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Speaker 1: One of the things that I've loved about our journey

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Speaker 1: together is just that acknowledgment that if we're not happy

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Speaker 1: with something, we're the only ones who can change it.

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Speaker 1: It's a happy Family's podcast, the podcast for the time

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Speaker 1: poor parent he yes wants answers Now.

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Speaker 2: It's the happy family's podcast, the podcast for the time

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Speaker 2: poor parent who just wants answers now. I'm not supposed

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Speaker 2: to say that we've got our kids saying that, now

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Speaker 2: we do. They're so gorgeous. Hello. My name is doctor

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Speaker 2: Justin Colson. I'm the author of six books about raising

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Speaker 2: happy families, and I'm here with my wife, my co host,

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Speaker 2: my podcast partner, and my pretty much the favorite person

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Speaker 2: in all the world, the one person that I would

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Speaker 2: you're shaking your head while I'm saying, it's a long intro.

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Speaker 2: Can't you you say, my wife, you're deserving of that intro,

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Speaker 2: aren't you? Missus? Happy families? Kylie, I love that.

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Speaker 1: You've got so many, you know, descriptive words for me.

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Speaker 2: But I'm happy with wife. Do you think that, I mean,

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Speaker 2: maybe we're stretching the friendship too far with our podcast

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Speaker 2: listeners right now. But I've got a pet name for you.

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Speaker 2: Should I mention that one or do you think that

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Speaker 2: I should keep that too? Just between you and I,

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Speaker 2: we can keep that just fine. Let's just move on

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Speaker 2: with the podcast. I'm sorry for raising it in my telephone.

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Speaker 2: When I get a telephone call my phone, I'm going

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Speaker 2: to bring up here. Yeah, I'm going to do it.

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Speaker 2: I know I said I wouldn't, but you can't leave

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Speaker 2: people hanging like that, you know. Instead of it saying Kylie,

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Speaker 2: it's I cap fine, I won't say it. Maybe made

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Speaker 2: such a tease. Maybe when you feel more comfortable with

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Speaker 2: me sharing that, I can.

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Speaker 1: Well, let's just say I wanted to get a number

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Speaker 1: plate that had the acronym for this wonderful name.

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Speaker 2: I don't think the acronym is going to sound very good.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't work because it's actually b das.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, b das yeah.

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Speaker 1: And I get the impression that people will kind of

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Speaker 1: read that wrong.

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Speaker 2: I mean, there's nothing wrong with it. So okay, Well,

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Speaker 2: we've gone this far into the podcast already. Kylie's pet

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Speaker 2: name for how long? Twenty years, fifteen years, something like that.

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Speaker 2: We've been married since the late nineteen nineties, so we're

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Speaker 2: up for like twenty two twenty three years of marriage. Now,

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Speaker 2: very early in our marriage, I just had all these

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Speaker 2: different pet names, and one day I canbined them all

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Speaker 2: and Kylie all of them. There was probably a few

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Speaker 2: that I missed out on. But the acronym is bd

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Speaker 2: AS for beautiful Darling Angel Sweetheart, which is there, you go.

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Speaker 2: It's out there in the world. People know it now.

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Speaker 2: And so when my phone rings every now and again,

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Speaker 2: it'll just say, my beautiful darling angel sweetheart is calling me.

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Speaker 2: And I pick up the phone with a smile every

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Speaker 2: time because I feel so good about that. Is that

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Speaker 2: okay with you? That's okay? Flash flashback to some feedback

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Speaker 2: from the nieces who have been listening to our podcast.

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Speaker 2: We've just gone too far, haven't we. We've just been

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Speaker 2: all lovey dovey. You know. I can see them rolling

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Speaker 2: their eyes. That's probably a really great segue actually into

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Speaker 2: some feedback that we got on the podcast we did

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Speaker 2: from Maureen, who sent an email through I might read

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Speaker 2: this because it's a bit about you. Oh and it

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Speaker 2: feels funny if you're reading feedback about you. Oh, is

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Speaker 2: that right? This is what Maureen said. She said, I

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Speaker 2: want to give you some feedback I'm a mom to

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Speaker 2: two teenagers, a thirteen and a half year old girl

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Speaker 2: and a fifteen year old boy. And she said, kind

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Speaker 2: of random this feedback, but here it is. One of

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Speaker 2: the most appealing things about the podcast to me is

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Speaker 2: Kylie's voice.

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Speaker 1: That's so crazy. It's so crazy. My mum would agree

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Speaker 1: with you. Maybe she's been talking to you.

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Speaker 2: Maybe Maureen is your mum. Maybe she's set up another

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Speaker 2: email address. Maureen says, I could listen to Kylie speak

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Speaker 2: all day. Her voice is very soothing, and I think

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Speaker 2: makes the listener really lean into what she's saying. That's

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Speaker 2: so sweet, isn't it? That really is that makes me

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Speaker 2: feel happy? And then Maureen adds this. She says, I've

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Speaker 2: got some thoughts on a recent episode. I kind of

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Speaker 2: had to laugh but not laugh. The other day when

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Speaker 2: I listened to the Ultimate Parenting Triggers episode, Maureen says,

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Speaker 2: I realized the actual subject was about what the triggers

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Speaker 2: are that makes these ringside events happen. But geez, if

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Speaker 2: that's a bad morning in your house, you would be

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Speaker 2: horrified to witness a bad morning in mine. And then

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Speaker 2: she talks about these two teenager boy and girl who

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Speaker 2: are bumping into each other and having their moments highlights

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Speaker 2: that it's maddening and exhausting and says, you guys are

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Speaker 2: clearly living this charmed life. She said it beautifully. Maureen's

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Speaker 2: not giving us a hard time at all. But I

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Speaker 2: started thinking about that, and I thought, maybe we haven't

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Speaker 2: been clear enough in the old do Better Tomorrow episodes

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Speaker 2: about just how much we get it wrong. Do we

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Speaker 2: have to Well, we don't have to do anything, but

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Speaker 2: I just thought today it might be worth highlighting a

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Speaker 2: couple of things.

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Speaker 1: And you know, it's interesting as I listened to that

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Speaker 1: feedback from Wuring, We've had a couple of conversations like

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Speaker 1: that from different people over the couple of last couple

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Speaker 1: of weeks since I've joined you, And what stands out

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Speaker 1: to me the most is that this has been a

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Speaker 1: journey for you and me. We've been together now, like

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Speaker 1: you said, for just over twenty odd years, and when

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Speaker 1: we started out on this journey together, we were pretty

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Speaker 1: pretty bad it all.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean the story that I tell at

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Speaker 2: the start of my book twenty one Days to a

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Speaker 2: Happier Family highlights just how bad it was. I mean,

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Speaker 2: you and I sat down after I had a really

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Speaker 2: bad moment with the kids, well, with Chanelle, our eldest.

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Speaker 2: She was only two or three at the time, and

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Speaker 2: I completely lost the plot. And that was where we

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Speaker 2: sort of decided, maybe I need to do something I

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Speaker 2: was concerning, and you weren't happy with the way I

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Speaker 2: was behaving as a husband or as a father, and

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Speaker 2: you kind of made that pretty clear to me. And

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Speaker 2: we've made mistake after mistake after mistake over the last

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Speaker 2: twenty years. It's just that as we've gotten older and wiser,

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Speaker 2: we've been super intentional about trying to get better. So

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Speaker 2: when people are watching or listening to what we're saying

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Speaker 2: about how we are today, please don't think that we've

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Speaker 2: always been like that. Like we've still got a long

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Speaker 2: way to go anyway, but we have not always been.

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Speaker 1: Like that well, and I think that it's proof that

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Speaker 1: we all are evolving and that we're changed. And you know,

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Speaker 1: if we're not, then what can we do about that.

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Speaker 1: I think that one of the things that I've loved

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Speaker 1: about our journey together is just that acknowledgment that if

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Speaker 1: we're not happy with something, we're the only ones who

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Speaker 1: can change it, and that process is a process it's

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Speaker 1: a journey and it takes time, and you're going to

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Speaker 1: slip up along the way multiple times. But having you know,

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Speaker 1: these skills in our toolbox to help us be better

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Speaker 1: gives us hope that tomorrow we can actually have a

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Speaker 1: better day.

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Speaker 2: And it's the purpose of the podcast, right it's a

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Speaker 2: hope building podcast. I reckon so often people will say,

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Speaker 2: I just, I just want it to be better now,

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Speaker 2: Like I just, but you can't compress time. Time has

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Speaker 2: to take its time, and you've there is no pill.

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Speaker 2: It's a process.

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Speaker 1: And sometimes you hear something and you think, you know, oh,

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Speaker 1: you know that that sounds awesome, and when you try

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Speaker 1: it it doesn't work. But the process is, you know,

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Speaker 1: increment by increment, learning as you go, and it's through

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Speaker 1: those challenges and tough times and getting it wrong that

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Speaker 1: sometimes that lessons actually click a lot better.

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Speaker 2: That's where you grow. There's been so we've got these

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Speaker 2: Happy Families memberships that people are paying you the twelve

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Speaker 2: dollars a month or seventeen dollars a month for depending

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Speaker 2: on if you're a member or a premium member, or

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Speaker 2: the infos at Happy families dot com dot IU not

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Speaker 2: sharing that as a plug so much is to highlight

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Speaker 2: that this is a process. And we had one member.

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Speaker 2: I won't mention this member's name, but she joined up

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Speaker 2: towards the beginning of our Happy Families memberships, and it

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Speaker 2: was really clear. She was quite explicit with us about

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Speaker 2: how hard family life was and how much she was

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Speaker 2: getting it wrong, and how she felt like she was

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Speaker 2: a lost cause. And it's been maybe three or four months,

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Speaker 2: but this particular member has been really engaged at a

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Speaker 2: level that very few members have. She's absolutely said, if

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Speaker 2: I'm paying this seventeen dollars a month, I'm going to

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Speaker 2: get every single sense worth that I can out of it.

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Speaker 2: And we've seen this shift, haven't we received She's seen

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Speaker 2: this huge shift as she's gone through a painful process,

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Speaker 2: and there's been a few times where she said, I

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Speaker 2: can't do it anymore. It's too hard, I can't make

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Speaker 2: my family happy. And recently we've had this engagement with

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Speaker 2: her where she's like, not only is it making my

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Speaker 2: family happy, but I've brought my friend into the membership

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Speaker 2: because she wants to have a happy family like mine.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's transformational, but it takes time, and it's

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Speaker 2: normally not eight weeks or sixteen weeks. It's normally a

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Speaker 2: lot longer, and I'm sure that this person will have

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Speaker 2: plenty of troughs and valleys before climbing new mountains. But

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Speaker 2: that's kind of it, right. That's why we have this

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Speaker 2: segment called I'll do Better Tomorrow, because for the last

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Speaker 2: twenty years you and I have been saying I got

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Speaker 2: that wrong. I'll do better tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: So maybe after the break we can kind of share

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Speaker 1: a couple of things that we probably need to work

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Speaker 1: on a little bit. Next week, it's the Happy Famili's

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Speaker 1: podcat for.

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Speaker 2: A happier family. Try a Happy Families membership, because a

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Speaker 2: happy family doesn't just happen. Details at happy families dot

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Speaker 2: com a It's the Happy Family's podcast, the podcast for

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Speaker 2: the time poor parent who just wants answers. Now we're

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Speaker 2: talking about I'll do better tomorrow, and I've got to

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Speaker 2: confess I absolutely blew it. Last Sunday. You know, Sunday's

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Speaker 2: the day of rest. It's the day where we're supposed

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Speaker 2: to have good quality family time. And I can't remember when,

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Speaker 2: but some sort of sometime around mid morning, I stepped

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Speaker 2: into the living room with a couple of games under

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Speaker 2: my arms. I said, all right, kids, it's games time

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Speaker 2: and we were going to learn a new game. We're

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Speaker 2: going to play some games.

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Speaker 1: Well, see, that's where you went wrong. You set it

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Speaker 1: up so high we had to learn a new game.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I can't remember what happened. I think we

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Speaker 2: got a visitor, unexpected visitor, and all of a sudden,

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Speaker 2: the games sort of went out the window. But we

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Speaker 2: never actually went back to the games for the whole day.

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Speaker 2: I promised the kids a games day and we didn't

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Speaker 2: play an entire game. And I mean, I need to

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Speaker 2: do better. I'll do better tomorrow. That's the purpose of

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Speaker 2: this episode. We still get it wrong. And you know,

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Speaker 2: that day, we had a commitment that evening and we

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Speaker 2: had to prepare for that, and the kids actually kind

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Speaker 2: of out. They certainly missed out on me and my

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Speaker 2: best after making this promise that ended up going unfulfilled.

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Speaker 2: How about you? Can you do better than that in

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Speaker 2: terms of getting things wrong? Oh? I can do way

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Speaker 2: better than that.

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Speaker 1: This week, So this week has been a pretty it's

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Speaker 1: been an emotional rollercoaster for me.

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Speaker 2: This week.

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Speaker 1: I've I've really struggled with keeping my emotions in check and.

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Speaker 2: Can I just jump in. I think I know where

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Speaker 2: you're going. Can I suggest that you've struggled to keep

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Speaker 2: your emotions in check because you haven't been able to

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Speaker 2: keep your hormones in check? Can I say that without

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Speaker 2: getting punched?

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Speaker 1: I think sometimes I think sometimes people kind of think

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Speaker 1: hormones is just an excuse. But as I'm getting older,

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Speaker 1: I am recognizing that hormones are playing a huge part

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Speaker 1: in I guess my emotional wellbeing.

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Speaker 2: For three or four days a month, only.

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Speaker 1: For three or four days, but that three or four

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Speaker 1: days feels like a really scary ride.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes it's been a rough week.

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Speaker 1: It has been, and I think the hardest thing is

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Speaker 1: being kind to myself when I'm in that space.

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Speaker 2: Would you be kind to us as well?

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Speaker 1: You're really starting I'm sorry, being kind to myself and

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Speaker 1: just recognizing that this isn't how it's always going to be.

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Speaker 1: I think sometimes it's really easy to shouldn't Like you're

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Speaker 1: sitting on the other side of the room right now.

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Speaker 1: And so the big challenge for me this week is

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Speaker 1: just kind of being able to receive feedback that might

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Speaker 1: come my way with acceptance. That's been tricky. One of

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Speaker 1: the things that I have loved in this journey that

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Speaker 1: we've taken together is seeing I guess your ability is

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Speaker 1: my husband to evolve through that process with me. And

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Speaker 1: in the early days it was pretty messy. We really

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Speaker 1: kind of butted heads in that kind of hormonal space

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Speaker 1: because you just had no clue.

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Speaker 2: You really didn't.

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Speaker 1: You didn't have a clue what was going on. You

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Speaker 1: were so caught up in wanting to fix the problem,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't think I needed to be fixed.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I also kind of wanted to blame you.

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Speaker 2: In fact, we should do an entire podcast episode about this,

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Speaker 2: if you're willing to go there.

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Speaker 1: Because I'd take one for the team.

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Speaker 2: Ladies. Well, I wanted to blame you though, because I

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Speaker 2: wanted to just say, well, it's in your head, you know, like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: sure it might be hormones, but just push through it,

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Speaker 2: Like stop letting your hormones determine whether you're going to

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Speaker 2: be nice to me or nice to our children. And

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Speaker 2: I think to sort of round out, at least as

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Speaker 2: part of the story. Over the last however, many months, years, whatever,

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Speaker 2: it's been my acceptance that this is just going to

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Speaker 2: be a really rough ride for a few days has

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Speaker 2: actually helped you to get through it much better, would

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Speaker 2: that be fair to say? Very much? So?

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Speaker 1: I think that you know, knowing that I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to receive any resistance from you or pressure to just

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Speaker 1: pick myself up and move forward, and receiving just acceptance

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Speaker 1: that this is where I'm at right now and it's okay.

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Speaker 2: So now you're making it sound like we're perfect again,

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Speaker 2: but we're not. It hasn't been a great week.

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Speaker 1: Let's be honest, it's been a really tough week.

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Speaker 2: So Maureen, there you go. I hope that satisfies you

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Speaker 2: and helps you to realize that even the happy family's

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Speaker 2: family have our moments from time to time, whether it's

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Speaker 2: just not fulfilling the promise of playing the board games

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Speaker 2: on Sunday or some other monthly menstrual mania that happens

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Speaker 2: to our family.

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Speaker 1: Amia, are you making this really big?

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Speaker 2: Now? Hey, we really appreciate you listening to the podcast.

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Speaker 2: We hope that it brings you some joy and gives

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Speaker 2: you some hope and a sense that your family can

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Speaker 2: be happy even when things aren't quite right. If you

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Speaker 2: do enjoy the podcast, please leave us a rating and review.

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Speaker 2: makes a difference for helping other people to find out

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Speaker 2: about the podcast. We'll share a few of them in

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Speaker 2: the next couple of days, and please share your feedback.

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Speaker 2: Email podcasts with an s podcasts at happy families dot

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Speaker 2: com dot au. The Happy Families podcast is produced by

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Speaker 2: Justin Roulin and our executive producer is Craig Bruce. If

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Speaker 2: you'd like more info about how we can make your

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Speaker 2: family happier and then maybe even join the Happy Families family,

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Speaker 2: go to happy families dot com dot you and click

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Speaker 2: on Memberships, or you can follow us on Facebook at

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Speaker 2: doctor Justin Coulson's Happy Families