Speaker 1: Guys, Welcome back to another episode of Life on Cut.
Speaker 2: I'm Brittany and I am Laura, and I was like,
Speaker 2: hold on, I have something that I need to ask
Speaker 2: you before we get into today's episode. Britt, I feel
Speaker 2: like you've got a little bit of explaining to do.
Speaker 1: Oh hang on, what about There's a multitude of things
Speaker 1: that I need to explain.
Speaker 2: Currently, you're making out with a man named Tim on
Speaker 2: our TV all that. Yeah, you wonder, let's talk about it. Surprised,
Speaker 2: How do you feel like a bit portrayed? Are you?
Speaker 2: Are you expecting that? No, not expecting it, Like, very surprised.
Speaker 2: But I loved Tim on Antie season. He was my
Speaker 2: absolute favorite. I was kind of like a little bit
Speaker 2: jilted that Anie didn't choose Tim. So now it's kind
Speaker 2: of weird. It's just weird. It's I feel betrayed that
Speaker 2: you haven't told me all of these things. And I
Speaker 2: know that I know they told you. I didn't want
Speaker 2: to know, and I kind of like put that between us.
Speaker 2: But now that it's happening on TV, and so has
Speaker 2: everybody else who was invested in this podcast, britt on
Speaker 2: our on our Facebook discussion group, a lot of you
Speaker 2: guys are like trying to figure out what has happened,
Speaker 2: and you're all doing the investigation work. I actually saw
Speaker 2: that someone had posted in our Facebook group a photo
Speaker 2: of BRIT's house and a photo from wherever Tim has
Speaker 2: been and was trying to like match the location. They
Speaker 2: were trying to match the timber. It was insane the timber.
Speaker 2: I thought you were making a pun.
Speaker 1: There, Oh, Tim, Tim, They were trying to match the timber.
Speaker 1: I thought that was insane. But I love yeah, the
Speaker 1: I like this blue thing, guys. It's very, very dedicated.
Speaker 2: When Britt went and did Paradise, I made the conscious
Speaker 2: and committed effort that I don't want to know anything
Speaker 2: because I think that that could then compromise our ability
Speaker 2: to do this podcast properly. And part of the rules
Speaker 2: around Britt doing Paradise is that she can't talk about
Speaker 2: it any more than what actually happens on the TV.
Speaker 2: So I didn't want to be then in a position
Speaker 2: where I knew things and it would just be a
Speaker 2: fucking shit sandwich. So we just didn't go there. So
Speaker 2: I'm finding out this stuff at the same time that
Speaker 2: you're finding it out, and it makes me feel just
Speaker 2: as weird as it makes you feel. That's how I
Speaker 2: feel about this anyway. I'm excited about Tim, and I
Speaker 2: know that you can't say a lot more. Yeah, you
Speaker 2: were actually really good.
Speaker 1: And thank you because you didn't put any pressure on
Speaker 1: me because you know that I can't say it, but
Speaker 1: I wanted to. You never asked me, you never drilled
Speaker 1: it into me. So I appreciate that because it's been
Speaker 1: a long long time to keep something like this to yourself. Obviously,
Speaker 1: I can't talk about it. Guys, there are rules. You'll
Speaker 1: have to just follow along and have some fun, but
Speaker 1: I can say there is such a sense of relief
Speaker 1: that we're at least one step closer to I'm almost
Speaker 1: I always want to say freedom, like I can just
Speaker 1: live my life again, because you do have to keep
Speaker 1: your life a secret for a very long time.
Speaker 2: Whether you're with the person or you're not with the person,
Speaker 2: your life gets completely put on whole because you can't
Speaker 2: publicly be like, hey, we're together and we love each other.
Speaker 2: But you also if you aren't together, you can't be like, hey,
Speaker 2: we're not together and I want to go out and
Speaker 2: date and continue my life. You have to almost just
Speaker 2: like you just have to be in this really neutral
Speaker 2: space where your friends and family around you don't actually
Speaker 2: know what's going on in your life, and it really
Speaker 2: makes you put your life on whole, which I don't
Speaker 2: think a lot of people who haven't done the reality
Speaker 2: TV thing, especially the Bachelor thing, would even know that
Speaker 2: that is the case. But everything gets put on whole
Speaker 2: between when filming finishes and when you're actually able to
Speaker 2: be out in the world.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, it's a long, long haul, guys, but it's exciting.
Speaker 1: It's finally happening, I can say, Laura, I was as
Speaker 1: surprised as you. I was very surprised.
Speaker 2: But that's it.
Speaker 1: Guy's come along for the ride. I can't say anything
Speaker 1: else about it.
Speaker 2: And Timothy, if you're listening and you mean to Brittany,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna cut your bloody balls off, is gonna have
Speaker 2: a field day with that. Just in case you're gonna
Speaker 2: write an article about this Daily Mail, please also put
Speaker 2: in there that I said I am joking.
Speaker 1: No one will be harmed, because I realize that is
Speaker 1: called carstration and it is illegal in most countries.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's mine, a dutail, mine, a detail, mine and technicality.
Speaker 2: Moving along, what's been happening in your week. Well, thank
Speaker 2: you for asking. So this week has been a little
Speaker 2: bit interesting. I got the flu, and I feel like
Speaker 2: anybody who gets the flu, now, the first thing you're like,
Speaker 2: it's COVID. I can't leave my house. I can't do anything.
Speaker 2: So I got the flu. Mat got the flu. Marley
Speaker 2: got the flu. Oh gosh, Matt sent me out as
Speaker 2: a sacrificial lamb to go and get COVID tested, per
Speaker 2: heading one for the team. Honey, Yeah, he wouldn't go.
Speaker 2: He wouldn't go. And we had to go down to
Speaker 2: Woollongong on the weekend to go see my nuner for
Speaker 2: her nineteth birthday. And I was like, well, we have
Speaker 2: to go see her, like it's been a big year
Speaker 2: for us, and I couldn't not see her. Obviously. I
Speaker 2: needed to know whether I was like hugely contagious and
Speaker 2: I got this killer virus. So anyway, I had a
Speaker 2: cotton bud shoved into my brain, swabbed around. I'm up
Speaker 2: your nose as far as you can possibly push something.
Speaker 2: It goes into your nose. They swob it around and
Speaker 2: then they pull it out and then they go on
Speaker 2: in and do the second side.
Speaker 1: I haven't had it obviously in the hospital life, I've
Speaker 1: seen it.
Speaker 2: It was the most penetration I've had in a while.
Speaker 2: There she is ladies and gentlemen, there is Laura Burn.
Speaker 2: Oh God, Daily Mail is really going to enjoy this episode.
Speaker 2: So I obviously came back positive. I came back negative.
Speaker 2: I do not have COVID. I went down and saw
Speaker 2: my nun on the weekend. So, like I said, it
Speaker 2: was my nun's ninetieth birthday, which was a really big
Speaker 2: deal for us because my grandfather passed away earlier this
Speaker 2: year and they've been together for sixty seven years since
Speaker 2: since my nan was Wait, I'm gonna be really bad
Speaker 2: at Mass. They've been together since my nan was seventeen,
Speaker 2: and so this was her first birthday without my paper.
Speaker 2: So it was a really happy day, but it was
Speaker 2: also it was also really sad day as well.
Speaker 1: That is huge when you think about it. Do you
Speaker 1: think of being with that one human since you were seventeen.
Speaker 1: You don't know life, you don't remember life without them.
Speaker 2: I mean, this was a podcast topic that we were
Speaker 2: kind of considering for today's episode, but it's not the
Speaker 2: podcast topic that we're doing. But it really got me
Speaker 2: thinking about this idea of loneliness, and I know that
Speaker 2: my nan is feeling lonely. As much as she's surrounded
Speaker 2: by my mom and my auntie, and as much as
Speaker 2: we try and call her and see her as much
Speaker 2: as possible, I really understand that there's like a hole
Speaker 2: now in her life that can't be filled. That I
Speaker 2: think is a topic that we should talk about at
Speaker 2: some point in time. But like I said, it's not
Speaker 2: the topic for today. That was my week, that was
Speaker 2: my weekend. It's been a little bit of sick, a
Speaker 2: little bit of Nan, and now it's a little bit
Speaker 2: of you. I don't know how I feel about that.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: We're all in the same group there. You're putting me
Speaker 1: in with your sickness and you're a down. Hey, come on,
Speaker 1: my name's not that down. But she's very old. It's
Speaker 1: a good trot. Do you know what else is happening
Speaker 1: in my life?
Speaker 2: Guys? Tell her and something that that's really been just
Speaker 2: keeping me up at night. I have a mullet. I
Speaker 2: have a fucking mullet. Well, this happens to a lot
Speaker 2: of people who have children. You lose a lot of
Speaker 2: your hair after giving birth. But what no one tells
Speaker 2: you is when the hair starts to grow back like
Speaker 2: a full on tiger king mullet. I okay, I'm going
Speaker 2: to tell you the Joe exotic and that is who
Speaker 2: I look like. It's not as god I do as
Speaker 2: you feel. I'm gonna be honest. It's there. Can I
Speaker 2: just say it's not as bad as you think. Is
Speaker 2: not good? I'm not here to tell you lies. I'm
Speaker 2: a real friend. No, let's not sugarcoat it. Yes, it's there.
Speaker 2: Is it great? No? Is it terrible? No?
Speaker 1: I actually walked in today and said, you look good
Speaker 1: like it's like a cute fluffy halo.
Speaker 2: It's a lot. Yeah, it's a mullet, and I know that. Yeah. No,
Speaker 2: but they don't. I know that my other moms out
Speaker 2: there will understand what I'm talking about right now. I
Speaker 2: had put a photo up on my Instagram a couple
Speaker 2: of months back when at first started growing back. But
Speaker 2: it's it's really worse now, so maybe I'll need to
Speaker 2: do a follow up. But anyway, that's my life in
Speaker 2: a nutshell. Brittany, how the hell are you talk me
Speaker 2: through this first before we move on. I don't have
Speaker 2: a baby, and I'm just I'm just going to show you, now,
Speaker 2: what is this hair that's happening for me? Because I
Speaker 2: have what you have, but without the kid.
Speaker 1: Look at that, without the kids, like that, it sticks
Speaker 1: out ninety degrees. It stays up like I've been electrocuted.
Speaker 1: That looks like a visor to a hat.
Speaker 2: That's what I mean. It's hectic, all right, britt How
Speaker 2: has your week been? Oh babe, don't have a story
Speaker 2: for you.
Speaker 1: For all of you that follow along on my Instagram,
Speaker 1: you would have seen that I moved this week. If
Speaker 1: you didn't see that and you don't follow me, I
Speaker 1: guess why why not? It's Brittany on score Hockley, get
Speaker 1: on that. Yeah, just give yourself a plug, baby sull
Speaker 1: go for it. Well, you would have seen my shenanigans.
Speaker 1: So I moved on the weekend, and let's just say
Speaker 1: it didn't quite go to plan. I take the day
Speaker 1: off work, right, because obviously you have to be there
Speaker 1: to move. I've taken the day off work, and I'm hectic.
Speaker 2: I've got a lot of little jobs going. It's a
Speaker 2: big deal for me to clear a whole day's schedule.
Speaker 2: You're a busy woman, so I'm a busy woman. I'm
Speaker 2: at their property, things to do. I've met the property,
Speaker 2: might even have a boyfriend. Maybe I do. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I mean, I know I've met the property and I'm
Speaker 2: waiting for all my stuff to arrive.
Speaker 1: Time an an hour ticks past, A couple more hours
Speaker 1: tick past. Neck minute, it's the end of the day.
Speaker 1: I am on the blower. Hey, guys, Brittany here just
Speaker 1: wondering where my stuff is. Oh, Brittany, I can see. Yes,
Speaker 1: we're delivering tomorrow. What do you mean you're delivering tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Today's my moving day. No, No, we can't do today.
Speaker 1: We're doing tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Why didn't you call to confirm this? I did. That
Speaker 2: was the biggest I went back through.
Speaker 1: I have paperwork which I forwarded them and showed them.
Speaker 1: I was like, no, look, I can see our communication
Speaker 1: trail here. It specifically says will not be at the
Speaker 1: property any other day other than this day. This is
Speaker 1: there we booking it in. They wrote back anyway, they
Speaker 1: didn't come. It was disaster.
Speaker 2: So I just take a big breath. You know, can't
Speaker 2: change this now.
Speaker 1: Let's crack on. My brother in law, bless your soul.
Speaker 2: Jay.
Speaker 1: So my sister's partner. My sister was working and he
Speaker 1: came down to help me build some stuff. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm all about being independent, but there's so if you
Speaker 1: can't do on your own. So he came down to
Speaker 1: help me build.
Speaker 2: L flat flat pack, flat patcher flat pack Vsiety flat pack.
Speaker 2: Fucking ike is one of those things that you can't
Speaker 2: do on your own. I'm like, yeah, I told you
Speaker 2: was flat pack. You know that you're an adult when
Speaker 2: you have no Ikea furniture in your house. Like, that's
Speaker 2: my benchmark for being an adult. So I'm definitely not
Speaker 2: there yet. Babe.
Speaker 1: I'm thirty two and I just built two i Ikea flatbags.
Speaker 2: What are you saying that you're not an adult yet?
Speaker 2: Pretty much? Continue. So we're building this flat pack.
Speaker 1: We get to the very end and and it's so
Speaker 1: late at night, and we realize that there's a piece missing.
Speaker 2: It's broken.
Speaker 1: We can't finish it. Without it, we can't finish it.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, of course, we can't finish it, so
Speaker 1: bless your soul.
Speaker 2: Jay. Jay's like, I'll go pick up some pieces at
Speaker 2: I Care. He calls ahead. He sits on the phone
Speaker 2: for forty minutes. To make sure it gets it.
Speaker 1: It's like closing time and he's on the road to Sydney,
Speaker 1: across Sydney to get this stupid piece of timber.
Speaker 2: I'm back home, still building on my own. It's a
Speaker 2: shame that he's dating a sister. Why, well, because he
Speaker 2: would be the perfect boyfriend. Yeah, he is for my sister.
Speaker 2: That's a shame. Okay, So we go to bed. We
Speaker 2: don't go to bed. We both independently go to our houses.
Speaker 1: And go to next Next morning, we get up and
Speaker 1: obviously this is now the delivery day. They call me
Speaker 1: first thing in the morning. They're not supposed to come
Speaker 1: until midday. They said that the day we're going to
Speaker 1: come at midday. So I'm like, brilliant. I haven't slept
Speaker 1: in past six o'clock in weeks.
Speaker 2: I'm sleeping in. I get a call at quarter to seven, Hi,
Speaker 2: we're here with your furniture what like? Why?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh my god, Okay, So I run down.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, I'll be there because I didn't stay
Speaker 1: at the house because I couldn't build the shit. So
Speaker 1: I'm back in my old property. So I'm like, I'll
Speaker 1: be there five minutes, just getting a coffee run down,
Speaker 1: got the furniture. Now I got this huge fridge. So
Speaker 1: this huge fridge, all my White Goods washing machine are delivered.
Speaker 1: I'm standing there by myself. They pull it up a
Speaker 1: flight of stairs. It's so big in it's packaging, it
Speaker 1: can't even fit in the door.
Speaker 2: They not exaggerating. They park it out the front of
Speaker 2: my door and they say, hey, because of COVID, we
Speaker 2: can't come in the house. Thank you bye, and they
Speaker 2: walk away. No, I'm not kidding. I'm standing there there
Speaker 2: by yourself. Yeah, I'm standing there by myself with a
Speaker 2: huge fridge and they can't sit in the door that's
Speaker 2: in the corridor blocking my neighbor's entrance. Then there's a
Speaker 2: washing machine and I just stand there like I just
Speaker 2: can't believe it. I'm actually gobsmacked.
Speaker 1: So I go and knock on my neighbor's door and
Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, neighbor. He comes out and help me.
Speaker 1: Jay comes down again, and we're trying to get this
Speaker 1: stupid White Goods in. We eventually get it in and
Speaker 1: I'm like, how can this get any worse?
Speaker 2: It can? Oh God?
Speaker 1: I plug the washing machine in, brand new, everything set up,
Speaker 1: go toto a cycle and it just floods. It floods everywhere.
Speaker 1: My whole bathroom's done. I've gone for a swim. I
Speaker 1: put a snorkel on. I just embraced it. I saw
Speaker 1: this on your Instagram stories.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say that you didn't put the plug into
Speaker 2: the washing machine. I'm gonna say some of this was
Speaker 2: your fault, because absolutely it was not. It was not, guys.
Speaker 1: I put this on my Instagram right, I'm like, sos,
Speaker 1: it's flooding out. I can't tell you how many people
Speaker 1: are A hundreds You guys have no faith in me.
Speaker 1: Hundreds of people wrote how about you tried turning the
Speaker 1: tap off?
Speaker 2: Dull? Oh like I didn't try that, guys. I appreciate
Speaker 2: your support, but of course I turned the tap off.
Speaker 2: But you did admit to me earlier that you that
Speaker 2: you just fucking pulled the plug out and just let
Speaker 2: the apartment flood. I had to. I had no choice.
Speaker 2: I didn't know what else to do.
Speaker 1: Where I did let myself was that I did this
Speaker 1: process three times because each time I thought I fixed it.
Speaker 2: So I did a cycle again and it wasn't fixed.
Speaker 2: Why did you keep persevering? I think there's the saying,
Speaker 2: which is like, for me once, shame on you for
Speaker 2: me twice, shame on me for me three times. I'm
Speaker 2: a fucking idiot. I felt like I need to go
Speaker 2: to Ikea and buy a bucket. Firstly, I don't think
Speaker 2: that's a real saying. You made it up. Oh ma,
Speaker 2: it's pretty pretty accurate. Actually, okay, let me just talk
Speaker 2: you through it. I just felt like I had something
Speaker 2: to prove to myself, Like.
Speaker 1: I mean, on my own. I don't need someone in
Speaker 1: this house with me. I don't need a man right now.
Speaker 2: I can do it. But I couldn't, and I had
Speaker 2: to accept defeat. I went to Bunnies the next day.
Speaker 2: I got some tools. I cannot wait to see your apartment.
Speaker 2: And I really hope that your landlord doesn't listen to
Speaker 2: this podcast I had. I did have a breakdown.
Speaker 1: I did sit in the puddle for a while and
Speaker 1: I cried and I just had to lend it out
Speaker 1: because it'd been very stressful few days. Then I got
Speaker 1: my shit together, I got changed because I was wet, kept.
Speaker 2: Going on my merryway. Bloody hell, I know what, I'm doozy.
Speaker 2: I'm exhausted, kay, same I'm not moving for the next
Speaker 2: twenty five years. Well, I'm proud of you. I feel
Speaker 2: like when you're moving and you're on your own, it's
Speaker 2: one of the times it really highlights how it would
Speaker 2: be very nice to have a man around. Oh absolutely,
Speaker 2: and like I'm all for I can do this on
Speaker 2: my own, but they are literally, physically some things you
Speaker 2: can't do on your own, and it's it's frustrating things
Speaker 2: that's like I really was I just really need to
Speaker 2: lift this to put something under it, for example, but
Speaker 2: I can't.
Speaker 1: There's so much I can't do because you just need
Speaker 1: a second body there. It's not even a man, it's
Speaker 1: a second body.
Speaker 2: But it makes you so much more like, it makes
Speaker 2: you so much more adaptable and resilient, like you want
Speaker 2: to do things on your own, Whereas I feel like
Speaker 2: now because I have Matt, it's made me so lazy.
Speaker 2: I don't do anything. I'm like, oh, the TV's broken.
Speaker 2: She's like, you've got to turn it on. Laura like,
Speaker 2: fuck up, can't figure it out. You're better do that, pal,
Speaker 2: it's broken again. It's just made me so even like
Speaker 2: with my computer, I'm gonna turn into one of those
Speaker 2: old people that don't know how to use technology purely
Speaker 2: because anytime I need to do anything, I'm like Matt,
Speaker 2: fix it. That's what I do with you.
Speaker 1: I'm like, Laura, I can't walk into this thing.
Speaker 2: What does that mean? I'm literally your boyfriend. You're my boyfriend.
Speaker 2: I'm your boyfriend. Yeah, you are? You are? Ah, I
Speaker 2: don't know. That's where we are. So that was it.
Speaker 1: So I'm in, guys, but I'm far from settled. Hopefully
Speaker 1: it will come a time to be alive.
Speaker 2: Guys.
Speaker 1: All right, let's get into our favorite segment for today's episode.
Speaker 2: We're going to be talking about love languages. Now, it's
Speaker 2: a topic that I'm sure you've heard about at some
Speaker 2: point in the past, but maybe we're going to talk
Speaker 2: about it with renewed and refreshed information. Maybe not, but
Speaker 2: we hope that we can bring to you within a
Speaker 2: new interesting life. But before we get into that, we're
Speaker 2: going to do our favorite part of the episode, which
Speaker 2: is accidentally unfiltered, and that is when you, guys write
Speaker 2: in your most embarrassing stories and we laugh at you.
Speaker 2: That's pretty much it favorite pastime and Laura, You've got
Speaker 2: a goodie. This so really nice. When we laugh at
Speaker 2: you and not at me, which for change is you know,
Speaker 2: it's a brilliant chance. It's good to me. All right,
Speaker 2: let me find this one, Let me find this bad boy.
Speaker 2: I've always found it nicely lever. Okay, that was a
Speaker 2: hard sentence, wasn't it, Fuck you. I've always found it
Speaker 2: nice to keep some succulents by the window. They're easy
Speaker 2: to care for, and they add a little bit of
Speaker 2: greenery to your room. Back in October, I decided I'd
Speaker 2: spend thirty five dollars on a set of four small succulents.
Speaker 2: I know succulents don't need much water, so it'd only
Speaker 2: water them once every three weeks or so. I found
Speaker 2: it odd that the water didn't really disintegrate into the soil.
Speaker 2: Instead it kind of just sat on the top in
Speaker 2: a little pool and then it absorbed in. But anyway,
Speaker 2: I figured that they were small and they don't need
Speaker 2: much water. I left over Christmas, and I was worried
Speaker 2: about my succulents and how they were going to hold
Speaker 2: up without any water. Much to my delight, I came
Speaker 2: back and they looked as healthy as ever, just as
Speaker 2: the day I bought them. How resilient this little plant is.
Speaker 2: I continued watering the succulents for months each month. This
Speaker 2: is a long one, guy, stay with me, but I'm
Speaker 2: here for it. I continued watering the succulents for months,
Speaker 2: each month, giving just the ride and the water that
Speaker 2: would float on the surface for a little while and
Speaker 2: they would absorb into the soil. I must be doing
Speaker 2: a great job, I thought, because they still looked so
Speaker 2: awesome after eight months of purchase. I took real internal
Speaker 2: pride in my little succulents until the day I left
Speaker 2: on a holiday and got my housemates to take care
Speaker 2: of them. Anyway, I don't know where this is going,
Speaker 2: but I'm like anyway. I was overseas when I received
Speaker 2: a FaceTime call from my housemate who said, are you
Speaker 2: fucking kidding me? Your succulents are plastic. She even then said, look,
Speaker 2: if you look closely, you can see the glue, which
Speaker 2: she pointed out to me, and yep, there it was,
Speaker 2: the glue on the bottom of the cuculent. Anyway, it
Speaker 2: turns out that I've just spent eight months watering four
Speaker 2: little plastic succulents. Fuck my life. I love that so
Speaker 2: much because I feel like there are a lot of
Speaker 2: girls that would be in this position. No, I don't
Speaker 2: think there are, but I actually loved it. Trying to optimistic.
Speaker 2: That's I think that this is This is like the sweetest,
Speaker 2: most inoffensive, accidentally unfiltered that we've ever received. It's also
Speaker 2: one of the dumbest. But I love it so much.
Speaker 2: I love it so much. Like I like it after
Speaker 2: eight months you never questioned why it hadn't grown. That's
Speaker 2: the thing that really gets me. It's a real kicker.
Speaker 1: What does she think the chunks of shiny, thick glue
Speaker 1: were plants can be really really stic these days.
Speaker 2: Those plicy plants sometimes like a fool. I think I
Speaker 2: need to get plastic plants because I cannot keep my
Speaker 2: own alive. Anyway. Ah, that was I enjoyed that, Bretti.
Speaker 2: Do you have an accidentally unfiltered for me? Whne's not?
Speaker 2: It's funny now what a Oh my god. The amount
Speaker 2: of messages that we get every week because of Britney's
Speaker 2: laugh is Honestly, it's like one of my favorite things
Speaker 2: to read in the reviews. It's one of my favorite
Speaker 2: things to read in the Facebook group. But britt your
Speaker 2: laugh brings me and everybody who listens to this podcast
Speaker 2: so much joy I just want to like really make
Speaker 2: you aware of how great it is. And I think
Speaker 2: the half the time I laugh, I'm not even laughing
Speaker 2: at what's been written in I'm laughing at you, guys.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I ever told you this. That
Speaker 2: was once a day where I tried so hard to
Speaker 2: contain my laugh and not let it be who it
Speaker 2: wants to be. I wasn't letting my laugh be its
Speaker 2: best self.
Speaker 1: I wasn't because I was so embarrassed by it, because
Speaker 1: it's pretty in your face and it's pretty loud, and
Speaker 1: I wish us to hide it.
Speaker 2: And I remember when on the Bachelor.
Speaker 1: Originally my family were like, Brett, do you best to
Speaker 1: try and keep that laugh under wraps?
Speaker 2: And now I've just let it. I can't control it.
Speaker 2: Like it's just it's out. It's living its best life.
Speaker 2: It's very staccato and it really punctuates the air. But
Speaker 2: I think every single person who hears it, every single
Speaker 2: person who hears it, is here for it. I'm here
Speaker 2: for it. Well, I don't want to reassure you that
Speaker 2: I am here for it. And I appreciate that thank
Speaker 2: you for your support. You're welcome. Okay, Now bring me
Speaker 2: in accidentally unfiltered.
Speaker 1: I am a goody for you. Bear with me because
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna summarize this story. So this girl's driving
Speaker 1: to her boyfriend's house and she's driving her mum and
Speaker 1: a dad over because they're going to have like this
Speaker 1: great family little bonding dinner. Now, because she's driving, she's
Speaker 1: given a mom a phone and she's like, text my partner,
Speaker 1: text the guy on my behalf. So they're doing really
Speaker 1: innocent texting, and the mom's reading out what he's saying,
Speaker 1: and he's like, do we need pasta for dinner?
Speaker 2: Do we need this? Guineman pick up this?
Speaker 1: And she's saying, just write this back, Mom, write this back,
Speaker 1: and it's a super innocent conversation. Then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: out of nowhere, he decides to go rogue and sends
Speaker 1: a photo of his dick with those little googly eye
Speaker 1: things that you can get for arts and crafts, and
Speaker 1: he stuck the eyes on the end of his venis
Speaker 1: and set the photo.
Speaker 2: In the middle of it, like, do we need pasta
Speaker 2: for dinner? To the mom because he doesn't know the
Speaker 2: mom's texting, Oh my god. The mom has screamed, basically
Speaker 2: thrown the phone. She's like, I just I just saw
Speaker 2: a photo of your partner's dick with eyes on it.
Speaker 2: I don't know what's happening. We can't go to dinner. What.
Speaker 2: She's like, what do you mean you to thaw a
Speaker 2: photo with his dick? And she showed her the photo.
Speaker 2: She's like, oh yeah.
Speaker 1: Anyway, they're almost at the house, so they're mortified.
Speaker 2: They're like, what do we do? Pull it together. Let's
Speaker 2: just have dinner. So they're trying to I want to
Speaker 2: know if the guy knows about this year, so they're not.
Speaker 2: They don't. They're only just getting to the door, and
Speaker 2: they're like, pull it together, let's get through this dinner.
Speaker 2: So they get in there.
Speaker 1: At the dinner table, no one says anything. The whole time,
Speaker 1: the guy is just having a great old laugh. He's
Speaker 1: trying to like impress the parents. He's trying to make
Speaker 1: them laugh and have a good old time.
Speaker 2: No one says anything.
Speaker 1: Then when they get up to leave and they walk
Speaker 1: out the door, he hears the mom say, but I
Speaker 1: don't understand why he put.
Speaker 2: The eyes on it. Wait, So that's how we found out.
Speaker 2: So he overheard them walking out of the house be
Speaker 2: talking to each other, being like, I still just don't
Speaker 2: understand why he put the eyes of oh my god.
Speaker 1: And then also obviously he hears this she comes back in,
Speaker 1: he's like, theybe want to explain.
Speaker 2: That comment, like he would just think that she'd shown
Speaker 2: her mom. Hey, mom, look at the giggly I did
Speaker 2: think I just got So this is who you meet.
Speaker 2: And he's got great abs, nice haird likes long walks
Speaker 2: on the beach, and this is his deck. Oh and
Speaker 2: he's really funny. See mom, See he's so funny Tom.
Speaker 2: He's got really great eyes. Look, maybe we should get
Speaker 2: into the topic for today. Yeah, okay, on that note,
Speaker 2: Sorry about that, guys, but we're gonna we're gonna jomp
Speaker 2: right in.
Speaker 1: Hey, thanks for writing those in. Keep sending them because
Speaker 1: we actually, as you can tell, love them. They make
Speaker 1: our day. So keep them coming. Let's get in to
Speaker 1: the topic.
Speaker 2: We actually had a request for a full episode of
Speaker 2: Accidentally Unfiltered's, which maybe next time we have to do
Speaker 2: a bonus episode. That is what we're gonna do. We're
Speaker 2: gonna just put together and save some of the absolute
Speaker 2: best which is kind of like the worst stories and
Speaker 2: put them into an episode just for you. If anyone
Speaker 2: would like that, maybe send us a DM and tell
Speaker 2: us if that's something that you would want, hit us
Speaker 2: up on Instagram, because.
Speaker 1: You guys have got to send us. Yeah, we need
Speaker 1: your dirtier story. You can come to say story that
Speaker 1: you say to yourself.
Speaker 2: I need to bury this so no one can ever
Speaker 2: ever hear it. That's what we want. Like maybe you
Speaker 2: lost a butt plug and spent seven hours in the
Speaker 2: shower trying to find it. I want to know about this.
Speaker 2: I want to notice more about the I Dick pic.
Speaker 1: So, guys, we did mention that we're going to talk
Speaker 1: about love languages today and I think that that's a
Speaker 1: really cool, fun important topic. And I don't know if
Speaker 1: anyone has ever done the tests or anything like that
Speaker 1: you can find out what you love language is. We
Speaker 1: will get into that in a minute, but we thought
Speaker 1: this would be a really nice topic to go back
Speaker 1: to and just really delve into what makes you tick,
Speaker 1: what makes your partner tick. It's also a really nice
Speaker 1: topic to kind of follow on from last week's big episode,
Speaker 1: which was our breakup Bible. And that is because often
Speaker 1: a lot of relationships break down because you have mismatched
Speaker 1: love languages and you're not really communicating, receiving, or feeling
Speaker 1: love because maybe your partner's displaying it in a way
Speaker 1: that's not a way that you feel loved by. If
Speaker 1: that makes sense, it will make sense because we're going
Speaker 1: to get into it. But also if you're single and
Speaker 1: you're looking for a new relationship, these are things to
Speaker 1: really be aware of and conversation to have early on
Speaker 1: in a relationship so that you can make sure that
Speaker 1: you're growing together and that you're both satisfying each other's
Speaker 1: love language, which is how people really feel and receive love.
Speaker 1: Everything in the world is changing, and it is a
Speaker 1: really hard time for love right now. It's a hard
Speaker 1: time to find new love. It's a hard time to
Speaker 1: maintain the love you're in. It's just it's a really,
Speaker 1: really tumultuous time, which is why we thought it'd be
Speaker 1: nice to delve into it. So there are five love languages,
Speaker 1: and the concept of this stemmed from New York Times
Speaker 1: number one best selling book titled The Five Love Languages.
Speaker 1: It's written by a man called doctor Gary Chapman, and
Speaker 1: it's an approach to showing and receiving love that will
Speaker 1: help you experience this deeper and richer level of love
Speaker 1: and help you maintain love for a longer period of time.
Speaker 2: So we're going to get into what the different five
Speaker 2: love languages are that we're going to talk a little
Speaker 2: bit about what our love languages are. And also if
Speaker 2: you haven't done it yourself, we really recommend going and
Speaker 2: doing the test online. Literally, if you just type in
Speaker 2: love Languages test, you can then sit down. It takes
Speaker 2: about five minutes, ten minutes, I don't know, it depends
Speaker 2: on how slow you read, but you can find out
Speaker 2: what your love language is. It's it also gives you
Speaker 2: the opportunity to do that with your partner to better
Speaker 2: find out what love language they are, and it's also
Speaker 2: just a really interesting conversation to have with them after
Speaker 2: and also then kind of like pick out the little
Speaker 2: bits and pieces of your relationship that maybe you could
Speaker 2: both be working on better together. Well. Yeah, because the.
Speaker 1: Fact is we all have different personality types and this
Speaker 1: means that we feel love and give love differently. So
Speaker 1: this is why it's really important to figure out what
Speaker 1: your type is and what makes you tick so that
Speaker 1: you know what you and your partner can have this
Speaker 1: healthy relationship.
Speaker 2: Before we get into all the love languages, brit What
Speaker 2: is your like number one love language? My number one?
Speaker 2: So did you do the order because it tells you
Speaker 2: like the order? Yes, I know my order? Yeah, okay?
Speaker 2: So my number one? Oh why don't you guess it?
Speaker 2: Yours is touch? Yes, it is well done, and then
Speaker 2: it is words of affirmation.
Speaker 1: No incorrect, words of affirmation caming third, So my order
Speaker 1: was physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time,
Speaker 1: and then receiving gifts was last.
Speaker 2: It's like I can't even date you, but I don't
Speaker 2: even know you at all. Well, you got my first one,
Speaker 2: all right? Do you want to know mine? Yeah? Can
Speaker 2: I guess? I reckon? Your first one would have been
Speaker 2: knowing where you are in life right now? Acts of service? No, no,
Speaker 2: but close. My first one was alcohol and I think
Speaker 2: you did the Dan Murphy's test. But bring me wine
Speaker 2: and I will love you forever. No okay? So mine
Speaker 2: were mine were quality time, and then my next one
Speaker 2: was words of affirmation. Then it was acts of service,
Speaker 2: and then it was physical touch, and then it was
Speaker 2: receiving gifts. But I have a really interesting thing that
Speaker 2: I want to talk about later on the episode once
Speaker 2: we've gotten through what all of these are, and that
Speaker 2: is that I think that your love languages change over time,
Speaker 2: and they also are dynamic depending on where you're at
Speaker 2: in your relationship. But I want to really flesh this
Speaker 2: out with you because I think that this is like
Speaker 2: ending on where you are with your partner, it really
Speaker 2: impacts what you need from them. I absolutely agree.
Speaker 1: I think so changed for me, but I imagine for you
Speaker 1: going through your next life journey, your next huge chapter
Speaker 1: from being single to a child and engaged, I imagine
Speaker 1: it would be very different.
Speaker 2: So that will be interesting. So let's get into that,
Speaker 2: but not yet. Number one is words of affirmation. So
Speaker 2: words of affirmation is like, maybe you really enjoy it
Speaker 2: or need your partner to sort of to tell you
Speaker 2: that they love you, to say and actually verbalize that
Speaker 2: they think that you're pretty, or they're really proud of you,
Speaker 2: or that you're you know, you're doing a great job.
Speaker 2: You need to verbally and physically hear from them these
Speaker 2: words in order to feel like you're in order to
Speaker 2: feel like you're valued, and in order to feel like
Speaker 2: they love you. That is like the number one of
Speaker 2: the love languages.
Speaker 1: Yep, that whole idea of you know, you should know
Speaker 1: how much I love you. I shouldn't have to tell
Speaker 1: you all the time, that doesn't fly with these people.
Speaker 1: If that's if your love language is words of affirmation,
Speaker 1: that's not enough. You need a partner to be verbal
Speaker 1: with you and constantly. And it's not a it's not
Speaker 1: a vanity thing, and it's not something to prop you up.
Speaker 1: It's just that that's how you feel loved, so don't
Speaker 1: confuse that.
Speaker 2: And it's also not like for constant reassurance either, Like
Speaker 2: I know that there are some people who feel like
Speaker 2: they need to be told that they love because there
Speaker 2: is a level of insecurity in their relationship. This can
Speaker 2: be like very stable and very happy relationships. But some
Speaker 2: people are very good at being very verbal, and then
Speaker 2: some people aren't. I think this also grows for parents,
Speaker 2: Like some people grow up with parents who are very
Speaker 2: much like you know, a very find it very easy
Speaker 2: to say I love you, And then I have friends
Speaker 2: who have parents who don't really ever say I love you,
Speaker 2: and when they say it to their parents, their parents
Speaker 2: have said like, oh I know you do, or something
Speaker 2: very like weirdly like what feels like a little bit
Speaker 2: incompassionate or a little bit unloving back. But it's also
Speaker 2: because these people display their love very differently. But words
Speaker 2: of affirmation, I think, can be a really really big one,
Speaker 2: and if it's not displayed and if people aren't receiving it,
Speaker 2: they can very much feel unloved.
Speaker 1: I have friends, and this blows my mind, but I
Speaker 1: have friends whose parents have never said they love them.
Speaker 1: And it's not because they don't love them, but they've
Speaker 1: come from a generation where they didn't express love like that.
Speaker 1: So they know they love them because they look after
Speaker 1: them and house them and they do other things for them, whereas,
Speaker 1: for example, my parents, my dad, he will call me
Speaker 1: every day and he'll be like, hey, Possum, have I
Speaker 1: told you today?
Speaker 2: I love you?
Speaker 1: Like just stuff like that. So it's when you start
Speaker 1: to think about what we're talking about. You start to
Speaker 1: look into the universe and everything that's around you and
Speaker 1: the people around you, and you'll start to notice these
Speaker 1: love languages in the people that are surrounding you.
Speaker 2: It's really interesting, absolutely well, even when I think of
Speaker 2: my own mum, and this was like a conversation that
Speaker 2: I kind of got into with Matt when we were
Speaker 2: talking about this, like, I like my mum and I
Speaker 2: we have such a great relationship, and we as we've
Speaker 2: gotten older, our relationship has gotten better, I think. But
Speaker 2: there was definitely a period there where I didn't feel
Speaker 2: as loved by her or like I didn't really feel
Speaker 2: like we were as connected as what you should be
Speaker 2: from and daughter, Like there was a real mismatch there.
Speaker 2: It took like a little bit of age and a
Speaker 2: little bit of wisdom to realize that my mom shows
Speaker 2: how she loves me in very different ways. For example,
Speaker 2: when I was at UNI, my mum would stay up
Speaker 2: all night and do my referencing because I would do
Speaker 2: my assignments last minute, and then part of my assessment
Speaker 2: was that I needed to have these hectic references done,
Speaker 2: and she would get up at like three in the
Speaker 2: morning or four in the morning and she would do
Speaker 2: all my referencing on my assignments for me. But she
Speaker 2: may love yeah, like insanely right, but she may not
Speaker 2: have verbalized it in a way that I needed it
Speaker 2: at that time. And so I was kind of like
Speaker 2: a bit I was kind of like a little bit
Speaker 2: resentful in those years, almost and now when I look back,
Speaker 2: I'm like, Wow, Mum showed me that she loved me
Speaker 2: in so many ways. I just wasn't open to receiving that.
Speaker 2: I was looking in all the wrong places. So that's
Speaker 2: kind of what brings it back to how important it
Speaker 2: is to really acknowledge, even if your love language is
Speaker 2: are different to acknowledge when someone is showing you that
Speaker 2: they love you, because maybe they're doing it in a
Speaker 2: very different way to the way that you want to
Speaker 2: receive it. Yeah, so maybe your mom's love language was
Speaker 2: acts of service one hundred percent and still is. Like
Speaker 2: that's like number at the top. My mum would make leotage,
Speaker 2: she would drive us to sport, she would like get
Speaker 2: up at four thirty am to make sure that we
Speaker 2: were all up to do our sports in the morning.
Speaker 2: Like she just did so many things for us and
Speaker 2: she still does. And that is one hundred percent how
Speaker 2: she shows her love. My mom's exactly the same.
Speaker 1: She was never one to every day smother us and
Speaker 1: say she loved us, but she went above and beyond
Speaker 1: to do everything we ever needed, like we never wanted
Speaker 1: or needed anything.
Speaker 2: And that brings us into number two, which is acts
Speaker 2: of service. So, like we just said, acts of service
Speaker 2: is like this whole concept of action speak louder than words,
Speaker 2: and it's it's a very dad thing. I think as well.
Speaker 2: Acts of service it's the little things. It's like fixing
Speaker 2: something for you. For example, Brittany, had you had a
Speaker 2: boyfriend that could have come to your aid, he would
Speaker 2: have fixed your washing machine, it would have been a
Speaker 2: bloody welcome to active service. It's when your partner does
Speaker 2: something for you. Maybe they cook you dinner, or maybe
Speaker 2: they give you a massage. But it's like small actions
Speaker 2: that they do which is their way of showing that
Speaker 2: they love you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it could be like washing doing something that you
Speaker 1: know is gonna make your partner happy, or doing something
Speaker 1: that you know is going to make your partner's life easier.
Speaker 1: That's what it's about. It's not that you love doing it,
Speaker 1: because you probably don't, but you know how much your
Speaker 1: partner is going to appreciate it. You know how much
Speaker 1: more it's going to make their life smoother, and that's
Speaker 1: why you do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it could be something easier. It could be like,
Speaker 2: you know, your partner organizes a service for your car,
Speaker 2: or he puts petrol in your car, or just like
Speaker 2: things that just genuinely make your day to day easier,
Speaker 2: which sometimes I think acts of service can be really
Speaker 2: overlooked in a relationship, and I think that this is
Speaker 2: something that we really need to get into as well.
Speaker 2: Acts of service is one of those things that gets
Speaker 2: forgotten about because there becomes this expectation. For example, if
Speaker 2: you cook dinner every single night for your partner, it
Speaker 2: doesn't become seen it necessarily as being something that they're
Speaker 2: grateful for because it's an expectation because you always cook
Speaker 2: dinner every night. And so I do think that sometimes
Speaker 2: acts of service can be very quickly overlooked as a
Speaker 2: form of showing love. Absolutely agree.
Speaker 1: And also I think when you're doing this, it shouldn't
Speaker 1: be chure. So you need to keep it in mind
Speaker 1: that you're doing it because you love them, and you're
Speaker 1: doing it with a positive vibe and you have happiness,
Speaker 1: and you have happiness in.
Speaker 2: Your intent and it's genuine.
Speaker 1: When you're doing it out of obligation or it has
Speaker 1: a negative tone attached to it, that's when you sort
Speaker 1: of lose sight and your relationship. It won't have the
Speaker 1: same effect because you're doing it because you feel like
Speaker 1: you have to, not because you want to, and make
Speaker 1: sure you're not doing anything out of obligation.
Speaker 2: Number three Laura receiving gifts. So I think that like
Speaker 2: this is one of the ones that people think can
Speaker 2: be very materialistic, and I think that, like often people
Speaker 2: are afraid to say, oh, gifts is my love language.
Speaker 2: By me thinks I like handbags. Yeah, handbags are my
Speaker 2: love language. I left my gift list on the fridge.
Speaker 2: It doesn't need to be expensive stuff. When we say gifts,
Speaker 2: we're not talking about you need a Chanelle handbag. We're
Speaker 2: not saying that you're some boujie bitch that needs to
Speaker 2: have everything brought for you. That's not what this part
Speaker 2: of the love languages is. It could be that when
Speaker 2: your partner goes traveling, they always bring you back something,
Speaker 2: and whether it's small totems or tokens of their affection,
Speaker 2: it's just them wanting to remind you that they love you,
Speaker 2: and they do that by buying flowers, or they do
Speaker 2: that by bringing you home I don't know, a pastry,
Speaker 2: or it can be something small. But these are also gifts, yes, sentimental.
Speaker 1: Some of the best gifts I've ever been given have
Speaker 1: cost nothing because they've been made, because they've been made
Speaker 1: with me in mind, and they've been really thoughtful. But
Speaker 1: having said that, these gifts don't have to be small
Speaker 1: and sentimental. They can still be big, materialistic gifts. It's
Speaker 1: just as long as you have your partner in mind
Speaker 1: and it's something that you know they want, you know
Speaker 1: they love. You're doing it because you know it's going
Speaker 1: to make them happy and vice versa. They're doing it
Speaker 1: for you for the same reason. But whatever it is, again,
Speaker 1: don't be doing it because you're buying their love.
Speaker 2: It's not about that. It's not about trying to win.
Speaker 1: Them over and keep them in a relationship that I
Speaker 1: want to be with because you're buying the materialistic things.
Speaker 1: So again there's always these lines that you have to
Speaker 1: be really careful when you're crossing gifts.
Speaker 2: Is the tricky one in that if somebody if so
Speaker 2: for me, gifts is so far down my list. When
Speaker 2: we sat down and we did this online test, it
Speaker 2: gives you a percentage mind as to like what percentage
Speaker 2: each each love language means to you, and it lists
Speaker 2: them from sort of one to five. But everybody has
Speaker 2: like a dominant love language and a secondary love language.
Speaker 2: Not only is gifts at the bottom of my list,
Speaker 2: it rates a zero percent. Like for me, I do
Speaker 2: not care about gifts. Go and unpack the fish washer,
Speaker 2: and that is how I'm going to feel loved. But
Speaker 2: I also think, as I said earlier in the episode,
Speaker 2: that I think that it fluctuates and it's relative to
Speaker 2: the relationship that you're in. So this is a bit
Speaker 2: of a backstory. But when I've spoken about this relationship before,
Speaker 2: like I was with the guy for six years, and
Speaker 2: he was the first person that I really really thought
Speaker 2: this is the one, Like, this guy is the one,
Speaker 2: And we had a we had a fairshi air of
Speaker 2: ups and downs, like I tell you, but like I'm
Speaker 2: not going to get into all that, but one thing,
Speaker 2: that one thing that really stood out to me, and
Speaker 2: the fact that I have a zero percent care for gifts,
Speaker 2: but this still really really affected me. He never ever
Speaker 2: bought me a present. He never bought me a Birthday present,
Speaker 2: he never bought me a Christmas present, he never gave
Speaker 2: me a card. And so in six years of being together,
Speaker 2: I never ever received anything from him, and it became
Speaker 2: this real point of contention because my love language is
Speaker 2: shifted and it became something that became more important to
Speaker 2: me because I felt that because I wasn't getting that
Speaker 2: from him at all, and he wasn't even attempting to
Speaker 2: satisfy that need that I had, even if it was
Speaker 2: like the most minimally basic need. I was like, you don't.
Speaker 2: You can't possibly love me like you are being so unthoughtful.
Speaker 2: You're not thinking of me, you're not caring about me.
Speaker 2: I just felt like I couldn't possibly be important to him,
Speaker 2: even though he showed me in lots of other ways
Speaker 2: that he loved me. Yeah, but okay, I'm going to
Speaker 2: jump in here.
Speaker 1: No, but even if your love language isn't gift giving
Speaker 1: or receiving, you still buy someone you love a birthday
Speaker 1: present the baseline of what you do like, you just
Speaker 1: don't not do that.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying is even though you may rate
Speaker 2: so low on something like even if you have no
Speaker 2: desire for one of these love languages, we all still
Speaker 2: need all of these in some measure. Like you can't
Speaker 2: just never give someone words of affirmation, can just not
Speaker 2: You can't be with someone and never tell them that
Speaker 2: you love them. You can't be with someone and never
Speaker 2: do an acts of service for them. So even if
Speaker 2: you are more dominant in one love language than the other,
Speaker 2: you still need little bits of each because if you're
Speaker 2: being completely deprived in one love language, then that love
Speaker 2: language is going to move up in the list of priorities.
Speaker 2: It's going to then become something that becomes important to
Speaker 2: you because you're not receiving it at all. And so
Speaker 2: that that was crazy to me because I don't care
Speaker 2: about gifts at all. And then by the end of
Speaker 2: our relationship, I was like, you don't love me, you
Speaker 2: don't buy me anything. It's my birthday. You didn't even
Speaker 2: give me a card, and I became really fixated on
Speaker 2: not being given something. I have something similar my I
Speaker 2: was just really angry. Then I was like, that was
Speaker 2: really It was a really hard relationship and it made
Speaker 2: me really angry. Guys, and I still think about the
Speaker 2: fact that I got no gifts for six years. It
Speaker 2: kind of hurts a little bit. Lauri, your therapy session
Speaker 2: is over. Now back to the topic.
Speaker 1: No, I my psychox relationship, he was exactly the same.
Speaker 1: Gifts meant nothing to me, but it was like opposite
Speaker 1: for you. When I sorry, when I say exactly the same.
Speaker 1: It was nothing alike.
Speaker 2: It was a total complete upset. But I mean he
Speaker 2: would go to the extreme and he was constantly giving
Speaker 2: me really big, expensive gifts.
Speaker 1: But I soon worked out it was like a guilt thing.
Speaker 1: It was when he had cheated on me or when
Speaker 1: he had done the wrong thing, I would get this
Speaker 1: gift and then I just thought he was like, it
Speaker 1: didn't I didn't want them. It didn't mean anything to me.
Speaker 1: But I was like, what an amazing guy he always
Speaker 1: is thinking of me, But it's not.
Speaker 2: It was. It was a guilt thing and it meant nothing.
Speaker 2: So once I realized that, it took it away, it
Speaker 2: took the magic away from it. And I think that's
Speaker 2: why gifts don't really do what they used to do
Speaker 2: for me now because I associate it now with it
Speaker 2: not really being meaningful. I would rather someone give me
Speaker 2: their time, because he was constantly canceling on me with time.
Speaker 2: Would have a weekend away, he would cancel last minute.
Speaker 2: Obviously he would say he had to work, but it
Speaker 2: was because he was going and spending the weekend with
Speaker 2: someone else. So then physical touch and time became my
Speaker 2: top two because that's all I really craved the gifts
Speaker 2: mean nothing could feel less about them. He was buying
Speaker 2: my love, he was buying my trust and love. Like,
Speaker 2: you're totally right. And I think in that which it's
Speaker 2: so funny because I always thought gifts was like the
Speaker 2: most boring one. I was like, oh, it's so those superficial,
Speaker 2: But I actually think gifts is a really interesting love
Speaker 2: language because it's something that people can put a lot
Speaker 2: of time, a lot of energy, and a lot of
Speaker 2: money into. And some people might buy very extravagant gifts,
Speaker 2: and like I'm not saying that it's because they've cheated,
Speaker 2: Like just in a relationship, someone might buy very very
Speaker 2: extravagant gifts, might organize holidays, might do all these things.
Speaker 2: But if your love language on the receiving end is
Speaker 2: not gifts, kind of wasting your money, Like you don't
Speaker 2: need to take someone out for dinner and do this massive, big, elaborate,
Speaker 2: expensive show of affection when all that person's really craving
Speaker 2: is quality time and touch and affection or words of affirmation.
Speaker 2: I think that when there's this total mismatch in how
Speaker 2: you're showing your love one, it can be detrimental the relationship.
Speaker 2: But also it can be really fucking expensive in such
Speaker 2: a waste of money.
Speaker 1: She just put that away for a house to possit.
Speaker 2: Yes, anyway, I just want someone to tell me that
Speaker 2: they love me and give me a glass of wine.
Speaker 2: I just want a culmination of everything. And I also
Speaker 2: want them to do the washing and put the chart
Speaker 2: to bed. Yeah yeah, rub my back, tell me I'm pretty,
Speaker 2: and feed me once, hold my hand and tell me
Speaker 2: I'm pretty. Feed the baby. So next is quality time
Speaker 2: number four. Quality time and this love language, it's all
Speaker 2: about giving someone your undivided attention.
Speaker 1: If this is their love language, If undivided time is
Speaker 1: their love language, they want to be the center of
Speaker 1: your world.
Speaker 2: No phones, no computers, no TV. Nothing.
Speaker 1: They just want you to sit down, listen to them,
Speaker 1: talk to them, be present for them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and be invested in what they're saying as well.
Speaker 2: I think it's one thing when your partner gives you
Speaker 2: the scraps of their time, Like when they've finished work
Speaker 2: and they've already spoken to their friends, and they've done dinner,
Speaker 2: and they've done their sport and all this sort of stuff,
Speaker 2: and they come home and they're too tired, but they
Speaker 2: flop on the couch and watch a Netflix with you.
Speaker 2: That's not quality time. Quality is your priority time. Quality
Speaker 2: time is like there are other things that I could
Speaker 2: be doing and I kind of want to do as well,
Speaker 2: but you are the absolute number one, Before exercise, before food,
Speaker 2: before whatever else it is. It's gonna be with you,
Speaker 2: and I'm gonna incorporate all those other things with it,
Speaker 2: but it's gonna be with you.
Speaker 1: If your partner's love language is quality time, every time
Speaker 1: you cancel a date or every time you postpone something,
Speaker 1: or every time you say you can't talk on the
Speaker 1: phone anymore as really hurtful to your partner and it
Speaker 1: does make them feel like you don't love them. So
Speaker 1: it's really something you consider. You need to figure out
Speaker 1: if that's your partner's love language, take that into account.
Speaker 2: If you're going to cancel a date, think do you
Speaker 2: really have to?
Speaker 1: Because it is going to affect them more than it
Speaker 1: might affect you if that's not your love language.
Speaker 2: So my number one love language is quality time. And
Speaker 2: I think that that's because for us, like now that
Speaker 2: we have a baby, the time that we get together
Speaker 2: is not that quality and often we often we are
Speaker 2: on our phones or we're occupied with work or like
Speaker 2: one person has Mary and one person is trying to
Speaker 2: get other things done in the house, and so it's
Speaker 2: the time that we actually get to spend together mat
Speaker 2: night and actually sit on the couch and be totally
Speaker 2: present in each other's company is really minimal. So when
Speaker 2: we do have the opportunity to be together and actually
Speaker 2: like really invest in each other's time, like if one
Speaker 2: of us is on the phone or a little bit disengaged,
Speaker 2: it's really hurtful because those moments that we get to
Speaker 2: have together are so few and far between now. Even
Speaker 2: though we spend so much time together, very very minimal
Speaker 2: time of that is actually quality time. Yeah, well, I
Speaker 2: spent a lot of time on my own, but I
Speaker 2: spent a lot of time with you. We spend a
Speaker 2: lot of quality time together. The depth of our conversation.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I'm like, I should talk to mad about this.
Speaker 2: Doctor Chapman does say that if you do want to
Speaker 2: show your partner some love and their language is quality
Speaker 2: time to remember the three bees. Are you ready, I'm ready.
Speaker 1: Be deliberate with your time, make a plan, don't do
Speaker 1: anything super last minute, Make them feel like they're loved
Speaker 1: and wanted, so say, keep Friday night free because I
Speaker 1: am going to plan something and he's going to be
Speaker 1: amazing and I want.
Speaker 2: To surprise you. So lock it in and make them
Speaker 2: feel like you've really thought about it. The second B
Speaker 2: be mentally present, so, like.
Speaker 1: You just said, really just be there. Don't be drifting
Speaker 1: off in your thoughts. Don't glance down to your phone.
Speaker 1: Don't say, oh sorry, what did you just say, because
Speaker 1: it just shows that you're not interested. Thirdly, be affectionate. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you've planned, you kill a night out, you've locked
Speaker 1: your dating, you're mentally present there, but you still need
Speaker 1: to bring that little extra level of physical touch. Bequte,
Speaker 1: tell them they're sweet, so you bring some of the
Speaker 1: other love languages in, wrap it up into one beautiful
Speaker 1: little gift, and you've.
Speaker 2: Got a really nice night. And that is what he says.
Speaker 1: That's how you really drive home to your partner that
Speaker 1: you're here for them and you love them and you're
Speaker 1: gotta make this work.
Speaker 2: I really like the first one of that, this whole
Speaker 2: idea of being deliberate. I think there's nothing, there's nothing
Speaker 2: like less attractive than when someone says, like, oh, let's
Speaker 2: hang out and like, you organize a night and you're
Speaker 2: gonna do something special, and then they haven't booked a restaurant,
Speaker 2: they haven't made any plans, and so it's two last minute.
Speaker 2: You can't actually go and do anything nice. The night
Speaker 2: is like a bit of a waste because it's like, well,
Speaker 2: what are you wanna do? Where do you want to go? On? Like, no,
Speaker 2: I hate you said that you were going to do this.
Speaker 2: You asked me, why haven't you even thought about what
Speaker 2: we're gonna do? Why does that end up on me?
Speaker 2: I think that that's like I think that that is
Speaker 2: genuinely a reflection of not actually wanting to spend quality
Speaker 2: time with someone because you haven't really put any time
Speaker 2: and energy into making that time quality. You've just been like, oh, well,
Speaker 2: I hope that they bring the goods. If there's nothing worse,
Speaker 2: then it's like, well, okay, what are we gonna do then?
Speaker 2: And like, well what do you feel like eating? Like
Speaker 2: what do you feel like? You're like, well, I don't know,
Speaker 2: we're supposed to be haveing dinner in ten minutes. You
Speaker 2: haven't planned anything. There's not like you almost as you
Speaker 2: try the tailing, don't you like don't worry, let's just
Speaker 2: stay in a breaths. Like you almost get a bit defensive,
Speaker 2: and even though you like, yes, you're staying at home
Speaker 2: and you've got uber eats, it's like, well, this was
Speaker 2: our opportunity to do something special, and now we're not
Speaker 2: doing something special. We're doing what we do almost every
Speaker 2: night of the week. So it's therefore no longer really
Speaker 2: quality time, even though we're together, Like I think kind
Speaker 2: of takes away from that. I mean, it can still
Speaker 2: be quality, but it takes the specialness away. Yeah, a
Speaker 2: little bit one for the single people, because not everyone
Speaker 2: who is, like you know, not everyone who's listening to
Speaker 2: this is in a relationship. But when you're dating someone
Speaker 2: and they're okay with giving you their Monday or their Tuesday,
Speaker 2: or their Wednesday or their Thursday night, but they're not
Speaker 2: going to give you their Friday night, their Saturday night,
Speaker 2: or their Sunday day, like that is not quality time, right,
Speaker 2: Like you know where you stand on their list of priorities.
Speaker 2: And I think that that is very glaringly clear. If
Speaker 2: a guy is happy to do dinner with you on
Speaker 2: a Monday or a Tuesday, but he won't do dinner
Speaker 2: with you on a Saturday or a Friday. He's got
Speaker 2: better things to do. He's fitting you into his list
Speaker 2: of priorities. So stay woke, ladies.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're single, all this still applies. It's really
Speaker 1: great to know going into a relationship. But in the
Speaker 1: early stages of dating, you can pick up on what
Speaker 1: someone's love language is straight away.
Speaker 2: You don't have to be in a long term relationship.
Speaker 1: So I think that this is equally is important for
Speaker 1: singles entering the dating world to long term relationships.
Speaker 2: Number five is physical touch. So this is mine number one.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: I want you to stroke my hair. I want you
Speaker 1: to tickle my arm, or you tick my back. I
Speaker 1: want you to give me a BackRub. I want you
Speaker 1: to cudd on me. I want you to spoo me.
Speaker 2: I love touch, and I'm like that with everyone, Like
Speaker 2: I'm quite affectionate with my friends. I'll she's very handsy.
Speaker 1: I'm hands but even I don't know, Like even if
Speaker 1: you've seen on the lounge and I laughed, I might
Speaker 1: even laugh and touch your leg And.
Speaker 2: It's not an awkward thing. And I don't actually think
Speaker 2: about it. I only really thought.
Speaker 1: About it when I was reading through the love language
Speaker 1: and thinking of what I am and my friends often
Speaker 1: say that, and it's not a bad I'm not all
Speaker 1: over you, but it's like the tiniest little touch because
Speaker 1: that's how I show you that I care well. Instead
Speaker 1: of being two meters away when you're upset and saying
Speaker 1: I'm here for you, I'll be next to you and
Speaker 1: I'll touch your arm and I'll say.
Speaker 2: I'm here, you know. It's just like those little things.
Speaker 2: I think, like this is the one that this is
Speaker 2: what made me think about how dynamic love languages can
Speaker 2: be and how they change depending on the relationship you're in,
Speaker 2: and how they depend how they change depending on where
Speaker 2: you're at in your relationship. So I used to be
Speaker 2: quality time and my second one was always physical touch,
Speaker 2: like they were always neck and neck, but because because
Speaker 2: touching me time, Yes, I was gonna be really rude then,
Speaker 2: but I'm not going to do it. So now it's
Speaker 2: kind of changed and like now it's still quality time.
Speaker 2: That's still like maintains number one, but acts of service
Speaker 2: has become my secondary and most important thing. And I
Speaker 2: think it's shifted because Matt and I are always touchy
Speaker 2: fely with each other, like we always are the ones
Speaker 2: who will hug each other. We always we're always kiss
Speaker 2: each other like we're very very handsy couple. Like not
Speaker 2: to be grossed and give you too much information, but
Speaker 2: we're very very affectionate with our touch. So I'm not
Speaker 2: lacking in that part of my life. But sometimes acts
Speaker 2: of service, like my God, if you do the washing,
Speaker 2: cook me dinner, and put Marley to bed, I'll let
Speaker 2: me tell you, that really gets me off now. And
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have cared about that stuff before, but now,
Speaker 2: because of the situation that we're in, because of the
Speaker 2: point in life that we're in, acts of service, I
Speaker 2: understand now why dads end up mowing the lawn and
Speaker 2: doing all the stuff, because that is what really arouses
Speaker 2: a woman. My dad does it because he has to
Speaker 2: mom's like, I'm not fitting your dinner. Wait, you see
Speaker 2: to your mom. You ask your mum what gets her up,
Speaker 2: and she'll be like, the mowing. I'm pretty sure that
Speaker 2: when your dad washes the dishes, that's that's your mum. Yeah. Okay, Well,
Speaker 2: so for people that dad, I know you're listening to this. Sorry,
Speaker 2: sorry Tony, sorry, big Tones. He listens to everyone. He's like, actually,
Speaker 2: I just mowed the lawn yesterday. Can you hear him
Speaker 2: in the background starting them all, that's gonna be a
Speaker 2: good night in the Hockeley house. Mom's like, Tony, you
Speaker 2: mowed the lawn yesterday. Yes, I know, dude, but but
Speaker 2: I'm not joking. I really think that depending on where
Speaker 2: you're at in your relationship, acts of service becomes so
Speaker 2: much more important. And like I just I really didn't
Speaker 2: realize this until I got to this point in my
Speaker 2: relationship with like now even today when I made Matt
Speaker 2: do the test so I have his answers as well,
Speaker 2: and he even said to me, it's like I couldn't
Speaker 2: have cared less before if you had cleaned the house
Speaker 2: and like done things for me. He's like, but now, babe,
Speaker 2: you take money for the day and I'm going to
Speaker 2: go for a surf and go for the run. He's like,
Speaker 2: that means so much to me. It's like, I know
Speaker 2: that that's you showing me that you love me, but
Speaker 2: well it means more. Yeah, it means more now totally
Speaker 2: heid Froth that so froth that, But it's dear God,
Speaker 2: hed Froth. It it's important to know that physical touch
Speaker 2: isn't just about sex, and we make the joke, but
Speaker 2: it's not just a sexual thing.
Speaker 1: It's literally the little things. It's holding hands in public,
Speaker 1: it's cuddling in public. It's not being ashamed, it's just
Speaker 1: making sure they feel safe. And there's always that point
Speaker 1: of contact. I know, even for me when I'm not
Speaker 1: in a relationship. Sorry Sherry, but I always do this
Speaker 1: when I feel like I'm needing love. I literally go
Speaker 1: to my sister's house and she cooks me, bless her.
Speaker 1: She cooks me dinner, and I lay on the lounge
Speaker 1: like she's my boyfriend, and I put my head on
Speaker 1: her lap, and she like will tickle my arm, will
Speaker 1: stroke my hair. But it's because that's my love language.
Speaker 1: And I because I've been single for so many years,
Speaker 1: there comes to a points every few months or however
Speaker 1: long when you're like, okay, I feel like I'm because
Speaker 1: that's how I feel love.
Speaker 2: That's what makes me lack love.
Speaker 1: If you don't have it, and you don't have anyone
Speaker 1: that's giving you physical attention, physical touch of any point,
Speaker 1: a cuddle, you forget how much you need it. You
Speaker 1: need human contact. So I will literally go to hand
Speaker 1: I'll be like, can you pat my hair? Fight half now,
Speaker 1: and she'll just like tickle my hair and then I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I've got what I need.
Speaker 2: But also I think, isn't this like such an interesting
Speaker 2: time for people whose number one love language it's touch?
Speaker 2: And then to think that we've just been through a
Speaker 2: pandemic where you can't hug each other, you have to
Speaker 2: be socially distanced, especially for people who aren't single, who
Speaker 2: maybe live alone, who haven't been able to get that
Speaker 2: physical touch. Like, I think you just totally hit it
Speaker 2: on the head that there will be a lot of
Speaker 2: people going through this period and coming out the other
Speaker 2: side who have felt very lonely and have felt very
Speaker 2: unloved because one of their core and fundamental love languages
Speaker 2: haven't been able to be satisfied by that. It's been
Speaker 2: a really tough time. But that's why I found this
Speaker 2: a really interesting chat to do today. That's the five
Speaker 2: love languages. And what doctor Chapman does say is he
Speaker 2: refers to all of these love languages as being a fuel,
Speaker 2: and he refers to having a love tank. So in
Speaker 2: a relationship, you have a love tank. Those languages, those
Speaker 2: five love languages are the fuel that are in the tank.
Speaker 2: If you're not constantly refilling the tank with the fuel,
Speaker 2: you're not going to propel forward. So this is how
Speaker 2: he explains it.
Speaker 1: So, if you feel like your relationship is really stagnant,
Speaker 1: you feel like you're not meeting each other halfway, you
Speaker 1: feel like you're not moving forward, it's probably because you
Speaker 1: need to look at your love tank and see what
Speaker 1: you're not putting in. If you feel like you aren't
Speaker 1: moving in your relationship, maybe guys go and do this
Speaker 1: five love languages test.
Speaker 2: See what you are, see what your partner is.
Speaker 1: Because you might not even know what your partner's love
Speaker 1: language is, you might think you're showing them love.
Speaker 2: He often gets this.
Speaker 1: Doctor often gets couples on and what happened because he's
Speaker 1: a therapist. What happens is he sees these couples and
Speaker 1: he's he's saying, okay, talk.
Speaker 2: Me through why you're breaking up? Why do you want
Speaker 2: to break up?
Speaker 1: And it's because one couple, one day, one person one
Speaker 1: day stands up and says, you don't love me anymore,
Speaker 1: and I can't do it. You don't love me, I'm
Speaker 1: not getting what I need. I'm leaving. And usually the
Speaker 1: other partner's like, well, what, I love you so much?
Speaker 1: Don't you see how much I do for you? And
Speaker 1: it's because they've never spoken about their love language. Her
Speaker 1: love language is an act of service. He thinks he's
Speaker 1: doing all this stuff for her, showing her he loves it,
Speaker 1: but all she wants to do is be touched and said,
Speaker 1: you know, be told that he's.
Speaker 2: Proud of her.
Speaker 1: So this is why it's imperative that you find out
Speaker 1: what works for your partner, what they want, and then
Speaker 1: you make sure that you're.
Speaker 2: Adding the right amount of fuel into your love tank. Yeah, so, guys,
Speaker 2: I just listen.
Speaker 1: It's a really interesting little twenty minute podcast that doctor
Speaker 1: Chapman did with Oprah twenty minutes, and it's really interesting
Speaker 1: if you guys are interested in listening to him and
Speaker 1: the way he explains it.
Speaker 2: It's I loved it. Well. One of the things I
Speaker 2: really wanted to touch on this episode is like, what do
Speaker 2: you do when your love languages don't align? So maybe
Speaker 2: you're at a point in your relationship and you don't
Speaker 2: feel loved and you're listening to this podcast and you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: actually you know what, Yeah, he doesn't tell me he
Speaker 2: loves me, but he does do all these things for
Speaker 2: me every day, and you know, he drives me to
Speaker 2: work and he picks me up, and he's like always
Speaker 2: texting and he whatever. It is, like, maybe there's a
Speaker 2: mismatch in how you're giving love and how you're receiving love. Now,
Speaker 2: we're not sitting here saying that just because you have
Speaker 2: different love languages that you're not a compatible partner. Like,
Speaker 2: I think that you can overcome this. But the only
Speaker 2: way to overcome this is to have great communication and
Speaker 2: to really sit down and explain to your partner what
Speaker 2: you need, and also to then do better to show
Speaker 2: your partner that you love them in the ways that
Speaker 2: they receive love as well. And for me, I think
Speaker 2: one of the biggest things I've learned in my relationships
Speaker 2: and something that I really like, this is like my
Speaker 2: greatest advice guys here it is. It's that you're like,
Speaker 2: what the fucking well, then you might say, my advice is,
Speaker 2: if you are in a bad spot in your relationship
Speaker 2: right now, instead of telling your partner all the things
Speaker 2: that they need to do to be different, try doing
Speaker 2: those things yourself first. So, for example, I know and
Speaker 2: hear me out because sometimes you don't feel like doing
Speaker 2: it right if you feel like you have been less loving,
Speaker 2: as in both you and your partner have been less loving,
Speaker 2: and you were like, well, you're not being loving to me,
Speaker 2: you're not telling me that you love me, you're not
Speaker 2: being affectionate, you're not being handsy and touchy and all
Speaker 2: those things that you need. Really like, I think that
Speaker 2: action proceeds change, And I think that when you start
Speaker 2: being more loving to your partner, when you start being
Speaker 2: more verbal and you explaining that they're the things you need,
Speaker 2: often that's that motivates change in them. They will see
Speaker 2: a change in you, and that will sometimes and nite
Speaker 2: a change in them. If it doesn't, then that's when
Speaker 2: you're like, fuck, I have really tried everything. But I
Speaker 2: do think that there has to be a period there
Speaker 2: where you really try to be the difference and you
Speaker 2: really try to be the change that you want in
Speaker 2: them to spark that treat me out, treat them how
Speaker 2: you want to be treated.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like a number one rule to life, right,
Speaker 1: treat another human how you want to be treated.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But even more so with this, I think it's
Speaker 2: more so than just like just going like, you know,
Speaker 2: be nice and treat people out the way you want
Speaker 2: to be treated. I think like, if you are not
Speaker 2: feeling loved, instead of instead of being angry about that,
Speaker 2: love your partner even more, instead of rolling over in
Speaker 2: bed and sulking, yeah, roll the other way and cuddle
Speaker 2: him and kiss him. Yeah exactly, And then you know,
Speaker 2: if you're then still not getting the affirmation back, then
Speaker 2: I think that that's then when it becomes time to assess.
Speaker 2: But I really do think instead of just putting up
Speaker 2: a roadblock and going, nah, I feel like this now
Speaker 2: because I'm not getting what I need from him, I
Speaker 2: think there's always a point in the relationship where you
Speaker 2: can go a little bit further to see if you
Speaker 2: can create that change yourself. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Thanks.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's not going to work for everyone, but
Speaker 2: it's worked for me, and it's worth while. It's worked
Speaker 2: in our relationships. There's been time where Matt and I
Speaker 2: have been having a hard time and we've been butting heads,
Speaker 2: and you know what, we could keep going down the
Speaker 2: path of butting heads, but one of you just has
Speaker 2: to sometimes put up the surrender fly and meet the
Speaker 2: other person a little bit more than halfway, and you
Speaker 2: don't want to be that person all the time, but
Speaker 2: sometimes being that person really just makes the relationship grow
Speaker 2: and it gets you back into being in a really
Speaker 2: great space.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you gotta put the fuel back in the love tank.
Speaker 1: So what is Matt's love language?
Speaker 2: All right, I gotta pull it up because I can't remember.
Speaker 2: Hold on. What was Matt's so, Matts was words of affirmation.
Speaker 2: He wants me to tell me. He wants me to
Speaker 2: tell him that he's pretty and that I love him,
Speaker 2: and that he has a nice bicet. I actually told
Speaker 2: him when he walked in, I was like, I like
Speaker 2: his shirt, Matts, So he would love that. He loves
Speaker 2: words of affirmation. He wants me to tell him that
Speaker 2: he's a sexy man all the time. His second one
Speaker 2: is quality time, which I yeah, like, we're totally on
Speaker 2: par with that. Quality time is really important to both
Speaker 2: of us, and those are both like pretty equal. Then
Speaker 2: he's he's equal paired on the next two. So acts
Speaker 2: of service and physical touch are neck and neck. And
Speaker 2: then he's thirteen percent gift giving, I mean gift receiving. Okay,
Speaker 2: so still last he's but he likes him a bit
Speaker 2: more than I do. I was like thirteen percent for
Speaker 2: receiving gifts, like that's pretty high, and he was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: fucking give me things. I'm like checking mine. My gift
Speaker 2: giving was last, but it was three percent. That's not
Speaker 2: very high. Yeah, mine was zero percent. Hang on, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna be.
Speaker 1: Worried now that maybe like future husbands out there are
Speaker 1: going to listen to this and not buy me anything.
Speaker 2: Do yours in percentages? Tell me the whole thing in percentages.
Speaker 1: Ready, physical touch twenty nine percent, acts of service twenty
Speaker 1: six percent, words of afimation twenty three percent, quality time
Speaker 1: nineteen percent, receiving gifts three percent. The quality time thing
Speaker 1: actually really surprised me because I thought that would be higher.
Speaker 2: I don't feel like that's right. Should everyone go and
Speaker 2: do this really accurate test that Brittany now doesn't think
Speaker 2: is correct.
Speaker 1: Well, I get that physical touches. No, it just surprised
Speaker 1: me that. I mean, they're all only a few percent different.
Speaker 2: But I love I mean, actually no, I do like
Speaker 2: a lot of time on my own, so maybe it
Speaker 2: does make sense. I'm glad you came to that nu
Speaker 2: it on your own. I'm nutting this out live guys,
Speaker 2: I am live okay, so mine work quality time thirty three,
Speaker 2: and then very shortly afterwards was acts of service thirty
Speaker 2: Then it was words of affirmation at twenty three, and
Speaker 2: then it was physical touch at thirteen. When I touch
Speaker 2: you like, don't buy me anything, stop touching me, don't
Speaker 2: buy me things, just tell me I look pretty, do
Speaker 2: things for me, and spend your time with me. All
Speaker 2: but brilliant number one. I would like a combination of
Speaker 2: all equal. Well, I think that that's what we were saying.
Speaker 2: Like when it comes back to what I was saying
Speaker 2: earlier in that you're always going to be some percentage
Speaker 2: of these different love languages. They all are important, and
Speaker 2: they all play a role in every single relationship. You
Speaker 2: cannot be in a relationship that is completely void of one,
Speaker 2: because you will then end up feeling unloved. But how
Speaker 2: and the level and to what percentage that you show
Speaker 2: those different love languages is going to vary from relationship
Speaker 2: to relationship and in the time of your life. Absolutely,
Speaker 2: And it all comes back and comes down to if
Speaker 2: you have fundamentally different love languages, it comes down to communication,
Speaker 2: and the only way that your relationship is going to
Speaker 2: work with that person is if you're both super committed
Speaker 2: to making sure that the other person feels loved in
Speaker 2: the way that they receive loved, even if that's not
Speaker 2: what's innately normal or like easy for you. Full stop,
Speaker 2: boom baby, Enjoy that. Guys.
Speaker 1: That's it for love languages. We hope you learn something.
Speaker 1: If you haven't figured out you love language, jump online.
Speaker 1: Literally just google the five Love Languages test.
Speaker 2: There's loads also while you're at it, and I'm just
Speaker 2: gonna throw another one in there. Do the Mayas Briggs test.
Speaker 2: This is like, this is totally off peace right now,
Speaker 2: I can't contribute. We talk to you. I'm taking it
Speaker 2: all the way over left of center. So do your
Speaker 2: love languages test. I think that's like really important for
Speaker 2: couples and for relationships, but on a personal level and
Speaker 2: to better understand who you are and people that you're
Speaker 2: emotionally compatible with. I really recommend also doing the Mayas
Speaker 2: Briggs test, which is the Mayas Briggs personality test, and
Speaker 2: it kind of breaks down your's It is spooky. I'm
Speaker 2: going to get you to do it, Britt. It's so
Speaker 2: good for another episode meet up, yeah, and like record
Speaker 2: a podcast. That'll be wild for why can't we just
Speaker 2: be crazy and do that's that's something we never do.
Speaker 2: That'd be so new for us, So I recommend doing
Speaker 2: that the Mayas Briggs I found so incredibly interesting and
Speaker 2: it really highlighted to me the types of people that
Speaker 2: I'm compatible with, and it highlighted to me my my
Speaker 2: personality traits that I didn't really I guess it just
Speaker 2: made me more aware of who I am as person.
Speaker 2: Recommend maybe we'll put it in the show notes. No
Speaker 2: next week's once. Well, maybe we'll do it in preparation
Speaker 2: for next week. All right, guys, and now it's time
Speaker 2: for Suck and Sweet. But before we get into it,
Speaker 2: just in the little break after we recorded that to now,
Speaker 2: Bridges said to me, can you please take my Lola
Speaker 2: blades off? I was laughing so hard about that, and
Speaker 2: I want to kill her right now because I feel
Speaker 2: dirty from the inside out. That just really came to you.
Speaker 1: I've never used that one before, Lola blade, Yeah, take
Speaker 1: them off.
Speaker 2: I actually helped my foot up to Laura's face and
Speaker 2: I said, take my Lola blades myself. The amount of
Speaker 2: people who have jumped on board with this, though, like
Speaker 2: every day on the reviews in the Facebook group, like,
Speaker 2: I can't tell you how much it kills my soul
Speaker 2: that everybody's embraced your Lola Loser. Do you mean Lola Palooser.
Speaker 2: I'm so embarrassed.
Speaker 1: I'm not embarrassed with me. My favorite thing that's ever
Speaker 1: happened is that you.
Speaker 2: I have been trying to shut this down to day one. No,
Speaker 2: this is even better day one.
Speaker 1: You tried to shut it down at the beginning, but
Speaker 1: now sometimes you don't even know and you say it
Speaker 1: in a sentence, and I love it so hard because
Speaker 1: you it's you have to.
Speaker 2: Admit make you happy. No, I hate it still. He's
Speaker 2: grown on you and everyone loves that. So I'm miserable.
Speaker 2: I'm a miserable old mum. You're also very dramatic. Okay, okay,
Speaker 2: now into the sweet guys. For those of you who
Speaker 2: don't know, suck and sweet is how we end every episode.
Speaker 2: It is our highlight and our low light of the week.
Speaker 2: We already know BRIT's low light because she flooded her
Speaker 2: apartment three times because once just wasn't enough. Yeah, guys,
Speaker 2: my suck's quick. My whole weekend sucked, So my suck
Speaker 2: is my life. It was. Yeah, it was a really
Speaker 2: stressful weekend. I'm actually I'm gonna be real for a second.
Speaker 2: I did put a lot on Instagram and I had
Speaker 2: to laugh about it, but it was it was very defeating.
Speaker 2: There was a moment that I just felt really defeated.
Speaker 1: I felt really low. I'm not going to use the
Speaker 1: word depressed. No I wasn't, but I was really down.
Speaker 1: It was really really hard. I felt really alone, and
Speaker 1: I think it will be good to talk about that
Speaker 1: in the future. I struggled, I had some really low moments.
Speaker 1: So yeah, all in all, it was a really tough weekend.
Speaker 1: But the weekend's over now this is Sunday night. I yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that I just need a really good sleep
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm back to it.
Speaker 2: So that's my my sweet on my peak breakdown.
Speaker 1: So Saturday night last night, I had a few friends
Speaker 1: that had written to me and said like, can I
Speaker 1: come and do something? Can I help you in any way?
Speaker 1: And me, being me, was like no, don't. Like I
Speaker 1: don't want to put people out. I'm like, no, you
Speaker 1: don't need to help me. I'm almost done, Like I'll
Speaker 1: be fine. But I had this one particular friend that
Speaker 1: knew me well enough, and she didn't take no friend answer.
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm actually going to be at your house
Speaker 1: in fifteen minutes. I'm going to the shops. Let's have
Speaker 1: some ice cream. And I just said, you know what,
Speaker 1: you're really forcing yourself on me and I am here
Speaker 1: for that. I said, yes, please come, You're like, no
Speaker 1: means yes and musicians. She turned up and we just
Speaker 1: had a laugh for half an hour. She picked my
Speaker 1: mood up.
Speaker 2: We had some ice cream, we had a little gloss
Speaker 2: and that was my sweet just I think someone maybe
Speaker 2: knowing that whilst I said I was okay that I wasn't,
Speaker 2: you know, yeah, and like having someone there for you, yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean someone that could see through my facade. But
Speaker 2: it's making me feel really guilty now because I knew
Speaker 2: she was sad, but I had a baby at home.
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't mean to make you feel
Speaker 2: guilty now. I didn't. I wasn't that friend, but yeah,
Speaker 2: it was at Laura. I you know, it was someone
Speaker 2: else from the franchise though, from the Bachelor franchise, Kimmy.
Speaker 2: So if anyone doesn't know, one of the best things
Speaker 2: for me that came besides Laura from the Bachelor. I
Speaker 2: was one of the stylists. Kim. We are really really
Speaker 2: close and I adore her and she's beautiful and she
Speaker 2: just delivered the goods. Well, I feel sufficiently guilty. Now, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm glad you got another friend. Do you want me
Speaker 2: to just hold you and touch you and make you
Speaker 2: feel really affirm? Just you okay? Give me your okay.
Speaker 2: So my suck, I mean being sick this whole weekend
Speaker 2: has been a real debbie downer. My suck could also
Speaker 2: kind of be classified as my sweet I went to
Speaker 2: bed at seven o'clock last night. I put Molly to sleep,
Speaker 2: and I just got into bed, and then I slept
Speaker 2: for twelve hours, like I was out, and I don't
Speaker 2: think I've slept for twelve hours. You screened my call.
Speaker 2: I put my phone on aeroplane mode. I was out
Speaker 2: of there. You hung up? Yeah, no, actually I put
Speaker 2: hung up on you, and then I put this is
Speaker 2: me being a ship frien you in your time of
Speaker 2: me who had some other friend. You had some other
Speaker 2: friend come over to support you. I fucking hung up
Speaker 2: on you and put my phone on aeroplane mode. I
Speaker 2: called that. This is really highlighting I've just thought of
Speaker 2: this now. I called Laura. She declined the call, then
Speaker 2: sent me messages and was in bed. I thought you
Speaker 2: would I.
Speaker 1: Know, and that I was sick. I do absolutely. I
Speaker 1: wasn't calling you having a breakdown. I don't know what
Speaker 1: I was calling you for.
Speaker 2: But also like, I'm not going to say I'm in
Speaker 2: bed at seven pm unless there's something like it was.
Speaker 2: It was a real doozy other day. Yeah, and I
Speaker 2: know you'd been so sick, and that's why I would
Speaker 2: never have asked you for help, because you couldn't even
Speaker 2: help yourself. Mate, I was in all sorts yesterday, I
Speaker 2: truly was. So that was my suck. Also, I'm a
Speaker 2: ship friend. Just let that suck. My sweet for the
Speaker 2: week is actually, do you know what somebody wrote in
Speaker 2: the reviews that they really like that or they don't
Speaker 2: like They find it really annoying that I always forget
Speaker 2: if the suck comes first or the sweet comes first?
Speaker 2: Do they? Because that's what that was me. I left
Speaker 2: her reviews. They're like, I'm here with Brittany. How Laura
Speaker 2: always forgets whether it's the suck or the sweet. I
Speaker 2: see you, How dare you you.
Speaker 1: Do every week, I'd be like, what one comes first?
Speaker 2: Again? Yeah, well, I'm trying to keep a child alive.
Speaker 2: Life is just really hard right now. Okay, So my
Speaker 2: sweet is I mean my other suck? Is that Marley
Speaker 2: ate one of my lipsticks. I don't know if anyone
Speaker 2: saw that or my stories. That's not a suck. That
Speaker 2: is golden. That is a golden moment. She gave me
Speaker 2: some good Instagram content, so maybe that's my sweet. Then
Speaker 2: she gave me some solid Instagram contest sponsor. What brand
Speaker 2: was it? It was a little bit of a Revlon
Speaker 2: color Stay. If you're listening, shout out to Revlon. That
Speaker 2: shit really stays. Thank you. My child looks like a
Speaker 2: clown now. So it was all quiet in the house.
Speaker 2: I was in the bedroom and I could hear Marley
Speaker 2: she was playing, and then just quiet, and I realized
Speaker 2: it had been quiet for a little while, and I
Speaker 2: was like, where is that child of mine? And every
Speaker 2: mother knows that when it's quiet, they're doing something. They're
Speaker 2: doing something. And then I couldn't find it because she'd
Speaker 2: just been in the bedroom and our bedroom is next
Speaker 2: door to the bathroom, and I was like, oh god,
Speaker 2: I know where she is. And I opened the door
Speaker 2: and she had I don't know if this is bad, guys,
Speaker 2: but she had eaten an entire lipstick, like the whole thing.
Speaker 2: I mean, was it organic, No, it was Revlong Color Stay.
Speaker 2: She had eaten it down to the nub, and I
Speaker 2: reckon there was about three quarters of a lipstick in that.
Speaker 2: I mean, she's not the first child in a whole lipstick,
Speaker 2: so I feel like she's probably okay. I gave her
Speaker 2: like organic vegetables for lunch to try and even it out.
Speaker 2: Don't think of works like that.
Speaker 1: That's like when I eat a block of chocolate, I
Speaker 1: go and into Karen arter itcause I'm like fixed it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, it's like one minus one equal zero. My
Speaker 2: child is a holy temple. Again, I'm like, you know,
Speaker 2: you try so hard to make sure that you're your
Speaker 2: children don't eat bad things, like they're not eating sugar,
Speaker 2: they're not eating like anything that's processed, and then all
Speaker 2: of a sudden they eat an entire Revlon Color Stay lipstick,
Speaker 2: which you know what, there you go. It'satur roll cookie dough,
Speaker 2: isn't it. Yeah, Well, I don't know which one would
Speaker 2: have been worse, But that also I don't know if
Speaker 2: that was my stage. That's a sweet for sure. That
Speaker 2: was so funny. It was the cutest thing. It was
Speaker 2: very cute. I feel like we're at that We're at
Speaker 2: that phase now of parenting where like your children will
Speaker 2: get into the goro, Yeah, where I just leave my
Speaker 2: children unsupervised for twenty minutes and be like, now, hang on,
Speaker 2: where's that thing that I usually have attached to me?
Speaker 2: She's so self self sufficion Now It's fine anyway, guys,
Speaker 2: that is us for this week. I mean, no, that's
Speaker 2: us for today. We've still got another episode this week.
Speaker 2: It's all happening. I'm down two more days. Oh gosh,
Speaker 2: it's gonna be wild. We really hope that you enjoyed
Speaker 2: the episode. We hope that you learned something. Please, if
Speaker 2: you have any accidentally unfiltered stories, we need your most
Speaker 2: embarrassing story. Guys like you will stay anonymous. We will
Speaker 2: never ever share that. We'll take that shit to the grave,
Speaker 2: but let us laugh with you and at you whilst
Speaker 2: we do it. Thanks again for all the amazing reviews
Speaker 2: you guys been reading to. We really really really loved them.
Speaker 2: The last few days there have been some bloody good ones.
Speaker 2: People are putting a lot of thought in. I really
Speaker 2: enjoyed the review that someone wrote where they compared us
Speaker 2: to the hot tale at the end of Spa. Also
Speaker 2: five stars for that review. That was my favorite. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we were a spa. I've never been a spa before.
Speaker 2: It was like the nicest thing anyone's ever said. I
Speaker 2: was like, They're the sorts of words of affirmation that
Speaker 2: I really need in my life. We were in a spa.
Speaker 2: We were a towel at the spa. We were the
Speaker 2: hot talel at the end of a spa. Oh my god,
Speaker 2: I have a story for you. Then before we go, Oh.
Speaker 1: My god, Wow that came out of nowhere. Is this
Speaker 1: is a hot towel story to sit in.
Speaker 2: This is gonna so I'm gonna go Rogue'm gonna tell
Speaker 2: you a story before we actually get into the end
Speaker 2: of the episode. When I was in Bali this one time,
Speaker 2: I had been going to this spa like this this
Speaker 2: face spa, this is funny, okay, And I'd be going
Speaker 2: every day and I loved it. I'd go and get
Speaker 2: my massage and like one of the things that I
Speaker 2: loved about it was that you there and they'd give
Speaker 2: you this cold towel that had been in the freezer,
Speaker 2: and it had like lavender oil and beautiful things like
Speaker 2: all mixed into it. And it was just the most
Speaker 2: beautifully refreshing thing to receive because you just get off
Speaker 2: your like sweaty scooter and you're so hot, so like
Speaker 2: the humidity and Bali's crazy, and you get inside this
Speaker 2: nice cool room and put this frozen towel on your face. Anyway,
Speaker 2: so I was there with a girlfriend and I was
Speaker 2: raving on about this spa, and so we get on
Speaker 2: the scooter, we drive there, we get inside. I book
Speaker 2: him for like my hour massage and my facial and
Speaker 2: all this shit. And I sit down and the guy
Speaker 2: brings over this towel, this towel that I have been
Speaker 2: raving to her about for ages. And I pick up
Speaker 2: a towel and I rub it on my face and
Speaker 2: I rub it on my hands, and then I rub
Speaker 2: it down my neck, and then I rub it all
Speaker 2: over my chest, and then I rub it over my
Speaker 2: back and then it starts to dry a little bit,
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, oh my god, Oh my god, Nadia,
Speaker 2: can you smell me? And she was like, oh my god.
Speaker 2: Someone had fucking pissed on it and put it in
Speaker 2: the freezer. And I had rubbed it all over me
Speaker 2: or I'm not, I am not kidding, Like you could
Speaker 2: not mistake the smell. It smelt like I had bathed
Speaker 2: in a man's urinal. I had rubbed a urinal cake
Speaker 2: on me, is what it smelt like. I'm so confused.
Speaker 2: Who would do that? Obviously some disgruntled employee did it?
Speaker 2: Not only that, like my tower was considerably more yellow
Speaker 2: than Nadia's tower as well. And I screamed, bloody murder,
Speaker 2: and I ran into the bathroom and then I splashed
Speaker 2: water all over myself. And I was in such disbelief
Speaker 2: and found it so funny. At the time, I still
Speaker 2: went through with my massage. I might you didn't even
Speaker 2: say anything I did, but oh, they just kind of
Speaker 2: laughed at me. Are you serious? It was you? Anyway,
Speaker 2: there was a nice little bonus I certainly unfilled for
Speaker 2: the end of the episode. How did you forget that
Speaker 2: a lot of things have happened to me in my life, Brendan,
Speaker 2: that you just boxed it away, boxed it away. He
Speaker 2: put the trauma in a box, and you put it
Speaker 2: into your closet until you sit down and do a
Speaker 2: podcast and it just really brings out those suppressed memories. Okay,
Speaker 2: all right, Well on that note, guys, if you have
Speaker 2: any questions for I Ask Uncut episode for Thursday, please
Speaker 2: are write in. Also, if you haven't joined the Facebook
Speaker 2: group yet, you need to get on that, like sort
Speaker 2: your life out. It is at Life Uncut podcast. There
Speaker 2: is also at Life Uncut Podcasts for Instagram. And that's
Speaker 2: all there is, folks. There isn't anymore. No, we're not
Speaker 2: gonna start a new ending. We shed a love because
Speaker 2: we will. Dana Bayoa