1 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,480 Speaker 1: They are so driven by variety of adventure. 2 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:09,600 Speaker 2: They will be speaking to so many women they probably 3 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:10,920 Speaker 2: won't even remember what they expect to. 4 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 1: Some of them even have spread teeth. 5 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:18,840 Speaker 2: It's so that some of them actually take every woman 6 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:23,439 Speaker 2: to the same place, so then they remember where they went. 7 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 2: What has been happening is the paradox of choice, So 8 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:32,480 Speaker 2: much choice. Let's see who else is out there, what's better? 9 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:38,800 Speaker 2: And whereas now it's like, oh, are they infected? Because 10 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:44,199 Speaker 2: really matter, when you're attracted to someone, you really do 11 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,840 Speaker 2: desire the way they smell. 12 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:47,160 Speaker 1: When you lose. 13 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 2: Attraction, something happens in the subconscious when you cannot stand 14 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:53,000 Speaker 2: the smell of someone. 15 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:57,320 Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Outspoken. Have you 16 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 3: ever been ghosted? 17 00:00:58,480 --> 00:00:59,120 Speaker 4: Catfished? 18 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 3: Or now COVID nineteen? Like every other aspect of life 19 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:05,400 Speaker 3: at the moment, the coronavirus has flipped the world of 20 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:09,600 Speaker 3: dating upside down and left us in uncharted waters. Today 21 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:12,760 Speaker 3: we speak to dating experts Samantha Jane from The Husband 22 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:17,760 Speaker 3: Project to help us navigate dating during a global pandemic. Samantha, 23 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:21,480 Speaker 3: welcome to Outspoken. I mean, we're obviously living in such 24 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,920 Speaker 3: a crazy moment with all of this coronavirus going on. 25 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,919 Speaker 3: How would you say it's affecting the dating world. 26 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 2: Oh, it's creating massive, massive changes where people are actually 27 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 2: resetting and thinking about their priorities. There actually has been 28 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:43,759 Speaker 2: a huge spike in online dating because people can't get 29 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 2: out there and simply say, hey, let's go for a drink. 30 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 2: You can't meet anyone offline, so online is the only option. 31 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:55,040 Speaker 2: But people are getting really strategic and they're more genuine 32 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 2: because this scare has just enabled them to think about 33 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 2: what's really got it and it's family and love that 34 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 2: really are the main factors and health. 35 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 3: Now, as a relationship expert, have you been inundated with 36 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 3: calls from people who are struggling in this time and 37 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,520 Speaker 3: are looking for help on how to actually date in 38 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:14,960 Speaker 3: this new world we're living in. 39 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,639 Speaker 2: Oh? Absolutely, Look I've had a mixed reaction to some people, 40 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:23,160 Speaker 2: you know, struck by fear and they're frozen, whereas most 41 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,280 Speaker 2: of them have said, look, I have a goal of 42 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,520 Speaker 2: meeting someone and I want to make it happen this year. 43 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:28,359 Speaker 1: What can I do? 44 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:32,400 Speaker 2: So we're looking at different ways I help with people 45 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 2: find avenues to connect with people online and so they 46 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:41,240 Speaker 2: can still achieve their goal of finding someone despite the times. 47 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 3: So what are some of those avenues Because I know 48 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 3: we've got a few friends who are looking supposed to 49 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,120 Speaker 3: meet that one person this year and feel a bit 50 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:49,079 Speaker 3: depressed about it all. 51 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:51,280 Speaker 4: How can people actually connect now? 52 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:56,680 Speaker 2: Yes, what's important is don't be depressed. Okay too, it 53 00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:01,080 Speaker 2: will pass. It is, you know, shocking, temporary thing, but 54 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:04,720 Speaker 2: think of it as an opportunity and get your priorities 55 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,000 Speaker 2: right and get out there. On dating apps, you mean, 56 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:11,040 Speaker 2: dating apps are really adapting to what's going on. They're 57 00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:15,920 Speaker 2: becoming because of the popularity. They're offering video chats so 58 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 2: you can go on a viral date. You don't need 59 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:23,079 Speaker 2: to leave home. Tinder and other apps that are also 60 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:28,639 Speaker 2: reminding people to keep safe, wash their hands, keep social distances. 61 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,919 Speaker 1: Well, now that's probably coming to an end with the social. 62 00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:37,280 Speaker 2: Distancing, but just being really responsible and getting out there. 63 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:40,040 Speaker 2: I would always recommend two or three apps, find your 64 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 2: favorite one or two and stick to them. Just be persistent. 65 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 3: And do you have any tips on making your profile 66 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,640 Speaker 3: stand out or what sort of photos we should be 67 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:50,600 Speaker 3: sharing at the moment? 68 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:51,839 Speaker 1: Oh? 69 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 2: Absolutely, the profile is everything and that's why it's super 70 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 2: important to get it right. 71 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 1: Because there are so many more people on life. It 72 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:01,120 Speaker 1: opens up. 73 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 2: More opportunities, but it also creates more competition. So have 74 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 2: a photo that is your absolute best. Out your friends 75 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 2: and family, you know, get some real genuine advice, get 76 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,560 Speaker 2: except help. So have a mix of head shots and 77 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:20,920 Speaker 2: body shots. You could limit it to about one group 78 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:24,600 Speaker 2: shot as long as everyone's okay with being in your profile. 79 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:26,880 Speaker 1: What about I love men, though? 80 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 4: What about for the men? 81 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 3: Because they're always I always think that when men are 82 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,719 Speaker 3: topless on tindre or what or hinge or whatever, they 83 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:36,680 Speaker 3: must as be complete. I'll just say it, dickheads, do 84 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 3: you do you have Do you advise men not to 85 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 3: put up topless shots? 86 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 2: The men that see me would never in their wildest dreams. 87 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:46,359 Speaker 1: They just wouldn't. 88 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 2: The men that see me, you know, they're genuine, they've 89 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,360 Speaker 2: got family, are ownedo, they've got good intentions. The topless 90 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,800 Speaker 2: shots are really just an alarm bell that women should 91 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 2: just run from. 92 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:01,240 Speaker 1: Because those guys arey hair ladys, we're good. I have 93 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 1: to offer no good. 94 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,679 Speaker 3: I suppose one of the benefits now of having online 95 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 3: dating or you know, being forced to do it, is 96 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:11,680 Speaker 3: that you're actually going to start building some genuine connections 97 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:14,240 Speaker 3: with people. Do you think this is kind of a 98 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,559 Speaker 3: good time, a good thing for millennials at the moment? 99 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 2: Oh, it really is, because millennials have this hookup culture. 100 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:25,679 Speaker 2: And that's actually even though it's the culture, it actually 101 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,000 Speaker 2: saddens a lot. It creates a lot of anxiety and 102 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 2: depression and loneliness. So this hookup culture will have to disappear, 103 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 2: even if it's temporarily. But when when things go back 104 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 2: to normal, I think it will change the way they 105 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:41,360 Speaker 2: date and they will become more real about things. 106 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,960 Speaker 3: And how do you think these you know, so called 107 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:46,640 Speaker 3: fuck boys and players will have to adapt to these 108 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,520 Speaker 3: kind of uncharted waters at the moment. 109 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:51,200 Speaker 1: Oh no, they're not going to like it, are they. 110 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:54,440 Speaker 2: They're really big on like, okay, let's get to it, 111 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:59,360 Speaker 2: let's meet up, So. 112 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,160 Speaker 1: They're not going to like it at all. 113 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:03,240 Speaker 2: They're probably going to be the ones that encourage or 114 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,480 Speaker 2: pressure you into that virtual sex, or they'll be willing 115 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 2: to do it dirty talk fast. They are so driven 116 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,280 Speaker 2: by variety in adventure, they will be speaking to so 117 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 2: many women they probably won't even remember what they're speaking 118 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:16,919 Speaker 2: to you fast that some of them even have spreadsheets 119 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:21,680 Speaker 2: that's so bizarre. Yeah, some of these guys have spreadsheet. 120 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:26,719 Speaker 2: Some of them actually take every woman to the same place, 121 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 2: so then they remember where they went. 122 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 1: Bizar. 123 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:33,479 Speaker 2: Yeah, don't have date one, two, three, for five, six, 124 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:37,800 Speaker 2: whatever it is, and they'll know, Okay, this restaurant, you know, 125 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,120 Speaker 2: that event, that theater, whatever it is. 126 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:44,120 Speaker 1: He just can't get so terrible. 127 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,040 Speaker 2: And they're really. 128 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,359 Speaker 3: Guys sitting and watching like the same movie at the 129 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:48,800 Speaker 3: cinema over and over again. 130 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 1: Yeah. 131 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:54,679 Speaker 2: Absolutely, Yeah, And there's guys have spreadsheets. I've seen it. 132 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:55,680 Speaker 2: It's bizarre. 133 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:57,920 Speaker 3: What sort of information is on the spreadsheet? 134 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,679 Speaker 4: Oh, if you can say. 135 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:08,440 Speaker 2: The names, the age, I think crew, all those things 136 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 2: are back finding the school that you went to. 137 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, you think. Oh, he's such a thoughtful guy and 138 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 1: an actual factor. He's just got to keep in data. 139 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,400 Speaker 3: So what are the signs to spotting that somebody might 140 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 3: be doing this to you? 141 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,840 Speaker 1: Do? You know? The funny thing is it's it's all 142 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:31,680 Speaker 1: about intuition. 143 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 2: Intuition pays a huge role in this, and you just 144 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,600 Speaker 2: have to you just have to trust you that feel 145 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 2: if something doesn't feel right or he's so smooth and 146 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 2: he's so good at making you feel so amazing. 147 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 1: Don't think that you're the only woman who's doing that too. 148 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:54,880 Speaker 1: I mean, the good guys, they don't really. 149 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:58,560 Speaker 2: Have much of a clue as to how to spark 150 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:02,760 Speaker 2: that attraction initially. So if you're feeling too connected with 151 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,600 Speaker 2: the guy because he says the right things, that is 152 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:06,920 Speaker 2: a massive alarm belt. 153 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:10,440 Speaker 1: He is very good at what he's doing. He's a 154 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 1: practice data. 155 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:15,800 Speaker 3: That's some good tips. That just making me think back 156 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:18,360 Speaker 3: to a lot of people over the years. I think 157 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,320 Speaker 3: there's some great advice for women. I mean, I suppose 158 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 3: we're focusing on coronavirus, but I also think a lot 159 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 3: of people have written into us asking sort. 160 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 4: Of how do you know that a guy actually likes you? 161 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 3: And I feel like you're the best person to ask 162 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 3: that question too. 163 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: Thanks. How do you know if a guy likes him? 164 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 2: Well, he puts in the effort and he actually you know, 165 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 2: I have this. 166 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:48,360 Speaker 1: This is your listeners might be interested. I haven't actually downloaded. 167 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,760 Speaker 2: It's actually the poor Tactic man, and it teaches you 168 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,480 Speaker 2: the different traits to look for in a man and 169 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 2: how he behaves. So realistically, if a man is interested 170 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,199 Speaker 2: in you, you'll know it. He'll make the time to 171 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,320 Speaker 2: see you. He'll listen to what you're saying what's important 172 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:05,680 Speaker 2: to you. You might mention something like the art gallery 173 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,679 Speaker 2: next night, you know what, you're going to the art gallery. 174 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 2: Or he asked you specific questions about your family. He 175 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 2: asks you questions to really connect with you, and he 176 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:19,480 Speaker 2: remembers as opposed to a guy who's just talking to 177 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:22,120 Speaker 2: you about how sexy you are and how beautiful you are. 178 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:25,679 Speaker 2: I mean, that's he that's all lovely to hear, but 179 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 2: you know that guy is interested in one thing. 180 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 1: It's like getting you into the stack. 181 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:37,480 Speaker 3: That's some very good advice talking about online dating, and 182 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 3: I'm guessing there's going to be a lot of nudes 183 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,760 Speaker 3: that are being sent around. What would your advice be 184 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:44,880 Speaker 3: to women that are thinking of doing that. Do you 185 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:46,840 Speaker 3: say yes, go for it, or maybe rethink? 186 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 2: Oh, I definitely rethink it, really really rethink it, because 187 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,960 Speaker 2: once it's out there, you can't you don't know where 188 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:55,920 Speaker 2: it's going to go, you. 189 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:59,640 Speaker 1: Can't retract it, and it could be used against you. 190 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:03,320 Speaker 2: There's a lot of scary people online as well that 191 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 2: could you know, could potentially be black mail. 192 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 1: It's just don't do things that you're not comfortable doing. 193 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:13,440 Speaker 2: And realistically wait until you meet the guy before you 194 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:14,760 Speaker 2: actually show him some skin. 195 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:18,000 Speaker 4: I think that's awesome. 196 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's such a great opportunity at the moment to 197 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 3: build more of a meaningful connection with someone through just 198 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:24,600 Speaker 3: talking and chatting. 199 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,240 Speaker 4: What's also your advice for someone who. 200 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,440 Speaker 3: Might feel a little bit awkward just talking to someone 201 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,240 Speaker 3: on FaceTime or over the phone that they haven't met before. 202 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,439 Speaker 2: Okay, so just be prepared like you would be for 203 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 2: a job interview. You would practice your question so I 204 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:44,400 Speaker 2: would have a good sort of half a dozen questions 205 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:47,679 Speaker 2: under your belt that you can ask that person if 206 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:50,560 Speaker 2: you're getting stuck for words. And when you are connecting 207 00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:53,599 Speaker 2: and communicating with them, you know you can be flatty. 208 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 1: By giving compliments. 209 00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:58,280 Speaker 2: You can ask about their favorite places in the world 210 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,920 Speaker 2: or the ideal weekend, which you a lot about their 211 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:05,520 Speaker 2: values and I'll tell you about their lifestyle and to 212 00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 2: see how aligned you are, and just keep things really positive, lighthearted. 213 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:14,959 Speaker 2: And the great thing is if you're speaking online like that, 214 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:16,800 Speaker 2: you can just quickly look to the side and check 215 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,160 Speaker 2: out your questions because they won't know what you're doing. 216 00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:20,280 Speaker 4: That's really good. 217 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,319 Speaker 3: Well, one thing that I have seen popping up a 218 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:25,560 Speaker 3: little bit is people's exes are getting back in touch 219 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,840 Speaker 3: with them in this sort of crisis at the moment. 220 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,000 Speaker 4: Have you heard about that? And that is there a 221 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,000 Speaker 4: reason behind that? 222 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:31,640 Speaker 1: Oh? 223 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:36,640 Speaker 2: Absolutely, humans are creatures of habit, and you have to 224 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:38,439 Speaker 2: remember your ex as an expert reason. 225 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:46,000 Speaker 1: In uncertain times, our first human need, our core need, 226 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:46,800 Speaker 1: is certainty. 227 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:52,800 Speaker 2: So we look for certainty in times of stress and anxiety, 228 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:57,200 Speaker 2: and we are looking for that familiarity because that feels safe. 229 00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,520 Speaker 2: So it's really natural to go back to your ex 230 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:02,720 Speaker 2: because you know that person, But we have to remember 231 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 2: they're not much safer than somebody new. It's just about 232 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 2: you grounding yourself, being the best version of you, feeling 233 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,439 Speaker 2: really confident, and that's the time you should be getting 234 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:18,200 Speaker 2: out and exploring your options. So now as an opportunity 235 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:23,079 Speaker 2: to really work on any insecurities and anxieties that you have. 236 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,440 Speaker 3: And at the moment, as we are still allowed to 237 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,280 Speaker 3: be leaving our houses and I mean still kind of 238 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,320 Speaker 3: meeting people to a certain extent, do you think that 239 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,960 Speaker 3: the topic of exclusivity is going to be coming up 240 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,360 Speaker 3: more and more because there's kind of more fear over 241 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 3: if someone is seeing new people in. 242 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:42,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, locking someone in for that long period of time. 243 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:43,880 Speaker 4: It might be lockdown. 244 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:45,600 Speaker 1: Totally. 245 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,680 Speaker 2: I mean even going down to the shopping mall, it's like, oh, 246 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,040 Speaker 2: you're not social distancing. 247 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:51,960 Speaker 1: So you know, with. 248 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:55,199 Speaker 2: Dating, it's no longer just about condoms and STIs. 249 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:59,760 Speaker 1: It's more about okay, are we exclusive? Who are you seeing? 250 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,840 Speaker 1: That is definitely going to be a hot topic. Definitely 251 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:04,800 Speaker 1: you can lock them in quicker. 252 00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:05,719 Speaker 2: Now. 253 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,360 Speaker 3: You talk a lot about the science of love. Can 254 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,679 Speaker 3: you feel us in a little bit about I spoke 255 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,040 Speaker 3: the science of love and I suppose how is it 256 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:16,160 Speaker 3: going to change with people not being able to see 257 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 3: people face to face? 258 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:27,200 Speaker 2: Well, it's definitely interesting times we people the phases of 259 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:30,920 Speaker 2: love that love to plays a huge part in this, 260 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:37,000 Speaker 2: So people tend to get quite physical quickly, and relationships 261 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:42,440 Speaker 2: often start quickly and end quickly versus Now it's more 262 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 2: about creating that an emotional connection and actually getting to 263 00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:53,480 Speaker 2: that space of feeling like they're actually potentially going to 264 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,040 Speaker 2: be a part of your life where you can help 265 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:57,640 Speaker 2: build true connections. 266 00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:02,120 Speaker 1: So it's no longer just this hook up culture. 267 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:07,680 Speaker 2: It's more more now about genuine love, genuine connections to 268 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:11,119 Speaker 2: know someone first, instead of using. 269 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:11,719 Speaker 1: Like right now. 270 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:14,520 Speaker 2: What is happening in life or what has been happening 271 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:17,840 Speaker 2: is the paradox of choice, so much choice. Let's see 272 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,880 Speaker 2: who else is out there, what's better? And whereas now 273 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,400 Speaker 2: it's like, oh are they infected? 274 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,560 Speaker 4: There's a new check. 275 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:30,800 Speaker 1: What's really you know, I might raise my standards a bit. 276 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:35,080 Speaker 2: I might be, you know, thinking more about what's truly 277 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:39,600 Speaker 2: important and love will come from this as opposed to blust. 278 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,600 Speaker 3: I'm wondering if this is going to be a good 279 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:43,960 Speaker 3: time for people that have like the boys that are 280 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,640 Speaker 3: in the friend zone, because they're still kind of there, 281 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,520 Speaker 3: but now girls might be like, well, shit, like, you know, 282 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:53,400 Speaker 3: I've got some time, so maybe I'll you know, unfriend them. 283 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:56,600 Speaker 2: It is totally a good time for the friend zone 284 00:14:56,680 --> 00:15:02,040 Speaker 2: guys because they are the ones that feel safe. And 285 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:05,000 Speaker 2: often the guys in the friend zone are actually really 286 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,760 Speaker 2: good men and they just haven't been given a chance. 287 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:11,600 Speaker 3: We're talking about onto sort of committed relationships and people 288 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:13,200 Speaker 3: are going to be spending a lot of time with 289 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:16,440 Speaker 3: their partners now. And I've seen a few news sites 290 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,040 Speaker 3: say that the divorce rate in China has gone up 291 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 3: since people spent time with their partners. Do you have 292 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,320 Speaker 3: any tips of people who will be spending a long 293 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,000 Speaker 3: amount of time just with their partner. 294 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:31,040 Speaker 2: Oh, absolutely, do you know? Statistically March is meant to 295 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:33,160 Speaker 2: be the month of breakups. 296 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:33,560 Speaker 4: In divorce. 297 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,680 Speaker 2: Because it's a change of across the globe, is a 298 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:43,640 Speaker 2: change of seasons. People, you know, they've spent Christmas together, 299 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:45,720 Speaker 2: they didn't want to break up to Christmas, and they've 300 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:48,840 Speaker 2: held out for Valentine's Day and then they're finally it 301 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 2: enough where they don't want. 302 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:53,920 Speaker 1: To spend winter together or the son together. 303 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:58,320 Speaker 2: So they're starting things about their optionsus now they're in lockdown. 304 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,920 Speaker 1: I've known people who have broken up and there in lockdown. 305 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:05,240 Speaker 1: So they can cause some chales, but. 306 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:08,080 Speaker 2: At the same time, it could actually save a lot 307 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:12,200 Speaker 2: of marriages because people who have been totally disconnected and 308 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:17,160 Speaker 2: focused on work, they actually are forced to be together. 309 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:20,520 Speaker 2: So if you have that tension in your relationship, it's 310 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:25,560 Speaker 2: quiless continuing to argue. So take a moment and think 311 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,680 Speaker 2: about all the things that you're grateful for. What do 312 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:31,800 Speaker 2: you appreciate about that person? Be really kind, Think about 313 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,640 Speaker 2: the times when you first fell in love. Think about 314 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,680 Speaker 2: those moments as opposed to all the toxic stuff and 315 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,360 Speaker 2: then once you've had that opportunity to reconnect with them, 316 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,160 Speaker 2: then you can decide, is there something I want to 317 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:42,600 Speaker 2: work on? 318 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,200 Speaker 1: Was it about me? Was it about the relationship? You know, 319 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:47,560 Speaker 1: we've got treaty. 320 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,720 Speaker 3: And on the other hand, I suppose a lot of 321 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:52,160 Speaker 3: people are going through a stressful time with their jobs 322 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,200 Speaker 3: up in the air and places shutting down. What are 323 00:16:55,240 --> 00:17:00,480 Speaker 3: some tips with helping your partner overcome that stress? 324 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:02,840 Speaker 2: So important to be kind to them, be kind to 325 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:07,440 Speaker 2: yourself and just be there for them, let them, let 326 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:10,639 Speaker 2: them talk, let them be a little cranky, let them 327 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:15,600 Speaker 2: snap a little within reason, just excuse that they may 328 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:18,160 Speaker 2: not be the best version of themselves. And then once 329 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:21,879 Speaker 2: they've reset, then you can chat to them about options. 330 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:26,920 Speaker 2: There were always options in this world. To just make 331 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,960 Speaker 2: the most of every opportunity, no matter what. 332 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,520 Speaker 3: I love I love it, Sophie sitting there nodding. I 333 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:33,840 Speaker 3: think she's had a few outbursts in front of her partner. 334 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:35,639 Speaker 3: He's been putting up with a lot, So I have 335 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,000 Speaker 3: to plan your your piece of advice there. 336 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:40,680 Speaker 4: What's a distressful time for all? 337 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:45,200 Speaker 2: Oh? It is, but just remember it will pass as well. 338 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:47,679 Speaker 2: You know, we've got some really great measures in place. 339 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:51,840 Speaker 2: The governments are blocking us down and giving us restrictions, 340 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,359 Speaker 2: so you know, we're. 341 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:55,720 Speaker 1: Talking about the long matter of time. 342 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,160 Speaker 3: I know, well, I'm sort of thinking about the lockdown, 343 00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,960 Speaker 3: and you know, my boyfriend and I went and bought 344 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,399 Speaker 3: some board games and stuff from Kmart to sort of 345 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,880 Speaker 3: kill some time. But do you have any cute date 346 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,120 Speaker 3: ideas for when people are in lockdown? Obviously we can't 347 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,159 Speaker 3: go out, but are there any fun things that you 348 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,359 Speaker 3: can do at home? 349 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 2: But we absolutely stock up on some candles, you know, 350 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,120 Speaker 2: light light up the bathroom with candles. 351 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 3: Now everyone's going to mass panic by candles. 352 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:28,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, panic by candles. You know, bath bombs, if you 353 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:32,040 Speaker 2: have a bath music massage. 354 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:33,400 Speaker 1: Just keep it simple. 355 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,680 Speaker 3: This is a little bit off topic, but I understand 356 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:38,879 Speaker 3: you did a bit of work with The Bachelor. Are 357 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:40,760 Speaker 3: you able to tell us a little bit about that 358 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,680 Speaker 3: for people that are sick of hearing about COVID nineteen 359 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:45,440 Speaker 3: help we. 360 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:49,280 Speaker 1: All over that? Yeah? Absolutely, What would you like to know? 361 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,320 Speaker 4: Well, what was your role specifically? 362 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,920 Speaker 2: Oh? So I helped them develop some of the compatibility 363 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:58,760 Speaker 2: between so we do some compatibility. 364 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,200 Speaker 1: Take between Mitchie and the girl. 365 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:07,400 Speaker 2: And I was just there to help him feel supported and. 366 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,119 Speaker 1: Without telling you what to do. 367 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:13,159 Speaker 2: It's giving him that giving him the tools to make 368 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,440 Speaker 2: his own decisions based on some science. 369 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:17,440 Speaker 1: Cool. 370 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:20,560 Speaker 3: Have you been watching maths because they've been doing a 371 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,360 Speaker 3: lot of the whole science and sniffing shirts and whatnot. 372 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:25,520 Speaker 3: Is that all a bit of a load of bullshit 373 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,520 Speaker 3: or is there actually some truth behind that? 374 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,440 Speaker 1: That's the truth, There is some truth. 375 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,680 Speaker 2: It's really funny when you're attracted to someone you really 376 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:37,000 Speaker 2: do desire the way they smell. When you lose attraction, 377 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:41,760 Speaker 2: something happens in the subconscious where you cannot stand the 378 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:45,320 Speaker 2: smell of someone even think about the people that are 379 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,080 Speaker 2: Maybe maybe there's someone attracts here and you're thinking a 380 00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:49,080 Speaker 2: constant smell of him. 381 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:50,080 Speaker 1: I can't figure out why. 382 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,600 Speaker 2: Not that he's stinky, not that he's dirty or she's dirty. 383 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,840 Speaker 2: It's just a pheramone thing. So it is real, very real. 384 00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 3: Is that what you kind of have, like with your 385 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,480 Speaker 3: brothers or cousins. It's like that's the thing that puts 386 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:02,800 Speaker 3: you up. 387 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:07,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right, yeap, you gotta hope that. Yeah, it's like, 388 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:12,400 Speaker 2: oh they do, and it's not it's just their smell. 389 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,200 Speaker 2: It's just it's a pheromone. 390 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:17,000 Speaker 1: It's a hormones. You're just not attracted to them. 391 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,480 Speaker 2: How is such a subconscious saying, oh, don't go there. 392 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:25,320 Speaker 3: How is that affected by perfumes and that sort of thing, theodorant, deodorant. 393 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:32,320 Speaker 2: And it's interesting, the more perfume and deodorant that you 394 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:36,040 Speaker 2: pop all over yourself, it doesn't always have the most 395 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:39,879 Speaker 2: beneficial effects. So it's just a small amount. Especially if 396 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,159 Speaker 2: you live in really hot climates. It's better because that 397 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,840 Speaker 2: actually allows your natural pheromones to come through, whereas perfumes 398 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:50,480 Speaker 2: and colognes can actually confuse the senses. 399 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,119 Speaker 4: That's interesting and that. 400 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's why when you think about it, when 401 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:59,000 Speaker 2: you're buy perfume, it may smell amazing on you, but 402 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:04,480 Speaker 2: same on you, it might not, And that's chemistry in 403 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:05,480 Speaker 2: your skin. 404 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:11,440 Speaker 3: So that's what you stink. To their case, I was 405 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,480 Speaker 3: going to just us back to commitment. I suppose you've 406 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,840 Speaker 3: spoken a bit in the past about how to make 407 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,439 Speaker 3: a man commit to you, and I'm assuming there's going 408 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,680 Speaker 3: to be a lot of women, or i suppose men 409 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:23,879 Speaker 3: for that matter, wanting women to commit to them. What 410 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,439 Speaker 3: would your advice be to someone who's wanting that special 411 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:27,679 Speaker 3: person in their life to commit. 412 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,120 Speaker 2: First of all, make sure you pick the right person, 413 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,600 Speaker 2: because that is key. Some people are easier to commit 414 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:38,359 Speaker 2: inspire to commit than others. Some people will have a 415 00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:43,440 Speaker 2: better relationship with So when it comes to getting someone 416 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:46,679 Speaker 2: to commit, it's all about how they feel around you. 417 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:48,800 Speaker 2: And inspiring a man to commit or a woman to 418 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:52,720 Speaker 2: commit is actually putting in them in a position where 419 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:56,240 Speaker 2: they fear losing you more than they fear losing their freedom. 420 00:21:56,480 --> 00:22:01,040 Speaker 2: So this is about connecting with them positively. When they're 421 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:04,040 Speaker 2: away from you, they're thinking about you, they're feeling really 422 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:06,879 Speaker 2: amazing around you, and then they're just thinking, I want 423 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:11,160 Speaker 2: that person in my life. How do I keep them 424 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:12,720 Speaker 2: to make sure nobody else gets them? 425 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:13,440 Speaker 3: Oh? 426 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:16,240 Speaker 4: I like that. I'm talking about that. 427 00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:19,680 Speaker 3: There's some people that are saying that they're not going 428 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:22,160 Speaker 3: to date at all during this pandemic. 429 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:24,640 Speaker 4: Do you think that's the right thing. 430 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:26,159 Speaker 3: To do or do you think people should be a 431 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,480 Speaker 3: bit more open minded. 432 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,919 Speaker 2: Look, I've heard people say that too. I think it's 433 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,879 Speaker 2: really important to look after your mental health. So some 434 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,000 Speaker 2: people like I'm not going to date during this pandemic, 435 00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:40,320 Speaker 2: you need to consider what is the isolation going to do? 436 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,639 Speaker 2: Is it more beneficial to even chat to people and 437 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:47,240 Speaker 2: connect just like we are today. It's just a chat 438 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 2: as opposed to locking yourself down, because when you lock 439 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,919 Speaker 2: yourself down, you're watching the news. You could just be 440 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:58,720 Speaker 2: overcome and overwhelmed by all that scary stuff out there. 441 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,439 Speaker 3: For anyone who's interest said to hear more of your advice, 442 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,000 Speaker 3: where can they find you online? 443 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 2: Jump on to Samantha Jane dot com today, I'd love 444 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:07,639 Speaker 2: to hear from. 445 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,080 Speaker 4: You, beautiful. Thank you so much for your time. 446 00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:13,199 Speaker 3: We've really appreciated hearing of your amazing advice and hopefully 447 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,600 Speaker 3: it can help someone out there who's you know, arming 448 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,760 Speaker 3: and airing about whether they should jump into dating at 449 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:18,200 Speaker 3: this time. 450 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:21,320 Speaker 1: My pleasure. Thanks for having me