WEBVTT - ASK UNUT - Asking for butt stuff, Bad fiancé's and cancelling friendships 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:22.639 Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. 0:00:22.680 --> 0:00:26.680 I'm Laura and I'm Brittany. And today, who's the day? Guys, 0:00:26.960 --> 0:00:28.960 It's not the day, it's just thursdays. Well, it's our day, 0:00:29.040 --> 0:00:30.200 you know. And you know what today is. 0:00:30.320 --> 0:00:32.680 Today is the day where we answer your deep, dark 0:00:32.720 --> 0:00:35.920 and burning questions. This is our Ask Uncut episode where 0:00:35.960 --> 0:00:38.680 you guys writing your questions and we answer them. 0:00:39.000 --> 0:00:40.839 It's always a highlight of my weight because you never 0:00:40.880 --> 0:00:41.519 know what you're going to get. 0:00:41.560 --> 0:00:43.600 It's a really original idea, isn't it. It's a little 0:00:43.640 --> 0:00:46.200 fun back it is. I have a really sexy question 0:00:46.280 --> 0:00:46.800 for you today. 0:00:47.000 --> 0:00:48.840 I love when you bring me a low key sexy 0:00:48.960 --> 0:00:51.000 Actually not even low key. I just love the sexy question. 0:00:51.120 --> 0:00:52.919 It's a high key sexy question. Love a high key 0:00:52.920 --> 0:00:54.960 sexy question. Have you got anything to bring to the 0:00:54.960 --> 0:00:56.840 table before we jump in? Has anything happened to you 0:00:56.880 --> 0:00:59.319 in the last couple of days? My kitchen flooded? Does 0:00:59.320 --> 0:01:05.160 that count? Do you want anything worthwhile kitchen flooded? 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:08.679 Of course, your kitchen flooded. My kitchen flooded. I'm still 0:01:08.680 --> 0:01:11.080 dealing with Marley having gastro. We got the all, okay, 0:01:11.160 --> 0:01:13.399 for her to go back to daycare today. That was exciting, 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:16.120 and then my kitchen flooded. I deal with very boring 0:01:16.120 --> 0:01:17.520 stuff in my day to day life. 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:18.480 This is the one. 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:21.080 Thing like doing this podcast is like the one thing 0:01:21.120 --> 0:01:24.200 that keeps me semi attached to adults. Otherwise I would 0:01:24.280 --> 0:01:27.399 just be ruminating in child pooh, dirty nappies and broken 0:01:27.440 --> 0:01:27.920 kitchen ware. 0:01:28.040 --> 0:01:30.360 I love that you put me in the group of adults. 0:01:32.040 --> 0:01:34.440 I mean, it depends on the day, doesn't it. Look 0:01:34.480 --> 0:01:36.760 I had an interesting discussion that I just wanted to 0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:38.680 ask you. This is this is good, nothing to do 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:41.800 with absolutely anything great, Let's talk about it on the podcast. Well, 0:01:41.800 --> 0:01:43.960 the only person I have to ask is you, because 0:01:43.959 --> 0:01:46.200 you're the only other adult contact I have, and literally 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:47.920 everyone in my life has moved away. I feel like, 0:01:47.920 --> 0:01:50.440 actually I'm the common denominated man. I should wonder why ever, 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:55.200 Rue's moving Like Eve, my boyfriend went overseas. Even I'm 0:01:55.240 --> 0:01:57.480 a boyfriend is like kay, I love you buye. No. 0:01:57.800 --> 0:01:59.960 I had a discussion with a few people a few 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:02.520 days ago. My sister isn't one of them, her partner 0:02:02.520 --> 0:02:05.720 was one of them. I want to know when you're 0:02:05.760 --> 0:02:10.440 in the shower this isn't getting sexy. Do you literally 0:02:11.720 --> 0:02:14.080 wash your whole body with soap or wash or do 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:17.799 you just like do the main parts, like the underarm's face, privates, 0:02:17.880 --> 0:02:20.600 but and then just let the water do the rest. 0:02:21.080 --> 0:02:23.360 And this is a genuine question, because this got quite heated. 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:27.480 I have had this conversation with someone before. I don't 0:02:27.520 --> 0:02:30.160 think I've ever washed my legs. Okay, was the last time? 0:02:30.200 --> 0:02:33.400 Who the fuck washes the shins? Thank you? Who goes? Oh? 0:02:33.440 --> 0:02:36.640 My gas strop nemius aka my car muscle needs to 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:39.080 be washed? Like, you don't hug with your leg, you 0:02:39.120 --> 0:02:41.320 don't kiss with your leg, you don't eat off your calf. Well, 0:02:41.360 --> 0:02:42.840 I mean normal people don't eat off their calf. 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:45.160 I mean, like unless I've been doing something that's particularly dirty, 0:02:45.240 --> 0:02:47.040 or I've been to the beat something where like my 0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:49.440 body has been Let's say, if I was doing the gardening, 0:02:49.480 --> 0:02:51.960 I'd probably washed my shins. But in a normal day 0:02:52.000 --> 0:02:54.040 to day, in a day when I've been wearing jeans 0:02:54.080 --> 0:02:56.399 and just you know, taking out the garbage and living 0:02:56.440 --> 0:02:58.680 a normal life, I'm not washing my shins. 0:02:59.240 --> 0:03:02.240 Do you wash your feet though? Okay? Again, and you 0:03:02.240 --> 0:03:04.240 know what, so many people are gonna come and question this. Okay, 0:03:04.280 --> 0:03:05.680 but I told a story about how I did shit 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:09.200 in the shower. You've actually set me up for the 0:03:09.200 --> 0:03:13.280 rest of existence. Like, I'll never beat that, I genuinely 0:03:13.320 --> 0:03:15.079 on a day to day again, unless I have him 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:18.240 walking around barefoot and I've walked you mud, or I 0:03:18.360 --> 0:03:21.080 just feel like my feet are dirty. I don't scrub 0:03:21.120 --> 0:03:23.080 my feet in the shower. I let the water do it. 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:25.639 I literally just like, do my face, do my underarms, 0:03:25.960 --> 0:03:28.720 do my private parts, and then that's it. I don't 0:03:28.760 --> 0:03:31.000 scrub the rest of my body, but I know a 0:03:31.040 --> 0:03:32.839 lot of people that do, And I'm like, how long, 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:36.600 like my whole order would run out I actually do. 0:03:36.720 --> 0:03:39.320 I think I washed down to where I shave and 0:03:39.360 --> 0:03:42.200 then I just shave up. So like, what do you mean, Well, 0:03:42.200 --> 0:03:44.440 like I wash down to like the tops of my thighs, 0:03:44.880 --> 0:03:46.680 and then I shave from the ankles to the tops 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:49.000 of my thighs. So I kind of I usually kind 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:51.800 of wash them kind of, but not what you shaved 0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:53.320 to the top of your thigh Why don't you shave 0:03:53.360 --> 0:03:55.400 the top of your thighs. I just kind of no 0:03:55.440 --> 0:03:57.560 one sees them. So you you're telling me you've got 0:03:57.600 --> 0:04:00.280 like a three centimeter radius that goes around on your 0:04:00.280 --> 0:04:03.840 thighs like a garter's unshaved. It's Harry hairy. You've got 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:05.880 a hairy patch on both legs. I've basically got the 0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:08.400 whole upper thighs hairy. But like, let's be real, everything 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:10.480 from above my knees is hairy. No one fucking sees 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:14.480 it anymore. Okay, So I feel like we can settle. 0:04:14.760 --> 0:04:16.440 I mean, like, you know what, we love a pole 0:04:16.480 --> 0:04:18.000 here at Lifeline CUD. I want to put a pole on. 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:21.160 Do you guys wash your legs like you're just your 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:23.240 actual legs on a day to day Just. 0:04:23.160 --> 0:04:25.560 While we're really getting into some personal hygiene here, when 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:26.800 was the last time you washed your bra? 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:31.760 Yeah? I'm pretty good with that. Statistics say no, Statistics 0:04:31.800 --> 0:04:33.840 say otherwise. Statistics say you lying, Brittany. 0:04:33.880 --> 0:04:36.119 Well, apparently women don't wash their bras once a month. 0:04:36.200 --> 0:04:38.880 That's like an average thing for us wearing bras. 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:42.240 Actually, No, in all honesty, I probably wouldn't be that 0:04:42.360 --> 0:04:46.000 far off. I reckon I would be a probably a 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:49.360 three weeker unless I'm talking like a normal bra when 0:04:49.400 --> 0:04:51.080 you just go to work and sit down when you're 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:52.600 not sweating it out, it's not a crop top that 0:04:52.640 --> 0:04:54.400 you've gone to a cycle class in and like you need. 0:04:54.320 --> 0:04:56.120 To wash that shit, Well wait until you re lax heating, 0:04:56.160 --> 0:04:57.599 because if you don't wash it every day, you smell 0:04:57.640 --> 0:04:59.880 like four day old coffee. It's that what's in this 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:03.000 rooms rotting soy milk in my top. 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:05.520 Okay, anyways, this is too much. This is too much. 0:05:05.640 --> 0:05:08.080 Let's get into something that is even more, which is 0:05:08.080 --> 0:05:11.800 this question from our very first listener. Ladies, I love 0:05:11.800 --> 0:05:14.599 your podcast. I love how outrageous you are. However, I 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:16.119 love that we keep that in every question. 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:21.360 I am super conservative, but that doesn't mean a podcast, girl, 0:05:21.560 --> 0:05:24.760 where did you get lost? We we're happy that you're here, 0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:27.440 and we're happy to bring you some very unconventional topics 0:05:27.480 --> 0:05:29.960 from time to time. But she goes on to say 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:32.880 that doesn't mean I don't like a bit of butt stuff. 0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:35.560 The problem is I just don't know how to ask 0:05:35.600 --> 0:05:37.560 for it. Do I have to ask for it in 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:39.880 the bedroom when things are getting steamy? Or do I 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:41.240 ask for it out of the bedroom. 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:44.880 I've recently started dating a guy and things are very vanilla, 0:05:45.000 --> 0:05:47.320 even more vanilla than what I'm used to, and I 0:05:47.400 --> 0:05:50.400 really would just like a finger in the backside. How 0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:52.800 do I ask for? First of all, I think you 0:05:52.839 --> 0:05:55.240 need to look up the definition of conservative because you 0:05:55.320 --> 0:05:57.600 don't seem to be. You can be concervative, you can 0:05:57.640 --> 0:05:59.799 love missionary and also like a pinky in the stinky. 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:01.920 That's what I'm saying. I'm saying I don't think you are. 0:06:02.240 --> 0:06:04.280 I think like I think you've put a label on 0:06:04.279 --> 0:06:06.719 yourself that maybe you are not. I love this question 0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:11.360 because the old Brittany, and I say the old because 0:06:11.480 --> 0:06:14.320 I myself have learned a lot by doing this podcast 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:16.240 and the people we have been speaking to. You thought 0:06:16.240 --> 0:06:17.200 I was going to say something else. 0:06:18.160 --> 0:06:21.120 I like with age, I just you know what, I 0:06:21.160 --> 0:06:22.600 just grab his hand and stick it up there. 0:06:22.640 --> 0:06:27.080 Now, look, it's not for everyone, and that's okay. Before 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:29.520 I did the podcast, and before we spoke to some 0:06:29.560 --> 0:06:32.080 of our sexologists that we've had on and we've done 0:06:32.120 --> 0:06:35.680 our research on that, I would have said, just start 0:06:35.720 --> 0:06:37.760 the dirty talk and say what you want. In the bedroom, 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:40.160 I would have said, let's just get freaky, tell him 0:06:40.160 --> 0:06:42.080 what you want, try and make it sexy with springs 0:06:42.120 --> 0:06:44.840 ear and like put your sword, remember, yeah, do it 0:06:44.880 --> 0:06:49.320 now start it in. But now after speaking to some 0:06:49.360 --> 0:06:52.679 of our lovely sexologists that we've had on we literally 0:06:52.720 --> 0:06:54.520 had this question coming a lot because I think a 0:06:54.560 --> 0:06:57.480 lot of people I think it's a problem that they have. 0:06:57.680 --> 0:07:00.520 They want certain things, they think maybe their partner doesn't. 0:07:00.560 --> 0:07:02.599 They're embarrassed, they don't know how to ask for what 0:07:02.600 --> 0:07:04.960 they want, and they don't know how to have those conversations. 0:07:05.440 --> 0:07:08.599 But we were told that it's probably more important to 0:07:08.640 --> 0:07:10.840 have the conversations like this and what you want in 0:07:10.880 --> 0:07:14.480 the bedroom outside of the bedroom, have especially when it's 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:16.119 something you don't know how your partner's going to react. 0:07:16.160 --> 0:07:20.200 So the advice we got was have the conversation. I 0:07:20.200 --> 0:07:22.040 mean you could have it every dinner. You'd be like, hey, 0:07:22.200 --> 0:07:23.760 like I've been thinking you want to try something different? 0:07:23.800 --> 0:07:25.880 Could you imagine talking about a butt play over a 0:07:25.920 --> 0:07:28.600 spaghetti snara now if you're eating a sausage or something. 0:07:29.120 --> 0:07:32.640 But like, okay, I'm fence sitting with this because I 0:07:32.680 --> 0:07:35.360 don't think that every single sexual conversation has to be 0:07:35.480 --> 0:07:37.679 like a let's sit down and talk about I would 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:40.040 like you to put your index finger into my backside, please, sir. 0:07:40.240 --> 0:07:42.240 Let's change bank accounts because interest is better and can 0:07:42.280 --> 0:07:44.600 you put your finger in my buttetally. 0:07:43.840 --> 0:07:46.200 I reckon you can do that in the bedroom. I 0:07:46.200 --> 0:07:48.480 think if you want to try something that's really outlandish 0:07:48.520 --> 0:07:50.360 and like a little bit left of field and wild 0:07:50.360 --> 0:07:51.800 and you've got like a bit of a kink fetish, 0:07:51.880 --> 0:07:55.320 then sure it like outside the bedroom is important because 0:07:55.320 --> 0:07:57.000 you kind of want to make sure that there's safety 0:07:57.040 --> 0:08:00.280 and comfort and everyone's consenting and that everyone's on board. 0:08:00.520 --> 0:08:02.160 But I reckon if you just kind of back up 0:08:02.200 --> 0:08:02.640 on it a. 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:07.120 Bit and just give, just give a few subtle clothes, 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:09.880 like I don't think this needs to be a big conversation. 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:11.600 I think in a bit of a heat of the moment, 0:08:11.800 --> 0:08:14.400 did a sexy husky voice. You can tell him that 0:08:14.440 --> 0:08:16.560 you want that, and then if he doesn't do it, 0:08:16.640 --> 0:08:19.160 or he's like what, be like, I don't know, sorry, sorry, 0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:19.880 well I didn't say anything. 0:08:20.640 --> 0:08:24.720 You mom, Hey, you no, and and like in all honesty, 0:08:24.920 --> 0:08:28.200 I'm just repeating the advice that the suggestion from the sexologist. 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:31.520 If this was me and I was trying to bring 0:08:31.560 --> 0:08:35.560 something else into the bedroom, I personally would rather do 0:08:35.640 --> 0:08:37.400 that in the bedroom. That's for me, And I know 0:08:37.440 --> 0:08:40.480 the advice could say otherwise, but I would probably you know, 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:43.000 maybe starting to cures, maybe sounding a freaky. Maybe you'd 0:08:43.040 --> 0:08:45.640 say something like, I can't begome, I'm gonna be an example. Now, 0:08:45.960 --> 0:08:49.160 maybe you would say something like, hey, you don't try 0:08:49.200 --> 0:08:51.720 something different tonight, something like that. As you're like taking 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:53.720 each other's clothes, what would you say, Britt, Well, I'm 0:08:53.720 --> 0:08:55.480 not going to give you my whole dialogue time with 0:08:55.480 --> 0:08:58.320 the next car. Then I make a flow chart step through. 0:08:58.400 --> 0:09:00.000 I want, I want to I want to step by. 0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:01.920 I want to color my numbers about how you would 0:09:01.920 --> 0:09:03.800 ask Jordan to stick his finger in your bum? Oh, 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:09.320 he would run a mile. But I think that I 0:09:09.360 --> 0:09:11.280 do think that this is something and I think this 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:14.000 is something you want. This is something you've been thinking about, 0:09:14.120 --> 0:09:16.440 and it is something that is one hundred percent okay. 0:09:16.480 --> 0:09:19.120 And you're in a relationship with someone that you love. 0:09:20.280 --> 0:09:22.079 I hate the fact that you feel like you don't 0:09:22.120 --> 0:09:23.480 know how to bring that up to him because you 0:09:23.520 --> 0:09:25.520 should be in a place where you are comfortable enough. 0:09:25.559 --> 0:09:28.760 So I think next time you're in the bedroom and 0:09:28.760 --> 0:09:30.640 it's starting to get heated, I think just start the 0:09:30.640 --> 0:09:33.280 conversation and say hey. You could start it literally with hey, 0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:35.120 you want to try something different? Tonight and he's gonna 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:40.360 say what. And I also think it's not that wild, 0:09:40.440 --> 0:09:42.520 Like it might be wild for you to ask for it, 0:09:42.600 --> 0:09:44.400 and it might be something that pushes you outside your 0:09:44.440 --> 0:09:46.960 comfort zone, which is totally fine and totally normal. And 0:09:47.000 --> 0:09:50.160 this is not in any way to like diminish how 0:09:50.160 --> 0:09:52.559 big of an issue this is for you asking for it. 0:09:53.600 --> 0:09:55.720 But I think it's probably a pretty common thing that 0:09:55.760 --> 0:09:57.439 a lot of people like and a lot of people 0:09:57.480 --> 0:09:59.680 ask for. So I don't think that you're going to 0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:02.360 be seking for something that's like so outrageously wild that 0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:03.880 he's going to turn around and be like, oh, you 0:10:03.920 --> 0:10:06.800 want me to do what? Strap it on, girlfriend, let's go. 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:09.240 And if you can't ask it with your partner, then 0:10:09.360 --> 0:10:11.920 you're never gonna live out that fantasy. So go wild, Yeah, 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:14.400 live your best best life with a finger in your 0:10:14.400 --> 0:10:17.920 bub I still love that you said, back up on it. Okay, 0:10:18.000 --> 0:10:19.959 question number two. And we're getting into a couple more 0:10:20.000 --> 0:10:22.920 serious questions now. Okay, I'm bringing question number two all right. 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:26.520 Hit me. So, on the weekend, my boyfriend, his friend, 0:10:26.760 --> 0:10:28.920 my friend, and I decided to kick on for a 0:10:28.920 --> 0:10:32.319 few drinks after a footy game. My boyfriend's friend goes 0:10:32.360 --> 0:10:34.880 home and leaves just the three of us out, so 0:10:34.920 --> 0:10:38.000 it's just me and my boyfriend and my friend. The 0:10:38.040 --> 0:10:40.120 afternoon drinks turns into a bit of a pub crawl, 0:10:40.400 --> 0:10:43.200 and at the second pub, my single friend says to me, 0:10:43.880 --> 0:10:46.360 you know, I would date your boyfriend if you weren't 0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:50.040 dating him. Cool quick. She then says, in what world 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:52.320 is that okay to say? Should I let her know 0:10:52.360 --> 0:10:55.480 that she's upset me and made me super uncomfortable and 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:58.000 move on with her in my life like normal? Or 0:10:58.280 --> 0:11:02.400 is this friendship canceled? What do I do? No, I 0:11:02.400 --> 0:11:04.400 don't think the friendship's cancer. Yeah, Like, look, it's a 0:11:04.440 --> 0:11:07.079 weird thing to say she'd obviously had a few drinks. 0:11:07.600 --> 0:11:09.440 I don't think it means that she's going to act 0:11:09.480 --> 0:11:11.800 on anything, but like, I don't know. I mean, I 0:11:11.920 --> 0:11:14.480 don't think it's a bad thing that your friend thinks 0:11:14.480 --> 0:11:16.920 that your partner is desirable and a good catch. Like 0:11:16.920 --> 0:11:18.800 I tell it as a compliment. I would hope that 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:20.720 my friends think that my partner is a good catch 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:24.079 and like, in another world, in another time, would pursue 0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:26.000 him because he's such an eligible guy. 0:11:26.080 --> 0:11:28.199 Hey, actually that's a lie. Some of my friends did 0:11:28.200 --> 0:11:30.480 try and pursue him. I'm still friends with girls in 0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:30.959 the Bachelor. 0:11:31.559 --> 0:11:33.599 I was looking at you shocked. I was like, was 0:11:33.640 --> 0:11:35.240 this who would have done that? And why are you 0:11:35.320 --> 0:11:38.560 still friends? But no, your situation. Look, I think I 0:11:38.559 --> 0:11:40.520 can understand that there might be a little bit of 0:11:40.559 --> 0:11:44.160 you that feels threatened. Obviously, you trust your partner, He's 0:11:44.160 --> 0:11:47.920 done nothing wrong. But if in this you feel threatened 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:50.040 by your friend or you feel like you can't trust her, 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:52.600 then that is a bigger conversation to have. However, if 0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:54.760 you do actually really trust her, then I think take 0:11:54.800 --> 0:11:58.320 it as a compliment. I agree with Laura. I think 0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:00.440 that this does not have to be a big thing. 0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:02.360 If you got the feeling from her that this is 0:12:02.400 --> 0:12:05.160 more than that, then yeah, I would be questioning a 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:07.160 lot in that friendship. And obviously you have felt that 0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:09.960 to some extent, otherwise you wouldn't be writing in But 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:12.600 if it's just the fact that she was like, like, 0:12:12.679 --> 0:12:15.120 I would be dating him, girl, run with that, because 0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:17.000 that's better than imagine if I went to you, Laura 0:12:17.080 --> 0:12:20.880 and was like, I would never date someone like Matt, 0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:24.280 like he is terrible, Like you want you don't want 0:12:24.480 --> 0:12:26.960 your friends to think your partner is terrible. You want 0:12:26.960 --> 0:12:29.720 to have a relationship that people want because that means 0:12:29.720 --> 0:12:32.520 you're doing it well. Would you date Matt in another world? 0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:36.720 I mean if I didn't, If I was dead and 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:38.880 my two children needed a mother, would you step into 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:43.559 that role if I had to happen for you, I 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:45.800 mean a dead spirit to help the kids that I 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:49.599 got really morbid, really quickly. Wait, Okay, I'm going to 0:12:49.640 --> 0:12:52.800 put this on record, write an article about this one. Brittany, 0:12:53.040 --> 0:12:57.120 will you date Matti J No? I am not dating Madge. 0:12:58.040 --> 0:13:01.760 I mean you shared a bachelor than mine. No. I 0:13:01.800 --> 0:13:03.280 often think that. I was like, imagine if you and 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:04.760 I were on the same thing, on the same one, 0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:06.720 would probably not be friends. Actually, one of my really 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:08.839 good girlfriends almost ended up on my season, and I 0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:10.840 remember sitting down with I hadn't told her that I 0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:12.600 was going on, and she had been approached by the 0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:15.960 producers as well and the casting agents, and she had 0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:18.320 been asked to go on there, but she declined, and 0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:20.840 I said yes, And I didn't tell her because I 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:22.920 didn't want it to become a competition. I wanted her 0:13:22.920 --> 0:13:25.520 to make her decision regardless of what my decision was 0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:27.880 I wanted it to be completely independent of each other. 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:30.880 But she still makes a joke about it, and she's like, 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:33.680 remember that time that we almost competed over the same guy. 0:13:34.120 --> 0:13:36.280 And then weirdly, she asked me to. 0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:38.600 Start a podcast with her a week after we had 0:13:38.640 --> 0:13:40.160 agreed to do it, and she's like, why do I 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:41.640 keep missing like my life's calling? 0:13:41.679 --> 0:13:46.880 A week after bag Ass Girl that ship sailed. I 0:13:46.920 --> 0:13:48.920 have been in this position before where I have said 0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:50.680 things to my friends, like when I was in the 0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:53.040 depths of my ten years of singletom, when I was 0:13:53.040 --> 0:13:55.360 on dates with terrible, terrible people. I have said to 0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:57.640 one of my best friends before. I mean, like, I'll 0:13:57.640 --> 0:14:00.800 just call it out. Renee and Andrew. My remain's on 0:14:00.840 --> 0:14:03.600 my best friends. They have such a beautiful relationship and 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:06.880 he treats her like an absolute princess. And there were 0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:10.080 times that I would say to her like, God, you're lucky, 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:12.760 Like where do I get one of those? And I 0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:16.000 in no way would ever date him. What I mean 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:18.760 is like you snagged a good one, like you should 0:14:18.760 --> 0:14:20.680 be chuffed? Where can I go find a good one? 0:14:20.800 --> 0:14:23.040 Kind of thing? And that was never a problem with 0:14:23.080 --> 0:14:25.560 our friendship. Because I didn't mean anything by it other 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:27.520 than like I was just in a place of despair, 0:14:28.160 --> 0:14:29.760 and she knows there was nothing by it because I'm 0:14:29.760 --> 0:14:32.480 a best friend. I think that in this you should 0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:35.400 just be flattered unless you actually think something is going 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:37.760 on or she's going to make a move. Then for sure, 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:40.280 if you believe that there's something more, one hundred percent 0:14:40.360 --> 0:14:42.320 say something. Otherwise you're just going to dwell on it 0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:45.120 and it's going to implode. I think canceling the friendship 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:48.440 is Honestly, I think that is an overreaction one hundred 0:14:48.440 --> 0:14:51.280 percent if all she's really done is in a backhanded way, 0:14:51.320 --> 0:14:53.840 I guess given you a compliment. Yeah, And I also 0:14:54.040 --> 0:14:56.720 think as well, like, unpack your own insecurities around this. 0:14:56.880 --> 0:14:59.240 You know, is there something or a bigger reason as 0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:01.160 to why you feel this way? Do you feel a 0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:04.520 little bit insecure in your relationship? Are you comparing yourself 0:15:04.560 --> 0:15:06.800 to her and you're thinking, oh, like am I matching up? 0:15:06.960 --> 0:15:10.160 Which obviously one that's all your own junk to unpack. 0:15:10.240 --> 0:15:12.160 It's not a reflection of your relationship with your partner, 0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:14.320 and it's certainly not a reflection of your relationship with 0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:17.720 your friend. That could be like some insecurity that you're 0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:20.400 feeling there as well as to why you've had such 0:15:20.440 --> 0:15:23.600 a big adverse reaction to this. And I also do 0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:26.200 think a little bit maybe and not to make an 0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:29.200 allowance from drinking, but I think that sometimes things can 0:15:29.280 --> 0:15:31.720 be said in not the best way when there's been 0:15:31.720 --> 0:15:33.960 a few too many drinks. And maybe she did mean 0:15:33.960 --> 0:15:36.280 it as a compliment and she meant to be like fuck, 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:38.480 like your boyfriend is amazing. She's probably doing a real 0:15:38.520 --> 0:15:40.560 boyfriend's amazing, and I'm jealous of I don't have someone 0:15:40.560 --> 0:15:43.240 amazing in my life like this. Yeah, not physically him. 0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:46.640 Yes, So I mean, see how you feel in the 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:48.880 coming weeks when you're around your friends, See how you 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:50.680 feel the next time when the three of you together. 0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:52.920 If it gives you the he begbi's because you think 0:15:52.960 --> 0:15:56.240 that she's disingenuous and you think that there's something else there, 0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:59.560 then like totally, like maybe make some distance in that friendship. 0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:02.560 But if this is just one thing that she's said, 0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:06.640 I think canceling the friendship is a really extreme step away. 0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:12.160 Ultimately, Also, who's dating him? You are lucky lucky lady. 0:16:12.240 --> 0:16:14.760 Yeah you roll with that Alrighty, I have a question here, 0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:16.800 and I feel like everybody may have been in this 0:16:16.920 --> 0:16:20.680 situation at some point in time. Not everybody, but Laura. 0:16:20.760 --> 0:16:23.600 Not everyone is food in the shower. You need to 0:16:23.680 --> 0:16:27.480 let that one go. Okay, and not everyone's been online dating. 0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:29.000 But I think that this is going to be way 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:31.840 more common than what we might think straight away. Okay. 0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:34.160 I work in an office with a relatively big team. 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:37.800 Our office is pretty close knit despite the size, and 0:16:37.840 --> 0:16:40.000 as such, I know a lot of my colleagues's partners 0:16:40.040 --> 0:16:42.800 from various work functions. So this is where it gets 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:45.240 really tricky. There is a woman in my office who 0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:47.920 is about five years older than me. She's engaged, and 0:16:47.920 --> 0:16:50.320 I've met her fiance a few times. The last time 0:16:50.400 --> 0:16:52.480 was just a couple of months ago. So you can 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:55.560 imagine my surprise when I saw his face pop up 0:16:55.560 --> 0:16:58.120 on Hinge when I was away in Queensland for a 0:16:58.120 --> 0:17:01.520 weekend with my girlfriends. We're both from Perth, so I 0:17:01.560 --> 0:17:03.760 can only suspect that he was in Queensland on a 0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:07.359 holiday without his fiance. What do I do do I 0:17:07.400 --> 0:17:10.800 tell her like, maybe they have an open relationship, but 0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:13.040 I really don't think that they do. And I also 0:17:13.040 --> 0:17:14.880 think he must have been doing the dirty on her. 0:17:15.680 --> 0:17:20.439 Oh boy, he's doing the dirty for sure. This is 0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:22.600 a little I mean, this is a tough one because 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:25.639 you're in an awkward situation. No one wants to have 0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:29.040 that conversation. I have been in that place before. I 0:17:29.200 --> 0:17:32.720 had anxiety over it. I was in a really like 0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:34.800 I was like, fuck, I do not want to do this, 0:17:34.960 --> 0:17:38.119 No pardon wants to do this. But deep down I 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:40.919 was like, would I want to know? Yes, the answer 0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:44.679 is yes. If you didn't really know this woman, like 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:47.000 you'd met her through a social circle once, then I'm like, 0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:49.440 maybe that's not your place, but you work with her, 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:51.680 you said you know her, you know that that is 0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:54.280 her fiance. One hundred percent I think that, yeah, you 0:17:54.320 --> 0:17:56.880 probably need to have the conversation. And you are one 0:17:56.920 --> 0:18:00.560