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Speaker 1: On a Thursday afternoon. The Princess died. Prince Charles relationship

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Speaker 1: has always been something which has fascinated fascinated everybody, and

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Speaker 1: obviously the circumstance around her death absolutely terrible. And I'm

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Speaker 1: always amazed that stuff that comes out from Princess Died

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Speaker 1: since then, because it seems like she was so switched

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Speaker 1: on because she was super clever, and there's there's a

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Speaker 1: piece of day from a friend of hers talking about

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Speaker 1: how clever she actually was and the fact that she

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Speaker 1: didn't actually want to divorce Prince Charles as she thought

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Speaker 1: that they were stronger as separate partners who still worked

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Speaker 1: together within a relationship. Right, yeah, right, so still together.

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Speaker 1: So they're still married technically, but they're still but they're

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Speaker 1: working independently. It's like a partnership. Yeah, exactly right. It's

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Speaker 1: got me thinking a little bit more about relationships recently,

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Speaker 1: because I feel like the model that we kind of

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Speaker 1: got brought up with is this very much living in

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Speaker 1: each other's pockets sort of codependent thing, which I think

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Speaker 1: is in a very important part about relationships is being

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Speaker 1: vulnerable and being open about how you are and who

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Speaker 1: you are with each other. But at the same time,

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Speaker 1: I think that I think that it's important that you

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Speaker 1: have got I mean, maybe the Princess Die models a

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Speaker 1: little bit too extreme still married but not together sort

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Speaker 1: of thing, but I think it's really important to have

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Speaker 1: some sort of independence within your relationship, of course, and

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Speaker 1: that's been really stark for me during COVID nineteen because

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend Semmy, she lost her job and she hasn't

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Speaker 1: been able to work at the same time, she can't study,

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Speaker 1: and she's fully dependent on me. And then more recently

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Speaker 1: as well, it's been really tough for her mentally, so

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Speaker 1: she's become quite emotionally dependent on me. And I used

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Speaker 1: to think that, you know, for a long time for me,

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Speaker 1: this was very hard for me, like, oh God, how

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Speaker 1: hard is this. I can't believe how hard this is

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Speaker 1: for me. I'm carrying both of us, et cetera, et cetera.

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Speaker 1: Until I spoke to her about this a couple of

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Speaker 1: nights ago, and she said to me that which has

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Speaker 1: changed my pson active on it. One of the hardest

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Speaker 1: things for her has been admitting that she actually is

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Speaker 1: dependent on me. As a very proud person, that's not

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Speaker 1: something that she's wanted to relinquish and I'm going to

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Speaker 1: be honest, like, it's been really really hard living in

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Speaker 1: a relationship which initially yeah was certainly you think that

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Speaker 1: one of you can just hold up and support the

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Speaker 1: other one, But then after a while it gets to

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Speaker 1: the point where you're both kind of it's not something

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Speaker 1: that you can continue ticking over. I don't think for

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Speaker 1: very well why because it wears you both down the

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Speaker 1: nature of the dependency after a while. As I said,

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Speaker 1: from my side of things, like feeling like I'm carrying

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Speaker 1: for both of us, and from her side of things,

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Speaker 1: knowing that I am caring for both of us, and

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Speaker 1: how ashamed she is that she's put us in that circumstance.

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Speaker 1: And I'm sure that there's loads of people during COVID

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Speaker 1: who have lost their jobs. I've got lots of other

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Speaker 1: friends who are in exactly the same position and talking

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Speaker 1: to them about but the feeling like that they don't

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Speaker 1: feel as sexy around their partner, like all that sort

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Speaker 1: of stuff that comes from not feeling like you're contributing

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Speaker 1: can be really taxing on both of you. Yeah, of course,

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Speaker 1: can I ask you do you what do you have?

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Speaker 1: You struggled more with being in the position of supporting

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Speaker 1: her or do you struggle more when you're receiving support. Jesus,

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Speaker 1: I knew you'd ask me that. Let me ever think

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Speaker 1: about it. It's a very good question, thank you very much,

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Speaker 1: A very good question. We'll talk more up next on

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Speaker 1: kiss spilling Moody on a Thursday. Jesus, he it's Kiswelling

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Speaker 1: Moody on a Thursday. Thanks to Medibank Woods talking today

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Speaker 1: about an article it said the Princess di actually said

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Speaker 1: while she was married to Charles that she thought that

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Speaker 1: they would be far better separated and still working as

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Speaker 1: independent partners. It's kind of got me thinking about the

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Speaker 1: situation that I'm sure a lot of you guys are

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Speaker 1: in listening right now, which is COVID nineteen, and one

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Speaker 1: of you's probably lost your job, one of you is

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Speaker 1: probably trying to keep things afloat, and I'm in that situation.

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Speaker 1: I'm in that situation. My girlfriend lost their job, and

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Speaker 1: it's going to be I'm gonna be honest, like it's

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Speaker 1: been tough. I mean, like, ordinarily I think relationships thrive

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Speaker 1: when both people have some level of independence, And yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think it's been really tough knowing that I'm the

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Speaker 1: one sort of holding us both up at the moment.

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Speaker 1: If for me, honest, it's a shame of getting emotional

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Speaker 1: talking about this. But no, that's all right. It's tough.

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Speaker 1: It's been shit. Yeah, And this is you playing the supporter.

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Speaker 1: And I actually asked you a question before the song,

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Speaker 1: which I'm really interesting to hear your answer, because right

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Speaker 1: now you're playing the supporter. And my question to you

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Speaker 1: is do you find that harder than playing the role

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Speaker 1: of the one being supported? I find it hard to

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Speaker 1: be supported. Yeah, I'm not very good. I'm not very

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Speaker 1: good at accepting support classic man. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not

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Speaker 1: very good at that at all. Yeah. So is that

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Speaker 1: harder than supporting? No? No, And to be honest, that's

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Speaker 1: that's another part of it which I've found fascinating recently.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure other people in relationships during COVID have felt

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Speaker 1: the same as I'd run, I'd keep going until my

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Speaker 1: feet fall off if it meant supporting him, I just

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Speaker 1: keep doing that. So she had to be the one

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Speaker 1: to tap me on the shoulder recently and go, you're

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Speaker 1: giving too much. Yeah, something needs to change. Yeah, So

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Speaker 1: what do you mean by giving giving too much? Has

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Speaker 1: in like sacrificing emotionally, preserve all my strength for her,

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Speaker 1: make sure that I'm you know fully there for her.

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Speaker 1: Obviously I'm financially supporting us both, like everything I possibly

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Speaker 1: can to hold up the relationship is where all my

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Speaker 1: energy is going. I've got no chance to be standing

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Speaker 1: by myself and independent on myself. And I think, you know,

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Speaker 1: if I can use an analogy, as I was saying before,

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Speaker 1: the old idea of a relationship where you've got this

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Speaker 1: codependence where you sort of lean on each other. If

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Speaker 1: you think about two big wooden beams sort of leaning

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Speaker 1: on each other and they sort of share the pressure

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Speaker 1: at the apex. The problem is, I think with something

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Speaker 1: like COVID and people losing their jobs and stuff, one

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Speaker 1: of those pillars is able to stand up straight, but

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Speaker 1: the other one's still leaning on it. And I think

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Speaker 1: that when that happens, it's just a matter. It's just

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Speaker 1: a matter of how long that can be held up for.

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Speaker 1: And it's I think it's it's going to be really

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Speaker 1: hard for people over the next little while to still

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Speaker 1: try and find independence within how codependent people are becoming.

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Speaker 1: And I reckon that's really important. And you've said I've

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Speaker 1: got a book in front of me woods. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: got my face on it. It's got a guy called

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Speaker 1: Khalil Gibran on front of it. It's one of my

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Speaker 1: favorit books, said double Ganger. It's called The Prophet. It's

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Speaker 1: called the Prophet's Light Reading for Will, and he just

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Speaker 1: writes little bits on different things in your life that

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Speaker 1: he thinks are important. It's from a very good friend

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Speaker 1: of mine, Cody, and I just thought i'd share a

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Speaker 1: bit from this. I don't know if it inspires anyone,

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Speaker 1: but it always made me think about relationships and how

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Speaker 1: important this is, and the Princess Diane Chrail stuff that

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Speaker 1: made me think about this. He's talking about marriage, but

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Speaker 1: essentially long term relationships. He says, fill each other's cup,

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Speaker 1: but drink not from one cup. Feel each other's cuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but drink from one cup, but don't don't drink cup,

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Speaker 1: So drink from both. Yeah. For even as the strings

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Speaker 1: on a guitar are alone, they quiver with the same music.

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Speaker 1: Totally have a think about that. Even though you're playing gus,

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Speaker 1: you're was wasted on you. Sorry, we're gonna Gora from

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Speaker 1: Drink from any cup you want. And then played the

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Speaker 1: guitar together. So what you're trying to say is if

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Speaker 1: you're struggling, hey, learn the guitar and have a drink.

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Speaker 1: That's actually a really good right. You're gonna go to

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Speaker 1: what you and you're listening to Kiss Thrilling Woody Podcasting

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Speaker 1: now