WEBVTT - Rebounds - Getting over it, by getting under it 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:05.280 Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout 0:00:05.320 --> 0:00:09.080 Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We 0:00:09.160 --> 0:00:11.920 pay our respect to their elders past and present and 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:15.360 extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander 0:00:15.360 --> 0:00:16.120 peoples today. 0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:39.279 This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation. Hi, 0:00:39.360 --> 0:00:43.600 guys and all, welcome back to another episode that was 0:00:43.800 --> 0:00:44.840 very your hands. 0:00:44.520 --> 0:00:47.360 On your heart that it was very emotional. Is it 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:50.040 emotional because it's our second last episode of the year. Well, 0:00:50.040 --> 0:00:50.360 it's not. 0:00:50.560 --> 0:00:53.280 It's the second last week, second last Tuesday. 0:00:53.520 --> 0:00:56.720 Ah. Here sheeses, ladies and gentlemen. It's Brittany Hockley coming 0:00:56.720 --> 0:01:00.400 in from behind. Well I'm Brittany. I'm also Laura. Ah. 0:01:00.680 --> 0:01:02.720 Hi everybody, it's been a hell of a doozy of 0:01:02.720 --> 0:01:04.400 a weekend. What did you do this weekend? 0:01:04.480 --> 0:01:05.679 We do? You know? I want to know why you 0:01:05.680 --> 0:01:06.520 feel like it's a doozy. 0:01:06.560 --> 0:01:08.480 I don't know if you've spoken about this on the pond, 0:01:08.520 --> 0:01:10.800 but you've had tons of lightis like you've been very 0:01:10.920 --> 0:01:12.759 unwell and I. 0:01:12.720 --> 0:01:14.640 Think I think we haven't spoken about it. I think 0:01:14.640 --> 0:01:15.360 it's catching up. 0:01:15.240 --> 0:01:17.880 With you, but just keep on plowing through. I just 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:20.240 keep pretending like I'm not sick. And then the other 0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:21.560 day I went to the doctors and she was like, 0:01:21.560 --> 0:01:23.800 can we run your bloods? Because she's like, you're really 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:27.160 think you're really sick? And I was like, Noah, I'm fine, man, 0:01:27.680 --> 0:01:28.680 everything is good. 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:31.640 It's also hard when it's your tonsils and you talk 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:33.440 for a living like it's not one of those things 0:01:33.480 --> 0:01:35.520 where you can just go and rest, just a little 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:37.160 salt or to gargle, babe. 0:01:36.959 --> 0:01:39.640 You do You've been gargling a lot at my house? Yeah? Sorry, 0:01:39.720 --> 0:01:42.120 Well what do I do this weekend? Nothing's too exciting? 0:01:42.240 --> 0:01:45.360 You were to be honest, And I want to know, 0:01:45.560 --> 0:01:49.560 how's the guy? How's the dating that's been happening recently? 0:01:50.760 --> 0:01:56.880 I have been dating someone, yes, loosely, you loosely, yeah, 0:01:56.960 --> 0:02:00.160 but like for a little bit now, but not like, well, 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:01.200 it's not like we're exclusive. 0:02:01.560 --> 0:02:01.880 I don't know. 0:02:01.920 --> 0:02:03.880 I feel like it's not overly serious, yap, and maybe 0:02:03.920 --> 0:02:06.080 And then you're like, I can't say that because and 0:02:06.120 --> 0:02:08.040 what if he hears this and then he thinks it's serious, 0:02:08.040 --> 0:02:10.160 And then you've just said it's serious, and oh dear. 0:02:10.120 --> 0:02:13.640 God, it's a fucking mindfield and he listens to an episode, 0:02:13.680 --> 0:02:16.440 so yeah, I have to be careful. Well, can I say, 0:02:16.520 --> 0:02:18.200 I don't know how you would explain it. I don't 0:02:18.240 --> 0:02:20.520 know what the label is right now. It's serious without 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:22.960 being serious. I think it's going that way, but it's 0:02:22.960 --> 0:02:23.600 not there yet. 0:02:23.840 --> 0:02:25.440 It's so annoying, isn't it when it's just in that 0:02:25.520 --> 0:02:27.240 land of like ambiguity? 0:02:27.360 --> 0:02:28.160 Yeah, what's it called? 0:02:28.240 --> 0:02:31.839 Like? It's no man's land called purgatory, pergos, dating, doning, 0:02:31.960 --> 0:02:34.760 heaven and I'm not now it's dating purgatory, I hope 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:37.200 on the way out, but but I don't know. No, 0:02:37.320 --> 0:02:39.920 So that's going very well. I will be seeing him 0:02:39.960 --> 0:02:40.960 over the Christmas period. 0:02:41.080 --> 0:02:42.799 What are you doing for Christmas? Brit Well? 0:02:42.840 --> 0:02:49.080 I booked flights last night, Laura, shit, I booked flights overseas. 0:02:49.480 --> 0:02:51.640 I'm going to be handing overseas for the festive season. 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:54.640 I thought, I am going to lay it all on 0:02:54.720 --> 0:02:57.519 the line here because he actually doesn't live here. As 0:02:57.720 --> 0:02:59.760 you know, we know that that's a common theme for me. 0:03:00.360 --> 0:03:02.160 He doesn't live here, So I am going to go 0:03:02.200 --> 0:03:05.320 and investigate what that looks like and if it's going 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:07.200 to be something that I want to investigate further. 0:03:07.560 --> 0:03:09.320 We had a conversation about this in the car the 0:03:09.360 --> 0:03:11.440 other day and britt was like, look, Laura, I'm gonna 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:13.919 go down. You said, I'm gonna go overseas and I'm 0:03:13.919 --> 0:03:16.480 going to see him, and the worst thing that's gonna 0:03:16.520 --> 0:03:19.280 happen is that I'm gonna have the best sex of 0:03:19.280 --> 0:03:21.760 my life for like two weeks and then I'll come 0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:24.040 home and it'll be fine. And I was like, no, Brittany, 0:03:24.280 --> 0:03:26.040 the worst thing that's going to happen is you're going 0:03:26.080 --> 0:03:28.239 to fall in love with someone who lives overseas. 0:03:28.360 --> 0:03:31.119 Yeah. I was like, worst case scenario, Worst case scenario. 0:03:31.120 --> 0:03:34.160 But I'm very happy holiday. This fucking sounds great. Oh 0:03:34.280 --> 0:03:41.080 don't take that headline like Britty goes man. I just 0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:42.920 hated to one a plant of these days, don't I. 0:03:43.080 --> 0:03:44.880 Okay, it does sound like you're going to have a 0:03:44.880 --> 0:03:46.080 fucking great Christmas. 0:03:46.120 --> 0:03:47.760 Though, well, I'm at this. 0:03:47.720 --> 0:03:49.600 Point in and I'm and a lot of people out there. No, 0:03:49.680 --> 0:03:51.200 you're at that point where you don't know what something 0:03:51.240 --> 0:03:52.840 is yet. There's only one way to find out, and 0:03:52.840 --> 0:03:54.960 that is to go to Scotland. But as I love 0:03:55.000 --> 0:03:57.440 to say, my favorite quote risk it for the biscuit 0:03:57.440 --> 0:03:59.080 because it doesn't rain, it pause right. 0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:01.320 And for me, it's in a drought. For quite a while. 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:04.160 I started seeing this person that I'm very interested in, 0:04:04.320 --> 0:04:07.680 and since then someone from my past has come back 0:04:07.680 --> 0:04:10.040 and they're trying to you know, they're showing their interests again. 0:04:10.160 --> 0:04:13.400 And I was very honest, because I always am. I'm like, 0:04:13.440 --> 0:04:15.440 look that ship has sort of sailed. Now you missed 0:04:15.440 --> 0:04:16.160 the boat a little bit. 0:04:16.160 --> 0:04:16.400 There. 0:04:16.839 --> 0:04:19.720 I'm seeing someone. And then it went escalated. I love 0:04:19.720 --> 0:04:21.479 you though, I love you, that's what and I was like, 0:04:21.520 --> 0:04:24.440 you don't. I said, you don't. It's just because I do, 0:04:24.880 --> 0:04:26.839 you know, I want this kind of thing, and what 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:28.320 do you do with that? I was like, I don't 0:04:28.320 --> 0:04:30.120 know what else to tell you. I'm seeing someone. And 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:33.159 we had this conversation again last couple of weeks. When 0:04:33.160 --> 0:04:34.880 someone thinks they kind have you, they want you ten 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:36.000 times more, which. 0:04:35.800 --> 0:04:38.719 I think now after three years, three hundred and forty 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:40.200 episodes of this podcast, I see it. 0:04:40.560 --> 0:04:41.920 Yeah, you can sniff that out. 0:04:42.000 --> 0:04:43.640 You're like, you're not in love with me, you're in 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:45.840 love with not being able to have me, so therefore 0:04:45.880 --> 0:04:46.400 you want me. 0:04:46.760 --> 0:04:48.279 Yeah, this is really unhealthy. 0:04:48.440 --> 0:04:52.560 Yeah, I am a relationship therapist, unqualified. 0:04:52.600 --> 0:04:55.160 There is still absolutely no paperwork on either of our walls. 0:04:55.200 --> 0:04:56.839 But you know what, We'll keep on trying well. I 0:04:56.839 --> 0:04:58.880 will either come back in the new year. 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:01.440 It's either going to You're either going to get like 0:05:01.520 --> 0:05:05.640 happy in lust love Brittany, or you're going to get 0:05:05.760 --> 0:05:06.880 heartbroken Brittany. 0:05:06.880 --> 0:05:09.640 So we don't nobody can handle heartbroken Brittany again. 0:05:09.680 --> 0:05:12.920 No one wants. I don't want that for you. I 0:05:12.960 --> 0:05:14.680 think you're thinking about you. You're like, oh, I'm going 0:05:14.760 --> 0:05:16.040 to be dragging around a bed again. 0:05:16.200 --> 0:05:17.840 No, it's not for me. I don't want you to 0:05:17.880 --> 0:05:20.359 be heartbroken again. That's a horrible thing to have to 0:05:20.400 --> 0:05:22.919 go through, and I don't ever want that for you. Okay, 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:26.120 but I'm very excited that you have, truly, because we're 0:05:26.160 --> 0:05:27.960 taking five weeks off, guys, like this is going to 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:30.200 be a big Christmas holiday break for us this year. 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:33.080 We have this week of episodes, we have next week 0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:35.599 of episodes. We have a really great episode next week 0:05:35.640 --> 0:05:38.279 planned which I think will be very relevant for everybody 0:05:38.320 --> 0:05:40.960 heading into the Christmas period, very topical. But then we're 0:05:40.960 --> 0:05:42.960 taking five weeks off and we're not back until kind 0:05:43.000 --> 0:05:44.919 of like the end of jan for some real R 0:05:44.960 --> 0:05:48.280 and R before we come back absolutely steaming into. 0:05:48.000 --> 0:05:48.800 Twenty twenty three. 0:05:49.120 --> 0:05:51.400 And I'm very happy that you're having what is going 0:05:51.440 --> 0:05:54.520 to be a rejuvenating experience. 0:05:53.920 --> 0:05:58.880 For your whole body. It's called holistic health. How are you? 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:02.240 Was what happened on your weekend? Do anything eventful? Did 0:06:02.240 --> 0:06:04.960 anybums on you? I'm amazing sex? 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:07.320 Well, thank you? No, I didn't have any sex. I 0:06:07.360 --> 0:06:09.599 went to Okay, this was my weekend. My kids have 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:12.400 the best social life and I don't have a social life. 0:06:12.400 --> 0:06:14.480 I have a better social life than we do. Literally. 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:18.240 So Saturday morning, I went to the preschool Christmas party. 0:06:18.480 --> 0:06:20.600 We had sausages in the park and there was face 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:23.880 painting and Santa came and gave out Christmas presents. 0:06:24.200 --> 0:06:25.360 Wow, it's a really big deal. 0:06:25.640 --> 0:06:27.520 Yeah, I mean that's where all of our school fees 0:06:27.560 --> 0:06:31.400 go to. Like, daycare is so expensive and now I know, why. 0:06:31.240 --> 0:06:34.360 Do you have to purchase? Is it like a secret standard? 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:36.440 Does every family have to purchase a present? No? 0:06:36.640 --> 0:06:39.159 For like, no, no, where do they come from? 0:06:39.320 --> 0:06:42.040 I'm expecting I Like on Friday when we picked the 0:06:42.120 --> 0:06:43.599 kids up from daycare, I was like, oh, what do 0:06:43.640 --> 0:06:45.479 you need me to bring to this Christmas party tomorrow? 0:06:45.480 --> 0:06:47.120 And they're like, nothing, just come, and. 0:06:47.160 --> 0:06:49.159 I was like, that's that's where my money goes. I 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:51.240 was like, what's going to be there? And they're like, 0:06:51.320 --> 0:06:53.080 just come. It's a great day. And my kids have 0:06:53.120 --> 0:06:55.040 only just started this daycare. They've only been going there 0:06:55.040 --> 0:06:57.200 for three months. And prior to that we were at 0:06:57.240 --> 0:06:59.559 a different daycare and they had been there for three years. 0:06:59.600 --> 0:07:01.960 So this is all a new experience to us. And 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:04.520 we rocked up and there was like face painting and 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:06.719 Santa came with a big sack of presents for every 0:07:06.760 --> 0:07:09.840 single child, and then there was sausage sizzles with not 0:07:09.920 --> 0:07:11.920 even with minute steaks, with legit steaks. 0:07:11.960 --> 0:07:14.240 I was like, this is an Eastern summer Christmas party. 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:17.040 It was like a big what's it called a rump steak? 0:07:17.080 --> 0:07:17.240 It was? 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:18.720 It wasn't. 0:07:20.440 --> 0:07:23.480 Okay, But so we did that on Saturday. Then Saturday afternoon, 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:25.320 like Morley went and played at the neighbor's house and 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:27.520 we went and swamm in their pool. Then Sunday it 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:29.240 was a three year old birthday party and then we 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:29.600 went home. 0:07:29.640 --> 0:07:31.880 We put the tree up. The whole weekend I was 0:07:31.880 --> 0:07:34.840 like cooked. These children ruled me. Yeah, that's what kids 0:07:34.880 --> 0:07:36.360 do for like thirty years. 0:07:36.600 --> 0:07:36.800 Yeah. 0:07:36.840 --> 0:07:38.200 So if anyone wants to know what I'm doing next week, 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:40.440 I'm also going to kids birthday buddies. Ah, I's a 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:41.040 know from me. 0:07:41.200 --> 0:07:43.600 But we this year, this is the very first year 0:07:43.640 --> 0:07:48.360 in oh God ever that we are hosting Christmas. Everybody 0:07:48.400 --> 0:07:52.440 is coming to day Christmas Day. Literally, our entire family 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:53.640 are coming to my house. 0:07:53.680 --> 0:07:55.600 Can you just give me a minute. I'm just praying 0:07:55.600 --> 0:07:58.720 for you. Thank you, just a minute. House. Also, this 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:00.360 is the thing I need to come like. 0:08:00.640 --> 0:08:02.480 I wish it that I told people this more like 0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:04.840 the people in my family, I think they think I 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:05.440 can cook. 0:08:05.720 --> 0:08:08.320 Oh no, I will tell you direct them to this podcast. 0:08:08.400 --> 0:08:09.559 Laura Burne cannot cook. 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:11.840 The last time I cooked Christmas lunch for anyone, I 0:08:11.880 --> 0:08:14.280 tried to cook a pork with crackling and I set 0:08:14.280 --> 0:08:16.640 the fucking oven on fire. So I think we're just 0:08:16.680 --> 0:08:19.320 gonna do ham like cold ham. I'm not gonna cook it. 0:08:19.360 --> 0:08:20.240 I'm not gonna glaze it. 0:08:20.360 --> 0:08:23.040 You just buy it. You still have to carve it. 0:08:23.120 --> 0:08:25.720 I can cut it. Well, first of all, it's not 0:08:25.760 --> 0:08:27.560 called cutting. You carve it with a car I can 0:08:27.760 --> 0:08:29.960 cut it and people can have hunks of ham for 0:08:30.040 --> 0:08:31.520 lunch and prawns. That's what I'm we do. 0:08:31.560 --> 0:08:33.559 It's gonna be it's gonna be a cold lunch for 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:35.160 Christmas Day, and I think that's fine. 0:08:35.360 --> 0:08:35.680 Okay. 0:08:35.720 --> 0:08:38.000 So an example, I had this conversation with my sister 0:08:38.080 --> 0:08:41.280 last night. I just tried to cook garlic bread last night. 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:43.280 That's it for dinner. This is how sad my life is. 0:08:43.320 --> 0:08:44.679 And a burnt to a crisp. But it was these 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:46.600 two little black balls. I sent it to my sister 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:51.800 as my sister was simultaneously typing up the menu for 0:08:51.920 --> 0:08:54.840 Christmas Day. Now, my sister is a nutritionis. She's an 0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:56.240 amazing cook. But she's done a menu. 0:08:56.320 --> 0:08:58.640 It's like a full four course for a huge amount 0:08:58.640 --> 0:08:59.520 of people. She froths. 0:08:59.600 --> 0:09:01.560 It is also a lot younger than you. 0:09:01.640 --> 0:09:02.280 Does it make you. 0:09:02.240 --> 0:09:06.200 Feel like, yes, that's how I feel like I have 0:09:06.200 --> 0:09:08.280 a failure, Like I can't Okay. I can do lots 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:10.160 of things. Cooking isn't one of them. So why are 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:10.920 we highlighting this? 0:09:11.160 --> 0:09:12.280 Well? Can you not? 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:14.679 And I mean it's something my family does, says every year, 0:09:14.679 --> 0:09:16.320 but Sherry loves to do it, so she does it. 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:18.600 But every year, after we're cleaning up for hours, you 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:21.240 spend the whole day in the kitchen or cleaning up. Right, 0:09:21.600 --> 0:09:23.600 every year we're like, we're gonna cater it next year. 0:09:23.840 --> 0:09:26.000 Why don't you just cater Why don't you go to charlgirl? 0:09:26.080 --> 0:09:31.640 Charlie's you are But it's okay, Yeah, lean into your strengths, 0:09:31.760 --> 0:09:33.360 don't tell anyone, use your. 0:09:33.240 --> 0:09:35.600 Boundaries, say no to things that don't serve you. Yes, 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:36.920 you just gotta buy some chalks. 0:09:36.960 --> 0:09:38.520 As I'm salling and be like, guys, I've been prepping 0:09:38.520 --> 0:09:40.880 this all morning. Take the child, Charlie's wrapper off it. 0:09:41.080 --> 0:09:42.720 You know what. They'll probably hear this and sponsor you. 0:09:47.000 --> 0:09:48.640 Okay, do you know what? There are a couple of 0:09:48.640 --> 0:09:50.480 things that we wanted to unpack. But before we get 0:09:50.480 --> 0:09:53.360 into all the nitty gritty of this episode, let's tell 0:09:53.360 --> 0:09:54.520 you what this episode's about. 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:56.880 This is a real nostalgic episode for. 0:09:56.920 --> 0:09:59.520 Us because we don't have any experts on here today 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:02.880 interviewing anyone. It's just you and me, Brittany. 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:05.120 We haven't done this for a while. We're going it alone. 0:10:05.160 --> 0:10:07.600 Did you feel nervous? No? I mean I know what 0:10:07.600 --> 0:10:09.840 I've been for sitting across from you now where Yeah, 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:11.719 it's been four years. Can you believe that three and 0:10:11.720 --> 0:10:14.160 a half million, four years? That's crazy? We can look out. 0:10:14.480 --> 0:10:16.319 We're getting so nostalogic at the end of the year. 0:10:16.360 --> 0:10:20.240 This is also my second longest relationship, also my only one. Okay, 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:23.440 So today's episode, what we're talking about is a very 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:27.000 common relationship phenomena. We've spoken about it loads on the podcast, 0:10:27.000 --> 0:10:28.720 but weirdly, in three and a half years, we have 0:10:28.840 --> 0:10:30.560 never done a whole episode on it. 0:10:30.559 --> 0:10:32.640 It's rebounds. Thank you for taking the punch. 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:35.160 Well, you took a golf there, and so I jumped 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:36.600 on in and I saw my opportunity. 0:10:36.920 --> 0:10:38.000 Okay, But the reason. 0:10:37.840 --> 0:10:42.160 Why we're talking about rebounds is because we're heading into Christmas, 0:10:42.200 --> 0:10:46.120 and Christmas period, like the summer period, is the highest 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:50.080 break up period of the entire year. Not to alarm anyone, 0:10:50.080 --> 0:10:52.760 not to frighten anyone, but the most breakups happen in 0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:55.439 the next couple of weeks heading into Christmas, which also 0:10:55.520 --> 0:10:58.240 means that this is like prime rebound time of the 0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:01.800 year where people are having a summer fling or you know, 0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:07.600 having a transient relationship in between their next serious relationship. 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:10.040 So we wanted to kind of talk more about why 0:11:10.120 --> 0:11:12.440 people have rebound relationships, but not just to kind of 0:11:12.440 --> 0:11:14.520 like poo pooh them, because I think mostly. 0:11:14.240 --> 0:11:16.280 Poo pooh them's. Well, like you, you. 0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:18.640 Know, whenever we talk about rebounds, I feel like mostly 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:21.000 the general consensus is that they're bad. 0:11:21.120 --> 0:11:23.120 I feel like if you were in doubt that Laura 0:11:23.160 --> 0:11:25.760 spent the whole weekend at children's birthday, Marta, she just 0:11:25.880 --> 0:11:29.000 reiterated it because you poo pooh your relationship. I don't 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:32.520 want to poo poo your rebound relationship. Okay, it's actually true. 0:11:32.559 --> 0:11:35.199 Now is the time, unfortunately, that we all get those 0:11:35.280 --> 0:11:37.400 dreaded texts that we don't want, not all of us, 0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:39.640 but the old Hey, I think we need to talk. 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:41.360 You know that we need to talk text. I would 0:11:41.360 --> 0:11:43.640 hope not everyone is receiving them. I mean not everyone, 0:11:43.720 --> 0:11:46.080 but the statistics are high. We saw that science. There's 0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:48.200 a lot of breakups at this time, which leads us 0:11:48.240 --> 0:11:50.120 to a lot of rebounds. Totally. 0:11:50.160 --> 0:11:51.520 Well, I mean, just going back to what I was 0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:54.680 saying in terms of like how it's often spoken about 0:11:54.720 --> 0:11:57.240 with a negative lens. I think usually when we talk 0:11:57.280 --> 0:12:00.319 about rebounds, we are usually advising people not to get 0:12:00.320 --> 0:12:02.760 into them, that rebounds are like a recipe of a disaster, 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:05.080 you're gonna get your heart broken. But we wanted to 0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:07.680 take a bigger, deep dive into this topic and look 0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:09.720 at what are some of the pros of you know, 0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:12.520 if you are and do find yourself in a rebound relationship, 0:12:12.840 --> 0:12:15.520 what are some of the positives? How do you safeguard yourself? 0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:17.920 How can you tell if you're in a rebound relationship? 0:12:18.200 --> 0:12:20.080 And they're all the things that we're going to unpack 0:12:20.160 --> 0:12:20.720 in a little bit. 0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:23.280 I mean, obviously, great sex is a positive from a rebound, 0:12:23.280 --> 0:12:25.280 but not necessarily. You don't always get great sex in 0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:26.559 a rebound relationship. 0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:28.760 And if you're not hurting the other person because they're 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:31.080 just in it for sex, sometimes it's nice to have 0:12:31.360 --> 0:12:32.760 a human band aid, But is. 0:12:32.760 --> 0:12:34.600 Getting under them away to get over them? Well you'll 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:36.280 have to find out our opinion a bit later on. 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:37.120 How was that for a hook? 0:12:37.320 --> 0:12:39.880 But it brings me to this article that I just 0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:42.319 read Laura, and I think this is also so timely 0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:43.920 because we're two weeks away from Christmas. 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:44.800 There's a new. 0:12:44.760 --> 0:12:47.280 Term that I've seen pop up, and I think it's 0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:49.920 pretty accurate, and this is a warning to all those 0:12:49.920 --> 0:12:54.520 singles out there. There's something called milestoning, which is this 0:12:54.600 --> 0:12:55.840 new dating trend. 0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:59.320 Rebounds and milestoning, this is a dating term. 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:02.320 It was ooined by Plenty of Fish and there's this 0:13:02.400 --> 0:13:04.360 whole there's all these articles on it, and it goes 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:06.040 into all these other terms that have come up. We've 0:13:06.040 --> 0:13:08.439 done dating terms before, but there are so many new ones. 0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:13.920 But milestoning is the idea of people going out there 0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:16.920 swiping furiously, wanting to match with people, wanting to date 0:13:16.920 --> 0:13:19.960 people purely because a milestone is coming up and they 0:13:19.960 --> 0:13:22.439 don't want to be alone. In this case, it's the 0:13:22.520 --> 0:13:26.240 Christmas period, Christmas, New Year's, Christmas. 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:27.160 Parties, all the stuff that comes with it. 0:13:27.280 --> 0:13:30.000 So almost three quarters, so seventy one percent of people 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:35.120 that were surveyed purposely increase their online dating activity ahead 0:13:35.120 --> 0:13:39.880 of key milestones, including Christmas. This is because they don't 0:13:40.040 --> 0:13:41.360 want to be alone on those days. 0:13:41.840 --> 0:13:43.920 I don't know if it's as black and white as though, 0:13:43.960 --> 0:13:45.400 like when I say, I mean there's more to it. 0:13:45.520 --> 0:13:47.040 When I say it, I mean as black and white. 0:13:47.040 --> 0:13:50.000 I feel like people don't sit down and purposely go like, oh, 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:51.640 I want to have a boyfriend for Christmas, so I 0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:52.840 want to have a girlfriend for Christmas. 0:13:52.880 --> 0:13:53.480 I don't think that. 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:56.840 They're thinking about it in such an obvious way. But 0:13:56.960 --> 0:14:00.679 what I think happens is that as these milestone's approach, 0:14:00.720 --> 0:14:03.600 as Christmas comes, when you're single and you're wanting to 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:06.120 be in a relationship, it shines a spotlight on it. 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:10.280 It's another day where you're like, oh, okay, I'm alone 0:14:10.440 --> 0:14:13.120 again this Christmas. My life isn't where I had hoped 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:13.600 it would be. 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:14.840 Now I don't want to get a present. 0:14:15.160 --> 0:14:17.120 Yeah, and then you get a boyfriend so you can 0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:19.240 just get a present, do you know what I mean. 0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:21.240 I don't think it's so much that it's this conscious 0:14:21.400 --> 0:14:23.120 Oh I need to have a guy to bring home 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:25.320 to my Christmas lunch where Laura is going to make 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:28.000 terrible fucking ham. I think it's more a case of 0:14:28.080 --> 0:14:30.680 just it shines a spotlight on something that you wanted 0:14:30.680 --> 0:14:33.040 to have in your life, so therefore you're kind of like, 0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:37.920 without realizing it, furiously swiping away. Well, Laura, funny you 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:39.920 say that, because I have some statistics on that too. 0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:44.280 So research conducted by plenty of Phish members in the 0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:49.120 UK reveals that the main motivations for increasing dating activity 0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:53.080 during this festive season is to secure someone special. 0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:53.680 For festive dates. 0:14:53.880 --> 0:14:56.480 Literally, so fifty one percent of people said it's just 0:14:56.560 --> 0:14:59.120 to have a festive date. Twenty percent of people said 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:01.880 is to avoid being quizzed by family, Like they just 0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:03.920 don't want to face that shit, the question, so they're 0:15:03.960 --> 0:15:05.000 just pretending they're with someone. 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:07.400 So they're like, I've got a boyfriend. His name's Sam 0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:08.720 and we've been dating for two weeks. 0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:13.480 Yes, yes, exactly, And fourteen percent said it's gift giving 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:14.080 and receiving. 0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:16.680 There's fourteen percent of people that were like, I just 0:15:16.720 --> 0:15:19.960 want to present that would be you, that would be me, 0:15:20.360 --> 0:15:21.360 and some physical affection. 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:23.360 I think that's really interesting, But I do you know what, 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:26.960 For me, I remember, and as you guys know, I 0:15:27.000 --> 0:15:28.800 did not spend a lot of time being single because 0:15:28.840 --> 0:15:31.480 I was the real monkey brancher from relationship to relationship. 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:35.120 But I do remember a New Year's where my. 0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:37.560 Boyfriend the time had broken up with me early December, 0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:40.560 so it was like, not only was the breakup super 0:15:40.560 --> 0:15:42.280 super fresh, but it was the first time I had 0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:43.880 been single in a really long time. And then I 0:15:43.920 --> 0:15:46.600 had to head into Christmas single and then Christmas was 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:49.520 kind of okay, I think, but it was New Year. 0:15:49.520 --> 0:15:51.960 Since I was pretty drunk, I'm blacked it out well, 0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:54.080 I mean, because I'm usually with my family anyway, So 0:15:54.200 --> 0:15:55.800 to me, it wasn't like I had to have a 0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:57.360 boyfriend for Christmas Day. 0:15:57.920 --> 0:16:00.280 But it was New Year's that felt really weird because 0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:02.440 you know, there's so much emphasis that put into like 0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:04.600 who are you going to kiss at midnight when it's 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:07.600 like the clock struck midnight And I remember being at 0:16:07.600 --> 0:16:09.280 this party that year and thinking like. 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:13.560 Fuck, like who's the lucky guy? Was like hunting them down. 0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:16.160 Like there has to be someone literally trying to find 0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:18.240 a guy to make out with on midnight. 0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:20.440