WEBVTT - Are you speaking my Love Language

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<v Speaker 1>Guys, Welcome back to another episode of Life on Cut.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm Brittany and I am Laura, and I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>hold on, I have something that I need to ask

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<v Speaker 2>you before we get into today's episode. Britt, I feel

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<v Speaker 2>like you've got a little bit of explaining to do.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh hang on, what about There's a multitude of things

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<v Speaker 1>that I need to explain.

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<v Speaker 2>Currently, you're making out with a man named Tim on

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<v Speaker 2>our TV all that. Yeah, you wonder, let's talk about it. Surprised,

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<v Speaker 2>How do you feel like a bit portrayed? Are you?

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<v Speaker 2>Are you expecting that? No, not expecting it, Like, very surprised.

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<v Speaker 2>But I loved Tim on Antie season. He was my

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<v Speaker 2>absolute favorite. I was kind of like a little bit

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<v Speaker 2>jilted that Anie didn't choose Tim. So now it's kind

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<v Speaker 2>of weird. It's just weird. It's I feel betrayed that

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<v Speaker 2>you haven't told me all of these things. And I

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<v Speaker 2>know that I know they told you. I didn't want

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<v Speaker 2>to know, and I kind of like put that between us.

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<v Speaker 2>But now that it's happening on TV, and so has

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<v Speaker 2>everybody else who was invested in this podcast, britt on

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<v Speaker 2>our on our Facebook discussion group, a lot of you

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<v Speaker 2>guys are like trying to figure out what has happened,

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<v Speaker 2>and you're all doing the investigation work. I actually saw

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<v Speaker 2>that someone had posted in our Facebook group a photo

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<v Speaker 2>of BRIT's house and a photo from wherever Tim has

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<v Speaker 2>been and was trying to like match the location. They

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<v Speaker 2>were trying to match the timber. It was insane the timber.

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<v Speaker 2>I thought you were making a pun.

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<v Speaker 1>There, Oh, Tim, Tim, They were trying to match the timber.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought that was insane. But I love yeah, the

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<v Speaker 1>I like this blue thing, guys. It's very, very dedicated.

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<v Speaker 2>When Britt went and did Paradise, I made the conscious

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<v Speaker 2>and committed effort that I don't want to know anything

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<v Speaker 2>because I think that that could then compromise our ability

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<v Speaker 2>to do this podcast properly. And part of the rules

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<v Speaker 2>around Britt doing Paradise is that she can't talk about

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<v Speaker 2>it any more than what actually happens on the TV.

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<v Speaker 2>So I didn't want to be then in a position

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<v Speaker 2>where I knew things and it would just be a

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<v Speaker 2>fucking shit sandwich. So we just didn't go there. So

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<v Speaker 2>I'm finding out this stuff at the same time that

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<v Speaker 2>you're finding it out, and it makes me feel just

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<v Speaker 2>as weird as it makes you feel. That's how I

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<v Speaker 2>feel about this anyway. I'm excited about Tim, and I

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<v Speaker 2>know that you can't say a lot more. Yeah, you

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<v Speaker 2>were actually really good.

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<v Speaker 1>And thank you because you didn't put any pressure on

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<v Speaker 1>me because you know that I can't say it, but

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted to. You never asked me, you never drilled

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<v Speaker 1>it into me. So I appreciate that because it's been

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<v Speaker 1>a long long time to keep something like this to yourself. Obviously,

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<v Speaker 1>I can't talk about it. Guys, there are rules. You'll

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<v Speaker 1>have to just follow along and have some fun, but

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<v Speaker 1>I can say there is such a sense of relief

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<v Speaker 1>that we're at least one step closer to I'm almost

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<v Speaker 1>I always want to say freedom, like I can just

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<v Speaker 1>live my life again, because you do have to keep

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<v Speaker 1>your life a secret for a very long time.

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<v Speaker 2>Whether you're with the person or you're not with the person,

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<v Speaker 2>your life gets completely put on whole because you can't

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<v Speaker 2>publicly be like, hey, we're together and we love each other.

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<v Speaker 2>But you also if you aren't together, you can't be like, hey,

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<v Speaker 2>we're not together and I want to go out and

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<v Speaker 2>date and continue my life. You have to almost just

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<v Speaker 2>like you just have to be in this really neutral

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<v Speaker 2>space where your friends and family around you don't actually

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<v Speaker 2>know what's going on in your life, and it really

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<v Speaker 2>makes you put your life on whole, which I don't

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<v Speaker 2>think a lot of people who haven't done the reality

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<v Speaker 2>TV thing, especially the Bachelor thing, would even know that

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<v Speaker 2>that is the case. But everything gets put on whole

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<v Speaker 2>between when filming finishes and when you're actually able to

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<v Speaker 2>be out in the world.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, it's a long, long haul, guys, but it's exciting.

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<v Speaker 1>It's finally happening, I can say, Laura, I was as

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<v Speaker 1>surprised as you. I was very surprised.

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<v Speaker 2>But that's it.

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<v Speaker 1>Guy's come along for the ride. I can't say anything

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<v Speaker 1>else about it.

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<v Speaker 2>And Timothy, if you're listening and you mean to Brittany,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna cut your bloody balls off, is gonna have

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<v Speaker 2>a field day with that. Just in case you're gonna

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<v Speaker 2>write an article about this Daily Mail, please also put

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<v Speaker 2>in there that I said I am joking.

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<v Speaker 1>No one will be harmed, because I realize that is

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<v Speaker 1>called carstration and it is illegal in most countries.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, it's mine, a dutail, mine, a detail, mine and technicality.

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<v Speaker 2>Moving along, what's been happening in your week. Well, thank

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<v Speaker 2>you for asking. So this week has been a little

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<v Speaker 2>bit interesting. I got the flu, and I feel like

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<v Speaker 2>anybody who gets the flu, now, the first thing you're like,

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<v Speaker 2>it's COVID. I can't leave my house. I can't do anything.

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<v Speaker 2>So I got the flu. Mat got the flu. Marley

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<v Speaker 2>got the flu. Oh gosh, Matt sent me out as

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<v Speaker 2>a sacrificial lamb to go and get COVID tested, per

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<v Speaker 2>heading one for the team. Honey, Yeah, he wouldn't go.

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<v Speaker 2>He wouldn't go. And we had to go down to

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<v Speaker 2>Woollongong on the weekend to go see my nuner for

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<v Speaker 2>her nineteth birthday. And I was like, well, we have

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<v Speaker 2>to go see her, like it's been a big year

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<v Speaker 2>for us, and I couldn't not see her. Obviously. I

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<v Speaker 2>needed to know whether I was like hugely contagious and

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<v Speaker 2>I got this killer virus. So anyway, I had a

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<v Speaker 2>cotton bud shoved into my brain, swabbed around. I'm up

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<v Speaker 2>your nose as far as you can possibly push something.

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<v Speaker 2>It goes into your nose. They swob it around and

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<v Speaker 2>then they pull it out and then they go on

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<v Speaker 2>in and do the second side.

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<v Speaker 1>I haven't had it obviously in the hospital life, I've

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<v Speaker 1>seen it.

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<v Speaker 2>It was the most penetration I've had in a while.

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<v Speaker 2>There she is ladies and gentlemen, there is Laura Burn.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh God, Daily Mail is really going to enjoy this episode.

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<v Speaker 2>So I obviously came back positive. I came back negative.

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<v Speaker 2>I do not have COVID. I went down and saw

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<v Speaker 2>my nun on the weekend. So, like I said, it

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<v Speaker 2>was my nun's ninetieth birthday, which was a really big

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<v Speaker 2>deal for us because my grandfather passed away earlier this

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<v Speaker 2>year and they've been together for sixty seven years since

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<v Speaker 2>since my nan was Wait, I'm gonna be really bad

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<v Speaker 2>at Mass. They've been together since my nan was seventeen,

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<v Speaker 2>and so this was her first birthday without my paper.

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<v Speaker 2>So it was a really happy day, but it was

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<v Speaker 2>also it was also really sad day as well.

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<v Speaker 1>That is huge when you think about it. Do you

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<v Speaker 1>think of being with that one human since you were seventeen.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't know life, you don't remember life without them.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, this was a podcast topic that we were

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<v Speaker 2>kind of considering for today's episode, but it's not the

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<v Speaker 2>podcast topic that we're doing. But it really got me

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<v Speaker 2>thinking about this idea of loneliness, and I know that

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<v Speaker 2>my nan is feeling lonely. As much as she's surrounded

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<v Speaker 2>by my mom and my auntie, and as much as

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<v Speaker 2>we try and call her and see her as much

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<v Speaker 2>as possible, I really understand that there's like a hole

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<v Speaker 2>now in her life that can't be filled. That I

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<v Speaker 2>think is a topic that we should talk about at

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<v Speaker 2>some point in time. But like I said, it's not

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<v Speaker 2>the topic for today. That was my week, that was

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<v Speaker 2>my weekend. It's been a little bit of sick, a

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<v Speaker 2>little bit of Nan, and now it's a little bit

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<v Speaker 2>of you. I don't know how I feel about that.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>We're all in the same group there. You're putting me

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<v Speaker 1>in with your sickness and you're a down. Hey, come on,

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<v Speaker 1>my name's not that down. But she's very old. It's

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<v Speaker 1>a good trot. Do you know what else is happening

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<v Speaker 1>in my life?

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<v Speaker 2>Guys? Tell her and something that that's really been just

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<v Speaker 2>keeping me up at night. I have a mullet. I

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<v Speaker 2>have a fucking mullet. Well, this happens to a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of people who have children. You lose a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>your hair after giving birth. But what no one tells

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<v Speaker 2>you is when the hair starts to grow back like

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<v Speaker 2>a full on tiger king mullet. I okay, I'm going

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<v Speaker 2>to tell you the Joe exotic and that is who

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<v Speaker 2>I look like. It's not as god I do as

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<v Speaker 2>you feel. I'm gonna be honest. It's there. Can I

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<v Speaker 2>just say it's not as bad as you think. Is

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<v Speaker 2>not good? I'm not here to tell you lies. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>a real friend. No, let's not sugarcoat it. Yes, it's there.

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<v Speaker 2>Is it great? No? Is it terrible? No?

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<v Speaker 1>I actually walked in today and said, you look good

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<v Speaker 1>like it's like a cute fluffy halo.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a lot. Yeah, it's a mullet, and I know that. Yeah. No,

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<v Speaker 2>but they don't. I know that my other moms out

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<v Speaker 2>there will understand what I'm talking about right now. I

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<v Speaker 2>had put a photo up on my Instagram a couple

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<v Speaker 2>of months back when at first started growing back. But

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<v Speaker 2>it's it's really worse now, so maybe I'll need to

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<v Speaker 2>do a follow up. But anyway, that's my life in

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<v Speaker 2>a nutshell. Brittany, how the hell are you talk me

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<v Speaker 2>through this first before we move on. I don't have

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<v Speaker 2>a baby, and I'm just I'm just going to show you, now,

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<v Speaker 2>what is this hair that's happening for me? Because I

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<v Speaker 2>have what you have, but without the kid.

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<v Speaker 1>Look at that, without the kids, like that, it sticks

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<v Speaker 1>out ninety degrees. It stays up like I've been electrocuted.

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<v Speaker 1>That looks like a visor to a hat.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what I mean. It's hectic, all right, britt How

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<v Speaker 2>has your week been? Oh babe, don't have a story

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<v Speaker 2>for you.

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<v Speaker 1>For all of you that follow along on my Instagram,

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<v Speaker 1>you would have seen that I moved this week. If

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<v Speaker 1>you didn't see that and you don't follow me, I

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<v Speaker 1>guess why why not? It's Brittany on score Hockley, get

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<v Speaker 1>on that. Yeah, just give yourself a plug, baby sull

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<v Speaker 1>go for it. Well, you would have seen my shenanigans.

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<v Speaker 1>So I moved on the weekend, and let's just say

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<v Speaker 1>it didn't quite go to plan. I take the day

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<v Speaker 1>off work, right, because obviously you have to be there

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<v Speaker 1>to move. I've taken the day off work, and I'm hectic.

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<v Speaker 2>I've got a lot of little jobs going. It's a

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<v Speaker 2>big deal for me to clear a whole day's schedule.

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<v Speaker 2>You're a busy woman, so I'm a busy woman. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>at their property, things to do. I've met the property,

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<v Speaker 2>might even have a boyfriend. Maybe I do. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I know I've met the property and I'm

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<v Speaker 2>waiting for all my stuff to arrive.

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<v Speaker 1>Time an an hour ticks past, A couple more hours

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<v Speaker 1>tick past. Neck minute, it's the end of the day.

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<v Speaker 1>I am on the blower. Hey, guys, Brittany here just

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<v Speaker 1>wondering where my stuff is. Oh, Brittany, I can see. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>we're delivering tomorrow. What do you mean you're delivering tomorrow.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's my moving day. No, No, we can't do today.

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<v Speaker 1>We're doing tomorrow.

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<v Speaker 2>Why didn't you call to confirm this? I did. That

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<v Speaker 2>was the biggest I went back through.

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<v Speaker 1>I have paperwork which I forwarded them and showed them.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, no, look, I can see our communication

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<v Speaker 1>trail here. It specifically says will not be at the

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<v Speaker 1>property any other day other than this day. This is

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<v Speaker 1>there we booking it in. They wrote back anyway, they

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<v Speaker 1>didn't come. It was disaster.

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<v Speaker 2>So I just take a big breath. You know, can't

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<v Speaker 2>change this now.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's crack on. My brother in law, bless your soul.

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<v Speaker 2>Jay.

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<v Speaker 1>So my sister's partner. My sister was working and he

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<v Speaker 1>came down to help me build some stuff. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm all about being independent, but there's so if you

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<v Speaker 1>can't do on your own. So he came down to

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<v Speaker 1>help me build.

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<v Speaker 2>L flat flat pack, flat patcher flat pack Vsiety flat pack.

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<v Speaker 2>Fucking ike is one of those things that you can't

0:10:37.559 --> 0:10:38.959
<v Speaker 2>do on your own. I'm like, yeah, I told you

0:10:39.000 --> 0:10:44.760
<v Speaker 2>was flat pack. You know that you're an adult when

0:10:44.760 --> 0:10:46.960
<v Speaker 2>you have no Ikea furniture in your house. Like, that's

0:10:47.000 --> 0:10:49.240
<v Speaker 2>my benchmark for being an adult. So I'm definitely not

0:10:49.320 --> 0:10:50.200
<v Speaker 2>there yet. Babe.

0:10:50.240 --> 0:10:54.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm thirty two and I just built two i Ikea flatbags.

0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:56.720
<v Speaker 2>What are you saying that you're not an adult yet?

0:10:56.760 --> 0:11:02.040
<v Speaker 2>Pretty much? Continue. So we're building this flat pack.

0:11:02.120 --> 0:11:04.680
<v Speaker 1>We get to the very end and and it's so

0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:07.880
<v Speaker 1>late at night, and we realize that there's a piece missing.

0:11:08.400 --> 0:11:08.960
<v Speaker 2>It's broken.

0:11:09.920 --> 0:11:11.559
<v Speaker 1>We can't finish it. Without it, we can't finish it.

0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:13.280
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, of course, we can't finish it, so

0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:14.480
<v Speaker 1>bless your soul.

0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:17.400
<v Speaker 2>Jay. Jay's like, I'll go pick up some pieces at

0:11:17.440 --> 0:11:19.200
<v Speaker 2>I Care. He calls ahead. He sits on the phone

0:11:19.240 --> 0:11:20.480
<v Speaker 2>for forty minutes. To make sure it gets it.

0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:22.760
<v Speaker 1>It's like closing time and he's on the road to Sydney,

0:11:22.880 --> 0:11:24.920
<v Speaker 1>across Sydney to get this stupid piece of timber.

0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:27.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm back home, still building on my own. It's a

0:11:27.280 --> 0:11:29.920
<v Speaker 2>shame that he's dating a sister. Why, well, because he

0:11:29.960 --> 0:11:32.680
<v Speaker 2>would be the perfect boyfriend. Yeah, he is for my sister.

0:11:36.320 --> 0:11:39.400
<v Speaker 2>That's a shame. Okay, So we go to bed. We

0:11:39.440 --> 0:11:43.839
<v Speaker 2>don't go to bed. We both independently go to our houses.

0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:46.960
<v Speaker 1>And go to next Next morning, we get up and

0:11:47.160 --> 0:11:49.560
<v Speaker 1>obviously this is now the delivery day. They call me

0:11:49.640 --> 0:11:51.160
<v Speaker 1>first thing in the morning. They're not supposed to come

0:11:51.200 --> 0:11:52.839
<v Speaker 1>until midday. They said that the day we're going to

0:11:52.880 --> 0:11:55.080
<v Speaker 1>come at midday. So I'm like, brilliant. I haven't slept

0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:56.600
<v Speaker 1>in past six o'clock in weeks.

0:11:56.960 --> 0:12:00.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm sleeping in. I get a call at quarter to seven, Hi,

0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:03.240
<v Speaker 2>we're here with your furniture what like? Why?

0:12:03.960 --> 0:12:06.520
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, oh my god, Okay, So I run down.

0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:07.880
<v Speaker 1>So I'm like, I'll be there because I didn't stay

0:12:07.880 --> 0:12:10.200
<v Speaker 1>at the house because I couldn't build the shit. So

0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:12.079
<v Speaker 1>I'm back in my old property. So I'm like, I'll

0:12:12.080 --> 0:12:14.120
<v Speaker 1>be there five minutes, just getting a coffee run down,

0:12:14.559 --> 0:12:17.760
<v Speaker 1>got the furniture. Now I got this huge fridge. So

0:12:17.800 --> 0:12:20.520
<v Speaker 1>this huge fridge, all my White Goods washing machine are delivered.

0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:23.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm standing there by myself. They pull it up a

0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:26.120
<v Speaker 1>flight of stairs. It's so big in it's packaging, it

0:12:26.160 --> 0:12:27.520
<v Speaker 1>can't even fit in the door.

0:12:27.960 --> 0:12:32.000
<v Speaker 2>They not exaggerating. They park it out the front of

0:12:32.040 --> 0:12:34.640
<v Speaker 2>my door and they say, hey, because of COVID, we

0:12:34.679 --> 0:12:36.720
<v Speaker 2>can't come in the house. Thank you bye, and they

0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:40.160
<v Speaker 2>walk away. No, I'm not kidding. I'm standing there there

0:12:40.160 --> 0:12:43.640
<v Speaker 2>by yourself. Yeah, I'm standing there by myself with a

0:12:43.800 --> 0:12:46.800
<v Speaker 2>huge fridge and they can't sit in the door that's

0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:50.200
<v Speaker 2>in the corridor blocking my neighbor's entrance. Then there's a

0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:52.280
<v Speaker 2>washing machine and I just stand there like I just

0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:54.080
<v Speaker 2>can't believe it. I'm actually gobsmacked.

0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:55.640
<v Speaker 1>So I go and knock on my neighbor's door and

0:12:55.640 --> 0:12:57.719
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, hey, neighbor. He comes out and help me.

0:12:57.840 --> 0:12:59.560
<v Speaker 1>Jay comes down again, and we're trying to get this

0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:02.320
<v Speaker 1>stupid White Goods in. We eventually get it in and

0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:04.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, how can this get any worse?

0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:07.000
<v Speaker 2>It can? Oh God?

0:13:07.040 --> 0:13:11.040
<v Speaker 1>I plug the washing machine in, brand new, everything set up,

0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:14.120
<v Speaker 1>go toto a cycle and it just floods. It floods everywhere.

0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:16.280
<v Speaker 1>My whole bathroom's done. I've gone for a swim. I

0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:18.840
<v Speaker 1>put a snorkel on. I just embraced it. I saw

0:13:18.960 --> 0:13:20.600
<v Speaker 1>this on your Instagram stories.

0:13:20.840 --> 0:13:23.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna say that you didn't put the plug into

0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:24.880
<v Speaker 2>the washing machine. I'm gonna say some of this was

0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:28.040
<v Speaker 2>your fault, because absolutely it was not. It was not, guys.

0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:31.520
<v Speaker 1>I put this on my Instagram right, I'm like, sos,

0:13:31.600 --> 0:13:35.320
<v Speaker 1>it's flooding out. I can't tell you how many people

0:13:35.400 --> 0:13:37.640
<v Speaker 1>are A hundreds You guys have no faith in me.

0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:39.839
<v Speaker 1>Hundreds of people wrote how about you tried turning the

0:13:39.880 --> 0:13:40.240
<v Speaker 1>tap off?

0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:43.840
<v Speaker 2>Dull? Oh like I didn't try that, guys. I appreciate

0:13:43.880 --> 0:13:45.680
<v Speaker 2>your support, but of course I turned the tap off.

0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:50.000
<v Speaker 2>But you did admit to me earlier that you that

0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:53.000
<v Speaker 2>you just fucking pulled the plug out and just let

0:13:53.000 --> 0:13:55.640
<v Speaker 2>the apartment flood. I had to. I had no choice.

0:13:57.600 --> 0:13:58.600
<v Speaker 2>I didn't know what else to do.

0:13:58.760 --> 0:14:01.280
<v Speaker 1>Where I did let myself was that I did this

0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:03.720
<v Speaker 1>process three times because each time I thought I fixed it.

0:14:03.760 --> 0:14:05.880
<v Speaker 2>So I did a cycle again and it wasn't fixed.

0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:08.880
<v Speaker 2>Why did you keep persevering? I think there's the saying,

0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:11.200
<v Speaker 2>which is like, for me once, shame on you for

0:14:11.400 --> 0:14:13.520
<v Speaker 2>me twice, shame on me for me three times. I'm

0:14:13.520 --> 0:14:16.840
<v Speaker 2>a fucking idiot. I felt like I need to go

0:14:16.880 --> 0:14:19.400
<v Speaker 2>to Ikea and buy a bucket. Firstly, I don't think

0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:21.280
<v Speaker 2>that's a real saying. You made it up. Oh ma,

0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:23.840
<v Speaker 2>it's pretty pretty accurate. Actually, okay, let me just talk

0:14:23.880 --> 0:14:25.800
<v Speaker 2>you through it. I just felt like I had something

0:14:25.800 --> 0:14:27.040
<v Speaker 2>to prove to myself, Like.

0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:29.680
<v Speaker 1>I mean, on my own. I don't need someone in

0:14:29.720 --> 0:14:31.560
<v Speaker 1>this house with me. I don't need a man right now.

0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:36.720
<v Speaker 2>I can do it. But I couldn't, and I had

0:14:36.720 --> 0:14:38.600
<v Speaker 2>to accept defeat. I went to Bunnies the next day.

0:14:38.600 --> 0:14:41.160
<v Speaker 2>I got some tools. I cannot wait to see your apartment.

0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:43.160
<v Speaker 2>And I really hope that your landlord doesn't listen to

0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:45.480
<v Speaker 2>this podcast I had. I did have a breakdown.

0:14:45.560 --> 0:14:48.640
<v Speaker 1>I did sit in the puddle for a while and

0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:50.640
<v Speaker 1>I cried and I just had to lend it out

0:14:50.640 --> 0:14:53.000
<v Speaker 1>because it'd been very stressful few days. Then I got

0:14:53.000 --> 0:14:56.160
<v Speaker 1>my shit together, I got changed because I was wet, kept.

0:14:55.920 --> 0:15:00.600
<v Speaker 2>Going on my merryway. Bloody hell, I know what, I'm doozy.

0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:04.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm exhausted, kay, same I'm not moving for the next

0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:07.360
<v Speaker 2>twenty five years. Well, I'm proud of you. I feel

0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:08.920
<v Speaker 2>like when you're moving and you're on your own, it's

0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:10.800
<v Speaker 2>one of the times it really highlights how it would

0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:14.440
<v Speaker 2>be very nice to have a man around. Oh absolutely,

0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:16.240
<v Speaker 2>and like I'm all for I can do this on

0:15:16.240 --> 0:15:19.440
<v Speaker 2>my own, but they are literally, physically some things you

0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:21.600
<v Speaker 2>can't do on your own, and it's it's frustrating things

0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:23.440
<v Speaker 2>that's like I really was I just really need to

0:15:24.000 --> 0:15:26.640
<v Speaker 2>lift this to put something under it, for example, but

0:15:26.680 --> 0:15:27.040
<v Speaker 2>I can't.

0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:28.760
<v Speaker 1>There's so much I can't do because you just need

0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:30.680
<v Speaker 1>a second body there. It's not even a man, it's

0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:31.480
<v Speaker 1>a second body.

0:15:31.560 --> 0:15:33.200
<v Speaker 2>But it makes you so much more like, it makes

0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:35.160
<v Speaker 2>you so much more adaptable and resilient, like you want

0:15:35.160 --> 0:15:37.240
<v Speaker 2>to do things on your own, Whereas I feel like

0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:39.720
<v Speaker 2>now because I have Matt, it's made me so lazy.

0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:42.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't do anything. I'm like, oh, the TV's broken.

0:15:42.200 --> 0:15:43.920
<v Speaker 2>She's like, you've got to turn it on. Laura like,

0:15:44.440 --> 0:15:47.880
<v Speaker 2>fuck up, can't figure it out. You're better do that, pal,

0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:51.400
<v Speaker 2>it's broken again. It's just made me so even like

0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:53.480
<v Speaker 2>with my computer, I'm gonna turn into one of those

0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:55.680
<v Speaker 2>old people that don't know how to use technology purely

0:15:55.720 --> 0:15:58.520
<v Speaker 2>because anytime I need to do anything, I'm like Matt,

0:15:59.160 --> 0:16:00.560
<v Speaker 2>fix it. That's what I do with you.

0:16:00.600 --> 0:16:02.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, Laura, I can't walk into this thing.

0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:05.000
<v Speaker 2>What does that mean? I'm literally your boyfriend. You're my boyfriend.

0:16:05.000 --> 0:16:07.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm your boyfriend. Yeah, you are? You are? Ah, I

0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:09.160
<v Speaker 2>don't know. That's where we are. So that was it.

0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:12.320
<v Speaker 1>So I'm in, guys, but I'm far from settled. Hopefully

0:16:12.320 --> 0:16:14.040
<v Speaker 1>it will come a time to be alive.

0:16:14.160 --> 0:16:14.440
<v Speaker 2>Guys.

0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:17.960
<v Speaker 1>All right, let's get into our favorite segment for today's episode.

0:16:18.000 --> 0:16:21.120
<v Speaker 2>We're going to be talking about love languages. Now, it's

0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:23.240
<v Speaker 2>a topic that I'm sure you've heard about at some

0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:25.400
<v Speaker 2>point in the past, but maybe we're going to talk

0:16:25.440 --> 0:16:29.280
<v Speaker 2>about it with renewed and refreshed information. Maybe not, but

0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:32.040
<v Speaker 2>we hope that we can bring to you within a

0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:34.120
<v Speaker 2>new interesting life. But before we get into that, we're

0:16:34.160 --> 0:16:37.240
<v Speaker 2>going to do our favorite part of the episode, which

0:16:37.320 --> 0:16:40.880
<v Speaker 2>is accidentally unfiltered, and that is when you, guys write

0:16:40.880 --> 0:16:44.520
<v Speaker 2>in your most embarrassing stories and we laugh at you.

0:16:46.160 --> 0:16:49.640
<v Speaker 2>That's pretty much it favorite pastime and Laura, You've got

0:16:49.680 --> 0:16:51.680
<v Speaker 2>a goodie. This so really nice. When we laugh at

0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:54.080
<v Speaker 2>you and not at me, which for change is you know,

0:16:54.520 --> 0:16:56.080
<v Speaker 2>it's a brilliant chance. It's good to me. All right,

0:16:56.160 --> 0:16:57.840
<v Speaker 2>let me find this one, Let me find this bad boy.

0:16:58.040 --> 0:17:02.160
<v Speaker 2>I've always found it nicely lever. Okay, that was a

0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:11.480
<v Speaker 2>hard sentence, wasn't it, Fuck you. I've always found it

0:17:11.600 --> 0:17:14.200
<v Speaker 2>nice to keep some succulents by the window. They're easy

0:17:14.240 --> 0:17:15.720
<v Speaker 2>to care for, and they add a little bit of

0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:18.400
<v Speaker 2>greenery to your room. Back in October, I decided I'd

0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:21.520
<v Speaker 2>spend thirty five dollars on a set of four small succulents.

0:17:21.760 --> 0:17:24.200
<v Speaker 2>I know succulents don't need much water, so it'd only

0:17:24.200 --> 0:17:26.360
<v Speaker 2>water them once every three weeks or so. I found

0:17:26.400 --> 0:17:28.920
<v Speaker 2>it odd that the water didn't really disintegrate into the soil.

0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:30.879
<v Speaker 2>Instead it kind of just sat on the top in

0:17:30.920 --> 0:17:33.800
<v Speaker 2>a little pool and then it absorbed in. But anyway,

0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:35.840
<v Speaker 2>I figured that they were small and they don't need

0:17:35.920 --> 0:17:39.000
<v Speaker 2>much water. I left over Christmas, and I was worried

0:17:39.000 --> 0:17:40.760
<v Speaker 2>about my succulents and how they were going to hold

0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:43.400
<v Speaker 2>up without any water. Much to my delight, I came

0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:46.199
<v Speaker 2>back and they looked as healthy as ever, just as

0:17:46.200 --> 0:17:48.960
<v Speaker 2>the day I bought them. How resilient this little plant is.

0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:53.040
<v Speaker 2>I continued watering the succulents for months each month. This

0:17:53.080 --> 0:17:55.240
<v Speaker 2>is a long one, guy, stay with me, but I'm

0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:58.199
<v Speaker 2>here for it. I continued watering the succulents for months,

0:17:58.440 --> 0:18:00.560
<v Speaker 2>each month, giving just the ride and the water that

0:18:00.560 --> 0:18:02.159
<v Speaker 2>would float on the surface for a little while and

0:18:02.200 --> 0:18:04.880
<v Speaker 2>they would absorb into the soil. I must be doing

0:18:04.880 --> 0:18:07.080
<v Speaker 2>a great job, I thought, because they still looked so

0:18:07.160 --> 0:18:10.200
<v Speaker 2>awesome after eight months of purchase. I took real internal

0:18:10.200 --> 0:18:13.280
<v Speaker 2>pride in my little succulents until the day I left

0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:15.280
<v Speaker 2>on a holiday and got my housemates to take care

0:18:15.280 --> 0:18:18.400
<v Speaker 2>of them. Anyway, I don't know where this is going,

0:18:18.400 --> 0:18:23.479
<v Speaker 2>but I'm like anyway. I was overseas when I received

0:18:23.480 --> 0:18:26.960
<v Speaker 2>a FaceTime call from my housemate who said, are you

0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:35.960
<v Speaker 2>fucking kidding me? Your succulents are plastic. She even then said, look,

0:18:36.040 --> 0:18:38.280
<v Speaker 2>if you look closely, you can see the glue, which

0:18:38.320 --> 0:18:40.840
<v Speaker 2>she pointed out to me, and yep, there it was,

0:18:41.200 --> 0:18:44.879
<v Speaker 2>the glue on the bottom of the cuculent. Anyway, it

0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:47.520
<v Speaker 2>turns out that I've just spent eight months watering four

0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:52.320
<v Speaker 2>little plastic succulents. Fuck my life. I love that so

0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:54.199
<v Speaker 2>much because I feel like there are a lot of

0:18:54.240 --> 0:18:56.880
<v Speaker 2>girls that would be in this position. No, I don't

0:18:56.920 --> 0:18:59.920
<v Speaker 2>think there are, but I actually loved it. Trying to optimistic.

0:19:00.000 --> 0:19:02.760
<v Speaker 2>That's I think that this is This is like the sweetest,

0:19:02.800 --> 0:19:06.480
<v Speaker 2>most inoffensive, accidentally unfiltered that we've ever received. It's also

0:19:06.520 --> 0:19:08.520
<v Speaker 2>one of the dumbest. But I love it so much.

0:19:08.560 --> 0:19:11.040
<v Speaker 2>I love it so much. Like I like it after

0:19:11.080 --> 0:19:13.680
<v Speaker 2>eight months you never questioned why it hadn't grown. That's

0:19:13.720 --> 0:19:15.760
<v Speaker 2>the thing that really gets me. It's a real kicker.

0:19:16.000 --> 0:19:19.439
<v Speaker 1>What does she think the chunks of shiny, thick glue

0:19:19.480 --> 0:19:22.440
<v Speaker 1>were plants can be really really stic these days.

0:19:22.320 --> 0:19:24.919
<v Speaker 2>Those plicy plants sometimes like a fool. I think I

0:19:24.960 --> 0:19:26.919
<v Speaker 2>need to get plastic plants because I cannot keep my

0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:31.000
<v Speaker 2>own alive. Anyway. Ah, that was I enjoyed that, Bretti.

0:19:31.280 --> 0:19:33.760
<v Speaker 2>Do you have an accidentally unfiltered for me? Whne's not?

0:19:33.840 --> 0:19:40.399
<v Speaker 2>It's funny now what a Oh my god. The amount

0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:42.840
<v Speaker 2>of messages that we get every week because of Britney's

0:19:42.880 --> 0:19:46.000
<v Speaker 2>laugh is Honestly, it's like one of my favorite things

0:19:46.040 --> 0:19:47.720
<v Speaker 2>to read in the reviews. It's one of my favorite

0:19:47.720 --> 0:19:49.719
<v Speaker 2>things to read in the Facebook group. But britt your

0:19:49.760 --> 0:19:52.640
<v Speaker 2>laugh brings me and everybody who listens to this podcast

0:19:52.680 --> 0:19:55.160
<v Speaker 2>so much joy I just want to like really make

0:19:55.200 --> 0:19:58.080
<v Speaker 2>you aware of how great it is. And I think

0:19:58.080 --> 0:20:00.080
<v Speaker 2>the half the time I laugh, I'm not even laughing

0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:03.600
<v Speaker 2>at what's been written in I'm laughing at you, guys.

0:20:03.600 --> 0:20:04.720
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if I ever told you this. That

0:20:04.880 --> 0:20:07.840
<v Speaker 2>was once a day where I tried so hard to

0:20:07.880 --> 0:20:11.280
<v Speaker 2>contain my laugh and not let it be who it

0:20:11.320 --> 0:20:13.680
<v Speaker 2>wants to be. I wasn't letting my laugh be its

0:20:13.680 --> 0:20:14.240
<v Speaker 2>best self.

0:20:14.240 --> 0:20:16.720
<v Speaker 1>I wasn't because I was so embarrassed by it, because

0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:19.879
<v Speaker 1>it's pretty in your face and it's pretty loud, and

0:20:19.920 --> 0:20:20.680
<v Speaker 1>I wish us to hide it.

0:20:20.680 --> 0:20:21.520
<v Speaker 2>And I remember when on the Bachelor.

0:20:21.560 --> 0:20:24.240
<v Speaker 1>Originally my family were like, Brett, do you best to

0:20:24.240 --> 0:20:25.840
<v Speaker 1>try and keep that laugh under wraps?

0:20:25.880 --> 0:20:27.600
<v Speaker 2>And now I've just let it. I can't control it.

0:20:27.600 --> 0:20:29.760
<v Speaker 2>Like it's just it's out. It's living its best life.

0:20:31.280 --> 0:20:34.359
<v Speaker 2>It's very staccato and it really punctuates the air. But

0:20:34.640 --> 0:20:37.880
<v Speaker 2>I think every single person who hears it, every single

0:20:37.920 --> 0:20:40.440
<v Speaker 2>person who hears it, is here for it. I'm here

0:20:40.480 --> 0:20:42.399
<v Speaker 2>for it. Well, I don't want to reassure you that

0:20:42.480 --> 0:20:45.199
<v Speaker 2>I am here for it. And I appreciate that thank

0:20:45.240 --> 0:20:47.080
<v Speaker 2>you for your support. You're welcome. Okay, Now bring me

0:20:47.080 --> 0:20:48.120
<v Speaker 2>in accidentally unfiltered.

0:20:49.080 --> 0:20:51.480
<v Speaker 1>I am a goody for you. Bear with me because

0:20:51.480 --> 0:20:55.879
<v Speaker 1>I'm just gonna summarize this story. So this girl's driving

0:20:55.920 --> 0:20:57.960
<v Speaker 1>to her boyfriend's house and she's driving her mum and

0:20:57.960 --> 0:20:59.600
<v Speaker 1>a dad over because they're going to have like this

0:20:59.760 --> 0:21:03.440
<v Speaker 1>great family little bonding dinner. Now, because she's driving, she's

0:21:03.480 --> 0:21:06.840
<v Speaker 1>given a mom a phone and she's like, text my partner,

0:21:06.960 --> 0:21:09.879
<v Speaker 1>text the guy on my behalf. So they're doing really

0:21:09.920 --> 0:21:12.520
<v Speaker 1>innocent texting, and the mom's reading out what he's saying,

0:21:12.640 --> 0:21:14.680
<v Speaker 1>and he's like, do we need pasta for dinner?

0:21:15.000 --> 0:21:16.399
<v Speaker 2>Do we need this? Guineman pick up this?

0:21:16.560 --> 0:21:19.000
<v Speaker 1>And she's saying, just write this back, Mom, write this back,

0:21:19.000 --> 0:21:22.760
<v Speaker 1>and it's a super innocent conversation. Then all of a sudden,

0:21:25.280 --> 0:21:29.600
<v Speaker 1>out of nowhere, he decides to go rogue and sends

0:21:29.600 --> 0:21:33.200
<v Speaker 1>a photo of his dick with those little googly eye

0:21:33.200 --> 0:21:38.040
<v Speaker 1>things that you can get for arts and crafts, and

0:21:38.119 --> 0:21:40.440
<v Speaker 1>he stuck the eyes on the end of his venis

0:21:40.960 --> 0:21:42.120
<v Speaker 1>and set the photo.

0:21:41.800 --> 0:21:43.680
<v Speaker 2>In the middle of it, like, do we need pasta

0:21:43.880 --> 0:21:46.119
<v Speaker 2>for dinner? To the mom because he doesn't know the

0:21:46.160 --> 0:21:50.480
<v Speaker 2>mom's texting, Oh my god. The mom has screamed, basically

0:21:50.560 --> 0:21:53.960
<v Speaker 2>thrown the phone. She's like, I just I just saw

0:21:54.000 --> 0:21:56.840
<v Speaker 2>a photo of your partner's dick with eyes on it.

0:21:56.920 --> 0:21:59.359
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what's happening. We can't go to dinner. What.

0:22:00.040 --> 0:22:01.480
<v Speaker 2>She's like, what do you mean you to thaw a

0:22:01.480 --> 0:22:03.200
<v Speaker 2>photo with his dick? And she showed her the photo.

0:22:03.240 --> 0:22:04.080
<v Speaker 2>She's like, oh yeah.

0:22:04.920 --> 0:22:08.200
<v Speaker 1>Anyway, they're almost at the house, so they're mortified.

0:22:08.320 --> 0:22:10.040
<v Speaker 2>They're like, what do we do? Pull it together. Let's

0:22:10.040 --> 0:22:12.520
<v Speaker 2>just have dinner. So they're trying to I want to

0:22:12.520 --> 0:22:14.600
<v Speaker 2>know if the guy knows about this year, so they're not.

0:22:14.720 --> 0:22:16.359
<v Speaker 2>They don't. They're only just getting to the door, and

0:22:16.359 --> 0:22:18.480
<v Speaker 2>they're like, pull it together, let's get through this dinner.

0:22:18.520 --> 0:22:19.320
<v Speaker 2>So they get in there.

0:22:19.320 --> 0:22:21.800
<v Speaker 1>At the dinner table, no one says anything. The whole time,

0:22:22.560 --> 0:22:24.440
<v Speaker 1>the guy is just having a great old laugh. He's

0:22:24.480 --> 0:22:26.640
<v Speaker 1>trying to like impress the parents. He's trying to make

0:22:26.680 --> 0:22:27.920
<v Speaker 1>them laugh and have a good old time.

0:22:27.920 --> 0:22:28.760
<v Speaker 2>No one says anything.

0:22:29.359 --> 0:22:30.920
<v Speaker 1>Then when they get up to leave and they walk

0:22:30.960 --> 0:22:34.199
<v Speaker 1>out the door, he hears the mom say, but I

0:22:34.200 --> 0:22:35.560
<v Speaker 1>don't understand why he put.

0:22:35.440 --> 0:22:43.040
<v Speaker 2>The eyes on it. Wait, So that's how we found out.

0:22:43.640 --> 0:22:46.359
<v Speaker 2>So he overheard them walking out of the house be

0:22:46.560 --> 0:22:48.400
<v Speaker 2>talking to each other, being like, I still just don't

0:22:48.440 --> 0:22:50.919
<v Speaker 2>understand why he put the eyes of oh my god.

0:22:51.480 --> 0:22:54.119
<v Speaker 1>And then also obviously he hears this she comes back in,

0:22:54.240 --> 0:22:56.480
<v Speaker 1>he's like, theybe want to explain.

0:22:56.160 --> 0:22:59.640
<v Speaker 2>That comment, like he would just think that she'd shown

0:22:59.640 --> 0:23:02.680
<v Speaker 2>her mom. Hey, mom, look at the giggly I did

0:23:02.720 --> 0:23:04.840
<v Speaker 2>think I just got So this is who you meet.

0:23:04.880 --> 0:23:07.080
<v Speaker 2>And he's got great abs, nice haird likes long walks

0:23:07.119 --> 0:23:08.480
<v Speaker 2>on the beach, and this is his deck. Oh and

0:23:08.560 --> 0:23:11.560
<v Speaker 2>he's really funny. See mom, See he's so funny Tom.

0:23:11.560 --> 0:23:18.239
<v Speaker 2>He's got really great eyes. Look, maybe we should get

0:23:18.280 --> 0:23:21.080
<v Speaker 2>into the topic for today. Yeah, okay, on that note,

0:23:21.240 --> 0:23:23.720
<v Speaker 2>Sorry about that, guys, but we're gonna we're gonna jomp

0:23:23.800 --> 0:23:24.040
<v Speaker 2>right in.

0:23:24.119 --> 0:23:27.240
<v Speaker 1>Hey, thanks for writing those in. Keep sending them because

0:23:27.280 --> 0:23:30.360
<v Speaker 1>we actually, as you can tell, love them. They make

0:23:30.480 --> 0:23:33.359
<v Speaker 1>our day. So keep them coming. Let's get in to

0:23:33.880 --> 0:23:34.480
<v Speaker 1>the topic.

0:23:34.840 --> 0:23:38.000
<v Speaker 2>We actually had a request for a full episode of

0:23:38.040 --> 0:23:41.159
<v Speaker 2>Accidentally Unfiltered's, which maybe next time we have to do

0:23:41.160 --> 0:23:43.199
<v Speaker 2>a bonus episode. That is what we're gonna do. We're

0:23:43.240 --> 0:23:46.080
<v Speaker 2>gonna just put together and save some of the absolute

0:23:46.160 --> 0:23:49.000
<v Speaker 2>best which is kind of like the worst stories and

0:23:49.080 --> 0:23:50.920
<v Speaker 2>put them into an episode just for you. If anyone

0:23:50.920 --> 0:23:52.880
<v Speaker 2>would like that, maybe send us a DM and tell

0:23:52.960 --> 0:23:54.480
<v Speaker 2>us if that's something that you would want, hit us

0:23:54.520 --> 0:23:55.880
<v Speaker 2>up on Instagram, because.

0:23:55.880 --> 0:23:57.720
<v Speaker 1>You guys have got to send us. Yeah, we need

0:23:57.760 --> 0:24:00.240
<v Speaker 1>your dirtier story. You can come to say story that

0:24:00.280 --> 0:24:01.080
<v Speaker 1>you say to yourself.

0:24:01.200 --> 0:24:02.880
<v Speaker 2>I need to bury this so no one can ever

0:24:02.920 --> 0:24:04.639
<v Speaker 2>ever hear it. That's what we want. Like maybe you

0:24:04.680 --> 0:24:06.600
<v Speaker 2>lost a butt plug and spent seven hours in the

0:24:06.600 --> 0:24:08.760
<v Speaker 2>shower trying to find it. I want to know about this.

0:24:09.040 --> 0:24:11.000
<v Speaker 2>I want to notice more about the I Dick pic.

0:24:12.000 --> 0:24:13.520
<v Speaker 1>So, guys, we did mention that we're going to talk

0:24:13.560 --> 0:24:16.080
<v Speaker 1>about love languages today and I think that that's a

0:24:16.119 --> 0:24:19.439
<v Speaker 1>really cool, fun important topic. And I don't know if

0:24:19.440 --> 0:24:21.399
<v Speaker 1>anyone has ever done the tests or anything like that

0:24:21.480 --> 0:24:23.359
<v Speaker 1>you can find out what you love language is. We

0:24:23.400 --> 0:24:25.240
<v Speaker 1>will get into that in a minute, but we thought

0:24:25.240 --> 0:24:27.800
<v Speaker 1>this would be a really nice topic to go back

0:24:27.840 --> 0:24:31.040
<v Speaker 1>to and just really delve into what makes you tick,

0:24:31.119 --> 0:24:33.560
<v Speaker 1>what makes your partner tick. It's also a really nice

0:24:33.560 --> 0:24:36.080
<v Speaker 1>topic to kind of follow on from last week's big episode,

0:24:36.080 --> 0:24:39.040
<v Speaker 1>which was our breakup Bible. And that is because often

0:24:39.080 --> 0:24:41.919
<v Speaker 1>a lot of relationships break down because you have mismatched

0:24:41.960 --> 0:24:45.800
<v Speaker 1>love languages and you're not really communicating, receiving, or feeling

0:24:45.880 --> 0:24:48.440
<v Speaker 1>love because maybe your partner's displaying it in a way

0:24:48.480 --> 0:24:51.000
<v Speaker 1>that's not a way that you feel loved by. If

0:24:51.000 --> 0:24:53.320
<v Speaker 1>that makes sense, it will make sense because we're going

0:24:53.400 --> 0:24:56.199
<v Speaker 1>to get into it. But also if you're single and

0:24:56.240 --> 0:24:58.639
<v Speaker 1>you're looking for a new relationship, these are things to

0:24:58.680 --> 0:25:00.960
<v Speaker 1>really be aware of and conversation to have early on

0:25:01.000 --> 0:25:03.159
<v Speaker 1>in a relationship so that you can make sure that

0:25:03.200 --> 0:25:05.800
<v Speaker 1>you're growing together and that you're both satisfying each other's

0:25:06.119 --> 0:25:09.440
<v Speaker 1>love language, which is how people really feel and receive love.

0:25:09.640 --> 0:25:11.959
<v Speaker 1>Everything in the world is changing, and it is a

0:25:12.040 --> 0:25:15.160
<v Speaker 1>really hard time for love right now. It's a hard

0:25:15.200 --> 0:25:17.280
<v Speaker 1>time to find new love. It's a hard time to

0:25:17.359 --> 0:25:19.560
<v Speaker 1>maintain the love you're in. It's just it's a really,

0:25:19.600 --> 0:25:21.920
<v Speaker 1>really tumultuous time, which is why we thought it'd be

0:25:22.000 --> 0:25:24.840
<v Speaker 1>nice to delve into it. So there are five love languages,

0:25:24.880 --> 0:25:28.280
<v Speaker 1>and the concept of this stemmed from New York Times

0:25:28.440 --> 0:25:32.920
<v Speaker 1>number one best selling book titled The Five Love Languages.

0:25:33.359 --> 0:25:36.160
<v Speaker 1>It's written by a man called doctor Gary Chapman, and

0:25:36.320 --> 0:25:38.960
<v Speaker 1>it's an approach to showing and receiving love that will

0:25:38.960 --> 0:25:41.760
<v Speaker 1>help you experience this deeper and richer level of love

0:25:41.800 --> 0:25:44.520
<v Speaker 1>and help you maintain love for a longer period of time.

0:25:44.720 --> 0:25:46.359
<v Speaker 2>So we're going to get into what the different five

0:25:46.400 --> 0:25:48.080
<v Speaker 2>love languages are that we're going to talk a little

0:25:48.080 --> 0:25:51.200
<v Speaker 2>bit about what our love languages are. And also if

0:25:51.200 --> 0:25:53.520
<v Speaker 2>you haven't done it yourself, we really recommend going and

0:25:53.560 --> 0:25:55.639
<v Speaker 2>doing the test online. Literally, if you just type in

0:25:55.720 --> 0:25:58.640
<v Speaker 2>love Languages test, you can then sit down. It takes

0:25:58.680 --> 0:26:01.120
<v Speaker 2>about five minutes, ten minutes, I don't know, it depends

0:26:01.160 --> 0:26:03.640
<v Speaker 2>on how slow you read, but you can find out

0:26:03.680 --> 0:26:05.760
<v Speaker 2>what your love language is. It's it also gives you

0:26:05.800 --> 0:26:09.280
<v Speaker 2>the opportunity to do that with your partner to better

0:26:09.320 --> 0:26:11.560
<v Speaker 2>find out what love language they are, and it's also

0:26:11.640 --> 0:26:13.879
<v Speaker 2>just a really interesting conversation to have with them after

0:26:14.320 --> 0:26:16.400
<v Speaker 2>and also then kind of like pick out the little

0:26:16.400 --> 0:26:18.640
<v Speaker 2>bits and pieces of your relationship that maybe you could

0:26:18.680 --> 0:26:21.040
<v Speaker 2>both be working on better together. Well. Yeah, because the.

0:26:21.000 --> 0:26:24.240
<v Speaker 1>Fact is we all have different personality types and this

0:26:24.359 --> 0:26:26.760
<v Speaker 1>means that we feel love and give love differently. So

0:26:26.880 --> 0:26:29.000
<v Speaker 1>this is why it's really important to figure out what

0:26:29.040 --> 0:26:30.720
<v Speaker 1>your type is and what makes you tick so that

0:26:30.800 --> 0:26:32.119
<v Speaker 1>you know what you and your partner can have this

0:26:32.200 --> 0:26:33.159
<v Speaker 1>healthy relationship.

0:26:33.280 --> 0:26:35.480
<v Speaker 2>Before we get into all the love languages, brit What

0:26:35.600 --> 0:26:38.680
<v Speaker 2>is your like number one love language? My number one?

0:26:39.119 --> 0:26:40.760
<v Speaker 2>So did you do the order because it tells you

0:26:40.800 --> 0:26:43.040
<v Speaker 2>like the order? Yes, I know my order? Yeah, okay?

0:26:43.080 --> 0:26:46.040
<v Speaker 2>So my number one? Oh why don't you guess it?

0:26:46.160 --> 0:26:50.240
<v Speaker 2>Yours is touch? Yes, it is well done, and then

0:26:50.320 --> 0:26:52.919
<v Speaker 2>it is words of affirmation.

0:26:52.920 --> 0:26:56.720
<v Speaker 1>No incorrect, words of affirmation caming third, So my order

0:26:57.600 --> 0:27:02.800
<v Speaker 1>was physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time,

0:27:02.920 --> 0:27:04.480
<v Speaker 1>and then receiving gifts was last.

0:27:06.240 --> 0:27:07.720
<v Speaker 2>It's like I can't even date you, but I don't

0:27:07.720 --> 0:27:09.960
<v Speaker 2>even know you at all. Well, you got my first one,

0:27:10.000 --> 0:27:11.520
<v Speaker 2>all right? Do you want to know mine? Yeah? Can

0:27:11.560 --> 0:27:14.480
<v Speaker 2>I guess? I reckon? Your first one would have been

0:27:15.480 --> 0:27:19.240
<v Speaker 2>knowing where you are in life right now? Acts of service? No, no,

0:27:19.359 --> 0:27:24.000
<v Speaker 2>but close. My first one was alcohol and I think

0:27:24.040 --> 0:27:28.000
<v Speaker 2>you did the Dan Murphy's test. But bring me wine

0:27:28.640 --> 0:27:31.399
<v Speaker 2>and I will love you forever. No okay? So mine

0:27:31.440 --> 0:27:36.800
<v Speaker 2>were mine were quality time, and then my next one

0:27:36.880 --> 0:27:39.560
<v Speaker 2>was words of affirmation. Then it was acts of service,

0:27:39.840 --> 0:27:42.040
<v Speaker 2>and then it was physical touch, and then it was

0:27:42.119 --> 0:27:44.840
<v Speaker 2>receiving gifts. But I have a really interesting thing that

0:27:44.880 --> 0:27:46.640
<v Speaker 2>I want to talk about later on the episode once

0:27:46.680 --> 0:27:49.239
<v Speaker 2>we've gotten through what all of these are, and that

0:27:49.400 --> 0:27:52.160
<v Speaker 2>is that I think that your love languages change over time,

0:27:52.240 --> 0:27:55.199
<v Speaker 2>and they also are dynamic depending on where you're at

0:27:55.240 --> 0:27:57.679
<v Speaker 2>in your relationship. But I want to really flesh this

0:27:57.720 --> 0:27:59.439
<v Speaker 2>out with you because I think that this is like

0:28:00.080 --> 0:28:03.240
<v Speaker 2>ending on where you are with your partner, it really

0:28:03.280 --> 0:28:06.199
<v Speaker 2>impacts what you need from them. I absolutely agree.

0:28:06.320 --> 0:28:09.119
<v Speaker 1>I think so changed for me, but I imagine for you

0:28:09.200 --> 0:28:12.320
<v Speaker 1>going through your next life journey, your next huge chapter

0:28:12.520 --> 0:28:16.080
<v Speaker 1>from being single to a child and engaged, I imagine

0:28:16.080 --> 0:28:16.879
<v Speaker 1>it would be very different.

0:28:16.920 --> 0:28:18.560
<v Speaker 2>So that will be interesting. So let's get into that,

0:28:18.560 --> 0:28:21.119
<v Speaker 2>but not yet. Number one is words of affirmation. So

0:28:21.160 --> 0:28:24.359
<v Speaker 2>words of affirmation is like, maybe you really enjoy it

0:28:24.440 --> 0:28:26.359
<v Speaker 2>or need your partner to sort of to tell you

0:28:26.400 --> 0:28:29.399
<v Speaker 2>that they love you, to say and actually verbalize that

0:28:29.440 --> 0:28:31.919
<v Speaker 2>they think that you're pretty, or they're really proud of you,

0:28:32.359 --> 0:28:34.200
<v Speaker 2>or that you're you know, you're doing a great job.

0:28:34.280 --> 0:28:37.600
<v Speaker 2>You need to verbally and physically hear from them these

0:28:37.640 --> 0:28:40.680
<v Speaker 2>words in order to feel like you're in order to

0:28:40.680 --> 0:28:42.560
<v Speaker 2>feel like you're valued, and in order to feel like

0:28:42.600 --> 0:28:44.880
<v Speaker 2>they love you. That is like the number one of

0:28:44.920 --> 0:28:45.800
<v Speaker 2>the love languages.

0:28:46.080 --> 0:28:49.160
<v Speaker 1>Yep, that whole idea of you know, you should know

0:28:49.160 --> 0:28:50.680
<v Speaker 1>how much I love you. I shouldn't have to tell

0:28:50.680 --> 0:28:53.400
<v Speaker 1>you all the time, that doesn't fly with these people.

0:28:53.600 --> 0:28:56.080
<v Speaker 1>If that's if your love language is words of affirmation,

0:28:56.560 --> 0:29:00.000
<v Speaker 1>that's not enough. You need a partner to be verbal

0:29:00.200 --> 0:29:03.160
<v Speaker 1>with you and constantly. And it's not a it's not

0:29:03.240 --> 0:29:05.239
<v Speaker 1>a vanity thing, and it's not something to prop you up.

0:29:05.280 --> 0:29:07.440
<v Speaker 1>It's just that that's how you feel loved, so don't

0:29:07.480 --> 0:29:08.080
<v Speaker 1>confuse that.

0:29:08.280 --> 0:29:11.560
<v Speaker 2>And it's also not like for constant reassurance either, Like

0:29:11.600 --> 0:29:13.120
<v Speaker 2>I know that there are some people who feel like

0:29:13.160 --> 0:29:15.680
<v Speaker 2>they need to be told that they love because there

0:29:15.760 --> 0:29:18.200
<v Speaker 2>is a level of insecurity in their relationship. This can

0:29:18.240 --> 0:29:21.760
<v Speaker 2>be like very stable and very happy relationships. But some

0:29:21.800 --> 0:29:24.560
<v Speaker 2>people are very good at being very verbal, and then

0:29:24.640 --> 0:29:26.720
<v Speaker 2>some people aren't. I think this also grows for parents,

0:29:26.800 --> 0:29:28.520
<v Speaker 2>Like some people grow up with parents who are very

0:29:28.600 --> 0:29:30.960
<v Speaker 2>much like you know, a very find it very easy

0:29:30.960 --> 0:29:32.880
<v Speaker 2>to say I love you, And then I have friends

0:29:32.880 --> 0:29:36.080
<v Speaker 2>who have parents who don't really ever say I love you,

0:29:36.120 --> 0:29:37.920
<v Speaker 2>and when they say it to their parents, their parents

0:29:37.920 --> 0:29:41.080
<v Speaker 2>have said like, oh I know you do, or something

0:29:41.160 --> 0:29:45.880
<v Speaker 2>very like weirdly like what feels like a little bit

0:29:45.920 --> 0:29:49.600
<v Speaker 2>incompassionate or a little bit unloving back. But it's also

0:29:49.640 --> 0:29:52.520
<v Speaker 2>because these people display their love very differently. But words

0:29:52.520 --> 0:29:54.760
<v Speaker 2>of affirmation, I think, can be a really really big one,

0:29:54.800 --> 0:29:58.200
<v Speaker 2>and if it's not displayed and if people aren't receiving it,

0:29:58.280 --> 0:29:59.800
<v Speaker 2>they can very much feel unloved.

0:30:00.360 --> 0:30:02.960
<v Speaker 1>I have friends, and this blows my mind, but I

0:30:03.000 --> 0:30:06.240
<v Speaker 1>have friends whose parents have never said they love them.

0:30:06.280 --> 0:30:08.080
<v Speaker 1>And it's not because they don't love them, but they've

0:30:08.080 --> 0:30:10.600
<v Speaker 1>come from a generation where they didn't express love like that.

0:30:11.000 --> 0:30:13.040
<v Speaker 1>So they know they love them because they look after

0:30:13.040 --> 0:30:15.720
<v Speaker 1>them and house them and they do other things for them, whereas,

0:30:16.600 --> 0:30:19.240
<v Speaker 1>for example, my parents, my dad, he will call me

0:30:19.240 --> 0:30:20.880
<v Speaker 1>every day and he'll be like, hey, Possum, have I

0:30:20.920 --> 0:30:21.480
<v Speaker 1>told you today?

0:30:21.520 --> 0:30:22.000
<v Speaker 2>I love you?

0:30:22.040 --> 0:30:24.880
<v Speaker 1>Like just stuff like that. So it's when you start

0:30:24.920 --> 0:30:27.320
<v Speaker 1>to think about what we're talking about. You start to

0:30:27.320 --> 0:30:29.320
<v Speaker 1>look into the universe and everything that's around you and

0:30:29.360 --> 0:30:31.120
<v Speaker 1>the people around you, and you'll start to notice these

0:30:31.160 --> 0:30:33.120
<v Speaker 1>love languages in the people that are surrounding you.

0:30:33.240 --> 0:30:35.840
<v Speaker 2>It's really interesting, absolutely well, even when I think of

0:30:35.880 --> 0:30:38.240
<v Speaker 2>my own mum, and this was like a conversation that

0:30:38.640 --> 0:30:40.280
<v Speaker 2>I kind of got into with Matt when we were

0:30:40.280 --> 0:30:44.000
<v Speaker 2>talking about this, like, I like my mum and I

0:30:44.120 --> 0:30:46.760
<v Speaker 2>we have such a great relationship, and we as we've

0:30:46.760 --> 0:30:49.680
<v Speaker 2>gotten older, our relationship has gotten better, I think. But

0:30:50.120 --> 0:30:53.240
<v Speaker 2>there was definitely a period there where I didn't feel

0:30:53.800 --> 0:30:56.640
<v Speaker 2>as loved by her or like I didn't really feel

0:30:56.640 --> 0:30:59.680
<v Speaker 2>like we were as connected as what you should be

0:30:59.720 --> 0:31:02.160
<v Speaker 2>from and daughter, Like there was a real mismatch there.

0:31:02.280 --> 0:31:03.920
<v Speaker 2>It took like a little bit of age and a

0:31:03.960 --> 0:31:06.200
<v Speaker 2>little bit of wisdom to realize that my mom shows

0:31:06.480 --> 0:31:08.720
<v Speaker 2>how she loves me in very different ways. For example,

0:31:08.720 --> 0:31:10.440
<v Speaker 2>when I was at UNI, my mum would stay up

0:31:10.480 --> 0:31:12.720
<v Speaker 2>all night and do my referencing because I would do

0:31:12.760 --> 0:31:15.480
<v Speaker 2>my assignments last minute, and then part of my assessment

0:31:15.520 --> 0:31:18.080
<v Speaker 2>was that I needed to have these hectic references done,

0:31:18.160 --> 0:31:19.840
<v Speaker 2>and she would get up at like three in the

0:31:19.840 --> 0:31:21.520
<v Speaker 2>morning or four in the morning and she would do

0:31:21.640 --> 0:31:24.240
<v Speaker 2>all my referencing on my assignments for me. But she

0:31:24.360 --> 0:31:27.240
<v Speaker 2>may love yeah, like insanely right, but she may not

0:31:27.320 --> 0:31:29.800
<v Speaker 2>have verbalized it in a way that I needed it

0:31:29.840 --> 0:31:32.040
<v Speaker 2>at that time. And so I was kind of like

0:31:32.080 --> 0:31:33.479
<v Speaker 2>a bit I was kind of like a little bit

0:31:33.480 --> 0:31:36.840
<v Speaker 2>resentful in those years, almost and now when I look back,

0:31:36.880 --> 0:31:39.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, Wow, Mum showed me that she loved me

0:31:39.160 --> 0:31:42.240
<v Speaker 2>in so many ways. I just wasn't open to receiving that.

0:31:42.320 --> 0:31:45.320
<v Speaker 2>I was looking in all the wrong places. So that's

0:31:45.400 --> 0:31:47.320
<v Speaker 2>kind of what brings it back to how important it

0:31:47.360 --> 0:31:49.720
<v Speaker 2>is to really acknowledge, even if your love language is

0:31:49.760 --> 0:31:52.240
<v Speaker 2>are different to acknowledge when someone is showing you that

0:31:52.280 --> 0:31:53.760
<v Speaker 2>they love you, because maybe they're doing it in a

0:31:53.840 --> 0:31:55.400
<v Speaker 2>very different way to the way that you want to

0:31:55.440 --> 0:31:57.920
<v Speaker 2>receive it. Yeah, so maybe your mom's love language was

0:31:57.960 --> 0:32:00.760
<v Speaker 2>acts of service one hundred percent and still is. Like

0:32:00.920 --> 0:32:03.720
<v Speaker 2>that's like number at the top. My mum would make leotage,

0:32:03.720 --> 0:32:05.880
<v Speaker 2>she would drive us to sport, she would like get

0:32:05.960 --> 0:32:07.640
<v Speaker 2>up at four thirty am to make sure that we

0:32:07.640 --> 0:32:09.200
<v Speaker 2>were all up to do our sports in the morning.

0:32:09.280 --> 0:32:11.520
<v Speaker 2>Like she just did so many things for us and

0:32:11.560 --> 0:32:14.280
<v Speaker 2>she still does. And that is one hundred percent how

0:32:14.320 --> 0:32:16.560
<v Speaker 2>she shows her love. My mom's exactly the same.

0:32:16.640 --> 0:32:18.760
<v Speaker 1>She was never one to every day smother us and

0:32:18.760 --> 0:32:21.280
<v Speaker 1>say she loved us, but she went above and beyond

0:32:21.280 --> 0:32:23.800
<v Speaker 1>to do everything we ever needed, like we never wanted

0:32:23.880 --> 0:32:24.560
<v Speaker 1>or needed anything.

0:32:24.800 --> 0:32:26.640
<v Speaker 2>And that brings us into number two, which is acts

0:32:26.640 --> 0:32:29.120
<v Speaker 2>of service. So, like we just said, acts of service

0:32:29.200 --> 0:32:32.400
<v Speaker 2>is like this whole concept of action speak louder than words,

0:32:32.680 --> 0:32:35.560
<v Speaker 2>and it's it's a very dad thing. I think as well.

0:32:35.640 --> 0:32:38.560
<v Speaker 2>Acts of service it's the little things. It's like fixing

0:32:38.600 --> 0:32:41.080
<v Speaker 2>something for you. For example, Brittany, had you had a

0:32:41.080 --> 0:32:43.360
<v Speaker 2>boyfriend that could have come to your aid, he would

0:32:43.400 --> 0:32:45.160
<v Speaker 2>have fixed your washing machine, it would have been a

0:32:45.160 --> 0:32:48.240
<v Speaker 2>bloody welcome to active service. It's when your partner does

0:32:48.280 --> 0:32:50.320
<v Speaker 2>something for you. Maybe they cook you dinner, or maybe

0:32:50.320 --> 0:32:52.720
<v Speaker 2>they give you a massage. But it's like small actions

0:32:52.720 --> 0:32:55.040
<v Speaker 2>that they do which is their way of showing that

0:32:55.080 --> 0:32:55.520
<v Speaker 2>they love you.

0:32:55.800 --> 0:32:58.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it could be like washing doing something that you

0:32:58.360 --> 0:33:01.200
<v Speaker 1>know is gonna make your partner happy, or doing something

0:33:01.200 --> 0:33:03.920
<v Speaker 1>that you know is going to make your partner's life easier.

0:33:04.080 --> 0:33:06.560
<v Speaker 1>That's what it's about. It's not that you love doing it,

0:33:06.560 --> 0:33:09.080
<v Speaker 1>because you probably don't, but you know how much your

0:33:09.080 --> 0:33:10.600
<v Speaker 1>partner is going to appreciate it. You know how much

0:33:10.640 --> 0:33:12.800
<v Speaker 1>more it's going to make their life smoother, and that's

0:33:12.840 --> 0:33:13.520
<v Speaker 1>why you do it.

0:33:13.680 --> 0:33:15.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it could be something easier. It could be like,

0:33:15.480 --> 0:33:18.520
<v Speaker 2>you know, your partner organizes a service for your car,

0:33:18.640 --> 0:33:20.520
<v Speaker 2>or he puts petrol in your car, or just like

0:33:20.600 --> 0:33:24.080
<v Speaker 2>things that just genuinely make your day to day easier,

0:33:24.360 --> 0:33:27.400
<v Speaker 2>which sometimes I think acts of service can be really

0:33:27.440 --> 0:33:29.680
<v Speaker 2>overlooked in a relationship, and I think that this is

0:33:29.720 --> 0:33:31.560
<v Speaker 2>something that we really need to get into as well.

0:33:31.960 --> 0:33:34.880
<v Speaker 2>Acts of service is one of those things that gets

0:33:34.920 --> 0:33:38.080
<v Speaker 2>forgotten about because there becomes this expectation. For example, if

0:33:38.080 --> 0:33:40.320
<v Speaker 2>you cook dinner every single night for your partner, it

0:33:40.600 --> 0:33:43.240
<v Speaker 2>doesn't become seen it necessarily as being something that they're

0:33:43.280 --> 0:33:46.120
<v Speaker 2>grateful for because it's an expectation because you always cook

0:33:46.160 --> 0:33:48.760
<v Speaker 2>dinner every night. And so I do think that sometimes

0:33:48.800 --> 0:33:52.760
<v Speaker 2>acts of service can be very quickly overlooked as a

0:33:52.800 --> 0:33:54.920
<v Speaker 2>form of showing love. Absolutely agree.

0:33:54.960 --> 0:33:57.480
<v Speaker 1>And also I think when you're doing this, it shouldn't

0:33:57.480 --> 0:33:59.360
<v Speaker 1>be chure. So you need to keep it in mind

0:33:59.560 --> 0:34:01.720
<v Speaker 1>that you're doing it because you love them, and you're

0:34:01.720 --> 0:34:04.240
<v Speaker 1>doing it with a positive vibe and you have happiness,

0:34:05.720 --> 0:34:06.640
<v Speaker 1>and you have happiness in.

0:34:06.640 --> 0:34:08.800
<v Speaker 2>Your intent and it's genuine.

0:34:09.200 --> 0:34:10.640
<v Speaker 1>When you're doing it out of obligation or it has

0:34:10.680 --> 0:34:12.560
<v Speaker 1>a negative tone attached to it, that's when you sort

0:34:12.560 --> 0:34:15.920
<v Speaker 1>of lose sight and your relationship. It won't have the

0:34:15.920 --> 0:34:18.200
<v Speaker 1>same effect because you're doing it because you feel like

0:34:18.239 --> 0:34:20.640
<v Speaker 1>you have to, not because you want to, and make

0:34:20.680 --> 0:34:22.520
<v Speaker 1>sure you're not doing anything out of obligation.

0:34:22.760 --> 0:34:26.759
<v Speaker 2>Number three Laura receiving gifts. So I think that like

0:34:26.800 --> 0:34:28.879
<v Speaker 2>this is one of the ones that people think can

0:34:28.920 --> 0:34:31.960
<v Speaker 2>be very materialistic, and I think that, like often people

0:34:32.040 --> 0:34:35.120
<v Speaker 2>are afraid to say, oh, gifts is my love language.

0:34:35.160 --> 0:34:38.200
<v Speaker 2>By me thinks I like handbags. Yeah, handbags are my

0:34:38.239 --> 0:34:40.440
<v Speaker 2>love language. I left my gift list on the fridge.

0:34:40.640 --> 0:34:42.719
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't need to be expensive stuff. When we say gifts,

0:34:42.760 --> 0:34:44.680
<v Speaker 2>we're not talking about you need a Chanelle handbag. We're

0:34:44.719 --> 0:34:46.840
<v Speaker 2>not saying that you're some boujie bitch that needs to

0:34:46.880 --> 0:34:50.480
<v Speaker 2>have everything brought for you. That's not what this part

0:34:50.560 --> 0:34:53.040
<v Speaker 2>of the love languages is. It could be that when

0:34:53.080 --> 0:34:55.880
<v Speaker 2>your partner goes traveling, they always bring you back something,

0:34:56.000 --> 0:34:58.880
<v Speaker 2>and whether it's small totems or tokens of their affection,

0:34:58.960 --> 0:35:01.719
<v Speaker 2>it's just them wanting to remind you that they love you,

0:35:01.760 --> 0:35:03.520
<v Speaker 2>and they do that by buying flowers, or they do

0:35:03.600 --> 0:35:06.560
<v Speaker 2>that by bringing you home I don't know, a pastry,

0:35:06.680 --> 0:35:10.600
<v Speaker 2>or it can be something small. But these are also gifts, yes, sentimental.

0:35:10.719 --> 0:35:13.040
<v Speaker 1>Some of the best gifts I've ever been given have

0:35:13.160 --> 0:35:15.960
<v Speaker 1>cost nothing because they've been made, because they've been made

0:35:16.080 --> 0:35:19.120
<v Speaker 1>with me in mind, and they've been really thoughtful. But

0:35:19.239 --> 0:35:22.000
<v Speaker 1>having said that, these gifts don't have to be small

0:35:22.000 --> 0:35:24.839
<v Speaker 1>and sentimental. They can still be big, materialistic gifts. It's

0:35:24.880 --> 0:35:27.400
<v Speaker 1>just as long as you have your partner in mind

0:35:27.520 --> 0:35:29.400
<v Speaker 1>and it's something that you know they want, you know

0:35:29.480 --> 0:35:31.080
<v Speaker 1>they love. You're doing it because you know it's going

0:35:31.120 --> 0:35:33.040
<v Speaker 1>to make them happy and vice versa. They're doing it

0:35:33.040 --> 0:35:35.880
<v Speaker 1>for you for the same reason. But whatever it is, again,

0:35:36.200 --> 0:35:39.160
<v Speaker 1>don't be doing it because you're buying their love.

0:35:39.440 --> 0:35:41.320
<v Speaker 2>It's not about that. It's not about trying to win.

0:35:41.160 --> 0:35:44.759
<v Speaker 1>Them over and keep them in a relationship that I

0:35:44.800 --> 0:35:46.759
<v Speaker 1>want to be with because you're buying the materialistic things.

0:35:46.800 --> 0:35:49.000
<v Speaker 1>So again there's always these lines that you have to

0:35:49.000 --> 0:35:51.000
<v Speaker 1>be really careful when you're crossing gifts.

0:35:51.040 --> 0:35:53.880
<v Speaker 2>Is the tricky one in that if somebody if so

0:35:54.000 --> 0:35:57.160
<v Speaker 2>for me, gifts is so far down my list. When

0:35:57.200 --> 0:35:59.000
<v Speaker 2>we sat down and we did this online test, it

0:35:59.000 --> 0:36:01.640
<v Speaker 2>gives you a percentage mind as to like what percentage

0:36:02.080 --> 0:36:04.919
<v Speaker 2>each each love language means to you, and it lists

0:36:04.920 --> 0:36:06.920
<v Speaker 2>them from sort of one to five. But everybody has

0:36:07.000 --> 0:36:09.880
<v Speaker 2>like a dominant love language and a secondary love language.

0:36:10.080 --> 0:36:12.120
<v Speaker 2>Not only is gifts at the bottom of my list,

0:36:12.239 --> 0:36:15.359
<v Speaker 2>it rates a zero percent. Like for me, I do

0:36:15.360 --> 0:36:18.680
<v Speaker 2>not care about gifts. Go and unpack the fish washer,

0:36:18.719 --> 0:36:20.840
<v Speaker 2>and that is how I'm going to feel loved. But

0:36:21.000 --> 0:36:23.760
<v Speaker 2>I also think, as I said earlier in the episode,

0:36:23.800 --> 0:36:26.120
<v Speaker 2>that I think that it fluctuates and it's relative to

0:36:26.160 --> 0:36:28.160
<v Speaker 2>the relationship that you're in. So this is a bit

0:36:28.200 --> 0:36:32.440
<v Speaker 2>of a backstory. But when I've spoken about this relationship before,

0:36:32.480 --> 0:36:34.440
<v Speaker 2>like I was with the guy for six years, and

0:36:34.680 --> 0:36:37.680
<v Speaker 2>he was the first person that I really really thought

0:36:37.920 --> 0:36:39.880
<v Speaker 2>this is the one, Like, this guy is the one,

0:36:40.040 --> 0:36:42.000
<v Speaker 2>And we had a we had a fairshi air of

0:36:42.120 --> 0:36:43.920
<v Speaker 2>ups and downs, like I tell you, but like I'm

0:36:43.920 --> 0:36:46.160
<v Speaker 2>not going to get into all that, but one thing,

0:36:46.200 --> 0:36:48.399
<v Speaker 2>that one thing that really stood out to me, and

0:36:49.400 --> 0:36:52.080
<v Speaker 2>the fact that I have a zero percent care for gifts,

0:36:52.120 --> 0:36:54.839
<v Speaker 2>but this still really really affected me. He never ever

0:36:54.880 --> 0:36:57.320
<v Speaker 2>bought me a present. He never bought me a Birthday present,

0:36:57.520 --> 0:36:59.719
<v Speaker 2>he never bought me a Christmas present, he never gave

0:36:59.760 --> 0:37:02.680
<v Speaker 2>me a card. And so in six years of being together,

0:37:02.920 --> 0:37:05.560
<v Speaker 2>I never ever received anything from him, and it became

0:37:05.560 --> 0:37:09.080
<v Speaker 2>this real point of contention because my love language is

0:37:09.160 --> 0:37:11.719
<v Speaker 2>shifted and it became something that became more important to

0:37:11.760 --> 0:37:14.040
<v Speaker 2>me because I felt that because I wasn't getting that

0:37:14.080 --> 0:37:16.840
<v Speaker 2>from him at all, and he wasn't even attempting to

0:37:16.880 --> 0:37:19.120
<v Speaker 2>satisfy that need that I had, even if it was

0:37:19.239 --> 0:37:22.759
<v Speaker 2>like the most minimally basic need. I was like, you don't.

0:37:22.920 --> 0:37:26.400
<v Speaker 2>You can't possibly love me like you are being so unthoughtful.

0:37:26.440 --> 0:37:28.600
<v Speaker 2>You're not thinking of me, you're not caring about me.

0:37:28.719 --> 0:37:32.200
<v Speaker 2>I just felt like I couldn't possibly be important to him,

0:37:32.239 --> 0:37:33.960
<v Speaker 2>even though he showed me in lots of other ways

0:37:33.960 --> 0:37:36.279
<v Speaker 2>that he loved me. Yeah, but okay, I'm going to

0:37:36.360 --> 0:37:36.839
<v Speaker 2>jump in here.

0:37:36.960 --> 0:37:39.760
<v Speaker 1>No, but even if your love language isn't gift giving

0:37:39.880 --> 0:37:43.240
<v Speaker 1>or receiving, you still buy someone you love a birthday

0:37:43.280 --> 0:37:45.920
<v Speaker 1>present the baseline of what you do like, you just

0:37:46.040 --> 0:37:47.560
<v Speaker 1>don't not do that.

0:37:47.560 --> 0:37:49.919
<v Speaker 2>That's what I'm saying is even though you may rate

0:37:50.120 --> 0:37:52.600
<v Speaker 2>so low on something like even if you have no

0:37:52.640 --> 0:37:55.120
<v Speaker 2>desire for one of these love languages, we all still

0:37:55.160 --> 0:37:57.840
<v Speaker 2>need all of these in some measure. Like you can't

0:37:57.880 --> 0:38:00.560
<v Speaker 2>just never give someone words of affirmation, can just not

0:38:00.840 --> 0:38:02.640
<v Speaker 2>You can't be with someone and never tell them that

0:38:02.680 --> 0:38:04.799
<v Speaker 2>you love them. You can't be with someone and never

0:38:04.880 --> 0:38:07.239
<v Speaker 2>do an acts of service for them. So even if

0:38:07.239 --> 0:38:09.719
<v Speaker 2>you are more dominant in one love language than the other,

0:38:10.160 --> 0:38:12.680
<v Speaker 2>you still need little bits of each because if you're

0:38:12.719 --> 0:38:16.640
<v Speaker 2>being completely deprived in one love language, then that love

0:38:16.719 --> 0:38:18.920
<v Speaker 2>language is going to move up in the list of priorities.

0:38:18.960 --> 0:38:21.160
<v Speaker 2>It's going to then become something that becomes important to

0:38:21.200 --> 0:38:23.520
<v Speaker 2>you because you're not receiving it at all. And so

0:38:23.640 --> 0:38:25.799
<v Speaker 2>that that was crazy to me because I don't care

0:38:25.840 --> 0:38:27.400
<v Speaker 2>about gifts at all. And then by the end of

0:38:27.400 --> 0:38:29.680
<v Speaker 2>our relationship, I was like, you don't love me, you

0:38:29.719 --> 0:38:32.480
<v Speaker 2>don't buy me anything. It's my birthday. You didn't even

0:38:32.480 --> 0:38:34.640
<v Speaker 2>give me a card, and I became really fixated on

0:38:35.120 --> 0:38:39.279
<v Speaker 2>not being given something. I have something similar my I

0:38:39.360 --> 0:38:43.120
<v Speaker 2>was just really angry. Then I was like, that was

0:38:43.160 --> 0:38:45.839
<v Speaker 2>really It was a really hard relationship and it made

0:38:45.880 --> 0:38:48.000
<v Speaker 2>me really angry. Guys, and I still think about the

0:38:48.000 --> 0:38:50.120
<v Speaker 2>fact that I got no gifts for six years. It

0:38:50.160 --> 0:38:52.040
<v Speaker 2>kind of hurts a little bit. Lauri, your therapy session

0:38:52.160 --> 0:38:54.320
<v Speaker 2>is over. Now back to the topic.

0:38:54.440 --> 0:38:58.439
<v Speaker 1>No, I my psychox relationship, he was exactly the same.

0:38:58.480 --> 0:39:01.320
<v Speaker 1>Gifts meant nothing to me, but it was like opposite

0:39:01.320 --> 0:39:02.879
<v Speaker 1>for you. When I sorry, when I say exactly the same.

0:39:02.920 --> 0:39:03.720
<v Speaker 1>It was nothing alike.

0:39:04.000 --> 0:39:06.520
<v Speaker 2>It was a total complete upset. But I mean he

0:39:06.880 --> 0:39:09.160
<v Speaker 2>would go to the extreme and he was constantly giving

0:39:09.200 --> 0:39:11.200
<v Speaker 2>me really big, expensive gifts.

0:39:11.320 --> 0:39:13.839
<v Speaker 1>But I soon worked out it was like a guilt thing.

0:39:13.920 --> 0:39:15.480
<v Speaker 1>It was when he had cheated on me or when

0:39:15.520 --> 0:39:17.440
<v Speaker 1>he had done the wrong thing, I would get this

0:39:17.520 --> 0:39:19.320
<v Speaker 1>gift and then I just thought he was like, it

0:39:19.360 --> 0:39:21.400
<v Speaker 1>didn't I didn't want them. It didn't mean anything to me.

0:39:21.480 --> 0:39:23.880
<v Speaker 1>But I was like, what an amazing guy he always

0:39:23.920 --> 0:39:25.400
<v Speaker 1>is thinking of me, But it's not.

0:39:25.520 --> 0:39:27.560
<v Speaker 2>It was. It was a guilt thing and it meant nothing.

0:39:27.600 --> 0:39:30.440
<v Speaker 2>So once I realized that, it took it away, it

0:39:30.480 --> 0:39:33.040
<v Speaker 2>took the magic away from it. And I think that's

0:39:33.080 --> 0:39:35.160
<v Speaker 2>why gifts don't really do what they used to do

0:39:35.239 --> 0:39:38.560
<v Speaker 2>for me now because I associate it now with it

0:39:38.640 --> 0:39:40.840
<v Speaker 2>not really being meaningful. I would rather someone give me

0:39:40.880 --> 0:39:43.879
<v Speaker 2>their time, because he was constantly canceling on me with time.

0:39:44.120 --> 0:39:46.800
<v Speaker 2>Would have a weekend away, he would cancel last minute.

0:39:46.920 --> 0:39:48.799
<v Speaker 2>Obviously he would say he had to work, but it

0:39:48.840 --> 0:39:50.719
<v Speaker 2>was because he was going and spending the weekend with

0:39:50.760 --> 0:39:54.480
<v Speaker 2>someone else. So then physical touch and time became my

0:39:55.000 --> 0:39:58.320
<v Speaker 2>top two because that's all I really craved the gifts

0:39:58.360 --> 0:40:00.720
<v Speaker 2>mean nothing could feel less about them. He was buying

0:40:00.719 --> 0:40:03.160
<v Speaker 2>my love, he was buying my trust and love. Like,

0:40:03.200 --> 0:40:06.120
<v Speaker 2>you're totally right. And I think in that which it's

0:40:06.160 --> 0:40:07.719
<v Speaker 2>so funny because I always thought gifts was like the

0:40:07.719 --> 0:40:10.920
<v Speaker 2>most boring one. I was like, oh, it's so those superficial,

0:40:10.960 --> 0:40:14.080
<v Speaker 2>But I actually think gifts is a really interesting love

0:40:14.160 --> 0:40:18.120
<v Speaker 2>language because it's something that people can put a lot

0:40:18.160 --> 0:40:19.920
<v Speaker 2>of time, a lot of energy, and a lot of

0:40:19.960 --> 0:40:23.880
<v Speaker 2>money into. And some people might buy very extravagant gifts,

0:40:24.080 --> 0:40:25.920
<v Speaker 2>and like I'm not saying that it's because they've cheated,

0:40:25.960 --> 0:40:28.239
<v Speaker 2>Like just in a relationship, someone might buy very very

0:40:28.280 --> 0:40:32.280
<v Speaker 2>extravagant gifts, might organize holidays, might do all these things.

0:40:32.280 --> 0:40:34.640
<v Speaker 2>But if your love language on the receiving end is

0:40:34.640 --> 0:40:37.600
<v Speaker 2>not gifts, kind of wasting your money, Like you don't

0:40:37.600 --> 0:40:40.799
<v Speaker 2>need to take someone out for dinner and do this massive, big, elaborate,

0:40:41.080 --> 0:40:44.440
<v Speaker 2>expensive show of affection when all that person's really craving

0:40:44.840 --> 0:40:49.240
<v Speaker 2>is quality time and touch and affection or words of affirmation.

0:40:49.360 --> 0:40:52.040
<v Speaker 2>I think that when there's this total mismatch in how

0:40:52.080 --> 0:40:55.759
<v Speaker 2>you're showing your love one, it can be detrimental the relationship.

0:40:55.800 --> 0:40:58.560
<v Speaker 2>But also it can be really fucking expensive in such

0:40:58.600 --> 0:40:59.600
<v Speaker 2>a waste of money.

0:41:00.120 --> 0:41:02.040
<v Speaker 1>She just put that away for a house to possit.

0:41:02.200 --> 0:41:04.640
<v Speaker 2>Yes, anyway, I just want someone to tell me that

0:41:04.640 --> 0:41:06.000
<v Speaker 2>they love me and give me a glass of wine.

0:41:06.000 --> 0:41:07.680
<v Speaker 2>I just want a culmination of everything. And I also

0:41:07.760 --> 0:41:09.000
<v Speaker 2>want them to do the washing and put the chart

0:41:09.040 --> 0:41:11.359
<v Speaker 2>to bed. Yeah yeah, rub my back, tell me I'm pretty,

0:41:11.400 --> 0:41:15.000
<v Speaker 2>and feed me once, hold my hand and tell me

0:41:15.040 --> 0:41:18.719
<v Speaker 2>I'm pretty. Feed the baby. So next is quality time

0:41:18.840 --> 0:41:21.480
<v Speaker 2>number four. Quality time and this love language, it's all

0:41:21.520 --> 0:41:24.680
<v Speaker 2>about giving someone your undivided attention.

0:41:25.239 --> 0:41:27.480
<v Speaker 1>If this is their love language, If undivided time is

0:41:27.480 --> 0:41:29.719
<v Speaker 1>their love language, they want to be the center of

0:41:29.800 --> 0:41:30.760
<v Speaker 1>your world.

0:41:31.040 --> 0:41:35.120
<v Speaker 2>No phones, no computers, no TV. Nothing.

0:41:35.200 --> 0:41:39.759
<v Speaker 1>They just want you to sit down, listen to them,

0:41:40.040 --> 0:41:41.879
<v Speaker 1>talk to them, be present for them.

0:41:42.120 --> 0:41:44.279
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and be invested in what they're saying as well.

0:41:44.360 --> 0:41:47.440
<v Speaker 2>I think it's one thing when your partner gives you

0:41:47.480 --> 0:41:50.319
<v Speaker 2>the scraps of their time, Like when they've finished work

0:41:50.360 --> 0:41:52.959
<v Speaker 2>and they've already spoken to their friends, and they've done dinner,

0:41:52.960 --> 0:41:54.600
<v Speaker 2>and they've done their sport and all this sort of stuff,

0:41:54.640 --> 0:41:57.160
<v Speaker 2>and they come home and they're too tired, but they

0:41:57.360 --> 0:41:59.600
<v Speaker 2>flop on the couch and watch a Netflix with you.

0:42:00.200 --> 0:42:03.560
<v Speaker 2>That's not quality time. Quality is your priority time. Quality

0:42:03.600 --> 0:42:05.760
<v Speaker 2>time is like there are other things that I could

0:42:05.760 --> 0:42:08.080
<v Speaker 2>be doing and I kind of want to do as well,

0:42:08.320 --> 0:42:11.560
<v Speaker 2>but you are the absolute number one, Before exercise, before food,

0:42:11.640 --> 0:42:14.279
<v Speaker 2>before whatever else it is. It's gonna be with you,

0:42:14.320 --> 0:42:16.640
<v Speaker 2>and I'm gonna incorporate all those other things with it,

0:42:16.680 --> 0:42:17.600
<v Speaker 2>but it's gonna be with you.

0:42:17.680 --> 0:42:21.680
<v Speaker 1>If your partner's love language is quality time, every time

0:42:21.840 --> 0:42:25.000
<v Speaker 1>you cancel a date or every time you postpone something,

0:42:25.080 --> 0:42:26.799
<v Speaker 1>or every time you say you can't talk on the

0:42:26.800 --> 0:42:30.120
<v Speaker 1>phone anymore as really hurtful to your partner and it

0:42:30.160 --> 0:42:32.440
<v Speaker 1>does make them feel like you don't love them. So

0:42:32.480 --> 0:42:34.640
<v Speaker 1>it's really something you consider. You need to figure out

0:42:34.680 --> 0:42:37.920
<v Speaker 1>if that's your partner's love language, take that into account.

0:42:38.000 --> 0:42:39.840
<v Speaker 2>If you're going to cancel a date, think do you

0:42:39.880 --> 0:42:40.480
<v Speaker 2>really have to?

0:42:40.600 --> 0:42:42.200
<v Speaker 1>Because it is going to affect them more than it

0:42:42.239 --> 0:42:44.800
<v Speaker 1>might affect you if that's not your love language.

0:42:44.920 --> 0:42:48.399
<v Speaker 2>So my number one love language is quality time. And

0:42:48.480 --> 0:42:51.279
<v Speaker 2>I think that that's because for us, like now that

0:42:51.320 --> 0:42:53.960
<v Speaker 2>we have a baby, the time that we get together

0:42:54.200 --> 0:42:57.719
<v Speaker 2>is not that quality and often we often we are

0:42:57.719 --> 0:43:00.560
<v Speaker 2>on our phones or we're occupied with work or like

0:43:00.600 --> 0:43:02.719
<v Speaker 2>one person has Mary and one person is trying to

0:43:02.719 --> 0:43:05.479
<v Speaker 2>get other things done in the house, and so it's

0:43:05.960 --> 0:43:07.799
<v Speaker 2>the time that we actually get to spend together mat

0:43:07.880 --> 0:43:10.240
<v Speaker 2>night and actually sit on the couch and be totally

0:43:10.280 --> 0:43:13.120
<v Speaker 2>present in each other's company is really minimal. So when

0:43:13.120 --> 0:43:15.320
<v Speaker 2>we do have the opportunity to be together and actually

0:43:15.400 --> 0:43:18.080
<v Speaker 2>like really invest in each other's time, like if one

0:43:18.120 --> 0:43:20.359
<v Speaker 2>of us is on the phone or a little bit disengaged,

0:43:20.600 --> 0:43:23.239
<v Speaker 2>it's really hurtful because those moments that we get to

0:43:23.280 --> 0:43:25.560
<v Speaker 2>have together are so few and far between now. Even

0:43:25.560 --> 0:43:29.400
<v Speaker 2>though we spend so much time together, very very minimal

0:43:29.480 --> 0:43:32.680
<v Speaker 2>time of that is actually quality time. Yeah, well, I

0:43:32.760 --> 0:43:34.080
<v Speaker 2>spent a lot of time on my own, but I

0:43:34.120 --> 0:43:36.680
<v Speaker 2>spent a lot of time with you. We spend a

0:43:36.680 --> 0:43:39.360
<v Speaker 2>lot of quality time together. The depth of our conversation.

0:43:39.520 --> 0:43:41.520
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes I'm like, I should talk to mad about this.

0:43:44.000 --> 0:43:45.759
<v Speaker 2>Doctor Chapman does say that if you do want to

0:43:45.760 --> 0:43:48.320
<v Speaker 2>show your partner some love and their language is quality

0:43:48.360 --> 0:43:52.080
<v Speaker 2>time to remember the three bees. Are you ready, I'm ready.

0:43:52.320 --> 0:43:55.360
<v Speaker 1>Be deliberate with your time, make a plan, don't do

0:43:55.440 --> 0:43:59.120
<v Speaker 1>anything super last minute, Make them feel like they're loved

0:43:59.120 --> 0:44:02.359
<v Speaker 1>and wanted, so say, keep Friday night free because I

0:44:02.400 --> 0:44:03.920
<v Speaker 1>am going to plan something and he's going to be

0:44:03.960 --> 0:44:04.840
<v Speaker 1>amazing and I want.

0:44:04.680 --> 0:44:06.640
<v Speaker 2>To surprise you. So lock it in and make them

0:44:06.680 --> 0:44:09.360
<v Speaker 2>feel like you've really thought about it. The second B

0:44:10.360 --> 0:44:12.479
<v Speaker 2>be mentally present, so, like.

0:44:12.400 --> 0:44:15.960
<v Speaker 1>You just said, really just be there. Don't be drifting

0:44:16.000 --> 0:44:18.120
<v Speaker 1>off in your thoughts. Don't glance down to your phone.

0:44:18.280 --> 0:44:21.359
<v Speaker 1>Don't say, oh sorry, what did you just say, because

0:44:21.400 --> 0:44:25.480
<v Speaker 1>it just shows that you're not interested. Thirdly, be affectionate. Okay,

0:44:25.480 --> 0:44:27.560
<v Speaker 1>so you've planned, you kill a night out, you've locked

0:44:27.560 --> 0:44:30.920
<v Speaker 1>your dating, you're mentally present there, but you still need

0:44:31.000 --> 0:44:34.480
<v Speaker 1>to bring that little extra level of physical touch. Bequte,

0:44:34.600 --> 0:44:36.640
<v Speaker 1>tell them they're sweet, so you bring some of the

0:44:36.719 --> 0:44:40.280
<v Speaker 1>other love languages in, wrap it up into one beautiful

0:44:40.280 --> 0:44:41.360
<v Speaker 1>little gift, and you've.

0:44:41.239 --> 0:44:44.359
<v Speaker 2>Got a really nice night. And that is what he says.

0:44:44.400 --> 0:44:46.600
<v Speaker 1>That's how you really drive home to your partner that

0:44:46.640 --> 0:44:48.080
<v Speaker 1>you're here for them and you love them and you're

0:44:48.080 --> 0:44:48.880
<v Speaker 1>gotta make this work.

0:44:49.000 --> 0:44:50.600
<v Speaker 2>I really like the first one of that, this whole

0:44:50.640 --> 0:44:53.880
<v Speaker 2>idea of being deliberate. I think there's nothing, there's nothing

0:44:54.360 --> 0:44:57.399
<v Speaker 2>like less attractive than when someone says, like, oh, let's

0:44:57.400 --> 0:44:59.799
<v Speaker 2>hang out and like, you organize a night and you're

0:44:59.800 --> 0:45:03.280
<v Speaker 2>gonna do something special, and then they haven't booked a restaurant,

0:45:03.320 --> 0:45:06.120
<v Speaker 2>they haven't made any plans, and so it's two last minute.

0:45:06.160 --> 0:45:08.279
<v Speaker 2>You can't actually go and do anything nice. The night

0:45:08.360 --> 0:45:09.680
<v Speaker 2>is like a bit of a waste because it's like, well,

0:45:09.719 --> 0:45:11.800
<v Speaker 2>what are you wanna do? Where do you want to go? On? Like, no,

0:45:11.960 --> 0:45:13.600
<v Speaker 2>I hate you said that you were going to do this.

0:45:13.760 --> 0:45:16.560
<v Speaker 2>You asked me, why haven't you even thought about what

0:45:16.560 --> 0:45:18.640
<v Speaker 2>we're gonna do? Why does that end up on me?

0:45:19.040 --> 0:45:21.160
<v Speaker 2>I think that that's like I think that that is

0:45:21.239 --> 0:45:24.080
<v Speaker 2>genuinely a reflection of not actually wanting to spend quality

0:45:24.080 --> 0:45:27.080
<v Speaker 2>time with someone because you haven't really put any time

0:45:27.120 --> 0:45:30.239
<v Speaker 2>and energy into making that time quality. You've just been like, oh, well,

0:45:30.280 --> 0:45:32.479
<v Speaker 2>I hope that they bring the goods. If there's nothing worse,

0:45:32.520 --> 0:45:35.160
<v Speaker 2>then it's like, well, okay, what are we gonna do then?

0:45:35.520 --> 0:45:37.160
<v Speaker 2>And like, well what do you feel like eating? Like

0:45:37.200 --> 0:45:38.320
<v Speaker 2>what do you feel like? You're like, well, I don't know,

0:45:38.360 --> 0:45:39.880
<v Speaker 2>we're supposed to be haveing dinner in ten minutes. You

0:45:39.880 --> 0:45:42.080
<v Speaker 2>haven't planned anything. There's not like you almost as you

0:45:42.160 --> 0:45:44.000
<v Speaker 2>try the tailing, don't you like don't worry, let's just

0:45:44.040 --> 0:45:46.280
<v Speaker 2>stay in a breaths. Like you almost get a bit defensive,

0:45:46.440 --> 0:45:48.400
<v Speaker 2>and even though you like, yes, you're staying at home

0:45:48.440 --> 0:45:50.160
<v Speaker 2>and you've got uber eats, it's like, well, this was

0:45:50.200 --> 0:45:52.560
<v Speaker 2>our opportunity to do something special, and now we're not

0:45:52.600 --> 0:45:54.920
<v Speaker 2>doing something special. We're doing what we do almost every

0:45:55.000 --> 0:45:57.680
<v Speaker 2>night of the week. So it's therefore no longer really

0:45:57.760 --> 0:46:00.200
<v Speaker 2>quality time, even though we're together, Like I think kind

0:46:00.239 --> 0:46:01.839
<v Speaker 2>of takes away from that. I mean, it can still

0:46:01.880 --> 0:46:04.279
<v Speaker 2>be quality, but it takes the specialness away. Yeah, a

0:46:04.280 --> 0:46:06.800
<v Speaker 2>little bit one for the single people, because not everyone

0:46:06.800 --> 0:46:09.440
<v Speaker 2>who is, like you know, not everyone who's listening to

0:46:09.480 --> 0:46:12.680
<v Speaker 2>this is in a relationship. But when you're dating someone

0:46:12.920 --> 0:46:16.040
<v Speaker 2>and they're okay with giving you their Monday or their Tuesday,

0:46:16.280 --> 0:46:18.799
<v Speaker 2>or their Wednesday or their Thursday night, but they're not

0:46:18.840 --> 0:46:21.000
<v Speaker 2>going to give you their Friday night, their Saturday night,

0:46:21.120 --> 0:46:24.319
<v Speaker 2>or their Sunday day, like that is not quality time, right,

0:46:24.400 --> 0:46:26.440
<v Speaker 2>Like you know where you stand on their list of priorities.

0:46:26.440 --> 0:46:29.160
<v Speaker 2>And I think that that is very glaringly clear. If

0:46:29.160 --> 0:46:31.160
<v Speaker 2>a guy is happy to do dinner with you on

0:46:31.160 --> 0:46:32.879
<v Speaker 2>a Monday or a Tuesday, but he won't do dinner

0:46:32.880 --> 0:46:34.879
<v Speaker 2>with you on a Saturday or a Friday. He's got

0:46:34.880 --> 0:46:36.719
<v Speaker 2>better things to do. He's fitting you into his list

0:46:36.760 --> 0:46:38.880
<v Speaker 2>of priorities. So stay woke, ladies.

0:46:39.160 --> 0:46:41.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, if you're single, all this still applies. It's really

0:46:42.000 --> 0:46:43.920
<v Speaker 1>great to know going into a relationship. But in the

0:46:43.960 --> 0:46:46.160
<v Speaker 1>early stages of dating, you can pick up on what

0:46:46.280 --> 0:46:48.080
<v Speaker 1>someone's love language is straight away.

0:46:48.120 --> 0:46:49.719
<v Speaker 2>You don't have to be in a long term relationship.

0:46:49.760 --> 0:46:51.879
<v Speaker 1>So I think that this is equally is important for

0:46:52.400 --> 0:46:55.000
<v Speaker 1>singles entering the dating world to long term relationships.

0:46:56.560 --> 0:46:59.600
<v Speaker 2>Number five is physical touch. So this is mine number one.

0:47:00.000 --> 0:47:00.480
<v Speaker 2>I love it.

0:47:00.640 --> 0:47:02.279
<v Speaker 1>I want you to stroke my hair. I want you

0:47:02.320 --> 0:47:03.799
<v Speaker 1>to tickle my arm, or you tick my back. I

0:47:03.800 --> 0:47:06.000
<v Speaker 1>want you to give me a BackRub. I want you

0:47:06.040 --> 0:47:07.360
<v Speaker 1>to cudd on me. I want you to spoo me.

0:47:07.800 --> 0:47:10.600
<v Speaker 2>I love touch, and I'm like that with everyone, Like

0:47:10.800 --> 0:47:14.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm quite affectionate with my friends. I'll she's very handsy.

0:47:14.239 --> 0:47:17.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm hands but even I don't know, Like even if

0:47:17.560 --> 0:47:20.440
<v Speaker 1>you've seen on the lounge and I laughed, I might

0:47:20.480 --> 0:47:21.920
<v Speaker 1>even laugh and touch your leg And.

0:47:24.560 --> 0:47:26.160
<v Speaker 2>It's not an awkward thing. And I don't actually think

0:47:26.160 --> 0:47:27.560
<v Speaker 2>about it. I only really thought.

0:47:27.360 --> 0:47:29.680
<v Speaker 1>About it when I was reading through the love language

0:47:29.680 --> 0:47:32.000
<v Speaker 1>and thinking of what I am and my friends often

0:47:32.000 --> 0:47:33.920
<v Speaker 1>say that, and it's not a bad I'm not all

0:47:33.920 --> 0:47:36.480
<v Speaker 1>over you, but it's like the tiniest little touch because

0:47:36.520 --> 0:47:39.280
<v Speaker 1>that's how I show you that I care well. Instead

0:47:39.280 --> 0:47:42.000
<v Speaker 1>of being two meters away when you're upset and saying

0:47:42.200 --> 0:47:44.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm here for you, I'll be next to you and

0:47:44.080 --> 0:47:45.240
<v Speaker 1>I'll touch your arm and I'll say.

0:47:45.080 --> 0:47:47.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm here, you know. It's just like those little things.

0:47:47.200 --> 0:47:48.840
<v Speaker 2>I think, like this is the one that this is

0:47:48.840 --> 0:47:52.000
<v Speaker 2>what made me think about how dynamic love languages can

0:47:52.040 --> 0:47:54.359
<v Speaker 2>be and how they change depending on the relationship you're in,

0:47:54.400 --> 0:47:57.399
<v Speaker 2>and how they depend how they change depending on where

0:47:57.440 --> 0:47:59.400
<v Speaker 2>you're at in your relationship. So I used to be

0:48:00.480 --> 0:48:04.040
<v Speaker 2>quality time and my second one was always physical touch,

0:48:04.160 --> 0:48:08.280
<v Speaker 2>like they were always neck and neck, but because because

0:48:09.320 --> 0:48:14.520
<v Speaker 2>touching me time, Yes, I was gonna be really rude then,

0:48:14.560 --> 0:48:17.399
<v Speaker 2>but I'm not going to do it. So now it's

0:48:17.480 --> 0:48:20.919
<v Speaker 2>kind of changed and like now it's still quality time.

0:48:20.960 --> 0:48:23.800
<v Speaker 2>That's still like maintains number one, but acts of service

0:48:23.840 --> 0:48:26.400
<v Speaker 2>has become my secondary and most important thing. And I

0:48:26.400 --> 0:48:29.520
<v Speaker 2>think it's shifted because Matt and I are always touchy

0:48:29.520 --> 0:48:31.399
<v Speaker 2>fely with each other, like we always are the ones

0:48:31.400 --> 0:48:34.000
<v Speaker 2>who will hug each other. We always we're always kiss

0:48:34.040 --> 0:48:37.480
<v Speaker 2>each other like we're very very handsy couple. Like not

0:48:37.560 --> 0:48:39.319
<v Speaker 2>to be grossed and give you too much information, but

0:48:39.320 --> 0:48:42.000
<v Speaker 2>we're very very affectionate with our touch. So I'm not

0:48:42.160 --> 0:48:45.560
<v Speaker 2>lacking in that part of my life. But sometimes acts

0:48:45.600 --> 0:48:50.240
<v Speaker 2>of service, like my God, if you do the washing,

0:48:50.520 --> 0:48:56.160
<v Speaker 2>cook me dinner, and put Marley to bed, I'll let

0:48:56.200 --> 0:48:59.080
<v Speaker 2>me tell you, that really gets me off now. And

0:48:59.200 --> 0:49:01.399
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't have cared about that stuff before, but now,

0:49:01.440 --> 0:49:03.319
<v Speaker 2>because of the situation that we're in, because of the

0:49:03.320 --> 0:49:06.520
<v Speaker 2>point in life that we're in, acts of service, I

0:49:06.600 --> 0:49:08.960
<v Speaker 2>understand now why dads end up mowing the lawn and

0:49:09.000 --> 0:49:11.640
<v Speaker 2>doing all the stuff, because that is what really arouses

0:49:11.640 --> 0:49:14.400
<v Speaker 2>a woman. My dad does it because he has to

0:49:14.640 --> 0:49:16.719
<v Speaker 2>mom's like, I'm not fitting your dinner. Wait, you see

0:49:16.800 --> 0:49:18.680
<v Speaker 2>to your mom. You ask your mum what gets her up,

0:49:18.680 --> 0:49:22.520
<v Speaker 2>and she'll be like, the mowing. I'm pretty sure that

0:49:22.560 --> 0:49:27.759
<v Speaker 2>when your dad washes the dishes, that's that's your mum. Yeah. Okay, Well,

0:49:28.680 --> 0:49:33.480
<v Speaker 2>so for people that dad, I know you're listening to this. Sorry,

0:49:33.800 --> 0:49:38.080
<v Speaker 2>sorry Tony, sorry, big Tones. He listens to everyone. He's like, actually,

0:49:38.160 --> 0:49:40.680
<v Speaker 2>I just mowed the lawn yesterday. Can you hear him

0:49:40.680 --> 0:49:43.480
<v Speaker 2>in the background starting them all, that's gonna be a

0:49:43.480 --> 0:49:46.360
<v Speaker 2>good night in the Hockeley house. Mom's like, Tony, you

0:49:46.400 --> 0:49:49.560
<v Speaker 2>mowed the lawn yesterday. Yes, I know, dude, but but

0:49:49.600 --> 0:49:51.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm not joking. I really think that depending on where

0:49:51.640 --> 0:49:54.080
<v Speaker 2>you're at in your relationship, acts of service becomes so

0:49:54.200 --> 0:49:57.680
<v Speaker 2>much more important. And like I just I really didn't

0:49:57.719 --> 0:49:59.360
<v Speaker 2>realize this until I got to this point in my

0:49:59.400 --> 0:50:03.200
<v Speaker 2>relationship with like now even today when I made Matt

0:50:03.239 --> 0:50:05.400
<v Speaker 2>do the test so I have his answers as well,

0:50:05.800 --> 0:50:07.920
<v Speaker 2>and he even said to me, it's like I couldn't

0:50:07.960 --> 0:50:11.080
<v Speaker 2>have cared less before if you had cleaned the house

0:50:11.160 --> 0:50:13.760
<v Speaker 2>and like done things for me. He's like, but now, babe,

0:50:13.760 --> 0:50:15.120
<v Speaker 2>you take money for the day and I'm going to

0:50:15.200 --> 0:50:16.719
<v Speaker 2>go for a surf and go for the run. He's like,

0:50:16.800 --> 0:50:18.759
<v Speaker 2>that means so much to me. It's like, I know

0:50:18.880 --> 0:50:20.680
<v Speaker 2>that that's you showing me that you love me, but

0:50:20.719 --> 0:50:22.800
<v Speaker 2>well it means more. Yeah, it means more now totally

0:50:22.880 --> 0:50:26.120
<v Speaker 2>heid Froth that so froth that, But it's dear God,

0:50:26.200 --> 0:50:28.919
<v Speaker 2>hed Froth. It it's important to know that physical touch

0:50:29.120 --> 0:50:31.799
<v Speaker 2>isn't just about sex, and we make the joke, but

0:50:31.840 --> 0:50:32.839
<v Speaker 2>it's not just a sexual thing.

0:50:32.840 --> 0:50:35.400
<v Speaker 1>It's literally the little things. It's holding hands in public,

0:50:35.560 --> 0:50:38.600
<v Speaker 1>it's cuddling in public. It's not being ashamed, it's just

0:50:38.640 --> 0:50:41.800
<v Speaker 1>making sure they feel safe. And there's always that point

0:50:41.840 --> 0:50:44.560
<v Speaker 1>of contact. I know, even for me when I'm not

0:50:44.600 --> 0:50:47.279
<v Speaker 1>in a relationship. Sorry Sherry, but I always do this

0:50:47.400 --> 0:50:50.799
<v Speaker 1>when I feel like I'm needing love. I literally go

0:50:50.880 --> 0:50:52.839
<v Speaker 1>to my sister's house and she cooks me, bless her.

0:50:52.880 --> 0:50:55.120
<v Speaker 1>She cooks me dinner, and I lay on the lounge

0:50:55.120 --> 0:50:56.840
<v Speaker 1>like she's my boyfriend, and I put my head on

0:50:56.840 --> 0:50:59.239
<v Speaker 1>her lap, and she like will tickle my arm, will

0:50:59.239 --> 0:51:02.440
<v Speaker 1>stroke my hair. But it's because that's my love language.

0:51:02.480 --> 0:51:05.480
<v Speaker 1>And I because I've been single for so many years,

0:51:05.520 --> 0:51:08.120
<v Speaker 1>there comes to a points every few months or however

0:51:08.160 --> 0:51:10.240
<v Speaker 1>long when you're like, okay, I feel like I'm because

0:51:10.280 --> 0:51:11.480
<v Speaker 1>that's how I feel love.

0:51:12.360 --> 0:51:13.600
<v Speaker 2>That's what makes me lack love.

0:51:13.680 --> 0:51:15.440
<v Speaker 1>If you don't have it, and you don't have anyone

0:51:15.520 --> 0:51:18.640
<v Speaker 1>that's giving you physical attention, physical touch of any point,

0:51:18.719 --> 0:51:21.120
<v Speaker 1>a cuddle, you forget how much you need it. You

0:51:21.160 --> 0:51:23.160
<v Speaker 1>need human contact. So I will literally go to hand

0:51:23.160 --> 0:51:24.640
<v Speaker 1>I'll be like, can you pat my hair? Fight half now,

0:51:24.680 --> 0:51:26.759
<v Speaker 1>and she'll just like tickle my hair and then I'm like, Okay,

0:51:26.760 --> 0:51:27.520
<v Speaker 1>I've got what I need.

0:51:30.280 --> 0:51:32.400
<v Speaker 2>But also I think, isn't this like such an interesting

0:51:32.440 --> 0:51:35.919
<v Speaker 2>time for people whose number one love language it's touch?

0:51:36.480 --> 0:51:37.880
<v Speaker 2>And then to think that we've just been through a

0:51:37.880 --> 0:51:40.480
<v Speaker 2>pandemic where you can't hug each other, you have to

0:51:40.520 --> 0:51:44.000
<v Speaker 2>be socially distanced, especially for people who aren't single, who

0:51:44.080 --> 0:51:46.840
<v Speaker 2>maybe live alone, who haven't been able to get that

0:51:46.840 --> 0:51:49.040
<v Speaker 2>physical touch. Like, I think you just totally hit it

0:51:49.080 --> 0:51:50.799
<v Speaker 2>on the head that there will be a lot of

0:51:50.840 --> 0:51:52.759
<v Speaker 2>people going through this period and coming out the other

0:51:52.840 --> 0:51:55.880
<v Speaker 2>side who have felt very lonely and have felt very

0:51:56.000 --> 0:51:59.360
<v Speaker 2>unloved because one of their core and fundamental love languages

0:52:00.040 --> 0:52:02.400
<v Speaker 2>haven't been able to be satisfied by that. It's been

0:52:02.440 --> 0:52:04.279
<v Speaker 2>a really tough time. But that's why I found this

0:52:04.400 --> 0:52:07.239
<v Speaker 2>a really interesting chat to do today. That's the five

0:52:07.280 --> 0:52:10.759
<v Speaker 2>love languages. And what doctor Chapman does say is he

0:52:10.840 --> 0:52:15.200
<v Speaker 2>refers to all of these love languages as being a fuel,

0:52:15.520 --> 0:52:17.600
<v Speaker 2>and he refers to having a love tank. So in

0:52:17.640 --> 0:52:20.879
<v Speaker 2>a relationship, you have a love tank. Those languages, those

0:52:20.920 --> 0:52:24.040
<v Speaker 2>five love languages are the fuel that are in the tank.

0:52:24.320 --> 0:52:27.920
<v Speaker 2>If you're not constantly refilling the tank with the fuel,

0:52:28.200 --> 0:52:30.399
<v Speaker 2>you're not going to propel forward. So this is how

0:52:30.400 --> 0:52:31.160
<v Speaker 2>he explains it.

0:52:31.520 --> 0:52:34.000
<v Speaker 1>So, if you feel like your relationship is really stagnant,

0:52:34.320 --> 0:52:36.560
<v Speaker 1>you feel like you're not meeting each other halfway, you

0:52:36.600 --> 0:52:38.880
<v Speaker 1>feel like you're not moving forward, it's probably because you

0:52:38.880 --> 0:52:40.520
<v Speaker 1>need to look at your love tank and see what

0:52:40.560 --> 0:52:43.400
<v Speaker 1>you're not putting in. If you feel like you aren't

0:52:43.440 --> 0:52:47.920
<v Speaker 1>moving in your relationship, maybe guys go and do this

0:52:48.040 --> 0:52:49.319
<v Speaker 1>five love languages test.

0:52:49.520 --> 0:52:51.200
<v Speaker 2>See what you are, see what your partner is.

0:52:51.239 --> 0:52:53.920
<v Speaker 1>Because you might not even know what your partner's love

0:52:54.000 --> 0:52:56.200
<v Speaker 1>language is, you might think you're showing them love.

0:52:56.520 --> 0:52:57.440
<v Speaker 2>He often gets this.

0:52:57.520 --> 0:53:00.799
<v Speaker 1>Doctor often gets couples on and what happened because he's

0:53:00.840 --> 0:53:04.200
<v Speaker 1>a therapist. What happens is he sees these couples and

0:53:04.239 --> 0:53:07.000
<v Speaker 1>he's he's saying, okay, talk.

0:53:06.840 --> 0:53:08.759
<v Speaker 2>Me through why you're breaking up? Why do you want

0:53:08.760 --> 0:53:09.239
<v Speaker 2>to break up?

0:53:09.640 --> 0:53:12.920
<v Speaker 1>And it's because one couple, one day, one person one

0:53:12.960 --> 0:53:15.800
<v Speaker 1>day stands up and says, you don't love me anymore,

0:53:15.880 --> 0:53:17.920
<v Speaker 1>and I can't do it. You don't love me, I'm

0:53:17.920 --> 0:53:20.600
<v Speaker 1>not getting what I need. I'm leaving. And usually the

0:53:20.719 --> 0:53:23.680
<v Speaker 1>other partner's like, well, what, I love you so much?

0:53:23.800 --> 0:53:26.040
<v Speaker 1>Don't you see how much I do for you? And

0:53:26.040 --> 0:53:28.120
<v Speaker 1>it's because they've never spoken about their love language. Her

0:53:28.160 --> 0:53:30.200
<v Speaker 1>love language is an act of service. He thinks he's

0:53:30.239 --> 0:53:32.680
<v Speaker 1>doing all this stuff for her, showing her he loves it,

0:53:32.880 --> 0:53:35.000
<v Speaker 1>but all she wants to do is be touched and said,

0:53:35.520 --> 0:53:36.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, be told that he's.

0:53:36.640 --> 0:53:37.600
<v Speaker 2>Proud of her.

0:53:38.120 --> 0:53:40.439
<v Speaker 1>So this is why it's imperative that you find out

0:53:40.719 --> 0:53:42.719
<v Speaker 1>what works for your partner, what they want, and then

0:53:42.760 --> 0:53:43.640
<v Speaker 1>you make sure that you're.

0:53:43.560 --> 0:53:46.840
<v Speaker 2>Adding the right amount of fuel into your love tank. Yeah, so, guys,

0:53:46.840 --> 0:53:47.359
<v Speaker 2>I just listen.

0:53:47.400 --> 0:53:51.080
<v Speaker 1>It's a really interesting little twenty minute podcast that doctor

0:53:51.120 --> 0:53:54.080
<v Speaker 1>Chapman did with Oprah twenty minutes, and it's really interesting

0:53:54.160 --> 0:53:56.440
<v Speaker 1>if you guys are interested in listening to him and

0:53:56.719 --> 0:53:57.960
<v Speaker 1>the way he explains it.

0:53:57.960 --> 0:53:59.920
<v Speaker 2>It's I loved it. Well. One of the things I

0:54:00.160 --> 0:54:03.160
<v Speaker 2>really wanted to touch on this episode is like, what do

0:54:03.200 --> 0:54:06.440
<v Speaker 2>you do when your love languages don't align? So maybe

0:54:06.480 --> 0:54:08.239
<v Speaker 2>you're at a point in your relationship and you don't

0:54:08.320 --> 0:54:10.879
<v Speaker 2>feel loved and you're listening to this podcast and you're like, oh,

0:54:11.000 --> 0:54:12.920
<v Speaker 2>actually you know what, Yeah, he doesn't tell me he

0:54:12.960 --> 0:54:15.160
<v Speaker 2>loves me, but he does do all these things for

0:54:15.239 --> 0:54:17.520
<v Speaker 2>me every day, and you know, he drives me to

0:54:17.560 --> 0:54:19.440
<v Speaker 2>work and he picks me up, and he's like always

0:54:19.480 --> 0:54:22.759
<v Speaker 2>texting and he whatever. It is, like, maybe there's a

0:54:22.800 --> 0:54:25.600
<v Speaker 2>mismatch in how you're giving love and how you're receiving love. Now,

0:54:25.640 --> 0:54:27.520
<v Speaker 2>we're not sitting here saying that just because you have

0:54:27.520 --> 0:54:31.359
<v Speaker 2>different love languages that you're not a compatible partner. Like,

0:54:31.400 --> 0:54:33.480
<v Speaker 2>I think that you can overcome this. But the only

0:54:33.520 --> 0:54:35.759
<v Speaker 2>way to overcome this is to have great communication and

0:54:35.760 --> 0:54:38.400
<v Speaker 2>to really sit down and explain to your partner what

0:54:38.440 --> 0:54:41.479
<v Speaker 2>you need, and also to then do better to show

0:54:41.480 --> 0:54:43.359
<v Speaker 2>your partner that you love them in the ways that

0:54:43.400 --> 0:54:46.080
<v Speaker 2>they receive love as well. And for me, I think

0:54:46.360 --> 0:54:48.960
<v Speaker 2>one of the biggest things I've learned in my relationships

0:54:48.960 --> 0:54:52.319
<v Speaker 2>and something that I really like, this is like my

0:54:52.560 --> 0:54:57.239
<v Speaker 2>greatest advice guys here it is. It's that you're like,

0:54:57.360 --> 0:55:02.080
<v Speaker 2>what the fucking well, then you might say, my advice is,

0:55:02.600 --> 0:55:04.960
<v Speaker 2>if you are in a bad spot in your relationship

0:55:05.040 --> 0:55:08.319
<v Speaker 2>right now, instead of telling your partner all the things

0:55:08.320 --> 0:55:11.319
<v Speaker 2>that they need to do to be different, try doing

0:55:11.320 --> 0:55:15.399
<v Speaker 2>those things yourself first. So, for example, I know and

0:55:15.560 --> 0:55:17.680
<v Speaker 2>hear me out because sometimes you don't feel like doing

0:55:17.680 --> 0:55:20.360
<v Speaker 2>it right if you feel like you have been less loving,

0:55:20.400 --> 0:55:22.440
<v Speaker 2>as in both you and your partner have been less loving,

0:55:22.560 --> 0:55:24.799
<v Speaker 2>and you were like, well, you're not being loving to me,

0:55:25.239 --> 0:55:27.359
<v Speaker 2>you're not telling me that you love me, you're not

0:55:27.360 --> 0:55:29.920
<v Speaker 2>being affectionate, you're not being handsy and touchy and all

0:55:29.960 --> 0:55:32.960
<v Speaker 2>those things that you need. Really like, I think that

0:55:33.040 --> 0:55:36.080
<v Speaker 2>action proceeds change, And I think that when you start

0:55:36.120 --> 0:55:38.239
<v Speaker 2>being more loving to your partner, when you start being

0:55:38.280 --> 0:55:41.040
<v Speaker 2>more verbal and you explaining that they're the things you need,

0:55:41.120 --> 0:55:44.560
<v Speaker 2>often that's that motivates change in them. They will see

0:55:44.560 --> 0:55:46.839
<v Speaker 2>a change in you, and that will sometimes and nite

0:55:46.880 --> 0:55:48.920
<v Speaker 2>a change in them. If it doesn't, then that's when

0:55:48.920 --> 0:55:51.160
<v Speaker 2>you're like, fuck, I have really tried everything. But I

0:55:51.200 --> 0:55:52.839
<v Speaker 2>do think that there has to be a period there

0:55:52.840 --> 0:55:55.080
<v Speaker 2>where you really try to be the difference and you

0:55:55.239 --> 0:55:56.960
<v Speaker 2>really try to be the change that you want in

0:55:57.000 --> 0:55:59.799
<v Speaker 2>them to spark that treat me out, treat them how

0:55:59.880 --> 0:56:00.680
<v Speaker 2>you want to be treated.

0:56:00.880 --> 0:56:02.919
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's like a number one rule to life, right,

0:56:03.040 --> 0:56:04.760
<v Speaker 1>treat another human how you want to be treated.

0:56:04.920 --> 0:56:06.839
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, But even more so with this, I think it's

0:56:06.880 --> 0:56:08.920
<v Speaker 2>more so than just like just going like, you know,

0:56:09.040 --> 0:56:10.600
<v Speaker 2>be nice and treat people out the way you want

0:56:10.600 --> 0:56:12.520
<v Speaker 2>to be treated. I think like, if you are not

0:56:12.560 --> 0:56:16.359
<v Speaker 2>feeling loved, instead of instead of being angry about that,

0:56:16.960 --> 0:56:19.440
<v Speaker 2>love your partner even more, instead of rolling over in

0:56:19.480 --> 0:56:22.400
<v Speaker 2>bed and sulking, yeah, roll the other way and cuddle

0:56:22.480 --> 0:56:24.920
<v Speaker 2>him and kiss him. Yeah exactly, And then you know,

0:56:25.000 --> 0:56:27.799
<v Speaker 2>if you're then still not getting the affirmation back, then

0:56:27.840 --> 0:56:30.000
<v Speaker 2>I think that that's then when it becomes time to assess.

0:56:30.040 --> 0:56:32.560
<v Speaker 2>But I really do think instead of just putting up

0:56:32.560 --> 0:56:34.680
<v Speaker 2>a roadblock and going, nah, I feel like this now

0:56:34.760 --> 0:56:36.880
<v Speaker 2>because I'm not getting what I need from him, I

0:56:36.920 --> 0:56:39.719
<v Speaker 2>think there's always a point in the relationship where you

0:56:39.719 --> 0:56:41.799
<v Speaker 2>can go a little bit further to see if you

0:56:41.840 --> 0:56:45.399
<v Speaker 2>can create that change yourself. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Thanks.

0:56:45.440 --> 0:56:47.200
<v Speaker 2>I mean, it's not going to work for everyone, but

0:56:47.440 --> 0:56:49.600
<v Speaker 2>it's worked for me, and it's worth while. It's worked

0:56:49.640 --> 0:56:51.480
<v Speaker 2>in our relationships. There's been time where Matt and I

0:56:51.520 --> 0:56:54.160
<v Speaker 2>have been having a hard time and we've been butting heads,

0:56:54.239 --> 0:56:56.080
<v Speaker 2>and you know what, we could keep going down the

0:56:56.080 --> 0:56:58.040
<v Speaker 2>path of butting heads, but one of you just has

0:56:58.080 --> 0:57:01.080
<v Speaker 2>to sometimes put up the surrender fly and meet the

0:57:01.080 --> 0:57:02.840
<v Speaker 2>other person a little bit more than halfway, and you

0:57:02.840 --> 0:57:04.960
<v Speaker 2>don't want to be that person all the time, but

0:57:05.239 --> 0:57:08.640
<v Speaker 2>sometimes being that person really just makes the relationship grow

0:57:09.000 --> 0:57:10.560
<v Speaker 2>and it gets you back into being in a really

0:57:10.560 --> 0:57:11.080
<v Speaker 2>great space.

0:57:11.160 --> 0:57:13.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you gotta put the fuel back in the love tank.

0:57:13.280 --> 0:57:15.040
<v Speaker 1>So what is Matt's love language?

0:57:15.239 --> 0:57:17.080
<v Speaker 2>All right, I gotta pull it up because I can't remember.

0:57:17.760 --> 0:57:22.400
<v Speaker 2>Hold on. What was Matt's so, Matts was words of affirmation.

0:57:22.720 --> 0:57:24.400
<v Speaker 2>He wants me to tell me. He wants me to

0:57:24.400 --> 0:57:26.439
<v Speaker 2>tell him that he's pretty and that I love him,

0:57:27.400 --> 0:57:29.400
<v Speaker 2>and that he has a nice bicet. I actually told

0:57:29.480 --> 0:57:30.640
<v Speaker 2>him when he walked in, I was like, I like

0:57:30.680 --> 0:57:32.520
<v Speaker 2>his shirt, Matts, So he would love that. He loves

0:57:32.520 --> 0:57:35.280
<v Speaker 2>words of affirmation. He wants me to tell him that

0:57:35.320 --> 0:57:37.880
<v Speaker 2>he's a sexy man all the time. His second one

0:57:37.960 --> 0:57:43.080
<v Speaker 2>is quality time, which I yeah, like, we're totally on

0:57:43.120 --> 0:57:44.920
<v Speaker 2>par with that. Quality time is really important to both

0:57:44.960 --> 0:57:47.640
<v Speaker 2>of us, and those are both like pretty equal. Then

0:57:47.680 --> 0:57:50.480
<v Speaker 2>he's he's equal paired on the next two. So acts

0:57:50.480 --> 0:57:52.840
<v Speaker 2>of service and physical touch are neck and neck. And

0:57:52.880 --> 0:57:56.160
<v Speaker 2>then he's thirteen percent gift giving, I mean gift receiving. Okay,

0:57:56.200 --> 0:57:59.240
<v Speaker 2>so still last he's but he likes him a bit

0:57:59.240 --> 0:58:02.560
<v Speaker 2>more than I do. I was like thirteen percent for

0:58:02.640 --> 0:58:05.720
<v Speaker 2>receiving gifts, like that's pretty high, and he was like, yeah,

0:58:05.800 --> 0:58:08.760
<v Speaker 2>fucking give me things. I'm like checking mine. My gift

0:58:08.840 --> 0:58:10.920
<v Speaker 2>giving was last, but it was three percent. That's not

0:58:11.000 --> 0:58:13.800
<v Speaker 2>very high. Yeah, mine was zero percent. Hang on, I'm

0:58:13.800 --> 0:58:14.080
<v Speaker 2>gonna be.

0:58:14.080 --> 0:58:17.080
<v Speaker 1>Worried now that maybe like future husbands out there are

0:58:17.080 --> 0:58:18.520
<v Speaker 1>going to listen to this and not buy me anything.

0:58:18.640 --> 0:58:21.560
<v Speaker 2>Do yours in percentages? Tell me the whole thing in percentages.

0:58:21.080 --> 0:58:25.440
<v Speaker 1>Ready, physical touch twenty nine percent, acts of service twenty

0:58:25.520 --> 0:58:29.480
<v Speaker 1>six percent, words of afimation twenty three percent, quality time

0:58:29.560 --> 0:58:32.800
<v Speaker 1>nineteen percent, receiving gifts three percent. The quality time thing

0:58:32.840 --> 0:58:36.640
<v Speaker 1>actually really surprised me because I thought that would be higher.

0:58:36.720 --> 0:58:42.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't feel like that's right. Should everyone go and

0:58:42.160 --> 0:58:44.240
<v Speaker 2>do this really accurate test that Brittany now doesn't think

0:58:44.320 --> 0:58:44.800
<v Speaker 2>is correct.

0:58:45.000 --> 0:58:47.400
<v Speaker 1>Well, I get that physical touches. No, it just surprised

0:58:47.400 --> 0:58:49.320
<v Speaker 1>me that. I mean, they're all only a few percent different.

0:58:49.360 --> 0:58:52.440
<v Speaker 2>But I love I mean, actually no, I do like

0:58:52.480 --> 0:58:53.800
<v Speaker 2>a lot of time on my own, so maybe it

0:58:53.800 --> 0:58:56.520
<v Speaker 2>does make sense. I'm glad you came to that nu

0:58:56.720 --> 0:58:59.120
<v Speaker 2>it on your own. I'm nutting this out live guys,

0:58:59.240 --> 0:59:02.880
<v Speaker 2>I am live okay, so mine work quality time thirty three,

0:59:03.200 --> 0:59:06.200
<v Speaker 2>and then very shortly afterwards was acts of service thirty

0:59:06.680 --> 0:59:09.640
<v Speaker 2>Then it was words of affirmation at twenty three, and

0:59:09.680 --> 0:59:12.800
<v Speaker 2>then it was physical touch at thirteen. When I touch

0:59:12.840 --> 0:59:15.680
<v Speaker 2>you like, don't buy me anything, stop touching me, don't

0:59:15.680 --> 0:59:17.440
<v Speaker 2>buy me things, just tell me I look pretty, do

0:59:17.560 --> 0:59:19.520
<v Speaker 2>things for me, and spend your time with me. All

0:59:19.640 --> 0:59:22.600
<v Speaker 2>but brilliant number one. I would like a combination of

0:59:22.680 --> 0:59:25.200
<v Speaker 2>all equal. Well, I think that that's what we were saying.

0:59:25.200 --> 0:59:27.600
<v Speaker 2>Like when it comes back to what I was saying

0:59:27.600 --> 0:59:31.120
<v Speaker 2>earlier in that you're always going to be some percentage

0:59:31.240 --> 0:59:34.120
<v Speaker 2>of these different love languages. They all are important, and

0:59:34.160 --> 0:59:36.320
<v Speaker 2>they all play a role in every single relationship. You

0:59:36.360 --> 0:59:38.680
<v Speaker 2>cannot be in a relationship that is completely void of one,

0:59:38.760 --> 0:59:41.959
<v Speaker 2>because you will then end up feeling unloved. But how

0:59:42.080 --> 0:59:44.880
<v Speaker 2>and the level and to what percentage that you show

0:59:44.920 --> 0:59:47.680
<v Speaker 2>those different love languages is going to vary from relationship

0:59:47.680 --> 0:59:50.760
<v Speaker 2>to relationship and in the time of your life. Absolutely,

0:59:50.800 --> 0:59:53.480
<v Speaker 2>And it all comes back and comes down to if

0:59:53.520 --> 0:59:57.560
<v Speaker 2>you have fundamentally different love languages, it comes down to communication,

0:59:58.080 --> 1:00:00.240
<v Speaker 2>and the only way that your relationship is going to

1:00:00.280 --> 1:00:03.480
<v Speaker 2>work with that person is if you're both super committed

1:00:03.800 --> 1:00:06.360
<v Speaker 2>to making sure that the other person feels loved in

1:00:06.400 --> 1:00:08.840
<v Speaker 2>the way that they receive loved, even if that's not

1:00:08.880 --> 1:00:12.480
<v Speaker 2>what's innately normal or like easy for you. Full stop,

1:00:12.720 --> 1:00:15.720
<v Speaker 2>boom baby, Enjoy that. Guys.

1:00:15.840 --> 1:00:18.880
<v Speaker 1>That's it for love languages. We hope you learn something.

1:00:19.000 --> 1:00:21.760
<v Speaker 1>If you haven't figured out you love language, jump online.

1:00:21.840 --> 1:00:24.120
<v Speaker 1>Literally just google the five Love Languages test.

1:00:24.640 --> 1:00:26.920
<v Speaker 2>There's loads also while you're at it, and I'm just

1:00:26.960 --> 1:00:31.120
<v Speaker 2>gonna throw another one in there. Do the Mayas Briggs test.

1:00:31.760 --> 1:00:34.080
<v Speaker 2>This is like, this is totally off peace right now,

1:00:34.680 --> 1:00:37.640
<v Speaker 2>I can't contribute. We talk to you. I'm taking it

1:00:37.760 --> 1:00:39.920
<v Speaker 2>all the way over left of center. So do your

1:00:39.960 --> 1:00:42.560
<v Speaker 2>love languages test. I think that's like really important for

1:00:42.640 --> 1:00:45.440
<v Speaker 2>couples and for relationships, but on a personal level and

1:00:45.480 --> 1:00:47.720
<v Speaker 2>to better understand who you are and people that you're

1:00:47.880 --> 1:00:51.320
<v Speaker 2>emotionally compatible with. I really recommend also doing the Mayas

1:00:51.320 --> 1:00:54.200
<v Speaker 2>Briggs test, which is the Mayas Briggs personality test, and

1:00:54.240 --> 1:00:57.760
<v Speaker 2>it kind of breaks down your's It is spooky. I'm

1:00:57.760 --> 1:00:59.520
<v Speaker 2>going to get you to do it, Britt. It's so

1:00:59.560 --> 1:01:03.480
<v Speaker 2>good for another episode meet up, yeah, and like record

1:01:03.480 --> 1:01:05.680
<v Speaker 2>a podcast. That'll be wild for why can't we just

1:01:05.720 --> 1:01:08.480
<v Speaker 2>be crazy and do that's that's something we never do.

1:01:08.520 --> 1:01:11.040
<v Speaker 2>That'd be so new for us, So I recommend doing

1:01:11.120 --> 1:01:13.840
<v Speaker 2>that the Mayas Briggs I found so incredibly interesting and

1:01:13.880 --> 1:01:16.480
<v Speaker 2>it really highlighted to me the types of people that

1:01:16.480 --> 1:01:19.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm compatible with, and it highlighted to me my my

1:01:19.840 --> 1:01:23.440
<v Speaker 2>personality traits that I didn't really I guess it just

1:01:23.560 --> 1:01:25.160
<v Speaker 2>made me more aware of who I am as person.

1:01:26.320 --> 1:01:30.000
<v Speaker 2>Recommend maybe we'll put it in the show notes. No

1:01:30.120 --> 1:01:32.920
<v Speaker 2>next week's once. Well, maybe we'll do it in preparation

1:01:33.080 --> 1:01:41.280
<v Speaker 2>for next week. All right, guys, and now it's time

1:01:41.320 --> 1:01:43.360
<v Speaker 2>for Suck and Sweet. But before we get into it,

1:01:43.560 --> 1:01:47.280
<v Speaker 2>just in the little break after we recorded that to now,

1:01:47.600 --> 1:01:50.840
<v Speaker 2>Bridges said to me, can you please take my Lola

1:01:50.920 --> 1:01:54.040
<v Speaker 2>blades off? I was laughing so hard about that, and

1:01:54.160 --> 1:01:56.439
<v Speaker 2>I want to kill her right now because I feel

1:01:56.520 --> 1:01:58.920
<v Speaker 2>dirty from the inside out. That just really came to you.

1:01:58.920 --> 1:02:01.760
<v Speaker 1>I've never used that one before, Lola blade, Yeah, take

1:02:01.800 --> 1:02:02.120
<v Speaker 1>them off.

1:02:02.160 --> 1:02:04.120
<v Speaker 2>I actually helped my foot up to Laura's face and

1:02:04.160 --> 1:02:08.560
<v Speaker 2>I said, take my Lola blades myself. The amount of

1:02:08.560 --> 1:02:10.440
<v Speaker 2>people who have jumped on board with this, though, like

1:02:10.680 --> 1:02:13.880
<v Speaker 2>every day on the reviews in the Facebook group, like,

1:02:15.000 --> 1:02:16.800
<v Speaker 2>I can't tell you how much it kills my soul

1:02:16.840 --> 1:02:23.920
<v Speaker 2>that everybody's embraced your Lola Loser. Do you mean Lola Palooser.

1:02:26.320 --> 1:02:27.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm so embarrassed.

1:02:27.320 --> 1:02:31.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm not embarrassed with me. My favorite thing that's ever

1:02:31.720 --> 1:02:33.400
<v Speaker 1>happened is that you.

1:02:34.280 --> 1:02:36.640
<v Speaker 2>I have been trying to shut this down to day one. No,

1:02:36.680 --> 1:02:37.880
<v Speaker 2>this is even better day one.

1:02:37.960 --> 1:02:39.520
<v Speaker 1>You tried to shut it down at the beginning, but

1:02:39.600 --> 1:02:42.080
<v Speaker 1>now sometimes you don't even know and you say it

1:02:42.080 --> 1:02:45.160
<v Speaker 1>in a sentence, and I love it so hard because

1:02:45.320 --> 1:02:46.560
<v Speaker 1>you it's you have to.

1:02:46.520 --> 1:02:49.920
<v Speaker 2>Admit make you happy. No, I hate it still. He's

1:02:49.960 --> 1:02:52.760
<v Speaker 2>grown on you and everyone loves that. So I'm miserable.

1:02:53.160 --> 1:02:59.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm a miserable old mum. You're also very dramatic. Okay, okay,

1:02:59.320 --> 1:03:01.280
<v Speaker 2>now into the sweet guys. For those of you who

1:03:01.320 --> 1:03:04.520
<v Speaker 2>don't know, suck and sweet is how we end every episode.

1:03:04.640 --> 1:03:06.880
<v Speaker 2>It is our highlight and our low light of the week.

1:03:06.920 --> 1:03:09.360
<v Speaker 2>We already know BRIT's low light because she flooded her

1:03:09.400 --> 1:03:14.240
<v Speaker 2>apartment three times because once just wasn't enough. Yeah, guys,

1:03:14.600 --> 1:03:19.840
<v Speaker 2>my suck's quick. My whole weekend sucked, So my suck

1:03:19.960 --> 1:03:21.720
<v Speaker 2>is my life. It was. Yeah, it was a really

1:03:21.760 --> 1:03:25.680
<v Speaker 2>stressful weekend. I'm actually I'm gonna be real for a second.

1:03:26.600 --> 1:03:28.080
<v Speaker 2>I did put a lot on Instagram and I had

1:03:28.080 --> 1:03:30.920
<v Speaker 2>to laugh about it, but it was it was very defeating.

1:03:31.000 --> 1:03:32.800
<v Speaker 2>There was a moment that I just felt really defeated.

1:03:32.840 --> 1:03:36.280
<v Speaker 1>I felt really low. I'm not going to use the

1:03:36.280 --> 1:03:38.680
<v Speaker 1>word depressed. No I wasn't, but I was really down.

1:03:39.080 --> 1:03:42.760
<v Speaker 1>It was really really hard. I felt really alone, and

1:03:42.800 --> 1:03:44.320
<v Speaker 1>I think it will be good to talk about that

1:03:44.360 --> 1:03:48.040
<v Speaker 1>in the future. I struggled, I had some really low moments.

1:03:48.080 --> 1:03:50.880
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, all in all, it was a really tough weekend.

1:03:50.920 --> 1:03:56.200
<v Speaker 1>But the weekend's over now this is Sunday night. I yeah,

1:03:56.240 --> 1:03:58.320
<v Speaker 1>I think that I just need a really good sleep

1:03:58.320 --> 1:03:59.400
<v Speaker 1>and I'm I'm back to it.

1:03:59.440 --> 1:04:05.240
<v Speaker 2>So that's my my sweet on my peak breakdown.

1:04:05.360 --> 1:04:08.960
<v Speaker 1>So Saturday night last night, I had a few friends

1:04:09.000 --> 1:04:11.400
<v Speaker 1>that had written to me and said like, can I

1:04:11.400 --> 1:04:14.000
<v Speaker 1>come and do something? Can I help you in any way?

1:04:14.080 --> 1:04:16.440
<v Speaker 1>And me, being me, was like no, don't. Like I

1:04:16.440 --> 1:04:17.800
<v Speaker 1>don't want to put people out. I'm like, no, you

1:04:17.840 --> 1:04:19.280
<v Speaker 1>don't need to help me. I'm almost done, Like I'll

1:04:19.280 --> 1:04:22.480
<v Speaker 1>be fine. But I had this one particular friend that

1:04:22.840 --> 1:04:25.400
<v Speaker 1>knew me well enough, and she didn't take no friend answer.

1:04:25.480 --> 1:04:27.160
<v Speaker 1>She's like, I'm actually going to be at your house

1:04:27.200 --> 1:04:29.480
<v Speaker 1>in fifteen minutes. I'm going to the shops. Let's have

1:04:29.520 --> 1:04:31.600
<v Speaker 1>some ice cream. And I just said, you know what,

1:04:32.240 --> 1:04:34.320
<v Speaker 1>you're really forcing yourself on me and I am here

1:04:34.320 --> 1:04:36.880
<v Speaker 1>for that. I said, yes, please come, You're like, no

1:04:36.960 --> 1:04:39.360
<v Speaker 1>means yes and musicians. She turned up and we just

1:04:39.400 --> 1:04:41.160
<v Speaker 1>had a laugh for half an hour. She picked my

1:04:41.160 --> 1:04:41.520
<v Speaker 1>mood up.

1:04:41.560 --> 1:04:43.200
<v Speaker 2>We had some ice cream, we had a little gloss

1:04:43.280 --> 1:04:46.840
<v Speaker 2>and that was my sweet just I think someone maybe

1:04:46.840 --> 1:04:49.560
<v Speaker 2>knowing that whilst I said I was okay that I wasn't,

1:04:50.040 --> 1:04:52.600
<v Speaker 2>you know, yeah, and like having someone there for you, yeah,

1:04:52.720 --> 1:04:55.480
<v Speaker 2>I mean someone that could see through my facade. But

1:04:55.560 --> 1:04:57.439
<v Speaker 2>it's making me feel really guilty now because I knew

1:04:57.480 --> 1:04:59.120
<v Speaker 2>she was sad, but I had a baby at home.

1:05:00.080 --> 1:05:02.560
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I don't mean to make you feel

1:05:02.560 --> 1:05:05.600
<v Speaker 2>guilty now. I didn't. I wasn't that friend, but yeah,

1:05:05.680 --> 1:05:08.200
<v Speaker 2>it was at Laura. I you know, it was someone

1:05:08.240 --> 1:05:11.120
<v Speaker 2>else from the franchise though, from the Bachelor franchise, Kimmy.

1:05:13.080 --> 1:05:15.760
<v Speaker 2>So if anyone doesn't know, one of the best things

1:05:15.800 --> 1:05:17.920
<v Speaker 2>for me that came besides Laura from the Bachelor. I

1:05:18.120 --> 1:05:20.680
<v Speaker 2>was one of the stylists. Kim. We are really really

1:05:20.680 --> 1:05:23.080
<v Speaker 2>close and I adore her and she's beautiful and she

1:05:23.400 --> 1:05:31.240
<v Speaker 2>just delivered the goods. Well, I feel sufficiently guilty. Now, Yeah,

1:05:31.240 --> 1:05:34.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm glad you got another friend. Do you want me

1:05:34.120 --> 1:05:35.280
<v Speaker 2>to just hold you and touch you and make you

1:05:35.280 --> 1:05:41.360
<v Speaker 2>feel really affirm? Just you okay? Give me your okay.

1:05:41.480 --> 1:05:44.960
<v Speaker 2>So my suck, I mean being sick this whole weekend

1:05:45.080 --> 1:05:50.160
<v Speaker 2>has been a real debbie downer. My suck could also

1:05:50.280 --> 1:05:52.200
<v Speaker 2>kind of be classified as my sweet I went to

1:05:52.240 --> 1:05:54.720
<v Speaker 2>bed at seven o'clock last night. I put Molly to sleep,

1:05:55.120 --> 1:05:57.680
<v Speaker 2>and I just got into bed, and then I slept

1:05:57.720 --> 1:06:01.600
<v Speaker 2>for twelve hours, like I was out, and I don't

1:06:01.600 --> 1:06:04.439
<v Speaker 2>think I've slept for twelve hours. You screened my call.

1:06:04.800 --> 1:06:07.800
<v Speaker 2>I put my phone on aeroplane mode. I was out

1:06:07.880 --> 1:06:10.360
<v Speaker 2>of there. You hung up? Yeah, no, actually I put

1:06:10.680 --> 1:06:13.400
<v Speaker 2>hung up on you, and then I put this is

1:06:13.440 --> 1:06:15.080
<v Speaker 2>me being a ship frien you in your time of

1:06:15.200 --> 1:06:18.480
<v Speaker 2>me who had some other friend. You had some other

1:06:18.560 --> 1:06:21.520
<v Speaker 2>friend come over to support you. I fucking hung up

1:06:21.560 --> 1:06:23.960
<v Speaker 2>on you and put my phone on aeroplane mode. I

1:06:24.080 --> 1:06:26.880
<v Speaker 2>called that. This is really highlighting I've just thought of

1:06:26.920 --> 1:06:30.520
<v Speaker 2>this now. I called Laura. She declined the call, then

1:06:30.560 --> 1:06:36.240
<v Speaker 2>sent me messages and was in bed. I thought you

1:06:36.280 --> 1:06:36.840
<v Speaker 2>would I.

1:06:36.840 --> 1:06:39.120
<v Speaker 1>Know, and that I was sick. I do absolutely. I

1:06:39.120 --> 1:06:41.200
<v Speaker 1>wasn't calling you having a breakdown. I don't know what

1:06:41.240 --> 1:06:41.720
<v Speaker 1>I was calling you for.

1:06:41.800 --> 1:06:43.880
<v Speaker 2>But also like, I'm not going to say I'm in

1:06:43.880 --> 1:06:46.560
<v Speaker 2>bed at seven pm unless there's something like it was.

1:06:46.640 --> 1:06:48.360
<v Speaker 2>It was a real doozy other day. Yeah, and I

1:06:48.440 --> 1:06:50.160
<v Speaker 2>know you'd been so sick, and that's why I would

1:06:50.240 --> 1:06:52.080
<v Speaker 2>never have asked you for help, because you couldn't even

1:06:52.080 --> 1:06:55.040
<v Speaker 2>help yourself. Mate, I was in all sorts yesterday, I

1:06:55.120 --> 1:06:58.520
<v Speaker 2>truly was. So that was my suck. Also, I'm a

1:06:58.520 --> 1:07:03.720
<v Speaker 2>ship friend. Just let that suck. My sweet for the

1:07:03.760 --> 1:07:06.360
<v Speaker 2>week is actually, do you know what somebody wrote in

1:07:06.360 --> 1:07:08.919
<v Speaker 2>the reviews that they really like that or they don't

1:07:09.000 --> 1:07:10.760
<v Speaker 2>like They find it really annoying that I always forget

1:07:10.800 --> 1:07:12.800
<v Speaker 2>if the suck comes first or the sweet comes first?

1:07:12.880 --> 1:07:14.720
<v Speaker 2>Do they? Because that's what that was me. I left

1:07:14.720 --> 1:07:18.440
<v Speaker 2>her reviews. They're like, I'm here with Brittany. How Laura

1:07:18.480 --> 1:07:20.640
<v Speaker 2>always forgets whether it's the suck or the sweet. I

1:07:20.680 --> 1:07:23.000
<v Speaker 2>see you, How dare you you.

1:07:23.000 --> 1:07:24.919
<v Speaker 1>Do every week, I'd be like, what one comes first?

1:07:24.920 --> 1:07:26.560
<v Speaker 2>Again? Yeah, well, I'm trying to keep a child alive.

1:07:26.720 --> 1:07:29.000
<v Speaker 2>Life is just really hard right now. Okay, So my

1:07:29.160 --> 1:07:31.560
<v Speaker 2>sweet is I mean my other suck? Is that Marley

1:07:31.680 --> 1:07:33.480
<v Speaker 2>ate one of my lipsticks. I don't know if anyone

1:07:33.480 --> 1:07:35.480
<v Speaker 2>saw that or my stories. That's not a suck. That

1:07:35.600 --> 1:07:38.120
<v Speaker 2>is golden. That is a golden moment. She gave me

1:07:38.160 --> 1:07:41.000
<v Speaker 2>some good Instagram content, so maybe that's my sweet. Then

1:07:42.800 --> 1:07:45.840
<v Speaker 2>she gave me some solid Instagram contest sponsor. What brand

1:07:45.880 --> 1:07:47.520
<v Speaker 2>was it? It was a little bit of a Revlon

1:07:47.600 --> 1:07:51.080
<v Speaker 2>color Stay. If you're listening, shout out to Revlon. That

1:07:51.160 --> 1:07:53.600
<v Speaker 2>shit really stays. Thank you. My child looks like a

1:07:53.640 --> 1:07:56.600
<v Speaker 2>clown now. So it was all quiet in the house.

1:07:57.000 --> 1:07:58.800
<v Speaker 2>I was in the bedroom and I could hear Marley

1:07:59.040 --> 1:08:02.480
<v Speaker 2>she was playing, and then just quiet, and I realized

1:08:02.480 --> 1:08:04.480
<v Speaker 2>it had been quiet for a little while, and I

1:08:04.560 --> 1:08:09.240
<v Speaker 2>was like, where is that child of mine? And every

1:08:09.280 --> 1:08:12.600
<v Speaker 2>mother knows that when it's quiet, they're doing something. They're

1:08:12.640 --> 1:08:14.800
<v Speaker 2>doing something. And then I couldn't find it because she'd

1:08:14.840 --> 1:08:16.360
<v Speaker 2>just been in the bedroom and our bedroom is next

1:08:16.400 --> 1:08:18.920
<v Speaker 2>door to the bathroom, and I was like, oh god,

1:08:19.680 --> 1:08:21.599
<v Speaker 2>I know where she is. And I opened the door

1:08:21.680 --> 1:08:24.240
<v Speaker 2>and she had I don't know if this is bad, guys,

1:08:24.240 --> 1:08:27.880
<v Speaker 2>but she had eaten an entire lipstick, like the whole thing.

1:08:27.960 --> 1:08:31.880
<v Speaker 2>I mean, was it organic, No, it was Revlong Color Stay.

1:08:32.160 --> 1:08:35.200
<v Speaker 2>She had eaten it down to the nub, and I

1:08:35.240 --> 1:08:37.240
<v Speaker 2>reckon there was about three quarters of a lipstick in that.

1:08:37.640 --> 1:08:41.280
<v Speaker 2>I mean, she's not the first child in a whole lipstick,

1:08:41.400 --> 1:08:44.080
<v Speaker 2>so I feel like she's probably okay. I gave her

1:08:44.120 --> 1:08:46.880
<v Speaker 2>like organic vegetables for lunch to try and even it out.

1:08:47.280 --> 1:08:48.439
<v Speaker 2>Don't think of works like that.

1:08:48.439 --> 1:08:49.840
<v Speaker 1>That's like when I eat a block of chocolate, I

1:08:49.840 --> 1:08:51.760
<v Speaker 1>go and into Karen arter itcause I'm like fixed it.

1:08:51.920 --> 1:08:55.519
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, absolutely, it's like one minus one equal zero. My

1:08:55.640 --> 1:08:58.439
<v Speaker 2>child is a holy temple. Again, I'm like, you know,

1:08:58.479 --> 1:09:00.240
<v Speaker 2>you try so hard to make sure that you're your

1:09:00.320 --> 1:09:02.559
<v Speaker 2>children don't eat bad things, like they're not eating sugar,

1:09:02.600 --> 1:09:06.040
<v Speaker 2>they're not eating like anything that's processed, and then all

1:09:06.040 --> 1:09:09.240
<v Speaker 2>of a sudden they eat an entire Revlon Color Stay lipstick,

1:09:09.960 --> 1:09:12.559
<v Speaker 2>which you know what, there you go. It'satur roll cookie dough,

1:09:12.560 --> 1:09:14.559
<v Speaker 2>isn't it. Yeah, Well, I don't know which one would

1:09:14.560 --> 1:09:16.880
<v Speaker 2>have been worse, But that also I don't know if

1:09:16.880 --> 1:09:19.000
<v Speaker 2>that was my stage. That's a sweet for sure. That

1:09:19.120 --> 1:09:21.040
<v Speaker 2>was so funny. It was the cutest thing. It was

1:09:21.120 --> 1:09:23.120
<v Speaker 2>very cute. I feel like we're at that We're at

1:09:23.120 --> 1:09:26.080
<v Speaker 2>that phase now of parenting where like your children will

1:09:26.080 --> 1:09:29.000
<v Speaker 2>get into the goro, Yeah, where I just leave my

1:09:29.040 --> 1:09:32.040
<v Speaker 2>children unsupervised for twenty minutes and be like, now, hang on,

1:09:32.080 --> 1:09:33.920
<v Speaker 2>where's that thing that I usually have attached to me?

1:09:36.240 --> 1:09:39.599
<v Speaker 2>She's so self self sufficion Now It's fine anyway, guys,

1:09:39.840 --> 1:09:42.360
<v Speaker 2>that is us for this week. I mean, no, that's

1:09:42.439 --> 1:09:44.760
<v Speaker 2>us for today. We've still got another episode this week.

1:09:45.920 --> 1:09:48.639
<v Speaker 2>It's all happening. I'm down two more days. Oh gosh,

1:09:48.680 --> 1:09:50.800
<v Speaker 2>it's gonna be wild. We really hope that you enjoyed

1:09:50.840 --> 1:09:53.439
<v Speaker 2>the episode. We hope that you learned something. Please, if

1:09:53.439 --> 1:09:57.080
<v Speaker 2>you have any accidentally unfiltered stories, we need your most

1:09:57.120 --> 1:10:00.400
<v Speaker 2>embarrassing story. Guys like you will stay anonymous. We will

1:10:00.439 --> 1:10:02.559
<v Speaker 2>never ever share that. We'll take that shit to the grave,

1:10:02.880 --> 1:10:05.479
<v Speaker 2>but let us laugh with you and at you whilst

1:10:05.520 --> 1:10:08.240
<v Speaker 2>we do it. Thanks again for all the amazing reviews

1:10:08.240 --> 1:10:11.080
<v Speaker 2>you guys been reading to. We really really really loved them.

1:10:11.080 --> 1:10:13.679
<v Speaker 2>The last few days there have been some bloody good ones.

1:10:13.840 --> 1:10:16.280
<v Speaker 2>People are putting a lot of thought in. I really

1:10:16.360 --> 1:10:18.640
<v Speaker 2>enjoyed the review that someone wrote where they compared us

1:10:18.640 --> 1:10:21.320
<v Speaker 2>to the hot tale at the end of Spa. Also

1:10:21.439 --> 1:10:23.679
<v Speaker 2>five stars for that review. That was my favorite. Yeah,

1:10:23.720 --> 1:10:25.599
<v Speaker 2>we were a spa. I've never been a spa before.

1:10:25.640 --> 1:10:27.720
<v Speaker 2>It was like the nicest thing anyone's ever said. I

1:10:27.760 --> 1:10:29.360
<v Speaker 2>was like, They're the sorts of words of affirmation that

1:10:29.360 --> 1:10:30.920
<v Speaker 2>I really need in my life. We were in a spa.

1:10:30.960 --> 1:10:32.680
<v Speaker 2>We were a towel at the spa. We were the

1:10:32.720 --> 1:10:34.360
<v Speaker 2>hot talel at the end of a spa. Oh my god,

1:10:34.400 --> 1:10:36.639
<v Speaker 2>I have a story for you. Then before we go, Oh.

1:10:36.479 --> 1:10:39.000
<v Speaker 1>My god, Wow that came out of nowhere. Is this

1:10:39.040 --> 1:10:40.640
<v Speaker 1>is a hot towel story to sit in.

1:10:40.840 --> 1:10:43.519
<v Speaker 2>This is gonna so I'm gonna go Rogue'm gonna tell

1:10:43.520 --> 1:10:45.200
<v Speaker 2>you a story before we actually get into the end

1:10:45.200 --> 1:10:47.760
<v Speaker 2>of the episode. When I was in Bali this one time,

1:10:47.960 --> 1:10:50.639
<v Speaker 2>I had been going to this spa like this this

1:10:50.800 --> 1:10:55.320
<v Speaker 2>face spa, this is funny, okay, And I'd be going

1:10:55.360 --> 1:10:57.040
<v Speaker 2>every day and I loved it. I'd go and get

1:10:57.040 --> 1:10:58.640
<v Speaker 2>my massage and like one of the things that I

1:10:58.680 --> 1:11:00.640
<v Speaker 2>loved about it was that you there and they'd give

1:11:00.640 --> 1:11:02.920
<v Speaker 2>you this cold towel that had been in the freezer,

1:11:03.160 --> 1:11:05.479
<v Speaker 2>and it had like lavender oil and beautiful things like

1:11:05.560 --> 1:11:08.479
<v Speaker 2>all mixed into it. And it was just the most

1:11:08.600 --> 1:11:11.680
<v Speaker 2>beautifully refreshing thing to receive because you just get off

1:11:11.720 --> 1:11:14.040
<v Speaker 2>your like sweaty scooter and you're so hot, so like

1:11:14.080 --> 1:11:16.519
<v Speaker 2>the humidity and Bali's crazy, and you get inside this

1:11:16.600 --> 1:11:21.360
<v Speaker 2>nice cool room and put this frozen towel on your face. Anyway,

1:11:21.479 --> 1:11:23.280
<v Speaker 2>so I was there with a girlfriend and I was

1:11:23.400 --> 1:11:25.640
<v Speaker 2>raving on about this spa, and so we get on

1:11:25.680 --> 1:11:27.960
<v Speaker 2>the scooter, we drive there, we get inside. I book

1:11:28.000 --> 1:11:30.040
<v Speaker 2>him for like my hour massage and my facial and

1:11:30.040 --> 1:11:32.000
<v Speaker 2>all this shit. And I sit down and the guy

1:11:32.000 --> 1:11:34.320
<v Speaker 2>brings over this towel, this towel that I have been

1:11:34.760 --> 1:11:37.720
<v Speaker 2>raving to her about for ages. And I pick up

1:11:37.760 --> 1:11:40.320
<v Speaker 2>a towel and I rub it on my face and

1:11:40.360 --> 1:11:42.000
<v Speaker 2>I rub it on my hands, and then I rub

1:11:42.040 --> 1:11:43.599
<v Speaker 2>it down my neck, and then I rub it all

1:11:43.600 --> 1:11:45.200
<v Speaker 2>over my chest, and then I rub it over my

1:11:45.280 --> 1:11:48.720
<v Speaker 2>back and then it starts to dry a little bit,

1:11:49.680 --> 1:11:54.639
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, oh, oh my god, Oh my god, Nadia,

1:11:54.680 --> 1:11:58.360
<v Speaker 2>can you smell me? And she was like, oh my god.

1:11:58.920 --> 1:12:01.680
<v Speaker 2>Someone had fucking pissed on it and put it in

1:12:01.800 --> 1:12:10.880
<v Speaker 2>the freezer. And I had rubbed it all over me

1:12:11.560 --> 1:12:13.759
<v Speaker 2>or I'm not, I am not kidding, Like you could

1:12:13.800 --> 1:12:16.400
<v Speaker 2>not mistake the smell. It smelt like I had bathed

1:12:16.439 --> 1:12:20.880
<v Speaker 2>in a man's urinal. I had rubbed a urinal cake

1:12:20.920 --> 1:12:23.120
<v Speaker 2>on me, is what it smelt like. I'm so confused.

1:12:23.160 --> 1:12:26.400
<v Speaker 2>Who would do that? Obviously some disgruntled employee did it?

1:12:26.600 --> 1:12:29.519
<v Speaker 2>Not only that, like my tower was considerably more yellow

1:12:29.560 --> 1:12:33.479
<v Speaker 2>than Nadia's tower as well. And I screamed, bloody murder,

1:12:33.520 --> 1:12:35.320
<v Speaker 2>and I ran into the bathroom and then I splashed

1:12:35.360 --> 1:12:38.520
<v Speaker 2>water all over myself. And I was in such disbelief

1:12:38.640 --> 1:12:41.080
<v Speaker 2>and found it so funny. At the time, I still

1:12:41.120 --> 1:12:44.320
<v Speaker 2>went through with my massage. I might you didn't even

1:12:44.400 --> 1:12:47.760
<v Speaker 2>say anything I did, but oh, they just kind of

1:12:47.800 --> 1:12:53.759
<v Speaker 2>laughed at me. Are you serious? It was you? Anyway,

1:12:54.080 --> 1:12:56.400
<v Speaker 2>there was a nice little bonus I certainly unfilled for

1:12:56.479 --> 1:12:58.680
<v Speaker 2>the end of the episode. How did you forget that

1:12:59.560 --> 1:13:01.759
<v Speaker 2>a lot of things have happened to me in my life, Brendan,

1:13:01.920 --> 1:13:04.160
<v Speaker 2>that you just boxed it away, boxed it away. He

1:13:04.280 --> 1:13:06.479
<v Speaker 2>put the trauma in a box, and you put it

1:13:06.520 --> 1:13:08.519
<v Speaker 2>into your closet until you sit down and do a

1:13:08.560 --> 1:13:15.799
<v Speaker 2>podcast and it just really brings out those suppressed memories. Okay,

1:13:15.920 --> 1:13:18.400
<v Speaker 2>all right, Well on that note, guys, if you have

1:13:18.520 --> 1:13:22.519
<v Speaker 2>any questions for I Ask Uncut episode for Thursday, please

1:13:22.520 --> 1:13:25.200
<v Speaker 2>are write in. Also, if you haven't joined the Facebook

1:13:25.240 --> 1:13:27.719
<v Speaker 2>group yet, you need to get on that, like sort

1:13:27.760 --> 1:13:30.599
<v Speaker 2>your life out. It is at Life Uncut podcast. There

1:13:30.640 --> 1:13:34.320
<v Speaker 2>is also at Life Uncut Podcasts for Instagram. And that's

1:13:34.360 --> 1:13:39.800
<v Speaker 2>all there is, folks. There isn't anymore. No, we're not

1:13:39.800 --> 1:13:42.479
<v Speaker 2>gonna start a new ending. We shed a love because

1:13:42.840 --> 1:14:03.920
<v Speaker 2>we will. Dana Bayoa