Speaker 1: Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
Speaker 1: were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders
Speaker 1: past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
Speaker 2: recorded on Drug Wallamuta Land. Hi guys, and welcome back
Speaker 2: to another episode of Life un Cut. I'm Laura, I'm Brittany,
Speaker 2: and this is ask Guncut where we answer all your deep,
Speaker 2: you dark and you're burning questions.
Speaker 3: You had said to me this morning was an hour
Speaker 3: and a half later.
Speaker 1: It was really bad, right, No, no, Brittany, because we
Speaker 1: all left early and we all got here and you
Speaker 1: arrived an hour late.
Speaker 2: The traffic was not that bad. It was bad, but
Speaker 2: it was.
Speaker 1: Not an hour that would put my life on Delilah
Speaker 1: that I left. What time did you lose? It's seven
Speaker 1: minutes to eight, and it usually takes me forty minutes max.
Speaker 1: And that's not enough time to Yeah always.
Speaker 3: I've been doing this for eighteen months.
Speaker 1: Even Keisha's like that is late, left late, tells you
Speaker 1: that it took me an hour and a half. There
Speaker 1: were three accidents along the way.
Speaker 2: Do you know what peak hour in the morning. I
Speaker 2: would have to say that forty minutes is not enough
Speaker 2: time because it took me an hour and tent and
Speaker 2: I always leave an hour.
Speaker 1: But you know, we can also live twenty minutes further
Speaker 1: away from me. We can. Okay, you did tell me
Speaker 1: now that I am here, that you have a story
Speaker 1: to tell me. I do. I do have a story.
Speaker 1: I love that I saved them up.
Speaker 2: Or like, whenever we have a story that we think
Speaker 2: is going to be semi interesting, we're like, I can't
Speaker 2: tell you because I need to tell you in real
Speaker 2: time on the podcast. So we interviewed recently. We're doing
Speaker 2: a bonus episode every month that's coming up.
Speaker 1: Is it going to.
Speaker 2: Be We haven't named it yet, we don't know what
Speaker 2: it's called, but it is basically an interview with one
Speaker 2: member from our Life on Cut community.
Speaker 1: So I think we'd go like life is on Cut
Speaker 1: or something there.
Speaker 2: We got Life, We've got bonus episodes of Life is
Speaker 2: on Cut coming. So what we wanted to do basically
Speaker 2: is highlight the key and like really influential people who
Speaker 2: are in the Facebook group it's the Life on Cut
Speaker 2: discussion group, people who are super proactive, who have really
Speaker 2: interesting stories, and we're going to be interviewing one person,
Speaker 2: one community member, one life for a month. Anyway, we
Speaker 2: did our very first record on Monday with Carlie Sophia.
Speaker 2: If you're part of the Facebook group, you will know
Speaker 2: exactly who Carli is.
Speaker 1: If she's not part of the Facebook group and you
Speaker 1: don't know who Carlie is, you need to join the
Speaker 1: Facebook group.
Speaker 2: So Carlie is fucking hilarious. One of the jobs that
Speaker 2: she does is that she reviews sex toys wild so
Speaker 2: she comes to the interview.
Speaker 3: Hang on, let's not brush over that. What a job?
Speaker 1: What a job? Gin, You're being paid to masturbate, debate
Speaker 1: so good, and to really not just to masturbate, but
Speaker 1: to masturbate to a level of like, you've got to
Speaker 1: really try to get everything out of that product. So
Speaker 1: you've got to really like honing. You've got overtime, you're
Speaker 1: getting paid. You're like, I'm sorry, it took me an
Speaker 1: extra hour today. I'm charge in our overtime because your
Speaker 1: product didn't get me there quick enough.
Speaker 2: But then she's also imparting the wisdom on the general
Speaker 2: population about which are the best toys and which ones
Speaker 2: to steer clear of, So clearly she's doing God's work.
Speaker 1: She's doing God's work.
Speaker 2: Yes, she's a good woman, and that's why we wanted
Speaker 2: to speak to her. But also, I mean speaking of
Speaker 2: her being a good woman, she came to the interview
Speaker 2: and she brought Britt and I a vibrator.
Speaker 3: No one has ever turned up to an interview before.
Speaker 1: Sometimes people will bring in like a book, or like
Speaker 1: a coffee, or we've even had a cake. Once someone
Speaker 1: brought us a cake, which was really nice. That was
Speaker 1: Beck Brown. Oh yeah, she brought brownies. She brought brownies,
Speaker 1: which is punny now that we say that it's because
Speaker 1: they're the Beck Brown brownies. I'm not sure it is
Speaker 1: because yeah, is that why she did. It's maybe she
Speaker 1: did for brownie points.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, this brown inception.
Speaker 1: Okay, so we've had little bits and pieces before, but
Speaker 1: I've never been brought a dildo, vibrator suction all in one. Yes,
Speaker 1: So Britt got given a really beautiful big vibrator, right,
Speaker 1: is it the Flamingo.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it looks like a vibrator. I'm sure it does
Speaker 2: all the things a vibrator does. It acts like it
Speaker 2: acts like a vibrator. I'm glad that you give it
Speaker 2: a test. Run. I, on the other hand, got given
Speaker 2: a vibrator which looks like a cheese knife and could
Speaker 2: be potentially used.
Speaker 1: It kind of looks like a cross between a medical
Speaker 1: device and a salad server. Yours looks like a weapon.
Speaker 1: You know what it makes me think of when I
Speaker 1: look at it, which I've always wondered how they do it?
Speaker 1: You know, the Kardashians have those ridiculously long nailing nails,
Speaker 1: and I've always thought, how do they masturbate? Do they masturbate?
Speaker 1: Or how do you do anything? How do you even
Speaker 1: open a card or tie shoelace, put a bra on, whatever?
Speaker 1: But I've always wondered about the masturbation and your toy
Speaker 1: because that's how I can't sleep a night becu I'm
Speaker 1: thinking about the Kardashians massurbaateing, not how do you wash
Speaker 1: your children in a bar? How masturbate? It shows where
Speaker 1: I am in my life right now. But your toy
Speaker 1: reminds me of that because it's just got this really
Speaker 1: wildly dangerous looking point and I don't know what you
Speaker 1: do it. Have you figured it out?
Speaker 4: So?
Speaker 2: Okay, it's got a point. It's called for pointed pleasure.
Speaker 2: I took it out of the bag. It was Valentine's
Speaker 2: Day and I took it.
Speaker 1: I'm feeling it.
Speaker 2: No, I took it out of my handbag. I was
Speaker 2: going to work and I said to Matt. I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: look what I got given at you know, at the
Speaker 2: interview yesterday. Look what I got given. And I pull
Speaker 2: out the vibrator and I put it on the kitchen table. Anyway,
Speaker 2: I completely forgot because I've not met her yet. We
Speaker 2: have this woman who comes to our house on a
Speaker 2: Tuesday every Tuesday, and she helps with things like meal
Speaker 2: prepping for the kids, like doing things around the house
Speaker 2: that aren't cooking and cleaning, but things to like help
Speaker 2: me with my work, to help you. She's there to
Speaker 2: help me. Her name is Michelle. Michelle seems like a
Speaker 2: lovely woman. I have not yet met her. Anyway, she
Speaker 2: comes in and she's chatting away to Matt and she's
Speaker 2: cleaning up the kitchen and she picks up the vibrator
Speaker 2: and she's like, what's this And so then Matt awkwardthy
Speaker 2: has to be like, oh, services he's a kid's So
Speaker 2: Laurie does this podcast they talk about sex. It's a vibrator.
Speaker 2: But we haven't used it anyway, he goes through the
Speaker 2: thing that happens. Little funny, he calls me. He tells me,
Speaker 2: we have a laugh about it. Half an hour later,
Speaker 2: she has just done the washing, and she's taking the
Speaker 2: washing into the bedroom and she walks in. Matt has
Speaker 2: forgotten that in the morning, before I left for work,
Speaker 2: he made me film this absolutely fucking stupid Valentine's Day
Speaker 2: skit where he scattered rose petals over the bed and
Speaker 2: put up a ring light and also had another dildo
Speaker 2: on the floor. And she walks in and there's the
Speaker 2: bedroom set up like we've been recording soft porn. And
Speaker 2: she walks out and she was like, I don't I
Speaker 2: don't think that this was for your job.
Speaker 1: And then there's like some nappies in there as well.
Speaker 1: She's like why because we're doing child play now, Like
Speaker 1: what are we doing? We're really into age play. I
Speaker 1: like Matt to dress up and call me mummy. That
Speaker 1: It's actually so funny because you know that it was
Speaker 1: almost possible right the salad server in the kitchen for
Speaker 1: the first vibrain passable. But you can't come back from
Speaker 1: when you walked in with the ring light, filming with
Speaker 1: the dildos, and how do you explain that the bedroom
Speaker 1: set up, how do you explain that?
Speaker 2: I just don't just say it was wild night, it
Speaker 2: was Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1: I'me for everybody, it's funny because we I mean you
Speaker 1: guys haven't heard the episode yet.
Speaker 3: It's come out in a couple of weeks.
Speaker 1: But a part of that was discussing sex toys and
Speaker 1: the effect it has on men when they think that
Speaker 1: they can never be enough if a woman uses a
Speaker 1: vibrator or a dildo, because they think how am I
Speaker 1: ever going to keep up?
Speaker 2: Like whether it's a masculating for some men.
Speaker 3: So I same thing.
Speaker 1: We got home from that day and I was on
Speaker 1: FaceTime to Ben and I was like, look what I
Speaker 1: got today because.
Speaker 3: It was exciting.
Speaker 1: We've got a gift and it was a beautiful flamingo vibratoryildo.
Speaker 3: So I held it up and he was like wow.
Speaker 1: He's like, that looks like it does a lot because
Speaker 1: it has like a literal suction thing and then it
Speaker 1: scoops around in a circle into the insertion dildo part.
Speaker 1: So it's like there's a lot going on. It literally
Speaker 1: does everything at once.
Speaker 3: It's like a robovacum.
Speaker 2: It's like you're having an orgy, but with a vibrator.
Speaker 3: So I showed him and I was like, yeah, it does.
Speaker 1: It's got this thing on the glitteris and I think
Speaker 1: that bit vibrates and then it's an air suction as well,
Speaker 1: and then it curves around and then that's the dealer part.
Speaker 1: But the dealer vibrates too. And he I could see
Speaker 1: his brain going over and he said the same thing.
Speaker 3: Hey, so you're probably never going to enjoy sex with
Speaker 3: me again.
Speaker 1: But men don't know it. He's like, but not like
Speaker 1: a serious thing, sort of like a oh well, like
Speaker 1: a throwaway, like well there we go, Like how are
Speaker 1: us men supposed to keep up with this contraption? And
Speaker 1: I said, won't somebody think of the men? Think of
Speaker 1: the men?
Speaker 3: And I said the same thing to him, I said,
Speaker 3: we spoke about this today.
Speaker 1: Men have no idea, I think anyway, My opinion is
Speaker 1: you can have all the bells and whistles on a
Speaker 1: contraption to masturbate and get off, but there will be
Speaker 1: nothing ever in my eyes, that will replace sex with
Speaker 1: someone you love, the moment, everything that comes with the
Speaker 1: sex like you could have you can have these little
Speaker 1: things that Madonnie's to put on a nipples that like
Speaker 1: swivel around and stuff, you know, the windmill nipples. Nothing's
Speaker 1: going to replace for me great sex with someone you love.
Speaker 1: I don't think nipple tassels are going to replace great
Speaker 1: sex for anybody. No, I just really want to try
Speaker 1: them out.
Speaker 2: Interesting you say that, though, because playing Devil's Advocate, and
Speaker 2: now we're just like completely going offscript here, they're playing
Speaker 2: Devil's Advocate to that point, right, that nothing would replace it.
Speaker 2: I know that we laugh at the whole idea that
Speaker 2: a man might think that a vibrator or a dildo
Speaker 2: could replace the real thing. But it's interesting though, because
Speaker 2: on the flip side, as women, a lot of times,
Speaker 2: you know, porn does replace real sex. Masturbation does replace
Speaker 2: real sex. It is something that can be a problem.
Speaker 2: So I wouldn't say that you could completely rule out
Speaker 2: the idea that someone could be enjoying using vibrators more
Speaker 2: than the real thing. That could happen in some people's relationships.
Speaker 2: Is it a great fear that men should go to
Speaker 2: sleep with at nighttime? No, But I think if we're
Speaker 2: going to entertain things like, you know, men masturbating too much,
Speaker 2: men watching too much porn, men doing things outside the
Speaker 2: relationship that then affects what happens between you as a couple.
Speaker 2: I would go as far as to say that it
Speaker 2: shouldn't be gendered. It could happen to women as well.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I have a friend she's I want to say, recovered.
Speaker 1: I guess it is because it was an addiction. She
Speaker 1: had a porn addiction. You don't hear about it from
Speaker 1: like a female, so I usually only hear about men.
Speaker 1: And she's really open with me about it. She had
Speaker 1: a proper porn addiction. She wanted to watch in the morning,
Speaker 1: when she woke up at nighttime, all different sorts. She
Speaker 1: just couldn't start to get off without it, and it
Speaker 1: started to affect a relation she was in a relationship.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think the addiction started when she was single.
Speaker 1: Then she went to a relationship. And at the start
Speaker 1: it was fun because they were doing things together that
Speaker 1: they saw on the porn, like let's try it like this,
Speaker 1: let's watch it while we have sex.
Speaker 3: And in a new relationship, that's great.
Speaker 1: But it started to get to the point where she said,
Speaker 1: I can't get off properly now, if I'm just having
Speaker 1: sex with my partner because of everything I've seen and
Speaker 1: felt otherwise, which isn't real, right, Like, these are productions
Speaker 1: and performances. But it changed her expectations, so she had
Speaker 1: to go cold turkey. She had to quit and like
Speaker 1: porn detoks and then the relationship got ten times better. Yeah.
Speaker 2: But I mean, it's the topic that we've wanted to
Speaker 2: talk about for quite a long time, but we need
Speaker 2: to find the right person to talk about it. Is
Speaker 2: porn addiction, because it is a very real thing and
Speaker 2: I think it affects many people. Okay, But before we
Speaker 2: get into answering questions, there's something else I wanted to
Speaker 2: talk to you about it. And I know that you
Speaker 2: will have no idea what I'm talking about because you
Speaker 2: do not watch Maths. But something happened in last night's episode,
Speaker 2: and I have feelings and I kind of want to
Speaker 2: get your input on this. So there's a couple on
Speaker 2: the show called Shannon and Caitlin.
Speaker 1: I mean, everyone that listens to the pod knows I'm
Speaker 1: not a maths person like you.
Speaker 3: Is he the Russell brand one?
Speaker 1: No? No, no, no, you're thinking of Jesse. No.
Speaker 2: So Shannon is he kind of looks like a bit
Speaker 2: of a surfer boy. I would say, like a reformed
Speaker 2: surfer boy with short hair. Basically, the big scanner with
Speaker 2: him last week was that he had said to Caitlin,
Speaker 2: I'm still in love with my ex. And then when
Speaker 2: he was on the couch at the commitment ceremony, the
Speaker 2: love experts were grilling him on like, well, why did
Speaker 2: you come into this experiment if you just has slept
Speaker 2: with your X like the week before the show, Like,
Speaker 2: it doesn't make any sense. Even though he has said
Speaker 2: I'm still in love with my ex, I don't have
Speaker 2: feelings for Caitlyn. Yet he chooses to stay in.
Speaker 1: The experiment, you know, yeah, because he's committed grand flow. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Instagram followers, to making Instagram followers, You've got to be
Speaker 1: committed to those followers. You can't leave that earlier, he
Speaker 1: is committed to growing his Instagram account. I mean he's
Speaker 1: committed to her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, I mean so obviously. So anyway, this
Speaker 2: week it is intimacy challenges. During the intimacy challenges, obviously
Speaker 2: Shannon is not feeling it because he doesn't want to
Speaker 2: be with Kaitlin and he's not there with pure intentions.
Speaker 1: But at the end, sorry, that was my shock horror, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I thought so.
Speaker 2: Basically, what happens is he brutally rejects Kaitlyn after these
Speaker 2: intimacy challenges. He says to her, I think you're an
Speaker 2: attractive girl, but not to me. Okay, Now, I have
Speaker 2: some feelings about this whole conversation because there's some issues
Speaker 2: in terms of being honest and being cruel, right, like
Speaker 2: they're two different things. But he says, more so, I
Speaker 2: want to play that audio for you.
Speaker 4: The attractions low. You are a good looking girl, just
Speaker 4: but not in my eyes. And I thought you were
Speaker 4: going to come down that aisle, yeah, and completely blow
Speaker 4: me away because I honestly, those things that I was
Speaker 4: saying about x whatever, I wouldn't have even contemplated of
Speaker 4: saying now. I just would have just cut it completely forgotten,
Speaker 4: like that stuff shouldn't have even been an issue.
Speaker 2: So this is my question, Brett, and I know that
Speaker 2: there's a lot of people who are up in arms
Speaker 2: on social media about this, but where is the line
Speaker 2: between being honest and telling someone how you feel and
Speaker 2: being just fucking mean?
Speaker 1: Oh? I mean, like, how long's a piece of string?
Speaker 1: I think it's a lot in the delivery. I think
Speaker 1: it's all on the situation. I think we take advantage
Speaker 1: of the words no offense, but totally like this setup
Speaker 1: of just saying I don't want to offend you, but
Speaker 1: I'm about to offend you. That doesn't negate the fact
Speaker 1: that you're about to completely tear someone's heart out. I
Speaker 1: understand the concept of what he said in terms of
Speaker 1: if you just told me the sentence he said, if
Speaker 1: I didn't see it, I hadn't heard everything else. I
Speaker 1: understand the concept of being able to say you're a
Speaker 1: beautiful person, but I'm not overly attracted to you, but
Speaker 1: I can recognize you're beautiful person. I've been in situations
Speaker 1: like that before, where I'm like, this human is so attractive,
Speaker 1: but I don't have the attraction. And that could be
Speaker 1: because something else is missing, could be because the personality
Speaker 1: or the humor, morals, or whatever it is. So I
Speaker 1: understand why he feels like that. I think that's common,
Speaker 1: but I don't understand the need to deliver it in
Speaker 1: the way he delivered it, and the expectation he has
Speaker 1: put on her to fix his problems, like you can't
Speaker 1: say it or someone I came in here loving someone else,
Speaker 1: and I thought you'd be so hot that I wouldn't
Speaker 1: love him anymore. But you're not that hot.
Speaker 2: Also, just how unbelievably superficial that, like your hotness was
Speaker 2: supposed to dissolve my love for my ex. That's what
Speaker 2: it was supposed to do.
Speaker 3: And an amazing person.
Speaker 1: I am. What about everything I'm doing? What about Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that he's a bit of.
Speaker 3: A twat for that.
Speaker 2: Well, this made me think about something else, And I
Speaker 2: mean it's a little bit of a tangent, but bear
Speaker 2: with me. I do think we see it more and
Speaker 2: more at the moment, this whole conversation around like I'm
Speaker 2: just telling my truth. I'm speaking my truth. I mean
Speaker 2: instantly I think of Prince Harry and the whole like
Speaker 2: this is me speaking my truth. And it made me
Speaker 2: question there is an importance in this idea, Like it
Speaker 2: is important for people who maybe are from minority groups,
Speaker 2: maybe people who have felt that they haven't had a
Speaker 2: platform to speak their truth. But I think it's been
Speaker 2: taken advantage of and people use it on an individual
Speaker 2: level to say things that they feel and think that
Speaker 2: are potentially quite mean, but are actually not the truth.
Speaker 2: It may be their truth, but just because you perceive
Speaker 2: something to be true, our memories of situations, our feelings
Speaker 2: towards things can actually really hugely shape what we and
Speaker 2: how we interpret a situation. It doesn't mean just because
Speaker 2: it's your truth doesn't make it the truth.
Speaker 1: And someone saying I'm just being authentic, I'm being my
Speaker 1: authentic self.
Speaker 3: So this is what I'm going to say. There is
Speaker 3: a difference.
Speaker 1: I'm all for people speaking their truth and being authentic
Speaker 1: and saying how they feel, but you still do that
Speaker 1: with it coated in respect. You still want to deliver this,
Speaker 1: not to knock somebody down and rip their heart out
Speaker 1: and make them feel belittled. You can still deliver your
Speaker 1: truth in a way that is respectful. If you know
Speaker 1: you're going to absolutely hurt someone's feelings, why say it?
Speaker 1: What are you going to get from it? This is
Speaker 1: what I think sometimes not saying anything is the best
Speaker 1: thing that you can do. I just think there are
Speaker 1: too many people now taking these terms for advantage that
Speaker 1: no offense. The speaking my truth, being my authentic self.
Speaker 1: I just think there are a lot of people that
Speaker 1: are stretching that too far.
Speaker 2: It makes me think of so. Back in twenty eighteen,
Speaker 2: Oprah Winfrey said this at the Golden Globes. She said,
Speaker 2: I encourage everyone to speak their truths, right, And I
Speaker 2: think like from then it is kind of really escalated
Speaker 2: in how we communicate. This whole idea of like speaking
Speaker 2: your truth has become quite a common sentence.
Speaker 3: I first said, I can say whatever I want.
Speaker 2: Yeah told me how Overra told me to speak my truth?
Speaker 2: It has over time, Like I think, originally it had
Speaker 2: such good intentions. It was this powerful message of like
Speaker 2: if you are the underdog, if you have been in
Speaker 2: a situation where maybe like collectively something is happening, we
Speaker 2: all know what's happening, but no one is speaking out
Speaker 2: I e. The Me Too movement, I eat, Black Lives
Speaker 2: Matters movement. In these instances, the idea of speaking your
Speaker 2: truth is very important, but I think over time it's
Speaker 2: been weaponized and people use it on an individual level
Speaker 2: where they say, well, I'm speaking my truth even though yes,
Speaker 2: they may be speaking how they feel, they may be
Speaker 2: speaking what they think. One it's fucking mean, and two
Speaker 2: it doesn't make it the truth, which I think is
Speaker 2: a really interesting and important way of kind of unpacking
Speaker 2: where we've gotten to with this sentence and statement.
Speaker 3: So how did it end up?
Speaker 1: Obviously there was this really offensive, rude moment. They don't
Speaker 1: want to be going to.
Speaker 3: Stay and work it out.
Speaker 1: At the moment when this was.
Speaker 2: All unfolding, she looked truly shocked, like she was just
Speaker 2: kind of a bit mute at the start. And then
Speaker 2: she went outside and had her voxy moment where she
Speaker 2: was speaking to camera and she was so upset she
Speaker 2: was literally visibly shaking.
Speaker 3: That sucks.
Speaker 2: And then she went inside and she had a real
Speaker 2: powerful moment where she was like, you know, you don't
Speaker 2: need to like me, you don't need to love me,
Speaker 2: but you need to respect me. I think she recognized
Speaker 2: exactly what was going on here, and I think that
Speaker 2: it can kind of go two ways in those moments.
Speaker 2: You can have someone say horrible things to you and
Speaker 2: you can walk away from it going I wish I
Speaker 2: had said this, but because you're so shocked in the moment,
Speaker 2: you're not able to verbalize yourself. And it was almost
Speaker 2: like she walked away, composed herself, got to think about
Speaker 2: what she wanted to say, and then she went back
Speaker 2: inside and ripped him a fucking new one, and so
Speaker 2: did the rest of Australia.
Speaker 3: But they're still gonna work it out.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I feel like, well, you can't leave until commitment ceremony,
Speaker 2: so that we've got to wait till Sunday.
Speaker 3: It's not wild that we have a show like that.
Speaker 3: It's like, oh, you're.
Speaker 1: Trapped here in this toxicity because you can only leave
Speaker 1: on a Sunday. It's fucking cooked.
Speaker 2: And also it makes me think, surely not right, Like
Speaker 2: Channel nine can't handcuff them to the bed if they
Speaker 2: want to leave. Legally they can leave. They have to
Speaker 2: be even if their contract says they can't. If you're
Speaker 2: not happy in a situation, if it's causing, you know,
Speaker 2: issues to your mental health, putting undue stress on you,
Speaker 2: and you want to go, they can't make you not go.
Speaker 1: I tried to leave two different reality shows and I
Speaker 1: was allowed to go, but I was talked off the ledge.
Speaker 1: So they're never gonna handcuff you there. It's not the
Speaker 1: Hunger Games like you think. You know, I have to
Speaker 1: sit there and fight to the death.
Speaker 3: You're not allowed out.
Speaker 1: But there is a part of it, and I understand
Speaker 1: to an extent because we only see we've spoken about it.
Speaker 1: We only see twelve minutes, half an hour of day's
Speaker 1: worth of non stop filming, so a lot of other
Speaker 1: stuff that goes on that will never understand. So I
Speaker 1: always want to give benefits of the doubt where we can,
Speaker 1: because you don't know the full story totally. And there's
Speaker 1: also a level of well, I've come this far, and
Speaker 1: I've invested this much, and I've given up this much
Speaker 1: on the outside to come here. Maybe I will.
Speaker 2: Just ride it into the Instagram followers.
Speaker 3: Ride into the followers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like right into the blue tick are You're like,
Speaker 2: I'm going to get something out of this. If it's
Speaker 2: not a relationship, I'm going to be a promo, it's
Speaker 2: going to be a tree holiday. Okay, Well, I wanted
Speaker 2: to jump in with this week's recommendations A vibe and unsubscribe.
Speaker 2: I am telling you, Brittany Hockley, go and watch The
Speaker 2: Glass Onion.
Speaker 1: It's fucking great. You've been writing me saying all my
Speaker 1: vibes are not hot takes. Glasshungion has long gone, Laura this, Yes,
Speaker 1: I thought it was new. Hang on, what did you watch? One?
Speaker 3: Or two?
Speaker 1: The Glass sung In is a movie? Yeah, there's two
Speaker 1: separate ones the Glass sung in. Are you talking about
Speaker 1: the one on the Island recently? I was gonna say,
Speaker 1: Craig David.
Speaker 2: With Daniel crazy, I reckon everybody is head goes there.
Speaker 1: I always every time I see Daniel Craig, I'm like,
Speaker 1: Craig David, is that we're talking about the Island one? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Because you feel stupid? No, because it is a sequel.
Speaker 1: There is another one that he was in a year
Speaker 1: or two ago and it's the same. This is new right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's in December last year, so it's three months old
Speaker 1: but still hot. Take great, Okay, now it's.
Speaker 2: A bit of an old take.
Speaker 1: What I want to say to you is if you
Speaker 1: loved that, the first one is ten times better.
Speaker 3: So no, because i'd watched the first.
Speaker 2: One was the first one have Kate Hudson in it, though, No,
Speaker 2: oh fuck, I just love Kate Hudson. She's so good
Speaker 2: and she's so much like her mum. Now Goldiehorn, it's like.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you know White Lotus, you know the idea
Speaker 1: of it, how one character is taken over into the
Speaker 1: next series and it's like a flow on. It's the
Speaker 1: same thing. So it's set in a house and it's
Speaker 1: a murder mystery kind of a thing. It's really cool,
Speaker 1: it's really good, and I love that you're recommending it
Speaker 1: to me now, and with my record and Craig, David
Speaker 1: Daniel Craig, he's the character that flows on into the
Speaker 1: Glass Onion too. He's a detective in the first one
Speaker 1: as well, right, the first one, because I was pumped
Speaker 1: for the second one because I loved the first one
Speaker 1: so much. If you loved the Second Island one, you're
Speaker 1: going to froth city the first one because for me,
Speaker 1: the first one, the first one shat all over the
Speaker 1: second one, and I like the second one, but the
Speaker 1: first one's ten times better. So if anyone is joining
Speaker 1: the Law of Train and thinks that this is the
Speaker 1: first one that's come out, and this is my hot
Speaker 1: tank recommendation, Glass Onion, can you get back to me
Speaker 1: next week.
Speaker 2: I want to know what you think of the first one.
Speaker 2: I probably won't watch it. I don't have enough time
Speaker 2: to watch TV, so this was like an anomally. I
Speaker 2: watch it and I was like, wow, this is cool.
Speaker 2: This reminds me of anyway. I feel really dumb now,
Speaker 2: but you're not called.
Speaker 1: Knives out it's a different thing, it's the same.
Speaker 2: I have not watched Glass Onion, highly recommend. That's all
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say.
Speaker 1: Okay, my vibrant subscribe. I don't have an subscribe, but
Speaker 1: my vibe this week. If you follow me on Instagram,
Speaker 1: you'll know I've been talking about it a lot. If
Speaker 1: you don't follow me Instagram, Britty, I don't go hockey.
Speaker 1: I have a new obsession with a hands free dog leash,
Speaker 1: like dog walking leash. It just wraps in a little
Speaker 1: belt like around your waist.
Speaker 2: Now, look at a fanny pack.
Speaker 1: I don't look cool at all. It's not well, maybe
Speaker 1: it is cool. Maybe I'm gonna make it cool. I
Speaker 1: don't feel cool, but it is life changing. How does
Speaker 1: it feel when you're getting walked by your dog? You
Speaker 1: don't walk your dog, your dog walks you. Well, it
Speaker 1: seems to control her more. I don't know why. Maybe
Speaker 1: because it's a consistent level of tortness, so she seems
Speaker 1: to just understand that that's how it is.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: So it's only happened once where she reacted to something
Speaker 1: and went to run. I nearly fell down at a
Speaker 1: flight of stairs.
Speaker 3: She ran.
Speaker 1: Really, So if you're a frail, brittle, and old. Please
Speaker 1: don't use the body leash what it can do. Now
Speaker 1: it goes around your waist and you just walk. So
Speaker 1: I drink coffee, have a croissant, talk on the phone.
Speaker 1: My hands are free, and it's life changing. I feel
Speaker 1: like if you have kids, or a pram or anything,
Speaker 1: or you just want to be like me and eat
Speaker 1: on the run, it's life changing. So that's my hot take.
Speaker 1: And I'm not unsubscribing from anything this week. It's been
Speaker 1: a good week. It's been a good beat. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: let's get into the questions. All right.
Speaker 3: Question number one.
Speaker 1: I've just found out I'm pregnant and I'm trying to
Speaker 1: decide on baby names. There is one name that I
Speaker 1: have loved for years, literally years. I had it written
Speaker 1: down in my notes from twenty seventeen, because I mean,
Speaker 1: who doesn't have a list of baby names that they love.
Speaker 1: My best friend's sister had a baby eighteen months ago
Speaker 1: and named the baby the name that I have loved
Speaker 1: since twenty seventeen. I see my best friend's sister and
Speaker 1: her baby pretty often. Is it bad if I still
Speaker 1: go ahead and use this name, even though I'll see
Speaker 1: her and the baby. Often the spelling would be different,
Speaker 1: but at the end of the day, the same name.
Speaker 1: Should I ask her if it's okay? Can I just
Speaker 1: do it? Do I need a new name?
Speaker 2: I have what I think is an unpopular opinion because
Speaker 2: I think most people care a lot about baby names.
Speaker 2: Right for the general consensus from friends and family that
Speaker 2: I've spoken to, people seem to care a lot about
Speaker 2: and feel very protective over the baby names that they
Speaker 2: choose for their children.
Speaker 1: I couldn't give a fuck. So if I could not
Speaker 1: have and call it Marley Mayes, I couldn't care.
Speaker 2: If you want to copy me, that's on you. That's
Speaker 2: not a reflection of me. That's just weird for you.
Speaker 1: I had two kids and I call them male Ma
Speaker 1: and Lala Derby. I honestly I would.
Speaker 2: Of course, a part of me would be like, that's
Speaker 2: a weird flex weird Brittany. And then you start to
Speaker 2: make out with Matt and I'm like, are you trying
Speaker 2: to have my life?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: What's going on here?
Speaker 2: That escalated quickly. I honestly don't care. Now I know
Speaker 2: that I am not the majority. I understand that, and
Speaker 2: I'm okay with that.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: My answer is we all need to care less? You
Speaker 2: can name your kid whatever you want to name your kid. Yes,
Speaker 2: you may see your friend's sister often. You may see
Speaker 2: your friend's sisters baby often. But are those two children
Speaker 2: going to be best friends? Are they going to play
Speaker 2: it together? Are they going to go to the same school,
Speaker 2: the same family events?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 2: Also, I think the other question you need to ask
Speaker 2: yourself is is the name so obscure?
Speaker 1: Like if it's.
Speaker 2: Lavender tweetle Bay, then I go sure, probably don't name
Speaker 2: it because people are going to think you copied. But
Speaker 2: if it's Sarah or Stella or Ava, something really common name,
Speaker 2: or Bloody Marley may now like just whatever, go for gold.
Speaker 2: I just don't think it's as big a deal as
Speaker 2: what we make it out to be.
Speaker 1: I disagree. I know that I'm the anomally. I think
Speaker 1: most people would. I disagree with reason. I think there's
Speaker 1: parameters that you need to look at. I think if
Speaker 1: it's a really close friend, family member, or someone you
Speaker 1: see a lot that you know is going to be
Speaker 1: in your life and the age difference is small, I
Speaker 1: would probably If there's another name you love, I would
Speaker 1: probably go for that. But at the end of the
Speaker 1: day it is your child, and that child is going
Speaker 1: to live a very very long life. And if you
Speaker 1: love the name for that child, you do whatever you want.
Speaker 1: If there's no other name in history of the tickets,
Speaker 1: your fancy. If you really don't want to do lavender,
Speaker 1: tickle brush or whatever you said, Laura, I'm lovena tickle Bay,
Speaker 1: tickle Bay. If you don't want to be living a
Speaker 1: tickle bay and you only love Sarah, do Sarah. It
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Probably preempt it and let them know it's
Speaker 1: going to happen. Actually, this is an example, and I
Speaker 1: was a lot younger, so it's as close as an
Speaker 1: example as I can give you. In my life, I
Speaker 1: had a dog. I feel like there's no truer sentence
Speaker 1: for me. I had a dog and I called her Miya.
Speaker 1: And then eighteen months later or two years and like
Speaker 1: my dog. Now, everyone that knows Delilah, you know how
Speaker 1: obsessed I am. I've been like that forever. So my dog,
Speaker 1: she was a border Collie. She came everywhere with me everywhere.
Speaker 1: We surfed together, we kayaked, we ran, she came to
Speaker 1: the shops everywhere everyone you were. And my friend got
Speaker 1: a dog eighteen months later a working dog and she
Speaker 1: called it Mia, and I was like, that's just so weird.
Speaker 1: I was like, that's my dog's Like why.
Speaker 2: Very convenient though, if you're at the park you're like, hey, Maya,
Speaker 2: and then all the dogs come for great.
Speaker 1: I remember just thinking like I didn't care enough that
Speaker 1: I wasn't gonna say anything. But I remember my thought,
Speaker 1: and I'm talking this is like fifteen years ago. My
Speaker 1: thought was like, there are so many names, why did
Speaker 1: you call them?
Speaker 4: Mind?
Speaker 1: But she just really loved the name. And it's not
Speaker 1: like the dogs go to school together and the dogs
Speaker 1: don't know that there's the same name. Like, I understand
Speaker 1: that that thought was stupid, but I can only imagine
Speaker 1: it's intensified a hundred times for people that they're best
Speaker 1: friends are calling their kids the same name.
Speaker 2: Well, I I definitely don't think the thought is stupid,
Speaker 2: because I would say, like, of course, I say I
Speaker 2: don't care. I would still think, like, for example, if
Speaker 2: you called your kids Marlene Lola, of course I'm gonna
Speaker 2: think that's fucking weird. But is it going to affect
Speaker 2: our friendship? Is it going to change the way I
Speaker 2: feel about you? Is it gonna make me love your
Speaker 2: kid any less. No, like that, And that's what I
Speaker 2: mean by I won't care, Like, of course, there's going
Speaker 2: to be a part of me that's like that's a
Speaker 2: weird option, but it's not going to change a good friendship,
Speaker 2: and nor is it going to make me resentful or angry.
Speaker 2: I do think that they're probably and like to unpack
Speaker 2: a little bit more rather than being just kind of like,
Speaker 2: don't care, do whatever you want. I think that there
Speaker 2: are probably different situations where one is more favorable than
Speaker 2: the other. So, for example, if it's a name like
Speaker 2: you say that you've had since twenty seventeen, you've loved it,
Speaker 2: you've had it as your name, you're really attached to it.
Speaker 2: I think that that is a very different situation when
Speaker 2: you choose the same name, rather than for example, say
Speaker 2: you were pregnant and as someone says to you, oh,
Speaker 2: this is a name I wanted to name my child,
Speaker 2: or this is the name I had in mind, and
Speaker 2: it gives you the idea of like, oh, yeah, that's
Speaker 2: a really pretty name. That's a different thing. Like if
Speaker 2: you're inspired by someone else's name because they've said it,
Speaker 2: or you know you've come in contact with it during
Speaker 2: your pregnancy. That's a really different attachment than to something
Speaker 2: that you have kind of because like a lot of women,
Speaker 2: actually a lot of people in general, they will have
Speaker 2: like little fantasies about having a girl or a boy
Speaker 2: and what they're going to name their child and what
Speaker 2: their family's going to look like. And so if you've
Speaker 2: created this attachment years prior, trying to get over that
Speaker 2: name and not be attached to it and name them
Speaker 2: something else just because you don't want to offend someone,
Speaker 2: I think, fuck, I just named the kid. Whatever's going
Speaker 2: to make you.
Speaker 3: Happy, haven't you?
Speaker 1: In my family, literally two weeks ago, so everyone that
Speaker 1: knows my sister, Sherry Sheridan what you probably don't know,
Speaker 1: but her nickname her entire life, everyone in our family
Speaker 1: call also that, and even the extent of family, her
Speaker 1: nickname is Bear. It always has been Bear, Bearsie. My
Speaker 1: dad started it when she was a little kid. And
Speaker 1: now my brother had a baby two weeks ago and
Speaker 1: called it Bear, and Sherry had this moment where she
Speaker 1: called me, She's like, is it weird? They called it
Speaker 1: my name? And I was like, well, your name's not.
Speaker 1: I was like, your name isn't bear. Your nickname is bear,
Speaker 1: And she's like, I know, but I have this weird
Speaker 1: attachment to it, like I'm bear and.
Speaker 2: I'm like, and now no one's going to call her
Speaker 2: bear anymore because they're going to call the baby bear.
Speaker 3: That's what she feels like.
Speaker 1: She feels like because that bears way cuter, like better
Speaker 1: newborn baby. It's cuter than Sherry. He's thirty three and
Speaker 1: married and bears not as cute Sherry. I think you're cute.
Speaker 3: Don't worry. I think you're so cute, Sherry.
Speaker 1: But it's funny because she's like she didn't actually care,
Speaker 1: but she said she had a moment too where she's like,
Speaker 1: they called it my name. Look, I think.
Speaker 2: In conclusion, have we helped you? Probably not. But I
Speaker 2: think it comes down to you assessing how one offended
Speaker 2: you think your friend's sister's going to be. Do you
Speaker 2: think she's going to be really offended? Is it going
Speaker 2: to affect your friendship? Is it going to turn into
Speaker 2: this huge problem? And if the answer is, look, probably not.
Speaker 2: She might just think it's a bit weird and then
Speaker 2: she's going to get over it. Then I would say,
Speaker 2: don't worry about it, because sometimes we create issues and
Speaker 2: make them way bigger in our mind than what they
Speaker 2: actually are. But if you know that it's going to
Speaker 2: be an issue, then you know reassess.
Speaker 1: Okay, my final question for you so you can wrap
Speaker 1: it up for this girl is I'll trying. Now that
Speaker 1: you've said I tried to wrap now. But now that
Speaker 1: you've said that, do you think that she should go
Speaker 1: to her and give her heads up that she's going
Speaker 1: to call it that or do you think she just
Speaker 1: does it.
Speaker 2: I think that there's nothing wrong with saying I don't
Speaker 2: think you're going to ask for permission. I think you're
Speaker 2: going to go and say, look, I hope this isn't
Speaker 2: uncomfortable for you. I have had Lavender whatever it is
Speaker 2: to on my list for the last five years. It's
Speaker 2: a name that I'm really attached to, and I would
Speaker 2: love to be able to call my daughter. I hope
Speaker 2: that that's not going to be an issue for you.
Speaker 2: And if she turns around and says it's a massive issue,
Speaker 2: I'm so upset blah blah blah, then the problem is
Speaker 2: you have to deal with that and then make a
Speaker 2: decision as to what's more important.
Speaker 1: You know, her reaction, but most.
Speaker 2: People will ninety nine percent of people will not react that. Adversely,
Speaker 2: they might be like, oh, that's a bit weird, and
Speaker 2: which case you can be like, yeah, I know, I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: that's a bit weird for you.
Speaker 1: I hope you get over it. But that's the name. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Sherry does message the group chat and said, so stoked
Speaker 1: you named him after me.
Speaker 2: Cute exactly, and that can be your little thing that
Speaker 2: you guys have for the rest of now and forever.
Speaker 2: All right, Okay, next question is, as a business woman
Speaker 2: who works incredibly hard, how do you deal with haters
Speaker 2: trying to bring you down? I have a business that
Speaker 2: is pretty successful. I work hard seven days a week
Speaker 2: and put my heart and soul into it. Yet one
Speaker 2: negative review or people trying to slander our name and
Speaker 2: I can't get it out of my head? How do
Speaker 2: you cope with the negativity? This is a to us personally.
Speaker 1: Yes, are you trying to say we got a lot
Speaker 1: of Is that to me?
Speaker 3: This is actually.
Speaker 1: Something I think relates or resonates with us, Laura, something
Speaker 1: that we've done, we've w wait, I have one for you,
Speaker 1: just so we all let's not highlight our negative reviews.
Speaker 2: Well, you know what, we all know that there's good ones.
Speaker 2: Here's the most recent negative one. It's about me to
Speaker 2: wiper it enjoy this podcast, but Laura needs to And
Speaker 2: then I can't read the rest because it cuts off,
Speaker 2: and then it says I do enjoy this podcast. But
Speaker 2: in finding lately that Laura is constantly sharing views which
Speaker 2: are clear digs at Brit and her choices, it's just
Speaker 2: super odd and comes off a bit gross to listen to.
Speaker 2: Brit seems very unaware. You're aware now though, right, Britt,
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 1: Unaware hill now Yeah, also, which adds, which adds to
Speaker 1: the grossness.
Speaker 2: I hope Laura stops this and it gets back on
Speaker 2: track soon so that the podcast can get back on track.
Speaker 1: That is wild because everyone that knows us, and you guys,
Speaker 1: hope that most of you knows Laura and I are
Speaker 1: like best friends.
Speaker 2: And also our life it goes far beyond what we
Speaker 2: speak about on this one and a half hour podcast.
Speaker 1: You know, we know.
Speaker 2: Fucking everything about each other.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the deep, the dark, and the wonderful, and we
Speaker 1: truly love each other, so sometimes we might take the
Speaker 1: piece out of each other because we genuinely want to
Speaker 1: take the piss out of each other, like we just
Speaker 1: want to have a bit of fun and it's light harded.
Speaker 1: Neither of us ever take what the other says hard.
Speaker 2: And you know what, I read this out because I'm like,
Speaker 2: I know that this is one that obviously paints me
Speaker 2: bad life. But we've received, oh, we've received both sides
Speaker 2: of it. But you know what, we love each other
Speaker 2: and we are such good friends. And sometimes we will
Speaker 2: get reviews where one person will be defending the other
Speaker 2: person on behalf of and if anything, whenever I've read
Speaker 2: them about you before where people will have said, you know,
Speaker 2: Britsbean mean to Laura or she's had a dig, it
Speaker 2: makes me upset that people listen to that, and then
Speaker 2: we'll pit against each other like that we have some
Speaker 2: beef that doesn't exist. And I think that that's probably
Speaker 2: one of the biggest things when I've read reviews before
Speaker 2: where I'm like, fuck, I hate that that's been misinterpreted
Speaker 2: or I hate that someone might think that. But what's
Speaker 2: most important to me is what you think and what
Speaker 2: I think of you ultimately, which is I adore you
Speaker 2: and think you are the fucking brilliant. So I guess
Speaker 2: for us personally. If this is a personal question, and
Speaker 2: I mean this from Tony May business also from life
Speaker 2: on cup. It doesn't matter what you do in life,
Speaker 2: there is always going to be some negativity. You cannot
Speaker 2: make everybody like you, and especially when it comes to business.
Speaker 2: You might give the best fucking customer service. You might
Speaker 2: try absolute hardest, and I know, like with Tony May,
Speaker 2: we work so hard and have done for fifteen years
Speaker 2: to give the best products, the best service. But you
Speaker 2: know what, sometimes things go wrong and people will be unhappy,
Speaker 2: and it's how you manage that. What I think is
Speaker 2: a really important part of your question is the fact
Speaker 2: that you say it upsets you so much, like you
Speaker 2: think about it all the time. That just shows how
Speaker 2: much you care what an excellent business woman you are
Speaker 2: and how your business is going to thrive into the
Speaker 2: future because you care what people think about you.
Speaker 1: It's the age old saying someone else's trash is another treasure,
Speaker 1: and I think it goes.
Speaker 3: Like it's age old, it's aged pretty.
Speaker 1: Who are you calling that now? I'm not, But my
Speaker 1: point is, and it's okay, it's a long way around
Speaker 1: for me to say, is exactly what you just said
Speaker 1: in a different way. But someone trashes another treasure. So
Speaker 1: what somebody loves, somebody else doesn't like. And that goes
Speaker 1: for some people's opinions because what they like to read,
Speaker 1: what they like to listen to, would like to see.
Speaker 1: And someone pretty influential once told me, I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: it was Barack Obama once we had dinner. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: guys are best is He told you know you've made
Speaker 1: it when you start to get the hate. And what
Speaker 1: I say by that is when you start your business.
Speaker 1: So this person has written in when you've started your
Speaker 1: little business, the people that are following you and supporting
Speaker 1: you and buying your products, those people are your people, right,
Speaker 1: so they love you, so they're never going to give
Speaker 1: you any hate because they're your circle, and they're the
Speaker 1: people that are committed to searching you, out finding you
Speaker 1: and buying your product. As you grow and grow and grow,
Speaker 1: you reach more people. You're going to eventually reach people
Speaker 1: that have stumbled across you but don't like your product
Speaker 1: and feel like they need to tell you that. This
Speaker 1: is when Barak don't quote that told me that that's
Speaker 1: when you know you've made it because you've reached a
Speaker 1: platform you're reaching so many people, your product's going out there,
Speaker 1: it's so popular that people are going to start to
Speaker 1: tell you what they really think now. So it also
Speaker 1: is human nature to grab onto that one little thing
Speaker 1: of negativity. I'm sure whatever business you run, I'm sure
Speaker 1: you had one hundred amazing reviews and a hundred people
Speaker 1: that are celebrating you and supporting you. But that one
Speaker 1: person that says, you know what, I think you're shit totally.
Speaker 1: You want to hold onto that because that's what hurts.
Speaker 1: And you're like, well, I want everyone to love me.
Speaker 1: Why don't they love me? But you need to get
Speaker 1: to a point where you understand as long as you
Speaker 1: are happy with what you're putting out and who you are,
Speaker 1: that's all that matters, because you're never ever ever going
Speaker 1: to please anyone.
Speaker 2: I think that that is a really important point that
Speaker 2: you just made. Breath this whole idea that we are
Speaker 2: negatively good. You know, you can get a thousand positive
Speaker 2: comments and a negative one will cut through so much deeper,
Speaker 2: so much quicker, and you will hold on to those.
Speaker 2: You know, something that somebody frivolously has just fired off
Speaker 2: in ten seconds and then they've gone on with their
Speaker 2: day and not thought about. You will read that and
Speaker 2: that will affect you potentially for the rest of your day,
Speaker 2: the rest of your week. You cannot be defined by
Speaker 2: the negative things that a few people think of you,
Speaker 2: because that's not a reflection of who you are. You know,
Speaker 2: you can't allow that to supersede and overtake everything else,
Speaker 2: and you know, like make you worry so much that
Speaker 2: you're losing sleep over it. When you have to look
Speaker 2: at the percentage. If, for example, it's fifty percent of
Speaker 2: people saying negative things and fifty percent of people saying
Speaker 2: positive things, well then you've probably got a bit of
Speaker 2: a problem because that's not a very good skew when
Speaker 2: it comes to business. But if you have five percent
Speaker 2: saying negative things and ninety five percent giving you positive reviews,
Speaker 2: then I would say cool, there's a bit.
Speaker 1: Of room for improvement there.
Speaker 2: But ultimately you have a great, robust business and that's
Speaker 2: where you should be focusing your energy onto. So just
Speaker 2: to wrap this up, I think it is a good
Speaker 2: quality that you worry about it because it shows that
Speaker 2: you want growth. Do I think that you should worry
Speaker 2: yourself into an early grave and change everything about your
Speaker 2: business because a few people think negative things. No, I
Speaker 2: think you just fucking get up, work hard, and just continue. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The only person you need to impress is you well,
Speaker 1: and also you and everyone that needs to buy a product.
Speaker 3: Okay, final question.
Speaker 1: I'm currently thirty four weeks pregnant and my husband and
Speaker 1: I have not had sex in weeks. Prior to this,
Speaker 1: we had a very healthy sex life. I've brought it
Speaker 1: up multiple times with him, and he has said that
Speaker 1: it's difficult to have sex with me while I have
Speaker 1: such a big tummy. He tries to reassure me by saying,
Speaker 1: I'm beautiful, bit it's time had to be sexually attracted
Speaker 1: to me when I'm pregnant. I've suggested we try other
Speaker 1: positions where my belly isn't visible to him, which he says, yeah,
Speaker 1: we can try it, but then still nothing happens. I
Speaker 1: also know he often masturbates. It's already hard to see
Speaker 1: my body going through all these changes, but to also
Speaker 1: feel undesired by my husband hits even harder. Is it
Speaker 1: normal for your partner to not want to be intimate
Speaker 1: with you when you are at this stage of pregnancy.
Speaker 1: I worry that if we don't have sex until after
Speaker 1: the six weeks baby is born that there's going to
Speaker 1: be an immense pressure on it. I don't know what
Speaker 1: else to do to encourage him. Is a massive hit
Speaker 1: to my confidence every single time he shuts me down.
Speaker 1: Is it normal?
Speaker 2: Help?
Speaker 1: What do I do?
Speaker 2: This is such a hard one because I think that
Speaker 2: every relationship is different, and I think that so many
Speaker 2: people go through some challenging times when it comes to
Speaker 2: sex and it comes to pregnancy, because sometimes it's the
Speaker 2: other way around. Sometimes it's women who don't feel comfortable
Speaker 2: wanting to have sex with their partners when they're pregnant,
Speaker 2: and sometimes it's their partner. For me, Matt has a
Speaker 2: weird pregnancy fetish and he wants to have sex up
Speaker 2: until the time. And when I say this, I mean
Speaker 2: like he wants to have sex. We mean more when
Speaker 2: I'm pregnant. That's why I say it's he's pregnant. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean he's normally like once a week, and when
Speaker 2: I'm pregnant, he's like he would. Yes, it's a lot,
Speaker 2: and I'm tired. I need him to stop. So, but
Speaker 2: even for Matt, so it got to a point I
Speaker 2: think I might have been thirty seven weeks pregnant, and
Speaker 2: something clicked in him at thirty seven weeks and he
Speaker 2: wasn't interested in having sex anymore, and he would do
Speaker 2: it begrudgingly, like if I was like, come on, and
Speaker 2: he would be like ah, because he well, I think
Speaker 2: by that point in time, the idea that there was
Speaker 2: a very real baby in the room was sexually off
Speaker 2: putting for him, like it made him not want to
Speaker 2: have sex, because he was like, it's not just you.
Speaker 1: And me in the bedroom.
Speaker 2: There is a fulled human right there that sometimes moves around.
Speaker 2: When I've got my hands on your stomach, I can
Speaker 2: feel it, like it makes me not be thinking and
Speaker 2: be in the moment.
Speaker 1: It can definitely well I imagine it would be pulling
Speaker 1: your mind elsewhere totally.
Speaker 2: And so I mean, and you as the carrier of
Speaker 2: the baby, you with the baby inside you, you're feeling
Speaker 2: those movements all the time, so you're very in tune
Speaker 2: with the fact that there is a baby there, and
Speaker 2: it's almost like you don't care anymore, Like I know
Speaker 2: I didn't care anymore. I was like whatever, you know,
Speaker 2: it didn't affect me sexually, and if anything, I think
Speaker 2: it makes you horny. It for a lot of people
Speaker 2: when you're pregnant to say that you're like, it's unfair,
Speaker 2: like you're super horny. Then they'd also tell you that
Speaker 2: like having sex will bring on the pregnancy. But then
Speaker 2: you've got a partner who doesn't want to have sex with you,
Speaker 2: and you're like, you're not doing your job.
Speaker 1: That's when you need the salad tongs vibran.
Speaker 2: But like I said, every single person is different, And
Speaker 2: the only reason why I want to give your partner
Speaker 2: like almost the benefit of the doubt, like play Devil's
Speaker 2: advocate for your partner is because if you had a
Speaker 2: really healthy sex life before pregnancy and also during it
Speaker 2: up until this point, I think that you will probably
Speaker 2: end up going back to having a really healthy sex
Speaker 2: life after pregnancy, and maybe you're just in a bit
Speaker 2: of a weird transitional phase. I think if you are
Speaker 2: not there at the six mens, let's say, ten weeks
Speaker 2: after or four months after, whatever it is for you
Speaker 2: that you need to get back into having like a
Speaker 2: regular sex life, I think that then it would be
Speaker 2: a time to start really going okay, is there a
Speaker 2: problem here? But I do think at this period there
Speaker 2: needs to be a bit of leeway both ways. Does
Speaker 2: that mean that you can't be intimate with each other? No,
Speaker 2: And I think it's really important to kind of define
Speaker 2: and break down the difference between intimacy and having sex.
Speaker 2: He might not feel comfortable having penetrative sex at the moment,
Speaker 2: but he should still feel comfortable with being intimate with
Speaker 2: you and making you feel wanted and loved and desirable.
Speaker 2: All those things are still important and he still needs
Speaker 2: to be putting an effort in that area. He just
Speaker 2: doesn't have to have sex right now if he doesn't
Speaker 2: feel comfortable either.
Speaker 1: I wonder, And I've never been pregnant, so I don't know.
Speaker 1: I can't comment from a personal experience, but I wonder
Speaker 1: if you can sit down and have a conversation and say, like,
Speaker 1: I still feel like I need this. I still feel
Speaker 1: like I want to have that connection and intimacy because
Speaker 1: it makes me feel wanted. Yeah, you do definitely need
Speaker 1: to respect each other. So you also need to respect
Speaker 1: the fact that he doesn't feel like it and he
Speaker 1: is telling you he still thinks you're beautiful. He just
Speaker 1: whatever the reason is, he doesn't want to go to
Speaker 1: that length. Can you sit down and can he get
Speaker 1: you off with toys. Can you still have this fun
Speaker 1: in the bedroom and this closeness and you can still
Speaker 1: have this sexual connection without it being penetrative sex. So
Speaker 1: maybe that is something you could look at. Maybe you
Speaker 1: could introduce some things I might excite him as well.
Speaker 1: If it's not something that you usually do, if you
Speaker 1: don't usually play with those kind of things in the bedroom,
Speaker 1: maybe that could be something where it.
Speaker 3: Does get him excited.
Speaker 1: You don't know, but I think you just have to
Speaker 1: have an honest conversation and say, I mean you could
Speaker 1: just be like you get really horny when you're pregnant,
Speaker 1: Like I want to have his connection. I want to
Speaker 1: have some sort of level of sexual contact.
Speaker 2: What can we do one hundred percent? And I think
Speaker 2: you could even say, I know you've said you don't
Speaker 2: want to have sex at the moment, let's take sex
Speaker 2: off the table then until after the baby's born.
Speaker 1: But I still want you to make me come.
Speaker 2: I still like here it is power, like use your hands,
Speaker 2: use this tool, whatever it is that you want. You
Speaker 2: can ask for that near relationship. And if that's then
Speaker 2: a no, if there's a no to intimacy, then that
Speaker 2: I think is a bigger problem. But I do think
Speaker 2: that pregnancy is an unusual time for everyone. And I
Speaker 2: used to think, no, fuck that, like, yes, your body's changing,
Speaker 2: but he should still be You know, I have changed
Speaker 2: my feelings towards that because the more I've spoken to
Speaker 2: my friends who have had babies, the more I've spoken
Speaker 2: to women, I know how much it can change your
Speaker 2: sex life for that period and also for the period
Speaker 2: after the baby is born. You may feel touched out,
Speaker 2: you may not want to have sex, like it's a
Speaker 2: real transitional time. But I think if you had a
Speaker 2: really healthy sex life before having a baby, there's absolutely
Speaker 2: no reason why you can't have a really healthy sex
Speaker 2: life after having a baby. So long as you're both
Speaker 2: prioritizing it and you come back to each.
Speaker 3: Other, well, I think that's it.
Speaker 1: Dun da da dun dua.
Speaker 2: I feel like that is it for us as well. Anyway, Guys,
Speaker 2: we hope that you loved the episode pretty hockly In
Speaker 2: case you didn't know, I do love you.
Speaker 3: Love you, kay, thanks bad Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 2: And if you love the episode, I have some homework
Speaker 2: if you go jump on the TikTok because we had
Speaker 2: TikTokers and it is life Uncut Podcast and we are
Speaker 2: posting all of the behind the scenes there. You can
Speaker 2: also follow us on Instagram at Life Uncut podcast and subscribe.
Speaker 1: And watch both of the glass onions, the original own
Speaker 1: that wasn't called glass Hanging and then Laura's one. Subscribe
Speaker 1: Labor of you a politic one please and you know
Speaker 1: the trail, So your mom, do you.
Speaker 3: Dog with hands, friendlish and toy friends.
Speaker 1: And share the love because we love I love you