Speaker 1: My heart podcasts.
Speaker 2: Hear more kiss podcast playlist and listen live on the
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Speaker 3: Good pickup with Brittle and Laura Ben Rady.
Speaker 4: Your work, our windows done, that's my world, Rison the
Speaker 4: dust only goodabs down. I've done much, but yeah, I
Speaker 4: know our big get and what I want.
Speaker 1: It don't matter where. This is the picker.
Speaker 2: Hi, guys, you're listening to the Pickup with Britt Hockey
Speaker 2: and Laura Ben.
Speaker 3: Okay again a week too late, but huge breaking news.
Speaker 3: I just got married two weeks ago. I'm obsessed with
Speaker 3: my dog, Delilah.
Speaker 5: The news broke this morning.
Speaker 3: That in New York you can now get married by
Speaker 3: your dog, and your dog can.
Speaker 1: Be your official witness.
Speaker 5: I wish I was kidding people, I'm not.
Speaker 2: I wish you knew too, because I think we've taken
Speaker 2: things too far. I think we've progressed too far in society.
Speaker 2: If your dog can witness your married.
Speaker 3: Look how they sign it now, Laura, with their proms
Speaker 3: and the I mean how I signed your wedding.
Speaker 5: CITYVT with the smiling face and kiss kiss.
Speaker 1: I put two kisses to be fair.
Speaker 2: If the contrast was between Britt Hockley signing your marriage
Speaker 2: certificate or your dog.
Speaker 3: Think carefully about your next sentence, Laura, Well, there's has
Speaker 3: come with the stipulation you can have your dog as
Speaker 3: your witness as long as they're accompanied by a human witness.
Speaker 1: So it's like, I think it's just a bit of fun.
Speaker 2: I mean, you can do it, but is it necessary?
Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like we don't have your dog
Speaker 2: walk yourself down the aisle, like my dog walked me
Speaker 2: down the aisle. Who's part of the wedding procession. But
Speaker 2: I don't need Bustard to sign my marriage certificate.
Speaker 1: I can't consent.
Speaker 5: I'll do it.
Speaker 1: No, No, you did do it. No, I mean I'd
Speaker 1: do it.
Speaker 3: If my dog could witness my weddings certificate, I would
Speaker 3: do that.
Speaker 2: All right, We've got a big show for you guys today. Now,
Speaker 2: something we were talking about recently, and I think it's
Speaker 2: because my whole algorithm at the moment is pregnancies, babies.
Speaker 2: It's like the social media knows I'm pregnant and it's
Speaker 2: feeding me every single article or Instagram post that has
Speaker 2: to do with pregnancy.
Speaker 1: But the way it works, it does, doesn't it.
Speaker 2: Well, Look, this is something that we've spoken about on
Speaker 2: life uncut before. But I really do think that the
Speaker 2: conversation around this is changing, and that is that there
Speaker 2: is a bit of a silence that surrounds the first
Speaker 2: twelve weeks of pregnancy now for most women, and I
Speaker 2: won't speak for everyone. I'm certainly not the oracle of pregnancy,
Speaker 2: but for a lot of women, we are told to
Speaker 2: keep your pregnancy or your good news quite private for
Speaker 2: the first twelve weeks. Now, the reasoning around that is
Speaker 2: because during that first twelve weeks is when most miscarriages happen.
Speaker 2: It's when the rate of which you can lose your
Speaker 2: baby is quite high. And for anyone who doesn't know
Speaker 2: the stats, one in four pregnancies does end in miscarriage.
Speaker 2: Usually it's early miscarriage. And I myself have had two miscarriages.
Speaker 2: I had one before my first daughter, Maley, and I
Speaker 2: had one before my second daughter, and I always found
Speaker 2: it quite a I guess, quite an interesting thing that
Speaker 2: you're told to keep it to yourself for the first
Speaker 2: twelve weeks, because the problem is is if you haven't
Speaker 2: told anyone that you're pregnant, you also don't get to
Speaker 2: share with anyone or explain to anyone why you might
Speaker 2: be feeling really.
Speaker 1: Sad if something does go wrong.
Speaker 2: And there's been quite a movement in a recent article
Speaker 2: that's come out around really starting to shift the perception
Speaker 2: around this secrecy of twelve weeks. And the question is
Speaker 2: is who does it benefit? Does it actually benefit new
Speaker 2: expectant mothers or is it something that just adds more
Speaker 2: shame around the whole feeling of like, well, my body
Speaker 2: wasn't able to carry a pregnancy to full term. If
Speaker 2: you are someone who unfortunately joins that awful club of
Speaker 2: having a miscarriage, look, it's.
Speaker 5: A hard one.
Speaker 3: I've not been pregnant and I've not had a miscarriage,
Speaker 3: so I can't speak to it like that. But I
Speaker 3: do think it's interesting because I understand where it comes from.
Speaker 5: Like I understand why it's always been like, hey.
Speaker 3: Don't tell anyone until you're quote unquote safe or in
Speaker 3: the clear. And I guess that is because for a
Speaker 3: lot of people, if you tell a mass amount of people,
Speaker 3: it does mean you have to deal with it on
Speaker 3: a mass level as well. I don't believe in keeping
Speaker 3: it a secret for the twelve weeks, but I understand
Speaker 3: why it's like, you know, maybe don't go crazy with
Speaker 3: who you tell, but you definitely need that support system.
Speaker 5: You need someone to be there with you if you're
Speaker 5: going through it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you don't have to tell everyone's it on Instagram.
Speaker 2: But I mean you can tell your people at work,
Speaker 2: you can tell your support systems. Actually, Samantha Payne, so
Speaker 2: she's the co founder and CEO of Pink Elephant, and
Speaker 2: she puts it so perfectly. She said this, the twelve
Speaker 2: week rule tells us to stay quiet just in case.
Speaker 2: But if the worst does happen, then you're suddenly grieving
Speaker 2: in silence. You haven't told anyone, so there's no support.
Speaker 2: And I do think that this is very relevant for women,
Speaker 2: especially in a workplace environment. Like if you are suddenly
Speaker 2: grieving and going through, you know, struggling with a miscarriage,
Speaker 2: You've never spoken about the fact that you are or
Speaker 2: might be pregnant or any.
Speaker 1: Of these sorts of things.
Speaker 2: But the first conversation you're having to have in a
Speaker 2: workplace environment could potentially be, oh, I'm actually having a miscarriage.
Speaker 2: I just think it adds to the stigma around it.
Speaker 2: I definitely think it adds to the shame. And I
Speaker 2: do think that as a society, we're moving beyond that
Speaker 2: a little bit, but I think that it should be
Speaker 2: a case where if people want to talk about early pregnancy,
Speaker 2: we shouldn't have this like, oh, you don't speak about it,
Speaker 2: you might have a you know, it might not end well,
Speaker 2: and it should be like, Okay, well that's great knowing
Speaker 2: that it is a possibility, but still holding so much
Speaker 2: space for like the excitement and the joy. And I
Speaker 2: say this because I remember when my sister told me
Speaker 2: she was pregnant, and she told me really early. I
Speaker 2: think she was only like maybe four or five weeks.
Speaker 2: I just found out like literally, you know Pete on
Speaker 2: the stick double lines, couse, you're so excited. And she
Speaker 2: called me, and my first reaction was a bit like, oh,
Speaker 2: you're not meant to tell me. I was quite young,
Speaker 2: and I don't think I had realized. I think I
Speaker 2: was so conditioned by this twelve week rule thing that
Speaker 2: I was like worried for her if she had to
Speaker 2: tell me that something went wrong, because.
Speaker 5: It almost is a rule without it being a rule.
Speaker 1: That's how we grow up.
Speaker 3: You can grow up knowing that when you hit the
Speaker 3: twelve week mark, you're happy to talk about it. Even
Speaker 3: when I'm trying to think about right now, I'm like,
Speaker 3: why do we have that rule? What are the repercussions
Speaker 3: of it? And it is shame, that's the default, right.
Speaker 3: It shamed you from saying, Hey, my body wasn't able
Speaker 3: to hold on to that, or maybe there's something wrong
Speaker 3: with me, and that's absolutely not the case.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think for me, I didn't realize how
Speaker 2: common it was because it's so rarely spoken about, especially publicly,
Speaker 2: and so when it did happen to me, I thought
Speaker 2: that there was something wrong with me.
Speaker 1: That's only place.
Speaker 2: That's the first place your brain goes to, especially when
Speaker 2: it's happened twice, You're like, Okay, there's something wrong with
Speaker 2: my body and how it works. And it wasn't until
Speaker 2: doing more research and having more conversations with family and
Speaker 2: friends that I was like, oh, my good people who
Speaker 2: I'd never even suspected, family members I never even suspected
Speaker 2: who had gone through miscarriage all kind of stepped forward
Speaker 2: to was like, oh me too, like me too, Like
Speaker 2: this happened to me. And I think it's only when
Speaker 2: you are someone who's been through it do you realize
Speaker 2: the volume of women who also experienced the same thing,
Speaker 2: which is why I think if you're pregnant, were firstly congratulations,
Speaker 2: But if you are pregnant in that early twelve weeks
Speaker 2: and you want to tell the people who you love
Speaker 2: and who are in your surrounding networks, like, I don't
Speaker 2: think that that's something that you should feel as though
Speaker 2: you have to keep to yourself, because the more we
Speaker 2: talk about it, the more we normalize it, and it
Speaker 2: just means that something does go wrong.
Speaker 1: It makes talking about that okay as well.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, Now, Laura, I want you to dig deep into
Speaker 3: your past. Have you ever been broken up with in
Speaker 3: like a really messed up, unhinged way, or did you break.
Speaker 2: Up with someone who No, because I dated a lot
Speaker 2: of men who cheated on me and stuff, and I
Speaker 2: just state so.
Speaker 1: Like they probably tried to broke up. They're like it's over.
Speaker 5: You're like, that's not.
Speaker 1: Crist I prove it. I'm still here.
Speaker 5: Why am I in your bed there?
Speaker 3: Why a me in?
Speaker 1: You'll cover it. I don't think I've been broken up
Speaker 1: within my house.
Speaker 2: I haven't been broken up with it in an unhinged way.
Speaker 2: I've just stayed in unhinged relationships for a really long time.
Speaker 5: All right, Mine technicality a little bit different.
Speaker 3: So Eric Dane, and before you ask you, that is
Speaker 3: because I know you won't know.
Speaker 5: Laura, but that's mixed steamy Gray's anatomy.
Speaker 1: Explain it to me, really hot, doctor.
Speaker 3: And for like our younger listeners that have no idea
Speaker 3: what Gray's Anatomy or mc steamy is, he's the dad
Speaker 3: out of Euphoria, so everyone knows Euphoria.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do actually know who this guy is, so like,
Speaker 2: I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: Okay, thank you.
Speaker 3: So he there's this story going around at the at
Speaker 3: the moment, and I want to say allegedly, So Eric
Speaker 3: Dane has been dating, allegedly his girlfriend Priya Jane. So
Speaker 3: Dane and Jane, that's how we're gonna call him. They
Speaker 3: were properly together, right, She was a huge part of
Speaker 3: his family. They spent the weekend together and then Eric
Speaker 3: Dane had to go to one of his own premiers.
Speaker 5: So she didn't go. He's gone to the premiere.
Speaker 3: She's watching where she sees him photographed on the red
Speaker 3: carpet with a new woman, Janelle Shirtcliffe. So she's just
Speaker 3: like at home, sees her partner in photos and on
Speaker 3: the red carpet debuting a new relationship. Okay, I'm sorry,
Speaker 3: but if your partner is going to the premiere of
Speaker 3: their own show and you weren't invited, surely that's a
Speaker 3: red flag that they're not with you anymore.
Speaker 5: I mean I have questions.
Speaker 1: I do have questions. But maybe he said no.
Speaker 5: Maybe he said, like, you.
Speaker 6: Know, partners, like it's a Christmas party, like they couldn't
Speaker 6: pay for pote.
Speaker 2: I think this screams of he's tried to break up
Speaker 2: with her and she didn't take the clue, because like
Speaker 2: maybe he didn't do it as direct enough. But if
Speaker 2: it's weird that she's watching on his premiere and she
Speaker 2: had no clue and he just roped up.
Speaker 3: I mean they have matching tattoos, which means it's pretty serious.
Speaker 2: But they imagine if she just got the tattoo to
Speaker 2: match his, he already had it, and she's like, He's.
Speaker 1: Like, this is hot together we.
Speaker 2: Are Look I think if this is true, I mean,
Speaker 2: this man is fifty two years old.
Speaker 1: To me, that just screams spineless. Like if you can't
Speaker 1: break up.
Speaker 2: With someone and the way that you do it is
Speaker 2: by just like appearing with your new girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Hope they get the hint. That seems like a really.
Speaker 2: Really spineless way to manage a break up totally.
Speaker 3: She did say that he never actually broke up with her,
Speaker 3: but give us a call. It got me thinking, there
Speaker 3: must be some unhinged ways you've been broken up with.
Speaker 3: I remember I was seeing this guy, same kind of thing.
Speaker 3: I think, like where you were basically together without it
Speaker 3: officially being together. I don't know that was my situation.
Speaker 3: We were properly together, we weren't seeing other people. It's
Speaker 3: like we've met each other's found How long had you.
Speaker 1: Been dating for on and off for three years? Okay,
Speaker 1: it's a long time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it was never like one hundred percent exclusive,
Speaker 3: do you know what I mean. It's like the assumption
Speaker 3: was there we did everything together, but it wasn't anyway.
Speaker 3: It was at his thirtieth birthday and I had helped
Speaker 3: him with like planning of stuff. I was there taking
Speaker 3: photos of the night. His family there as a family
Speaker 3: friend event, and I'll never forget it. I was literally
Speaker 3: had the camera, his family's camera, and I was taking
Speaker 3: photos of everyone across the dance floor.
Speaker 1: And you thought you were his girlfriend at the time.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So at his birthday. Yep, and then across the
Speaker 5: dance floor.
Speaker 3: I looked over and he looked at me directly in
Speaker 3: the eye, locked eyes, and then made out with a
Speaker 3: girl in front of me.
Speaker 5: She did not she did swear on my life.
Speaker 1: I'm speechless. I am literally speechless. How old was man?
Speaker 5: Was his thirtieth if you listen.
Speaker 1: Finally, sorry, I just blamed because I honestly I can't
Speaker 1: believe it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then I was like never, it was a
Speaker 3: big thing. I said, never call me again, don't contact me,
Speaker 3: and I unfollowed him on Instagram.
Speaker 5: It was a whole thing.
Speaker 1: I moved over.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I moved overseas, brought a one way ticket, and
Speaker 3: then it went on for years.
Speaker 5: He followed me around. He was like, I made a mistake.
Speaker 1: I love you. Oh that's New York guy.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh nah, you didn't tell me that part of that story.
Speaker 1: That is absolutely shocked her. I was like, guess this
Speaker 1: means we're not together.
Speaker 3: He was like macking on with someone else at his birthday.
Speaker 2: I think, like definitely, people have like found out from
Speaker 2: their friends, Like I have a girlfriend who found out
Speaker 2: that her partner was broke had broken up with her
Speaker 2: because he'd already told his mate that he was breaking
Speaker 2: up with her or had broken up, but it just
Speaker 2: hadn't filtered to her yet. So his mate was like, Oh,
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry about you and shame and it wasn't
Speaker 2: his name's not Damien. He was like, I'm so sorry
Speaker 2: about you, and Damien like, you know, I hope you're okay,
Speaker 2: and she was like, what are you talking about. That's
Speaker 2: how she found out through the friend anyway, shocking.
Speaker 3: Laura and I have been talking about unhinged ways you've
Speaker 3: been dumped, or like the weird and wonderful way you
Speaker 3: found out you were no longer in that relationship, beating war.
Speaker 1: Do you I have?
Speaker 2: The common theme to this is, though, is that it's
Speaker 2: when someone got just a chicken no, when someone's like
Speaker 2: too scared to actually say it to your face that
Speaker 2: they don't want to be with you anymore, so they
Speaker 2: just kind of do it in a roundabout way and
Speaker 2: you find out through a friend or you find out
Speaker 2: on Facebook.
Speaker 1: Now I think we're giving them too much credit. I
Speaker 1: don't even think they're scared.
Speaker 5: I just think they're jerk offs. But it was off
Speaker 5: the back of the actor Eric Dane if you.
Speaker 1: Don't know who he is.
Speaker 3: He is mixed steamy, everyone knows mixedee me, or he's
Speaker 3: a dad from euphoria the younger generation or no euphoria.
Speaker 3: But basically, he was in a seemingly in a relationship
Speaker 3: with this woman for a couple of years. She'd met
Speaker 3: the kids, they'd got like matching tattoos, they'd spent the
Speaker 3: weekend together, and then Eric went to his own like
Speaker 3: red carpet premiere.
Speaker 5: Now I don't know why his partner didn't go.
Speaker 3: But she's sitting at home, she's watching it go down,
Speaker 3: and she sees photos of Eric on the red carpet
Speaker 3: debuting another woman, and that is how she allegedly says
Speaker 3: she found out that she was dumped.
Speaker 1: It feels fishy.
Speaker 2: I'd still think it feels fishy, but we do have
Speaker 2: I mean producer grace. Yeah, she has a very own
Speaker 2: tailor as to how she got hectically dumped.
Speaker 6: Speaking of fishy, I was dating this guy when I
Speaker 6: was a teenager, like eighteen nineteen, so.
Speaker 1: Adult, so serious. Yeah, it was ver serious.
Speaker 6: We're dating for like four months. I'd met his parents
Speaker 6: bet mine.
Speaker 3: Nineteen and four months deep and meeting the parents that
Speaker 3: is serious, thank you.
Speaker 6: It is serious. Anyway, we decided to go on a
Speaker 6: date to the aquarium.
Speaker 1: That's not so serious.
Speaker 6: He just didn't turn up and I never heard from
Speaker 6: him again. Wait, you've never spoken to the guy like
Speaker 6: he messaged me drunk once like four years later for what,
Speaker 6: just being like, hey heard you got into.
Speaker 1: Radio, say sorry about the aquarium. He never mentioned that.
Speaker 3: But it's one thing to go someone, right, you haven't
Speaker 3: turned up for a date, but you can't just never
Speaker 3: see them again.
Speaker 6: No, literally, I was replying being like, hey, are you alive?
Speaker 1: Did I do something?
Speaker 6: What's going on?
Speaker 1: And he just never But if you.
Speaker 2: Were dating for four months and you met his family,
Speaker 2: why didn't you go to his house? Or you just
Speaker 2: like kind of a scaredy cat. So you just you
Speaker 2: just message his dad.
Speaker 1: You're just too good. You just get better and better.
Speaker 3: Hey, we've got Courtney on the lines. So Courtney, well
Speaker 3: we'll circle back to your grace. There's a lot to
Speaker 3: unpacking your story, Courtney. What was the unhinged way you
Speaker 3: got dumped? I received a Facebook invite Who's going away
Speaker 3: party announcing that he was moving into state. Oh my goodness,
Speaker 3: and you obviously weren't moving with him?
Speaker 1: Did you go to the party?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Why was my revenge?
Speaker 7: Though?
Speaker 5: I stole showed him, Courtney, he couldn't see in the dark.
Speaker 2: This is the gift that keeps on giving. I mean
Speaker 2: like there's other ways you could enact revenge. I feel
Speaker 2: like that is the that is the most g rated
Speaker 2: version of it. But I'm you sure showed him, thanks Courtney. Hey, Emily,
Speaker 2: what was the unhinged you got dumped?
Speaker 7: My sister sent it to me on Instagram, but he'd
Speaker 7: already blocked me, and so she sent me the screenshot
Speaker 7: of him getting engaged?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 7: Yep?
Speaker 1: And you what how long are you together for?
Speaker 7: We were together on and off for five years? Yeah,
Speaker 7: so quite on and off, so you know, just like
Speaker 7: two and a half years together. Then I had six
Speaker 7: months off and then came back together. And yes, I
Speaker 7: couldn't see the engagement and helpment. He blocked me. So
Speaker 7: my sister screenshot it and sent it to me.
Speaker 1: Wait, so you okay, you were still dating? What did
Speaker 1: you do? Did you contact the other girl?
Speaker 2: Because clearly he was living a separate life at the
Speaker 2: same time.
Speaker 7: I have sent her a message, So I've got to
Speaker 7: give credit where credits due. He planned it all out
Speaker 7: very well, so like we were texting and stuff, and
Speaker 7: then yeah, the day of the announcement, he blotched my
Speaker 7: phone number, blocks me on everything, and yeah, I think
Speaker 7: just hoping to never run into it again. We never have.
Speaker 7: I sent her a message and she never responded. I've
Speaker 7: seen that she's saying it and I know they're married.
Speaker 1: Now, Wow, that is Oh god. I feel sorry for her.
Speaker 1: That's a real shame that was.
Speaker 3: To end on because she could have you don't know,
Speaker 3: she could have known, or she does know now Emily
Speaker 3: told her and she.
Speaker 2: I still feel like that's one of those situations. If
Speaker 2: that guy's that good at lying, he's probably led his
Speaker 2: way out of that situation as well. You know you're
Speaker 2: gonna you're gonna believe you put over some random chicky
Speaker 2: messages you on Instagram.
Speaker 3: That's not true. I was that exact person. I was
Speaker 3: marrying someone who's marrying someone else. Simultaneously, I reached out
Speaker 3: to her. We both dumped his ass.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we don't have trying to get into it.
Speaker 5: So like now that Baro buttle, Oh well, I'm praying
Speaker 5: for some good love to come your way. Emily.
Speaker 7: Oh thank you. I mean, I mean, I love myself.
Speaker 7: It's really like that FORUL.
Speaker 2: That's all that matters, all right, guys, Well, that is
Speaker 2: it from us today.