WEBVTT - MINI! Can you remain friends with an Ex… or will there always be something there?

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<v Speaker 1>It is time for us to do this.

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<v Speaker 2>Ask our Cut, So ask gun Cut is a segment

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<v Speaker 2>we do on Life on Cut where you guys call

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<v Speaker 2>in with your deep you're dark and your burning problems

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<v Speaker 2>and we get you to call up on a Thursday

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<v Speaker 2>and tell us what's going on in your lives.

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<v Speaker 3>Now.

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<v Speaker 2>This week we have a caller. Her name is Mandy,

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<v Speaker 2>and she wants to know whether she should be friends

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<v Speaker 2>with her ex. Oh classic, Mandy, Welcome to the pickout, amens.

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<v Speaker 4>Hi, how are you going guys?

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<v Speaker 3>Hime Manby set the scene for us. What a you

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<v Speaker 3>got going on?

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<v Speaker 4>So? My partner and I were together for six years,

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<v Speaker 4>very young, got together when we was seventeen sixteen, I think,

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<v Speaker 4>and earlier this year we decided to part ways. He

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<v Speaker 4>ended it, but it was very mutual. Unfortunately, these things

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<v Speaker 4>we got very comfortable with each other kind of stopped

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<v Speaker 4>trying in the relationship because we got very comfortable. Yeah yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>and we're young, like, yeah, of course haven't experienced things.

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<v Speaker 4>But we did the breakup. It was very hard, you know,

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<v Speaker 4>still very much in love with each other because nothing

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<v Speaker 4>really happens. However, we've kind of just become friends again

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<v Speaker 4>after like we mended our broken heart and now our

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<v Speaker 4>friends again, and he still sees the future with me,

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<v Speaker 4>which is really hard to hear. But he doesn't want

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<v Speaker 4>it now, He wants it in the future.

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<v Speaker 2>So absolutely, do you want to be with him now?

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<v Speaker 2>Like do you want to get back together or do

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<v Speaker 2>you not want to be with him?

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<v Speaker 4>Yes? And no?

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<v Speaker 3>Just to get it clear, is he saying to you,

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<v Speaker 3>you're the person for me and I want to be

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<v Speaker 3>with you, just not now.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, So he's saying like he's not saying it in

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<v Speaker 4>a proud way. He's saying it in like a hurt's

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<v Speaker 4>heart kind of way. He's saying, like, I see you

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<v Speaker 4>as being my wife and the mother of my kids.

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<v Speaker 4>But because we're twenty two and twenty three, he just

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<v Speaker 4>thinks that, and there is merit and what he's saying,

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<v Speaker 4>but he just thinks that being separate for a little

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<v Speaker 4>bit longer would work to our favor. But I'm like, no,

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<v Speaker 4>why are we torturing ourselves?

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<v Speaker 1>This is essentially exactly the same as the breakup I've

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<v Speaker 1>just been through. Five years, we've been together, we've been

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<v Speaker 1>apart six months, and we toyed back and forth going

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<v Speaker 1>should we or should we not? Get back together, and

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<v Speaker 1>I was so close to and the best thing I

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<v Speaker 1>ever did was not biting the bullet. You need more

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<v Speaker 1>time to learn about yourself. Have you dated anyone else

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<v Speaker 1>in your life? Man?

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<v Speaker 4>Sure, I haven't. I haven't yet because I thought that

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<v Speaker 4>I'm not open to it. It just I've just enjoyed

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<v Speaker 4>being single.

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<v Speaker 2>I also think Mandy at this point in time, I

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<v Speaker 2>think that's really hard is when you're friends with an

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<v Speaker 2>ex who you still have a lot of feelings for,

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<v Speaker 2>who you're saying, oh, one day we're going to be

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<v Speaker 2>back together. It means you're not in any way open

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<v Speaker 2>to meeting someone new.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so you're not really.

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<v Speaker 2>Doing single properly. You're kind of doing You've got one

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<v Speaker 2>foot in one camp and one foot in the other camp.

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<v Speaker 2>And I guess the issue is is where are his feet?

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<v Speaker 2>Because if he's dating other people, if he's exploring other things,

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<v Speaker 2>it just feels like an opportunity for you to get

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<v Speaker 2>hurt all over again and for him to break your

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<v Speaker 2>heart a second time.

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<v Speaker 3>I actually get what he's saying though, in all honesty,

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<v Speaker 3>I remember I was in a relationship for like eight

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<v Speaker 3>years with someone I loved so much, and exactly the

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<v Speaker 3>same thing. We were just young because we were only

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<v Speaker 3>like sixteen, Mandy and I remember saying, me saying, we

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<v Speaker 3>both said it to each other. We know we're going

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<v Speaker 3>to be together forever, but we need to go and

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<v Speaker 3>explore and do our own thing. And I think that

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<v Speaker 3>your partner, your your ex boyfriend. Sorry, I think he

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<v Speaker 3>genuinely believes that because he does love you, but he

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<v Speaker 3>obviously really wants to have some life experiences and not

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<v Speaker 3>in the process. So I don't think he's actually been

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<v Speaker 3>a dickhead about it. I think he genuinely thinks you

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<v Speaker 3>guys are going to come back full circle. Maybe you will,

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<v Speaker 3>maybe you won't.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't put your life on hold waiting for something that

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<v Speaker 2>might be, because all you're doing is wasting time that

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<v Speaker 2>you could be investing in something else or someone else

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<v Speaker 2>for It'll be TI Mandy.

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<v Speaker 1>Hope that helps all right, Thank you guys.

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<v Speaker 4>Thanks.

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<v Speaker 1>If you have a question you want us to help

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<v Speaker 1>me with the pickup dot com dot au, write and

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<v Speaker 1>you can dms on the pickup on Instagram as well.