WEBVTT - ASK UNCUT - Can we stop with speaking your truth 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.800 Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands 0:00:03.840 --> 0:00:06.560 were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders 0:00:06.559 --> 0:00:07.600 past and present. 0:00:07.600 --> 0:00:11.399 Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:33.720 recorded on Drug Wallamuta Land. Hi guys, and welcome back 0:00:33.760 --> 0:00:36.760 to another episode of Life un Cut. I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, 0:00:36.920 --> 0:00:40.360 and this is ask Guncut where we answer all your deep, 0:00:40.360 --> 0:00:42.120 you dark and you're burning questions. 0:00:43.080 --> 0:00:45.960 You had said to me this morning was an hour 0:00:45.960 --> 0:00:46.479 and a half later. 0:00:46.960 --> 0:00:51.279 It was really bad, right, No, no, Brittany, because we 0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:54.480 all left early and we all got here and you 0:00:54.720 --> 0:00:56.280 arrived an hour late. 0:00:56.520 --> 0:00:58.400 The traffic was not that bad. It was bad, but 0:00:58.440 --> 0:00:58.760 it was. 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:01.800 Not an hour that would put my life on Delilah 0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:04.800 that I left. What time did you lose? It's seven 0:01:04.840 --> 0:01:08.119 minutes to eight, and it usually takes me forty minutes max. 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:11.480 And that's not enough time to Yeah always. 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:12.880 I've been doing this for eighteen months. 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:16.120 Even Keisha's like that is late, left late, tells you 0:01:16.200 --> 0:01:17.560 that it took me an hour and a half. There 0:01:17.560 --> 0:01:19.040 were three accidents along the way. 0:01:19.120 --> 0:01:20.840 Do you know what peak hour in the morning. I 0:01:20.880 --> 0:01:23.720 would have to say that forty minutes is not enough 0:01:23.760 --> 0:01:25.520 time because it took me an hour and tent and 0:01:25.560 --> 0:01:26.520 I always leave an hour. 0:01:26.560 --> 0:01:28.640 But you know, we can also live twenty minutes further 0:01:28.680 --> 0:01:34.360 away from me. We can. Okay, you did tell me 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:36.560 now that I am here, that you have a story 0:01:36.600 --> 0:01:38.520 to tell me. I do. I do have a story. 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:39.760 I love that I saved them up. 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:41.560 Or like, whenever we have a story that we think 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:43.520 is going to be semi interesting, we're like, I can't 0:01:43.600 --> 0:01:45.480 tell you because I need to tell you in real 0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:49.000 time on the podcast. So we interviewed recently. We're doing 0:01:49.000 --> 0:01:51.160 a bonus episode every month that's coming up. 0:01:51.560 --> 0:01:52.320 Is it going to. 0:01:52.280 --> 0:01:54.280 Be We haven't named it yet, we don't know what 0:01:54.280 --> 0:01:57.360 it's called, but it is basically an interview with one 0:01:57.400 --> 0:01:59.160 member from our Life on Cut community. 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:00.760 So I think we'd go like life is on Cut 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:01.400 or something there. 0:02:01.400 --> 0:02:03.240 We got Life, We've got bonus episodes of Life is 0:02:03.240 --> 0:02:05.720 on Cut coming. So what we wanted to do basically 0:02:05.880 --> 0:02:09.160 is highlight the key and like really influential people who 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:11.000 are in the Facebook group it's the Life on Cut 0:02:11.000 --> 0:02:14.000 discussion group, people who are super proactive, who have really 0:02:14.040 --> 0:02:17.360 interesting stories, and we're going to be interviewing one person, 0:02:17.400 --> 0:02:20.320 one community member, one life for a month. Anyway, we 0:02:20.360 --> 0:02:24.440 did our very first record on Monday with Carlie Sophia. 0:02:24.520 --> 0:02:26.280 If you're part of the Facebook group, you will know 0:02:26.400 --> 0:02:27.520 exactly who Carli is. 0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:29.480 If she's not part of the Facebook group and you 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:31.080 don't know who Carlie is, you need to join the 0:02:31.080 --> 0:02:31.800 Facebook group. 0:02:31.919 --> 0:02:34.639 So Carlie is fucking hilarious. One of the jobs that 0:02:34.680 --> 0:02:38.480 she does is that she reviews sex toys wild so 0:02:38.520 --> 0:02:39.560 she comes to the interview. 0:02:39.800 --> 0:02:41.919 Hang on, let's not brush over that. What a job? 0:02:42.000 --> 0:02:45.799 What a job? Gin, You're being paid to masturbate, debate 0:02:45.960 --> 0:02:50.760 so good, and to really not just to masturbate, but 0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:52.760 to masturbate to a level of like, you've got to 0:02:52.800 --> 0:02:55.400 really try to get everything out of that product. So 0:02:55.400 --> 0:02:57.600 you've got to really like honing. You've got overtime, you're 0:02:57.600 --> 0:02:59.080 getting paid. You're like, I'm sorry, it took me an 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:01.680 extra hour today. I'm charge in our overtime because your 0:03:01.720 --> 0:03:03.120 product didn't get me there quick enough. 0:03:03.160 --> 0:03:06.760 But then she's also imparting the wisdom on the general 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:08.839 population about which are the best toys and which ones 0:03:08.840 --> 0:03:11.440 to steer clear of, So clearly she's doing God's work. 0:03:11.520 --> 0:03:13.080 She's doing God's work. 0:03:13.480 --> 0:03:16.400 Yes, she's a good woman, and that's why we wanted 0:03:16.440 --> 0:03:18.760 to speak to her. But also, I mean speaking of 0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:20.560 her being a good woman, she came to the interview 0:03:20.600 --> 0:03:22.920 and she brought Britt and I a vibrator. 0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:26.000 No one has ever turned up to an interview before. 0:03:26.080 --> 0:03:29.240 Sometimes people will bring in like a book, or like 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:31.560 a coffee, or we've even had a cake. Once someone 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:33.320 brought us a cake, which was really nice. That was 0:03:33.360 --> 0:03:35.880 Beck Brown. Oh yeah, she brought brownies. She brought brownies, 0:03:35.880 --> 0:03:38.200 which is punny now that we say that it's because 0:03:38.200 --> 0:03:40.480 they're the Beck Brown brownies. I'm not sure it is 0:03:40.480 --> 0:03:43.560 because yeah, is that why she did. It's maybe she 0:03:43.600 --> 0:03:44.720 did for brownie points. 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:46.640 Oh my god, this brown inception. 0:03:46.760 --> 0:03:49.640 Okay, so we've had little bits and pieces before, but 0:03:49.800 --> 0:03:54.000 I've never been brought a dildo, vibrator suction all in one. Yes, 0:03:54.280 --> 0:03:59.560 So Britt got given a really beautiful big vibrator, right, 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:00.960 is it the Flamingo. 0:04:01.160 --> 0:04:03.680 Yeah, it looks like a vibrator. I'm sure it does 0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:05.960 all the things a vibrator does. It acts like it 0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:07.800 acts like a vibrator. I'm glad that you give it 0:04:07.920 --> 0:04:10.600 a test. Run. I, on the other hand, got given 0:04:10.640 --> 0:04:14.600 a vibrator which looks like a cheese knife and could 0:04:14.680 --> 0:04:15.720 be potentially used. 0:04:15.960 --> 0:04:17.760 It kind of looks like a cross between a medical 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:22.760 device and a salad server. Yours looks like a weapon. 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:24.000 You know what it makes me think of when I 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:26.080 look at it, which I've always wondered how they do it? 0:04:26.360 --> 0:04:31.159 You know, the Kardashians have those ridiculously long nailing nails, 0:04:31.240 --> 0:04:34.120 and I've always thought, how do they masturbate? Do they masturbate? 0:04:34.240 --> 0:04:35.320 Or how do you do anything? How do you even 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:37.520 open a card or tie shoelace, put a bra on, whatever? 0:04:38.279 --> 0:04:41.360 But I've always wondered about the masturbation and your toy 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:43.280 because that's how I can't sleep a night becu I'm 0:04:43.279 --> 0:04:45.480 thinking about the Kardashians massurbaateing, not how do you wash 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:48.680 your children in a bar? How masturbate? It shows where 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:51.239 I am in my life right now. But your toy 0:04:51.520 --> 0:04:54.480 reminds me of that because it's just got this really 0:04:54.720 --> 0:04:57.440 wildly dangerous looking point and I don't know what you 0:04:57.480 --> 0:04:58.440 do it. Have you figured it out? 0:04:58.600 --> 0:04:58.680 So? 0:04:58.760 --> 0:05:01.479 Okay, it's got a point. It's called for pointed pleasure. 0:05:01.800 --> 0:05:03.680 I took it out of the bag. It was Valentine's 0:05:03.760 --> 0:05:05.080 Day and I took it. 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:05.920 I'm feeling it. 0:05:06.080 --> 0:05:07.640 No, I took it out of my handbag. I was 0:05:07.680 --> 0:05:09.440 going to work and I said to Matt. I was like, oh, 0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:11.440 look what I got given at you know, at the 0:05:11.480 --> 0:05:13.880 interview yesterday. Look what I got given. And I pull 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:17.200 out the vibrator and I put it on the kitchen table. Anyway, 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:21.400 I completely forgot because I've not met her yet. We 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:23.279 have this woman who comes to our house on a 0:05:23.320 --> 0:05:26.880 Tuesday every Tuesday, and she helps with things like meal 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:28.960 prepping for the kids, like doing things around the house 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:31.080 that aren't cooking and cleaning, but things to like help 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:33.080 me with my work, to help you. She's there to 0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:35.520 help me. Her name is Michelle. Michelle seems like a 0:05:35.560 --> 0:05:37.640 lovely woman. I have not yet met her. Anyway, she 0:05:37.680 --> 0:05:40.040 comes in and she's chatting away to Matt and she's 0:05:40.040 --> 0:05:42.360 cleaning up the kitchen and she picks up the vibrator 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:46.640 and she's like, what's this And so then Matt awkwardthy 0:05:46.680 --> 0:05:50.919 has to be like, oh, services he's a kid's So 0:05:51.040 --> 0:05:54.080 Laurie does this podcast they talk about sex. It's a vibrator. 0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:55.880 But we haven't used it anyway, he goes through the 0:05:55.920 --> 0:05:59.000 thing that happens. Little funny, he calls me. He tells me, 0:05:59.080 --> 0:06:01.440 we have a laugh about it. Half an hour later, 0:06:02.040 --> 0:06:04.279 she has just done the washing, and she's taking the 0:06:04.400 --> 0:06:07.320 washing into the bedroom and she walks in. Matt has 0:06:07.360 --> 0:06:09.679 forgotten that in the morning, before I left for work, 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:13.080 he made me film this absolutely fucking stupid Valentine's Day 0:06:13.120 --> 0:06:15.880 skit where he scattered rose petals over the bed and 0:06:15.920 --> 0:06:19.080 put up a ring light and also had another dildo 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:22.400 on the floor. And she walks in and there's the 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:26.240 bedroom set up like we've been recording soft porn. And 0:06:26.320 --> 0:06:30.560 she walks out and she was like, I don't I 0:06:30.600 --> 0:06:32.400 don't think that this was for your job. 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:34.240 And then there's like some nappies in there as well. 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:37.440 She's like why because we're doing child play now, Like 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:40.200 what are we doing? We're really into age play. I 0:06:40.240 --> 0:06:41.840 like Matt to dress up and call me mummy. That 0:06:41.880 --> 0:06:44.720 It's actually so funny because you know that it was 0:06:44.760 --> 0:06:47.560 almost possible right the salad server in the kitchen for 0:06:47.600 --> 0:06:50.600 the first vibrain passable. But you can't come back from 0:06:50.600 --> 0:06:52.479 when you walked in with the ring light, filming with 0:06:52.520 --> 0:06:55.479 the dildos, and how do you explain that the bedroom 0:06:55.520 --> 0:06:56.640 set up, how do you explain that? 0:06:56.720 --> 0:06:58.200 I just don't just say it was wild night, it 0:06:58.880 --> 0:06:59.760 was Valentine's Day. 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:03.520 I'me for everybody, it's funny because we I mean you 0:07:03.520 --> 0:07:04.640 guys haven't heard the episode yet. 0:07:04.640 --> 0:07:05.799 It's come out in a couple of weeks. 0:07:05.839 --> 0:07:08.560 But a part of that was discussing sex toys and 0:07:08.800 --> 0:07:11.240 the effect it has on men when they think that 0:07:11.320 --> 0:07:13.480 they can never be enough if a woman uses a 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:15.440 vibrator or a dildo, because they think how am I 0:07:15.480 --> 0:07:16.280 ever going to keep up? 0:07:16.680 --> 0:07:18.640 Like whether it's a masculating for some men. 0:07:18.840 --> 0:07:20.000 So I same thing. 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:21.640 We got home from that day and I was on 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:23.800 FaceTime to Ben and I was like, look what I 0:07:23.880 --> 0:07:25.400 got today because. 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:25.800 It was exciting. 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:28.600 We've got a gift and it was a beautiful flamingo vibratoryildo. 0:07:29.560 --> 0:07:31.480 So I held it up and he was like wow. 0:07:31.600 --> 0:07:33.280 He's like, that looks like it does a lot because 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:35.920 it has like a literal suction thing and then it 0:07:35.960 --> 0:07:39.600 scoops around in a circle into the insertion dildo part. 0:07:39.680 --> 0:07:41.880 So it's like there's a lot going on. It literally 0:07:41.960 --> 0:07:43.680 does everything at once. 0:07:43.760 --> 0:07:44.800 It's like a robovacum. 0:07:45.040 --> 0:07:46.960 It's like you're having an orgy, but with a vibrator. 0:07:48.200 --> 0:07:49.640 So I showed him and I was like, yeah, it does. 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:51.680 It's got this thing on the glitteris and I think 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:54.440 that bit vibrates and then it's an air suction as well, 0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:56.200 and then it curves around and then that's the dealer part. 0:07:56.240 --> 0:07:58.200 But the dealer vibrates too. And he I could see 0:07:58.200 --> 0:07:59.920 his brain going over and he said the same thing. 0:08:00.560 --> 0:08:03.200 Hey, so you're probably never going to enjoy sex with 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:03.679 me again. 0:08:05.080 --> 0:08:07.280 But men don't know it. He's like, but not like 0:08:07.280 --> 0:08:09.440 a serious thing, sort of like a oh well, like 0:08:09.560 --> 0:08:12.040 a throwaway, like well there we go, Like how are 0:08:12.120 --> 0:08:14.920 us men supposed to keep up with this contraption? And 0:08:14.960 --> 0:08:17.600 I said, won't somebody think of the men? Think of 0:08:17.680 --> 0:08:18.160 the men? 0:08:19.080 --> 0:08:20.440 And I said the same thing to him, I said, 0:08:20.440 --> 0:08:21.600 we spoke about this today. 0:08:21.800 --> 0:08:24.960 Men have no idea, I think anyway, My opinion is 0:08:25.440 --> 0:08:26.960 you can have all the bells and whistles on a 0:08:27.000 --> 0:08:29.280 contraption to masturbate and get off, but there will be 0:08:29.400 --> 0:08:32.960 nothing ever in my eyes, that will replace sex with 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:35.760 someone you love, the moment, everything that comes with the 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:38.400 sex like you could have you can have these little 0:08:38.440 --> 0:08:40.240 things that Madonnie's to put on a nipples that like 0:08:40.600 --> 0:08:44.880 swivel around and stuff, you know, the windmill nipples. Nothing's 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:48.760 going to replace for me great sex with someone you love. 0:08:48.840 --> 0:08:50.719 I don't think nipple tassels are going to replace great 0:08:50.760 --> 0:08:52.440 sex for anybody. No, I just really want to try 0:08:52.480 --> 0:08:52.800 them out. 0:08:54.160 --> 0:08:56.520 Interesting you say that, though, because playing Devil's Advocate, and 0:08:56.520 --> 0:08:59.200 now we're just like completely going offscript here, they're playing 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:02.679 Devil's Advocate to that point, right, that nothing would replace it. 0:09:03.120 --> 0:09:05.160 I know that we laugh at the whole idea that 0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:07.560 a man might think that a vibrator or a dildo 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:11.120 could replace the real thing. But it's interesting though, because 0:09:11.160 --> 0:09:13.760 on the flip side, as women, a lot of times, 0:09:13.800 --> 0:09:16.760 you know, porn does replace real sex. Masturbation does replace 0:09:16.800 --> 0:09:19.000 real sex. It is something that can be a problem. 0:09:19.120 --> 0:09:22.320 So I wouldn't say that you could completely rule out 0:09:22.320 --> 0:09:26.600 the idea that someone could be enjoying using vibrators more 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:29.640 than the real thing. That could happen in some people's relationships. 0:09:29.880 --> 0:09:31.440 Is it a great fear that men should go to 0:09:31.440 --> 0:09:34.199 sleep with at nighttime? No, But I think if we're 0:09:34.200 --> 0:09:37.440 going to entertain things like, you know, men masturbating too much, 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:40.439 men watching too much porn, men doing things outside the 0:09:40.520 --> 0:09:43.720 relationship that then affects what happens between you as a couple. 0:09:44.120 --> 0:09:45.719 I would go as far as to say that it 0:09:45.760 --> 0:09:47.840 shouldn't be gendered. It could happen to women as well. 0:09:47.920 --> 0:09:50.920 Absolutely, I have a friend she's I want to say, recovered. 0:09:50.920 --> 0:09:52.440 I guess it is because it was an addiction. She 0:09:52.520 --> 0:09:54.600 had a porn addiction. You don't hear about it from 0:09:54.600 --> 0:09:56.720 like a female, so I usually only hear about men. 0:09:56.840 --> 0:09:58.760 And she's really open with me about it. She had 0:09:58.760 --> 0:10:01.520 a proper porn addiction. She wanted to watch in the morning, 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:04.600 when she woke up at nighttime, all different sorts. She 0:10:04.720 --> 0:10:07.199 just couldn't start to get off without it, and it 0:10:07.240 --> 0:10:09.119 started to affect a relation she was in a relationship. 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:11.200 I mean, I think the addiction started when she was single. 0:10:11.520 --> 0:10:14.440 Then she went to a relationship. And at the start 0:10:14.480 --> 0:10:17.320 it was fun because they were doing things together that 0:10:17.320 --> 0:10:19.000 they saw on the porn, like let's try it like this, 0:10:19.160 --> 0:10:20.600 let's watch it while we have sex. 0:10:20.760 --> 0:10:22.440 And in a new relationship, that's great. 0:10:22.840 --> 0:10:24.680 But it started to get to the point where she said, 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:29.760 I can't get off properly now, if I'm just having 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:33.400 sex with my partner because of everything I've seen and 0:10:33.520 --> 0:10:37.439 felt otherwise, which isn't real, right, Like, these are productions 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:40.600 and performances. But it changed her expectations, so she had 0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:42.200 to go cold turkey. She had to quit and like 0:10:42.679 --> 0:10:46.160 porn detoks and then the relationship got ten times better. Yeah. 0:10:46.200 --> 0:10:48.240 But I mean, it's the topic that we've wanted to 0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:50.199 talk about for quite a long time, but we need 0:10:50.240 --> 0:10:52.280 to find the right person to talk about it. Is 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:54.560 porn addiction, because it is a very real thing and 0:10:54.600 --> 0:10:57.600 I think it affects many people. Okay, But before we 0:10:57.600 --> 0:10:59.400 get into answering questions, there's something else I wanted to 0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:01.000 talk to you about it. And I know that you 0:11:01.000 --> 0:11:03.200 will have no idea what I'm talking about because you 0:11:03.280 --> 0:11:06.400 do not watch Maths. But something happened in last night's episode, 0:11:06.400 --> 0:11:08.640 and I have feelings and I kind of want to 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:10.719 get your input on this. So there's a couple on 0:11:10.760 --> 0:11:12.439 the show called Shannon and Caitlin. 0:11:12.640 --> 0:11:14.600 I mean, everyone that listens to the pod knows I'm 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:15.760 not a maths person like you. 0:11:16.080 --> 0:11:17.440 Is he the Russell brand one? 0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:20.480 No? No, no, no, you're thinking of Jesse. No. 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:22.640 So Shannon is he kind of looks like a bit 0:11:22.679 --> 0:11:24.840 of a surfer boy. I would say, like a reformed 0:11:24.920 --> 0:11:28.040 surfer boy with short hair. Basically, the big scanner with 0:11:28.080 --> 0:11:30.600 him last week was that he had said to Caitlin, 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:32.880 I'm still in love with my ex. And then when 0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:35.160 he was on the couch at the commitment ceremony, the 0:11:35.600 --> 0:11:38.200 love experts were grilling him on like, well, why did 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:40.319 you come into this experiment if you just has slept 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:42.000 with your X like the week before the show, Like, 0:11:42.040 --> 0:11:44.360 it doesn't make any sense. Even though he has said 0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:46.760 I'm still in love with my ex, I don't have 0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:50.040 feelings for Caitlyn. Yet he chooses to stay in. 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:53.440 The experiment, you know, yeah, because he's committed grand flow. Yeah, 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:56.120 Instagram followers, to making Instagram followers, You've got to be 0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:58.439 committed to those followers. You can't leave that earlier, he 0:11:58.559 --> 0:12:01.880 is committed to growing his Instagram account. I mean he's 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:02.480 committed to her. 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:05.200 Yeah, yeah, absolutely, I mean so obviously. So anyway, this 0:12:05.240 --> 0:12:09.360 week it is intimacy challenges. During the intimacy challenges, obviously 0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:11.920 Shannon is not feeling it because he doesn't want to 0:12:11.920 --> 0:12:14.559 be with Kaitlin and he's not there with pure intentions. 0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:18.000 But at the end, sorry, that was my shock horror, Yeah, 0:12:18.040 --> 0:12:18.440 I thought so. 0:12:18.760 --> 0:12:23.080 Basically, what happens is he brutally rejects Kaitlyn after these 0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:25.720 intimacy challenges. He says to her, I think you're an 0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:31.080 attractive girl, but not to me. Okay, Now, I have 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:34.040 some feelings about this whole conversation because there's some issues 0:12:34.040 --> 0:12:37.240 in terms of being honest and being cruel, right, like 0:12:37.280 --> 0:12:39.240 they're two different things. But he says, more so, I 0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:40.440 want to play that audio for you. 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:46.560 The attractions low. You are a good looking girl, just 0:12:46.679 --> 0:12:49.040 but not in my eyes. And I thought you were 0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:51.960 going to come down that aisle, yeah, and completely blow 0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:57.079 me away because I honestly, those things that I was 0:12:57.120 --> 0:13:01.000 saying about x whatever, I wouldn't have even contemplated of 0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:05.880 saying now. I just would have just cut it completely forgotten, 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:08.560 like that stuff shouldn't have even been an issue. 0:13:09.240 --> 0:13:10.920 So this is my question, Brett, and I know that 0:13:10.960 --> 0:13:12.440 there's a lot of people who are up in arms 0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:16.000 on social media about this, but where is the line 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:20.400 between being honest and telling someone how you feel and 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:21.680 being just fucking mean? 0:13:22.160 --> 0:13:23.920 Oh? I mean, like, how long's a piece of string? 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:26.320 I think it's a lot in the delivery. I think 0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:29.520 it's all on the situation. I think we take advantage 0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:34.040 of the words no offense, but totally like this setup 0:13:34.080 --> 0:13:35.920 of just saying I don't want to offend you, but 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:38.920 I'm about to offend you. That doesn't negate the fact 0:13:38.960 --> 0:13:41.720 that you're about to completely tear someone's heart out. I 0:13:41.800 --> 0:13:44.640 understand the concept of what he said in terms of 0:13:44.640 --> 0:13:46.200 if you just told me the sentence he said, if 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:48.160 I didn't see it, I hadn't heard everything else. I 0:13:48.240 --> 0:13:51.440 understand the concept of being able to say you're a 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:55.320 beautiful person, but I'm not overly attracted to you, but 0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:57.760 I can recognize you're beautiful person. I've been in situations 0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:03.319 like that before, where I'm like, this human is so attractive, 0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:05.439 but I don't have the attraction. And that could be 0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:07.840 because something else is missing, could be because the personality 0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:10.679 or the humor, morals, or whatever it is. So I 0:14:10.800 --> 0:14:14.080 understand why he feels like that. I think that's common, 0:14:14.559 --> 0:14:18.000 but I don't understand the need to deliver it in 0:14:18.040 --> 0:14:20.880 the way he delivered it, and the expectation he has 0:14:20.920 --> 0:14:23.680 put on her to fix his problems, like you can't 0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:26.240 say it or someone I came in here loving someone else, 0:14:26.520 --> 0:14:28.160 and I thought you'd be so hot that I wouldn't 0:14:28.160 --> 0:14:29.640 love him anymore. But you're not that hot. 0:14:29.920 --> 0:14:33.600 Also, just how unbelievably superficial that, like your hotness was 0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:36.280 supposed to dissolve my love for my ex. That's what 0:14:36.280 --> 0:14:37.000 it was supposed to do. 0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:38.520 And an amazing person. 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:40.600 I am. What about everything I'm doing? What about Yeah, 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:41.600 I think that he's a bit of. 0:14:41.560 --> 0:14:42.240 A twat for that. 0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:44.440 Well, this made me think about something else, And I 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:46.040 mean it's a little bit of a tangent, but bear 0:14:46.080 --> 0:14:48.280 with me. I do think we see it more and 0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:51.000 more at the moment, this whole conversation around like I'm 0:14:51.080 --> 0:14:54.120 just telling my truth. I'm speaking my truth. I mean 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:56.280 instantly I think of Prince Harry and the whole like 0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:58.600 this is me speaking my truth. And it made me 0:14:58.880 --> 0:15:01.840 question there is an importance in this idea, Like it 0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:05.400 is important for people who maybe are from minority groups, 0:15:05.600 --> 0:15:07.880 maybe people who have felt that they haven't had a 0:15:07.920 --> 0:15:11.480 platform to speak their truth. But I think it's been 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:14.040 taken advantage of and people use it on an individual 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:17.640 level to say things that they feel and think that 0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:21.440 are potentially quite mean, but are actually not the truth. 0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:24.440 It may be their truth, but just because you perceive 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:29.000 something to be true, our memories of situations, our feelings 0:15:29.040 --> 0:15:33.120 towards things can actually really hugely shape what we and 0:15:33.160 --> 0:15:35.520 how we interpret a situation. It doesn't mean just because 0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:37.240 it's your truth doesn't make it the truth. 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:39.400 And someone saying I'm just being authentic, I'm being my 0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:40.320 authentic self. 0:15:40.360 --> 0:15:42.560 So this is what I'm going to say. There is 0:15:42.600 --> 0:15:43.000 a difference. 0:15:43.040 --> 0:15:45.400 I'm all for people speaking their truth and being authentic 0:15:45.560 --> 0:15:48.160 and saying how they feel, but you still do that 0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:51.520 with it coated in respect. You still want to deliver this, 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:54.000 not to knock somebody down and rip their heart out 0:15:54.040 --> 0:15:57.720 and make them feel belittled. You can still deliver your 0:15:57.800 --> 0:16:00.080 truth in a way that is respectful. If you know 0:16:00.160 --> 0:16:03.560 you're going to absolutely hurt someone's feelings, why say it? 0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:04.840 What are you going to get from it? This is 0:16:04.880 --> 0:16:07.480 what I think sometimes not saying anything is the best 0:16:07.480 --> 0:16:09.480 thing that you can do. I just think there are 0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:12.880 too many people now taking these terms for advantage that 0:16:13.120 --> 0:16:15.840 no offense. The speaking my truth, being my authentic self. 0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:17.760 I just think there are a lot of people that 0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:19.720 are stretching that too far. 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:21.920 It makes me think of so. Back in twenty eighteen, 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:24.640 Oprah Winfrey said this at the Golden Globes. She said, 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:27.760 I encourage everyone to speak their truths, right, And I 0:16:27.760 --> 0:16:30.200 think like from then it is kind of really escalated 0:16:30.320 --> 0:16:33.600 in how we communicate. This whole idea of like speaking 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:35.520 your truth has become quite a common sentence. 0:16:35.600 --> 0:16:37.200 I first said, I can say whatever I want. 0:16:38.080 --> 0:16:41.080 Yeah told me how Overra told me to speak my truth? 0:16:41.200 --> 0:16:44.280 It has over time, Like I think, originally it had 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:47.160 such good intentions. It was this powerful message of like 0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:50.000 if you are the underdog, if you have been in 0:16:50.040 --> 0:16:54.280 a situation where maybe like collectively something is happening, we 0:16:54.320 --> 0:16:56.200 all know what's happening, but no one is speaking out 0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:58.520 I e. The Me Too movement, I eat, Black Lives 0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:02.120 Matters movement. In these instances, the idea of speaking your 0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:05.000 truth is very important, but I think over time it's 0:17:05.040 --> 0:17:08.399 been weaponized and people use it on an individual level 0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:11.920 where they say, well, I'm speaking my truth even though yes, 0:17:12.400 --> 0:17:14.800 they may be speaking how they feel, they may be 0:17:14.920 --> 0:17:17.960 speaking what they think. One it's fucking mean, and two 0:17:18.040 --> 0:17:20.000 it doesn't make it the truth, which I think is 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:22.560 a really interesting and important way of kind of unpacking 0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:24.600