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Speaker 1: Welcome to the podcast where we answer your questions. If

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Speaker 1: you've got one, hit us up Willem Muddy Instagram. I

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Speaker 1: mean you probably know where we are, given that you

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Speaker 1: are listening to the podcast now would this is part

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Speaker 1: two of the question we pulled out of our little

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Speaker 1: box last time.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it's what's your greatest strength and also your greatest weakness?

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Speaker 2: I answered in the last bts, So if you want

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Speaker 2: to go and grab that, then back it up. But

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Speaker 2: in this one we're going to hear yours.

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Speaker 3: Will Yeah, So.

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Speaker 1: I think that my greatest strength, I think is my

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Speaker 1: capacity to.

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Speaker 3: Oh it's hard, ev It's like choosing between your children.

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Speaker 3: Is so many strengths. How many strengths do you think

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Speaker 3: you have? The biggest strength is I have too many?

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Speaker 3: That's his weakness.

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Speaker 2: My weakness is I have too many strengths to choose from.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this is tough because yeah, I am kind of

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Speaker 1: choosing between two here, and one of them is ironically

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Speaker 1: one of them is definitely a weakness.

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Speaker 3: They both no rules here.

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Speaker 1: So I think I think, certainly a real strength of

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Speaker 1: mine is my capacity to connect with people and in

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Speaker 1: what way, in a way that I make them feel

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Speaker 1: as if they can talk to me.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, sure about more serious stuff.

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Speaker 1: Well, about anything, And I kind of realized that there

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Speaker 1: was a friend of mine that I hadn't spoken to

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Speaker 1: in a very long time who I went to school with.

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Speaker 1: When I was getting as she's getting some lunch here.

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Speaker 3: One day, I was don't down the street and.

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Speaker 1: I got a call from a guy who I hadn't

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Speaker 1: it from in years, and I sort of answered the

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Speaker 1: phone and I was like, going, I've said his name, cheers,

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Speaker 1: love to take that out.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, all people heard was a.

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Speaker 1: Beep, and he said to me, mate, I really want

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Speaker 1: to Can I talk to you? And I was like yeah, cool,

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Speaker 1: and he said I didn't know who else to call,

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Speaker 1: which given that I hadn't spoken to him in about

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Speaker 1: two years, alarmed me. And he said to me, I'm

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Speaker 1: in a really bad spot and I feel as if

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Speaker 1: I'm about to potentially take my life, which was like whoa.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I was out there getting a bit of lunch,

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Speaker 1: and I remember feeling really confronted.

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Speaker 3: With it at the time, but then it kind of

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Speaker 3: empowered me in.

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Speaker 1: That moment a bit because I was like, Wow, I'm

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Speaker 1: the guy that you've reached out to in this moment,

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Speaker 1: like you could have reached out to anyone and you

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Speaker 1: feel as if I'm the person that you can reach

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Speaker 1: out to.

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Speaker 2: And do you think that's because you've been so open

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Speaker 2: and honest about your.

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Speaker 1: Own I think this was prior to that. I think

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Speaker 1: this was prior to that. Yeah, this is a long

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Speaker 1: time ago. Yeah, this was right before we.

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Speaker 3: Did any of that mental health stuff on this show. Perth.

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Speaker 3: It was in Melbourne. I was in Melbourne.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was before we started doing that stuff on

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Speaker 1: this show though.

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Speaker 3: Yeah right, yeah, so.

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Speaker 1: And I think, yeah, from that moment, I love the

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Speaker 1: fact that I can have that same relationship with people.

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Speaker 1: And I feel as if there's not really that many

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Speaker 1: people in my life who don't feel as if they

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Speaker 1: can tell me exactly how they're going or exactly how

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Speaker 1: they're feeling. And I'm very proud of the fact that

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Speaker 1: I make that space for them because I think it's

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Speaker 1: a wonderful thing to do. So is it difficult, No,

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Speaker 1: it's actually effortless. Yeah, amazing. And a relationship kind of

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Speaker 1: isn't really a relationship for me? Well not, that's not true,

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Speaker 1: but always look to seek that out in a relationship.

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Speaker 1: It's like if I'm going to have you as a

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Speaker 1: relationship in my life. I want to be able to

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Speaker 1: go to that place with you because I know that

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Speaker 1: it means that I get the other end of the spectrum,

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Speaker 1: and it means that it opens me up to all

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Speaker 1: these beautiful friendships where I don't see people for ages

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Speaker 1: I had. It was funny. I was talking to a

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Speaker 1: friend about this on the weekend. I was sometimes I'll

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Speaker 1: go to a wedding and I won't know anyone at

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Speaker 1: the wedding. I'll only know that person because they circumstantially

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Speaker 1: entered my life. Oh sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, and I

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Speaker 1: just have a connection with them. And again I'm quite proud.

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Speaker 1: When I get there they like, oh, your school mate,

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Speaker 1: did you know them through this that. I'm like, No,

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Speaker 1: I met them at a party, I met them overseas,

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Speaker 1: I met them, and I know Hence I know it's

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Speaker 1: a strength because I know it's rare for that to happen.

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Speaker 1: That doesn't that doesn't happen, you don't, that doesn't have

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Speaker 1: very often at all. Yeah, And so I feel like

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Speaker 1: that kind of opens me up to a whole another

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Speaker 1: world of ideas and thinking, and I think it kind

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Speaker 1: of highlights and an underlying openness and a willingness to

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Speaker 1: understand another person that I think not a lot of

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Speaker 1: people do. So yeah, I think that's uh, that's probably yeah.

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Speaker 1: That is certainly one of my greatest strengths.

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Speaker 2: Great strength, yeah, very good strength, yeah, absolutely, and a

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Speaker 2: helpful strength.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it is.

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Speaker 1: It also gives me the opportunity to reach out to

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Speaker 1: lots of people and have, you know, great conversations and

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Speaker 1: feel with other people. I think that's what often what

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Speaker 1: I say is like I feel as if you're in

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Speaker 1: this life only once and you can kind of go

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Speaker 1: through it having these shallow relationships that don't fulfill you,

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Speaker 1: or you can realize that you've got all these other

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Speaker 1: people who are going through the same human experience and

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Speaker 1: you can kind of, I want to say, suffer with

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Speaker 1: them at the same time. But that also means enjoy

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Speaker 1: with them at the same time, and that shared experience

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Speaker 1: is wonderful. I think John let there there's a quote

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Speaker 1: from John Lennon and where he says, an idea you

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Speaker 1: have by yourself is just an idea, but an idea

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Speaker 1: you share with someone's reality.

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Speaker 3: Mmmmm yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I really try and live by that try and

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Speaker 1: like incorporate and include and feel deeply with all the

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Speaker 1: people that are very close to me, which is important

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Speaker 1: to me.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, weakness, Well, before we get there, should we just hear.

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Speaker 2: It from our Absolutely, it feels like a good time

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Speaker 2: to Yes.

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Speaker 3: Greades, splitter grades, splitter weakness.

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Speaker 2: Yes, weakness has many to choose from as the strength,

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Speaker 2: because you really did struggle to choose between all of

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Speaker 2: your myriad of strength.

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Speaker 3: This was this was exhaustive. I was really scratching around here. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: No, I've got shiploads of weaknesses and honestly's it's actually

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Speaker 1: quite overwhelming. But I want to choose one which is

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Speaker 1: kind of in the theme of the Kate language bit

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Speaker 1: from Share My Mood and also from your bit yesterday,

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Speaker 1: woulds which is a perceived strength, which is, if you're

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Speaker 1: honest with yourself, a weakness.

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Speaker 2: Oh so people would I'm going to think this is

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Speaker 2: a strength of yours and you go, no, it's a weakness.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, ah wow, fascinating.

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Speaker 1: So I can give you a bit of context behind

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Speaker 1: this what I think was a strength because I think

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Speaker 1: a lot of people can relate to this, and I

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Speaker 1: was watching a School of Life clip about this just

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Speaker 1: before about how if you really want to get to

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Speaker 1: know who you are, look at who.

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Speaker 3: You needed to be for your parents.

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Speaker 1: Look at what they required of you in order for

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Speaker 1: you to get love from them. And I think I

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Speaker 1: grew up in a house where my I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to specify, but there was My sister is like a

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Speaker 1: bit of a genius, and she was a very very

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Speaker 1: good athlete. I'm not a very good athlete.

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Speaker 3: You're good in the pool. I'm a good swimmer. Yeah

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Speaker 3: that's man, that's the athlete. But you're a good land creature.

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Speaker 3: You're horrific on land.

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Speaker 2: It's actually unfortunate that you're not in a movie like

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Speaker 2: Aquaman or something like Kevin.

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Speaker 3: Costner's Water World.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you would have dominated you pray for a world

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Speaker 2: flood where it's like, finally, water is the normal mode

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Speaker 2: of transport.

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Speaker 3: I said, I auditioned for that show just add Water

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Speaker 3: a little while ago. You know, I would have made at

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Speaker 3: a great mord Man. Absolutely absolutely.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, Look, the I think what comes from having a

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Speaker 1: parents who have a particular appreciation for quality means that

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Speaker 1: you have a very very good idea of what is

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Speaker 1: going to be good in inverted commerce, what is going

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Speaker 1: to be successful. I think that a real weakness of

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Speaker 1: mine is I have a particularly strict eye for quality.

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Speaker 1: I know what's good, I know what I think is good,

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Speaker 1: and I am so quick to dismiss anything that I

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Speaker 1: don't think reaches that bar, which can be incredible because

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Speaker 1: I can very very quickly tell you how I think

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Speaker 1: you're going to get to a certain level of quality

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Speaker 1: in my eyes, across any sphere, across anything. But it

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Speaker 1: can also be a real weakness because it closes me

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Speaker 1: off very very quickly to the beautiful variations on what

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Speaker 1: can be qualitative, very very quickly. And you would know

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Speaker 1: that you're in creative meetings with me all the time,

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Speaker 1: and you probably watched this evolve over a long period

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Speaker 1: of time, where I can walk into a meeting room,

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Speaker 1: get thrown an idea, get thrown a brief. We have

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Speaker 1: a client comes in, They're like, oh, coll we want this.

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Speaker 1: I can tell you in thirty seconds what will be

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Speaker 1: an appropriate thing that I think will be good. But

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Speaker 1: if I hammer down too hard on that and I

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Speaker 1: say the first thing that's in my head, I will

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Speaker 1: cut myself off from the other eight to ten people

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Speaker 1: that are sitting in that room who have all got

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Speaker 1: very good ideas, and who are going to provide something

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Speaker 1: which is going to be very different to what I'm

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Speaker 1: continually always providing, which is the same thing. And it

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Speaker 1: also means that everything that I do in my life

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Speaker 1: subconsciously and I'm getting better at this, goes through a

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Speaker 1: level of was that any good?

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Speaker 3: And it's funny.

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Speaker 1: I was reading about James clears book Atomic Habits on

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Speaker 1: Cool Guides, my favorite Reddit forum.

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Speaker 3: Which everybody should check out a massive door.

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Speaker 1: And go on, and he has this great line which

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Speaker 1: is kind of like the thesis for his whole thing.

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Speaker 1: If you don't know what Atomic Habits is, this guy

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Speaker 1: got a horrific baseball accident basically couldn't walk, couldn't think,

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Speaker 1: lost a lot of access to parts of his brain,

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Speaker 1: and the only way that he got away from the

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Speaker 1: injury was through process, through doing tiny little things every day.

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Speaker 1: And the kind of mantra is success is the product

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Speaker 1: of daily habits, not once in a lifetime transformations. So

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Speaker 1: the whole book is about the fact that your habit's

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Speaker 1: compound on each other if you keep doing them. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: he makes this point, which I think is really really important,

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Speaker 1: which I continually have to remind myself about is that

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Speaker 1: a bad habit is a habit that forms.

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Speaker 3: As soon as you start.

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Speaker 1: Thinking about the goal of the habit, and it stops

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Speaker 1: becoming a habit because you're not thinking about the process.

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Speaker 1: So this is why this can often be a weakness

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Speaker 1: for me, is because if I go and practice something,

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Speaker 1: I know very quickly what it's good, if it's good already,

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Speaker 1: and then that can often lead to me not doing

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Speaker 1: that thing because I'm thinking too much about whether or

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Speaker 1: not it's good.

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Speaker 3: Do you just to go back a few.

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Speaker 1: Stands and just focusing on the process. Sorry, just to

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Speaker 1: give you an examples that might be to obscure. Piano,

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Speaker 1: I started learning piano a couple of years ago. I

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Speaker 1: just wanted to pick it up. I couldn't practice for

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Speaker 1: a little while because I was so annoyed with how

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Speaker 1: bad I was.

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Speaker 3: Oh sure, yeah, yeah, definitely, yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: That's also a great lesson in just like getting better

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Speaker 2: at becoming friends with failure to an extent, doing something

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Speaker 2: that you're really bad at and just like and trying

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Speaker 2: to find joy in that still is just a great

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Speaker 2: thing for you mentally, physically, everything. But I want to

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Speaker 2: go back on so you kind of made like a

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Speaker 2: slight separation between like you you you seek good or

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Speaker 2: something being quality good, right, so you chase what you

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Speaker 2: think is good. So cause I see you speak with

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Speaker 2: like real certainty with something being good.

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Speaker 3: At what point?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I think actually, on the walk into work today,

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Speaker 1: what do you know? I call it the same train again.

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Speaker 2: Hilariously, I was watching you walk like a poor walrus

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Speaker 2: was missing water.

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Speaker 3: An injured seal had been on the Oxford too long.

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Speaker 1: I just got a bad land animal as it's been

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Speaker 1: just watch will move.

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Speaker 2: It's like, what are you even doing?

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Speaker 3: Slow cumbersome, lumbering creature.

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Speaker 1: Get me in a pool though, Like a fish flapping

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Speaker 1: around right, looks awful, So you get him in the water.

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Speaker 3: Amazing silk.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, we saw each other and you were trying

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Speaker 1: to tell me about music. No, no, have you heard

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Speaker 1: the new banger? I won't say what it is because

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Speaker 1: you were quite critical of it, just in case there's

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Speaker 1: a particular You said, fish has done a cut of

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Speaker 1: Jennifer Lopez is waiting for tonight, And I.

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Speaker 2: Said, I listened to it four times on the train,

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Speaker 2: and I am pumped up.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, you need to know that I

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Speaker 1: hate all of that genre of music. Yeah, it's pass

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Speaker 1: it's predictable, it's unnuanced and doesn't excite me at all.

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Speaker 3: Sure, but I'm more talking about.

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Speaker 2: I'm more talking about ideation here, as in, Yeah, if

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Speaker 2: you're involved in and in ide eating with a group

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Speaker 2: of people and you're like, it is, it's so faine,

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Speaker 2: this is. This does lean into strength as well. I

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Speaker 2: know we're putting it under the weakness category. We've framed

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Speaker 2: it as weakness. Yeah, but there is a strength then

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Speaker 2: being like really confident because for so long you're very

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Speaker 2: good at being aware of what's quality or what's good.

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Speaker 2: But then to me, to me got to stress that no,

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Speaker 2: I know, so at what point, like so when you

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Speaker 2: are being certain about something, what percentage is it at?

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Speaker 2: And like how how uncertain do you need to be

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Speaker 2: to then go Okay, maybe something else is better quality.

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Speaker 1: I will always know what I think will be good. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And like I feel it in my bones, So that's

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Speaker 1: not a it's not a there's no percentage like that

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Speaker 1: feels right for me in that moment. And then I

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Speaker 1: have to because I've had to kind of get used

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Speaker 1: to this over a long because as I said, it's

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Speaker 1: a learned behavior.

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Speaker 3: You think that thing is going to be really good

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Speaker 3: and that's going to get you love.

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Speaker 1: So just lock in on that thing and fucking nail

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Speaker 1: it right, because then you're going to get praised for

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Speaker 1: it and you get your blinkers on, and then you

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Speaker 1: don't want anything else coming in the way of that.

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Speaker 1: So I can feel that happening. And this is where

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Speaker 1: mindfulness is an incredibly useful exercise for me. And just

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Speaker 1: the art of pausing is almost like a God send

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Speaker 1: for me if I'm ever having a bad day, I'm

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Speaker 1: ever in trouble, or my head is too headstrong, like,

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Speaker 1: there is an art of pausing because as soon as

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Speaker 1: you just give it a little bit of breath and

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Speaker 1: you get a little bit of separation from it, and

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Speaker 1: you go, oh, that's just a's a that's a habit

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Speaker 1: pattern that I've got, but I'm telling myself that's the

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Speaker 1: right idea. And then, amazingly often if you are ide eating,

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Speaker 1: there's this wonderful thing that happens where someone else says

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Speaker 1: something that's way better yes, and you're like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: that's so much better than what I was thinking. I'm

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Speaker 1: glad that I withdrew from you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And then.

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Speaker 1: The good thing is if you know everyone else is

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Speaker 1: just lobbing shit against a wall, then you you can

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Speaker 1: you can. You can go back to your thing and

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Speaker 1: you can go, oh no, hang on, Actually that thing

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Speaker 1: I was thinking was better than whatever else is throwing

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Speaker 1: around right now. But also, but also unless you give

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Speaker 1: the you know, the ship throwers the time to throw

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Speaker 1: their ship, you want to talk about.

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Speaker 2: The term do we all feel very empowered by this?

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Speaker 3: You miss out on the chance.

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Speaker 1: You miss out on the chance to you know, sometimes

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Speaker 1: they throw so much shit that you know, you look

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Speaker 1: at it, it's a Picasso and you're like, wow, you

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Speaker 1: know that's awesome.

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Speaker 3: And I would have completely missed out of that.

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Speaker 1: Now I'm obviously being deliberately comedically disparaging, but the point

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Speaker 1: is perspective.

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Speaker 2: It's anyone, whether they're you think they're a very creative

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Speaker 2: person or not, they have a very different perspective to

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Speaker 2: you and I, And you're right to close off to

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Speaker 2: I don't know what life you've lived, Tom, and I

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Speaker 2: don't know what life you've levet it and I can't

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Speaker 2: even see what's in your head.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly right now, And if you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if you do close off to that, it's like

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Speaker 2: you lose range.

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Speaker 1: Of ten people thinking about something, no matter who they are,

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Speaker 1: is going to be better than the than the one

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Speaker 1: Albert Einstein in the corner totally, you know, ninety nine

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Speaker 1: times out of one hundred.

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Speaker 3: Don't get me wrong.

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Speaker 1: Every now and then he's going to have his because

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Speaker 1: he squared, and it's going to be brilliant. But most

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Speaker 1: of the time, if you listen. I think there was

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Speaker 1: a study done by the National Security Council whether they

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Speaker 1: questioned great decision makers, like why are they great decision makers?

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Speaker 1: And the number one reason they were great decision makers

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Speaker 1: is because they didn't make a decision. They waited until

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Speaker 1: they got all the information and then And I think

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Speaker 1: the final thing I'll say on this is beyond applying

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Speaker 1: this to a group ideation concept. If your head strong

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Speaker 1: in terms of what you think is good and why

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Speaker 1: you think it's good, and you're used to following that pattern,

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Speaker 1: what then forms, which is totally debilitating, is this idea

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Speaker 1: of expectation. Because you are so hell bent on this

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Speaker 1: thing being good and it needs to be good, that

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Speaker 1: you expect from yourself, which means when the ideation process

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Speaker 1: starts in your head. You're already restricting it because you're

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Speaker 1: going this has to be good because I'm used to

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Speaker 1: doing good ideas, which means when you have a lesser

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Speaker 1: day or and then you create an expectation monster, which

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Speaker 1: can be debilitating. So one of the things that I

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Speaker 1: one of the things I've learned by having a lot

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Speaker 1: of time by myself, is one of the things I

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Speaker 1: say to myself is surprise yourself. Don't expect from yourself.

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Speaker 1: What that mean, Well, that's such a nicer way to

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Speaker 1: be to surprise yourself rather than to expect from yourself.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to expect from yourself. And if you

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Speaker 1: don't expect from yourself, then you'll often surprise yourself. But

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Speaker 1: if you go in there going I'm expecting.

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Speaker 2: This, oh, I see you're saying like as in like

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Speaker 2: with what you think of, with what the night.

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Speaker 3: With anything that you do.

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Speaker 1: If I wake up in the morning and going I'm

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Speaker 1: expecting this of myself and I'm expecting this of myself,

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Speaker 1: and I'm expecting this of this idea, then that will

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Speaker 1: always be automatically a bar that.

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Speaker 3: I have to reach.

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Speaker 1: And it might be kind of good when I get

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Speaker 1: to that bar, feels good. But the other model is

380
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Speaker 1: I have no expectations of myself. I have no expectations

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Speaker 1: of this idea. So the bars at zero, so everything

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Speaker 1: above that is a surprise. And you're like, oh, wow,

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Speaker 1: surprise myself.

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Speaker 3: Fair gotcha.

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Speaker 2: I thought you were saying that I'm going to go

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Speaker 2: for a run ned today, and just like.

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Speaker 1: Oh, okay, let's take it running for example. So like

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Speaker 1: I running is perfect. So when I'm running, nerd Now,

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Speaker 1: So when I used to run, when I used to run,

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Speaker 1: my stupid, my stupid garment watch used to do this

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Speaker 1: thing where it would tell me like, you know, how

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Speaker 1: fast I'm going and you know, maintaining or improving or

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Speaker 1: like it gave me like a scale. Shit. Yeh, that's

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Speaker 1: so I would start running and I would set the

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Speaker 1: timer and I would and I would have that on

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Speaker 1: as I ran.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, right, and.

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Speaker 3: I could check it and see how I'm going.

399
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Speaker 1: So I'm immediately expecting of myself on that run, right sure,

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Speaker 1: right now, I don't do that at all. If I started,

401
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Speaker 1: I'll start it. I don't look at it all. I

402
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Speaker 1: get to the end of the run. I didn't even

403
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Speaker 1: know what sort of run I was going on. But

404
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,399
Speaker 1: some times I get to the end and I surprised

405
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Speaker 1: the ship out of myself and I go, oh wow,

406
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Speaker 1: I ran a PB.

407
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Speaker 3: I had no idea that was coming up.

408
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,960
Speaker 1: Rather than because the other way, I started hating running

409
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Speaker 1: because I was like, every time I go and do this,

410
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Speaker 1: this is just another expectation.

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Speaker 3: Trap for us. I like to take myself on from yesterday.

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Speaker 3: I know that I knew and I will forever be

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Speaker 3: very different. I lost today. Sorry that was so long. No,

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00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,200
Speaker 3: it was interesting. Oh we went long.

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Speaker 2: We went Okay, that's that's we've we've doubled it. We've

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Speaker 2: doubled it. But well, I didn't realize it was twenty.

417
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Speaker 2: I think that's a good sign. Great's you know what

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Speaker 2: we weren't expecting to do.

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Speaker 3: No, we surprised ourselves double the time.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes,