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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers now.

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Speaker 2: So here we are sitting there having high quality, one

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Speaker 2: on one, engaged present time with our kids.

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Speaker 3: And guess who's snoring beside me on the bed?

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Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show.

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Speaker 3: My mum and dad.

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Speaker 2: It's the end of another week and I'm kind of

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Speaker 2: feeling good about this because the weekend is just around

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Speaker 2: the corner, and this is our favorite episode of the podcast.

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Speaker 3: I'll do Better Tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: This is the podcast where we reevaluate, rethink, consider all

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Speaker 2: over again all the stuff that we've done as parents

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Speaker 2: this week and figure out if we did okay or

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Speaker 2: whether or not we might be able to do a

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Speaker 2: bit better tomorrow Goday.

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Speaker 3: This is doctor Justin Coulson.

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Speaker 2: I'm the founder of Happy Families dot com dot au

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Speaker 2: and I'm here with Kylie, my wife and mum to

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Speaker 2: our six daughters. Love doing this podcast with you because

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Speaker 2: of the conversations we get to have. But these are

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Speaker 2: the best conversations right every Friday, where we get to

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Speaker 2: reflect on the week that was.

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Speaker 1: It's also became one of your favorites because we get

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Speaker 1: to do the Little Winds win. You can't see Little

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Speaker 1: Winds Wednesday winner.

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Speaker 3: I love that again. I say it three times, fast,

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Speaker 3: go go.

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Speaker 1: Little Wins Wednesday Winner, Little Winds Wednesday Winner, Little Winds

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Speaker 1: Wednesday Winner.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, you've got it. I'll give that to you.

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Speaker 2: Can you say it's an old one?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: Come and say what about which wicked witch wished? Which

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Speaker 2: we could wish?

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Speaker 1: Which wicked which wished? Which wicked wish?

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Speaker 2: You're gotta do it faster than that. Come on, no,

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Speaker 2: come on, I got another one for you. Not that

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Speaker 2: we're doing tongue twisters today, but let's just do one more.

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Speaker 2: Any noise and noise and oyster, and a noisy noise

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Speaker 2: and noise and listener most. I've been saying that for

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Speaker 2: years and never made any.

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Speaker 1: Noise and noise and oyster, but a noisy noise and

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Speaker 1: noise and oysters most.

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Speaker 2: So you could write there as well, any noise and

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Speaker 2: noise and oyster, and a noisy noise and noise and oyster.

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Speaker 3: Most which we could witch? Which, oh which we could

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Speaker 3: which wished? Which we could wish?

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Speaker 2: But the best one, still after all these years, is

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Speaker 2: red leather, yellow leather, red.

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Speaker 1: Leathered yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather.

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Speaker 2: You're saying it so slowly, you're gonna have to listen

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Speaker 2: to that on one and a half speed on the

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Speaker 2: podcast so that it sounds like you're doing it quickly. Anyway,

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Speaker 2: A Little Winds Wednesday winner is where we were before

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Speaker 2: we went on. How did you get us onto that?

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Speaker 2: I'm blaming you for all of that?

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Speaker 1: Well, Erin is our winner.

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Speaker 3: Feels like Friday. What's she won?

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Speaker 1: Oh, you're hilarious, She's won your twelve pack. Twelve pack

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Speaker 1: of justinisms.

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Speaker 2: These are all the things that I say all the

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Speaker 2: time to help your family to be happier. We've got

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Speaker 2: them as an a five cardboard poster for your fridge

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Speaker 2: or for your wall, so that you can have all

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Speaker 2: those cues around you to remind you to be calm

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Speaker 2: and kind or to get curious not furious, and to

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Speaker 2: remember that not everything has to be fixed and.

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Speaker 1: Channel your doctor justin.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, chelling you, that's right, chelling you in the doctor justin.

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Speaker 2: What did Aaron do to win on Little Winds Wednesday

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Speaker 2: with her little and their little wins?

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Speaker 1: Well, she's not so little. My fourteen year old daughter

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Speaker 1: seemed really upset. For a couple of days. I asked

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Speaker 1: if she was okay and wanted to talk, but she

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Speaker 1: said no, that she didn't want to talk about it.

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Speaker 1: Usually I would keep asking until she told me, and

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Speaker 1: this would end in frustration. Yeah for Screre's resistance, But

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Speaker 1: I've learnt so much since joining Happy Families. So I

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Speaker 1: gave her the space that she asked for, told her

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Speaker 1: I was here for her when and if she does

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Speaker 1: want to talk about it, and a couple of days

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Speaker 1: later she told me all about it. Honestly, this was

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Speaker 1: a big win for me, being able to let go

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Speaker 1: and give my teenager the space she needed.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what a great story. Well done Erin.

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Speaker 2: By the way, if you want to win, all you

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Speaker 2: have to do is look out on Facebook and tell

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Speaker 2: us about.

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Speaker 3: Your little wins with your little ones.

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Speaker 2: And every Friday, as we talk about older better tomorrow,

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Speaker 2: we get to celebrate your little winds and successes with

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Speaker 2: your families as well.

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Speaker 3: So who's up first today, Kylie? Is it you or

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Speaker 3: is it me?

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Speaker 1: Well, I've kind of got a couple that I was

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Speaker 1: going to share today. One of them was probably not

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Speaker 1: so good.

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Speaker 2: So you got to set a one that was good,

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Speaker 2: so you can redeem yourself as our eas Maybe that's

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Speaker 2: not how it's supposed to work, missus Colson.

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Speaker 1: Well, on Sunday we sat down with each of the

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Speaker 1: kids to do our interviews with them. We tried to

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Speaker 1: do this once a month, but we haven't been so

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Speaker 1: good with it for a little while now.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So we had a podcast about a week and a

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Speaker 2: bit ago where we talked about our meetings. We have

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Speaker 2: our family meetings, O, a couple of meetings in our

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Speaker 2: quarter getaways. Something we didn't tell you about is that

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Speaker 2: about once a month we sit down and have a

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Speaker 2: one on one with the kids where we ask them

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Speaker 2: the same question, saying three questions, what's going well, what's not?

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Speaker 2: And what do you need to work on? And we

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Speaker 2: call that ap I a personal parenting interview. So we

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Speaker 2: did that last Sunday.

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Speaker 1: We did I wasn't as prepared as I could have been.

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Speaker 3: Maybe we shouldn't say that we did that. Maybe we

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Speaker 3: should just say.

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Speaker 1: That I did that, And let's just be grateful that

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Speaker 1: there was two of us present, because I may have

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Speaker 1: just happened to dose off during one of them.

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Speaker 2: So here we are sitting there having high quality one

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Speaker 2: on one engaged present time with our kids. And guess

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Speaker 2: who's snoring beside me on the bed while I'm talking

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Speaker 2: to them.

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Speaker 1: Hey, that was your first problem. You did not We

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Speaker 1: should not have done it on our bed. That was

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Speaker 1: the first problem. Because I just slowly started to slide

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Speaker 1: down until I was no longer seated, and I was.

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Speaker 2: Gone, yeah, yeah, you did not do well, So I'll

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Speaker 2: do better tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: But it's some of the conversation.

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Speaker 3: The take home message, and lucky you took notes, is.

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Speaker 1: So don't sit in bed when you have interviews with

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Speaker 1: your kids.

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Speaker 2: Stay awake when you're talking to them. They're actually talking

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Speaker 2: to you about important stuff. Gosh, all right, so redeem yourself.

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Speaker 2: What was the other thing beare?

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Speaker 1: Well, it actually wasn't anything to do with me, And

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Speaker 1: it happened to be the same child I fell asleep with.

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Speaker 1: Right But the other night you were out, and the

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Speaker 1: other night I came to bed really, really late, and

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Speaker 1: this particular child had been pushing the boundaries of going

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Speaker 1: to bed on time, and so I'd caught her in

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Speaker 1: her bedroom with her light on much later than she

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Speaker 1: should have. And she looked at me and she said,

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Speaker 1: I know mum, I'm going to bed. Anyway, she came

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Speaker 1: racing out and I didn't see where she went, and

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Speaker 1: then she raced back to her bedroom. But it wasn't

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Speaker 1: until I got into bed that night that I found

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Speaker 1: Actually I didn't find it that night. It wasn't until

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Speaker 1: the next morning. When I got up the next morning,

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Speaker 1: I noticed that there was a card on my bedside table,

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Speaker 1: and I opened it up and here was this child

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Speaker 1: who had just written me this beautiful letter. And one

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Speaker 1: of the things that stood out to me in that

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Speaker 1: letter was just the acknowledgment that the thing that she

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Speaker 1: looks forward to the most in her day is listening

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Speaker 1: to the things that I share, specifically at the dinner table,

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Speaker 1: about the things that I'm grateful for or the opportunities

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Speaker 1: I've had to help other people during the day. That

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Speaker 1: was the highlight of her day, and I just it

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Speaker 1: was just really a really nice eye opener to me

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Speaker 1: as a parent that sometimes we kind of think our

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Speaker 1: kids have got their eyes glazed over and they're not

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Speaker 1: even interested in what we're sharing all the things that

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Speaker 1: we're doing in our day, and for her, the highlight

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Speaker 1: was just knowing that I have a beautiful heart were

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Speaker 1: her words that I have a beautiful heart, and that

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Speaker 1: she doesn't know other people who seek helping others as

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Speaker 1: much as I do. And I was really grateful for that.

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Speaker 1: It really was such a beautiful way to start my day.

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Speaker 2: I think there's a great lesson in there if there's

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Speaker 2: a take home message, and that is the power of

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Speaker 2: identifying people's strengths.

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Speaker 3: It was a gorgeous letter.

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Speaker 2: It was labeled strictly for Kylie Coulson's eyes only, totally confidential,

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Speaker 2: so I didn't actually read it in case she's listening

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Speaker 2: to the podcast. Well maybe I did, but I'm looking

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Speaker 2: at the way her words. This is the words of

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Speaker 2: an eleven year old girl talking about her mum. And

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Speaker 2: in that little letter to you, she highlighted your strengths.

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Speaker 2: She highlighted the things that she admires in you, and

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Speaker 2: it was.

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Speaker 3: A beautiful letter.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure that you will keep that, she said. She

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Speaker 2: gave one to me as well, and I'm keeping it forever.

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Speaker 3: It was beautiful.

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Speaker 2: What power there is when we spend time acknowledging what

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Speaker 2: we admire in our children, when we talk to them

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Speaker 2: about what we're proud of, when we focus on their

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Speaker 2: strengths rather than their shortcomings and failings. It was her

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Speaker 2: that taught us that lesson, and I think that's beautiful.

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Speaker 3: Up next, my I'll do better tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: It's a Happy Famili's podcast for.

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Speaker 3: A happier family.

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Speaker 1: Try a Happy Families membership, because a happy family doesn't

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Speaker 1: just happen.

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Speaker 3: Details at happy families dot com dot au.

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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast with a time

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Speaker 1: poor parent who just wants answers now and today we

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Speaker 1: are talking about.

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Speaker 3: I'll do better tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: This is the bit where we reflect on the week

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Speaker 2: that was and whether we did well or whether we didn't,

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Speaker 2: and how we can be better tomorrow. So I'll do

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Speaker 2: better tomorrow. I'm I'm not sure if this is a

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Speaker 2: good one or a bad one. I'm the kind of

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Speaker 2: person now I need to be really clear about this.

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Speaker 2: I'm the kind of person who gets things done, and

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Speaker 2: I get them done early. Like if I've got a deadline,

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Speaker 2: I want to get that thing taken care of. You're

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Speaker 2: looking at me with disbelief. I want to get this

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Speaker 2: thing done two weeks ahead of time. I don't want

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Speaker 2: to be stressed out at the last minute and worrying

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Speaker 2: about whether or not. I'm going to make things happen

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Speaker 2: or not. This is how I've lived since university. What

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Speaker 2: are you giving me this?

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Speaker 3: Three? Four?

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Speaker 1: I keep going, I'm listening.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So I'm the kind of person who gets stuff

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Speaker 2: done early. But during the week, our seventeen year old

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Speaker 2: grade eleven, she's got a psychology lab report JEW in

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Speaker 2: her psychic class, and she comes to me and says, Dad,

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Speaker 2: I've got to get this report done. I need your help.

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Speaker 2: It's JEW at seven o'clock tonight. It's five point thirty

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Speaker 2: when she tells me this. I had a webinar that

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Speaker 2: night that I had to run for twenty five schools

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Speaker 2: around the country, all joining in at the same time.

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Speaker 2: We're talking about a lot of people, and I'm thinking,

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Speaker 2: I'm not even ready for this web.

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Speaker 3: I just realized what I've said. Okay, well I was ready.

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Speaker 2: I think no, no, no, no, no, no no no no no,

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Speaker 2: I was ready.

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Speaker 3: I've just made it.

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Speaker 1: Think that in your head, you think that you're a

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Speaker 1: person who likes to get things done well in advance.

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Speaker 1: But I think that if we got Evelyn on the phone,

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Speaker 1: who is amazing with all the technology behind everything, that

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Speaker 1: she might have something different to say, all.

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Speaker 2: Right, well, I'll tell you what we're going to do.

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Speaker 2: We're going to call Evylyn right now, because I think

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Speaker 2: that she's going to agree that I am the person

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Speaker 2: who gets stuff done.

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Speaker 3: Oh, she will agree with that, and that I get

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Speaker 3: it done early most of the time.

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Speaker 2: Hi, Justin, Hey ev Justin and Kylie we're doing the

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Speaker 2: podcast right now, and we're in the middle of a

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Speaker 2: little bit of a conversation about i'ld do a bit

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Speaker 2: of tomorrow and we need you to settle something for us.

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Speaker 1: Okay, shoot, So v Justin has just publicly admitted that

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Speaker 1: he is a person who does everything in a very

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Speaker 1: timely fashion, and I have suggested that that just might

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Speaker 1: not be the case. Could you please confirm Justin and

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Speaker 1: I have a sty stem.

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Speaker 4: The system is that Justin gets to things when he does,

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Speaker 4: and then I madly again for him so that they're

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Speaker 4: ready to go in time. So we always make it.

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Speaker 4: We always make it, Kylie.

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Speaker 1: You do always make it. So on Monday night when

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Speaker 1: he had a webinar.

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Speaker 4: Yes, that was in the schedule for him to write

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Speaker 4: about four weeks prior to the webinar.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I'm aware. When were you doing your slideshow for that.

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Speaker 4: From memory, I think it was about four fifty love it.

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Speaker 3: That's all we needed.

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Speaker 1: Ev, Thank you so much, just one goodbye, goodbye.

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Speaker 3: I can't believe. I can't believe that even Evelyn didn't

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Speaker 3: support me on that one.

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Speaker 1: Look, honey, the priface in the pudding, the preface in

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Speaker 1: the pudding.

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Speaker 3: It was one off, a one off.

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Speaker 1: Do you know do you know the times that you

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Speaker 1: go on holiday. Ev complains that life is very boring

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Speaker 1: because she doesn't get a phone call it four o'clock

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Speaker 1: in the afternoon.

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Speaker 3: This is not about my time management. This is about

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Speaker 3: our children time management.

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Speaker 1: This is I can.

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Speaker 3: Can't believe you're doing this to me.

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Speaker 1: Carry on, tell me about your story.

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Speaker 3: I don't remember what the story is now it's gone.

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Speaker 2: I think it had something to do with a psychology

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Speaker 2: experiment that was due, and I looked at it.

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Speaker 3: It was a disaster.

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Speaker 1: And in our child's defense, she actually thought that all

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Speaker 1: she needed you to do was proof read.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right, that'd be fair.

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Speaker 2: And I proved read and figured she was going to

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Speaker 2: get about fifteen percent. It was just terrible. So I

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Speaker 2: sat down with her and I worked with her on

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Speaker 2: the assignment. For the two hours, even though I had

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Speaker 2: a webinar that was prepared, but I needed to go

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Speaker 2: and spend some time really making sure that I was

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Speaker 2: across it so I could deliver an absolutely first class product.

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Speaker 3: That's really what I needed to do.

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Speaker 2: It was prepped, Okay, I'm just saying it was prepped,

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Speaker 2: and she submitted it, and I don't know if it

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Speaker 2: was a good are a bad thing in terms of

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Speaker 2: I'll do better tomorrow, But we got to have a

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Speaker 2: pretty good conversation about it, and it just felt good

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Speaker 2: to be able to step in and be helpful with

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Speaker 2: a big girl who was having a bit of a

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Speaker 2: hard time with an assignment. And unfortunately, because of the

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Speaker 2: time restraints, I might have done a bit more of

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Speaker 2: the assignment for her than I should have, Like I

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Speaker 2: might have sat down and kicked her off the keyboard

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Speaker 2: and started to type sentences. And if I don't get

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Speaker 2: at least eighty five percent on this assignment, I'm going

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Speaker 2: to be really mad.

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Speaker 1: I think we've done a podcast on this sum somewhere

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Speaker 1: along the line, you know, letting our kids still the

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Speaker 1: consequences of their own choice.

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Speaker 2: We need to wrap this up before I incriminate myself

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Speaker 2: and if through the what's the take message, Well, my.

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Speaker 1: Take home messages don't be in bed when we interview.

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Speaker 3: The kids, right and mine? Oh gosh, follow your calendar.

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Speaker 2: No, this is about being a parent. This is about

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Speaker 2: what I do in my office. Leave me alone. My

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Speaker 2: take home message is that it's really great to actually

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Speaker 2: sit down with the kids and work with them. And

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Speaker 2: one of the things that I actually talked to her

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Speaker 2: about was because I was trying to explain to her

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Speaker 2: how to do the work that was in front of her,

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Speaker 2: and she kept saying, Dad, I don't need you to

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Speaker 2: explain it to me.

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Speaker 3: I just need you to tell me what I need

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Speaker 3: to do. Like she just wanted the answer.

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Speaker 2: She wanted the answer, And I kept saying, fast as

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Speaker 2: slow and slow as fast. If I do this the

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Speaker 2: fast way, you're not going to learn it. We need

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Speaker 2: to do it slowly so that you can actually integrate it.

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Speaker 1: Yes, But as you were doing it slowly, she was

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Speaker 1: literally watching that clock tick away, wasn't she Yeah.

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Speaker 3: She was crying. The anxiety was getting the better of her.

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Speaker 2: It reminded me of what it was like when I

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Speaker 2: was at school, and I hated it. I would never

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Speaker 2: do that in my life.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what my take home was from that situation?

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Speaker 1: Tell me, as much as you had other things that

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Speaker 1: were really really pressing for you, you took the time

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Speaker 1: to actually be with your child and that was really

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Speaker 1: really hard on everybody in the moment, but it meant

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Speaker 1: so much to her.

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Speaker 2: I'll take that. We really hope that you enjoyed the podcast.

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Speaker 2: I hope it helps you to do better tomorrow. The

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Speaker 2: Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Ruhlan and he's

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Speaker 2: at Bridge Media and Craig Bruce, our executive producer.

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Speaker 3: Good luck editing this one thing.

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Speaker 1: We're not getting them on to talk because they probably

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Speaker 1: would have a story or two as well, but that's another.

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Speaker 3: Story we'd love to hear. You feedback.

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Speaker 2: You can email us podcasts at happy families dot com

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Speaker 2: dot you or you can leave your five star ratings

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Speaker 2: and reviews at Apple Podcasts to help other people find

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Speaker 2: out about the podcast. Oh and if you'd like to

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Speaker 2: make your family happier, keep listening to the podcast.

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Speaker 3: And get more info at Happy families dot com dot

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Speaker 3: A