Speaker 1: Hi Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist and listen
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Speaker 2: Good pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn. Baby or
Speaker 2: what our windows down? That's my worries in the dust?
Speaker 2: Only good fabs dog all down.
Speaker 3: I've done much but yeah, I know I'll big get.
Speaker 4: And what I want.
Speaker 2: It don't matter where that gone. This is the pickup.
Speaker 1: Happy Monday, everybody, Well, Monday afternoon.
Speaker 2: It's the pick up with Britt Hockey and Laura Burn.
Speaker 5: Monday afternoon is still a Monday, Laura, No, but I
Speaker 5: don't think you can say happy Monday in the afternoon
Speaker 5: because everyone's already done it in the morning.
Speaker 1: But but surely by midday people like, shut up, it's Monday.
Speaker 1: We've got the rest of the week to go.
Speaker 5: It's happier now because they've just checked out of work,
Speaker 5: like people on the way home. They're going to pick
Speaker 5: their kids up.
Speaker 2: That's happy. Thanks Britt, you're the one that brought them down.
Speaker 5: Happy Monday everyone, Hey, you know what's happy? This is
Speaker 5: so cute. So my sister Sherry has been living in
Speaker 5: Scotland for the better part of two years, but over
Speaker 5: two years, and she recently, in the last two weeks,
Speaker 5: moved home and she's got her little daughter, Maya, who
Speaker 5: is about eight months old, and her and Ben spend
Speaker 5: a lot of time together overseas because my fiancee, Ben
Speaker 5: also lives overseas.
Speaker 2: So long story.
Speaker 5: Short, Ben and Maya FaceTime like a lot.
Speaker 2: That's how they say contact, which is funny because it's
Speaker 2: very sweet. There's not a lot of contact between eight
Speaker 2: months old. I wonder who's doing the calling. Maya calls
Speaker 2: him in the morning. No, she's really clocked inner. Isn't
Speaker 2: she really smart for her age.
Speaker 5: Just yesterday he taught her how to stick her tongue out,
Speaker 5: like just just by face time, like he'll make face that.
Speaker 2: He kept sticking the tongue out, and then she started
Speaker 2: to copy him.
Speaker 5: She has stuck her tongue out.
Speaker 2: Now she's like a lizard.
Speaker 5: For the last probably thirty five hours, every ten seconds,
Speaker 5: the tongue.
Speaker 2: Now it's just going around. It's just like flicking out,
Speaker 2: flicking out.
Speaker 1: Because whenever they learn a new trick, then they just
Speaker 1: do it on repeat. I remember when when Marley learned shockface,
Speaker 1: so we'd say shop face and she and she'd do
Speaker 1: it anywhere didn't matter what we were doing.
Speaker 2: You say shock face, and it was it would never
Speaker 2: get old.
Speaker 5: It's like she just found the tongue, so now it's
Speaker 5: all she She just won't keep in her mouth anymore.
Speaker 5: It's very, very all right question, Laura. I'm getting married
Speaker 5: pretty soon. My fiance Ben and I have very different
Speaker 5: ideas on how we like each other's hair basically, so like,
Speaker 5: he doesn't like my hair short, he doesn't like me
Speaker 5: with a fringe. I hate his hair with short back
Speaker 5: and sides.
Speaker 1: You guys have a lot to say on each other's
Speaker 1: personal grooming preferences.
Speaker 2: Well, this is my husband cares about as if I've
Speaker 2: showered or not. Yeah, because I do. I do, just
Speaker 2: not enough for him.
Speaker 5: So I Ben's hair right, my fiancees hair, he really
Speaker 5: likes to have. It's like a European style. He's really
Speaker 5: big on the short back in sides. He loves to
Speaker 5: keep it really really short, and I think he looks
Speaker 5: really handsome with a little bit longer hair. I don't
Speaker 5: like when you can see the scalp of the white
Speaker 5: scalp through the hair, and that's how short he has it, right,
Speaker 5: And I have been begging him since I have met him,
Speaker 5: I'm like, just keep it a tiny bit longer. I'm talking,
Speaker 5: this kid gets his hair cut once a week.
Speaker 2: The groomy that he very aggressive. That's an aggressive amount
Speaker 2: of hair cutting. Also seems expensive.
Speaker 5: Well, he says that he has really fast growing hair,
Speaker 5: and I was like, I don't think further that is true.
Speaker 5: So I've been begging him since I've met him to
Speaker 5: just grow it a little bit longer because it's my preference.
Speaker 5: But now we're coming to crunch time, like the wedding
Speaker 5: is coming up, and we've started to get into a
Speaker 5: bit of an argument. Because I thought that come like
Speaker 5: the quote unquote biggest day of our life, when we
Speaker 5: have to stand up at the altar half a meter apart,
Speaker 5: holding hands, looking into each other's eyes, professing our love
Speaker 5: and saying that like you're the person I want to
Speaker 5: be with the rest of my life. I thought he
Speaker 5: would give a little bit and have the hairstyle that
Speaker 5: I want. And he has said We've had this huge
Speaker 5: fight today and he has said that he absolutely will
Speaker 5: not throw his hair. Do you think I am being
Speaker 5: the ahole for like asking.
Speaker 2: A couple of meals? I do?
Speaker 1: However, I all I so remember about eight months ago
Speaker 1: when you had ready orange hair and Ben's first reaction was,
Speaker 1: please don't have that color hair for the wedding. He
Speaker 1: loved it, but he didn't want it for the wedding.
Speaker 1: So why was my response, Laura, Well, I think it
Speaker 1: takes two to tango. If he's going to give some
Speaker 1: sort of like preference on how you look at the wedding,
Speaker 1: then I think you can do the same. But I
Speaker 1: would like it to be known that I think it's
Speaker 1: weird that either of you are giving preferences about how
Speaker 1: you should look at the wedding.
Speaker 5: But then my response to that was, of course, love
Speaker 5: however you want to look, go into the hair dresser
Speaker 5: this afternoon, no doubt you know I love the hairdresser.
Speaker 1: I I don't want to be in the middle of
Speaker 1: your argument.
Speaker 2: If you want my real opinion.
Speaker 5: It's not like I'm demanding it, But I don't think
Speaker 5: it's unreasonable to like talk to your partner and say, like,
Speaker 5: you don't have to do what someone has said, right,
Speaker 5: But if somebody has a preference on something, when it's
Speaker 5: the difference between a tiny little bit more hair, like
Speaker 5: that's it. I'm like, I prefer to look at you
Speaker 5: with a bit more hair, like, can you do me?
Speaker 2: Because it when you have least time repulsed by you? Look,
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: It's weird to me that you guys have argued about this.
Speaker 1: But I do understand that there are definitely things that
Speaker 1: you might like in your partner more than other things.
Speaker 1: So for example, I love it where my husband has
Speaker 1: a hairy chest. Love a hairy chest. I think that
Speaker 1: that is that is peak Maddy Jay. When he has
Speaker 1: a full hairy chest, does he wax it? He clips
Speaker 1: it because he finds a hairy chest not very comfortable.
Speaker 2: He thinks it's to be itchy, so he often clips it.
Speaker 1: But then every so often we meet a compromise where
Speaker 1: he just lets it grow wild just for me, and
Speaker 1: then that will be like.
Speaker 2: Three weeks, and then he'll clip it again in a
Speaker 2: couple of months. He does it.
Speaker 1: He does it knowing, But like I think, you can
Speaker 1: have a preference and you're allowed to voice that, but
Speaker 1: you also should not care.
Speaker 2: That much if your partner doesn't do it. I don't know.
Speaker 5: I just I've got to look at these photos the
Speaker 5: rest of my life, like these are our wedding photos.
Speaker 5: They're probably gonna be blown up on my wall. I
Speaker 5: just want to froth it, like I want to look
Speaker 5: at him and be like yeah, like you know, no,
Speaker 5: I don't know. Well, I was hoping you lost me
Speaker 5: it froth sorry, guys. To be honest, I was hoping
Speaker 5: you'd be more on my side and that I could
Speaker 5: then send him.
Speaker 2: This radio break. That's what I was hoping would happen.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I think I'm gonna keep waning in. I did try
Speaker 5: to bribe him. I did say I will cut a
Speaker 5: fringe if he cuts his hair for the wedding because
Speaker 5: he doesn't.
Speaker 2: Like my fruit. Just go back to being orange.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, actually that's a good threat. If I went
Speaker 5: back to being orange, I reckon he grow it out?
Speaker 2: Good, got it? That's what I'm gonna do. All right,
Speaker 2: all of you guys.
Speaker 1: Now, today we are joined by five times Loki winner
Speaker 1: and one of Australia's most beloved actresses, Ashaketty. Now, if
Speaker 1: you haven't heard of Ashaketty, I'm sure you have. But
Speaker 1: Asha has a reputation of playing some incredibly complex and
Speaker 1: ladd strong female characters. You would probably know her best
Speaker 1: from her role in Offspring, but also one of my favorites,
Speaker 1: which was Nine Perfect Strangers, and she's now back as
Speaker 1: Evelyn Jones in season two of Strive.
Speaker 2: It's a brilliant chat.
Speaker 5: Take a listen. Now, you've been acting since you were
Speaker 5: a teenager, and I am going to say I was.
Speaker 2: I am a super fan.
Speaker 5: You're obviously a mum to two, You're very successful, You're
Speaker 5: still working a lot. Do you think you can have
Speaker 5: it all? Do you think you can do both concurrently
Speaker 5: or what do you think it takes to live that life.
Speaker 6: I just don't put that expectation on myself or any
Speaker 6: of the women or men in my life at all.
Speaker 6: I think it's completely elusive. I've said before I think
Speaker 6: that the notion is bullshit. I just don't get I
Speaker 6: don't understand the I'm sorry she'll reject your question in
Speaker 6: that way, but I suppose I feel strongly that you mean.
Speaker 5: Bullshit of the saying having it all is bullshit or what'shit.
Speaker 6: The notion that we can have it all and someone
Speaker 6: might be this extraordinary super human person to be able
Speaker 6: to balance all the bulls in the air all of
Speaker 6: the time, I think is crazy and it's a terrible expectation.
Speaker 6: That we place on ourselves and other people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and we look in, we look in from the
Speaker 1: outside and we go, well, that person's successful, they have
Speaker 1: a seemingly beautiful, happy family life. They must be doing
Speaker 1: it all all the same time. And I think it's
Speaker 1: an observation rather than a reality. But actually, something you
Speaker 1: said when you were describing strife, you said, like the
Speaker 1: mum guilt and you're like something that we just all
Speaker 1: we all experience and you kind of talking.
Speaker 2: About it from a character perspective.
Speaker 1: But then also that statement, even though it was just
Speaker 1: like a little bit like off the calf, it is
Speaker 1: the reality is, especially when you're when you're you know,
Speaker 1: a career driven person and you're also a mom at
Speaker 1: the same time, like those feelings, that duplicity.
Speaker 2: Happens and no one can escape it.
Speaker 6: No, Well, the kids are ever present, aren't they. I
Speaker 6: mean they are in my mind always. I was just
Speaker 6: doing an interview earlier this morning, and my little one
Speaker 6: val asked me if I had just wink just once
Speaker 6: in the ensuing the interview. True, And I this was
Speaker 6: last night before I got on the plane to come here,
Speaker 6: and I said, I'll try and remember daring the live
Speaker 6: television in the morning is very very fast, and I'm
Speaker 6: talking about strife and I may not be able to
Speaker 6: squeeze it in, but I'll try.
Speaker 2: And of course you get a wink. I know I forgot.
Speaker 2: Why don't you do it right now? We can send
Speaker 2: him the video. There you go, hi, baby.
Speaker 6: But I you know, they are ever present and this
Speaker 6: is just that pool all the time, and I love it,
Speaker 6: like I want it. I want to feel like that
Speaker 6: about the kids. But when you've got to focus, you know,
Speaker 6: on something that's really intense, like a particular day at
Speaker 6: work as an actor might be very intense and ask
Speaker 6: a lot psychologically, and but you're still trying to work
Speaker 6: out the soccer run that makes sure someone at home
Speaker 6: in there don't don't forget to pick them up and
Speaker 6: the you know. So that's the juggle, isn't it. And
Speaker 6: it's the same in any industry, I'm sure for any
Speaker 6: parent working.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's the thing that is beautifully relatable.
Speaker 1: You know, we're like even sitting here doing this all today,
Speaker 1: we were like, okay, we're back to back, but I
Speaker 1: have to leave it this time because I have to
Speaker 1: go and get the kids.
Speaker 2: So I was like, I might be walking out of
Speaker 2: the middle of an interview. Yeah that's today.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we're.
Speaker 2: Early in the day. But I said the same thing,
Speaker 2: and I was like, cool, you go and I'll just
Speaker 2: do it.
Speaker 5: Like I don't have kids, I've got nothing to run
Speaker 5: home too. So I was like, that's the balance, right,
Speaker 5: But it also takes I think, and I say this,
Speaker 5: looking at you, Laura with Matt and your kids, makes
Speaker 5: a partner that's also willing to make some sacrifices to
Speaker 5: allow you to go back to work again.
Speaker 1: It makes life a lot easier when you have a
Speaker 1: partner that shows up with parody and actually like does
Speaker 1: the parenting as well alongside you, and you're not left
Speaker 1: to do everything. I think for the people who have
Speaker 1: to experience that, that's a whole different ballgame. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I think that there isn't a woman out
Speaker 1: there who is juggling motherhood alongside a career that wouldn't
Speaker 1: relate to those feelings.
Speaker 2: Dyes, of course. Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you want to care, you want to put as
Speaker 6: much I mean, I want to invest as much time
Speaker 6: in all my relationships, whether they're personal or professional, including
Speaker 6: the children. It's not easy to do that and I
Speaker 6: don't know if it's possible.
Speaker 2: Now, Laura, we.
Speaker 5: All know that my wedding is impending.
Speaker 2: In the next.
Speaker 5: Marriage, I know it's so shocking. Wait, what am I
Speaker 5: going to talk about once I'm married?
Speaker 2: I don't know. Honestly, we're going to be content dry
Speaker 2: after that.
Speaker 5: Well, I was thinking, I am very lucky that I
Speaker 5: have someone very close to me that is like the
Speaker 5: mother source of long term relationship.
Speaker 2: But she's literally the mother sauce.
Speaker 5: She's my mole relationships, my source of nutrients in the womb,
Speaker 5: my mom, Nicky Hockley Mom.
Speaker 2: I have her on the.
Speaker 5: Line because I wanted to get some advice from her mom.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the pickup, Oh thank you. The reason why
Speaker 1: we say the mother source of all marital advice is
Speaker 1: because you've been married for forty eight years, nearly fifty years.
Speaker 4: It'd be too hard to start again now.
Speaker 1: Anyways, that's your advice, stick it out.
Speaker 4: Do you know what I think people are lying if
Speaker 4: they say everything's gone smoothly so that long, because it doesn't.
Speaker 1: Well, knowing that your little girl Britney is going to
Speaker 1: walk down the aisle soon, what would be if you
Speaker 1: could give some wedding advice or some marriage advice more
Speaker 1: than wedding advice.
Speaker 2: What would it look like?
Speaker 4: Well, look, I think sex, sex and sex is probably
Speaker 4: number one. I think every couple is different and every
Speaker 4: couple has their own unique way of making marriage works.
Speaker 4: But I guess the universal tip would be, you know,
Speaker 4: compromise a lot. I don't think there's any set rule
Speaker 4: for a successful marriage. I really don't. We're lucky, we
Speaker 4: get along really well. We always said we'd be best
Speaker 4: friends even if we didn't get married. Did you think
Speaker 4: that we're very lucky?
Speaker 5: Was there every time that you guys thought maybe the
Speaker 5: marriage was over for some reason?
Speaker 2: And I'm saying this based off like I wouldn't know.
Speaker 5: I've never seen you guys argue, but I imagine over
Speaker 5: fifty years there's got.
Speaker 4: To be points of there was a time. I think
Speaker 4: we both had our doubts. But you do have to
Speaker 4: work hard. You know that's an old expression as well,
Speaker 4: you have to work to make a marriage work, But
Speaker 4: you do, you have to work hard.
Speaker 1: I always find it like so like inspiring when couples
Speaker 1: can say, you know, it's spiraled right down to the
Speaker 1: bottom and then we spiraled back up, and look at
Speaker 1: us now, you know, fifty years on and still able
Speaker 1: to you know, stay able to love each other, not
Speaker 1: just be you know, co parenting or co living together, cohabitating,
Speaker 1: but really like having a fulfilling relationship. I think that's
Speaker 1: something that's very very inspirational.
Speaker 2: Also as an observer, I guess.
Speaker 4: We spiral down and we spiraled up, and it was
Speaker 4: so worth it. It was so worth working to spiral
Speaker 4: up and get to the top again.
Speaker 5: I do know that one thing that Dad said to
Speaker 5: me once was that some of the best times of
Speaker 5: your relationship came after the worst times, like after it
Speaker 5: was at the very bottom.
Speaker 2: He said, if we didn't stick.
Speaker 5: That out, we wouldn't have had the better parts that
Speaker 5: came later, which is I think.
Speaker 4: You're right, and that is very true. I'd agree with that.
Speaker 5: On a more superficial level, just as the observer, I'd
Speaker 5: probably say, like one of the keys your relationships was
Speaker 5: having your own living rooms because you watch your own
Speaker 5: TV shows, like they have two different TVs.
Speaker 2: Mum watches a British crime.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but we only do that now after children have gone.
Speaker 4: When they were little, when you were all little, we
Speaker 4: all the six of us that squashed up on one
Speaker 4: lounge and we're all made to watch something someone else
Speaker 4: wanted to watch. I mean, that's just a little thing,
Speaker 4: but it's true.
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 5: You can only hope have a long marriage like you
Speaker 5: and Dad had.
Speaker 4: Do you know what? Knowing Ben and knowing you, I
Speaker 4: think you have got it. Actually, you two. I really
Speaker 4: believe that.
Speaker 3: I do.
Speaker 5: That makes you want to cry because you're never emotional
Speaker 5: and you never say anything nice to me.
Speaker 4: Oh's ridiculous.
Speaker 5: It makes me emotional because genuinely you are.
Speaker 4: I genuinely believe that. I just think, as I said,
Speaker 4: knowing Ben and I know you, and I've seen you together,
Speaker 4: and I really believe you two are going to make it.
Speaker 4: I think you've got a lovely relationship.
Speaker 2: He's my squid, all right than you feel squid.
Speaker 4: I think that's all right. That's what was help for.
Speaker 2: Thanks, Thanks for the advice, Nibby.
Speaker 3: No worries, Laura or nice to talk to you, see
Speaker 3: nice to talk to you too, say you pretty, Bud,
Speaker 3: I love you, they go, brit All you got to
Speaker 3: do is yeah, some choice.
Speaker 2: Advice is to start there, but also say sorry. I
Speaker 2: mean she's so cute.
Speaker 5: They really are I do feel genuinely so lucky the
Speaker 5: family that I had, But my parents have set such
Speaker 5: a good example of what a relationship should be and
Speaker 5: how you should treat each other. Like to be thirty
Speaker 5: seven years old and who have not really seen the margin,
Speaker 5: knowing that they do, but they just do it their
Speaker 5: own way.
Speaker 2: I think that's pretty cool.
Speaker 5: So anyway, here's to a long, successful marriage for me.