Speaker 1: Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 2: I'm Laura and I'm Brittany. And today, who's the day? Guys,
Speaker 2: It's not the day, it's just thursdays. Well, it's our day,
Speaker 2: you know. And you know what today is.
Speaker 1: Today is the day where we answer your deep, dark
Speaker 1: and burning questions. This is our Ask Uncut episode where
Speaker 1: you guys writing your questions and we answer them.
Speaker 2: It's always a highlight of my weight because you never
Speaker 2: know what you're going to get.
Speaker 1: It's a really original idea, isn't it. It's a little
Speaker 1: fun back it is. I have a really sexy question
Speaker 1: for you today.
Speaker 2: I love when you bring me a low key sexy
Speaker 2: Actually not even low key. I just love the sexy question.
Speaker 2: It's a high key sexy question. Love a high key
Speaker 2: sexy question. Have you got anything to bring to the
Speaker 2: table before we jump in? Has anything happened to you
Speaker 2: in the last couple of days? My kitchen flooded? Does
Speaker 2: that count? Do you want anything worthwhile kitchen flooded?
Speaker 1: Of course, your kitchen flooded. My kitchen flooded. I'm still
Speaker 1: dealing with Marley having gastro. We got the all, okay,
Speaker 1: for her to go back to daycare today. That was exciting,
Speaker 1: and then my kitchen flooded. I deal with very boring
Speaker 1: stuff in my day to day life.
Speaker 2: This is the one.
Speaker 1: Thing like doing this podcast is like the one thing
Speaker 1: that keeps me semi attached to adults. Otherwise I would
Speaker 1: just be ruminating in child pooh, dirty nappies and broken
Speaker 1: kitchen ware.
Speaker 2: I love that you put me in the group of adults.
Speaker 2: I mean, it depends on the day, doesn't it. Look
Speaker 2: I had an interesting discussion that I just wanted to
Speaker 2: ask you. This is this is good, nothing to do
Speaker 2: with absolutely anything great, Let's talk about it on the podcast. Well,
Speaker 2: the only person I have to ask is you, because
Speaker 2: you're the only other adult contact I have, and literally
Speaker 2: everyone in my life has moved away. I feel like,
Speaker 2: actually I'm the common denominated man. I should wonder why ever,
Speaker 2: Rue's moving Like Eve, my boyfriend went overseas. Even I'm
Speaker 2: a boyfriend is like kay, I love you buye. No.
Speaker 2: I had a discussion with a few people a few
Speaker 2: days ago. My sister isn't one of them, her partner
Speaker 2: was one of them. I want to know when you're
Speaker 2: in the shower this isn't getting sexy. Do you literally
Speaker 2: wash your whole body with soap or wash or do
Speaker 2: you just like do the main parts, like the underarm's face, privates,
Speaker 2: but and then just let the water do the rest.
Speaker 2: And this is a genuine question, because this got quite heated.
Speaker 2: I have had this conversation with someone before. I don't
Speaker 2: think I've ever washed my legs. Okay, was the last time?
Speaker 2: Who the fuck washes the shins? Thank you? Who goes? Oh?
Speaker 2: My gas strop nemius aka my car muscle needs to
Speaker 2: be washed? Like, you don't hug with your leg, you
Speaker 2: don't kiss with your leg, you don't eat off your calf. Well,
Speaker 2: I mean normal people don't eat off their calf.
Speaker 1: I mean, like unless I've been doing something that's particularly dirty,
Speaker 1: or I've been to the beat something where like my
Speaker 1: body has been Let's say, if I was doing the gardening,
Speaker 1: I'd probably washed my shins. But in a normal day
Speaker 1: to day, in a day when I've been wearing jeans
Speaker 1: and just you know, taking out the garbage and living
Speaker 1: a normal life, I'm not washing my shins.
Speaker 2: Do you wash your feet though? Okay? Again, and you
Speaker 2: know what, so many people are gonna come and question this. Okay,
Speaker 2: but I told a story about how I did shit
Speaker 2: in the shower. You've actually set me up for the
Speaker 2: rest of existence. Like, I'll never beat that, I genuinely
Speaker 2: on a day to day again, unless I have him
Speaker 2: walking around barefoot and I've walked you mud, or I
Speaker 2: just feel like my feet are dirty. I don't scrub
Speaker 2: my feet in the shower. I let the water do it.
Speaker 2: I literally just like, do my face, do my underarms,
Speaker 2: do my private parts, and then that's it. I don't
Speaker 2: scrub the rest of my body, but I know a
Speaker 2: lot of people that do, And I'm like, how long,
Speaker 2: like my whole order would run out I actually do.
Speaker 2: I think I washed down to where I shave and
Speaker 2: then I just shave up. So like, what do you mean, Well,
Speaker 2: like I wash down to like the tops of my thighs,
Speaker 2: and then I shave from the ankles to the tops
Speaker 2: of my thighs. So I kind of I usually kind
Speaker 2: of wash them kind of, but not what you shaved
Speaker 2: to the top of your thigh Why don't you shave
Speaker 2: the top of your thighs. I just kind of no
Speaker 2: one sees them. So you you're telling me you've got
Speaker 2: like a three centimeter radius that goes around on your
Speaker 2: thighs like a garter's unshaved. It's Harry hairy. You've got
Speaker 2: a hairy patch on both legs. I've basically got the
Speaker 2: whole upper thighs hairy. But like, let's be real, everything
Speaker 2: from above my knees is hairy. No one fucking sees
Speaker 2: it anymore. Okay, So I feel like we can settle.
Speaker 2: I mean, like, you know what, we love a pole
Speaker 2: here at Lifeline CUD. I want to put a pole on.
Speaker 2: Do you guys wash your legs like you're just your
Speaker 2: actual legs on a day to day Just.
Speaker 1: While we're really getting into some personal hygiene here, when
Speaker 1: was the last time you washed your bra?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I'm pretty good with that. Statistics say no, Statistics
Speaker 2: say otherwise. Statistics say you lying, Brittany.
Speaker 1: Well, apparently women don't wash their bras once a month.
Speaker 1: That's like an average thing for us wearing bras.
Speaker 2: Actually, No, in all honesty, I probably wouldn't be that
Speaker 2: far off. I reckon I would be a probably a
Speaker 2: three weeker unless I'm talking like a normal bra when
Speaker 2: you just go to work and sit down when you're
Speaker 2: not sweating it out, it's not a crop top that
Speaker 2: you've gone to a cycle class in and like you need.
Speaker 1: To wash that shit, Well wait until you re lax heating,
Speaker 1: because if you don't wash it every day, you smell
Speaker 1: like four day old coffee. It's that what's in this
Speaker 1: rooms rotting soy milk in my top.
Speaker 2: Okay, anyways, this is too much. This is too much.
Speaker 2: Let's get into something that is even more, which is
Speaker 2: this question from our very first listener. Ladies, I love
Speaker 2: your podcast. I love how outrageous you are. However, I
Speaker 2: love that we keep that in every question.
Speaker 1: I am super conservative, but that doesn't mean a podcast, girl,
Speaker 1: where did you get lost? We we're happy that you're here,
Speaker 1: and we're happy to bring you some very unconventional topics
Speaker 1: from time to time. But she goes on to say
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean I don't like a bit of butt stuff.
Speaker 1: The problem is I just don't know how to ask
Speaker 1: for it. Do I have to ask for it in
Speaker 1: the bedroom when things are getting steamy? Or do I
Speaker 1: ask for it out of the bedroom.
Speaker 2: I've recently started dating a guy and things are very vanilla,
Speaker 2: even more vanilla than what I'm used to, and I
Speaker 2: really would just like a finger in the backside. How
Speaker 2: do I ask for? First of all, I think you
Speaker 2: need to look up the definition of conservative because you
Speaker 2: don't seem to be. You can be concervative, you can
Speaker 2: love missionary and also like a pinky in the stinky.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. I'm saying I don't think you are.
Speaker 2: I think like I think you've put a label on
Speaker 2: yourself that maybe you are not. I love this question
Speaker 2: because the old Brittany, and I say the old because
Speaker 2: I myself have learned a lot by doing this podcast
Speaker 2: and the people we have been speaking to. You thought
Speaker 2: I was going to say something else.
Speaker 1: I like with age, I just you know what, I
Speaker 1: just grab his hand and stick it up there.
Speaker 2: Now, look, it's not for everyone, and that's okay. Before
Speaker 2: I did the podcast, and before we spoke to some
Speaker 2: of our sexologists that we've had on and we've done
Speaker 2: our research on that, I would have said, just start
Speaker 2: the dirty talk and say what you want. In the bedroom,
Speaker 2: I would have said, let's just get freaky, tell him
Speaker 2: what you want, try and make it sexy with springs
Speaker 2: ear and like put your sword, remember, yeah, do it
Speaker 2: now start it in. But now after speaking to some
Speaker 2: of our lovely sexologists that we've had on we literally
Speaker 2: had this question coming a lot because I think a
Speaker 2: lot of people I think it's a problem that they have.
Speaker 2: They want certain things, they think maybe their partner doesn't.
Speaker 2: They're embarrassed, they don't know how to ask for what
Speaker 2: they want, and they don't know how to have those conversations.
Speaker 2: But we were told that it's probably more important to
Speaker 2: have the conversations like this and what you want in
Speaker 2: the bedroom outside of the bedroom, have especially when it's
Speaker 2: something you don't know how your partner's going to react.
Speaker 2: So the advice we got was have the conversation. I
Speaker 2: mean you could have it every dinner. You'd be like, hey,
Speaker 2: like I've been thinking you want to try something different?
Speaker 1: Could you imagine talking about a butt play over a
Speaker 1: spaghetti snara now if you're eating a sausage or something.
Speaker 1: But like, okay, I'm fence sitting with this because I
Speaker 1: don't think that every single sexual conversation has to be
Speaker 1: like a let's sit down and talk about I would
Speaker 1: like you to put your index finger into my backside, please, sir.
Speaker 1: Let's change bank accounts because interest is better and can
Speaker 1: you put your finger in my buttetally.
Speaker 2: I reckon you can do that in the bedroom. I
Speaker 2: think if you want to try something that's really outlandish
Speaker 2: and like a little bit left of field and wild
Speaker 2: and you've got like a bit of a kink fetish,
Speaker 2: then sure it like outside the bedroom is important because
Speaker 2: you kind of want to make sure that there's safety
Speaker 2: and comfort and everyone's consenting and that everyone's on board.
Speaker 2: But I reckon if you just kind of back up
Speaker 2: on it a.
Speaker 1: Bit and just give, just give a few subtle clothes,
Speaker 1: like I don't think this needs to be a big conversation.
Speaker 1: I think in a bit of a heat of the moment,
Speaker 1: did a sexy husky voice. You can tell him that
Speaker 1: you want that, and then if he doesn't do it,
Speaker 1: or he's like what, be like, I don't know, sorry, sorry,
Speaker 1: well I didn't say anything.
Speaker 2: You mom, Hey, you no, and and like in all honesty,
Speaker 2: I'm just repeating the advice that the suggestion from the sexologist.
Speaker 2: If this was me and I was trying to bring
Speaker 2: something else into the bedroom, I personally would rather do
Speaker 2: that in the bedroom. That's for me, And I know
Speaker 2: the advice could say otherwise, but I would probably you know,
Speaker 2: maybe starting to cures, maybe sounding a freaky. Maybe you'd
Speaker 2: say something like, I can't begome, I'm gonna be an example. Now,
Speaker 2: maybe you would say something like, hey, you don't try
Speaker 2: something different tonight, something like that. As you're like taking
Speaker 2: each other's clothes, what would you say, Britt, Well, I'm
Speaker 2: not going to give you my whole dialogue time with
Speaker 2: the next car. Then I make a flow chart step through.
Speaker 2: I want, I want to I want to step by.
Speaker 2: I want to color my numbers about how you would
Speaker 2: ask Jordan to stick his finger in your bum? Oh,
Speaker 2: he would run a mile. But I think that I
Speaker 2: do think that this is something and I think this
Speaker 2: is something you want. This is something you've been thinking about,
Speaker 2: and it is something that is one hundred percent okay.
Speaker 2: And you're in a relationship with someone that you love.
Speaker 2: I hate the fact that you feel like you don't
Speaker 2: know how to bring that up to him because you
Speaker 2: should be in a place where you are comfortable enough.
Speaker 2: So I think next time you're in the bedroom and
Speaker 2: it's starting to get heated, I think just start the
Speaker 2: conversation and say hey. You could start it literally with hey,
Speaker 2: you want to try something different? Tonight and he's gonna
Speaker 2: say what. And I also think it's not that wild,
Speaker 2: Like it might be wild for you to ask for it,
Speaker 2: and it might be something that pushes you outside your
Speaker 2: comfort zone, which is totally fine and totally normal. And
Speaker 2: this is not in any way to like diminish how
Speaker 2: big of an issue this is for you asking for it.
Speaker 1: But I think it's probably a pretty common thing that
Speaker 1: a lot of people like and a lot of people
Speaker 1: ask for. So I don't think that you're going to
Speaker 1: be seking for something that's like so outrageously wild that
Speaker 1: he's going to turn around and be like, oh, you
Speaker 1: want me to do what? Strap it on, girlfriend, let's go.
Speaker 2: And if you can't ask it with your partner, then
Speaker 2: you're never gonna live out that fantasy. So go wild, Yeah,
Speaker 2: live your best best life with a finger in your
Speaker 2: bub I still love that you said, back up on it. Okay,
Speaker 2: question number two. And we're getting into a couple more
Speaker 2: serious questions now. Okay, I'm bringing question number two all right.
Speaker 2: Hit me. So, on the weekend, my boyfriend, his friend,
Speaker 2: my friend, and I decided to kick on for a
Speaker 2: few drinks after a footy game. My boyfriend's friend goes
Speaker 2: home and leaves just the three of us out, so
Speaker 2: it's just me and my boyfriend and my friend. The
Speaker 2: afternoon drinks turns into a bit of a pub crawl,
Speaker 2: and at the second pub, my single friend says to me,
Speaker 2: you know, I would date your boyfriend if you weren't
Speaker 2: dating him. Cool quick. She then says, in what world
Speaker 2: is that okay to say? Should I let her know
Speaker 2: that she's upset me and made me super uncomfortable and
Speaker 2: move on with her in my life like normal? Or
Speaker 2: is this friendship canceled? What do I do? No, I
Speaker 2: don't think the friendship's cancer. Yeah, Like, look, it's a
Speaker 2: weird thing to say she'd obviously had a few drinks.
Speaker 2: I don't think it means that she's going to act
Speaker 2: on anything, but like, I don't know. I mean, I
Speaker 2: don't think it's a bad thing that your friend thinks
Speaker 2: that your partner is desirable and a good catch. Like
Speaker 2: I tell it as a compliment. I would hope that
Speaker 2: my friends think that my partner is a good catch
Speaker 2: and like, in another world, in another time, would pursue
Speaker 2: him because he's such an eligible guy.
Speaker 1: Hey, actually that's a lie. Some of my friends did
Speaker 1: try and pursue him. I'm still friends with girls in
Speaker 1: the Bachelor.
Speaker 2: I was looking at you shocked. I was like, was
Speaker 2: this who would have done that? And why are you
Speaker 2: still friends? But no, your situation. Look, I think I
Speaker 2: can understand that there might be a little bit of
Speaker 2: you that feels threatened. Obviously, you trust your partner, He's
Speaker 2: done nothing wrong. But if in this you feel threatened
Speaker 2: by your friend or you feel like you can't trust her,
Speaker 2: then that is a bigger conversation to have. However, if
Speaker 2: you do actually really trust her, then I think take
Speaker 2: it as a compliment. I agree with Laura. I think
Speaker 2: that this does not have to be a big thing.
Speaker 2: If you got the feeling from her that this is
Speaker 2: more than that, then yeah, I would be questioning a
Speaker 2: lot in that friendship. And obviously you have felt that
Speaker 2: to some extent, otherwise you wouldn't be writing in But
Speaker 2: if it's just the fact that she was like, like,
Speaker 2: I would be dating him, girl, run with that, because
Speaker 2: that's better than imagine if I went to you, Laura
Speaker 2: and was like, I would never date someone like Matt,
Speaker 2: like he is terrible, Like you want you don't want
Speaker 2: your friends to think your partner is terrible. You want
Speaker 2: to have a relationship that people want because that means
Speaker 2: you're doing it well. Would you date Matt in another world?
Speaker 2: I mean if I didn't, If I was dead and
Speaker 2: my two children needed a mother, would you step into
Speaker 2: that role if I had to happen for you, I
Speaker 2: mean a dead spirit to help the kids that I
Speaker 2: got really morbid, really quickly. Wait, Okay, I'm going to
Speaker 2: put this on record, write an article about this one. Brittany,
Speaker 2: will you date Matti J No? I am not dating Madge.
Speaker 2: I mean you shared a bachelor than mine. No. I
Speaker 2: often think that. I was like, imagine if you and
Speaker 2: I were on the same thing, on the same one,
Speaker 2: would probably not be friends. Actually, one of my really
Speaker 2: good girlfriends almost ended up on my season, and I
Speaker 2: remember sitting down with I hadn't told her that I
Speaker 2: was going on, and she had been approached by the
Speaker 2: producers as well and the casting agents, and she had
Speaker 2: been asked to go on there, but she declined, and
Speaker 2: I said yes, And I didn't tell her because I
Speaker 2: didn't want it to become a competition. I wanted her
Speaker 2: to make her decision regardless of what my decision was
Speaker 2: I wanted it to be completely independent of each other.
Speaker 2: But she still makes a joke about it, and she's like,
Speaker 2: remember that time that we almost competed over the same guy.
Speaker 2: And then weirdly, she asked me to.
Speaker 1: Start a podcast with her a week after we had
Speaker 1: agreed to do it, and she's like, why do I
Speaker 1: keep missing like my life's calling?
Speaker 2: A week after bag Ass Girl that ship sailed. I
Speaker 2: have been in this position before where I have said
Speaker 2: things to my friends, like when I was in the
Speaker 2: depths of my ten years of singletom, when I was
Speaker 2: on dates with terrible, terrible people. I have said to
Speaker 2: one of my best friends before. I mean, like, I'll
Speaker 2: just call it out. Renee and Andrew. My remain's on
Speaker 2: my best friends. They have such a beautiful relationship and
Speaker 2: he treats her like an absolute princess. And there were
Speaker 2: times that I would say to her like, God, you're lucky,
Speaker 2: Like where do I get one of those? And I
Speaker 2: in no way would ever date him. What I mean
Speaker 2: is like you snagged a good one, like you should
Speaker 2: be chuffed? Where can I go find a good one?
Speaker 2: Kind of thing? And that was never a problem with
Speaker 2: our friendship. Because I didn't mean anything by it other
Speaker 2: than like I was just in a place of despair,
Speaker 2: and she knows there was nothing by it because I'm
Speaker 2: a best friend. I think that in this you should
Speaker 2: just be flattered unless you actually think something is going
Speaker 2: on or she's going to make a move. Then for sure,
Speaker 2: if you believe that there's something more, one hundred percent
Speaker 2: say something. Otherwise you're just going to dwell on it
Speaker 2: and it's going to implode. I think canceling the friendship
Speaker 2: is Honestly, I think that is an overreaction one hundred
Speaker 2: percent if all she's really done is in a backhanded way,
Speaker 2: I guess given you a compliment. Yeah, And I also
Speaker 2: think as well, like, unpack your own insecurities around this.
Speaker 2: You know, is there something or a bigger reason as
Speaker 2: to why you feel this way? Do you feel a
Speaker 2: little bit insecure in your relationship? Are you comparing yourself
Speaker 2: to her and you're thinking, oh, like am I matching up?
Speaker 2: Which obviously one that's all your own junk to unpack.
Speaker 2: It's not a reflection of your relationship with your partner,
Speaker 2: and it's certainly not a reflection of your relationship with
Speaker 2: your friend. That could be like some insecurity that you're
Speaker 2: feeling there as well as to why you've had such
Speaker 2: a big adverse reaction to this. And I also do
Speaker 2: think a little bit maybe and not to make an
Speaker 2: allowance from drinking, but I think that sometimes things can
Speaker 2: be said in not the best way when there's been
Speaker 2: a few too many drinks. And maybe she did mean
Speaker 2: it as a compliment and she meant to be like fuck,
Speaker 2: like your boyfriend is amazing. She's probably doing a real
Speaker 2: boyfriend's amazing, and I'm jealous of I don't have someone
Speaker 2: amazing in my life like this. Yeah, not physically him.
Speaker 1: Yes, So I mean, see how you feel in the
Speaker 1: coming weeks when you're around your friends, See how you
Speaker 1: feel the next time when the three of you together.
Speaker 1: If it gives you the he begbi's because you think
Speaker 1: that she's disingenuous and you think that there's something else there,
Speaker 1: then like totally, like maybe make some distance in that friendship.
Speaker 1: But if this is just one thing that she's said,
Speaker 1: I think canceling the friendship is a really extreme step away.
Speaker 2: Ultimately, Also, who's dating him? You are lucky lucky lady.
Speaker 2: Yeah you roll with that Alrighty, I have a question here,
Speaker 2: and I feel like everybody may have been in this
Speaker 2: situation at some point in time. Not everybody, but Laura.
Speaker 2: Not everyone is food in the shower. You need to
Speaker 2: let that one go. Okay, and not everyone's been online dating.
Speaker 2: But I think that this is going to be way
Speaker 2: more common than what we might think straight away. Okay.
Speaker 1: I work in an office with a relatively big team.
Speaker 1: Our office is pretty close knit despite the size, and
Speaker 1: as such, I know a lot of my colleagues's partners
Speaker 1: from various work functions. So this is where it gets
Speaker 1: really tricky. There is a woman in my office who
Speaker 1: is about five years older than me. She's engaged, and
Speaker 1: I've met her fiance a few times. The last time
Speaker 1: was just a couple of months ago. So you can
Speaker 1: imagine my surprise when I saw his face pop up
Speaker 1: on Hinge when I was away in Queensland for a
Speaker 1: weekend with my girlfriends. We're both from Perth, so I
Speaker 1: can only suspect that he was in Queensland on a
Speaker 1: holiday without his fiance. What do I do do I
Speaker 1: tell her like, maybe they have an open relationship, but
Speaker 1: I really don't think that they do. And I also
Speaker 1: think he must have been doing the dirty on her.
Speaker 2: Oh boy, he's doing the dirty for sure. This is
Speaker 2: a little I mean, this is a tough one because
Speaker 2: you're in an awkward situation. No one wants to have
Speaker 2: that conversation. I have been in that place before. I
Speaker 2: had anxiety over it. I was in a really like
Speaker 2: I was like, fuck, I do not want to do this,
Speaker 2: No pardon wants to do this. But deep down I
Speaker 2: was like, would I want to know? Yes, the answer
Speaker 2: is yes. If you didn't really know this woman, like
Speaker 2: you'd met her through a social circle once, then I'm like,
Speaker 2: maybe that's not your place, but you work with her,
Speaker 2: you said you know her, you know that that is
Speaker 2: her fiance. One hundred percent I think that, yeah, you
Speaker 2: probably need to have the conversation. And you are one
Speaker 2: hundred percent right. They could very well be in a happy,
Speaker 2: open relationship. So I think you need to approach it
Speaker 2: with a little bit of caution. Don't approach it with accusations,
Speaker 2: but approach it like, look, I just wanted to flag
Speaker 2: something with you. This may not be my place, and
Speaker 2: tell me if I am out of place. But when
Speaker 2: I was in Queensland, I saw your partner online dating
Speaker 2: I'm not saying I know why, and I'm not saying
Speaker 2: he was necessarily doing the wrong thing. I just want
Speaker 2: to alert you to the fact that in case you
Speaker 2: guys haven't agreed to be seeing other people, I just
Speaker 2: want you to know that I saw him on there,
Speaker 2: and I'm really really sorry that I'm the one telling
Speaker 2: you this. And again, I'm sorry if I'm out of place,
Speaker 2: because if he is doing the wrong thing, this is
Speaker 2: going to come as a real shock to her and
Speaker 2: she might get defensive. That might be her first reaction,
Speaker 2: which is completely one hundred percent normal reaction, is to
Speaker 2: be like, well, no, that was not him. A. There's
Speaker 2: a level of embarrassment. B. There's a level of shock
Speaker 2: and disbelief if you think you're engaged to someone and
Speaker 2: then someone literally pulls you out on your lunch break
Speaker 2: and says, I think your partner doing the dirty, Like
Speaker 2: I know. When that happened to me, my first reaction
Speaker 2: was just like, Okay, you're just obviously trying to ruin
Speaker 2: my life, like he would not do the dirty on me.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: And there's a massive, massive potential here that she's not
Speaker 1: going to believe you anyway. I mean, there's a good
Speaker 1: chance he's gonna lie and say I wasn't. She's got
Speaker 1: a mistaken she's crazy. When it was someone that looks
Speaker 1: like me. Yeah, someone stole my photo.
Speaker 2: Maybe my account just managed to like randomly pop back
Speaker 2: up in circulation. We've all heard that from a guy.
Speaker 2: So okay, look, I've been in a similar situation to this.
Speaker 2: This actually happened to me, but it happened as in
Speaker 2: I found out that my ex boyfriend was on Tinder
Speaker 2: while we were dating after we had broken up. So
Speaker 2: this is a bit of a weird story, but I
Speaker 2: didn't to tell you anyway. So I'd been dating this
Speaker 2: guy for a year and a half and we had
Speaker 2: had some issues with infidelity issues. When I say that,
Speaker 2: I mean like he cheated on me. It was a cheat,
Speaker 2: did I mean? He had issues with keeping his dick
Speaker 2: in his pants? That was the issue, because it's reoccurring
Speaker 2: and it was crazy. But anyway, and so.
Speaker 1: He would say to me, you know, he I would
Speaker 1: jump on Tinder, and I had found out from other
Speaker 1: people that he had kind of fired up the old
Speaker 1: dating apps, and he said he only used them as
Speaker 1: a way of getting validation. You know, he wanted to
Speaker 1: feel validated. It was like a bit of a dopamine
Speaker 1: hit swiping and having people like want to match him
Speaker 1: whatever in sert. I roll, yeah, and I fell for it,
Speaker 1: you know, and I kind of made excuses for him.
Speaker 1: And anyway, long story short, after we broke up, one
Speaker 1: of my staff, which makes this so much more embarrassing,
Speaker 1: one of my staff came to me and said, Laura,
Speaker 1: I have been so frightened to tell you this because
Speaker 1: I don't want to lose my job. And she's like,
Speaker 1: but I don't want you to get back with your
Speaker 1: ex because dick.
Speaker 2: Fell out in his pants again. I know. She was like,
Speaker 2: because I have been in this really, really awkward situation
Speaker 2: this last couple of months. Basically what had happened was
Speaker 2: is my ex had fired up Tinder when I had
Speaker 2: been away. He had matched with my staff's friend. Right
Speaker 2: they had gone on a date I had come back
Speaker 2: from being away. Who knows what happened. I didn't go
Speaker 2: into the full details with her, but it wasn't until
Speaker 2: my ex came to work this one day to pick
Speaker 2: me up from work and I introduced him to my
Speaker 2: staff member and my staff was like, holy shit, hang
Speaker 2: on a minute.
Speaker 1: My friend just went on a date with my boss's boyfriend,
Speaker 1: Like you cannot write this shit, guys. And she didn't
Speaker 1: tell me until after we had broken up from like
Speaker 1: you know, other things that had happened further down the track,
Speaker 1: and I was so upset. I wasn't upset that she'd
Speaker 1: kept it from me personally, but I just was like,
Speaker 1: I wish I had known, Like I wish that you
Speaker 1: had trusted that I wasn't going to shoot the messenger
Speaker 1: or act crazy. I just wish that you had come
Speaker 1: to me and told me that and given me the
Speaker 1: same courtesy that I think you would expect for yourself.
Speaker 1: In her defense, though I'm gonna say this, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: try and not be biased, I would probably be equally
Speaker 1: petrified when it was my boss and when you when
Speaker 1: you were scared for your job, Like imagine going your
Speaker 1: boss being like YO, hate to be the one that
Speaker 1: tells you, but your boyfriend's doing the dirty.
Speaker 2: You'd be scared that they would be like, you know what,
Speaker 2: you're fined like no, or they just turn around and
Speaker 2: don't believe you, and then there's this complete mismatch of power.
Speaker 2: I completely understand, and I also think in this situation.
Speaker 2: The thing that makes it so much harder is that
Speaker 2: this is your workplace and the old adage of like,
Speaker 2: don't shit where you eat right like you don't want
Speaker 2: honestly don't do it. It's really bad for your gut health.
Speaker 2: Guys her any help, like holistically just don't know.
Speaker 1: But I think you know you are going to bring
Speaker 1: some drama into your life and you cannot control the
Speaker 1: way that your colleague reacts to this, and she may
Speaker 1: shoot the messenger, this may go badly. I think you
Speaker 1: really have to sit with yourself and unpack your own
Speaker 1: moral compass. Do you have an overwhelming feeling where you
Speaker 1: need to tell her the whole girl code thing, all
Speaker 1: that stuff comes into play. And if the answer is
Speaker 1: yes to that, then go and tell her. And I
Speaker 1: think do it in a really, like Britz said, kind
Speaker 1: and considered way. Maybe go and have a coffee with
Speaker 1: her outside of work, so you're not doing it on
Speaker 1: a lunch break where she's then going to go back
Speaker 1: to the office and be in tears. Maybe see if
Speaker 1: you can have a coffee with her after work on
Speaker 1: a Friday or something where she can have the weekend
Speaker 1: to kind of collect her thoughts and you just have
Speaker 1: to say, you know. Hopefully you took a screenshot because
Speaker 1: that would be really helped full in this situation. But
Speaker 1: I think sit it down and say, you know when
Speaker 1: I was in Queensland, so that she can at least
Speaker 1: put a date time frame to this. I say, I
Speaker 1: saw this profile. I don't know what your relationship is like,
Speaker 1: but you know, if I was in your position, I
Speaker 1: would want to know this. And you know, I'm really
Speaker 1: sorry to be the person to give you this information,
Speaker 1: but I just want you to be able to make
Speaker 1: the best decisions for you, especially because she's engaged.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a big thing. Just think what you would
Speaker 2: want to do. You would want to know. I would
Speaker 2: think you would want to know. I would want to know.
Speaker 2: I actually asked Jordan this too, and he said that,
Speaker 2: like in a role reversal, he was like, it wouldn't
Speaker 2: matter to him what level of relationship he was at,
Speaker 2: whether it was a week in like it, just say
Speaker 2: it was me a week in, a month and six
Speaker 2: months in engaged married. He also wouldn't care who the
Speaker 2: information came from. He would one hundred percent want to know.
Speaker 2: So I found that really interesting. He was like I
Speaker 2: wouldn't have cared if someone off the street came up
Speaker 2: to him and was like, look, just so you know,
Speaker 2: He's like, that's just information. I'd want to know because
Speaker 2: I want to be able to make a decision on
Speaker 2: who I'm spending my life with knowing the whole realm
Speaker 2: of informations. And I was like, that's really interesting, because
Speaker 2: I wouldn't probably want Joe Blow to tell me off
Speaker 2: the street.
Speaker 1: But you also like you don't know where they're at
Speaker 1: in their relationship, Like she may already have her doubts.
Speaker 1: There may already be so many things that she is
Speaker 1: unsure about, and this might be the thing, Like this
Speaker 1: might be the catalyst that she needs that little bit
Speaker 1: of proof to kind of go Okay, I need to
Speaker 1: make a better decision about my relationships.
Speaker 2: Like yea. She could also be like, yeah, I told
Speaker 2: them to get lucky that we have a week a
Speaker 2: year that we say we can do we want. Like,
Speaker 2: there are so many aspects to a relationship. There's no
Speaker 2: normal relationship and there's no one size fits all for relationship.
Speaker 2: You know. I know people that take a week off
Speaker 2: a year from their relationship to do what they want
Speaker 2: and then they don't tell each other other, but they
Speaker 2: know that they're doing it, and then they just get
Speaker 2: back onto their relationship and it's what keeps them together
Speaker 2: long term. That is wild, but I mean I know
Speaker 2: it works. I know there's loads of people. We need
Speaker 2: to do an episode on open relationships. Yeah, I would
Speaker 2: love to speak to a listener. Actually, that's I would
Speaker 2: love one that's probably married or long term open relationship
Speaker 2: because I'd love to know the ins and outs and
Speaker 2: how that works. So if you, if you are in that,
Speaker 2: maybe slide into our dams.
Speaker 1: And that is it from us, guys, the world of wisdom,
Speaker 1: unqualified advice. I have no training, we have no qualifications.
Speaker 1: There is not a certificate on my wall. We have enthusiasm,
Speaker 1: a lot of it, and a lot of your exterior.
Speaker 2: I have seen some shit in my life. Guys, guys,
Speaker 2: keep those questions coming in. Just remember to write to
Speaker 2: our Instagram Life Uncut podcast with your questions. Put at
Speaker 2: the top of the message that it is asked uncut. Also,
Speaker 2: keep those accidentally unfiltered rolling in. We love those and
Speaker 2: remember nothing is off limits. Make them as sexy and
Speaker 2: as weird as wonderful as possible, but make sure you
Speaker 2: captu that message accidentally unfiltered too, so that we can
Speaker 2: go through and categorize them.
Speaker 1: And before we let you go, if you haven't already
Speaker 1: joined up to the Facebook group, where are you at?
Speaker 1: The Facebook group is such a beautiful community of people
Speaker 1: who were like minded, where you guys can unpack some
Speaker 1: of the podcasts topics. If you don't agree with Britt
Speaker 1: and I, that's your opportunity to voice your opinions and
Speaker 1: why you don't agree with us. We are all here
Speaker 1: for that as well. But also you're wrong, but sometimes
Speaker 1: we're wrong. You know, I'm here like you know, we
Speaker 1: all learn, we live, we make better decisions in the future.
Speaker 1: But there's also an Instagram page on his Life Uncut
Speaker 1: podcast as well. And we have been having some issues
Speaker 1: with Apple. They seem to semi sort their shit out
Speaker 1: at the moment, so you can subscribe through Apple. But
Speaker 1: if you haven't subscribed through Apple and you want to
Speaker 1: find us on Spotify, we're literally everywhere, guys, We've infiltrated
Speaker 1: all the platforms.
Speaker 2: Just try to get rid of us.
Speaker 1: And tell your um, tell your dad, tell your dog,
Speaker 1: tell your cousin, tell you frog to your sister, tell
Speaker 2: Your mother, tell you everyone and sad love because we
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