Speaker 1: Two times I had to merge across. Do you know
Speaker 1: who was in front of me?
Speaker 2: Oh not to langemrds lange mates, Okay, carry on.
Speaker 1: In front of me with a glorious sight a dad
Speaker 1: on an electric bike, no shirt on, gut hanging out,
Speaker 1: going down Oxford Street. Nice.
Speaker 2: I know where he was going, and I was trying
Speaker 2: to get out of the way.
Speaker 1: Cars just wouldn't let me pass.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't let me in, so you were stuck behind.
Speaker 1: I was stuck. Not the worst thing to be stuck behind.
Speaker 2: Sydney drivers are really ah.
Speaker 1: Drove past, look to my left. I was like, ash,
Speaker 1: welcome back to two going dads, Maddy.
Speaker 2: J and just then yeah, sorry, I wasn't expecting you
Speaker 2: to be so welcome back.
Speaker 1: Scared, I was like, put your shoes on you like.
Speaker 2: I did that. I was like, she stood up in
Speaker 2: her bed and I.
Speaker 1: Was like, this is the podcast all about parenting. It
Speaker 1: is the good. It is also the bad and the relatable.
Speaker 1: Thank you. If you've come for advice, don't do it.
Speaker 1: Don't It's like going to a Chinese shop and then
Speaker 1: asking for pizza. You're not going to get it.
Speaker 2: Chinese shop, Chinese restaurant, restaurant. What about those like takeaway
Speaker 2: shops to do it all?
Speaker 1: They do.
Speaker 2: They're like Chinese pizza kebabs. We have one down the
Speaker 2: road from us, Yeah, in Bondi, in Bronchi.
Speaker 1: In Bronti allowed it over there. But they do Brazilian Brazilian.
Speaker 1: They do Italian pizza pasta. They also do like pokey
Speaker 1: bowls as well. They you can get like schnitty, you
Speaker 1: can get smell the food poisoning. And one time I
Speaker 1: was so desperate it was the only place that delivering.
Speaker 1: I think it was a rainy day and the other
Speaker 1: the only ones open. It's like a Christmas Day. And
Speaker 1: they also like the unbelievable kids fish and chips as well.
Speaker 1: Beautiful the sponsor bellow down a Bronte, delicious, lovely. Happy
Speaker 1: Father's Day to me and to me, Happy Father's Day
Speaker 1: to you as well. One of the best dads I've
Speaker 1: ever come across, if not the best dad. Can I
Speaker 1: just say you're talking about yourself again. You have done
Speaker 1: such a great job raising two incredible children, and you
Speaker 1: should be so proud.
Speaker 2: Now I feel bad for not giving you a decent enough.
Speaker 1: Now That's fine, man. If you want to like shit
Speaker 1: on me. You are a doting dad. One of the
Speaker 1: dosingests right back at you. I'm not good compliments. How
Speaker 1: did you celebrate? How sounds great? Sounds like what a day?
Speaker 1: It was a nice day. It was hot, hot day. Look,
Speaker 1: it was just a general run of the middle day.
Speaker 2: It was good for the kids to be like, happy fasday.
Speaker 2: Little couple of little gifts and nothing too crazy.
Speaker 1: Couple of daycare gifts. Would you get?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I got the mug standards beautiful. I got the
Speaker 2: shitty artwork standard, which I told them my cherish forever.
Speaker 2: But now I don't know where it is. And I
Speaker 2: got some seeds, excuse me, seed links.
Speaker 1: It's like a little pot. What kind of plant was it?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just put it somewhere from him.
Speaker 1: Have you planted it?
Speaker 2: He knows. I never do any gardening, but we can't
Speaker 2: because we're living with Frank, my father in law.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Frank, lovely man. Shut up. No, he
Speaker 1: is love it.
Speaker 2: But Bob, his partner is a real green thumb.
Speaker 1: So you gave you heard he was like he But
Speaker 1: other than that, No, what about you? How did you celebrate?
Speaker 1: I've got a couple of gifts from the kids. Both
Speaker 1: Marley and Lola gave me the exact same gift from daycare,
Speaker 1: which was barbecue seasoning like a barbecue like like a
Speaker 1: Cajun seasoning. Like. It was exact same from both. So
Speaker 1: I opened lollles and she was like, closu your eyes, Daddy.
Speaker 1: This is while I'm still in bed, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's barbecue seasoning, which is great. And then Marley was
Speaker 1: just as pumped and like, that's my turn. And then
Speaker 1: I was like, I remember thinking as well I felt it.
Speaker 1: I was like, it's just quite similar, same seasoning. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So daycare. Not to criticize, because I'm very appreciative of
Speaker 1: what you've given the kids to give me, but mix it.
Speaker 2: Up options clerical error. Think of all the days that
Speaker 2: only got one sashe of barbecue. Yeah, it sucks to you.
Speaker 1: But then I was pretty keen to go to the calf.
Speaker 1: I saw you got breakfast in bed, how did you well,
Speaker 1: I wanted to go to the calf. I wasn't really
Speaker 1: that keen on cafe calf. Hang on, is that what
Speaker 1: you call it? Or is that what you think it's called.
Speaker 1: It's called the calf. It's called a calf. It's a cafe, yeah,
Speaker 1: old calf. What do you want to call it? Cafe calf? Sure,
Speaker 1: let's not hung up on the minor details. Marlie was
Speaker 1: really excited. She had it fixated into her little brain
Speaker 1: that she wanted to make me breakfast in bed's sweat.
Speaker 1: She had one of our cheese boards that she had boards,
Speaker 1: thank you. She had decorated it with some leaves and
Speaker 1: some bark and other ornaments from the garden native they were,
Speaker 1: I think they were native. A few succulent leaves as well.
Speaker 1: Laura was like, don't touch my plants. And I in
Speaker 1: the morning, I said, I want to go to to
Speaker 1: go out of my breakfast and Marley was like, no
Speaker 1: breakfast in bed. I was like, well, it's my father's date.
Speaker 1: It's my decision. She was like, should get back to
Speaker 1: bed and right now. She wouldn't allow me to go
Speaker 1: get breakfast sales, but I had to wait there. She
Speaker 1: made me breakfast in bed. Finally came upstairs, gave me
Speaker 1: the plate toast on it, delicious peanut butter. Love that,
Speaker 1: and then Laula was like, and then she ate the toast.
Speaker 1: You got nothing she gave me or she gave me
Speaker 1: a corner of crust that was like half warm from saliva. Oh,
Speaker 1: very kind of, very kind. And then I clean the house. Dude,
Speaker 1: that was it?
Speaker 2: What a That's just a dad day, just a normal
Speaker 2: dad is a classic dad day.
Speaker 1: Father's Day is the day to be more of a dad.
Speaker 2: So it's like, clean the house, what the bumps, get them, bath,
Speaker 2: get out of bed.
Speaker 1: Job done.
Speaker 2: So yeah, well, great, happy Father's Day and have a
Speaker 2: fast day to all the dads out there.
Speaker 1: We love you. Shut up? Can I be empathetic? Couldn't? Like?
Speaker 1: Can I be a lot sympathetic? Is that I don't even.
Speaker 2: Know the words, but having Father's Day to all the
Speaker 2: dad's out there, I have.
Speaker 1: To admit something to you, Ash, Yep, And look, it's
Speaker 1: not easy for me to be this honest with you
Speaker 1: on the podcast in front of our audience. Are they here,
Speaker 1: they're listening on. When you've talked about shooting yourself, my approach,
Speaker 1: my reaction to that, a knee jerk reaction, if you will,
Speaker 1: has always been like, how how does that happen? You've
Speaker 1: done it? Ash? Over the weekend there was an incident,
Speaker 1: do you know what? Weirdly, I wasn't hungover. It wasn't
Speaker 1: off the back of a really spicy meal. I was
Speaker 1: just doing a simple WI standing obviously standing, we enjoying
Speaker 1: the Wii. The whee was great, the we was flowing.
Speaker 1: Everyone was having a good time except midw My body
Speaker 1: was confused in that moment. Somehow my body thought that
Speaker 1: we were sitting down for a week and it was
Speaker 1: time to do a poop. And it just well like,
Speaker 1: as I was relaxing mid there's a moment I think,
Speaker 1: Midwi where you find a moment of inner piece and
Speaker 1: you shiver. You're like and I had to catch myself
Speaker 1: because my body was about to do a poop. I
Speaker 1: was like, body, what are you doing? We're standing up.
Speaker 3: Body was like, WHOA, my bad. I read the did
Speaker 3: that scene completely wrong? Okay, We're back to work, back
Speaker 3: to the office. My day was was going to continue. Yeah,
Speaker 3: And then I thought I felt something. I went went
Speaker 3: back to the bathroom. I inspected we had a bit
Speaker 3: of leakage.
Speaker 1: Nugget. No, I wouldn't say nugget. I'd say a.
Speaker 2: Kiss like a Hershey's kiss.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a Hershey's kiss, but it was it
Speaker 1: like it was a it was a good kiss. It
Speaker 1: was a bit of tongue. Oh, and my favorite undies
Speaker 1: as well. But then the hard thing was ash. Hard
Speaker 1: thing was I was one where I was debating. I
Speaker 1: don't know how you approach this, like do I wash
Speaker 1: the undies or do I just throw them out?
Speaker 2: I got a rinse and wash like it's not it's
Speaker 2: not like you murdered someone in them.
Speaker 1: I thought I would get rid of them.
Speaker 2: Okay, so gone. I thought you were white.
Speaker 1: You need to rethink that part of your wards. Now
Speaker 1: I'm at an age where white undies are no longer
Speaker 1: an option.
Speaker 2: I just think altogether, what undies should be abolished for men?
Speaker 2: Women increase them, men abolish them. I think it's offensive.
Speaker 1: So I wanted to get rid of the mash. And
Speaker 1: the problem was my mum was standing in the kitchen, yeah,
Speaker 1: and she was standing near the sorry, she was standing
Speaker 1: in the toilet in the kitchen. She was Mum was
Speaker 1: standing in the kitchen near the bin. And so I
Speaker 1: had to then like take the undies off, wrap them
Speaker 1: up nice and tight so they would fit in my hand.
Speaker 1: And I had to then like walk over to the
Speaker 1: bin and like in an unsuspicious manner, put the onundies
Speaker 1: in the bin. But there you did well. I also,
Speaker 1: mum's seventy two, so she's easy to fall. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: feel like I could come in with a unicorn.
Speaker 2: A mom would just be like, it would have been really,
Speaker 2: really funny if you're like, Mum, hold this for a seconds.
Speaker 1: Popped me in the hand, walked away, and then I
Speaker 1: looked in the mirror afterwards, I was just like, who
Speaker 1: am I? Welcome to the club? My friend. Once every
Speaker 1: few months I put.
Speaker 2: Myself and it's it's a good wake up call to
Speaker 2: remind you.
Speaker 1: It's like a reset that you're.
Speaker 2: Alive and you're here. I, for one, at the moment,
Speaker 2: would love to ship myself. I'm extremely constipated, and that's
Speaker 2: because of all of the codeine I have been taking
Speaker 2: from a sore tooth.
Speaker 1: What is the limit? What is the maximum length of
Speaker 1: time one person can continuously take coding? Well, forever, I
Speaker 1: guess I don't know. Here's the the thing.
Speaker 2: I went to the dentist, as we know, last week,
Speaker 2: and he gave me some codeine to band aid the paint.
Speaker 1: The dentist gave you coding, He gave me a script.
Speaker 1: Did they do that? Obviously? They are again.
Speaker 2: I went to well the chemist willingly gave me the
Speaker 2: from the doctor scripts.
Speaker 1: Hang on a second, this is from a dudess.
Speaker 2: And it said one at a time, and then the
Speaker 2: cameras said to me, you can take two at the time.
Speaker 1: It's fine, and I was like can.
Speaker 2: The amount of coding they gave me was for to
Speaker 2: band aid up until the extraction. I went through it
Speaker 2: in about three days because I was.
Speaker 1: In that much pain. Yeah, you were, you called me
Speaker 1: wailing on the phone.
Speaker 2: And now I have an addiction to prescription painkillers.
Speaker 1: No, but I was like, oh god.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna need some more. And I was like, you
Speaker 2: know what, I'm going to try and get this tooth
Speaker 2: out earlier rang them up and they had a cancelation.
Speaker 1: I just love. I love that the only people who
Speaker 1: can help you were those who have been beaten down
Speaker 1: by ash Wicks for such a long period since they
Speaker 1: started this podcast, and they've been coppy and shot after
Speaker 1: shot after shot from you, and now now you're on
Speaker 1: your hands and he's begging. It's a credit to their
Speaker 1: public service.
Speaker 2: They could easily just be like, no, this guy obviously
Speaker 2: doesn't know about that, so foolger.
Speaker 1: Now I'm like, you listen to our podcast. Yeah. He's like,
Speaker 1: what do you do? And You're like, oh, we have
Speaker 1: a podcast. It's all about how great dentists are.
Speaker 2: What was the problem with your tooth? It was a
Speaker 2: I don't know, it just hurt a lot. It's an
Speaker 2: old feeling tooth that was.
Speaker 1: Heard a lot.
Speaker 2: It was dead dying, No, it was it was irritating
Speaker 2: the nerves underneath it.
Speaker 1: Right, So the options are roots. Options were root canal
Speaker 1: too expensive.
Speaker 2: He sat me down, he turned the lights off, he
Speaker 2: turned the lamp on my face.
Speaker 1: He said, how badly do you want to keep this tooth?
Speaker 2: I said, I'm not that attached to it, to be
Speaker 2: completely honest. It's attached to my head, but I'm not
Speaker 2: that attached to it emotionally. So let's remove it. But
Speaker 2: because I'm such a scady cat, I was like, can
Speaker 2: we somehow knock me out? He's like, no, may, It's
Speaker 2: going to cost you like three or four times, way more.
Speaker 1: Than that would be such a scaty cat. Let's just
Speaker 1: rip it.
Speaker 2: Out of your head. So you go in take these
Speaker 2: three sleeping tablets. I don't know if this is legal.
Speaker 2: I don't know whether these dancers is really shifting garage,
Speaker 2: I mean his basement.
Speaker 1: I'm tired up. I was coming out. I got no
Speaker 1: pants on them. It's necessary and yeah, I think like.
Speaker 2: It's like doesn't put you to sleep, but it makes
Speaker 2: you git out of it.
Speaker 1: I was pretty out of it.
Speaker 2: I was really enjoying it, and I actually fell asleep.
Speaker 1: Let the lead up, and then they woke me out.
Speaker 2: I was like, anyway, so they had to take the
Speaker 2: tooth out because it was like, unless they were to
Speaker 2: do the root canal, I'll try and save the tooth.
Speaker 2: Its best to rip it out. Now I'm going to
Speaker 2: be holding my head.
Speaker 1: May I ask you just really quickly, did you get
Speaker 1: any second opinion from April in regards to saving the
Speaker 1: tooth or losing the tooth?
Speaker 2: Nah? She said get it out. She wanted to get
Speaker 2: me complaining. She was honestly so over it. She was
Speaker 2: at the point where I like, on my tooth's like oh,
Speaker 2: she was like no, actually that's right. I was in
Speaker 2: bed and I was like, oh god, I can't get
Speaker 2: up my mouth. She's just like, you can't decide when
Speaker 2: it's too sore to get out of bed, when it's
Speaker 2: too sort not to get out of it.
Speaker 1: So get out of it. And I was like okay, So.
Speaker 2: Managed to squeeze in on the Monday, which is two
Speaker 2: days ago, and I do have a present for you.
Speaker 1: Please are you ready? Oh?
Speaker 2: It's so big it is my tooth.
Speaker 1: I want to put it as a necklace. I was
Speaker 1: thinking that might need to clean it first, probably.
Speaker 2: It's so long. It's that long tooth. Anyway, there's a
Speaker 2: hole in my head now.
Speaker 1: So long. Dude, Hang on a second. There's a big
Speaker 1: black mark in there, isn't there. What's your professional opinion
Speaker 1: what that fucking guy is? Yeah? Pretty bad? What's the
Speaker 1: black stuff mean?
Speaker 2: There's a little bit of good in all of us?
Speaker 1: Yeah? So do you want to keep it? I don't
Speaker 1: want to take you too. No, it's yours, just to keep.
Speaker 1: You'll never ever forget me. Thank you, You never forget.
Speaker 2: Whenever you're facing yourself with a hard decision, look to
Speaker 2: the tooth. Hold the tooth, hold it, look to it
Speaker 2: and go what's the right move here?
Speaker 1: And the tooth will tell you. Well, look who it is.
Speaker 1: Look who came barging? You had one job. Don't come
Speaker 1: in and you've come in? What do you forget? Are
Speaker 1: the keys.
Speaker 2: Hey, April, do you love me any less now that
Speaker 2: I'm less of a man because I'm missing a tooth?
Speaker 1: That's what you told me last night. Hi April? Are
Speaker 1: you going? Where are you going? By the way, You're
Speaker 1: going to Egypt? Very good? Is some of your best ways?
Speaker 2: Is that right? Is that geographically correct? For those of
Speaker 2: you wonder out of the Cairo and said to Egypt,
Speaker 2: that's what living with me is like.
Speaker 1: She's not coming back. Can you just open your can
Speaker 1: I see? I see? Yeah, we'll get a close up
Speaker 1: of it. So what's the recovery like right now? Yes,
Speaker 1: that was a bit. They stitch it up because no,
Speaker 1: it's just it's it's a vacant hole. I'm listening. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So they leave it as is for now.
Speaker 2: I've had a few messages from people that are also
Speaker 2: had theirs out, also criticizing my lack of being able
Speaker 2: to stay strong against dentists.
Speaker 1: Can I tell you a story just really quickly, go
Speaker 1: really quickly. This is in the UK. I lived in
Speaker 1: London and told us for thirty second. Just for those
Speaker 1: people who are new to the podcast, I lived in
Speaker 1: London for four years. You haven't been listening for the
Speaker 1: last fifteen minutes.
Speaker 2: And man hasn't told you lived in London for a
Speaker 2: four months lived.
Speaker 1: It's a great city. I recommend it. If you couldn't
Speaker 1: call it living for four years, sure, that's that's living.
Speaker 1: I had a passport, that's living. Had a passport, Yeah,
Speaker 1: just an accent. I fucking I was. I was in London. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and my fucking mate was okay. There was a friend
Speaker 1: of ours was a dentist, and you know, as I
Speaker 1: was still as a dentist, I think I won't say
Speaker 1: your name Charlotte. It's not Charlotte. And you know, we're
Speaker 1: talking about what life is like as a dentist. And
Speaker 1: I said, you know, have you ever made a mistake
Speaker 1: and she goes, oh, yeah, absolutely. One time she was
Speaker 1: extracting a tooth and then she extracted the tooth, looked
Speaker 1: at the X ray and went, oh shit, took the
Speaker 1: wrong tooth out, wrong side. I was like, I got
Speaker 1: to take the right tooth out. That person woke up
Speaker 1: and they said, look, good news, bad news, bad news.
Speaker 1: We found another tooth that also needed to come out.
Speaker 1: The good news is that we took it out. Didn't
Speaker 1: charge you anything extra because you were under you're welcome,
Speaker 1: and the patient was like, thank you so much. That's
Speaker 1: so kind of you.
Speaker 2: That's why they marked the leg in surgeries, because like
Speaker 2: we've got to remove a leg. There's one with gangering,
Speaker 2: one without gangering. I think the one with gangering needs
Speaker 2: to be good movie, just in case.
Speaker 1: They've put a cross on this one, so not this one.
Speaker 1: It's lucky that you got the right tooth out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he didn't wake up when you also that ash. The
Speaker 1: good news is.
Speaker 2: We've got no but I can see the mistake there
Speaker 2: because the sea through and I mean, all those years
Speaker 2: of training.
Speaker 1: I love how all of a sudden you're the dentist sympathizer.
Speaker 1: Who would have thought we'd be here? I got a
Speaker 1: clean while I was there. They asold me, what do
Speaker 1: you think you're doing? WHOA? Hang on, buddy, we're good friends.
Speaker 1: Remember it's nerf for nothing. I don't know what you mean.
Speaker 1: You have an interesting look in your eye. Do you
Speaker 1: know what this is? Yeah, of course I know what
Speaker 1: that is. It's it's nerve.
Speaker 2: It's not any old nerve, Matthew.
Speaker 1: It's the end series. What's the end series?
Speaker 2: It's extreme, it's got extreme accuracy, speed and distance. This
Speaker 2: one in particular is actually called a pinpoint large scope.
Speaker 1: It's the world like it and it's got a ten
Speaker 1: dark cartridge. See that can just relax please when we're
Speaker 1: doing a podcast, you can relax when you sleep. Speaking
Speaker 1: of nerf actually, who do you think would win a
Speaker 1: battle between the Johnson's or the Wicks, Look, any team
Speaker 1: that lolls in. I'm worried. I'm scared.
Speaker 2: She's a renegade, she's an animal, she's untrustworthy, and she's
Speaker 2: so good at gas lighting Pip. She would drag you
Speaker 2: in with a false sense of security and then bang.
Speaker 1: She's actually got a very good aim on her as well.
Speaker 1: Her hand eye coordination is impeccable. Mike is not so
Speaker 1: much Oscar. Yes, I reckon he would do all right.
Speaker 2: He's small, slender, so he'd be able to hide Macy clumsy.
Speaker 1: No, it's not Macy. I'm worried about.
Speaker 2: It's April April with an ND series lethless parenting hack.
Speaker 2: I also find the nerf End series very helpful around
Speaker 2: the house.
Speaker 1: What do you mean, Well, when I run.
Speaker 2: A bath and the kids don't get in it, I
Speaker 2: come after him with a NERF.
Speaker 1: They get in pretty quick. That is very clever. It's
Speaker 1: really sad to watch Mazie run from me. She waddles.
Speaker 1: Enjoy next level play with the all new Nerve N series,
Speaker 1: perfect for active fun. So grab your kids and get
Speaker 1: out doors for action packed excitement with Nerve, available now
Speaker 1: from all leading retailers.
Speaker 2: And matt Before we get back to the show, well.
Speaker 1: I think we should probably ash if you ash hush
Speaker 1: as men. As dads, we're very lucky, Ash, We're very
Speaker 1: lucky in that we're the first generation of dads. Actually,
Speaker 1: people got very angry when I was like, we're the
Speaker 1: first generation of hands on parents on mass Do you
Speaker 1: know who got angry without the people that weren't hands on. Well,
Speaker 1: there was one dad who was like, oh, it was
Speaker 1: hands on with my kids. I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: know about like my dad was hands on. I sweats like,
Speaker 1: no he wasn't. So we can go to any kind
Speaker 1: of environment out of the house, like going grocery shopping
Speaker 1: with the kids. Other parents look at us emails and
Speaker 1: they're like, wow, I know the bar's really like boomer
Speaker 1: mums for example, boom mums look at us and we
Speaker 1: don't deserve it, but they look at us, and they think, gosh, like,
Speaker 1: what an amazing dad. When we're doing the bare minimum.
Speaker 1: I take it. Well, I'll take it any day of
Speaker 1: the week.
Speaker 2: Little they know, I'm shotting for a boys trip.
Speaker 1: I have found a location where the praise is almost
Speaker 1: too much. I'm listening. So, I don't know if you've
Speaker 1: ever taken Macy to get her nails done. No, not yet, dude.
Speaker 1: I think she's young. She's too young. I've seen you do.
Speaker 1: I thought about it, so I do it to the girls.
Speaker 1: It's like seven bucks, her kid, get nails done and
Speaker 1: sit still. Now they do the first few. The poor
Speaker 1: poor guy was like, all right, here we go, last nail,
Speaker 1: and then Lola would go yeah, move her hands and
Speaker 1: go fuck startle everyone. Well there for hours. But I'm
Speaker 1: telling you, if you feel like maybe there's a day
Speaker 1: that you're struggling as a parent, you're not doing enough,
Speaker 1: just take your child, go to the nail salon and
Speaker 1: just the looks of the other women in that nail
Speaker 1: salon as you're there with your child picking out colors.
Speaker 1: It's restless. It is unfucking believable. Yeah, yeah, I'm going
Speaker 1: to I'm.
Speaker 2: Going to go into bat for you here say that
Speaker 2: that's a very modern man thing for you to do.
Speaker 1: Like, that's I don't I've never like I always did.
Speaker 1: I sit there. I sit there and I get ten
Speaker 1: minutes a piece and quiet whilst my girls get their nailstone.
Speaker 1: It's great. So it's like that's top tier dadding, I
Speaker 1: think because i've it's you think how you're going to
Speaker 1: an al salon, like what a good dad? You know,
Speaker 1: what a great guy's outstanding? Ye're not afraid to do
Speaker 1: anything that's s like you know not, you know.
Speaker 2: Because you get yours done every now and then, don't you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't get it done.
Speaker 2: Should we take all four kids because Oscar would be
Speaker 2: super keen?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you love it?
Speaker 2: All four kids, two dads. If there's a nail salon
Speaker 2: out there that would love.
Speaker 1: Us to come and do it, im key for that.
Speaker 1: Bring bring the family our feet done. I love that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: What about those little fish that eat your feet? That's
Speaker 1: scamping scam. Yeah. So just any any dads out there
Speaker 1: who are listening and just prepare yourself the absolute onslaught
Speaker 1: of praise. Like mum, another mum was getting a nails
Speaker 1: done and she's like, I just think that's so lovely
Speaker 1: that you're taking your girls here. And I was like,
Speaker 1: it's no big deal, nob, I'm just doing what I can.
Speaker 1: My my wife's interstate at the moment, so she but
Speaker 1: that's fine.
Speaker 2: She's just trying to put food on the table. But
Speaker 2: she's also absent.
Speaker 1: Yeah, someone's got to take them out out right. You know.
Speaker 2: It's like, it's not me than who I'm going to
Speaker 2: try it. I think we should try it, and we
Speaker 2: should all do it together.
Speaker 1: Two gay dads, we're not doing Those ladies from the
Speaker 1: bookstore are like they walk past and they are again,
Speaker 1: they're lovely. There's two gay dads. They've got four kids
Speaker 1: between the Oh my goodness, Yeah, it's two broken marriages.
Speaker 1: Mums were absent. Ash. We spoke last week about the
Speaker 1: new kind of kind of calling it a segment. It's
Speaker 1: called parenting hack of fuck that. It's where we look
Speaker 1: at a video that's been posted on social media. They're
Speaker 1: a parent who are suggesting they have an idea, a concept,
Speaker 1: a way of making parenting groundbreaking, making parenting better or easier.
Speaker 2: And look, honestly, we do come across videos out there
Speaker 2: that the hack is groundbreaking.
Speaker 1: I had one where I don't know if your kids
Speaker 1: use it. The little beads that they put on, they
Speaker 1: place the bead on your shape and your iron the
Speaker 1: beads and they then make a shape. But they fucking
Speaker 1: go on the floor all the time. But if you
Speaker 1: put a sock in the that was good, and then
Speaker 1: you can you can suck up all the beads and
Speaker 1: they get stuck in the sock. Job done, parenting hack absolutely.
Speaker 1: Last week's fuck that was it parently suggested that you
Speaker 1: wake up your kids after they've gone to bed to
Speaker 1: get them a surprise.
Speaker 2: Moving anyway, they're already awake for the majority of the day.
Speaker 2: Have a movie date. So this week sounds great?
Speaker 1: This week, Ash, I've got a new video.
Speaker 2: Okay, cool, we'll show me. I feel like I bring
Speaker 2: nothing to the table. You're the one who's always got there.
Speaker 2: I promise next week.
Speaker 1: No, your rage last week was more than a night.
Speaker 2: Rage because I just think it's not fair on the child.
Speaker 2: I think that's selfish for your own gratitude. But then
Speaker 2: to be able to post a video about it like
Speaker 2: I'm such a great parent, You're a ship parent.
Speaker 1: Well sorry, well said, that's that's you're filling my cup.
Speaker 1: That's what I wanted to I'm filling your cup with what? Okay, Ash,
Speaker 1: do you think this is a parenting hack or fuck that? Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm loving this road trips.
Speaker 2: Am I going in the mindset of road trips?
Speaker 1: Got a big driver ahead of you asking your kids?
Speaker 1: Do you need to go the toilet? You don't. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's get in the car. Let's set off. Okay, we're off,
Speaker 1: We're driving. I'm watching No. Nope, no no, no, nope,
Speaker 1: no no, no, no, no no no. This is a product
Speaker 1: you can purchase online.
Speaker 2: Right, so let me just explain what I'm looking at here.
Speaker 2: It's a product that someone's purchased that unfolds, goes onto
Speaker 2: the four of the car.
Speaker 1: It's like a flat pack. Comes as a flat packed
Speaker 1: cardboard box. Yeah, it looks like there's a plastic liner.
Speaker 1: It opens up to a potty. So the kid sits
Speaker 1: on it.
Speaker 2: That kid's way too big for that partty first of all,
Speaker 2: and then they shit in it. You wrap it back
Speaker 2: up and then go on your day.
Speaker 1: And then what do you do? Dump it in and
Speaker 1: be Okay, what about Ash? Hear me out? Nighttime? Nighttime
Speaker 1: road trip. You're on the side of a cliff. Why
Speaker 1: would I be on the side of a cliff. I
Speaker 1: don't know where you're driving, brod maybe up in the mountains.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's snowing right, so it's it's hard to then
Speaker 1: do a bush wheel bush poo. So you need to
Speaker 1: do that business in a place that's quite close to
Speaker 1: the car. You want to shit next to the car?
Speaker 1: I think it's demeaning. What shitting next to a trees?
Speaker 2: Not?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's you're in nature. You're in nature.
Speaker 2: You go, you go am being really out in the
Speaker 2: sticks and that well, you dig a hole down river.
Speaker 1: But maybe not up river. Hey, what about I don't
Speaker 1: know how long your children take to poo? Mine take
Speaker 1: a little while? Do they a little while? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Oscaus PSI is unbelievable. Makes he still shits in nappies.
Speaker 2: But look, I would highly doubt you know how strange
Speaker 2: kids are. There's a bigger chance of my kids shit
Speaker 2: doing a bush poo then sitting on what looks to
Speaker 2: be a magician's hat.
Speaker 1: To take a shit.
Speaker 2: He'd be like, what is as if it's going to
Speaker 2: support his weight. He'd end up shitting and falling back
Speaker 2: into it. I think I think someone's tried to cash
Speaker 2: in and make some money on idiots.
Speaker 1: That's what I think about that. So it's not a hack.
Speaker 2: I think the hack is if your kid needs to shit,
Speaker 2: you pull over, find a bush the old fashioned way
Speaker 2: and go here.
Speaker 1: I'm watching.
Speaker 2: I'm here to protect you while she poo out here,
Speaker 2: and then I'll get the wipes, wipe it up. The
Speaker 2: shit's gone into the soil. Perhaps a tree grow.
Speaker 1: That's a hack. This is not a hack. This is
Speaker 1: I'm scared that, Mike. I'm trying to protect my kids.
Speaker 1: It's over complicating situation. I think.
Speaker 2: Also, it's way too pretty colored. It could be mistaken
Speaker 2: for one of those gifts bags. Next minute you're given
Speaker 2: a friend a bag of ship.
Speaker 1: Yeah you need to you need to have the shape
Speaker 1: and color like shit.
Speaker 2: It needs to be off putting. I think they're trying
Speaker 2: to cash in on something that's.
Speaker 1: Okay, well said, Well, so it's not a hack.
Speaker 2: It's a fuck that ye first, should we do no
Speaker 2: before we move on, I've got something really quick for you. Please,
Speaker 2: But I've got something i just want to bring up
Speaker 2: that I've just stumbled across Matthew Johnson, and I didn't
Speaker 2: know this you're very humble man, and you haven't brought
Speaker 2: this to my attention, nor has anybody brought this to
Speaker 2: my attention until I'm sitting across from you.
Speaker 1: A man via man, dad via dad. You've been nominated
Speaker 1: for an award. Yeah, it's weird. I didn't know that.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that I was a scam. I think
Speaker 1: you've been scam.
Speaker 2: So no, just to give some context of the listeners,
Speaker 2: matt has been as a finalist of the Boody.
Speaker 1: Awards whatever that is never heard of.
Speaker 2: It still an honor for a content creator, change maker
Speaker 2: of the year.
Speaker 1: So the weird thing is ash weird thing is like,
Speaker 1: I've not really done anything in the mental health space.
Speaker 2: But it's it's for children's mental health. For You've done
Speaker 2: some starlight.
Speaker 1: Stuff, didn't it. Yeah, but not enough to like you
Speaker 1: do more than what I do.
Speaker 2: You're up against some pretty heavy competition.
Speaker 1: I don't know how I got nominated, but it's a
Speaker 1: public vote. It's a public vote, so look listen.
Speaker 2: No, I mean we need to make sure that Matthew
Speaker 2: J and I will be plugging this.
Speaker 1: I'm honored to be nominated, but it's not required. It
Speaker 1: is required the award. The awards are in Brisbane. I'm
Speaker 1: not finding Brisbone for the awards. Bring the kids.
Speaker 2: We just start to go fund me for Matthew. I'm
Speaker 2: both impressed and proud of you.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 2: So if you want to go and vote for matt
Speaker 2: you can at Boardy Awards their Instagram. I'm going to
Speaker 2: put it on my story. Thank you and every day
Speaker 2: very kind of it's announced. I appreciate now.
Speaker 1: I don't do this for the recognition, ash, So let's
Speaker 1: go to We're going to do lies. We've got some
Speaker 1: cracking lies today, so let's get into it.
Speaker 2: Tell me loud. Tell this one's from Tilly. Hey Tilly,
Speaker 2: it's going to get dark real quick, so I would
Speaker 2: just maybe remove.
Speaker 1: The enthusiasm out of your voice.
Speaker 2: We can get it back afterwards once we've recovered. My
Speaker 2: older sister told me my mother was on a business trip.
Speaker 2: When I was old enough to notice other kids had
Speaker 2: mum and a dad.
Speaker 1: I think I was four or five. Bear with me.
Speaker 2: My dad allowed me to believe this rather than explain
Speaker 2: the concept of death.
Speaker 1: My mum was dead. I know that is bad parenting.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, is like proper. That's a lot Dard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that is. That is one hell of a light. Also
Speaker 1: just the best case example of boomer parenting. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: just run with it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she said, I'm not mad about it.
Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't have understood the truth anyway. So like
Speaker 1: she's obviously still very close with her dad. Taking that
Speaker 1: very well. First of all, sorry about your mum, very sorry.
Speaker 1: Second of all, it's kind of sad. Jesus Christ. At
Speaker 1: what point do you then do then say, sorry, she's
Speaker 1: not on that sales conference, She's dead. It's kidding, Like,
Speaker 1: how do you how long was the sales conference? How
Speaker 1: she's been on that conference for years? Yeah? I know,
Speaker 1: when do you?
Speaker 2: I suppose like when you're in an age to understand
Speaker 2: you would just but.
Speaker 1: There's always going to be that period where you're like
Speaker 1: six or seven and you're still running with the conference
Speaker 1: business trip line. Yeah, oh god, just beyond my mine.
Speaker 1: God's say. This one is from Courtney.
Speaker 2: Hello, Courtney, Hello Courtney Morbid.
Speaker 1: I lived in London for four years. That's very good.
Speaker 1: Close my eyes. It felt like I was right back
Speaker 1: on Oxford Street. I tell you in London, Courtney the
Speaker 1: lie I told my four year old last week we
Speaker 1: were at Costco having pizza in the food court Delicious
Speaker 1: and ash an alarm went off in the store. My
Speaker 1: son then asked why it was going off. I told
Speaker 1: him it goes off when kids are being naughty and
Speaker 1: don't listen or eat their food. I then watched a
Speaker 1: parent leaving the store with their child and pointed to
Speaker 1: them and said to my son, see that kid must
Speaker 1: have been naughty. They're been taken out of the shop.
Speaker 1: Let's say it worked. He ate his dinner a bit
Speaker 1: quieter than usual.
Speaker 2: I love a perfectly timed why, especially when there's someone
Speaker 2: and you're like, see.
Speaker 1: That's him and he's crying.
Speaker 2: You're like, perfect, relie that it's I could easily be
Speaker 2: the truth because it was in this instant. Before we
Speaker 2: move on, I've got one that I've been using as
Speaker 2: I've had my tooth out. Now, I've been using my
Speaker 2: tooth with Oscar forget him to brush his teeth properly,
Speaker 2: because he's not. It's not the act of him put
Speaker 2: getting the toothbrush to his mouth.
Speaker 1: He just sucks on it. Oh, it's so annoying. They
Speaker 1: go finished and you go you can't just eat the
Speaker 1: tooth properly. Do it properly?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he's on adult toothpaste now because this happened
Speaker 2: when he got the crown.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the kid's stuff wasn't strong enough. No, it's too tasty.
Speaker 1: What was the first few times of him having like
Speaker 1: a full strength mint to clips?
Speaker 2: There was one stage where he had the toothbrush up
Speaker 2: to his mouth.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it. It's not that bad.
Speaker 2: So I've been like, I've had a two thousand, So
Speaker 2: every time now I'm like, do you want to look
Speaker 2: like this?
Speaker 1: And this follows with him that's not this is what
Speaker 1: you want. Hold it up, grabbed him by the collar
Speaker 1: and like, this could.
Speaker 2: Be you get him out of my size.
Speaker 1: It's not really a lie. It's kind of the truth.
Speaker 1: That's how it happened to me.
Speaker 2: But it's it's working, and Macy's just equally as terrified.
Speaker 1: So that's my lie for the week. Perfectly time lies.
Speaker 1: Perfectly time lies. Yeah, and we have some questions. We do.
Speaker 1: We have a couple quick questions. Do you have some questions?
Speaker 1: This one is from me and she says, I'm returning
Speaker 1: to work after having my first child and he will
Speaker 1: soon attend daycare. I feel like I know exactly what
Speaker 1: your answer will be ash, but she wants to know
Speaker 1: if it's okay to dress her child in daycare clothes
Speaker 1: the night before to save morning time the following day.
Speaker 1: Like you kind of want to what was that noise?
Speaker 2: You kind of want to give them, like you kind
Speaker 2: of want to give parents like that as like you
Speaker 2: just I'm always like just doing your best. I think
Speaker 2: it's okay if it's pajama week, pajama day, whatever, because
Speaker 2: that's just like the best week of the year, because
Speaker 2: it's like after school the.
Speaker 1: Rule books out the window.
Speaker 2: But I get Look, I get it. If you every
Speaker 2: kid's different. If it's like I always argue with Oskar
Speaker 2: in the morning's like get dress and he's too busy
Speaker 2: doing something else. But if they're dressed before, But also
Speaker 2: they could smell like sleep, you know what, their kids
Speaker 2: develop a complex?
Speaker 1: How old? Well, what does sleep smell? Do you know
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about? Sleep stinks?
Speaker 2: It's just like this artistic am I.
Speaker 1: Are you smelling sleep? Smells? Like? What this smells like sleep?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I can't. That's that's the only description
Speaker 1: I could give you. People know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 1: Do they out? Let's find out if you know what
Speaker 1: sleep smells like. Let us know it's I've never smelled sleep.
Speaker 2: I'll smell yourself, my friend, because you stink. It also
Speaker 2: depends how old the kid is.
Speaker 1: I must be a year old. This kid still a baby,
Speaker 1: still be bear, So okay, there is. It goes against
Speaker 1: the groin. It goes against what we've been taught. Okay,
Speaker 1: you go to bed, you wear pajamas, you wake up,
Speaker 1: you were your daytime clothes. I do have a friend.
Speaker 1: Their child used to be really tricky in the morning
Speaker 1: to get dressed. They then used to pick out the
Speaker 1: clothes the night before and put them to the side,
Speaker 1: so in the morning, they're like, the clothes are right there,
Speaker 1: will get dressed over time. He would then get so
Speaker 1: excited because he pick out his clothes at nighttime, he'd
Speaker 1: want to start wearing them right He Now he goes
Speaker 1: to bed wearing the clothes for the following day. He
Speaker 1: also wears socks and shoes to bed, and she tries
Speaker 1: to when he's asleep. She tries to take the shoes
Speaker 1: off them, and he's like, I got ja, what do
Speaker 1: you think you do?
Speaker 2: I got a backflip play on. I think like I
Speaker 2: was being a bit harsh. I think do your best,
Speaker 2: that's it. I don't want parents to feel like I'm
Speaker 2: judging them on that or making them feel bad. So
Speaker 2: I would say, if it helps you play on, do it,
Speaker 2: do it. Do it feels natural?
Speaker 1: What's your question?
Speaker 2: My question comes off the back of something I heard.
Speaker 2: It was a question that we did get asked by
Speaker 2: an anonymous There's a particular radio station in the mornings
Speaker 2: here sometimes they do afternoon shifts.
Speaker 1: Fitting Whipper and Kate Richie Wople were talking about people.
Speaker 2: Was talking about the city of the Surf, which we did,
Speaker 2: which we did, and he was talking about his kids
Speaker 2: were saying, Hey, can we run on ahead? And he
Speaker 2: was like, yeah, fine, go ahead, And his wife said.
Speaker 1: Are you an idiots?
Speaker 2: And there's this ninety thousand people here and he's like,
Speaker 2: the joke's on you.
Speaker 1: I've air tagged kids.
Speaker 2: So then we also had a question to come is
Speaker 2: it okay to track your kids?
Speaker 1: I'm really torn by this one. I'm really torn ash
Speaker 1: whether it's against their will or their knowledge or not.
Speaker 1: I think I think there's no harm. There's no harm
Speaker 1: in letting the kids know that they've got a track
Speaker 1: to say, track tracks hunting. Is it okay to.
Speaker 2: Track and hunt your children?
Speaker 1: Yeah, on a deserted island, I think. Imagine this. Imagine
Speaker 1: at the shopping center you lose oscar, right, you cannot
Speaker 1: find it. Imagine if you thought to yourself, like, if
Speaker 1: only I had put a little tracker in his shoe,
Speaker 1: you know, if someone has taken him, we could find
Speaker 1: him right now. Very true. And you know, for the
Speaker 1: sake of like wanting to have consent from your five
Speaker 1: year old kid, because I think morally there's that question
Speaker 1: of like do I need them to consent to being
Speaker 1: tracked or not? I think when they're four or five
Speaker 1: you don't need that level of consent because they don't
Speaker 1: know any guess they're not old enough to consent.
Speaker 2: That was like, yeah, okay, because it's going to think
Speaker 2: it's cool they have magic shoes.
Speaker 1: You're like, have magic shoes that allow mom and dad
Speaker 1: to find out where you are?
Speaker 2: Will that make them wander off more? Though they know
Speaker 2: they'd be like, well, mum can track me. I don't
Speaker 2: think we are equipped to give the correct answer. First
Speaker 2: of all, I.
Speaker 1: Think you can track them up to twelve, Okay, up
Speaker 1: until twelve. They're trackable without consent. I know it's a
Speaker 1: scary one to think.
Speaker 2: I think, if I'm going to track my kids, I'm
Speaker 2: going to have the conversation with mum as well, right,
Speaker 2: I think.
Speaker 1: But there's no there's no malice intent with wanting to
Speaker 1: track your kids. And that's why I think it's okay
Speaker 1: if your kid is like fourteen or fifteen and you're like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, you're trying to let them live. Let
Speaker 1: them live their lives. They're going to make the mistakes again. Yeah, anyway,
Speaker 1: but obviously you cannot track other adults. I know who
Speaker 1: you are.
Speaker 2: It's all a bit ecky for me.
Speaker 1: I'm just going to say it.
Speaker 2: I think for the safety wise, like you said, okay,
Speaker 2: I see that, But at the same time, it's just
Speaker 2: something about it gives me the yick.
Speaker 1: Yes, I can appreciate that. Yeah, but I'm going to
Speaker 1: get some apple tag. I'm not going to sit here
Speaker 1: and say what we did was wrong. I think micro chipping,
Speaker 1: we're not there yet. What he did wasn't wrong.
Speaker 2: I think what was wrong about what he did is
Speaker 2: that his wife didn't know.
Speaker 1: She may have loved that he was being proactive.
Speaker 2: Maybe I don't know what their relationships.
Speaker 1: Like, but I just think that if.
Speaker 2: You're going to be if we talk about parenting, trying
Speaker 2: to be a united front. If I'm turning around, if
Speaker 2: my wife's turned around to me saying, are you a
Speaker 2: fucking idiot?
Speaker 1: You're going to lose the kids you like? Jokes on you?
Speaker 1: They're air tagged perfect. That's my answer. I want to
Speaker 1: brand my children back in the old days. You'd be like,
Speaker 1: please return to I don't hate the idea, but I
Speaker 1: do agree. I'd probably have to flag it with Laura,
Speaker 1: who knows as well.
Speaker 2: Who can tap into that tracking device? That's another thing.
Speaker 2: If you can with payWave now you can walk past
Speaker 2: someone and they can take your card. Maybe if they
Speaker 2: can pick up an air tag, that that kid's air tag,
Speaker 2: let's fucking follow him home.
Speaker 1: Cars, you're another question? Is the world flat or round?
Speaker 1: Are you?
Speaker 2: I'm not a conspiracist, are you? No?
Speaker 1: I'm just saying people are tracking. Did man land on
Speaker 1: the moon? That's the next question.
Speaker 2: Please don't belittle my opinions.
Speaker 1: I think it'd be sad.
Speaker 2: I appreciated this to any serious, any serious answers to
Speaker 2: anything moving forward?
Speaker 1: Is that what you wanted from this? I appreciate it,
Speaker 1: and if you have appreciated this episode, please subscribe, don't
Speaker 1: view exit music. I need to get out of this
Speaker 1: house Ashes wearing an Alfoyle hat right now because because
Speaker 1: they're all listening, and send it to anyone else who
Speaker 1: think we'll enjoy listening to us talking about tagging kids
Speaker 1: and also any questions, any lies pay tag wild Life
Speaker 1: for research. Okay, I'm just saying, maybe you shouldn't tag
Speaker 1: your kids, but what you should do is buy them
Speaker 1: what people are calling the best book ever written for kids.
Speaker 1: Two Doting Dads the question three times. I think it's Amazon.
Speaker 1: It's like twelve bucks. Also twelve bucks maybe online best
Speaker 1: place we've written a book that I'm sure you've heard
Speaker 1: us talk about many times. It's one that the kids
Speaker 1: will like and hopefully the adults will also enjoy as well. Agreed,
Speaker 1: it's not a book about two go dads. That's our
Speaker 1: next adults only. We're going to get out of here,
Speaker 1: Bye bye, Yeah, keep going. Yep Ah, I'm alive. There
Speaker 1: is Two Doting Dance podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of
Speaker 1: country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present,
Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
Speaker 2: peoples today.
Speaker 1: This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land.