WEBVTT - ASK UNCUT -Am I a bad feminist? 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:22.279 Hey guys, and I'll welcome back to another episode of 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:24.680 A Life on Cut. This is ask Gun Cut, your 0:00:24.800 --> 0:00:28.080 Thursday edition, You're down and dirty edition where you writing 0:00:28.120 --> 0:00:31.280 your deep duck burning questions and we do our best 0:00:31.320 --> 0:00:32.080 to answer them. 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:35.159 I'm Brittany and I'm Laura, and I am coming to 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:37.919 you guys from Byron Bay. 0:00:38.240 --> 0:00:40.760 Could I sound like any more of an influencer right now? 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:42.640 But firstly, I just want to say, if I sound 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:45.360 a little bit weird on this record, it is because 0:00:45.880 --> 0:00:47.360 I packed my road caster. 0:00:47.600 --> 0:00:48.920 I packed my microphones. 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:51.680 Like Britta and I, we are well skilled at doing 0:00:51.960 --> 0:00:55.120 these remote recordings. Now, however, I got here and the 0:00:55.160 --> 0:00:58.040 whole thing is carved it. So I'm currently recording this 0:00:58.120 --> 0:00:59.600 over zoom, just like the old days. 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:02.040 I just want to reiterate for you guys that don't know. 0:01:02.080 --> 0:01:04.200 The road cast is the machine we recording. It's like 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:06.319 the size of a suitcase has got all these cords 0:01:06.360 --> 0:01:09.640 and we take our microphones. I managed to take mine, Laura, 0:01:09.720 --> 0:01:12.080 around the world with me. You had one trip to 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:14.560 Byron Bay. God knows what has happened in your luggage. 0:01:14.600 --> 0:01:17.080 I don't know, but it carved it. Anyway. We are 0:01:17.120 --> 0:01:19.600 so determined to bring you guys the episode, so we've 0:01:19.640 --> 0:01:22.160 made do We've got a backup plan. It's gonna be fine. 0:01:22.240 --> 0:01:23.920 But what it does mean is that the start of 0:01:23.959 --> 0:01:26.800 this episode might sound a little bit different to the 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:29.120 rest of the episode, but we're committed. We're here for 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:30.000 you guys. 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:32.400 Totally just persevere. I swear that this is just the 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:32.960 intro chat. 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:35.119 We actually recorded all of the questions before I left 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:37.199 a couple of days ago, but we thought we wanted 0:01:37.240 --> 0:01:38.959 to make sure that the intro was in real time, 0:01:39.080 --> 0:01:41.880 just in case anything crazy or wild happened in the world. 0:01:42.200 --> 0:01:44.639 And something crazy and wild did happen in the world, 0:01:44.720 --> 0:01:48.639 and everybody's talking about it, and I honestly just can't 0:01:48.680 --> 0:01:50.680 even tell you. I was in tears today when the 0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:54.080 news broke that little Cleo in Western Australia was found. 0:01:54.160 --> 0:01:56.560 If anybody doesn't know this news, you've been living under 0:01:56.560 --> 0:02:00.200 a rock. But it was just the most incredible thing 0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:01.280 when that news broke. 0:02:01.520 --> 0:02:04.000 Honestly, there is no better news than anyone, I think 0:02:04.040 --> 0:02:06.120 in Australia or around the world that followed this case. 0:02:06.160 --> 0:02:08.360 There's nothing more that you want to hear than a 0:02:08.440 --> 0:02:10.760 child that has been missing has been found safe and well. 0:02:10.760 --> 0:02:14.040 But if anyone doesn't know, we'll give you a quick backstory. 0:02:14.280 --> 0:02:16.640 I am like, I'm making an assumption that Australia knows, 0:02:16.680 --> 0:02:18.560 but if you don't, Little Cleo Smith she's a four 0:02:18.600 --> 0:02:21.280 year old girl and on October sixteen, So I think 0:02:21.360 --> 0:02:22.880 I can't do the math right now, but it's about 0:02:22.960 --> 0:02:27.480 nineteen or twenty days ago. She was taken from her 0:02:27.600 --> 0:02:30.400 tent in a sleeping bag. Like at the start, it 0:02:30.480 --> 0:02:32.600 was a bit like what's happened? Has she gotten up 0:02:32.600 --> 0:02:34.400 and walked out of the tent on her own and 0:02:34.440 --> 0:02:36.560 then gotten lost in the middle of the night. That's 0:02:36.560 --> 0:02:38.600 actually what they thought happened. At the beginning. They were 0:02:38.600 --> 0:02:41.240 searching land everywhere, they were searching the ocean. They thought 0:02:41.280 --> 0:02:44.200 she had just wandered off. It just wasn't fathomable that 0:02:44.280 --> 0:02:47.240 somebody could go into the tent while the whole family 0:02:47.320 --> 0:02:50.760 is sleeping and take a child. It turned into a 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:53.079 criminal case. They started to search for this man. Now 0:02:53.120 --> 0:02:55.600 I don't know, and I cannot wait until the police 0:02:55.600 --> 0:02:59.760 do release this information. I don't know how they managed 0:02:59.800 --> 0:03:02.720 to track her down, but it is the most amazing 0:03:02.760 --> 0:03:05.639 police work. And I think every single person that has 0:03:05.919 --> 0:03:08.160 searched non stop twenty four hours a day for the 0:03:08.240 --> 0:03:11.760 last few weeks. For this little girl needs a reward. 0:03:11.800 --> 0:03:13.680 It's absolutely incredible and it just goes to show you 0:03:13.720 --> 0:03:15.760 what can happen when everybody comes together and we do 0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:18.000 have some amazing police work. I'm just ecstatic and I 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:20.400 actually can't believe we got this outcome. 0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:23.440 I think all of Australia yesterday cried tears of joy 0:03:23.520 --> 0:03:25.280 that Clara was found. And I know that there were 0:03:25.320 --> 0:03:27.520 so many people in our Facebook group who were sharing 0:03:27.560 --> 0:03:31.160 news articles and if you haven't been following the story, basically, 0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:33.960 yesterday the Deputy Police Commissioner Cole Blanche and i'd press 0:03:34.040 --> 0:03:36.680 release that was about four am in the morning to 0:03:36.800 --> 0:03:39.320 say that Claire had been found in a home in Carnarvon, 0:03:39.400 --> 0:03:41.360 which is the same area that she's from. It's the 0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:44.120 same area that she went missing from. They picked her 0:03:44.200 --> 0:03:46.600 up and the Police Commissioner said that the officer who 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:48.760 found her went into the house. She was found in 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:51.280 a bedroom in this house from a man who is 0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:54.640 completely unrelated to the family. So there is definitely so 0:03:54.800 --> 0:03:56.960 much more information that's going to come out there. But 0:03:57.240 --> 0:03:58.920 they picked her up and asked her what her name 0:03:59.040 --> 0:04:02.160 is and her response was, Hi, my name is Cleo. 0:04:02.720 --> 0:04:05.600 And that I think just is the most incredible thing. 0:04:05.480 --> 0:04:07.160 The craziest thing about this, And I guess I mean, 0:04:07.200 --> 0:04:09.000 it is crazy, but it's not. But for the first 0:04:09.000 --> 0:04:12.360 time ever, the state government offered a one million dollar 0:04:12.400 --> 0:04:16.160 reward to help find Clear. And now they haven't said yet, 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:19.160 no one is released to say that the information which 0:04:19.360 --> 0:04:22.200 may have inevitably helped them find Clear and taken his 0:04:22.320 --> 0:04:24.480 men to custody. We don't know if that actually came 0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:26.560 because of the reward, but what they are saying is 0:04:26.600 --> 0:04:29.960 it's highly likely it did. Because a one million dollar reward. 0:04:29.960 --> 0:04:32.000 All of a sudden, people are remembering things. People are 0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:35.320 phoning up to talk about things that probably they didn't 0:04:35.400 --> 0:04:37.360 think were relevant, but all of a sudden, when there's 0:04:37.400 --> 0:04:40.240 money involved, and it should not be like that, but 0:04:40.960 --> 0:04:43.480 people start to think maybe that little bit of information 0:04:43.720 --> 0:04:46.800 is relevant. And the neighbors came forward and said, you 0:04:46.880 --> 0:04:48.840 know what, this is a thirty six year old man 0:04:48.839 --> 0:04:50.160 that they have in custody. They said, you know what, 0:04:50.240 --> 0:04:52.880 we actually did see him shopping and he was buying 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:55.719 nappies and we thought, well, that's a bit weird because 0:04:55.760 --> 0:04:57.520 he doesn't have a kid. But at the time, you 0:04:57.560 --> 0:04:59.080 don't really think about it, and you don't think the 0:04:59.080 --> 0:05:01.719 person next door to In this tight knick community of 0:05:01.720 --> 0:05:04.560 canav and there's only four thousand people, there's no way 0:05:04.600 --> 0:05:06.760 you think that he would have done that, that he 0:05:06.800 --> 0:05:09.800 would have that little girl locked inside this room totally. 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:11.400 And I guess, like one of the things that stood 0:05:11.440 --> 0:05:13.520 out so much from all the media and press releases 0:05:13.520 --> 0:05:16.080 that came out yesterday was, you know, and everyone wants 0:05:16.120 --> 0:05:18.159 to know how she is, Like, how is clear? What 0:05:18.520 --> 0:05:20.960 has happened? People want to know, they want answers to 0:05:21.040 --> 0:05:24.479 these questions. But the overarching statement that came out was 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:24.960 that she is. 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:25.760 Alive and well. 0:05:26.200 --> 0:05:30.839 And I think as absolutely joyful and happy that everybody 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:33.000 is that she has been found. I just I read 0:05:33.040 --> 0:05:35.560 that and I was like, alive and well, like, what 0:05:35.600 --> 0:05:38.359 does that even mean when you've been abducted for eighteen days? 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:40.680 And I know that there's privacy and everything else that 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:42.880 goes around these sorts of things, and maybe we'll never 0:05:42.960 --> 0:05:45.520 know what happened, and maybe we shouldn't know, Like I mean, 0:05:45.520 --> 0:05:46.839 it's none of our business. Really. 0:05:46.920 --> 0:05:49.320 The most important thing is that she's safe. But I 0:05:49.440 --> 0:05:52.200 just read that sentence and I was like, alive, and well, 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:55.000 how the fuck can you be well after you've been 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:58.000 kidnapped for eighteen days from your home. My heart absolutely 0:05:58.040 --> 0:06:00.599 breaks for her family, and they've come out and spoken 0:06:00.640 --> 0:06:03.320 a lot about the online trolling that they'd experienced during 0:06:03.320 --> 0:06:06.520 this time. I can't imagine how incredibly. 0:06:05.920 --> 0:06:09.320 Difficult it would be surviving those eighteen nineteen days without 0:06:09.400 --> 0:06:12.039 your child and not knowing what had happened to them, 0:06:12.279 --> 0:06:16.480 but also experiencing the social and public commentary of people 0:06:16.600 --> 0:06:18.880 accusing you or thinking that you might have some involvement 0:06:18.920 --> 0:06:22.320 in this is just so harrowing and horrific. But all 0:06:22.320 --> 0:06:24.839 in all, and not to start this conversation off with 0:06:25.560 --> 0:06:28.719 a negative conversation, because it is honestly just the most 0:06:28.760 --> 0:06:31.320 wonderful news that she has been found. But this is 0:06:31.360 --> 0:06:34.240 the biggest thing that's happened in Australia and we can't 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:36.400 not talk about it. Everybody is talking about it. 0:06:36.680 --> 0:06:38.599 Yeah, And just before we get into the episode, I 0:06:38.640 --> 0:06:40.360 just wanted to add one more thing. I can't stress 0:06:40.480 --> 0:06:44.240 enough something that Laurie just said. I absolutely don't think 0:06:44.360 --> 0:06:46.240 we will ever know what happened to her, and I 0:06:46.240 --> 0:06:48.279 don't think we should. I don't think any of us 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:50.240 is entitled to know. I think that that is something 0:06:50.279 --> 0:06:52.880 that the family will deal with in private. Much as 0:06:52.920 --> 0:06:55.080 the public are invested, we should be invested to a 0:06:55.120 --> 0:06:58.360 point where we've helped get Clear back and we're happy 0:06:58.440 --> 0:07:00.560 for her welfare. We're happy that she's back home and safe, 0:07:00.600 --> 0:07:03.120 and I think that that's where it ends. So anyway, team, 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:05.159 I know that that is probably a little bit of 0:07:05.200 --> 0:07:08.160 a different conversation and a different introduction than we usually 0:07:08.200 --> 0:07:10.640 do on Life on Cut, especially on Ask Guncut, but 0:07:10.960 --> 0:07:13.160 there's just no way we couldn't touch base on this 0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:15.640 because it is It is the best news we're going 0:07:15.680 --> 0:07:18.920 to hear, possibly this year, but definitely this week, and 0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:21.480 we're just so ecstatic that little Clear has been found. 0:07:22.160 --> 0:07:24.640 And on that note, it is time to get into 0:07:24.720 --> 0:07:27.520 the questions. So question and number one, I'm going to 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:29.600 kick start this off, Laura. I was hoping you guys 0:07:29.600 --> 0:07:31.720 can give me some advice on how to ask my 0:07:31.800 --> 0:07:33.560 boss for a pay rise. I have been in the 0:07:33.560 --> 0:07:37.200 hospitality industry for ten years and have spent the last 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:40.720 five in upper management and completing a degree in hospitality 0:07:40.720 --> 0:07:44.560 management in twenty seventeen. As I'm only young. I'm twenty four. 0:07:44.920 --> 0:07:47.320 I feel as though my skills are somewhat being taken 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:50.320 for granted being a young female. I love my job, 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:52.640 I love my employer, but I'm at the stage of 0:07:52.680 --> 0:07:55.240 my career where I'm really realizing my worth and I 0:07:55.280 --> 0:07:57.400 don't want to keep working for the salary that I'm 0:07:57.440 --> 0:08:01.320 on when I know I could be getting paid more elsewhere. Ps. 0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:03.840 My boss and I have become really close recently and 0:08:03.920 --> 0:08:07.360 we have a really jovial slash professional relationship. We often 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:09.880 have a wine after work, she invites me over for dinner. 0:08:10.280 --> 0:08:12.480 I'm just a bit worried that asking for a pay 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:15.680 your rise might hinder the great working relationship that I 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:21.240 have with her. Please help. We all want more money. Oh, 0:08:21.280 --> 0:08:24.240 everyone wants more money. I want more money, and you 0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:26.960 sounds like you deserve it if you've done your due diligence, 0:08:26.960 --> 0:08:29.120 you've done your studies, you've been in it for ten years. 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:32.439 But actually I have one little question. You're only twenty four, 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:33.960 but you've been in for ten years. Were you working 0:08:34.000 --> 0:08:34.560 at fourteen? 0:08:34.840 --> 0:08:37.920 Yeah, she's probably been working hospitalities fourteen and six months. 0:08:38.000 --> 0:08:38.120 Is that? 0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:38.640 Oh? 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:41.720 It is it fifteen nine months? Not fourteen years? Anyway, 0:08:41.760 --> 0:08:43.040 you're an absolute boss. 0:08:43.160 --> 0:08:48.240 Okay, So my thing is everybody finds it hard to 0:08:48.280 --> 0:08:51.280 ask for more money. Like everyone, it's so hard to 0:08:51.360 --> 0:08:53.160 go to your boss and ask for more money. It's 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:56.040 hard to sit down and have those conversations. I guess 0:08:56.080 --> 0:08:58.000 that there's that big fear of like, well, what if 0:08:58.080 --> 0:09:00.040 they say no? And you know you don't want to 0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:03.480 offend them. But the reality is you can't offend somebody 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:06.920 if you have the skill set, if you have worked 0:09:06.960 --> 0:09:08.640 and you've worked your way up, and you are a 0:09:08.720 --> 0:09:11.560 valued member of that company or of whatever it is, 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:14.880 whatever place you work, asking for more money is not 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:17.280 something that's going to be offensive. But you do have 0:09:17.280 --> 0:09:18.840 to get a little bit organized, and you do have 0:09:18.840 --> 0:09:20.840 to get a little bit strategic with how you do it. 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:23.760 I agree, there's nothing that would make me more uncomfortable 0:09:23.800 --> 0:09:26.000 than going to my boss and asking for more money. 0:09:26.080 --> 0:09:28.520 And I think that everybody's on that page. It's never 0:09:28.559 --> 0:09:31.000 a comfortable conversation, but it's definitely something that you shouldn't 0:09:31.000 --> 0:09:33.200 be afraid to do. If you really think you're worth it, 0:09:33.240 --> 0:09:35.000 and you've said that, you think you can go somewhere 0:09:35.040 --> 0:09:37.120 else and get more money, not even you think you said, 0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:39.559 I know I can go somewhere else. Obviously you like 0:09:39.640 --> 0:09:42.040 your job and you'd rather stay. I think you've got 0:09:42.120 --> 0:09:44.480 nothing to lose. You one hundred percent need to be 0:09:44.559 --> 0:09:46.400 able to approach your boss. And you're friends with her, 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:48.240 so you should be able to approach her. But you 0:09:48.320 --> 0:09:51.040 need to approach her not as a friend, as an 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:54.520 employee and an employer relationship. What you need to do. 0:09:54.679 --> 0:09:57.040 And it's different for me because forever I have worked 0:09:57.160 --> 0:10:00.880 in the medical industry and we have a of criteria 0:10:01.000 --> 0:10:04.200 for every category. If you can meet the criteria, you 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:06.560 go to your employer, your boss, and you say, look, 0:10:06.640 --> 0:10:08.480 I have ticked off every box, which means I'm in 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:10.160 this next category, which means I get to pay rice. 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:11.320 You just got to be able to prove you can 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:13.720 do it. I would suggest doing the same thing. You 0:10:13.760 --> 0:10:16.800 probably don't have that kind of contract, but if you 0:10:16.840 --> 0:10:19.320 write down all the lists you're doing and showing that 0:10:19.360 --> 0:10:21.600 you're in a higher role than you're being paid, they 0:10:21.640 --> 0:10:24.839 can't really say no. Well they can, but if they 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:27.480 do say no, you can leave and go somewhere else. 0:10:27.520 --> 0:10:29.800 It's just that you want to stay there. You're happy. 0:10:29.800 --> 0:10:31.160 So I would say that I would set up a 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:33.640 meeting with my boss, and I'd be like, look, I 0:10:33.679 --> 0:10:35.520 am doing this, this, this, this, and this, which I 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:38.760 think is above my pay grade. And I really really 0:10:38.840 --> 0:10:40.720 don't want to leave here because I love you guys. 0:10:40.760 --> 0:10:43.040 I love you, I love the job, I love my colleagues. 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:48.240 Is there room to move and reassess my pay You're 0:10:48.280 --> 0:10:50.839 just asking the question. She's either going to say yes, 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:52.360 let's look at that, or she's going to say no. 0:10:52.520 --> 0:10:54.280 And then you just have to be armed with what 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:57.360 you're willing to do if the answer is no, Are 0:10:57.400 --> 0:10:59.920 you actually willing to leave if the answer is no, 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:02.040 or are you willing to stay and continue your job? 0:11:02.120 --> 0:11:05.760 So I would decide within yourself what you will do 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:07.640 with the answer is no before you go in there. 0:11:08.000 --> 0:11:10.400 I agree with everything you've said, Britt, and I think 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:12.120 the first thing I want to say on this is 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:14.040 going back to the first point where I said asking 0:11:14.080 --> 0:11:16.520 for a pay rise is scary. So many things are 0:11:16.520 --> 0:11:18.880 scary until you do them more times and then you 0:11:18.920 --> 0:11:21.600 become more comfortable with it. As a small business owner, 0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:24.360 I'm going to kind of tell you how I have 0:11:24.440 --> 0:11:26.960 in the past asked for pay rises and also when 0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:29.680 employees have come to me, how I like them to 0:11:29.679 --> 0:11:30.079 come to me. 0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:33.040 So so have you Have you had people come to 0:11:33.040 --> 0:11:35.240 you before and saying hey, I want more money absolutely 0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:36.880 makes me uncomfortable. 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:41.160 Absolutely, And almost all of them I've given more money to. 0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:43.920 It depends on what the conversation has been, It depends 0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:47.000 on what their role is. But almost every single one 0:11:47.040 --> 0:11:49.320 who has asked for a pay rise has received it. 0:11:49.520 --> 0:11:51.640 I'm going to ask you after this pay me off. 0:11:52.559 --> 0:11:54.400 But it's because, Okay, a lot of my staff have 0:11:54.480 --> 0:11:57.720 been with me for many, many years and they've grown 0:11:57.760 --> 0:11:59.720 with the company. And sometimes I think when you have 0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:02.240 someone who grows with your company, their skill sets grow, 0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:06.040 you have to annually assess what their role is. And 0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:08.600 that's often what can be lacking in small businesses is 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:11.400 sitting down and having like a review with your employer. 0:12:11.760 --> 0:12:13.880 So you sit down, you have a formal review where 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:16.000 they say, I love that you're doing this, this and this, 0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:18.040 I think you can work on X, Y and Z, 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:20.840 and that is the normal setting where you would say 0:12:20.880 --> 0:12:23.200 and put forward your case for a pay rise. The 0:12:23.240 --> 0:12:25.800 problem with some small businesses, especially I think things like 0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:29.080 hospitality retail, is that they don't always have the same 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:32.680 formal review processes. So I would say go to your boss, 0:12:33.160 --> 0:12:35.840 whether it's you know, face to face or by email 0:12:35.920 --> 0:12:37.319 or by you can do it by text, but that's 0:12:37.320 --> 0:12:40.280 probably the least professional way, and just say I would 0:12:40.280 --> 0:12:42.600 really love to schedule a time to have a meeting 0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:45.280 with you to talk about pay review, so they know 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:48.160 exactly what it is that they're going into that meeting discussing. 0:12:48.559 --> 0:12:51.280 And after that, once you set your date, you then 0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:54.480 put together all of your information. Put together all the 0:12:54.520 --> 0:12:56.200 things that you're doing in your job, in your role, 0:12:56.240 --> 0:12:59.240 like Britz said, put together what other companies are paying 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:02.000 employees that do the similar job to you. Put together 0:13:02.040 --> 0:13:04.640 what you should be paid based on what your experiences, 0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:07.920 what your education levels are, and then you can set 0:13:07.920 --> 0:13:10.240 forward a really great case and be like, exactly what 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:12.960 Brit said, I love working here. I think I'm a 0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:16.080 really valuable member to this team. This is what we 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:18.280 have achieved since I've been here, this is what I've 0:13:18.280 --> 0:13:20.880 contributed to the company, and this is why I think 0:13:20.920 --> 0:13:23.439 I deserve a five percent or whatever it is. I 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:25.600 think you go in there with an idea of what 0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:28.199 you want as a percentage increase and ask for it. 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:30.640 The best thing you can do is going armed with information. 0:13:30.760 --> 0:13:33.040 So you have to know what you want, and you 0:13:33.080 --> 0:13:34.760 have to know why you want it, and you have 0:13:34.840 --> 0:13:36.920 to know what other people getting paid in the same job. 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:39.640 If you can cover all those categories, there's not really 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:42.440 room for an argument. So go in, think about it, 0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:45.680 write it down, learn it, be confident, go in address 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:48.000 it in a respectful manner. Make sure you know what 0:13:48.120 --> 0:13:51.160 your decision is going to be depending on her answer. 0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:53.600 I don't think you need to have it in your 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:56.240 head that you're going to leave, Like, for example, if 0:13:56.280 --> 0:13:58.280 you're really happy with your job, if you love or 0:13:58.320 --> 0:14:00.920 you work, and the only thing it's a consideration at 0:14:00.920 --> 0:14:03.680 the moment is pay and you have this conversation and 0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:06.200 then they're like, sorry, we're not going to pay you anymore. 0:14:06.559 --> 0:14:08.640 You may make the decision to leave down the track, 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:10.240 but I don't think you have to walk in there 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:12.480 with this mentality of like, if you don't pay me 0:14:12.559 --> 0:14:15.640 more money, I'm quitting. The reality is is that if 0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:18.440 they don't meet you at all, if there's no wiggle room, 0:14:18.559 --> 0:14:20.920 you probably will end up becoming a bit resentful and 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:23.920 wanting to leave anyway because you will feel like, well, 0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:26.160 I put forward the best case, I'm not valued here 0:14:26.200 --> 0:14:28.120 and I want to work somewhere where I am valued. 0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:31.040 Everybody wants to feel valued where they work, and one 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:33.480 of the best ways of feeling valued, not the only way, 0:14:33.520 --> 0:14:36.760 but a very important way is financially. The only other 0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:38.880 thing I want to say on this is maybe the 0:14:38.880 --> 0:14:41.280 business isn't in a situation where they're able to give 0:14:41.280 --> 0:14:46.680 pay rises because of financial constraints. COVID Hospitality, Like, there's 0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:49.320 so many reasons why a business may not be able 0:14:49.360 --> 0:14:51.720 to give you a pay rise right now. So I think, like, 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:54.320 make sure that you have a full conversation around it. 0:14:54.600 --> 0:14:58.040 And if they say no now, and that's your boss's 0:14:58.040 --> 0:14:59.920 reply is like, no, you're not getting a pay rise 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:02.320 at the moment, find out why and what you can 0:15:02.360 --> 0:15:03.800 do to work towards a pay rise. 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:06.400 But this is also why I said, just know what 0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:08.400 you think you want to do in your mind, and 0:15:08.440 --> 0:15:10.120 it's not to go into your boss and if she 0:15:10.120 --> 0:15:12.160 says no, say cool, I'm quitting. That's not it, and 0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:13.960 you don't tell her. If it's a no, it's hitting. 0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:17.360 It's more fucking it out, bit flip a table on 0:15:17.400 --> 0:15:22.160 your way. It's more so that you know in your head, Okay, cool. 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:23.680 If I'm not going to be met with what I 0:15:23.760 --> 0:15:26.200 need and what I think I deserve and the answer 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:28.520 is no, then I know in myself I can start 0:15:28.560 --> 0:15:30.120 to look for another job totally. 0:15:30.160 --> 0:15:32.840 And the most important thing for anybody in the workplace 0:15:32.960 --> 0:15:35.760 is nobody is going to advocate for you the way 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:36.520 that you need. 0:15:36.400 --> 0:15:37.560 To advocate for yourself. 0:15:37.800 --> 0:15:39.680 If you deserve a pay rise, you have to ask 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:43.840 for it because very few employees, very few workplaces are 0:15:43.920 --> 0:15:47.080 just fucking given out pay rises, Willy. Nearly everyone wants 0:15:47.080 --> 0:15:49.360 to hold onto their bottom dollar. Everyone wants to run 0:15:49.360 --> 0:15:52.680 their business as efficiently as possible. And you know, even 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:55.360 if your business or company does offer you a pay rise, 0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:58.480 because you're deserving of one, you can always ask for more. 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:01.400 The only other thing I would suggest from and this 0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:04.880 is just from experience, is to try and make sure 0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:06.880 there is a pay per trayal of things. So even 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:10.080 if you do go and have a verbal conversation, just say, hey, 0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:11.760 I'm just going to shoot you through an email just 0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:14.400 to reconfirm what we spoke about. That is my suggestion 0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:17.040 as well, because there's nothing more important than if you 0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:18.640 need to go. If you do decide to stay, and 0:16:18.680 --> 0:16:20.920 she says no, and in another year's time you want 0:16:20.920 --> 0:16:22.920 to go back, you can say, look like, this isn't 0:16:22.920 --> 0:16:25.280 the first time I've approached you. But if everything's just 0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:27.680 in a verbal conversation, it's a lot harder to prove 0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:30.800 these things. I just it just saves your ass. 0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:33.280 Totally, especially if they say, oh, if you work towards 0:16:33.280 --> 0:16:34.600 these things, we'll give you a pay rise. 0:16:34.640 --> 0:16:36.560 And now you're like, look, I did ticked it all off. Yeah, 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:37.640 one hundred percent. 0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:39.800 Anyway, I feel like that that's our that's. 0:16:39.600 --> 0:16:40.800 My life advice. Good. 0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:43.000 Everybody needs to ask for what they. 0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:43.440 Want in life. 0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:45.680 It's very, very important and it can be scary, but 0:16:45.720 --> 0:16:47.360 it also is very rewarding. 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:50.480 Question number two. 0:16:50.960 --> 0:16:53.120 All right, ladies, I have heard you answer this question 0:16:53.160 --> 0:16:56.240 in other ways before. However, I think my predicament is 0:16:56.280 --> 0:17:00.680 slightly different. My best friends and my closest girlfriend hate 0:17:00.840 --> 0:17:05.320 my boyfriend now uft. Yeah, And this is interesting because 0:17:05.320 --> 0:17:07.960 we have answered this question before where it's been like 0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:11.960 I don't like my friend's boyfriend, but never my friends 0:17:11.960 --> 0:17:14.920 hate my boyfriend. Okay, so she goes on my friends 0:17:14.960 --> 0:17:17.840 hate my boyfriend. At the beginning, when we first started dating, 0:17:17.880 --> 0:17:19.760 he was a bit of a dick to me. We 0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:21.679 had plenty of fights and it was a little bit 0:17:21.680 --> 0:17:23.879