 1: I heard it. I fucking heard it. Mine now wife
Speaker 1: and step children. I have my sister wives, able and Laura.
Speaker 1: Laura is a big fan. She is at her absolute
Speaker 1: happiest slash horniest when the house is clean.
Speaker 2: If the house is dirty, which it often is with
Speaker 2: two kids, it's very unlikely that she would be in
Speaker 2: the mood. But actually, like we have a fortnight. We
Speaker 2: have a cleaner come through on a Thursday and gives
Speaker 2: us a little.
Speaker 1: Hand just having sex with the clean don't let me
Speaker 1: out like that man, come on. Yeah, And like Laura
Speaker 1: comes home, it's like fuck, yeah, I got to wash
Speaker 1: that clean and whip around mouse that mop.
Speaker 2: She loves it when it's spotless, and I will like
Speaker 2: sometimes I'll like, you know, I'll just vacuum the floor,
Speaker 2: I'll put the washing away because she comes home. And
Speaker 2: it's more so like I'll only do the tasks that
Speaker 2: have strong visual Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like I won't do like it's like these they
Speaker 1: put the good apples at the front. Similar thing. Yes,
Speaker 1: you're like, okay, what does she see when she walks
Speaker 1: in if there's no shoes and stuff on the entrance
Speaker 1: to the how.
Speaker 2: And then when she walks through and she sees at
Speaker 2: the kitchen table, She's just that's just the dumping ground
Speaker 2: of all the clearings.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, you know, I just I'll hide that
Speaker 1: in like closet somewhere with rubbish bags. She's like, all
Speaker 1: she cares about is just she gets weaker than these.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Literally, she's like, man, and then the icing on the cake,
Speaker 1: the cremedther crem is. I'm very guilty.
Speaker 2: I take my clothes off and if it's worn but
Speaker 2: not dirty enough to be put in the laundry.
Speaker 1: But it's floor drope. Yes, yeah, and I'm so guilty
Speaker 1: of it. I know you are, as he's every couple
Speaker 1: and every man. Hence the video I have made on
Speaker 1: that where it's kind of like you're gonna put this
Speaker 1: in the washing. They're not dirty, he put them away.
Speaker 1: They're clean. Well, they're not exactly clean. It's the halfway pile.
Speaker 1: There needs to be a better invention for where that
Speaker 1: stuff can be called a chair. That's the next thing.
Speaker 1: I put my clothes away and Laura sees that the
Speaker 1: bedroom is clean. Well, yeah, it's on business. Damn they
Speaker 1: not keep her off me. Yeah, that's what I do.
Speaker 1: What do you do? What do I do? Oh? Look?
Speaker 1: Oh look do you know what I do? Or do nothing?
Speaker 1: She don't care how drink she gets home, Like, what's
Speaker 1: for dinner? Look? I cook? I cook every night. That's
Speaker 1: my thing. Like last night I cooked and then I
Speaker 1: did all the washing up and we were on the phone.
Speaker 1: I just went into autopiloted. And if I'm just happy,
Speaker 1: if she says thanks babe, and then she can go off,
Speaker 1: have a shower, go and read and let me let
Speaker 1: me be what I'm doing. Love it. That is just beautiful,
Speaker 1: kind of sad. Okay, last question, what is the best
Speaker 1: thing about having two kids? Very good question, because you'd
Speaker 1: think that there's not a lot of good things other
Speaker 1: than twice the love, I would say, And I had
Speaker 1: a moment the other day where me, Macey and Osca
Speaker 1: went to the park. Okay, and I had a moment
Speaker 1: where Macy was in the swing, and swing's a great
Speaker 1: one because you could just be like yeah, I but
Speaker 1: Oscar started pushing Macy on the swing and I just
Speaker 1: sat down and I was like, how fucking good is this?
Speaker 1: This is why you have two so that the older
Speaker 1: one can eventually take over your duties as the parent.
Speaker 1: That is the best thing about having two kids.
Speaker 2: And next week Oscar will be on the podcast, should
Speaker 2: be on the couch drinking beer.
Speaker 1: We'll be divorced. So how was your week, He'd be like,
Speaker 1: I had a kidney on Wednesday.
Speaker 2: When when the kids start playing with each other nicely,
Speaker 2: it is a beautiful thing, and it doesn't last that
Speaker 2: long because often anything that Lola touches, Lola is for
Speaker 2: those who aren't familiar, Lola is two for me, Marley
Speaker 2: is four lower touches anything.
Speaker 1: She's two for you, she two for everybody else. I
Speaker 1: can see how you can find that funny is fucking terrible.
Speaker 1: Two for everyone.
Speaker 2: But anything that Lola touches anything at all, Mary's like,
Speaker 2: oh I fuck, it was just about to grab I
Speaker 2: want it now, And so that often ends in an argument.
Speaker 1: It's like that video I made of George Stanza, and
Speaker 1: that literally as soon as I saw that, I was.
Speaker 2: Like that is what it's like having to Lola will
Speaker 2: touch the play dough and then Marley's like, I was
Speaker 2: just about to play with that, and then I can
Speaker 2: like coax it out of Lola give it to Marley
Speaker 2: and Marley's having and then Lola will then grab like
Speaker 2: the soccer ball and Then's like, well, that's my soccer
Speaker 2: ball as well.
Speaker 1: The worst is when they like I had it first
Speaker 1: and it was like you have it three days ago.
Speaker 1: It's a nightmare.
Speaker 2: But then there are moments, very brief moments like you know,
Speaker 2: we have a little doll house up in their room,
Speaker 2: and then I can hear them playing and I can
Speaker 2: like just like pop my head like just ever so
Speaker 2: slightly in the doorway and I can see them playing,
Speaker 2: and they're playing like moms and dads, and it's just
Speaker 2: warm as my cold dead heart. When they're being a
Speaker 2: happy like a year and a half between, they're pretty close. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and like no that they may grow up to be
Speaker 2: best friends.
Speaker 1: Maybe all they might hate each other. I'm sure they will. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm sure they will. It's beautiful and like Oscar is
Speaker 1: like the same. But anyway, update on Oscar just before
Speaker 1: we go, before we let the good people of all
Speaker 1: the nations go update on Oscar. From the start of
Speaker 1: this conversation, we have you started laughing. We have received
Speaker 1: communication that Oscar needs to be picked up from KINDI okay,
Speaker 1: so not only have I paid for the day, now
Speaker 1: he's got to spend the day here, so I'll better
Speaker 1: go on do that. Yes, and oh he made it
Speaker 1: to one thirty. Yeah, that's pretty good, so look, thank
Speaker 1: you again. Oh can I just say one thing? Yes, Ash,
Speaker 1: you know this.
Speaker 2: The good people of this podcast don't know this. On
Speaker 2: the sixteenth of September, which is a Saturday, I'm going
Speaker 2: to be taking on a new job as chief packing
Speaker 2: Officer at ALDI, albeit at Brookvale Brooker Deval, which is
Speaker 2: your neck of the words.
Speaker 1: Ash. For two bucks, I will pack you at the
Speaker 1: checkout because Matt really needs the money. Times are tough
Speaker 1: for this podcast is not making us any money anymore.
Speaker 1: So I'm now at Aldi.
Speaker 2: All that money that's donated will then go to Camp
Speaker 2: Quality for Kids with cancer.
Speaker 1: Two bucks rip off. I think that's two bucks are back.
Speaker 2: I was saying, yeah, or the whole lot per shopper,
Speaker 2: per shopper two bucks.
Speaker 1: It's like me and a bunch of shoppers get together
Speaker 1: and be like, look, we can all chip in twenty cents. No,
Speaker 1: it is for a good cause. Christ I'm going to
Speaker 1: come down. That's a lie. I'm not going to come down.
Speaker 1: You won't look if I'm going to come down. I
Speaker 1: really wanted to come down to shame you, but I
Speaker 1: feel because it's for charity, I can't do that. You
Speaker 1: can shame me if you want. Okay, cool wi heckle
Speaker 1: me hit the checkout. I was going to bring a
Speaker 1: bunch of my mates down. Yeah. Nothing, Well, I don't
Speaker 1: know if I should wear the short shorts or like
Speaker 1: pants short shorts, Yeah, get the pins out. Laura doesn't
Speaker 1: like him regress, talk about what she likes. I'm doing it.
Speaker 1: I'm doing it for you a bit. The missus from
Speaker 1: Bondey as well. Every there. He already text me, he said,
Speaker 1: make sure you convince him to weather short.
Speaker 2: So yeah, sixteen Saturday, Aldi brook Vale, all for good cause,
Speaker 2: for cant quality and as you've got to go pick
Speaker 2: up Oscar, we should.
Speaker 1: Get out of here. If you enjoyed today's sorry, please
Speaker 1: if you enjoyed today's episodes, please hit subscribe button. Send
Speaker 1: it to someone that could use a per cup, A
Speaker 1: parent or a non parent who cares. Jump onto Spotify,
Speaker 1: Jump onto Apple, iHeartRadio. Leave a review five stars. Follow
Speaker 1: us on our Instagram, what said and we love you.
Speaker 1: Clearly I need to go so yeah two.
Speaker 2: Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Speaker 2: Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
Speaker 1: peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land