WEBVTT - MINI! How long is too long not to be proposed to?

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<v Speaker 1>All right, everybody, I have an idea for you. That's

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<v Speaker 1>not my idea, I've stolen it, but I think it

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<v Speaker 1>might help you if you were in a long term

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<v Speaker 1>relationship and you've been waiting for your partner to propose. Ye,

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<v Speaker 1>but they're dragging their feet.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm listening.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, Britt, what do you do? You know, if you've

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<v Speaker 1>got a boyfriend and they won't propose to you, like,

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<v Speaker 1>how do you try and speed that process.

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<v Speaker 3>Of subtly not so subtly, like leaving the hints around

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<v Speaker 3>like pictures of rings with big circles around them and highlighted.

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<v Speaker 2>This wonder woman.

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<v Speaker 1>Now she's been in a relationship for seven years, which

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<v Speaker 1>I think is a really long time. If one of

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<v Speaker 1>you wants to get married now, her boyfriend says, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>in the future, but we can't do it. Yeah, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>we don't have the money. We don't have this anyway.

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<v Speaker 1>They're twenty nine years old.

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<v Speaker 2>Now.

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<v Speaker 1>Originally the excuses were that it was because they were

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<v Speaker 1>still studying and they had other big things that they

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<v Speaker 1>were working towards. Now he says it's because they just

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<v Speaker 1>don't have quite enough money. But he recently went out

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<v Speaker 1>and bought himself a motorbike, a very expensive motorbike, which

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<v Speaker 1>made her realize maybe getting married is just not a prayer.

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<v Speaker 1>Things cost money, yes they do, Yeah, but you don't

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<v Speaker 1>have to have a big wedding. It's not necessarily about

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<v Speaker 1>the wedding, right like every seven years. It's about the commitment,

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<v Speaker 1>it's about the ring. So what she did is she

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<v Speaker 1>went and she spoke to her sister, and now her

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<v Speaker 1>sister has been married. After two years of dating, they

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<v Speaker 1>got engaged, they've gotten married. She's off living her life

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<v Speaker 1>and doing what she wants to do. Jealous, and her

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<v Speaker 1>sister said, here is something that I did in my

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<v Speaker 1>relationship and at work to treat you are going to

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<v Speaker 1>withdraw all of your wife privileges. And what that means

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<v Speaker 1>is instead of living together, instead of cooking and cleaning

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<v Speaker 1>and picking up his clothes and making his life easier,

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<v Speaker 1>all the things that you would do if you are

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<v Speaker 1>together in a relationship, a committed, long term relationship. She

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<v Speaker 1>was like, you have to remove the wife privileges go

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<v Speaker 1>back to dating. So she's decided she's no longer going

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<v Speaker 1>to sign the new lease with her partner unless he

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<v Speaker 1>is going to propose to her. She's going to move

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<v Speaker 1>out and she's going to go back to dating and

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<v Speaker 1>see what happens.

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<v Speaker 4>Wait, Laura, you're the only one in this room that's married.

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<v Speaker 4>You're the only wife in the studio. Do you know, like,

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<v Speaker 4>do you have wife privileges?

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<v Speaker 2>Is that a thing? What's some other wife privileges that

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<v Speaker 2>we don't know about?

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<v Speaker 1>Having a headache and going to sleep earlier? Okay, having

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<v Speaker 1>seven minute missionary?

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<v Speaker 3>No, okay, wife, I don't think that's it, because I

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<v Speaker 3>think is what she's doing for him, not exactly. So

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<v Speaker 3>wife privileges is more so just like when you're in

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<v Speaker 3>a long term and committed relationship, it's all the things

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<v Speaker 3>that you do to make your partner's life easier, the

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<v Speaker 3>things that you would do if you were dating as well.

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<v Speaker 3>But when you're dating, you get to go home to

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<v Speaker 3>your own space and live in you you know, you

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<v Speaker 3>can go back to your own apartment.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't have to be in their space all the time.

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<v Speaker 1>You also don't have to deal with all the things

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<v Speaker 1>that are the undesirable parts of a relationship, like after

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<v Speaker 1>each other. Yea. And so she's just said, well, you're

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<v Speaker 1>quite happy to live our life like we're married, right,

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<v Speaker 1>now you're quite happy to do everything that a married

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<v Speaker 1>couple would do, but you don't have any of the

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<v Speaker 1>responsibilities of being married.

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<v Speaker 4>I think seven years is too long. Rit what do

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<v Speaker 4>you stand on it? You need to have had the

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<v Speaker 4>discussion or be ready to propose by It's.

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<v Speaker 3>A pretty blanket statement to be like, seven years is

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<v Speaker 3>too long. Who knows what's gone on in their life

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<v Speaker 3>in seven years or other reasons behind it. But she

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<v Speaker 3>does have to make a decision if, like, is marriage

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<v Speaker 3>important enough to her that if she's not going to

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<v Speaker 3>get it, she'll leave the relationship entirely. Otherwise it's an empty.

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<v Speaker 4>Three Now, yeah, I agree, thirteen one of six five

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<v Speaker 4>is seven years too long to wait to propose.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you what, Laura, where do you stand on this?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I think if it's what you want in

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<v Speaker 1>your life, like for some people, marriage is important. For

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<v Speaker 1>some people it's not. But if it's important to you

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<v Speaker 1>and your partner knows it's important to you, then seven

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<v Speaker 1>years of waiting for that is a really long time,

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<v Speaker 1>especially if the excuses are we don't have enough money.

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<v Speaker 1>I have enough money from motorbike.

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<v Speaker 2>The phone lines look at them like a Christmas tree.

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<v Speaker 4>Lot people are opinionated, Amanda, what do you think seven years?

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<v Speaker 2>Is it too long?

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<v Speaker 1>On?

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<v Speaker 2>No, it's fine. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>I think like a lot depends on the couple and

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<v Speaker 3>there's a lot of factors weighing into it.

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<v Speaker 4>But I mean they talk.

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<v Speaker 3>About a seven year itch when you're married, but I

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<v Speaker 3>think this is a seven year itch to get married.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I agree. All right, Sarah are you there?

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<v Speaker 3>What do you think is seven years too long?

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<v Speaker 4>I answer, don't think it is.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, you're with someone that you love and it's

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<v Speaker 3>still working.

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<v Speaker 2>I guess No, let's go to Casey.

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<v Speaker 3>Casey, is seven years too long? I would probably say yes,

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<v Speaker 3>my opinion, but I mean everyone has their own opinion,

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<v Speaker 3>but I would say yes, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean fair, I'm only a year into my relationship

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm like.

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<v Speaker 4>Taking away the white privileges last one eleanor quickly? Seven

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<v Speaker 4>seven years too long? Not long enough for proposal.

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<v Speaker 3>Way too long.

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<v Speaker 2>I'd be out of there. Wow, that was animals. Well,

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<v Speaker 2>we've got we've done the pole.

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<v Speaker 4>Eighty two percent of calls we've been taking them in

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<v Speaker 4>the background, eighty two percent say seven years is too long.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to know, though, like, would you withdraw the privileges,

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<v Speaker 1>would you? Okay, if you get to a point where

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<v Speaker 1>you're like, marry me or propose to me, or if

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<v Speaker 1>you're not going to, then something needs to change.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think it out.

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<v Speaker 1>No.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't think an ultimatum is actually that healthy in

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<v Speaker 3>a relationship.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely not. I would not withdraw privileges. Isn't it so

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<v Speaker 2>you just broke up with them? No, I wouldn't. And

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<v Speaker 2>what'd you do? Just keep believing I'd be very sad

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<v Speaker 2>all the time.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, everyone's a winner, Yeah,