WEBVTT - Relationship Expert Reveals Her Tips On How To Date During COVID-19 0:00:04.800 --> 0:00:07.480 They are so driven by variety of adventure. 0:00:07.600 --> 0:00:09.600 They will be speaking to so many women they probably 0:00:09.600 --> 0:00:10.920 won't even remember what they expect to. 0:00:12.560 --> 0:00:14.280 Some of them even have spread teeth. 0:00:14.320 --> 0:00:18.840 It's so that some of them actually take every woman 0:00:19.320 --> 0:00:23.439 to the same place, so then they remember where they went. 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:29.760 What has been happening is the paradox of choice, So 0:00:29.880 --> 0:00:32.480 much choice. Let's see who else is out there, what's better? 0:00:33.040 --> 0:00:38.800 And whereas now it's like, oh, are they infected? Because 0:00:39.600 --> 0:00:44.199 really matter, when you're attracted to someone, you really do 0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:45.840 desire the way they smell. 0:00:46.159 --> 0:00:47.160 When you lose. 0:00:46.920 --> 0:00:51.640 Attraction, something happens in the subconscious when you cannot stand 0:00:52.120 --> 0:00:53.000 the smell of someone. 0:00:53.560 --> 0:00:57.320 Hello, and welcome to another episode of Outspoken. Have you 0:00:57.400 --> 0:00:58.360 ever been ghosted? 0:00:58.480 --> 0:00:59.120 Catfished? 0:00:59.200 --> 0:01:02.840 Or now COVID nineteen? Like every other aspect of life 0:01:02.880 --> 0:01:05.400 at the moment, the coronavirus has flipped the world of 0:01:05.480 --> 0:01:09.600 dating upside down and left us in uncharted waters. Today 0:01:09.720 --> 0:01:12.760 we speak to dating experts Samantha Jane from The Husband 0:01:12.760 --> 0:01:17.760 Project to help us navigate dating during a global pandemic. Samantha, 0:01:17.840 --> 0:01:21.480 welcome to Outspoken. I mean, we're obviously living in such 0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:24.920 a crazy moment with all of this coronavirus going on. 0:01:25.800 --> 0:01:28.919 How would you say it's affecting the dating world. 0:01:30.280 --> 0:01:34.640 Oh, it's creating massive, massive changes where people are actually 0:01:34.680 --> 0:01:39.800 resetting and thinking about their priorities. There actually has been 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:43.759 a huge spike in online dating because people can't get 0:01:43.800 --> 0:01:46.160 out there and simply say, hey, let's go for a drink. 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:50.160 You can't meet anyone offline, so online is the only option. 0:01:50.600 --> 0:01:55.040 But people are getting really strategic and they're more genuine 0:01:55.200 --> 0:01:59.360 because this scare has just enabled them to think about 0:01:59.400 --> 0:02:02.160 what's really got it and it's family and love that 0:02:02.240 --> 0:02:04.040 really are the main factors and health. 0:02:04.800 --> 0:02:08.320 Now, as a relationship expert, have you been inundated with 0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:11.120 calls from people who are struggling in this time and 0:02:11.240 --> 0:02:13.520 are looking for help on how to actually date in 0:02:13.600 --> 0:02:14.960 this new world we're living in. 0:02:15.960 --> 0:02:18.639 Oh? Absolutely, Look I've had a mixed reaction to some people, 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:23.160 you know, struck by fear and they're frozen, whereas most 0:02:23.240 --> 0:02:25.280 of them have said, look, I have a goal of 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:27.520 meeting someone and I want to make it happen this year. 0:02:27.600 --> 0:02:28.359 What can I do? 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:32.400 So we're looking at different ways I help with people 0:02:32.880 --> 0:02:36.600 find avenues to connect with people online and so they 0:02:36.600 --> 0:02:41.240 can still achieve their goal of finding someone despite the times. 0:02:41.680 --> 0:02:43.480 So what are some of those avenues Because I know 0:02:43.560 --> 0:02:45.720 we've got a few friends who are looking supposed to 0:02:45.800 --> 0:02:48.120 meet that one person this year and feel a bit 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:49.079 depressed about it all. 0:02:49.120 --> 0:02:51.280 How can people actually connect now? 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:56.680 Yes, what's important is don't be depressed. Okay too, it 0:02:56.720 --> 0:03:01.080 will pass. It is, you know, shocking, temporary thing, but 0:03:01.240 --> 0:03:04.720 think of it as an opportunity and get your priorities 0:03:04.800 --> 0:03:07.000 right and get out there. On dating apps, you mean, 0:03:07.080 --> 0:03:11.040 dating apps are really adapting to what's going on. They're 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:15.920 becoming because of the popularity. They're offering video chats so 0:03:15.960 --> 0:03:17.880 you can go on a viral date. You don't need 0:03:17.919 --> 0:03:23.079 to leave home. Tinder and other apps that are also 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:28.639 reminding people to keep safe, wash their hands, keep social distances. 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:31.919 Well, now that's probably coming to an end with the social. 0:03:31.639 --> 0:03:37.280 Distancing, but just being really responsible and getting out there. 0:03:37.360 --> 0:03:40.040 I would always recommend two or three apps, find your 0:03:40.080 --> 0:03:43.720 favorite one or two and stick to them. Just be persistent. 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:47.440 And do you have any tips on making your profile 0:03:47.520 --> 0:03:49.640 stand out or what sort of photos we should be 0:03:49.680 --> 0:03:50.600 sharing at the moment? 0:03:51.640 --> 0:03:51.839 Oh? 0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:56.440 Absolutely, the profile is everything and that's why it's super 0:03:56.480 --> 0:03:57.560 important to get it right. 0:03:57.600 --> 0:04:00.280 Because there are so many more people on life. It 0:04:00.440 --> 0:04:01.120 opens up. 0:04:01.040 --> 0:04:05.480 More opportunities, but it also creates more competition. So have 0:04:05.680 --> 0:04:10.640 a photo that is your absolute best. Out your friends 0:04:10.640 --> 0:04:14.160 and family, you know, get some real genuine advice, get 0:04:14.200 --> 0:04:17.560 except help. So have a mix of head shots and 0:04:17.680 --> 0:04:20.920 body shots. You could limit it to about one group 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:24.600 shot as long as everyone's okay with being in your profile. 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:26.880 What about I love men, though? 0:04:27.000 --> 0:04:27.680 What about for the men? 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:30.000 Because they're always I always think that when men are 0:04:30.000 --> 0:04:32.719 topless on tindre or what or hinge or whatever, they 0:04:32.760 --> 0:04:36.680 must as be complete. I'll just say it, dickheads, do 0:04:36.760 --> 0:04:38.760 you do you have Do you advise men not to 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:39.880 put up topless shots? 0:04:40.839 --> 0:04:45.560 The men that see me would never in their wildest dreams. 0:04:45.560 --> 0:04:46.359 They just wouldn't. 0:04:46.680 --> 0:04:49.400 The men that see me, you know, they're genuine, they've 0:04:49.400 --> 0:04:52.360 got family, are ownedo, they've got good intentions. The topless 0:04:52.360 --> 0:04:55.800 shots are really just an alarm bell that women should 0:04:55.920 --> 0:04:57.880 just run from. 0:04:57.680 --> 0:05:01.240 Because those guys arey hair ladys, we're good. I have 0:05:01.360 --> 0:05:03.520 to offer no good. 0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:06.679 I suppose one of the benefits now of having online 0:05:06.800 --> 0:05:08.640 dating or you know, being forced to do it, is 0:05:08.640 --> 0:05:11.680 that you're actually going to start building some genuine connections 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:14.240 with people. Do you think this is kind of a 0:05:14.240 --> 0:05:16.559 good time, a good thing for millennials at the moment? 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:21.880 Oh, it really is, because millennials have this hookup culture. 0:05:22.279 --> 0:05:25.679 And that's actually even though it's the culture, it actually 0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:28.000 saddens a lot. It creates a lot of anxiety and 0:05:28.040 --> 0:05:32.560 depression and loneliness. So this hookup culture will have to disappear, 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:36.000 even if it's temporarily. But when when things go back 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:38.320 to normal, I think it will change the way they 0:05:38.440 --> 0:05:41.360 date and they will become more real about things. 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:43.960 And how do you think these you know, so called 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:46.640 fuck boys and players will have to adapt to these 0:05:46.720 --> 0:05:48.520 kind of uncharted waters at the moment. 0:05:49.240 --> 0:05:51.200 Oh no, they're not going to like it, are they. 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:54.440 They're really big on like, okay, let's get to it, 0:05:54.520 --> 0:05:59.360 let's meet up, So. 0:05:58.200 --> 0:06:00.160 They're not going to like it at all. 0:06:00.440 --> 0:06:03.240 They're probably going to be the ones that encourage or 0:06:03.240 --> 0:06:05.480 pressure you into that virtual sex, or they'll be willing 0:06:05.520 --> 0:06:08.760 to do it dirty talk fast. They are so driven 0:06:08.800 --> 0:06:11.280 by variety in adventure, they will be speaking to so 0:06:11.400 --> 0:06:13.440 many women they probably won't even remember what they're speaking 0:06:13.520 --> 0:06:16.919 to you fast that some of them even have spreadsheets 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:21.680 that's so bizarre. Yeah, some of these guys have spreadsheet. 0:06:22.160 --> 0:06:26.719 Some of them actually take every woman to the same place, 0:06:27.200 --> 0:06:29.520 so then they remember where they went. 0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:30.440 Bizar. 0:06:31.360 --> 0:06:33.479 Yeah, don't have date one, two, three, for five, six, 0:06:33.560 --> 0:06:37.800 whatever it is, and they'll know, Okay, this restaurant, you know, 0:06:37.960 --> 0:06:40.120 that event, that theater, whatever it is. 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:44.120 He just can't get so terrible. 0:06:44.279 --> 0:06:45.040 And they're really. 0:06:44.839 --> 0:06:47.359 Guys sitting and watching like the same movie at the 0:06:47.400 --> 0:06:48.800 cinema over and over again. 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:50.560 Yeah. 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:54.679 Absolutely, Yeah, And there's guys have spreadsheets. I've seen it. 0:06:54.680 --> 0:06:55.680 It's bizarre. 0:06:55.920 --> 0:06:57.920 What sort of information is on the spreadsheet? 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:01.679 Oh, if you can say. 0:07:01.720 --> 0:07:08.440 The names, the age, I think crew, all those things 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:12.480 are back finding the school that you went to. 0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:18.240 Yeah, you think. Oh, he's such a thoughtful guy and 0:07:18.360 --> 0:07:22.240 an actual factor. He's just got to keep in data. 0:07:22.480 --> 0:07:25.400 So what are the signs to spotting that somebody might 0:07:25.520 --> 0:07:26.480 be doing this to you? 0:07:28.640 --> 0:07:30.840 Do? You know? The funny thing is it's it's all 0:07:30.880 --> 0:07:31.680 about intuition. 0:07:32.000 --> 0:07:37.120 Intuition pays a huge role in this, and you just 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:39.600 have to you just have to trust you that feel 0:07:40.040 --> 0:07:44.160 if something doesn't feel right or he's so smooth and 0:07:45.080 --> 0:07:49.400 he's so good at making you feel so amazing. 0:07:49.880 --> 0:07:52.320 Don't think that you're the only woman who's doing that too. 0:07:52.440 --> 0:07:54.880 I mean, the good guys, they don't really. 0:07:54.680 --> 0:07:58.560 Have much of a clue as to how to spark 0:07:58.640 --> 0:08:02.760 that attraction initially. So if you're feeling too connected with 0:08:02.800 --> 0:08:05.600 the guy because he says the right things, that is 0:08:05.640 --> 0:08:06.920 a massive alarm belt. 0:08:07.040 --> 0:08:10.440 He is very good at what he's doing. He's a 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:11.360 practice data. 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:15.800 That's some good tips. That just making me think back 0:08:15.800 --> 0:08:18.360 to a lot of people over the years. I think 0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:20.320 there's some great advice for women. I mean, I suppose 0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:22.880 we're focusing on coronavirus, but I also think a lot 0:08:22.920 --> 0:08:25.560 of people have written into us asking sort. 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:28.480 Of how do you know that a guy actually likes you? 0:08:28.520 --> 0:08:30.320 And I feel like you're the best person to ask 0:08:30.360 --> 0:08:31.240 that question too. 0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:35.400 Thanks. How do you know if a guy likes him? 0:08:36.320 --> 0:08:41.240 Well, he puts in the effort and he actually you know, 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:42.400 I have this. 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:48.360 This is your listeners might be interested. I haven't actually downloaded. 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:50.760 It's actually the poor Tactic man, and it teaches you 0:08:50.840 --> 0:08:53.480 the different traits to look for in a man and 0:08:53.480 --> 0:08:57.920 how he behaves. So realistically, if a man is interested 0:08:57.920 --> 0:09:00.199 in you, you'll know it. He'll make the time to 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:03.320 see you. He'll listen to what you're saying what's important 0:09:03.400 --> 0:09:05.680 to you. You might mention something like the art gallery 0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:07.679 next night, you know what, you're going to the art gallery. 0:09:08.280 --> 0:09:12.760 Or he asked you specific questions about your family. He 0:09:13.120 --> 0:09:15.240 asks you questions to really connect with you, and he 0:09:15.360 --> 0:09:19.480 remembers as opposed to a guy who's just talking to 0:09:19.520 --> 0:09:22.120 you about how sexy you are and how beautiful you are. 0:09:22.640 --> 0:09:25.679 I mean, that's he that's all lovely to hear, but 0:09:25.760 --> 0:09:28.640 you know that guy is interested in one thing. 0:09:29.080 --> 0:09:32.360 It's like getting you into the stack. 0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:37.480 That's some very good advice talking about online dating, and 0:09:38.160 --> 0:09:40.040 I'm guessing there's going to be a lot of nudes 0:09:40.080 --> 0:09:42.760 that are being sent around. What would your advice be 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:44.880 to women that are thinking of doing that. Do you 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:46.840 say yes, go for it, or maybe rethink? 0:09:48.080 --> 0:09:51.760 Oh, I definitely rethink it, really really rethink it, because 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:54.960 once it's out there, you can't you don't know where 0:09:54.960 --> 0:09:55.920 it's going to go, you. 0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:59.640 Can't retract it, and it could be used against you. 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:03.320 There's a lot of scary people online as well that 0:10:03.400 --> 0:10:05.800 could you know, could potentially be black mail. 0:10:06.320 --> 0:10:09.040 It's just don't do things that you're not comfortable doing. 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:13.440 And realistically wait until you meet the guy before you 0:10:13.520 --> 0:10:14.760 actually show him some skin. 0:10:17.240 --> 0:10:18.000 I think that's awesome. 0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:20.920 Yeah, it's such a great opportunity at the moment to 0:10:20.920 --> 0:10:23.480 build more of a meaningful connection with someone through just 0:10:23.559 --> 0:10:24.600 talking and chatting. 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:27.240 What's also your advice for someone who. 0:10:27.200 --> 0:10:29.440 Might feel a little bit awkward just talking to someone 0:10:29.480 --> 0:10:32.240 on FaceTime or over the phone that they haven't met before. 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:37.439 Okay, so just be prepared like you would be for 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:41.160 a job interview. You would practice your question so I 0:10:41.200 --> 0:10:44.400 would have a good sort of half a dozen questions 0:10:44.640 --> 0:10:47.679 under your belt that you can ask that person if 0:10:47.679 --> 0:10:50.560 you're getting stuck for words. And when you are connecting 0:10:50.559 --> 0:10:53.599 and communicating with them, you know you can be flatty. 0:10:53.360 --> 0:10:55.120 By giving compliments. 0:10:55.559 --> 0:10:58.280 You can ask about their favorite places in the world 0:10:58.400 --> 0:11:00.920 or the ideal weekend, which you a lot about their 0:11:01.040 --> 0:11:05.520 values and I'll tell you about their lifestyle and to 0:11:05.559 --> 0:11:11.880 see how aligned you are, and just keep things really positive, lighthearted. 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:14.959 And the great thing is if you're speaking online like that, 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:16.800 you can just quickly look to the side and check 0:11:16.800 --> 0:11:19.160 out your questions because they won't know what you're doing. 0:11:19.559 --> 0:11:20.280 That's really good. 0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:22.319 Well, one thing that I have seen popping up a 0:11:22.360 --> 0:11:25.560 little bit is people's exes are getting back in touch 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:27.840 with them in this sort of crisis at the moment. 0:11:27.920 --> 0:11:30.000 Have you heard about that? And that is there a 0:11:30.080 --> 0:11:31.000 reason behind that? 0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:31.640 Oh? 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:36.640 Absolutely, humans are creatures of habit, and you have to 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:38.439 remember your ex as an expert reason. 0:11:41.080 --> 0:11:46.000 In uncertain times, our first human need, our core need, 0:11:46.080 --> 0:11:46.800 is certainty. 0:11:47.440 --> 0:11:52.800 So we look for certainty in times of stress and anxiety, 0:11:53.160 --> 0:11:57.200 and we are looking for that familiarity because that feels safe. 0:11:57.480 --> 0:11:59.520 So it's really natural to go back to your ex 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:02.720 because you know that person, But we have to remember 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:08.360 they're not much safer than somebody new. It's just about 0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:12.720 you grounding yourself, being the best version of you, feeling 0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:15.439 really confident, and that's the time you should be getting 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:18.200 out and exploring your options. So now as an opportunity 0:12:18.679 --> 0:12:23.079 to really work on any insecurities and anxieties that you have. 0:12:24.040 --> 0:12:26.440 And at the moment, as we are still allowed to 0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:29.280 be leaving our houses and I mean still kind of 0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:31.320 meeting people to a certain extent, do you think that 0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:33.960 the topic of exclusivity is going to be coming up 0:12:34.000 --> 0:12:36.360 more and more because there's kind of more fear over 0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:39.800 if someone is seeing new people in. 0:12:40.320 --> 0:12:42.440 Yeah, locking someone in for that long period of time. 0:12:42.440 --> 0:12:43.880 It might be lockdown. 0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:45.600 Totally. 0:12:45.720 --> 0:12:48.680 I mean even going down to the shopping mall, it's like, oh, 0:12:48.800 --> 0:12:50.040 you're not social distancing. 0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:51.960 So you know, with. 0:12:51.920 --> 0:12:55.199 Dating, it's no longer just about condoms and STIs. 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:59.760 It's more about okay, are we exclusive? Who are you seeing? 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:02.840 That is definitely going to be a hot topic. Definitely 0:13:03.360 --> 0:13:04.800 you can lock them in quicker. 0:13:05.559 --> 0:13:05.719 Now. 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:08.360 You talk a lot about the science of love. Can 0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:10.679 you feel us in a little bit about I spoke 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:13.040 the science of love and I suppose how is it 0:13:13.080 --> 0:13:16.160 going to change with people not being able to see 0:13:16.200 --> 0:13:17.240 people face to face? 0:13:19.240 --> 0:13:27.200 Well, it's definitely interesting times we people the phases of 0:13:27.280 --> 0:13:30.920 love that love to plays a huge part in this, 0:13:32.120 --> 0:13:37.000 So people tend to get quite physical quickly, and relationships 0:13:37.040 --> 0:13:42.440 often start quickly and end quickly versus Now it's more 0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:48.640 about creating that an emotional connection and actually getting to 0:13:48.679 --> 0:13:53.480 that space of feeling like they're actually potentially going to 0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:56.040 be a part of your life where you can help 0:13:56.280 --> 0:13:57.640 build true connections. 0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:02.120 So it's no longer just this hook up culture. 0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:07.680 It's more more now about genuine love, genuine connections to 0:14:07.760 --> 0:14:11.119 know someone first, instead of using. 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:11.719 Like right now. 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:14.520 What is happening in life or what has been happening 0:14:14.880 --> 0:14:17.840 is the paradox of choice, so much choice. Let's see 0:14:17.880 --> 0:14:20.880 who else is out there, what's better? And whereas now 0:14:20.920 --> 0:14:23.400 it's like, oh are they infected? 0:14:24.320 --> 0:14:26.560 There's a new check. 0:14:26.480 --> 0:14:30.800 What's really you know, I might raise my standards a bit. 0:14:30.960 --> 0:14:35.080 I might be, you know, thinking more about what's truly 0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:39.600 important and love will come from this as opposed to blust. 0:14:40.000 --> 0:14:41.600 I'm wondering if this is going to be a good 0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:43.960 time for people that have like the boys that are 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:46.640 in the friend zone, because they're still kind of there, 0:14:46.960 --> 0:14:49.520 but now girls might be like, well, shit, like, you know, 0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:53.400 I've got some time, so maybe I'll you know, unfriend them. 0:14:54.320 --> 0:14:56.600 It is totally a good time for the friend zone 0:14:56.680 --> 0:15:02.040 guys because they are the ones that feel safe. And 0:15:02.200 --> 0:15:05.000 often the guys in the friend zone are actually really 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:07.760 good men and they just haven't been given a chance. 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:11.600 We're talking about onto sort of committed relationships and people 0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:13.200 are going to be spending a lot of time with 0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:16.440 their partners now. And I've seen a few news sites 0:15:16.480 --> 0:15:19.040 say that the divorce rate in China has gone up 0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:23.120 since people spent time with their partners. Do you have 0:15:23.200 --> 0:15:25.320 any tips of people who will be spending a long 0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:27.000 amount of time just with their partner. 0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:31.040 Oh, absolutely, do you know? Statistically March is meant to 0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:33.160 be the month of breakups. 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:33.560 In divorce. 0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:39.680 Because it's a change of across the globe, is a 0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:43.640 change of seasons. People, you know, they've spent Christmas together, 0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:45.720 they didn't want to break up to Christmas, and they've 0:15:46.160 --> 0:15:48.840 held out for Valentine's Day and then they're finally it 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:50.240 enough where they don't want. 0:15:50.120 --> 0:15:53.920 To spend winter together or the son together. 0:15:54.480 --> 0:15:58.320 So they're starting things about their optionsus now they're in lockdown. 0:15:58.440 --> 0:16:00.920 I've known people who have broken up and there in lockdown. 0:16:01.040 --> 0:16:05.240 So they can cause some chales, but. 0:16:05.360 --> 0:16:08.080 At the same time, it could actually save a lot 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:12.200 of marriages because people who have been totally disconnected and 0:16:12.280 --> 0:16:17.160 focused on work, they actually are forced to be together. 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:20.520 So if you have that tension in your relationship, it's 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:25.560 quiless continuing to argue. So take a moment and think 0:16:25.600 --> 0:16:27.680 about all the things that you're grateful for. What do 0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:31.800 you appreciate about that person? Be really kind, Think about 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:34.640 the times when you first fell in love. Think about 0:16:34.680 --> 0:16:37.680 those moments as opposed to all the toxic stuff and 0:16:37.720 --> 0:16:40.360 then once you've had that opportunity to reconnect with them, 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:42.160 then you can decide, is there something I want to 0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:42.600 work on? 0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:46.200 Was it about me? Was it about the relationship? You know, 0:16:46.800 --> 0:16:47.560 we've got treaty. 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:49.720 And on the other hand, I suppose a lot of 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:52.160 people are going through a stressful time with their jobs 0:16:52.240 --> 0:16:55.200 up in the air and places shutting down. What are 0:16:55.240 --> 0:17:00.480 some tips with helping your partner overcome that stress? 0:17:00.480 --> 0:17:02.840 So important to be kind to them, be kind to 0:17:02.880 --> 0:17:07.440 yourself and just be there for them, let them, let 0:17:07.480 --> 0:17:10.639 them talk, let them be a little cranky, let them 0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:15.600 snap a little within reason, just excuse that they may 0:17:15.640 --> 0:17:18.160 not be the best version of themselves. And then once 0:17:18.840 --> 0:17:21.879 they've reset, then you can chat to them about options. 0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:26.920 There were always options in this world. To just make 0:17:26.960 --> 0:17:28.960 the most of every opportunity, no matter what. 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:31.520 I love I love it, Sophie sitting there nodding. I 0:17:31.520 --> 0:17:33.840 think she's had a few outbursts in front of her partner. 0:17:34.240 --> 0:17:35.639 He's been putting up with a lot, So I have 0:17:35.680 --> 0:17:38.000 to plan your your piece of advice there. 0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:40.680 What's a distressful time for all? 0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:45.200 Oh? It is, but just remember it will pass as well. 0:17:45.720 --> 0:17:47.679 You know, we've got some really great measures in place. 0:17:47.760 --> 0:17:51.840 The governments are blocking us down and giving us restrictions, 0:17:51.880 --> 0:17:54.359 so you know, we're. 0:17:54.280 --> 0:17:55.720 Talking about the long matter of time. 0:17:55.920 --> 0:17:58.160 I know, well, I'm sort of thinking about the lockdown, 0:17:58.200 --> 0:17:59.960 and you know, my boyfriend and I went and bought 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:02.399 some board games and stuff from Kmart to sort of 0:18:02.840 --> 0:18:05.880 kill some time. But do you have any cute date 0:18:06.000 --> 0:18:09.120 ideas for when people are in lockdown? Obviously we can't 0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:11.159 go out, but are there any fun things that you 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:12.359 can do at home? 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:18.560 But we absolutely stock up on some candles, you know, 0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:21.120 light light up the bathroom with candles. 0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:27.480 Now everyone's going to mass panic by candles. 0:18:25.280 --> 0:18:28.800 Yeah, panic by candles. You know, bath bombs, if you 0:18:28.840 --> 0:18:32.040 have a bath music massage. 0:18:32.440 --> 0:18:33.400 Just keep it simple. 0:18:34.280 --> 0:18:36.680 This is a little bit off topic, but I understand 0:18:36.720 --> 0:18:38.879 you did a bit of work with The Bachelor. Are 0:18:38.920 --> 0:18:40.760 you able to tell us a little bit about that 0:18:41.280 --> 0:18:43.680 for people that are sick of hearing about COVID nineteen 0:18:45.040 --> 0:18:45.440 help we. 0:18:45.400 --> 0:18:49.280 All over that? Yeah? Absolutely, What would you like to know? 0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:51.320 Well, what was your role specifically? 0:18:52.320 --> 0:18:54.920 Oh? So I helped them develop some of the compatibility 0:18:55.320 --> 0:18:58.760 between so we do some compatibility. 0:18:58.200 --> 0:19:00.200 Take between Mitchie and the girl. 0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:07.400 And I was just there to help him feel supported and. 0:19:08.080 --> 0:19:09.119 Without telling you what to do. 0:19:09.160 --> 0:19:13.159 It's giving him that giving him the tools to make 0:19:13.200 --> 0:19:16.440 his own decisions based on some science. 0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:17.440 Cool. 0:19:18.560 --> 0:19:20.560 Have you been watching maths because they've been doing a 0:19:20.560 --> 0:19:23.360 lot of the whole science and sniffing shirts and whatnot. 0:19:23.600 --> 0:19:25.520 Is that all a bit of a load of bullshit 0:19:25.640 --> 0:19:28.520 or is there actually some truth behind that? 0:19:28.520 --> 0:19:30.440 That's the truth, There is some truth. 0:19:30.720 --> 0:19:33.680 It's really funny when you're attracted to someone you really 0:19:33.720 --> 0:19:37.000 do desire the way they smell. When you lose attraction, 0:19:37.800 --> 0:19:41.760 something happens in the subconscious where you cannot stand the 0:19:41.800 --> 0:19:45.320 smell of someone even think about the people that are 0:19:45.600 --> 0:19:48.080 Maybe maybe there's someone attracts here and you're thinking a 0:19:48.119 --> 0:19:49.080 constant smell of him. 0:19:49.119 --> 0:19:50.080 I can't figure out why. 0:19:50.560 --> 0:19:53.600 Not that he's stinky, not that he's dirty or she's dirty. 0:19:53.640 --> 0:19:56.840 It's just a pheramone thing. So it is real, very real. 0:19:57.320 --> 0:19:58.840 Is that what you kind of have, like with your 0:19:58.880 --> 0:20:02.480 brothers or cousins. It's like that's the thing that puts 0:20:02.520 --> 0:20:02.800 you up. 0:20:03.680 --> 0:20:07.480 Yeah, that's right, yeap, you gotta hope that. Yeah, it's like, 0:20:07.600 --> 0:20:12.400 oh they do, and it's not it's just their smell. 0:20:12.560 --> 0:20:14.200 It's just it's a pheromone. 0:20:14.240 --> 0:20:17.000 It's a hormones. You're just not attracted to them. 0:20:17.280 --> 0:20:20.480 How is such a subconscious saying, oh, don't go there. 0:20:21.040 --> 0:20:25.320 How is that affected by perfumes and that sort of thing, theodorant, deodorant. 0:20:25.359 --> 0:20:32.320 And it's interesting, the more perfume and deodorant that you 0:20:32.400 --> 0:20:36.040 pop all over yourself, it doesn't always have the most 0:20:36.040 --> 0:20:39.879 beneficial effects. So it's just a small amount. Especially if 0:20:39.920 --> 0:20:43.159 you live in really hot climates. It's better because that 0:20:43.400 --> 0:20:46.840 actually allows your natural pheromones to come through, whereas perfumes 0:20:46.880 --> 0:20:50.480 and colognes can actually confuse the senses. 0:20:51.000 --> 0:20:52.119 That's interesting and that. 0:20:52.600 --> 0:20:55.440 Yeah, but that's why when you think about it, when 0:20:55.440 --> 0:20:59.000