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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just

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Speaker 2: wants answers Now. Strict parenting for us is around responsibilities

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Speaker 2: and it's around correction. Can you just chill if you

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Speaker 2: had a problem, you can go to your room for

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Speaker 2: a while. Okay.

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Speaker 3: We'd like to raise our children to respect authority.

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Speaker 2: We've chose to parent in the strict parenting model because

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Speaker 2: a little bit like a railway train, when the railway

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Speaker 2: trains on the tracks, it's actually working the best way

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Speaker 2: that's made to work well.

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Speaker 4: Parental Guidance is no longer on the telly, but there's

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Speaker 4: still plenty to unpack from it. This is doctor Justin Coulson,

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Speaker 4: the co host and parenting expert on the channel Line

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Speaker 4: TV show at Parental Guidance. I'm here with Kylie, my wife,

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Speaker 4: mum to our six kids, and Kylie, we've just had

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Speaker 4: so much fun over the last few days talking with

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Speaker 4: the parents from Parental Guidance about their experience. Who we've

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Speaker 4: got today.

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Speaker 1: We have got Andrew and Miriam joining us today and

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Speaker 1: I can't wait to have a conversation with them.

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Speaker 4: About strict parenting or just parents generally.

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Speaker 1: Just parenting in general and their experience from the show

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Speaker 1: and what they learned.

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Speaker 4: Andrew Miriam, thanks so much for joining us on the

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Speaker 4: Happy Families podcasts.

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Speaker 2: No worries about to be What did.

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Speaker 1: You hope to gain from being on the show.

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Speaker 2: We were on the show with a real desire to

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Speaker 2: be part of a national conversation about parenting. We know

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Speaker 2: the importance of parenting. Sadly, kids don't come with a guidebook,

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Speaker 2: do they, So we know how important it is, and

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Speaker 2: we knew the importance of having a national conversation. We

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Speaker 2: thought we had things to learn, but also things to

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Speaker 2: contribute to that conversation.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we're really excited to be part of something that

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Speaker 3: was going to put conversations about parenting into every household

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Speaker 3: across the country, and just the tremendous learnings that we

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Speaker 3: hoped would come out of that as people picked up

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Speaker 3: new things, thought about why they parent the way they parent.

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Speaker 3: You know, those conversations are so useful, and often they're

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Speaker 3: not the normal conversations you have at a barbecue, but

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Speaker 3: so important to.

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Speaker 1: Have holding a mirror up to your own parenting on

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Speaker 1: national TV would have to be one of the most

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Speaker 1: courageous things I can think any parent could do, and

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Speaker 1: you guys have Actually you've come out of the show

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Speaker 1: with your heads held high and your kids are such

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Speaker 1: a real credit to you. That were just beautiful. We

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Speaker 1: got to see so many different experience Is that one

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Speaker 1: with Timothy on the wall? Oh my goodness, you had

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Speaker 1: my heart right there. What courageous and brave little boy

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Speaker 1: you're raising.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's definitely a very challenging, vulnerable thing to see

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Speaker 3: that mirror in front of yourself as your parenting.

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Speaker 2: But we are just.

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Speaker 3: So proud of our three children and the way that

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Speaker 3: they have participated in the show, gone with the ups

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Speaker 3: and downs, no matter what's been happening, their willingness to

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Speaker 3: try and do their best, they've been amazing.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. I've had a few experiences where my kids, because

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Speaker 4: our kids are older than yours. We've got these six

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Speaker 4: kids age from sort of early twenties, mid twenties down

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Speaker 4: to seven, and I've had these experiences where the kids

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Speaker 4: will they'll pull out their mobile phone. They'll be recording

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Speaker 4: what's happening around the dinner table or what's happening in

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Speaker 4: the kitchen, like literally nothing's going on, but they're recording

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Speaker 4: because they're kids and They're always recording stuff, right, just

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Speaker 4: in case something happens, and maybe I'm not aware of that.

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Speaker 4: And so I'll walk into the kitchen and I'll say something,

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Speaker 4: and then thirty seconds later, I hear it being played

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Speaker 4: back on their phone because they've recorded it, and I

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Speaker 4: hear my tone, and I'm always surprised. I don't realize

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Speaker 4: what my tone is. Sometimes I don't come across quite

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Speaker 4: as nicely as I think I'm coming across. Did you

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Speaker 4: find as you were watching yourself on the TV? You

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Speaker 4: were like, do I really sound like that? Did I

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Speaker 4: really say that? Is that how we actually interacted with

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Speaker 4: the kids there? Did you find that mirror that replaying

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Speaker 4: of your activities confronting at any time?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, certainly, And it certainly makes you think and gives

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Speaker 2: you a new insight to yourself, and that's not always pretty.

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Speaker 2: But one of the great things from it was that

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Speaker 2: it was an incredible opportunity to learn. And you know,

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Speaker 2: we're the lucky ones because we had that experience, and

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Speaker 2: I think we're better pe it's coming out of the

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Speaker 2: show for it, So you know what an opportunity that's

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Speaker 2: been for us.

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Speaker 3: I mean, the thing about parenting is it's a constant journey.

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Speaker 3: You never reached an all knowing point, and even if

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Speaker 3: you did, then your children grow and change and then

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Speaker 3: you're back to not knowing it all again. It's a

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Speaker 3: constant process of learning and changing as the children grow.

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Speaker 2: And it's so true. And one thing that we value

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Speaker 2: as a family is humility. Not that we always get

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Speaker 2: it right, but that idea of if you can take

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Speaker 2: a humble approach, you're able to learn and not feel

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Speaker 2: like you've gotten all together or have all the answers.

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Speaker 2: And as soon as you move into an arrogant space

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Speaker 2: and pairting, I think you've moved into the wrong space

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Speaker 2: because you're always growing, you're always learning, and it helps

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Speaker 2: keep you in the right frame of mind.

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Speaker 4: And children are good for helping to keep you humble.

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Speaker 4: Well after the break, we're going to find out how

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Speaker 4: parental guidance has affected Andrew Miriam's parenting, who their biggest

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Speaker 4: teachers were on the show, and how the show has

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Speaker 4: strengthened their family. It's the Happy Families Podcast with Justin

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Speaker 4: and Kylee. It's their Happy Famili's podcast.

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Speaker 2: For a happier family, Try a Happy Families membership, because

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Speaker 2: a happy family doesn't just happen details at happy families

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Speaker 2: dot com dot au.

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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time

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Speaker 1: poor parent who just wants answers now. And today we're

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Speaker 1: talking with superstars Andrew and Miriam from Parental Guide Comply.

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Speaker 4: We're talking with real people on the real TV. It's amazing.

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Speaker 1: How did the kids feel about themselves being on TV?

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Speaker 1: I mean, now that it's aired and they've actually watched

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Speaker 1: back on those experiences and relived them through a totally

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Speaker 1: different lens, how are they feeling about it?

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Speaker 3: They're probably a mixture. They're really excited to have seen

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Speaker 3: themselves on TV. And we've been watching together as a family,

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Speaker 3: and we've been inviting some of the kids friends families

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Speaker 3: to come and watch with us on different nights, and

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Speaker 3: that's been a really exciting way to view it. They've

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Speaker 3: definitely had some parts leading up to the airing of

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Speaker 3: certain pieces that they were quite apprehensive about, but we've

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Speaker 3: had some really good help about how to how they

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Speaker 3: could then have conversations about those parts with their friends afterwards,

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Speaker 3: and so that help really has enabled them to move

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Speaker 3: through those things without any significant issues. Really.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's nice, that's great.

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Speaker 1: How has it affected your parenting overall?

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Speaker 3: I think overall it's helped me to see in certain

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Speaker 3: areas where I need to loosen the reins a bit

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Speaker 3: and do things a bit differently. Particularly for Timothy, our youngest,

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Speaker 3: I feel that potentially I haven't given him as much

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Speaker 3: freedom as the older children have had, and I've a

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Speaker 3: few times thought to myself, I need to just give

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Speaker 3: him more freedom, give him a bit more room to explore,

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Speaker 3: to be independent. And so it's been a bit of

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Speaker 3: a stretch for me sometimes, but I've been doing that,

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Speaker 3: allowing him to get out and do some things on

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Speaker 3: his own that previously he hadn't had those opportunities to do.

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Speaker 2: And for me, I have really benefited from the idea

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Speaker 2: that having a parent in gearbox and acknowledging that. I think.

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Speaker 2: I think every style has a role to play in

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Speaker 2: the family if they're used in the right way at

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Speaker 2: the right time. And so thinking about what is the

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Speaker 2: best parenting style that I need right now for my

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Speaker 2: child that is appropriate in our family, it's appropriate for

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Speaker 2: their age, and so giving myself freedom not to be

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Speaker 2: to be constrained by one style, and maybe we have

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Speaker 2: a more of a strict flavor, but that doesn't mean

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Speaker 2: we can't benefit from the other styles at times, you know,

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Speaker 2: helping kids connect with nature, which we do anyway, but

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Speaker 2: just even doing more of that sometimes at times moving

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Speaker 2: into a free range gear we're giving the child freedom

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Speaker 2: to choose and to set their own limits is really

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Speaker 2: helpful at times. I think, particularly with toddlers, it's right

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Speaker 2: to be a helicopter parent for their own safety. You've

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Speaker 2: been right there, so as I've thought about it, it's

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Speaker 2: helping to reach my own parenting and not just narrowly

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Speaker 2: see myself as a strict parent, but actually benefit from

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Speaker 2: a whole range of parenting styles which we can pick

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Speaker 2: and choose from it as we need to.

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Speaker 4: I love how thoughtful you are about this. Let me

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Speaker 4: ask one quick question. When you think about all the

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Speaker 4: different styles that you purchased, My question, Oh, come on, really,

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Speaker 4: we're going to say the same thing.

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Speaker 1: I was just thinking as Andrew was talking, just this

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Speaker 1: acknowledgment that there's no absolutes. We don't have to be

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Speaker 1: stuck in this sense that I am this person or

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Speaker 1: I am this parent.

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Speaker 4: The TV show, it makes sense that we've got different

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Speaker 4: parenting styles, but we all adapt to context.

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Speaker 1: And I just I love that acknowledgment that we can

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Speaker 1: have a bit of everything in our toolkit and it

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Speaker 1: comes out at appropriate time.

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Speaker 4: So, well, that wasn't exactly what I was going to

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Speaker 4: I know you weren't.

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Speaker 1: I'm just prefacing so you can now answer that ask

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Speaker 1: the question, all right, Well.

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Speaker 4: The question was going to be if there was one family,

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Speaker 4: and I know you could probably say something wonderful about

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Speaker 4: all ten of the parenting styles that we saw, but

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Speaker 4: if there was one parenting style or one couple who

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Speaker 4: really influenced you and impacted the way that you're now

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Speaker 4: engaging with the children that you hadn't previously been engaging

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Speaker 4: with them in that way, Which couple or which family,

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Speaker 4: which parenting style was the one that was potentially most

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Speaker 4: influential for you in the evolution of your parenting thinking

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Speaker 4: to date.

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Speaker 1: What he really wants to know, guys, is who is

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Speaker 1: your favorite?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 3: I think they're different answers to those two questions questions. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I can't even answer your specifically justin The thing I

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Speaker 3: would say is that the attachment style of parenting is

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Speaker 3: something that I'd never heard of before, So it was

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Speaker 3: a completely new way of parenting that I had no

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Speaker 3: knowledge of before, right, So I have found myself thinking

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Speaker 3: at times, you know, if I was parenting in that style,

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Speaker 3: like what would I do in this situation? So that

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Speaker 3: has been influential to me because I'm sort of thinking, oh, like,

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Speaker 3: what would you do if you were parenting from this

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Speaker 3: kind of position. So it's given me opportunities to think

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Speaker 3: about things from a different perspective.

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Speaker 2: The other.

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Speaker 3: Parenting style is probably more the free range, which I

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Speaker 3: would say that to some extent, we already had elements

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Speaker 3: of that in the way we parent, but that particularly

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Speaker 3: with Timothy, I've found more opportunities to just go he

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Speaker 3: needs a bit more free range, you know, and he's

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Speaker 3: had some opportunities to get out and ride his bike

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Speaker 3: on his own, which we hadn't done with him previously.

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Speaker 3: So I'd say those two styles have brought some helpful

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Speaker 3: elements into the way we're parenting now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, i'd probably agree. Yeah, just I think the attaching

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Speaker 2: parents again with some ideas I hadn't heard before, And

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Speaker 2: there's some really helpful ideas there around connecting with the

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Speaker 2: old and you addressing the engaging with the emotion and

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Speaker 2: not need to try and fix the emotion. But just

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Speaker 2: engaging with them. That's a really helpful idea, and particularly

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Speaker 2: the ideas of you know, not this wasn't particularly unique

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Speaker 2: to the attachment style, but just the idea of you know,

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Speaker 2: you don't parent well, if you flipped your lid, if

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Speaker 2: you if you're if you're not in control of yourself,

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Speaker 2: it's not a good place to be bringing any type

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Speaker 2: of correction or instruction. And so in those sort of sense,

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Speaker 2: you know that the free range parents, you know, they

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Speaker 2: they showed a tremendous capacity not to get worked up

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Speaker 2: or it's upset about things, but just to keep a

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Speaker 2: really level keel. And that's a that's a great thing

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Speaker 2: to do. And I think all parents, if they're really honest,

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Speaker 2: sometimes parenting does get to them. And you know, just

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Speaker 2: to be able to take a chill pill, to to

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Speaker 2: regather themselves and a parent from a good place is

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Speaker 2: a really positive message. And we already have already known,

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Speaker 2: but we've been reminded all Kylie.

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Speaker 4: Did you notice that Andrew Miriam did not say that

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Speaker 4: they took the idea of homeschooling to heart, that kids

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Speaker 4: are still going to school.

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Speaker 3: I actually have really really loved at the time that

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Speaker 3: we've had our school at home, which Dev was very

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Speaker 3: careful to make sure we understood there was a difference

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Speaker 3: between home school difference. I've loved the school at home time,

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Speaker 3: but it has also come with challenges, and so while

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Speaker 3: I really enjoyed that period, I am glad that the

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Speaker 3: kids are back at school again now.

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Speaker 4: I guess if I was to ask one final question,

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Speaker 4: how would you say that the process, for all of

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Speaker 4: its ups and downs and the challenge and the mirror

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Speaker 4: in front of you, in front of the whole country,

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Speaker 4: that kind of thing, how would you say that it's

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Speaker 4: strengthened your family? Because I can hear undertones and currents

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Speaker 4: of that throughout our entire conversation. But if you were

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Speaker 4: a really zero, what's it done for your family? Has

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Speaker 4: it strengthened it?

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Speaker 3: It's definitely brought about conversations that we wouldn't have had otherwise.

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Speaker 3: You know, we've had some experiences that are so different

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Speaker 3: to normal experiences, and some opportunities for all five of

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Speaker 3: us to look at how we respond to people. You know,

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Speaker 3: what our faces look like when you respond to someone,

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Speaker 3: what the tone of voice is like. And that's given

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Speaker 3: us all opportunities to reflect and think about that more.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess guess that sense of shared experience and

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Speaker 2: adventure together. I think you can look back and remember,

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Speaker 2: I remember that time when Luke Breber Wooden spoon. I

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Speaker 2: wasn't that a crack up? Oh my goodness. And it's

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Speaker 2: that sense of adventure and shared experience and to be

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Speaker 2: able to recollect in the future about that, but also

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Speaker 2: to look back and to grow and to take some

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Speaker 2: of the elements of different pairing styles and incorporate that

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Speaker 2: into what we're doing. We've met people that we wouldn't

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Speaker 2: have met otherwise, and we've learned in ways you wouldn't

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Speaker 2: have learned otherwise because our involvement, and we're really thankful

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Speaker 2: for that.

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Speaker 3: And we've come out at the end of this program

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Speaker 3: with a great new bunch of friends.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, wonderf conversation, wonderful couple. Andrew Mirriam from Parental Guidance,

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Speaker 4: thanks so much for joining us on the Happy Families Podcast.

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Speaker 3: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: I'm good to be here.

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Speaker 4: The Happy Families Podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from

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Speaker 4: Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer. Black Friday

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Speaker 4: Sale This coming Friday, we are going to have so

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Speaker 4: Dr Justin Colson's Happy Families for all the Black Friday info.

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