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Speaker 1: I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the

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Speaker 1: land on which this episode is being recorded, the Combomb

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Speaker 1: Merry people. They've been having conversations and telling stories on

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Speaker 1: this land for thousands of years, and we show our

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Speaker 1: gratitude and respect for their contribution to our environment and culture.

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Speaker 1: This is Rise and Conquer, the podcast where we strive

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Speaker 1: to become the highest version of ourselves through curious conversations,

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Speaker 1: healthy mindsets, laughter, connection, and a deep desire to evolve.

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Speaker 1: I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson. Join me as we explore parenthood, business, manifestation,

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Speaker 1: and so much more. It's positive, it's practical, and it's

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Speaker 1: about putting you in the driver's seat of your own life.

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Speaker 1: Are you ready? Hello, my loves, and welcome back to

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Speaker 1: the RNC potty. So I know we are coming up

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Speaker 1: to the end of the year Christmas time, New Year's time,

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Speaker 1: and there is going to be a lot of socializing,

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Speaker 1: a lot of family obligations, and a lot of moments

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Speaker 1: where you might not have a lot of control about

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Speaker 1: who you're around or what people say, or if they judge,

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Speaker 1: if they make comments, and honestly, like Christmas time, it

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Speaker 1: can be super triggering time. For a lot of us,

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Speaker 1: especially we delve into personal development and we get really

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Speaker 1: good at protecting our peace through the year and with friends,

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Speaker 1: but when it comes to family and it comes to

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Speaker 1: kind of social obligations around this time of year, it

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Speaker 1: can be hard, and it can be triggering, and it

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Speaker 1: can be a lot. So I wanted to do an

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Speaker 1: episode basically talking to you about how you can protect

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Speaker 1: your piece over this time, also how triggers can be

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Speaker 1: the most incredible lessons, And I'm going to give you

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Speaker 1: some insight on what these triggers could mean and how

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Speaker 1: we can use them to accelerate our personal growth and

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Speaker 1: just become completely detached from what people think of us

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Speaker 1: and how that makes us feel. And that's really such

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Speaker 1: a superpower when you are able to have someone be judgmental,

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Speaker 1: to make not nice comments and it doesn't affect you.

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Speaker 1: First of all, let's just talk about protecting our peace.

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Speaker 1: And I just want to say, guys, it is not

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Speaker 1: selfish to have boundaries to know when you will allow

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Speaker 1: people to talk to you a certain way and to

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Speaker 1: make comments about things. And I think this is such

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Speaker 1: a great time to really practice what we preach and

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Speaker 1: not just do self development where we're comfortable, but also

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Speaker 1: with people who maybe don't understand this world, and it

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Speaker 1: really gets to be an incredible time where you get

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Speaker 1: to like step up. And I do want to say,

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Speaker 1: and this might be a little bit hard to swallow,

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Speaker 1: but no one can make you feel a certain way, like,

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Speaker 1: no one actually has that power over you. Only you

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Speaker 1: have the power to let people make you feel a

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Speaker 1: certain way. So that's where detachment being such an amazing superpower.

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Speaker 1: And I'm going to get into that later on. It's

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Speaker 1: really your responsibility to be your best self and to

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Speaker 1: handle these moments with grace, compassion, kindness, and having strong

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Speaker 1: boundaries because it's really no one else's responsibility but your

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Speaker 1: own during this time. Okay, So first of all, let's

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Speaker 1: just chat about how we can protect our peace. I've

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Speaker 1: got a couple of steps for you. How many steps

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Speaker 1: have I got? About seven or right? We love a

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Speaker 1: good long step process. Some tips for protecting your peace.

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Speaker 1: I want you to set clear intentions. So before any

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Speaker 1: gathering or get together, I want you to take a

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Speaker 1: moment beforehand and ground yourself, actually say an attention and

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Speaker 1: affirmation of I choose peace, I choose authenticity, and I

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Speaker 1: choose to stay true to myself in every inter action,

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Speaker 1: and that's just it's setting the scene and like you know,

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Speaker 1: you could even visualize yourself moving through the day of

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Speaker 1: I'm in my authenticity and i am true to myself

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Speaker 1: and I'm acting with this clear intention. Another great thing

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Speaker 1: that I do before I go to any family event

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Speaker 1: or any event with more than like five people. I'm

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Speaker 1: personally an introvert, so I get energy by being by myself,

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Speaker 1: and so when I'm with a lot of people, I

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Speaker 1: could really enjoy it and really love it, but it

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Speaker 1: actually really drains me. And so something that I do

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Speaker 1: as a little beautiful practice is I create an energy

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Speaker 1: bubble around myself. And so this is something that I

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Speaker 1: do because I find when I'm around a lot of

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Speaker 1: people it can drain me, and I create an energy

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Speaker 1: like shield. And so we actually have how to do

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Speaker 1: this in the Rise app. But basically, just visualize yourself

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Speaker 1: with this beautiful, like protected, safe bubble around you. This

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Speaker 1: is your energy, this is your safe space, and don't

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Speaker 1: let other people's energy hook into you. People can take

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Speaker 1: your energy, but it's not without your permission. So what

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Speaker 1: this bubble does is just really create a beautiful practice

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Speaker 1: where you're like, no, this is my energy and I

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Speaker 1: won't let other people's energy affect me. Another thing to

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Speaker 1: do during these times is protect your nervous system. So

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Speaker 1: when we get triggered, it is a response that we

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Speaker 1: cannot control. So you know, when our uncle says something,

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Speaker 1: our parents ask, you know, why we didn't get better grades,

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Speaker 1: or how something went in our business, and maybe we

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Speaker 1: don't want to talk about it, or you know, make

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Speaker 1: a comment about us being single, or when are we

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Speaker 1: getting married, when we're having kids, all those sorts of things.

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Speaker 1: And if this is a wound for you, you will

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Speaker 1: be triggered and you will have a physiological response, like

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Speaker 1: your body will have a response where you might start

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Speaker 1: feeling like heart increase, you might get sweaty hands, And

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Speaker 1: this is a physical response putting you in flight or fight.

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Speaker 1: And it's really hard for us to clearly communicate and

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Speaker 1: to converse and to even think clearly during those moments

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Speaker 1: when we get triggered. And that's why often when we

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Speaker 1: get triggered, we get put in this state where we

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Speaker 1: don't act in our best selves and we just become reactive.

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Speaker 1: We can become you know, quite mean, or we can

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Speaker 1: go really quiet and we're not our best selves and

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Speaker 1: it's because we're having like a physical response. And so

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Speaker 1: during this time, I would be really looking after your

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Speaker 1: nervous system, so you know, simple things is like getting

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Speaker 1: enough sleep, meditating, breathing, going for a walk, getting into

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Speaker 1: nature journ and really focusing on you having enough regulating

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Speaker 1: your nervous system so when you get in those moments

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Speaker 1: you can keep it regulated. Another thing to protect your

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Speaker 1: piece is to find your support system. So like people

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Speaker 1: who uplift you. I feel like anytime you go to

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Speaker 1: like a family event or a social event, there will

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Speaker 1: always be people there that you're like, you know, they're

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Speaker 1: good eggs, and just like you make sure you gravitate

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Speaker 1: towards them, find solace in them. It's quality over quantity.

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Speaker 1: So even if you're not talking to many people, if

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Speaker 1: you're talking to the good people and you're like basking

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Speaker 1: in their energy, that is so much better. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: probably like my actual practical tips on protecting your peace.

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Speaker 1: I think the biggest one is the nervous system regulation.

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Speaker 1: Let's get into what triggers can mean and how we

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Speaker 1: can make them really work for us and be the

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Speaker 1: most amazing lessons for us. I'm going to take you

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Speaker 1: through my step by step process when a trigger happens.

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Speaker 1: So this is just like I said, when you're at

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Speaker 1: a social event, family event, someone says a comment, your

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Speaker 1: partner says something, or this is even just like you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure my mom's out there. Like you know, getting

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Speaker 1: to a family event, it can feel really stressful, like

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Speaker 1: you're fighting with your partner, you're trying to get the

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Speaker 1: kids ready, and it's like the whole thing feels fucking stressful,

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Speaker 1: and you're like why why is this so difficult? Like

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Speaker 1: it's no different to us getting in the car any

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Speaker 1: other time. Why is it so stressful? So that is

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Speaker 1: a trigger. Anytimes someone says something and you want to

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Speaker 1: have a big reaction, like you want to put them

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Speaker 1: in their place. You want to be like no, I'm

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Speaker 1: about to tell you like you're you know, you feel

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Speaker 1: that arcing up. I've got to defend myself. That is

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Speaker 1: what a trigger is. First of all, the first step

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Speaker 1: I want you to do and what I'm about to

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Speaker 1: take you through. It's kind of like shadow work, which

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Speaker 1: like shadow work is showing you that triggers they just

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Speaker 1: reveal unsolved parts of yourself that are seeking attention and healing,

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Speaker 1: and we use shadow work to help us uncover these

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Speaker 1: and integrate these parts, and we create more self awareness

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Speaker 1: and inner peace. And basically, if you think of like

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Speaker 1: a shadow, it's behind us. It's dark. It's often parts

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Speaker 1: of ourselves that we don't want to look at, whereas

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Speaker 1: the light that's like our really great qualities, things we

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Speaker 1: think make us a great human. But we're a whole human,

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Speaker 1: like we include light and dark, and so shadow work

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Speaker 1: basically just brings the shadow into the light and we

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Speaker 1: integrate them so they know no longer trigger us and

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Speaker 1: we heal them. The first step I want you to

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Speaker 1: do is pause and observe the trigger. So when you

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Speaker 1: feel triggered, take a deep breath, like when you want

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Speaker 1: to ark up, when you want to be reactive, when

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Speaker 1: you want to be like, no, fuck you, here's what

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Speaker 1: I really think. Or you want to yell at your

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Speaker 1: kids or your husband or your partner or your parents.

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Speaker 1: I want you to have that awareness. And because it's

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Speaker 1: really hard with triggers, because it's we always think the

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Speaker 1: other person is like the worst person in the world

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Speaker 1: and nothing's wrong with us. But stay with me hereah,

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Speaker 1: And I want you to ask yourself what am I

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Speaker 1: feeling right now? Is it anger? Is it sadness? Is

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Speaker 1: it frustration? Is it shame? Is it guilt? What's the

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Speaker 1: actual feeling of the trigger? So once we've got that,

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Speaker 1: have awareness, pause, don't react. Next thing I want you

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Speaker 1: to do is just like reflect and be like, what

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Speaker 1: specific specifically about this has upset me? What might this

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Speaker 1: kind of have to do with? So, for example, if

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Speaker 1: you're going to a family event and you're trying to

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Speaker 1: get the kids in the car and you know your

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Speaker 1: husband's like off doing a poop in the toilet and

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Speaker 1: your kids aren't listening to you, and you like want

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Speaker 1: to just scream your lungs out. Is it actually the

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Speaker 1: kids and the husband like valid or is it the

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Speaker 1: fact that maybe your parents make comments about you being

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Speaker 1: late all the time, and so you have internalized this

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Speaker 1: story where it's like, no, I'm a put together person.

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Speaker 1: I'm not a messy person. I'm not a late person.

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Speaker 1: And so you are feeling stressed because you're like, no, bit,

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Speaker 1: if I'm late, They're gonna roll their eyes, They're gonna

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Speaker 1: think blah blah blah. Do do you understand what I mean? So, like,

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Speaker 1: go a couple of steps deeper than the initial. My

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Speaker 1: husband's annoying me, my kids have ferral? What specifically am

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Speaker 1: I actually upset about? Like what is this touching? If

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Speaker 1: it's a relative saying like when you're having kids, it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that is a rude thing to say. But deep down,

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Speaker 1: do you actually feel shame for not having kids at

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Speaker 1: your age? Do you see what I mean? Like, take

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Speaker 1: it back to you. We're not focusing on them right now,

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Speaker 1: So reflect on like the root cause, like what is

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Speaker 1: this actually touching? The next step I want you to

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Speaker 1: do is to explore the stories that you're telling yourself

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Speaker 1: because of this root cause. So like you know, with

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Speaker 1: a single thing of like well, I should have a

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Speaker 1: partner at this age, I should be married, I should

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Speaker 1: be on time. I do feel like I'm you know, messy.

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Speaker 1: I do feel like I'm not put together. I should

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Speaker 1: look and be a certain way. Notice like the shoulds

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Speaker 1: and the coulds. Or it's like, you know, let's say

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Speaker 1: your uncle makes a passing comment about your business and

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Speaker 1: it's like, deep down you don't feel successful enough or

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Speaker 1: you don't feel good enough, that sort of thing, and

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Speaker 1: really think about the stories, explore the story that you're

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Speaker 1: telling yourself, you know, the limiting beliefs. So the next step,

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Speaker 1: which I think is really important to journal on, and

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Speaker 1: I'm going to put these journal prompts in the show notes,

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Speaker 1: but basically just go through, like what emotion did this trigger?

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Speaker 1: And where did I feel it in my body? We

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Speaker 1: often hold things in our body and so have a

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Speaker 1: feel into where it's held. When have I felt this

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Speaker 1: way before? So often we can trace back wounds to previously.

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Speaker 1: So let's say it's about the being single at a

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Speaker 1: certain age. Is you could chase it back to when

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Speaker 1: you were fourteen years old and your dad made a

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Speaker 1: comment about your Arnie being forty and single and no

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Speaker 1: kids and made a comment about how like frivolous she is,

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Speaker 1: or like how she's not leading a real life or

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Speaker 1: she has actually no challenges responsibilities, you know, he was

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Speaker 1: putting her down or something like that. So trace it

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Speaker 1: back to a specific memory if you can, then journal

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Speaker 1: on like what beliefs about myself or the world is

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Speaker 1: being activated? Is it actually true that you have to

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Speaker 1: have kids at a certain age? Obviously not? What part

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Speaker 1: of myself am I rejecting or not accepting fully? So

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Speaker 1: this is a huge part because shadow work is we

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Speaker 1: are often rejecting parts of ourselves. So think about the

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Speaker 1: example of being late and your parents thinking or you know,

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Speaker 1: not put together. What part of you are you rejecting there? Well,

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Speaker 1: I can see straight away it's like you feel like

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Speaker 1: you need to be perfect for your parents. You feel like, well, no,

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Speaker 1: I have to be on time and the kids will

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Speaker 1: have to look their best, et cetera, et cetera. So

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Speaker 1: you're basically saying the parts of you that aren't one

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Speaker 1: hundred percent perfect are not okay, And you can see

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Speaker 1: how that is a huge wound that you need to heal.

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Speaker 1: And then the last journal prompt is just how can

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Speaker 1: I show more compassion for this part of me? So

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Speaker 1: you know the example of not having the kids ready

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Speaker 1: and not being on time, it's like, well, it's just

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Speaker 1: not a reality where you're on time all the time

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Speaker 1: and everything's perfect. That's just not a reality. So can

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Speaker 1: you have more compassion for yourself and your children and

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Speaker 1: your husband during that? The next step I want you

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Speaker 1: to do is reframe and reclaim those parts of yourself

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Speaker 1: that you have rejected. Okay, well I'm not perfect. You

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Speaker 1: need to reclaim that and be like, I am whole

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Speaker 1: and worthy no matter what anyone thinks of me, and

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Speaker 1: I can have compassion for myself to not be perfect

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Speaker 1: all the time. And then the last thing I want

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Speaker 1: you to do is really think about ask what the

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Speaker 1: trigger is here to teach you? So in this situation,

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Speaker 1: what is it inviting you to heal or let go of?

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Speaker 1: And how can this experience become more aligned with your

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Speaker 1: authentic self? So with the instance of being late with

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Speaker 1: the kids, is it the fact that you don't show

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Speaker 1: any other side to your parents? You only show this

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Speaker 1: like polish, put together side, and that's you know, that's

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Speaker 1: not authentic and you really need to start showing them

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Speaker 1: the whole you. Or is it being single at a

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Speaker 1: certain age and not having kids at a certain age.

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Speaker 1: Do you hold shame about that? And is that something

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Speaker 1: that you need to clear and do you need to

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Speaker 1: step more into your authentic self where you're like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm not on anyone's timeline. I'm on my own timeline

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Speaker 1: and I love it and I'm proud of myself and

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Speaker 1: I'm whole and it's perfect for me and I don't

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Speaker 1: have to be like every other person. Do you need

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Speaker 1: to own that path of yourself? Is it that you

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Speaker 1: actually don't feel you know, successful in your business or

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Speaker 1: worthy in your business? Can you not see how that

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Speaker 1: would be a limiting belief that could be really blocking

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Speaker 1: you from like so much success. So what I want

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Speaker 1: you to do is like just really ask, like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: this trigger that I'm feeling in these circumstances, Yeah, like

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Speaker 1: what is it teaching me? Because so many times we

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Speaker 1: give away our power to other people. You know, we

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Speaker 1: go into victim and we're like, no, they're being rude

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Speaker 1: to me, they're being nasty, they're not on my boundaries,

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Speaker 1: and we really place our power outside of ourselves. But

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Speaker 1: do you see this process is when we bring it

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Speaker 1: back internally and we really be like, oh, okay, I'm

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Speaker 1: triggered as shit right now? What could this mean? How

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Speaker 1: could I use this to heal myself, to progress, to

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Speaker 1: move forward? How could I use this to step more

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Speaker 1: into my authentic self? Because when we are not owning

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Speaker 1: parts of ourselves, we are not out in our full power.

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Speaker 1: Like when we think there is parts of ourselves that

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Speaker 1: we should be ashamed of, that we should feel guiltful

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Speaker 1: that we haven't fully integrated, we are not our whole selves,

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Speaker 1: and we're not fully in our power. And honestly, guys,

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Speaker 1: when you are so solid in yourself and you have

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Speaker 1: completely owned yourself and all your imperfections, no one can

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Speaker 1: trigger you, no one can make you feel a certain

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Speaker 1: way because you're like, I know who I am and

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Speaker 1: I love all parts of myself, and just because it

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Speaker 1: doesn't reflect what everyone else is doing or what society

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Speaker 1: says I should do, I like this part of myself

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Speaker 1: and I love my life. And yes, I've got goals

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Speaker 1: and I've got things i want to change and I'm

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Speaker 1: moving towards things. But also I can both you know,

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Speaker 1: want to change things and move towards things and want

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Speaker 1: to progress, but also love who I am in this moment.

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Speaker 1: And I think that is so powerful. And that's something

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Speaker 1: that it takes, this awareness, it takes looking inside. So

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Speaker 1: when you are going through it a little bit over

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Speaker 1: this Christmas period and all the social events have some

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Speaker 1: detachment from the actual person, don't let them get under

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Speaker 1: your skin. Don't let them affect you and trigger you.

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Speaker 1: Use them to be like, oh awareness. I still have

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Speaker 1: wounds around worthiness in my business. I still have wounds

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Speaker 1: around perfectionism with my parents, I still have wounds around

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Speaker 1: owning myself completely in this season of being single. Do

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Speaker 1: you see what I mean? It's showing to you. It's

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Speaker 1: illuminating to these incredible parts of yourself that you need

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Speaker 1: to own, that you can take back the power. And

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Speaker 1: so really, we should be so thankful of these triggers,

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Speaker 1: of these people saying, you know, certain things making us

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Speaker 1: a bit uncomfortable, because it is a progression for you

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Speaker 1: and it's so exciting. So I hope this was helpful.

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Speaker 1: I hope it got you thinking in a bit of

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Speaker 1: a different way. I am sending you so much love

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Speaker 1: during this period. I know it can be tough for

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Speaker 1: a lot of people, but I hope this was helpful,

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Speaker 1: and I will put those journal prompts in the discip description.

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Speaker 1: Like I said, there is like a specific PEP talk

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Speaker 1: on protecting your energy in the Rise app. I will

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Speaker 1: link that below. Connect with us via Instagram, or continue

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Speaker 1: the conversation on our beautiful Facebook community page. All the

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Speaker 1: details are in the show notes. Thank you guys for

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Speaker 1: listening so much. I hope you guys have an amazing

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Speaker 1: Christmas and New Year's Bye.