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Speaker 1: In the modern working world, it's more common than ever

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Speaker 1: to completely change careers, and maybe even multiple times over.

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Speaker 1: But would you have been able to change the lanes

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Speaker 1: so dramatically at the age of twenty three. That's not

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Speaker 1: a hypothetical for Tom Boyd, who retired from playing football

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Speaker 1: in the.

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Speaker 2: AFL in twenty nineteen.

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Speaker 1: Before he was even halfway through his twenties. So how

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Speaker 1: did he make the transition when football was the only

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Speaker 1: life he'd ever known. Well, it started with a whole

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Speaker 1: lot of reflection. After months and months of preparing for

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Speaker 1: the next chapter of his life, everything ground to a

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Speaker 1: halt when COVID hit and Tom was forced to do

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Speaker 1: nothing but think about what he really wanted to do

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Speaker 1: with his life. I'm doctor Amantha Imber, an organizational psychologist

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Speaker 1: and the host of How I Work, and I'm trying

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Speaker 1: something a little different for the next few weeks.

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Speaker 2: This is How I Live, a.

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Speaker 1: Series that gives you an inside look but some super

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Speaker 1: accomplished people's top strategies for living a happy, productive, and

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Speaker 1: impactful life. When Tom made the decision to leave his

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Speaker 1: AFL career, he was struggling with several mental health challenges.

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Speaker 1: He was dealing with clinical depression, panic attacks, anxiety, and insomnia.

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Speaker 1: So I was keen to know if there was something

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Speaker 1: that he had bought or acquired in the last few

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Speaker 1: years that's made a really big difference to his physical

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Speaker 1: or mental health.

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Speaker 3: I think, probably most recently, the thing that strikes me

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Speaker 3: is it is a physical possession, but I suppose what

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Speaker 3: it represents is far greater than that, and that would

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Speaker 3: be a netball that my wife has recently acquired. And

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Speaker 3: I think for that is that I've gone back to

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Speaker 3: playing social sport again for the first time really in

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Speaker 3: my life. Like you know, I basically played competitive sports

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Speaker 3: since I was eleven years old. There was certainly a

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Speaker 3: domestic element to that, which was all your local teams

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Speaker 3: that were feeders into the representative side. But since I

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Speaker 3: was genuinely thirteen or fourteen, that hasn't really been an

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Speaker 3: ability for me to just go out and have fun.

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Speaker 4: And so we've been playing mixed nepall or Wednesday nights.

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Speaker 3: I recently started playing with a few of my ex

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Speaker 3: teammates on a Monday night, playing social basketball, and I

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Speaker 3: think that combination of just getting out there for exercise

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Speaker 3: in a team environment, it's something I really haven't been

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Speaker 3: able to foster too much, firstly given the pandemic and

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Speaker 3: then secondarily since I've stopped playing football at the local level.

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Speaker 3: So I think that has been a really big weight

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Speaker 3: lifted off our shoulders to be able to connect over

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Speaker 3: something that's fun and exciting and energetic. And it can

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Speaker 3: be a logistical nightmare with the one year old at times,

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Speaker 3: but it's certainly worth the squeeze.

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Speaker 1: I got to ask, being on the opposing team to

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Speaker 1: tom BOYD, how do you how do it?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 2: What are your opponents thinking?

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Speaker 3: There has been a few games when my opponent who

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Speaker 3: Because in mixed netball you have to have four girls

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Speaker 3: and three boys, and you can't have two boys in

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Speaker 3: any one section of the court.

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Speaker 4: There's been a couple of.

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Speaker 3: Times where I've had a couple of girls come down

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Speaker 3: to stand next to me as the goal shooter and

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Speaker 3: I'm the goalkeeper and they're five foot nothing, and it's

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Speaker 3: just it's not fair. But having said that, the competition

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Speaker 3: is very lighthearted and we just have a good time

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Speaker 3: with it all. And I think the funny thing about

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Speaker 3: it is I played quite a bit of mixed netbal

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Speaker 3: when I was at school. We had like strange sports

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Speaker 3: to choose from. At my school, Luther College, we could

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Speaker 3: only play football for a term and we could only

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Speaker 3: play basketball for a term, so we sort of had

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Speaker 3: these two seasons that we needed to fill in from

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Speaker 3: a sporting point of view, and mixed nepple was one

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Speaker 3: of the ones we undertook and we actually ended up

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Speaker 3: playing in a state championship with a bunch of the

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Speaker 3: footy guys. And I kind of know the rules, is

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Speaker 3: the point I'm making, But many of the guys that

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Speaker 3: we invite along, whether they be footge friends, are otherwise.

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Speaker 3: The rules are very complicated if you haven't played netball before,

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Speaker 3: so sometimes having the guys on your team, or those

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Speaker 3: who haven't played netball probably more specifically, can be more

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Speaker 3: of a hindrance than to help.

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Speaker 1: I'm curious about the change from competitive sport to social

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Speaker 1: sport just mentally.

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Speaker 2: That's quite a big difference.

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Speaker 1: Not playing to win, and I guess playing for other

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Speaker 1: benefits as opposed to winning.

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Speaker 2: We're like, how do you make that shift?

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Speaker 4: I think it's a great question.

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Speaker 3: I think what I've realized is that my motivation to

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Speaker 3: play sport is still the same. I mean, I still

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Speaker 3: want to win, and I still want to have a

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Speaker 3: good time doing it, but it's just the focus for

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Speaker 3: winning only last, probably for the last five minutes of

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Speaker 3: the game. The rest of the game, within reason, I'm

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Speaker 3: happy just to be a part of it all, and

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Speaker 3: then once it gets down to crunch down, I'm pretty

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Speaker 3: keen to to make sure that we win, because, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I don't know. That's what sports sort of is designed around,

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Speaker 3: is the scoreboard and the winning.

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Speaker 4: And the losing. And you know, it.

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Speaker 3: Makes it all the better if you can get through

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Speaker 3: the end of the season and be victorious and go

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Speaker 3: out for a nice dinner with everyone afterwards and celebrate

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Speaker 3: the victories.

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Speaker 4: But it certainly is not the same in terms of preparation.

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Speaker 3: I mean, one of the overwhelmingly sort of heavy parts

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Speaker 3: of professional sport is the preparation week to week and

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Speaker 3: the accumulation of pressure that you place on yourself from

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Speaker 3: the moment the game before or the game that finishes

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Speaker 3: the week before ends, and the moment that the next

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Speaker 3: game starts, and those seven days or five days and

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Speaker 3: changes week to week depending on scheduling, they are just

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Speaker 3: in a constant ramp up of preparation to beat the

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Speaker 3: next side. And I think for me to not have

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Speaker 3: to have that, to have sport as it once was

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Speaker 3: in my life as a bit of an escape for

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Speaker 3: my day to day routine and the things that I

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Speaker 3: need to accomplish and be accountable and responsible for as

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Speaker 3: a working member of society. As I would put it now,

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Speaker 3: it's a really nice sort of throwback to probably when

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Speaker 3: I was a bit younger and living a more balanced

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Speaker 3: lifestyle than I was when I was playing AFL football.

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Speaker 1: It's interesting about the shift in your daily and weekly rituals.

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Speaker 1: I would imagine that happens after you stop playing competitive sport,

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Speaker 1: and I'm wondering, over the last few years, what is

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Speaker 1: a daily or weekly ritual that's made the biggest positive

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Speaker 1: improvement to your life.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, this is going to sound really stupid, but weekends

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Speaker 4: would be the biggest difference.

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Speaker 2: Tell me about that.

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Speaker 3: So, when I was playing football for probably thirty eight

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Speaker 3: minimum weeks of the year, weekends were not my own.

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Speaker 3: All through pre season. You train Saturday mornings and by

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Speaker 3: the way, which is awesome. So you do your training session,

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Speaker 3: you finish at ten or twelve or whatever it is,

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Speaker 3: and then you've got the rest of the week in yourself.

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Speaker 3: But you never get those two days to actually go

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Speaker 3: away or to do things perhaps that take a little

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Speaker 3: bit more time to travel. The other thing that you

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Speaker 3: don't have and I didn't learn this until genuinely the

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Speaker 3: last twelve months is public holidays. Like I didn't know

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Speaker 3: when Labor Day was, or when previously the Queen's birthday was,

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Speaker 3: or even even Easter. It was never on my radar

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Speaker 3: from a calendar point of view because we'd always playing

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Speaker 3: Easter Friday. It was just another week. And I think

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Speaker 3: for me being able to actually amalgamate back into society

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Speaker 3: where you have these five weeks or five days two

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Speaker 3: days off has been really really great because whilst the

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Speaker 3: working environment for me is different to most, I would

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Speaker 3: say I have some flexibility in terms of my work.

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Speaker 4: I still do work quite a few weekends.

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Speaker 3: I still have that ability haspend for the vast majority

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Speaker 3: of the year Sundays with my family, to plan ahead

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Speaker 3: knowing that the weekends will be my own and that

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Speaker 3: I can actually choose what I'm doing on them, as

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Speaker 3: opposed to what previously was, Hey, you need to be

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Speaker 3: here Friday, here, Saturday, here, Sunday.

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Speaker 4: These are the times. These are expectations and you.

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Speaker 3: Don't ever get that reprieve of, you know, just that

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Speaker 3: stop gap in a year which we all need. Rights

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Speaker 3: like the little breaks that we get give us the

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Speaker 3: vitality boost, I suppose, if used correctly, to to take

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Speaker 3: on the stresses and challenges that the year accumulates for us.

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Speaker 3: So I think that's been the most significant difference for me,

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Speaker 3: and just becoming part of normal society, I suppose at

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Speaker 3: the last couple of years.

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Speaker 1: I think it's interesting how it's easy to take weekends

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Speaker 1: for granted.

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Speaker 2: It's funny.

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Speaker 1: A few months ago one of my good friends had

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Speaker 1: a complete career change and became a real estate agent,

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Speaker 1: and now she works every single weekend, and it's funny.

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Speaker 1: I find myself waking up on Saturday or doing something

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Speaker 1: on Saturday morning, and I always think about her, and

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Speaker 1: it makes me feel really grateful that I've actually got

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Speaker 1: the weekend to myself.

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Speaker 2: So I'm curious, how do you now, with this really big.

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Speaker 1: Change where weekends are your own, how do you make

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Speaker 1: the most of that or how do you not just

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Speaker 1: start to take it for granted like a lot of

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Speaker 1: people do.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's different when you have children. I mean,

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Speaker 3: my first was born just over a year ago. Omanie

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Speaker 3: and I think for us, in the initial probably ten months,

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Speaker 3: we didn't require any significant events to keep her stimulated.

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Speaker 3: I mean, she was basically just wanted to hang out

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Speaker 3: with us and she wasn't walking yet. Within the last

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Speaker 3: few weeks, she's really well, probably the last month or

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Speaker 3: two now, she's really ramped up in her requirement for

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Speaker 3: engagement all the time. And by that I mean that,

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Speaker 3: you know, we feel like she's at the age where

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Speaker 3: she needs to get out and see stuff, and so

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Speaker 3: Anna and I we've made a distinct effort to try

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Speaker 3: and bring her to different things. And when she went

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Speaker 3: to the zoo for the first time, the aquarium was

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Speaker 3: on the cards. I think we've spoken recently about some

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Speaker 3: of the petting zoos around and you know, if it's

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Speaker 3: not that it's going to the South Melbourne market or

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Speaker 3: it's going out and spending some time at the local parks,

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Speaker 3: it's just stuff where we feel like we want her

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Speaker 3: to see the world, or see as much of our

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Speaker 3: world as she can. And the other thing selfishly from

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Speaker 3: Anna and I as part is there's a lot of

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Speaker 3: things in Melbourne that we would never have done together

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Speaker 3: without children. And so it's this sort of double edged

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Speaker 3: sword where we can capitalize on the fact that we

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Speaker 3: have now a reason to go out and see all

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Speaker 3: of Melbourne what it has to offer, and of course

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Speaker 3: different parts of Australia and the world in good time.

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Speaker 3: And I think for me that's what capitalizing on it

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Speaker 3: looks like, because you know previously, one of the things

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Speaker 3: that you get told or I was told, I suppose.

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Speaker 4: As an athlete is one of the most difficult things.

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Speaker 3: For spouses and partners of professional athletes is what they

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Speaker 3: see when an athlete's lying on the couch is someone

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Speaker 3: lying on the couch, But that's not what they're doing.

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Speaker 3: They're actually still recovering or working or trying to boost

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Speaker 3: their energy because they've got to go out and play.

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Speaker 4: A fifteen kilometer game the next day.

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Speaker 3: But I think for me, now that I am truly

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Speaker 3: part of society in a more regular way, I would say,

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Speaker 3: not completely normal, but close enough, it's important that now

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Speaker 3: we can live on even terms and not have to

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Speaker 3: make all these concessions based on my needs and my

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Speaker 3: works needs.

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Speaker 4: In particular.

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Speaker 1: Are there daily rituals that you have in place, And

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Speaker 1: I know that this can be really hard, particularly when

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Speaker 1: you've got such a young child as part of your

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Speaker 1: family now. But is there anything you do on a

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Speaker 1: daily or almost daily basis that has a really big

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Speaker 1: improvement for your own health and well being?

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think from a philosophy point of view, I get

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Speaker 3: asked this question all the time, and I think, you know,

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Speaker 3: one of the things that a lot of people need

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Speaker 3: is structure, right, and they need that routine.

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Speaker 4: I probably have had more routine than possibly healthy over.

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Speaker 3: The course of my twenty three years leading up until

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Speaker 3: my retirement in twenty nineteen, not to say that I

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Speaker 3: still don't have some routine, but I think one of

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Speaker 3: the things that you work out when you leave the

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Speaker 3: game of AFL football is that for the first time.

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Speaker 4: In your life, you have true choice where you spend

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Speaker 4: your time on what you do with it.

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Speaker 3: And I think that it made such a big difference

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Speaker 3: to me to have that freedom to actually choose, and that,

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Speaker 3: in a way is lightness and sort of freshness in

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Speaker 3: my life on its own. And I think from a

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Speaker 3: practical point of view, to answer them sort of specific question,

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Speaker 3: I think just spending time with my daughter in the

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Speaker 3: mornings is the best way that I can possibly start

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Speaker 3: the day, whether it be you know, we'll put some

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Speaker 3: David Attenborough the TV, or will go down and I'll

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Speaker 3: wake her up in the morning because she's actually a

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Speaker 3: really good sleeper. Apologies to all the parents of poor

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Speaker 3: sleepers out there, We've got a good one.

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Speaker 4: Sorry, And so yeah, just spending some.

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Speaker 3: Time feeding her breakfast with my wife and going up

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Speaker 3: and walking up and getting a coffee or whatever it

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Speaker 3: may be before work, I think is just the perfect

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Speaker 3: way for me to ground myself before I start the day,

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Speaker 3: and then on the actual mental health and well being side.

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Speaker 3: What I've found is as a really interesting development I

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Speaker 3: suppose in my overall resilience toolkit is that whilst there

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Speaker 3: is a toolkit to say, most of the improvements I

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Speaker 3: would say that I have in my mental health compared

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Speaker 3: to how I dealt with it when I was younger

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Speaker 3: is just the ability to take control over my mindset

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Speaker 3: to the day. And I think partially that comes from

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Speaker 3: an understanding of being where I was. Where I was

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Speaker 3: just such in a dire place and always felt like

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Speaker 3: the next day would be worse than the one I

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Speaker 3: was living currently, whereas now I'm much more in the

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Speaker 3: breath of if a bad morning occurs, then I'm not

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Speaker 3: letting it become.

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Speaker 4: A bad day, and likewise a bad day not become

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Speaker 4: a bad week.

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Speaker 3: And there's mechanisms and leaders I can pull to make

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Speaker 3: sure I accomplish that, but it's more so for me

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Speaker 3: just the mindset that I'm not going back to where

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Speaker 3: I was, and whatever it takes to make sure that's

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Speaker 3: the case, I think is certainly the way I approach

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Speaker 3: it at the moment.

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Speaker 2: What's something unusual that you do to feel happier?

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Speaker 4: Something unusual? I'm quite a big.

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Speaker 3: I'm quite a big listener of lighthearted podcasts of the like.

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Speaker 3: And I think, you know, in one way, shape or form,

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Speaker 3: you could imagine a world where you listen to comedians

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Speaker 3: or knuckle heads talking about sports and you're wasting your time.

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Speaker 3: And the only reason I disagree with that is, you know,

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Speaker 3: my job, in large part is being a communicator. I mean,

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Speaker 3: I do a lot of speaking publicly, I do my

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Speaker 3: own podcasting, I do.

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Speaker 4: Much presenting in my regular job.

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Speaker 3: I do basically everything is evolved around my ability to

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Speaker 3: connect with others.

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Speaker 4: And to tell stories in one way, shape or form, And.

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Speaker 3: I think they're listening to people who are passionate about

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Speaker 3: things and enthusiastic and also do that for a living.

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Speaker 3: It's actually been a really great way for me to

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Speaker 3: disconnect from stress whilst I'm trying to accomplish perhaps little

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Speaker 3: things around the house or whatever it may be. But

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Speaker 3: at the same time, I think by way of osmosis,

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Speaker 3: there's a.

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Speaker 4: Natural learning that occurs for me in that.

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Speaker 3: So I don't know if that's that strange or weird,

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Speaker 3: but yeah, I probably do it a lot more than

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Speaker 3: most people do.

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Speaker 1: I would say, what do your go to podcasts for

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Speaker 1: getting in that headspace?

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Speaker 2: If you like?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well, so the one I listened to regularly most

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Speaker 3: regularly would be the Pat McAfee Show, which is basically

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Speaker 3: a daily sports show around the NFL football in America,

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Speaker 3: but they sort of cover off all of the big

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Speaker 3: sports over there, and they are what you could quintessentially

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Speaker 3: describe as a bunch of knuckleheads. Yeah, very lighthearted, go

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Speaker 3: and take themselves too seriously. It's not too structure of

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Speaker 3: a show, and of course there's heaps of content.

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Speaker 4: As they do it every day.

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Speaker 3: So I really like those guys because there's an element

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Speaker 3: of me that you know, on a sort of surface level,

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Speaker 3: can see there.

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Speaker 4: You know, these guys are just having a good time.

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Speaker 4: It looks really easy.

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Speaker 3: But then I think, given the professional lens that I

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Speaker 3: sort of take to it, I can see the real

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Speaker 3: talent that they have to maintain conversation, to keep things

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Speaker 3: light harder, to keep a conversation moving, and to present

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Speaker 3: and talk to some of the biggest guests in the world.

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Speaker 3: And I think that for me is a real sort

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Speaker 3: of underlying value that I find.

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Speaker 1: We will be back with Tom soon talking about a

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Speaker 1: piece of advice that he received that immeasurably improved his life.

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Speaker 1: If you're looking for more tips to improve the way

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Speaker 1: you live, I write a short fortnightly newsletter that contains

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Speaker 1: three cool things that I've discovered that help make my

340
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Speaker 1: life better in some way. You can sign up for

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Speaker 1: that at how I Work dot co. That's how I

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Speaker 1: Work dot Co. Now, Tom, I'm wondering, what's a piece

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Speaker 1: of advice that you have received and applied that has

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Speaker 1: immeasurably improved your life.

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Speaker 3: When I was coming towards the end of my career,

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Speaker 3: it was twenty eighteen. I'd moved on for many of

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Speaker 3: the issues I faced the year before. I put some

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Speaker 3: things in place. I felt like I was in a

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Speaker 3: really good spot, to be totally honest, and I remember

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Speaker 3: I was sort of hit on the sidelines with a

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Speaker 3: bad back injury and sort of got to the point

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Speaker 3: where it was just not moving forward, and I was

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Speaker 3: starting to really try and reconcile in my mind what

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Speaker 3: I wanted to do moving forward with my future. I

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Speaker 3: still had two and a half years in my contract,

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Speaker 3: I still had over two million dollars left on it.

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Speaker 3: There was all these things that sort of indicated that

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Speaker 3: it was an obvious decision to stay. But for whatever reason,

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Speaker 3: I had an inkling that you know, I'd had these

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Speaker 3: conversations with myself for a while and it was getting

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Speaker 3: close where it felt like the right call to move on.

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Speaker 3: And I remember talking to the club doctor at the time,

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Speaker 3: Gary Zimmerman, and you know, I made mention to him

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Speaker 3: at GAZ, I don't think I want to do this anymore.

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Speaker 3: I think I'm going to retire, and he looked at

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Speaker 3: me like I was crazy. But the advice that followed

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Speaker 3: from him was really really important. And that advice was

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Speaker 3: that he said to me, he said, Tommy, I've seen

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Speaker 3: too many players rehabilitating injuries make rash decisions, change their

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Speaker 3: life and invariably end up regretting it forever. And I

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Speaker 3: think what that really gets to is this concept that

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Speaker 3: making life changing decisions when we're happy, mad or angry

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Speaker 3: or sad or angry, I should say, is a sort

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Speaker 3: of futile effort, given that we're not in the frame

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Speaker 3: of mind to think long term.

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Speaker 4: We're thinking laterally.

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Speaker 3: We're trying to sort of find our way through the

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Speaker 3: muck that perhaps we're stuck in at that time, or

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Speaker 3: perhaps we're standing on the mountaintop going everything's clear skies

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Speaker 3: and clear, clear sailing your head. So for him, he

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Speaker 3: said to me, just do this for me, come back

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Speaker 3: and play foot. He get back to being fit, get

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Speaker 3: back to being capable of going out there, and if

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Speaker 3: you still want to do it, then.

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Speaker 4: You'll have my blessing.

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Speaker 3: And of course I didn't have to listen to him,

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Speaker 3: but it made a lot of logical sense to me,

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Speaker 3: and I think for me, that's an outstanding piece of

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Speaker 3: advice for everyone, and that is just, you know, find

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Speaker 3: your equilibrium before you change everything, because we can be

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Speaker 3: rash at times as humans.

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Speaker 1: I love that when you made the decision to retire

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Speaker 1: from AFL. Did you know exactly what you would do

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Speaker 1: for work in inverted commas when you made that decision?

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Speaker 4: Absolutely not. I had a sense.

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Speaker 3: I had a sense that there was some opportunities on

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Speaker 3: the horizon. I didn't know what they would be, and

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Speaker 3: to be frank, you know, I probably spent six or

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Speaker 3: seven months working through a number of different options, one

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Speaker 3: of which was basically, you know, going down the path

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Speaker 3: of speaking and publicly being able to share my message

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Speaker 3: and also finding the right organization to be a part of.

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Speaker 4: But I didn't want to rush it.

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Speaker 3: And again this is very much circumstantial based on the

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Speaker 3: fact that I owned a lot of as a really

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Speaker 3: young person, and that gave me the advantage and the

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Speaker 3: sort of ability to make slower decisions than many people face.

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Speaker 3: So I totally understand that. That's why I'm sort of

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Speaker 3: quite quite keen to give the provision of make decisions

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Speaker 3: based on finances as well as purpose. But what I

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Speaker 3: did know was that people were interested in what I

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Speaker 3: had to say, and I began to go down that path,

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Speaker 3: and unfortunately what I ran into was it takes six

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Speaker 3: to eight months or whatever it did to prepare myself

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Speaker 3: for a strong year in twenty twenty, and then that

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Speaker 3: whole sneaky pandemic came up on us and all of

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Speaker 3: that work disappeared. But what the really great thing about

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Speaker 3: the pandemic was for me was that it forced me

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Speaker 3: to really consider what I wanted to do. And in

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Speaker 3: that time, what I recognized was two things. One, I

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Speaker 3: wasn't fully fully done with the life that I just

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Speaker 3: led in my football career, and that I actually wanted

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Speaker 3: to write about it, and I wanted to sort of

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Speaker 3: tie in a bow and put it out as.

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Speaker 4: The book knowa to hide.

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Speaker 3: And that was really important forming mentally, because it's a

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Speaker 3: very difficult task writing a book from my experience. And

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Speaker 3: the other one was that I recognized that for the

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Speaker 3: first time in my life as a twenty three year

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Speaker 3: old going on twenty four, was I didn't have a

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Speaker 3: team around me, and I didn't have anyone to turn

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Speaker 3: to on a daily basis. I could call my dad,

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Speaker 3: I could call my manager, but they weren't living with me,

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Speaker 3: they weren't working with me. They were support staff or

435
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Speaker 3: support networks rather than people that were on the ground

436
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Speaker 3: and dealing with my day to day. And actually that's

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Speaker 3: where I began to sort of reach out and start

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Speaker 3: looking at what a flexible arrangement of work could be

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Speaker 3: for me, where I could contribute to a team that

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Speaker 3: I respected and cared about on a mission that I

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Speaker 3: believed in. And that's where I found ever perform, which

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Speaker 3: is the business that I work three days a week

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Speaker 3: four now. So you know, amongst all of the challenges

444
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 3: the pandemic presented, I think, you know, if there's one

445
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,520
Speaker 3: thing I'm proud of in terms of my experience, was

446
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:52,480
Speaker 3: that I just made it work and I found a

447
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,560
Speaker 3: way to actually take the good parts out of it

448
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:57,520
Speaker 3: amongst all of the sea of negatives.

449
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,919
Speaker 1: We've talked about advice that you've received, I'm curious what

450
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,919
Speaker 1: piece of advice do you find yourself giving to people

451
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:04,760
Speaker 1: most frequently.

452
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,520
Speaker 3: I think the one that probably stands out to me

453
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:10,919
Speaker 3: is what I find with XAFL players in particular, is

454
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,640
Speaker 3: they really struggle to understand their worth and what can

455
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 3: contribution and value that they can provide to the next

456
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,399
Speaker 3: stage of their life. And I think that the reason

457
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:22,359
Speaker 3: for that is varied, but I'll try and summarize at

458
00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:25,760
Speaker 3: the best I can, which is, for the first time

459
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:28,120
Speaker 3: in anyone's life, when they get delisted from the AFL.

460
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,920
Speaker 3: It is almost exclusively the first time that they've been

461
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,439
Speaker 3: told that they're not good enough. They've been trying to

462
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:37,680
Speaker 3: play AFI football presumably for the vast majority of their life.

463
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:40,280
Speaker 4: They've worked their absolute butt off to get there.

464
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,480
Speaker 3: They've been the best player in every team to get

465
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,920
Speaker 3: to the point where they're nar at, and now they're

466
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:49,400
Speaker 3: being told that the dream's over. Bad luck, pack your bag,

467
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:53,400
Speaker 3: see you later. And that's really really a massive hit

468
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:56,920
Speaker 3: to the ego, a huge hit to people's self talk

469
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:58,640
Speaker 3: and self work and all of those sorts of things

470
00:21:58,680 --> 00:21:59,080
Speaker 3: as well.

471
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:00,720
Speaker 4: And that's one reason.

472
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 3: The other reason I think is that people are inherently

473
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,439
Speaker 3: told in AFL that you bring the skills that you

474
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 3: learn within the league, things that most people would kill for, basically,

475
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:15,400
Speaker 3: which is ability to deal with pressure, high performance teams,

476
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:20,159
Speaker 3: feedback driven culture, connecting with people for more walks of life,

477
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:24,879
Speaker 3: being disciplined, professional expectation, accountability, responsibility, every value you've ever

478
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 3: seen on a corporate boardsheet, which I imagine you've seen

479
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:30,119
Speaker 3: quite a few over your yes. AFL football provides that

480
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,960
Speaker 3: for people who are willing to learn the problem is

481
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 3: that so many players struggle to translate that to reality

482
00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 3: like the what is the what is the outcome that

483
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,520
Speaker 3: is connected with the values and the skills and the

484
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:45,400
Speaker 3: capability that I've learned rather than just having them, which

485
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:47,840
Speaker 3: I could only imply in a very small specific niche

486
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:50,159
Speaker 3: to main like football, How do I provide it and

487
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:53,399
Speaker 3: complete it elsewhere? And so when I talk to these players,

488
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 3: I try and explain to that you know, they've got

489
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,600
Speaker 3: so much to offer, is essentially the piece of advice

490
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,920
Speaker 3: that I have, and don't sell yourself short and don't

491
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,560
Speaker 3: accept the crappy role and you know, sprint down to

492
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,479
Speaker 3: play footy because there's quick money there.

493
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 4: Make a smart and.

494
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 3: Calculated decision because it's the first day of the rest

495
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:16,080
Speaker 3: of your working life and easier said than done. But

496
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,439
Speaker 3: it's certainly something that I've just seen. AFL players have

497
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 3: characteristics that are so sought after in the corporate landscape

498
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:27,680
Speaker 3: and so rare to find in that environment that I just, yeah,

499
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,159
Speaker 3: I think they could offer so much value given the

500
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,560
Speaker 3: time to learn and catch up.

501
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 1: A love of your career has been requiring you to

502
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 1: get in the zone to perform, and I imagine that

503
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 1: there would have been numerous times where you were not

504
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 1: feeling it and certainly you know you've spoken publicly about

505
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:49,640
Speaker 1: a lot of those times. But I'm curious, you know, nowadays,

506
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 1: when you need to perform, and you know, maybe it's

507
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,399
Speaker 1: for a keynote speech or something like that, what is

508
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 1: a fail safe way that you use to get in

509
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 1: that signe.

510
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 3: So yesterday morning I had to get to Tasmania to

511
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:09,159
Speaker 3: do a kigover in Hobart, and I hadn't slept that well,

512
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 3: and I knew it was a big thing, and it

513
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 3: had a crazy week of travel last week, and so

514
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:17,199
Speaker 3: I've just this fatigue level was building up, and so

515
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 3: I knew that yesterday morning, before my pretty early flight,

516
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,480
Speaker 3: I need to go out, go for a run in

517
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:26,680
Speaker 3: the cold and the rain, not far, a couple of k's,

518
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:30,679
Speaker 3: get my breathing going, do all of that before I

519
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:32,199
Speaker 3: bought a coffee, because I knew if I got up

520
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,399
Speaker 3: straight away and humanman talks about this, actually I know

521
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:36,480
Speaker 3: you mentioned it earlier. You have a coffee straight away,

522
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 3: it just sort of, you know, just makes the anxiety

523
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:42,000
Speaker 3: levels accelerate based on the chemical process.

524
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 4: Going on in your body.

525
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,560
Speaker 3: So do the a little bit of running half an

526
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:46,639
Speaker 3: hour whatever it was, go for a bit of a walk,

527
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:48,679
Speaker 3: have a shower, I walk up, get a coffee, just

528
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 3: bring myself the life before before. My wife got out

529
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:54,720
Speaker 3: a bit and that's all I needed for the day.

530
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 3: That was it, because I can manage everything else. It's

531
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,640
Speaker 3: just if I can't get on top of things early,

532
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,160
Speaker 3: then I flight. I know, a flight just makes me slightly.

533
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,480
Speaker 3: You know, your body doesn't function probably at thirty thousand feet.

534
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,560
Speaker 3: And then the second one was got home quite late

535
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 3: last night. I had to be up at five point

536
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,159
Speaker 3: thirty four six o'clock for this breakfast event that I

537
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:18,359
Speaker 3: had this morning. Great, same problem. So this morning I

538
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 3: knew I did't enough time to go for a run,

539
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 3: but I'll get out, I'll put the clothes on, go

540
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 3: for a walk, just wake myself up. Do something that

541
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 3: just provided me with some physical utility for the day.

542
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:32,680
Speaker 3: And both of those times, it just at least gives

543
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 3: me the like I know, I can put myself into

544
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:36,680
Speaker 3: the zone to be honest with you in any which way,

545
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,679
Speaker 3: shape or form. Like there's moments when I've had to

546
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:40,680
Speaker 3: do it and I didn't have the liberty of using

547
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 3: tools like that I just described. But if I do

548
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,880
Speaker 3: have the time, it just gives me this additional level

549
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 3: of confidence that everything's going to be okay and I

550
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,919
Speaker 3: can work it out. So that would be the case now,

551
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 3: which is really funny because it's probably again one of

552
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:56,880
Speaker 3: those things that's lingering based on my football experience where

553
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,960
Speaker 3: exercise is part of the zone, not just in preparation

554
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:00,399
Speaker 3: for it.

555
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:01,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, what would that.

556
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 1: Look like back when you were playing AFL sort of

557
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 1: like the half an hour in the lead up to

558
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:09,960
Speaker 1: the match?

559
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 2: What would you be doing in that time?

560
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 3: So telling you the half an hour probably won't make

561
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:18,440
Speaker 3: as much sense as telling you the two and a

562
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 3: half hours. So basically two and a half hours before

563
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 3: a game, your arrived first session is strapping all of

564
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 3: your broken fingers or broken ankles or shoulders or whatever

565
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 3: you've got, all of which I had at different times,

566
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 3: and even at the same time. You tend to all

567
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,439
Speaker 3: of those, prepare them for a game, get dressed to

568
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,000
Speaker 3: probably go out and have a look at the ground,

569
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:38,560
Speaker 3: walk around, sort of get a feel for the conditions,

570
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 3: whether you're inside at Marvel or outside elsewhere. Then you

571
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 3: come back in you probably have a coach's address for

572
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 3: twenty minutes about the game and preparation and plans and

573
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 3: reminders and all that sort of stuff. Then you're out

574
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 3: for a first warm up stretching, mobility, ball handling, then

575
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,440
Speaker 3: you're out for the main warm up, then you're back.

576
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:02,919
Speaker 3: Then it's a pre game stretch like it's overwhelming, and

577
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,440
Speaker 3: it's basically all like a ramp up until that.

578
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 4: First siren bounces. So I'm never doing that again. That

579
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:09,920
Speaker 4: was just too much.

580
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:13,199
Speaker 3: There's the most anxiety inducing activity because the problem is,

581
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:13,920
Speaker 3: like you're sitting there.

582
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 4: At least I was, I've about everyone else.

583
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 3: But if you're sitting there stressing about your performance, and

584
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:20,480
Speaker 3: you know you're worrying about how I got the physical

585
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 3: capability and X factor that I need to have this

586
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:26,119
Speaker 3: great game today, and you get more and more tired

587
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 3: because you're mentally stressing and physically you're getting run through

588
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:31,680
Speaker 3: the ringer in preparation for these games.

589
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:33,920
Speaker 4: And I never really felt that, like I didn't need

590
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 4: to warm.

591
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:36,360
Speaker 3: Up as much as some other players perhaps had soft

592
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:40,640
Speaker 3: tissue issues and anyway, it was a very challenging time.

593
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 3: But a short, calm, concise run before an important meeting

594
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:49,119
Speaker 3: or important session.

595
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:49,639
Speaker 4: Now is enough for me.

596
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,120
Speaker 1: Now, Tom, if I gifted you a plaque to put

597
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:56,119
Speaker 1: on your wall, so something you like to constantly be

598
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:59,160
Speaker 1: reminded of. What would you want that plaque to say?

599
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 3: I think I don't know what it would be exactly.

600
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 3: I think it's probably something to do with just remembering

601
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 3: why we do what we do, because I think there's

602
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 3: always an element.

603
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:09,919
Speaker 4: And I don't know about you.

604
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,920
Speaker 3: I imagine you're busy, just judging by our conversation so far,

605
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:15,920
Speaker 3: I'm busy. You know, I work two or three jobs,

606
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 3: but inmbassadorships and writing and speaking and working and parenting

607
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 3: and husbanding and all that sort of stuff. I think

608
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,359
Speaker 3: at times the wood for the tree's analogy makes a

609
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:28,639
Speaker 3: lot of sense where it's very difficult to pull yourself,

610
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 3: you know, up to the high level the bird's eye

611
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,439
Speaker 3: view and say, Okay, that's why I'm doing all of

612
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 3: these things which I in isolation love, but in culmination

613
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 3: are like overwhelming or always fall at the wrong times,

614
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 3: or always got issues, or you're always fixing stuff. And

615
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 3: I think for me, knowing that you know one, for

616
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 3: a purely professional point of view, I am. I believe

617
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 3: in what I'm doing. I believe in what I'm doing

618
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 3: is making a positive impact, and I believe in the cause.

619
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:56,480
Speaker 4: If you will. But equally, you.

620
00:28:56,440 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 3: Know, on a personal note, the commercial out and the

621
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 3: legacy outcomes that I'm building for my daughter and my

622
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 3: family and all of the people that have cared about

623
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:08,680
Speaker 3: me and I care about as well. So I think

624
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 3: it'd be something about that and just being able to

625
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 3: sort of remind yourself of a high.

626
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 1: Level of view for people that want to connect with you.

627
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,120
Speaker 1: What is the best way to do that.

628
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:22,960
Speaker 3: LinkedIn is a wonderful world. I mean, it's probably the easiest. Yeah,

629
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm on Instagram and on LinkedIn. I'm not

630
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:28,840
Speaker 3: particularly active on the other social media's anymore. I think

631
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 3: you know, my book is out there, and if you

632
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 3: want to connect with who I actually am without needing

633
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 3: to do it socially, know Where to Hide is on all.

634
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 4: Good bookstores, they tell me. I don't know what that means, but.

635
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 3: It's been an overwhelmingly positive response to that book and

636
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 3: I can't be more thankful for it. And otherwise, yeah,

637
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,840
Speaker 3: I'm always doing something, So reach out with her whatever

638
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 3: means you like, and I'm sure that I'll be able

639
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,360
Speaker 3: to connect with some great people over this over this time.

640
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 1: Amazing Tom, It's been so great getting the chance to chat.

641
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:04,960
Speaker 1: I find your story and your journey thus far incredibly inspiring,

642
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 1: so thank you for choosing to share the last little

643
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 1: bit of time with me.

644
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:10,719
Speaker 4: Thanks so much for having me.

645
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed my chat with Tom and got

646
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 1: some practical strategies for maybe taking a different approach to

647
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 1: how you think about your physical and mental health.

648
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:26,200
Speaker 2: And if you know someone that might find this episode useful,

649
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 2: why not.

650
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 1: Share it with them via whatever app you're listening to

651
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 1: this on your phone. Thank you so much for sharing

652
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 1: part of your day with me by listening to How

653
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 1: I Live.

654
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 2: If you're keen for more tips on how to.

655
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 1: Work better and live better, connect with me on LinkedIn

656
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 1: or Instagram to search for Amantha Imba. How I Lived

657
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 1: was recorded on the traditional land of the Warrangery people,

658
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 1: part of the Cool And Nation. I'm so grateful for

659
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 1: being able to work and live on this beautiful land,

660
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 1: and I want to pay my respects to Elder's past,

661
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 1: present and emerging. I Live is produced by Inventium with

662
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 1: production support from Dead Set Studios. The producer for this

663
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 1: episode was Liam Reardon and sound engineering was done by

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00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:08,880
Speaker 1: Martin Imbach.