1 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:06,400 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to this kind of like added series 2 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:08,920 Speaker 1: through the Fearlessly Failing podcast. 3 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:11,280 Speaker 2: I can't take credit for this. 4 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: This is actually Bosso's idea to come up with a 5 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:17,639 Speaker 1: six part meditation series, or technically a five part but 6 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:22,279 Speaker 1: we've turned this introduction into part of the series. So 7 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 1: it's called Mindfulness Fridays, and I'm so pumped to be 8 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:28,400 Speaker 1: doing it with my dear friend Jad Patrick. 9 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 3: Hello, Jad, Hi, Lola, thanks for having me on the show. 10 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:34,400 Speaker 1: So, just for people that don't know about you and I, 11 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 1: we've lived on the same street for how many years? 12 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:39,960 Speaker 2: Not now, but was kids. 13 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,920 Speaker 3: Back in the day. Well I was I think sixteen 14 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 3: when we moved from Albert Park. 15 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:50,320 Speaker 1: And Jad's older than me. We tease each other about this, 16 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:55,400 Speaker 1: so I think for all of my primary school years. 17 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, so at least six years or something, we would 18 00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 3: have lived down there, rode from probably friends with my 19 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 3: sister for a couple of times. 20 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:03,640 Speaker 2: Really yeah, yeah, yeah. 21 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:06,000 Speaker 1: So just if you want to listen to anything to 22 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:08,319 Speaker 1: do with Jad, because Jad is an incredible human. He 23 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:11,479 Speaker 1: is a naturopath, he is a nutritionist, he is a counselor. 24 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:14,840 Speaker 1: You're very passionate about mindful self compassion meditation Is that correct? 25 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:15,240 Speaker 3: Correct? 26 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 2: It is a mouthful my friend. 27 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:18,959 Speaker 3: Isn't it? Well, it's MSc for sure, but then no 28 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:21,399 Speaker 3: one knows what that means. See, I have to do that. 29 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 2: Well, you heard it here first. If you want to 30 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:26,880 Speaker 2: know more about jad, he is in series one. 31 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: Episode six and Series three episode five, which just came 32 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,320 Speaker 1: out technically today but this episode will come out next Friday. 33 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:40,440 Speaker 1: Where you did a live, mindful kind of like exercise, yeah. 34 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:44,080 Speaker 3: And exercise instead of understanding how we respond to other 35 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:47,440 Speaker 3: people suffering versus how we respond to our own suffering, 36 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 3: and it sort of kind of tricks you into realizing 37 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,840 Speaker 3: often there's quite a big disparity between how we treat 38 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:57,680 Speaker 3: ourselves versus how we treat others who are a difficulty. 39 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,280 Speaker 1: Totally, totally and yeah, and we've kind of like I've 40 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: got notes about this to ask you in other episodes 41 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,160 Speaker 1: about like that inner self critic. 42 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:06,800 Speaker 2: And stuff like that. 43 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 1: So this introduction is for people that are like, uh, meditation, 44 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,800 Speaker 1: I've heard about it. I've tried an app every now 45 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:16,480 Speaker 1: and then. It hasn't really worked for me. Is it 46 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:17,960 Speaker 1: om shanty shanty? 47 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:19,840 Speaker 2: Like? What is it? Is it? 48 00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:20,120 Speaker 3: You know? 49 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 2: Peace? 50 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:24,120 Speaker 1: Love among means is it about having you know, I 51 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,160 Speaker 1: remember I met someone and he was like, I'm so 52 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,640 Speaker 1: good at meditating. I just shut my eyes and see black. 53 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 1: And I'm like, hmmm, really mate. And what I'm getting 54 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 1: at is that there are some many messages out there. 55 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 3: It can't really be good or bad at meditating is 56 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,959 Speaker 3: another way of cool perhaps pointing it out if you 57 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,320 Speaker 3: if you've committed to doing it and you notice what 58 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:47,440 Speaker 3: you're doing, you're already I guess doing it sort of correctly. 59 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 1: It's it's yeah, and one thing that I'm excited to 60 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 1: explore with you, and I think we will through this series. 61 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 2: Like there's no like I'm trained in TM. 62 00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 3: Is it trends Transcendental meditation correct. 63 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,520 Speaker 1: And I don't practice it, but every now and then 64 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 1: after yoga, I'll go back to the mantra they've set 65 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 1: for me. 66 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:07,359 Speaker 2: And so I think it's about. 67 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:12,240 Speaker 1: Freeing up the rigidness of like you must meditate this 68 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 1: many minutes a day and it just becomes it almost 69 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 1: puts stress into something that's meant to de stress you. 70 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:19,519 Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely. 71 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:23,639 Speaker 1: We caught up earlier this week and I was like, oh, 72 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 1: for the intro, I kind of want to debunk a 73 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:29,519 Speaker 1: bit of stuff about meditation, and you said straight away, 74 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,959 Speaker 1: you were like, well, people think it's all about having 75 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:36,160 Speaker 1: a clear mind, when really it's not about having a 76 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 1: clear mind. It's about becoming an observer. Can you talk 77 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 1: about that. 78 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's sort of one way of kind of phrasing 79 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 3: it or looking at it. I think, you know, one 80 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 3: of the number one myths I encounter when people talk 81 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,400 Speaker 3: to me about meditation is I can't meditate. I just 82 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,400 Speaker 3: have so many thoughts running around my head and I 83 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 3: just can't clear my head, and it's just not for me. 84 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 3: And I'm like, well, guess what. Everybody has a wandering mind. 85 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:03,000 Speaker 3: Everybody has thoughts that into their head continuously. Even the 86 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 3: most advanced meditators will tell you. All the most experienced 87 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:10,880 Speaker 3: meditators rather will tell you that thoughts will pop into 88 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 3: their head quite frequently. You know, even people who have 89 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:15,200 Speaker 3: gone and lived in a cave for a year in 90 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,880 Speaker 3: the Himalayas will tell you, Yep, your mind will constantly 91 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 3: be throwing up language, images, your body will come across, sensations, emotions, 92 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:28,600 Speaker 3: All of those things come up during meditation, and the 93 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:30,920 Speaker 3: I guess the goal for one of a better word 94 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 3: with meditation is not so much to get rid of 95 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:34,920 Speaker 3: those things. We can't get rid of those things. They're 96 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,800 Speaker 3: beyond our control. They're coming up from the backs of 97 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:41,880 Speaker 3: our minds. The goal is to notice that they arise, 98 00:04:42,839 --> 00:04:45,120 Speaker 3: to not get hooked by them, to not get sort 99 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,040 Speaker 3: of carried away with that storyline that the mind presents 100 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,919 Speaker 3: you with, to notice it as a phenomena of the mind, 101 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 3: that you are not your thoughts. You're more than just 102 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:57,680 Speaker 3: your thoughts. You're also aware of your thoughts. And to 103 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 3: refocus your mind on whatever the chosen object of your 104 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 3: meditation is. So I'll explain that. So generally speaking, in 105 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:09,560 Speaker 3: a focused meditation, you'll be picking something to focus your 106 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 3: awareness on. So it might be the physical sensation of breathing, 107 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,159 Speaker 3: the breath coming in and out of the body. It 108 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 3: might be a mantra or a repeated phrase like a 109 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,440 Speaker 3: loving kindness phrase, or a word that means something to you. 110 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,720 Speaker 1: I did an awareness one just last week, and we 111 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: did it where we focused on the different senses of 112 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:27,600 Speaker 1: the body. 113 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 3: That's another one, yeah, which I loved. 114 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 1: Because you know, you know a lot about me, and 115 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 1: that is I have the wandering mind, but also a 116 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 1: bit of an OCD kind of mind. And so I 117 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,800 Speaker 1: found that when I was able to focus on the sound, 118 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,000 Speaker 1: like even now, I was just like, oh, we can 119 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,560 Speaker 1: hear an aeroplane going over the over the top of this. 120 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,839 Speaker 1: And when I was doing it, I was like, I 121 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 1: can hear a tram, I can hear other people around me, 122 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:50,400 Speaker 1: I can hear other people in the next room. And 123 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:52,919 Speaker 1: I could hear a fan that was further away and 124 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,280 Speaker 1: then one that was closer, and that really worked for me. 125 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:58,839 Speaker 1: It felt like this quite active kind of awareness style 126 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:02,160 Speaker 1: of a meditation. Is that kind of is that a meditation? 127 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:05,480 Speaker 3: That can be a meditation? So it's the deliberate focusing 128 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,599 Speaker 3: of attention that makes it sort of and but with 129 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:11,200 Speaker 3: an openness to the rest of your experience that's happening 130 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 3: in that time. You're not resisting what other things come up, 131 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,360 Speaker 3: so you're not trying to push those sorts away that 132 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,960 Speaker 3: might pop up as you hear a sound go by. 133 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,680 Speaker 3: You're trying to sort of as objectively as possible, just 134 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 3: notice that sound as it is and not try to 135 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,159 Speaker 3: interpret it, label it and then go into a story 136 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:30,520 Speaker 3: about what that's about. So that sort of example of 137 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 3: focus meditation, it could be a body scan. Like you said, 138 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,919 Speaker 3: it might be particularly good for people with maybe have 139 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:39,120 Speaker 3: a background with some trauma in their life. Often focusing 140 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:43,679 Speaker 3: on inner sensations can be quite triggering for them because 141 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:46,359 Speaker 3: they've learned from their life experience. I need to be 142 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,719 Speaker 3: aware of what's going on around me or I could 143 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,920 Speaker 3: be under threat. So when they turn to inner sensations, 144 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 3: the mind's like, hang in a second, I need to 145 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 3: be on alert for danger. And so do either start 146 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:59,880 Speaker 3: interpreting inner sensations like a heartbeat as being a problem. 147 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,119 Speaker 3: My heart's beating too fast? Am I having a heart attack? 148 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 3: Or is it a panic attack? Or what is it now? 149 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 3: And mine starts telling stories straight away about the sensation. 150 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:11,560 Speaker 3: So for some people, focusing on external sensations can initially 151 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 3: be a good thing to focus on. The key is 152 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 3: bringing your mind back to that point of focus. So 153 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:22,000 Speaker 3: staying with sounds, you just stay with sounds. As physical 154 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,560 Speaker 3: sensations come up, Oh I noticed that, I'm ITCHI I'll 155 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 3: return my awareness back to sounds. 156 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 1: So fascinating, you know how you're saying, the mind is 157 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:32,520 Speaker 1: always going to throw up something like oh what am 158 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:33,320 Speaker 1: I going to have a breakfast? 159 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:34,320 Speaker 2: Have I having a second. 160 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 1: Coffee, yet did it like all these like random I 161 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,840 Speaker 1: don't know how many thoughts we haven't a day. I 162 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 1: imagine it's thousands upon thousands. Yeah, And is that those thoughts? 163 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 1: Are they from the conscious mind or are they subconscious stuff? 164 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 3: Well conscious of them? So I guess that'd be from 165 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 3: the conscious mind. And we talk about unconscious mind and 166 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,720 Speaker 3: conscious mind. They're kind of theoretical kind of constructs as 167 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 3: opposed to something that we can completely discuss. But I 168 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,880 Speaker 3: guess in talking about the concept of meditation, we then 169 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 3: need to talk about mindfulness and the difference between mindfulness meditation, 170 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 3: but more specifically, what is mindfulness. I think it's helpful 171 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:14,440 Speaker 3: to talk about what it isn't so mindlessness would be 172 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:18,640 Speaker 3: the opposite of mindfulness. And I often in the talks 173 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:20,440 Speaker 3: I give, I sort of talk to people about how 174 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:22,800 Speaker 3: many times have you driven somewhere and arrived at your 175 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:27,000 Speaker 3: dense destination and just realize, Oh, I didn't notice a 176 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 3: single thing the whole way here. My mind was wandering 177 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 3: off thinking about chores I need to do, or things 178 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:35,080 Speaker 3: I need to attend or whatever, And you've missed the 179 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 3: passing of all these houses and traffic, et cetera. And 180 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:41,200 Speaker 3: that's an example of the wandering mind. And our mind 181 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 3: sort of operates a lot of the time on autopilot. 182 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 3: So why does our mind do this so and how 183 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:50,559 Speaker 3: often does it? 184 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 2: Sort of is so probably more than we realize. 185 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,959 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's quite it's quite a lot. So when fMRI 186 00:08:56,720 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 3: studies were availables, FMR functional magnetic and it's imaging, so 187 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:03,960 Speaker 3: scans of the brain as the brain's being active, rather 188 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:07,840 Speaker 3: than you know, cutting bits open and looking at it. 189 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:11,760 Speaker 3: And researchers wanted to look at what happened when the 190 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,600 Speaker 3: mind was completely at rest, so doing nothing. So they 191 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,320 Speaker 3: got people to lay in an fMRI bed and told 192 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:20,080 Speaker 3: them just think about nothing, just think about nothing. And 193 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:22,720 Speaker 3: of course what happens when you're told to think about nothing, Boom, 194 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,880 Speaker 3: the mind becomes incredibly active. 195 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,440 Speaker 2: The pink elephant in the room exactly exactly. 196 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,920 Speaker 3: And we'll come back to pink elephants and polar beds. 197 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,640 Speaker 3: So the part of the brain that kicks into gear 198 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,839 Speaker 3: and our minds thatt have got nothing to do is 199 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 3: called the default mode network, and the default mode network 200 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:43,040 Speaker 3: it's evolved to look for problems and threats, so scan 201 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 3: the environment for difficulties and problems explore solutions. So it's 202 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,680 Speaker 3: a creative part of the mind too, and it also 203 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,440 Speaker 3: creates our sense of self because it reflects on the 204 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,640 Speaker 3: past and it predicts the future. So it looks at 205 00:09:56,679 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 3: past experience and future probabilities and how they're kind of 206 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:03,880 Speaker 3: link together, but with a specific aim of looking for problems. 207 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 3: But because our mind's main sort of priority of survival 208 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:12,600 Speaker 3: and not happiness, yeah, the default mode network tends to 209 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 3: focus exclusively almost on problems, concerns, and negative stuff, negative 210 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 3: stuff in inverted comments, both real and imagined, and this 211 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:27,440 Speaker 3: can lead to excessive worrying, rumination, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, obsessive thoughts, 212 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:29,719 Speaker 3: et cetera. And we've all had that experience of our 213 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,960 Speaker 3: mind just kind of wandering onto real life. 214 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 1: Even when you meet someone or talk to someone that 215 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,559 Speaker 1: you look up to, right and you like have this 216 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 1: conversation and you kind of like your mind kind of 217 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 1: like sorry to swear, but it kind of like fucks 218 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:44,199 Speaker 1: you a bit, and you say something you don't want 219 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:47,559 Speaker 1: to say, or you feel like really awkward or nervous 220 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 1: or anxious, and then you go home and literally for 221 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,520 Speaker 1: the next day, I'll be like, why did I say 222 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:55,400 Speaker 1: that why and that person has thought nothing other than oh, 223 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:57,560 Speaker 1: it was nice to meet Lola or whatever that but 224 00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:01,600 Speaker 1: you have created your mind has created this whole ecosystem 225 00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:05,520 Speaker 1: around this one experience in a negative or like you 226 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:08,200 Speaker 1: said in inverted commas, but like and I will ruminate 227 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 1: and go over and over and like why if I 228 00:11:10,559 --> 00:11:11,160 Speaker 1: didn't say that? 229 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,160 Speaker 2: What if I did say that? 230 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,760 Speaker 1: People that will know this feeling if you run to 231 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 1: an ex boyfriend or an extra partner and you're like, 232 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,839 Speaker 1: why didn't I say X, y Z, And why was 233 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 1: I so nice? Why was I a comminating or why 234 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,680 Speaker 1: was I the opposite? Like it's almost like we don't. 235 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:30,480 Speaker 1: And that's where it feels a bit mindlessness because this 236 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:33,199 Speaker 1: other part of the brain, all this other mechanism kind 237 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,600 Speaker 1: of takes over and then you obsess over everything that's 238 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 1: happened free for the next day or two. That's where 239 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:43,880 Speaker 1: one thing about dating Bosso is so powerful because you've 240 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,520 Speaker 1: got someone that one is working on themselves mentally as well. 241 00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 2: That's like, hey, I can see. 242 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,320 Speaker 1: What's going on here just so, and it will just 243 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,040 Speaker 1: go so just so you know you've done nothing wrong. 244 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,559 Speaker 1: Let it go right now, and I can get over 245 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:57,440 Speaker 1: stuff like within a minute or two as a result 246 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 1: of kind of catching those. 247 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,640 Speaker 3: Thoughts absolutely, and I think you know you've done a 248 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,959 Speaker 3: lot of self work as well in learning how to recognize, Oh, 249 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,240 Speaker 3: it's a thought going on. I don't necessarily need to 250 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:09,720 Speaker 3: listen to that thought right now. It's not necessarily useful 251 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:14,440 Speaker 3: right now to be dwelling on this problem. So it's so, 252 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:17,280 Speaker 3: why has this part of the brain? Why is it there? 253 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,400 Speaker 3: If it causes us so many problems, it causes us 254 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 3: to worry unnecessarily. Well, in our ancestral past, you know, 255 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,000 Speaker 3: when we're sort of yeah, exactly, when we are hunter 256 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,160 Speaker 3: gatherers living in bands of you know, one hundred to 257 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:30,040 Speaker 3: so individuals on the savannah, it was really important to 258 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,439 Speaker 3: be on the lookout for threat because life was precarious. 259 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:34,840 Speaker 3: There could be, you know, a line around the corner, 260 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:39,040 Speaker 3: there could be a marauding tribes, person from an enemy tribe. 261 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:43,040 Speaker 3: There could be danger up ahead, dangerous weather're coming up ahead. 262 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,640 Speaker 3: So it's really important to be on the lookout for threat. 263 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:49,800 Speaker 3: And one of those threats also was being alone, being isolated. 264 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:53,360 Speaker 3: Of course, humans lived in groups and the group protected 265 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 3: one another. 266 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 1: Do you know what I learned about humans and groups 267 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,400 Speaker 1: just this week because there's class I do acting schools 268 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:01,840 Speaker 1: all about human behavior. We are, as a species love 269 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,160 Speaker 1: groups of about one hundred. 270 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:06,120 Speaker 3: And fifty yes, yes, and it matches. The average kind 271 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,120 Speaker 3: of size of a hunter gatherer band is around one hundred, 272 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,480 Speaker 3: two hundred and fifty individuals, and you know, during their 273 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 3: whole lifespan, that's all the people that they know, that 274 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,719 Speaker 3: they know very intimately. So coming across the stranger was 275 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,200 Speaker 3: very intimidating for a person in it in those sorts 276 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:18,680 Speaker 3: of times. 277 00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:21,360 Speaker 2: So staying alone is scary. 278 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,840 Speaker 3: Being alone is scary, So staying in the group is 279 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:28,160 Speaker 3: really really important. So our mind is constantly evaluating not 280 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:32,520 Speaker 3: just external threats, but also I better not do anything 281 00:13:32,559 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 3: wrong to utcept the tribe or I might get kicked out, 282 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:39,000 Speaker 3: and that is life threatening totally now in our modern 283 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:42,200 Speaker 3: day lifestyle. If you know, if the random person at 284 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:45,440 Speaker 3: the coffee shop thinks you're an idiot, that's no big deal, 285 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 3: but our brain can still dwell on it thinking, oh 286 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,400 Speaker 3: my god, if that person at the coffee shop kicks 287 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 3: me out of the group, I could be eaten by 288 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:53,800 Speaker 3: a lion. So it feels life threatening and we all 289 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:57,160 Speaker 3: know those examples, especially in our teenage years. And the 290 00:13:57,160 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 3: interesting thing was, in our sort of just pre adolescent years, 291 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 3: early sort of teenage years, we weren't being looked after 292 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,199 Speaker 3: by our parents so much when we were in this 293 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:09,319 Speaker 3: ye hunt to gather of context. We were going off 294 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:11,160 Speaker 3: and doing things more on our own. So that's when 295 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,360 Speaker 3: that part of the brain really kicks in, where the 296 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:16,680 Speaker 3: inner critic comes in to stop us from doing anything 297 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:19,360 Speaker 3: that's going to get us kicked out of the group. Now, 298 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,080 Speaker 3: that was important for our survival, but not so great 299 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:25,240 Speaker 3: for our happiness because it means we're constantly evaluating, oh am, 300 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,239 Speaker 3: I doing the right thing by the group sort of standards. 301 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:32,720 Speaker 3: So it's so fascinating, it's really fascinating, and it also 302 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,360 Speaker 3: it also leads to a bit of forgiveness as well. 303 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:36,880 Speaker 3: We can look at our minds and be just like, 304 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,800 Speaker 3: oh wow, my mind was actually brilliantly adapted to a 305 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 3: time long ago, but sometimes it's not a useful program 306 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:44,800 Speaker 3: for today's kind of lifestyle. 307 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,920 Speaker 1: So when you are stuck in that and caring about 308 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,240 Speaker 1: like what people think of you or not wanting to 309 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:54,720 Speaker 1: upset the flow of things or the group or something, 310 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:56,400 Speaker 1: and then you come back to, Like you listen to 311 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:59,400 Speaker 1: a podcast like this Fearlessly Failing, where people where I'm like. 312 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:02,840 Speaker 2: Do you like own who you are? Be vulnerable, use. 313 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,560 Speaker 1: That to your advantage and don't be afraid to upset 314 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:10,080 Speaker 1: the group. Like that almost completely goes against our whole 315 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:14,120 Speaker 1: mechanism of our brain to survive and to protect ourselves. 316 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:16,720 Speaker 1: So how do you overcome that kind of like in 317 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:17,520 Speaker 1: a critic. 318 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's that's a big question and a huge question, 319 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,240 Speaker 3: and we will unpack that, I think over the next 320 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:27,240 Speaker 3: few episodes hopefully, anyway we'll listen to. But I think 321 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:29,440 Speaker 3: one of the strategies you can use to do that 322 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:32,680 Speaker 3: is this default mode network. It's not on board all 323 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 3: the time, so there's times where we can be really 324 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,120 Speaker 3: focused on the task that we're doing and immersed in 325 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,600 Speaker 3: what we're doing and less distracted by these worrying kind 326 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:44,600 Speaker 3: of thoughts. And we know from studies that meditation practice, mindfulness, 327 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:48,200 Speaker 3: meditation practice switch sort of turns down the volume on 328 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:52,960 Speaker 3: the default mode network. And whilst we're meditating. Then if 329 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,720 Speaker 3: we regularly practice meditation, that we can switch off the 330 00:15:56,760 --> 00:16:00,200 Speaker 3: default mode network more readily even when we're not meditating. 331 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,800 Speaker 3: So we're able to change gears. We can be in 332 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:06,400 Speaker 3: problem solving mode when it's useful. Oh yeah, sometimes it's 333 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,280 Speaker 3: useful to think about what I said in that meeting, 334 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:10,640 Speaker 3: because maybe you do need to go back and apologize, 335 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:12,480 Speaker 3: or maybe you do need to restructure the way you 336 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:15,360 Speaker 3: word things for the next meeting. But other times we know, 337 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,120 Speaker 3: and we all know when it's just going around and 338 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,000 Speaker 3: around in our head and we're just like, I just 339 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,720 Speaker 3: want my mind to shut up for a moment. Practicing 340 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,800 Speaker 3: mindfulness meditation teaches us how to let go of those 341 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:28,480 Speaker 3: sorts or get unhooked from them so they don't become 342 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,720 Speaker 3: like the center point in our focving, and we can 343 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:34,960 Speaker 3: shift gears and refocus on what's important to us, what's 344 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,000 Speaker 3: valuable to us. 345 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:38,680 Speaker 1: Because I can say as like a business owner, and 346 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 1: I'm sure I come under the umbrella of being an entrepreneur. 347 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 2: If I lived. 348 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 1: From the space of consistently protecting myself and kind of 349 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:53,240 Speaker 1: being on the more the worry front foot like and 350 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 1: that kind of like I don't want to ruffle, I 351 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 1: wouldn't be successful. And I'm not saying I'm mega successful 352 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,320 Speaker 1: or anything, but one thing I've learned interviewing people in 353 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:04,199 Speaker 1: this series is most people take the risk when no 354 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,760 Speaker 1: one else believes in them but themselves, like they're able 355 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:11,520 Speaker 1: to kind of like acknowledge the worrying and really be like, 356 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 1: that's not serving me to get to where I need 357 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 1: to get to. 358 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:17,959 Speaker 3: Spot on, spot on you kind of almost summarized act therapy, 359 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 3: which is one of the therapisms sort of training. 360 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 2: What does that stand? 361 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 3: Acceptance and commitment therapy. So one of the things we 362 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:26,119 Speaker 3: need to do is notice the thought. One of the 363 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,760 Speaker 3: questions I often ask myself is doesn't matter whether the 364 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 3: thought's true or not. Is it useful for me right now? 365 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,160 Speaker 3: Is it thought useful for me right now? And if 366 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,159 Speaker 3: the thought's not useful, let's see if we can just 367 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,040 Speaker 3: kind of let it be there in the background of 368 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,760 Speaker 3: our mind. Let's just sort of put it to decide 369 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,080 Speaker 3: and focus on what's important to us. 370 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 1: And I always say to myself, big picture, is this 371 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:48,399 Speaker 1: experience going to be affecting you in year's time? Yeah, 372 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:50,080 Speaker 1: And that's a real quick one for me to get 373 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:52,320 Speaker 1: out of my and I can change that like mouse 374 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:55,280 Speaker 1: running on the like going over and over things by 375 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,119 Speaker 1: going in a year's time, this won't matter. 376 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's a really great way of. 377 00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:02,800 Speaker 1: Doing things that sca you because in the big picture, 378 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:03,920 Speaker 1: it's just nothing more than. 379 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:08,720 Speaker 2: A growth exercise. Yeah, and you learn from the blips. 380 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:12,600 Speaker 1: So much so for people listening again that aren't active 381 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,959 Speaker 1: met and I probably fall into the category of not 382 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:19,600 Speaker 1: being I don't have a consistent meditation practice at the moment, 383 00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 1: but obviously I'm going to be soaking up this series 384 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,760 Speaker 1: with you, and I'm so excited to be a participant 385 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:33,080 Speaker 1: as well. What are the benefits of meditation mindful meditation? Yeah, 386 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:35,040 Speaker 1: what are the benefits of because I know you also 387 00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:38,760 Speaker 1: run like eight week workshops in this so what do 388 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,199 Speaker 1: you see from people that walk in the door at 389 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,879 Speaker 1: the beginning versus the end of Because we're doing well, 390 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,359 Speaker 1: we're technically kind of doing a six week kind of 391 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,480 Speaker 1: program in effectively here. 392 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:53,800 Speaker 3: So yeah, Well, in terms of what I see in 393 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:57,040 Speaker 3: the group so that I run, some of the specific 394 00:18:57,119 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 3: things would be people because it's mindfulness and self compassion. 395 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,960 Speaker 3: So it's learning how to relate to our own suffering 396 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,560 Speaker 3: with the same kindness we would towards the dear friend 397 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:08,960 Speaker 3: or loved One. One of the big things is less 398 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:14,680 Speaker 3: self criticism. Greater sort of peace of mind, better commitment 399 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:15,960 Speaker 3: to goals and values. 400 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:17,480 Speaker 2: So that bit's cool. 401 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,560 Speaker 1: Sorry to cut you off, but you know, when you 402 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,600 Speaker 1: think mind for self compassion, you touched on this with 403 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,159 Speaker 1: a live thing. It's almost like we think I'm going 404 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:27,080 Speaker 1: to letting myself off the book that you're saying it 405 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:29,280 Speaker 1: actually makes you more committed and more determined. 406 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:32,919 Speaker 3: Yes, So the research on self compassion training shows that 407 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:37,399 Speaker 3: people who are more self compassionate are actually more inclined 408 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,840 Speaker 3: to stick to their goals in the long term and 409 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,840 Speaker 3: to engage in healthier habits because they want what's best 410 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,000 Speaker 3: for themselves in the long term, not just a short 411 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,200 Speaker 3: term sort of fix. So it's not sort of about 412 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:52,960 Speaker 3: avoiding discomfort. It's about holding oneself with care and kindness 413 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,840 Speaker 3: in the face of life's inevitable ups and downs. So 414 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:57,880 Speaker 3: that's sort of I guess relating more to the self 415 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:01,640 Speaker 3: compassion aspect of the course in terms of mindfulness practice 416 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,919 Speaker 3: in general or meditation practice in general, and we can 417 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,080 Speaker 3: maybe sort of define what those two things are in 418 00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:07,000 Speaker 3: a second as well. 419 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,840 Speaker 2: Definitely, that was my next question. 420 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:13,120 Speaker 3: Some of the research would be better sleep, less impacted 421 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:17,440 Speaker 3: by stress, so less reactive, less reactive and more responsive. 422 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,680 Speaker 3: So I like to sort of talk about a quote. 423 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,760 Speaker 3: If I can remember it off the top of my head, 424 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,560 Speaker 3: I might just bring up my notes. 425 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:25,480 Speaker 2: I love it. 426 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:29,720 Speaker 1: He's sounding really like smooth. Here, he's got laptop notes 427 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,080 Speaker 1: in front of I'm not gonna lie. I've got my 428 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,280 Speaker 1: little handwritten notes in front of me too. Just I'm 429 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,359 Speaker 1: going to touch on one thing while you're finding that. 430 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:36,880 Speaker 2: Yeah. 431 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:40,560 Speaker 1: Sure, for the listeners, we are going to record this 432 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:45,640 Speaker 1: series in an order, but you don't have to listen 433 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,280 Speaker 1: to it in order. So if you say we're doing 434 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,600 Speaker 1: one on stress and anxiety, say that really resonates with you, 435 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,880 Speaker 1: you can come back and revisit that meditation as many 436 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,199 Speaker 1: times as you want. It's not like you're like I 437 00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:59,399 Speaker 1: have to do one, two, three, four, five, six in 438 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 1: order are that we release them online. 439 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:04,840 Speaker 2: You can totally be like oh no. 440 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:08,800 Speaker 1: Like for me, I'm really into body image and learning 441 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:12,440 Speaker 1: about how to manage that, so I might go that 442 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:16,320 Speaker 1: might become my daily meditation for a month or two, 443 00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:19,720 Speaker 1: like who knows. So just so to listeners, you're your 444 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:23,760 Speaker 1: own master. You can decide this is our gift to you, 445 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:27,960 Speaker 1: this is your meditation practice, your mindful practice, make this 446 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:28,439 Speaker 1: work for you. 447 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 2: I've found that really liberating. 448 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,439 Speaker 3: Yeah. I think one of the things I say to 449 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,959 Speaker 3: people when they're starting to explore the concept of mind 450 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,360 Speaker 3: from us of meditation is to just be really curious. 451 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,439 Speaker 3: Be curious about every aspect of your experience. Notice it 452 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:43,639 Speaker 3: with fresh eyes, as if you've never encountered that before. So, 453 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,639 Speaker 3: if you're experiencing difficulty when you're meditating, seeing if you 454 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:49,760 Speaker 3: can notice that too. Explore how do I know that 455 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,920 Speaker 3: this is difficult? What's going on in my body, my mind, 456 00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,640 Speaker 3: my thoughts, my feeling, sensations that say this is difficult, 457 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,160 Speaker 3: or this is bad, or this is negative? Like where 458 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,600 Speaker 3: does that label even come from? Label comes with a 459 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,240 Speaker 3: whole bunch of story attached to it, But the objective 460 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:06,480 Speaker 3: experience of something being difficult is quite different when you 461 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,159 Speaker 3: break it down into the nuts and bolts of what 462 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:13,119 Speaker 3: that experience is. I found the quot should be at 463 00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:15,399 Speaker 3: the tip of my tongue. I've said it so many times, 464 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,359 Speaker 3: but it's sort of an informal definition for me of 465 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:23,080 Speaker 3: what mindfulness is about, or the broader possibilities that mindfulness 466 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:27,360 Speaker 3: opens in my life and people's lives. So between stimulus 467 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:32,280 Speaker 3: and response, there is a space. In that space is 468 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:37,359 Speaker 3: our power to choose our response, and in our response 469 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:42,840 Speaker 3: lies our growth and freedom. Ah And if we unpack that, 470 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:47,960 Speaker 3: it's basically saying things happen and we have these automatic reactions. 471 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:51,320 Speaker 3: If we can increase the time between what happens and 472 00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:54,359 Speaker 3: our automatic reaction, we increase the time where we can 473 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:57,439 Speaker 3: make a choice about how we respond, and then we 474 00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,560 Speaker 3: can make choices that line up with what's really important 475 00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 3: to us. So it's about breaking default habits and programming. 476 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:11,480 Speaker 3: So it's a good sort of informal definition of mindfulness. 477 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:15,680 Speaker 3: One of the more formal definitions is by Cabatzin, who's 478 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,399 Speaker 3: a founder of Mindfulness based Stress Reduction, which is a 479 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:22,360 Speaker 3: very evidence based program for stress reduction that uses mindfulness, 480 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:26,200 Speaker 3: and he says mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying 481 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:31,920 Speaker 3: attention on purpose in the present moment, non judgmentally, and 482 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,600 Speaker 3: often he adds to that and in the service of 483 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:39,040 Speaker 3: self understanding and wisdom. So mindfulness is intentional. We're not 484 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,200 Speaker 3: just kind of paying attention for no reason. We're sort 485 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,280 Speaker 3: of like we're trying to get something out of this, 486 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:48,400 Speaker 3: some self understanding, some wisdoms and patience. It's deliberate. We're 487 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,480 Speaker 3: paying attention on purpose as opposed to when we just 488 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,840 Speaker 3: immersed in a task because we're carried away with the 489 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:55,280 Speaker 3: flow of it, which is also a great aspect of 490 00:23:55,320 --> 00:24:00,199 Speaker 3: being alive and non judgmentally, so we're being open to 491 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:02,800 Speaker 3: whatever comes up in our experience. It's not just about 492 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,600 Speaker 3: feeling relaxed. It's not clearing the mind of thoughts. It's 493 00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:09,840 Speaker 3: noticing what arises. So you can be mindful in any 494 00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:12,320 Speaker 3: aspect of day to day life. Anytime you can notice 495 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,600 Speaker 3: what you're doing and notice the fact that you're noticing 496 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:19,960 Speaker 3: is doing it mindfully. Mindfulness meditation is a more structured 497 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,520 Speaker 3: sitting down or lying down and paying attention to something 498 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:27,439 Speaker 3: on purpose for say a specific duration of time, and 499 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:30,600 Speaker 3: normally it's a focused kind of approach, so focusing on 500 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:34,000 Speaker 3: the breath, focusing on a mantra, focus on body sensations, 501 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:39,600 Speaker 3: or focusing on noticing the arising of thoughts in the mind. 502 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,960 Speaker 3: And that space between one thought and the next thought 503 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,880 Speaker 3: popping up is a really amazing space to inhabit because 504 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:49,040 Speaker 3: you're suddenly confronted with the fact that I'm not my thoughts. 505 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,679 Speaker 3: I'm the person aware of having thoughts as well, and 506 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,560 Speaker 3: that can be quite disconcerting as well at first when 507 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,480 Speaker 3: you start to notice that, but there's a huge amount 508 00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,879 Speaker 3: of power and potential in that experience as well. 509 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:01,840 Speaker 2: Ah, so good. 510 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,280 Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to touch on for 511 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:08,800 Speaker 1: this intro before we kind of add the meditation. 512 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:09,400 Speaker 2: To this episode. 513 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,400 Speaker 3: I could really quickly run through some of the other benefits, 514 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:16,280 Speaker 3: because I think we please, please, but I think listeners 515 00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:19,040 Speaker 3: might sort of like to know, well, Okay, less reactive, 516 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:20,760 Speaker 3: that's good. I'm not that reactive to a person. But 517 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:25,800 Speaker 3: what else better? Emotional regulation, higher brain functioning. I think 518 00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:28,919 Speaker 3: we all could want a bit of that. Improved immune function, 519 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:34,600 Speaker 3: so we know that. Yeah, so regular meditation practice helps 520 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,880 Speaker 3: to lower cortisol, which is a stress hormone, and cortisol 521 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:41,440 Speaker 3: suppresses in a way, the immune system. So we've found 522 00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:45,200 Speaker 3: that that by doing that we have better immune response, 523 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,399 Speaker 3: lowers our heart rate and blood pressure, which is good 524 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,960 Speaker 3: for anyone with cutting vascular issues, increases our powers of 525 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,359 Speaker 3: focus and attention. There's a lot of research on people 526 00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:57,840 Speaker 3: with ADHD, so meditate regularly, they're able to pay more 527 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:02,280 Speaker 3: attention in day to day life. Lowered stress levels. Now 528 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:04,399 Speaker 3: this happens with regular practice it might not happen in 529 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,600 Speaker 3: the moment when you're practicing meditation. So that's a bit 530 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:09,120 Speaker 3: of a misconception that you know, I feel relaxed afterwards, 531 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:11,440 Speaker 3: or if I don't feel relaxed often, i'm doing it wrong. 532 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:17,880 Speaker 3: In certain tailored meditation interventions like mind for Self, compassion 533 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:22,240 Speaker 3: and MICBT can actually reduce the risk of depression relapse. 534 00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:29,520 Speaker 3: Better academic achievement is being found decrease work related burnout. 535 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,320 Speaker 3: Literally you can change the brain within eight weeks of 536 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,919 Speaker 3: regular practice. So there's thickening in the cortex, which is 537 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,560 Speaker 3: our sort of reasoning part of the brain, more grain 538 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:40,520 Speaker 3: matter in the brain, and it shrinks the amig dealt, 539 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,479 Speaker 3: which is a flight center of the brain, so it 540 00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:43,840 Speaker 3: becomes less reactive. 541 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:47,520 Speaker 2: Hence we're in that less of a survival mode, less of. 542 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,880 Speaker 3: A survival mode, or more of a mode I've got 543 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:51,000 Speaker 3: enough and it's safe. 544 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,520 Speaker 1: And the cortex is that front bit where we make. 545 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:54,919 Speaker 2: All a lot of choices. 546 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, and a lot of critical thinking and rational thinking 547 00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:01,800 Speaker 3: comes there. Increased density in the hipocampus, which regulates emotion 548 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:06,000 Speaker 3: but also is involved in memory and learning. And this 549 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:09,159 Speaker 3: is the one I thought you might like, Laola. It 550 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:12,840 Speaker 3: reduces shortening of the telomeres in our DNA. What the 551 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:16,119 Speaker 3: fuck does that mean? It essentially slows down the aging 552 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:22,040 Speaker 3: process in our DNA? Yes, all is so fifteen minutes 553 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:25,760 Speaker 3: of daily meditation helps with telamaranse production. In fact, in 554 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:30,760 Speaker 3: one study, anything that sort of triggered the relaxation response 555 00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:32,760 Speaker 3: can do that. A yoga and prayer and things like 556 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:35,520 Speaker 3: that can help as well. And another study found that 557 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:39,199 Speaker 3: zen meditators who meditate a lot, a lot more than 558 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,439 Speaker 3: I do, for sure have ten percent longer telomeres than 559 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,760 Speaker 3: people of a similar age, So basically at the genetic 560 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:50,320 Speaker 3: level that they're slowing down their aging process, which has implication. 561 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:51,720 Speaker 3: I mean we sort of think of that in the 562 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:53,960 Speaker 3: kind of esthetic super fishal way of like, oh yeah, 563 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:55,840 Speaker 3: I get to look younger if I meditate regularly, But 564 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,440 Speaker 3: you're also slowing down some of the accumulated damage that's 565 00:27:58,440 --> 00:27:59,359 Speaker 3: occurring in the body. 566 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,200 Speaker 2: Chad looks very young by the way. It's quite annoying. 567 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,160 Speaker 3: He said, here for your age as well. 568 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:10,000 Speaker 1: So wow, I've been I've been taking So this is 569 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,040 Speaker 1: why Dad was like, I know you'll like this. I'll 570 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 1: literally rock on in to Brian Health Food and I'll 571 00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:18,720 Speaker 1: be like, right, so I've got my collagen, I've got 572 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,320 Speaker 1: my vitamin C. What else can I be taking for 573 00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:23,640 Speaker 1: anti aging? I'm also doing like an eight step skin 574 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:27,840 Speaker 1: program every day. I'm excoliating every second day, and Dad's like, 575 00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:33,680 Speaker 1: whoa nelly chill, like pull up the handbrake and yeah, 576 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,560 Speaker 1: so that excites me a lot. Just one last question 577 00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:40,640 Speaker 1: I have in the ideal world, how long should we 578 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:43,680 Speaker 1: be meditating and how often should we be meditating? 579 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a really really good question. So to get 580 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:51,960 Speaker 3: some of these researched health benefits and psychological benefits, the research, 581 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:56,760 Speaker 3: the research shows twenty minutes four times per week, twenty 582 00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:57,520 Speaker 3: minutes four times a. 583 00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,960 Speaker 2: Week, so twenty minutes stints, twenty minute stink. 584 00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:03,200 Speaker 3: Yeah. Now, there's not a lot of research showing if 585 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,040 Speaker 3: you can split that up into ten minutes morning, ten 586 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:08,440 Speaker 3: minutes evening, more seems to be better. So more experienced 587 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,200 Speaker 3: meditators who need to take very regularly do seem to 588 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:14,880 Speaker 3: see more of these benefits. But twenty minutes, four days 589 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:18,240 Speaker 3: per week, eight weeks has been found to increase a 590 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,200 Speaker 3: lot of these sorts of benefits. So most of the 591 00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,680 Speaker 3: evidence based programs you'll find will go for eight weeks. 592 00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:24,920 Speaker 3: Anything shorter than that will be an interesting introduction, but 593 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:28,880 Speaker 3: you won't see measurable changes. And most of those courses 594 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:32,400 Speaker 3: will emphasize at least twenty minutes of practice daily, which 595 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:34,400 Speaker 3: in the real world normally turns into about three to 596 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,840 Speaker 3: four days per week. But any amount of meditation is good. 597 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:41,080 Speaker 3: Start where you're at. Start with what's achievable. Tap it 598 00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:43,000 Speaker 3: onto something you're already doing every day. If you brush 599 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,760 Speaker 3: your teeth every morning, when you put down your toothbrush, 600 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:48,040 Speaker 3: sit down, even just for a minute, and focus on 601 00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:50,800 Speaker 3: the breath. And we'll talk about in the intro meditation 602 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:54,160 Speaker 3: how to meditate, and I promise you, if you do 603 00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:56,960 Speaker 3: it regularly enough, you'll see some really amazing benefits in 604 00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:57,960 Speaker 3: your day to day life. 605 00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:01,600 Speaker 1: So can I ask a personal question? Yeah, how often 606 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:02,960 Speaker 1: and how do you meditate? 607 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,840 Speaker 3: I knew you would ask that question, and my class 608 00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:08,360 Speaker 3: has always asked me as well. And this little inner 609 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,520 Speaker 3: critic in me tells me that you need to meditate 610 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:14,480 Speaker 3: more and yours. And sometimes I listen to the inner critic, 611 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:18,560 Speaker 3: and sometimes I stick my finger up. I would probably 612 00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:22,320 Speaker 3: meditate three days per week where I sit down properly 613 00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:26,600 Speaker 3: as in like twenty minutes. Yeah. The benefits of the 614 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,120 Speaker 3: self compassion cause for me, though, came much more from 615 00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:32,920 Speaker 3: the informal practices of learning in the moment to moment 616 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:36,560 Speaker 3: day daily sort of activities. How am I relating to myself? 617 00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:38,960 Speaker 3: How am I relating to my thoughts? What's my inner 618 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,880 Speaker 3: critic up to? Can I bring on board another in 619 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:44,640 Speaker 3: a compassionate voice at once? What's best for me? How 620 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:46,840 Speaker 3: do I sort of notice and stay with emotions in 621 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:48,040 Speaker 3: the day to day. So I sort of tried to 622 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,240 Speaker 3: bring mindfulness very much into my day to day life. 623 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:53,160 Speaker 3: And there's a lot of things I will deliberately do 624 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:59,080 Speaker 3: with focused attention and sort of compassionate intention. And most 625 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:00,920 Speaker 3: nights when I'm drifting to see if I'll be listening 626 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,120 Speaker 3: to a meditation. But that's kind of cheating because I'm 627 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:04,719 Speaker 3: really sort of doing it to get to sleep as 628 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:09,160 Speaker 3: opposed to harness my powers of awareness, concentration and compassion. 629 00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:11,160 Speaker 2: I'm a bit cheaty like that too. 630 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:12,760 Speaker 1: Like I can't get to sleep, I'll either go back 631 00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:15,040 Speaker 1: to my mantra I learned years ago in team or 632 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,960 Speaker 1: old box breathe you know you do? Yeah, half a 633 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,640 Speaker 1: four hold for four x half a four and I 634 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:22,880 Speaker 1: get like three rounds in and I'm like, oh fuck, 635 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:26,040 Speaker 1: this is exhausting, but it makes full Yeah, because you're 636 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:28,360 Speaker 1: taking your attention, I'm presuming off the rumination. 637 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:30,880 Speaker 3: Yeah. And then and that sort of can be a 638 00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:32,840 Speaker 3: big part of it, is sort of letting the rumination 639 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,520 Speaker 3: be and choosing to focus on something else. And sometimes 640 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:37,560 Speaker 3: that drops a rumination off. And that's all well and good, 641 00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:39,400 Speaker 3: and we cannot off to sleep, but we're going to 642 00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:41,560 Speaker 3: be careful not to use these strategies as a way 643 00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:45,880 Speaker 3: of fighting our inner experience. We've got to kind of 644 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:46,960 Speaker 3: make friends with our inner e. 645 00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:47,800 Speaker 2: Yeah. 646 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:49,880 Speaker 3: But that's a lot to unpack. That's where you need 647 00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:52,000 Speaker 3: to do a course or see a teacher to really 648 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:52,960 Speaker 3: understand the difference. 649 00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:56,280 Speaker 1: And I will just touch on this because I'm so 650 00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:59,200 Speaker 1: passionate about it. But both you and I are big 651 00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:02,440 Speaker 1: believers in there, and I think that in order to 652 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,800 Speaker 1: I think that it's so this course that we're running 653 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:10,480 Speaker 1: here is about mindfulness and meditation. But the whole reason 654 00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:13,920 Speaker 1: why I have opened up so much to it is yes, 655 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:16,680 Speaker 1: definitely having you in my life, but also I have 656 00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,920 Speaker 1: a therapist and we try different forms of meditation and 657 00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:21,200 Speaker 1: we try hypnotherapy. 658 00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:24,360 Speaker 2: We did a guided meditation last week. 659 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:29,400 Speaker 1: We also did a visualization technique and after, right at 660 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:30,920 Speaker 1: the end of the session, he's like, can you see 661 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,960 Speaker 1: what I'm doing for you? And I was like what, 662 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,240 Speaker 1: and he goes, you get to make up your own meditation. 663 00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:38,040 Speaker 1: I'm giving you the tools so you can figure out 664 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:41,720 Speaker 1: what works for you and build something that works for you. 665 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:43,960 Speaker 1: And but that has only come through two and a 666 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:47,240 Speaker 1: half years of therapy and having the self awareness to 667 00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:48,240 Speaker 1: now be able to go. 668 00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:49,880 Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, that works really really well. 669 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:52,239 Speaker 1: And that's why I'm so I believe in and this 670 00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:54,320 Speaker 1: is quite a selfish thing to say, but I'm also 671 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:56,120 Speaker 1: finally ready to do this with you. 672 00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you know. Yeah, it's a slow kind of process. 673 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:01,800 Speaker 3: You need to learn what works for you. You've got 674 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:05,400 Speaker 3: to experiment with different techniques or ways of doing it. 675 00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:07,200 Speaker 3: You've got to put yourself out of your comfort zone 676 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,840 Speaker 3: as well. It doesn't it's not always easy. It doesn't 677 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:11,600 Speaker 3: have to be easy. A lot of good things in 678 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:16,040 Speaker 3: life aren't easy. But it's important to sort of also 679 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:19,120 Speaker 3: feel like you're kind of knowing what you're doing. You've 680 00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,640 Speaker 3: got some steps or some guidance along the way intoto 681 00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:24,000 Speaker 3: doing it properly. And that's where you know, listening to 682 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,120 Speaker 3: apps and stuff can be great, but they just sort 683 00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:28,600 Speaker 3: of don't help with your own internal experience it's going 684 00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:30,400 Speaker 3: on as you listen, yeah, and need someone to kind 685 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:32,640 Speaker 3: of talk to about that and explore like, oh, this 686 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:35,760 Speaker 3: happens and then my mind does this, And that's where 687 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:38,400 Speaker 3: it can be helpful to have a teacher or a 688 00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:39,640 Speaker 3: class or a group or whatever. 689 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:43,680 Speaker 1: Oh so cool, so exciting. Yeah, it's making me wander 690 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:47,040 Speaker 1: your group session. But this is a perfect, perfect. 691 00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:48,200 Speaker 2: Prelude to that. 692 00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,480 Speaker 1: So what will happen now, just so the listeners know 693 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,640 Speaker 1: for the format of this series, So what's going to 694 00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:56,920 Speaker 1: happen now is Jad will do an introduction kind of 695 00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:00,800 Speaker 1: like guided meditation, and then for each episode, so it'll 696 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:02,400 Speaker 1: start like this where we have a little bit of 697 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:05,080 Speaker 1: a banter about the topic, speak to a little bit 698 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:09,080 Speaker 1: of personal experience. I know, especially I will because I'm 699 00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:12,960 Speaker 1: all you guys know, I'm all out there. But also 700 00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:17,920 Speaker 1: Jad's also worked with me through those experiences, through our friendship. 701 00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:20,600 Speaker 2: Of fifteen probably fifteen years. 702 00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:24,200 Speaker 3: Sure, let's yeah, let's not comment. 703 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:26,560 Speaker 2: Do you think it's twenty time? Do you think it's twenty. 704 00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,719 Speaker 3: Well, since we've known one another as adults, it's been ten. 705 00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:34,800 Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, yeah, okay, that's still very very solid. 706 00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:37,360 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, I mean it's gone very quickly, which is 707 00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:38,440 Speaker 3: also quite terrifying. 708 00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:40,919 Speaker 1: I'm going to end with it, I know, right, I'm 709 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,000 Speaker 1: going to end with a random fact I learned in 710 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:47,000 Speaker 1: my human behavior class at acting school. Did you know, Chad, 711 00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,160 Speaker 1: I'm never going to be able to outsmart Chad, here's 712 00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:53,719 Speaker 1: a million times smarter than me. But this fact you 713 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,600 Speaker 1: might not know. Do you know? The amount of neurons 714 00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:58,680 Speaker 1: we have in our gut is roughly the same amount 715 00:34:58,680 --> 00:34:59,839 Speaker 1: of neurons in a cat's brain. 716 00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:02,160 Speaker 3: Wow, I did not know. 717 00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:05,759 Speaker 1: That explains a lot about cats, doesn't it. I'm a 718 00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:09,160 Speaker 1: dog person, So where you are, you know, don'try? Sorry, 719 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,000 Speaker 1: people listening, they've got cats. I love cats too, my 720 00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:14,000 Speaker 1: dad's of it. I love all animals. But also, like, 721 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:17,880 Speaker 1: that's got to tell you cats are smart, right, They're savvy? 722 00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:21,000 Speaker 1: How intuitive our guts are. We talk about gut responses 723 00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,520 Speaker 1: and that I've got a gut feeling about this, or 724 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,000 Speaker 1: I've you know, and that we sometimes call it intuition 725 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:29,759 Speaker 1: or something, but like our guts are smart, have that 726 00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:32,759 Speaker 1: many neurons in our gut and think about like if 727 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:34,960 Speaker 1: you get nervous, you've got to run to the bathroom, yeah, 728 00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:35,920 Speaker 1: or if you're really worried. 729 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:38,200 Speaker 2: Sometimes I can do the opposite, you know, like I 730 00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:40,200 Speaker 2: think hold on, yeah. 731 00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:42,600 Speaker 1: And I think if our guts have got that many 732 00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:45,120 Speaker 1: neurons in them, there's gar to be And that's when 733 00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:48,160 Speaker 1: Also when you were talking about tuning into the internal, 734 00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:51,680 Speaker 1: is when the body will actually tell you so much 735 00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:52,799 Speaker 1: about what's going on. 736 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, huge amounts, even. 737 00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:58,000 Speaker 2: Almost before the brain kind of has tapped into it. 738 00:35:58,120 --> 00:35:59,399 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, very cool. 739 00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,279 Speaker 2: Anyway, I could, I could rant about this kind of 740 00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:04,680 Speaker 2: stuff for ages for listeners. 741 00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:07,040 Speaker 1: Now I'm going to step away and Chad will take 742 00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:10,680 Speaker 1: you through a guided meditation and this will be. 743 00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:11,480 Speaker 2: The first episode. 744 00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:15,120 Speaker 1: Every Friday we're going to release a new episode and 745 00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,040 Speaker 1: they're all going to have Should. 746 00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:18,880 Speaker 2: We say what the topics are so people get excited? 747 00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:20,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, I reckon. 748 00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:21,200 Speaker 2: So we're going to do. 749 00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:23,920 Speaker 1: A topic on stress and anxiety, which I think we 750 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,360 Speaker 1: can probably all relate to it some stage, about lives, 751 00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:31,320 Speaker 1: body image, obviously having history of eating disorders. I'm really 752 00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:35,520 Speaker 1: pumped about that one because I think if I had 753 00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:38,480 Speaker 1: these tools in my talkit ten years ago, when you 754 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:42,160 Speaker 1: saw me go through an eating disorder, I think I 755 00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:46,600 Speaker 1: would have probably come out of it or acknowledge it, 756 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:47,320 Speaker 1: probably a little. 757 00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:50,520 Speaker 2: Bit faster than what I had. And that's fine. 758 00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:55,719 Speaker 1: That's our own journey and I don't regret anything, you 759 00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:57,840 Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like the failure is the lesson 760 00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:03,040 Speaker 1: heartbreak and grief. Palme to unpack that, because again, that's 761 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:06,720 Speaker 1: something that we all have experienced at sums. 762 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:10,960 Speaker 3: And grief is not something you do well in you know, 763 00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:13,919 Speaker 3: kind of industrialized sort of lives. It's sort of it's 764 00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:16,319 Speaker 3: really pathologized, which I think is a big problem. It's 765 00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,160 Speaker 3: made to it seems like it's a sickness or a 766 00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:22,480 Speaker 3: weakness to feel grief totally this time limits placed, not 767 00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,920 Speaker 3: even to this day. It's just it's bizarre. But we'll 768 00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:26,520 Speaker 3: unpack that. 769 00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:29,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't wait to unpack that because I've recently 770 00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:32,080 Speaker 1: worked on it with my therapist too, and he was like, 771 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,479 Speaker 1: why are you saying this? It is like, why can't 772 00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,520 Speaker 1: you just love this situation that you're in. I was like, 773 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:42,040 Speaker 1: because I'm being selfish, And I literally was crying, saying 774 00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:46,239 Speaker 1: I've been really selfish right now. The next topic is 775 00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:48,960 Speaker 1: that feeling of being lost or feeling stuck. And then 776 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:53,319 Speaker 1: I've written versus drive and motivation because this is a 777 00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:57,000 Speaker 1: feeling that I am is most. It comes up the 778 00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:59,400 Speaker 1: most for me in my age and in my life 779 00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:01,320 Speaker 1: and where I am now of like, ohway should be 780 00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:02,600 Speaker 1: doing more, I should be going faster. 781 00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,680 Speaker 3: And I think that's why we're good friends because you 782 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,280 Speaker 3: you sort of took about Oh I imagine if I wasn't driven, 783 00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:11,040 Speaker 3: if I were, and I'm like, I get so often 784 00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,480 Speaker 3: stuck in the duckness. So it's you know, you've you've 785 00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:15,400 Speaker 3: been a motivating force in my life to kind of 786 00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:17,960 Speaker 3: get shift that shift that kind of energy. 787 00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:21,319 Speaker 2: I suppose, yeah, but I had I fear. I fear the. 788 00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:25,919 Speaker 1: Other stuff so much, like so much like literally I'll 789 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,160 Speaker 1: walk into my therapist and I'll be like all welling 790 00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:29,760 Speaker 1: up and he's like tell me, and I'm. 791 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:31,840 Speaker 2: Like stuck, really stuck. 792 00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:35,000 Speaker 1: I and then I and even last week I went in, 793 00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:37,600 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, can we talk about discipline? And 794 00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:41,080 Speaker 1: he goes right, and I go, I'm not disciplined enough 795 00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:44,839 Speaker 1: and he's like, right, pretty sure, this isn't disciplined. Problem 796 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,840 Speaker 1: Roler sight away, He's like, you're very, very disciplined and 797 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:50,600 Speaker 1: hard working, and I was like, really, like, I didn't. 798 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:51,640 Speaker 2: I was so caught up. 799 00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:55,120 Speaker 1: In my rumination. So I'm really pumped to kind of 800 00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:59,279 Speaker 1: like unpack that one. And then I think happiness and gratitude. 801 00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:03,919 Speaker 1: And you've just touched Sean earlier that our brain isn't 802 00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:07,680 Speaker 1: actually like wired to kind of settle into that. 803 00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:12,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's not hardwired for happiness. There's aspects of 804 00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:16,080 Speaker 3: our evolution that lead us to feel happiness, but it's 805 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,600 Speaker 3: not our default kind of worrying. So how can we 806 00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:21,160 Speaker 3: work with that and understand that? And also except the 807 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:23,160 Speaker 3: fact that life comes with a lot of difficulty and 808 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:25,800 Speaker 3: that's not a bad thing. That's where we derive a 809 00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:29,840 Speaker 3: lot of meaning and purpose and strength and resilience and courage, 810 00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:33,239 Speaker 3: and you know that adds to our stories. So how 811 00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:35,160 Speaker 3: do we sort of embrace that holy as part of 812 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:37,640 Speaker 3: our lives instead of getting so hung up on feeling 813 00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:39,200 Speaker 3: good all the time. If you want to feel good 814 00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:42,640 Speaker 3: all the time, get hooked on drugs. You know, that's 815 00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:44,319 Speaker 3: you could take as many drugs as you like and 816 00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:45,799 Speaker 3: to eventually die and you feel good all the time, 817 00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:48,840 Speaker 3: but you won't be happy because it lacks meaning and 818 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:50,560 Speaker 3: purpose and connection. 819 00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:52,279 Speaker 2: And all you would love. 820 00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:55,799 Speaker 1: I interviewed this wonderful spiritual teacher called biet On here, 821 00:39:56,400 --> 00:40:01,120 Speaker 1: and she's an ex heroin addict, and she said cocaine. 822 00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:06,000 Speaker 1: And she talks very openly about heroin cocaine and throughout 823 00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:07,279 Speaker 1: her life she was kind of like a rock star, 824 00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:08,920 Speaker 1: really young in Americash's New. 825 00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:10,840 Speaker 2: York, got this fantastic accent. 826 00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:14,440 Speaker 1: And she said, drugs. She goes, I don't care what 827 00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:16,920 Speaker 1: kind of drug it is. She goes, drugs is a 828 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,840 Speaker 1: cheap man's version of having a spiritual experience. 829 00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:22,040 Speaker 2: And I was like, whoa. 830 00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:24,840 Speaker 1: And then I took it into like because obviously my 831 00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:27,759 Speaker 1: drug is often food, and I was like, ah, right, 832 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,240 Speaker 1: I use it to have this like cheap kind of high. 833 00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:33,959 Speaker 1: And then I it's so fascinating and escape. 834 00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:34,439 Speaker 3: Some kind of pain. 835 00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:38,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. But it was just really cool look at that. 836 00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:41,759 Speaker 1: And I've written here like addictive behavior is something that 837 00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:43,920 Speaker 1: will probably come into a few of the topics. 838 00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:44,960 Speaker 2: So there you have it. 839 00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:46,719 Speaker 1: That's what you've got to look forward to for the 840 00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:49,960 Speaker 1: next five episodes. 841 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:50,560 Speaker 2: After this. 842 00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:53,480 Speaker 1: The intro in our little chat will probably be a 843 00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:56,359 Speaker 1: pinch shorter than this one, just because we want you 844 00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:59,879 Speaker 1: to understand the topic and then be able to tap 845 00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:04,880 Speaker 1: into the meditation. As you know, Jad is not only 846 00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:08,560 Speaker 1: a phenomenal practitioner but also a dear friend of mine. 847 00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,080 Speaker 1: So if you do want to learn about Jad, the 848 00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:13,759 Speaker 1: best way is I think his Instagram handle, which is 849 00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:15,920 Speaker 1: jad Patrick Neutropathy. 850 00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:18,879 Speaker 2: And do you respond to dms and stuff like that. 851 00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:22,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, definitely so Instagram Jad Patrick Neutropathy and annoyingly 852 00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:26,880 Speaker 3: on Facebook Jad Patrick Natural Therapies because I accidentally created 853 00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:29,080 Speaker 3: an account and then couldn't remember the password and now 854 00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,759 Speaker 3: that name is taken. I'm not very good with technology. 855 00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:33,480 Speaker 2: He's not. He's he's actually not. 856 00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,359 Speaker 3: That's not a limiting belief, that is just fact. 857 00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:43,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, And on that note, I'm going to stop now 858 00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:45,239 Speaker 1: and let Jad do his meditation with you. 859 00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:46,720 Speaker 2: And this one is this. 860 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:48,759 Speaker 1: Is a taste of mindful meditation, would you Yeah, this 861 00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:51,200 Speaker 1: will be sort of an introduction into sort of how 862 00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:53,080 Speaker 1: to meditate, like how to get into the right headspace. 863 00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:55,120 Speaker 3: So we do a little muscle relaxation exercise and then 864 00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,920 Speaker 3: a very very basic intro into how to meditate. 865 00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:00,799 Speaker 1: Perfect and if you want to make sure that you 866 00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:03,360 Speaker 1: don't miss Every Friday, at about six am, we'll release 867 00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:05,279 Speaker 1: an episode. So if you want to make sure you 868 00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:08,680 Speaker 1: don't miss an episode and a meditation, just subscribe. Now. 869 00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:11,000 Speaker 1: It's free, it's easy to do. You can literally do 870 00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:14,279 Speaker 1: it on your phone. And that also allows us to 871 00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,840 Speaker 1: grow as well, so that would be awesome, big. 872 00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:27,320 Speaker 3: Love, thanks. So this first exercise will be an introduction 873 00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:30,440 Speaker 3: to meditation, so we'll be doing what's called a progressive 874 00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:33,879 Speaker 3: muscle relaxation, which is a way to just prepare our 875 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,520 Speaker 3: bodies for meditation so that we're a little bit more settled, 876 00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:39,799 Speaker 3: a little bit more present. And then following that will 877 00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:44,560 Speaker 3: be an introduction to meditating on the breath. The thing 878 00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:47,359 Speaker 3: with meditation is you can choose anything to focus on. 879 00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:49,560 Speaker 3: In this one, we'll start with the breath because the 880 00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:53,120 Speaker 3: breath is always with you, but you could listen to sounds, 881 00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:58,200 Speaker 3: or you could focus on body sensations or the arisal 882 00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:03,160 Speaker 3: of thoughts in your mind, whatever suits you. So begin 883 00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:07,319 Speaker 3: by finding a seat, a comfortable sort of seat, and 884 00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:11,080 Speaker 3: we want our back nice and straight upright but not uptight, 885 00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:14,560 Speaker 3: so we want to be able to breathe fully, having 886 00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:18,280 Speaker 3: a nice straight spine sends a message through the nervous 887 00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:20,560 Speaker 3: system to be alert, but we don't want to be 888 00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:24,160 Speaker 3: tense about it. So if that feels particularly uncomfortable, then 889 00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:26,880 Speaker 3: maybe choose a different position that you want to be 890 00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:29,520 Speaker 3: able to breathe fully. Some nice long breaths help to 891 00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:36,160 Speaker 3: calm the nervous system down. So finding your seat, adjusting 892 00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:38,880 Speaker 3: your posture to you feel comfortable, noticing the pull of 893 00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:43,759 Speaker 3: gravity through the seat through your butt, And what we're 894 00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:47,040 Speaker 3: going to do is correct our posture first, So just 895 00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:50,440 Speaker 3: on your next in breath, tensing your shoulders and lifting 896 00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:54,920 Speaker 3: them up to yours, so breathing in and on the 897 00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:58,600 Speaker 3: outbreath gently rolling the shoulders back so you open up 898 00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:02,160 Speaker 3: the chest area, almost like you're going to give someone 899 00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:05,840 Speaker 3: a big hug. Opening the chest area sort of sends 900 00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:08,440 Speaker 3: a message of safety through the nervous system, so we 901 00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:14,000 Speaker 3: feel calm and content and safe. Then on the next 902 00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:16,840 Speaker 3: breath in, we're going to tense the abdominal muscle, so 903 00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:22,719 Speaker 3: breathing in, holding some tension in the abdominal muscles, and 904 00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:27,439 Speaker 3: then on the outbreath really relaxing the abdominal muscles, really 905 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:33,480 Speaker 3: letting go, softening that area and just breathing naturally for 906 00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:43,320 Speaker 3: a few breaths, and then on the next in breath, 907 00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:44,719 Speaker 3: at the top of the inn breath, we're going to 908 00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:50,560 Speaker 3: scrunch up our face muscle, so breathing in, scrunching the 909 00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:54,960 Speaker 3: face muscles, feeling that tension and discomfort, and then on 910 00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:58,920 Speaker 3: the out breath letting go, letting go of any tension 911 00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:03,319 Speaker 3: in the face, relaxing the jaw, relaxing the muscles around 912 00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:07,600 Speaker 3: the eyes. Our face does a lot of work communicating 913 00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:13,040 Speaker 3: our emotions throughout the whole day. Now's an opportunity to 914 00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:18,719 Speaker 3: just let it rest. The next part of this exercise 915 00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:22,440 Speaker 3: will involve tensing different muscle groups in the body and 916 00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:25,040 Speaker 3: noticing the tension, seeing if you can make room for 917 00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:29,120 Speaker 3: that tension and discomfort, and then letting go and relaxing 918 00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:31,400 Speaker 3: on the outbreath. So we're going to start with our toes. 919 00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:36,360 Speaker 3: Bring your attention down to the toes, noticing whatever you 920 00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:40,320 Speaker 3: notice in the toe region, the warmth of your shoes 921 00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:43,279 Speaker 3: or textures of your socks, whatever you can feel in 922 00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:49,600 Speaker 3: that area. And then as you breathe in next, tensing 923 00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:55,760 Speaker 3: the toes, so breathing in and scrunching the toes, feeling 924 00:45:55,800 --> 00:46:00,680 Speaker 3: that tension. They're making room for that discomfort. And then 925 00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:06,160 Speaker 3: on the outbreath, releasing the toes, letting go, letting go 926 00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:13,480 Speaker 3: of any tension in the toes. And then on the 927 00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,800 Speaker 3: next in breath, we're going to tense the muscles in 928 00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:19,279 Speaker 3: the feet and ankles and maybe the calves, So breathing in, 929 00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:24,359 Speaker 3: squeezing the feet, squeezing the calves, noticing the tension, breathing in, 930 00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:30,000 Speaker 3: hold that tension, notice the tension that resides there. And 931 00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:33,600 Speaker 3: then on the outbreath length and in the outbreath, as 932 00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:37,279 Speaker 3: you'll let go, as you let your feet melt into 933 00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:44,600 Speaker 3: the floor, breathing naturally for a moment, just savoring any 934 00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:50,320 Speaker 3: nice feelings of letting go or relaxation, and also making 935 00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:54,319 Speaker 3: room for any residual tension that might be there. Seeing 936 00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:56,640 Speaker 3: if you can hold that in your awareness to without 937 00:46:56,680 --> 00:47:03,239 Speaker 3: being frazzled by it or worried by it. Moving up 938 00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:05,279 Speaker 3: further in the legs. Now, on the in breath, I 939 00:47:05,320 --> 00:47:10,600 Speaker 3: want you to tense your thigh muscles, breathing in, bueling 940 00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,319 Speaker 3: the tension in the thighs and the back of the legs, 941 00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:17,839 Speaker 3: and on the out breath, letting go, letting the weight 942 00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:22,080 Speaker 3: of gravity, naturally pull your legs down into the chair 943 00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:29,279 Speaker 3: and into the ground, and just scanning your legs and 944 00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:32,600 Speaker 3: feet as a whole, noticing any residual tension, seeing if 945 00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:36,879 Speaker 3: on each out breath you can let go a little 946 00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:51,080 Speaker 3: bit further, and then on your next in breath, whenever 947 00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:53,560 Speaker 3: it feels right for you. Breathing in, we're gonna tense 948 00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:56,799 Speaker 3: the abdominal muscles and squeeze the butt cheeks. Are breathing in, 949 00:47:56,960 --> 00:48:02,480 Speaker 3: squeezing the butt cheeks, tensing the abdominal muscles, noticing the tension, 950 00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:06,000 Speaker 3: making some room for that discomfort. And then on the 951 00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:10,960 Speaker 3: our breath, letting go, letting the glutes relax, letting the 952 00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:17,560 Speaker 3: abdominal muscles relax. A lot of us unconsciously squeeze our 953 00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:20,280 Speaker 3: abs during the day or suck our tummies in, giving 954 00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:25,080 Speaker 3: yourself a moment to just let all that go, letting 955 00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:32,280 Speaker 3: it soften, letting it relax, savoring any good feelings that arise, 956 00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:35,799 Speaker 3: and making room for any difficult feelings, knowing that you 957 00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:38,200 Speaker 3: can have both in your awareness at any one time. 958 00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:46,680 Speaker 3: Breathing in again, we're going to tense the shoulders, raising 959 00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:50,920 Speaker 3: the shoulders up on the inn breath, squeezing the peck muscles, 960 00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:54,640 Speaker 3: tensing the arms, that whole sort of upper region, noticing 961 00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:59,800 Speaker 3: the tension again, feeling it, and on the our breath 962 00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:04,480 Speaker 3: go letting it all soften, maybe rolling your shoulders around 963 00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:11,080 Speaker 3: the beauty, if that feels good for you, and feeling 964 00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:16,280 Speaker 3: that pull of gravity that's sinking, that relaxing feeling as 965 00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:29,960 Speaker 3: the muscles start dropping that effort, that unnecessary work. And 966 00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:32,799 Speaker 3: then when you're ready, on the next in breath, we're 967 00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:35,359 Speaker 3: going to squeeze the muscles in our hands and making 968 00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:41,520 Speaker 3: little fist breathing in, squeezing the hands, noticing the tension 969 00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:44,480 Speaker 3: in the hands, and then on the out breath, just 970 00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:49,800 Speaker 3: letting their fingers uncurl, letting the muscles and the hands relax, 971 00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:55,000 Speaker 3: maybe noticing if there's any tension or discomfort or achiness 972 00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:57,880 Speaker 3: in the joints, seeing if you can make room for 973 00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:03,160 Speaker 3: that too, and again savoring any pleasant feeling of letting go. 974 00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:15,880 Speaker 3: Breathing in again, and we're going to tense the muscles 975 00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:18,600 Speaker 3: in the face again, and the neck and the shoulders, 976 00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:24,560 Speaker 3: anything in the upper body, breathing in, scrunching the eyebrows, 977 00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:29,760 Speaker 3: quenching the jaw, feeling that tension and then as you breathe, 978 00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:40,360 Speaker 3: our just letting all that tension go, feeling the tension 979 00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:49,840 Speaker 3: and letting go savoring any pleasant feelings that our eyes. 980 00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:58,439 Speaker 3: So that concludes the first part of the exercise, where 981 00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:01,600 Speaker 3: we prepare our bodies and minds for meditation by softening 982 00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:04,960 Speaker 3: our muscles. Now we're going to harness our power of 983 00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:11,480 Speaker 3: attention by drawing our awareness to our breathing. So just 984 00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:14,560 Speaker 3: noticing a spot in the body where you feel your 985 00:51:14,560 --> 00:51:17,960 Speaker 3: own breath most easily. Might be the tip of the nose, 986 00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:23,200 Speaker 3: It might be the rise and fall of your chest, 987 00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:34,160 Speaker 3: it might be the rise and fall of your belly. 988 00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:42,000 Speaker 3: Picking a spot where you notice it most distinctly. Some 989 00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:45,440 Speaker 3: people might even want to open their eyes and have 990 00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:48,200 Speaker 3: a look at their belly rising and falling, if that's easier. 991 00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:52,440 Speaker 3: If you have trouble staying present with internal sensations, that's 992 00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:58,840 Speaker 3: okay too. And then just holding your attention there, just 993 00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:08,680 Speaker 3: for one breath, just noticing the rise and fall of 994 00:52:08,719 --> 00:52:12,279 Speaker 3: the breath in your body, each distinct physical sensation that 995 00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:18,760 Speaker 3: occurs as the breath comes in and the breath goes out. 996 00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:24,680 Speaker 3: Just one breath, And if you're like me and many 997 00:52:24,719 --> 00:52:28,320 Speaker 3: other people who are new to meditation, you might notice 998 00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:31,600 Speaker 3: already that your mind has wandered many times. It's been 999 00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:33,960 Speaker 3: pulled in all sorts of different directions. If you notice 1000 00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:39,280 Speaker 3: that happening, that's awesome. That's mindfulness. Noticing that your mind's 1001 00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:43,280 Speaker 3: being pulled away, and then gently returning the focus back 1002 00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:52,600 Speaker 3: to your breathing, taking one breath more in and out, 1003 00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:59,000 Speaker 3: staying with the physical sensation of breathing, anchoring your attention there. 1004 00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:05,279 Speaker 3: Hold your attention there gently, there's no need to force it, 1005 00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:08,279 Speaker 3: make room for other feelings that come up, make room 1006 00:53:08,320 --> 00:53:11,879 Speaker 3: for thoughts that appear, and gently steer your awareness back 1007 00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:18,799 Speaker 3: to the breath. Every time we our mind wanders and 1008 00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:21,359 Speaker 3: we return our focus, it's like a little bicep curl 1009 00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:25,080 Speaker 3: for our attention muscle, or our meditation muscle. That's actually 1010 00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:28,719 Speaker 3: where the strengthening occurs. The more we repeat the process 1011 00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:33,719 Speaker 3: of bringing our attention back to the breath, the stronger 1012 00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:37,680 Speaker 3: our attention gets. Then that's part of the process of meditation, 1013 00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:43,480 Speaker 3: is strengthening our attention. But we do so gently and 1014 00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:47,400 Speaker 3: with kindness, knowing that our mind is designed to often wander, 1015 00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:56,280 Speaker 3: and that's okay. So just taking a few easy breaths 1016 00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:59,760 Speaker 3: on your own. Now, maybe you might like to pause 1017 00:53:59,800 --> 00:54:02,400 Speaker 3: this recording and spend a bit of time just staying 1018 00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:08,239 Speaker 3: with the breath, but otherwise that concludes our introduction to 1019 00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:10,640 Speaker 3: how to meditate, and now it's up to you to 1020 00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:14,000 Speaker 3: practice on your own. In the next few episodes, will 1021 00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:17,240 Speaker 3: have other meditations available for you to try that build 1022 00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:21,640 Speaker 3: on this initial practice, and I'd love to hear how 1023 00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:25,080 Speaker 3: you go with those. Thanks very much for listening.