Speaker 1: Flexen Frooms.
Speaker 2: I'm cater the Flex and Frooms Big Icon Energy podcast.
Speaker 1: Recorded live It's studios three oh one in Sydney.
Speaker 3: Welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 2: Look, this is a new one, friends and foes. Whoever
Speaker 2: is listening. We have a live studio audience as we're
Speaker 2: recording this podcast. Everybody say, AI captain.
Speaker 3: That came very naturally.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 3: We're in the same generation.
Speaker 1: Is you know what that reminds me of? There was
Speaker 1: some TikTok of this person sitting in the nosebleeds filming
Speaker 1: a crowd clapping on beat and they were like, oh,
Speaker 1: nothing feels more like a simulation than this, And I
Speaker 1: was like, classic audience engagement, feels like a simulation. Get
Speaker 1: offline anyway, Please continue.
Speaker 2: Today on the podcast. You're gonna hear some hooting and
Speaker 2: some hollering and some cupping and some wing with our
Speaker 2: audience powered by Bonds.
Speaker 1: I love who did that?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: I love it?
Speaker 3: In the front row, Welcome. What's your name?
Speaker 2: Nenley Linley like lindsay Lived.
Speaker 3: That's a bit offul name.
Speaker 1: How do you spell it?
Speaker 3: Linley?
Speaker 2: So yeah, it is a bit like lindsay yeah, yeah, you're.
Speaker 1: The substute teacher who refuses to pronounce the name correctly,
Speaker 1: like go, it's this not quite no.
Speaker 2: Anyway, We're going to be talking about energy vampires. What
Speaker 2: constitutes a energy vampire? How can you avoid them in life?
Speaker 3: And are you the.
Speaker 2: Real problem that's on that big icon energy.
Speaker 1: Green line theory? Have you heard of it? Have you not?
Speaker 3: I have paddles up.
Speaker 1: Who's heard of it? What do you guys do on
Speaker 1: the internet? This is where I'm so concerned about. I
Speaker 1: really feel like the internet, TikTok, social media is give
Speaker 1: me this illusion that I'm as close to the world
Speaker 1: as possible, Like we're all consuming the same content. It's
Speaker 1: just not true.
Speaker 2: Anybody get this tastes the biscuit, Yeah, tastes of goodness.
Speaker 1: Not our community. That's okay. So every now and then
Speaker 1: I come across a psychological phenomena which I have to
Speaker 1: ask myself. Are we pathologizing, you know, creating, or like
Speaker 1: looking at really generic human behavior and trying to assign
Speaker 1: meaning to it where there is no meaning? Or is
Speaker 1: this going to change our lives? I'm not sure, but
Speaker 1: I enjoy doing both of them. So there was this
Speaker 1: random TikTok creator and he has introduced the world to
Speaker 1: the green line theory, and what he says is that
Speaker 1: if you look at a picture of a couple or
Speaker 1: people who are romantically involved, I guess it's a couple
Speaker 1: couple who knows. Imagine there's a picture two people, a
Speaker 1: couple whoever is leaning in. Maybe they're like leaning on
Speaker 1: a shoulder, maybe they're just orienting their body. Apparently they
Speaker 1: are the less dominant person in the dynamic. They're the
Speaker 1: person who is probably more anxious, who doesn't feel as secure,
Speaker 1: who's maybe needier or whatever. And to this person, theorizes
Speaker 1: that when you're in a dynamic, you kind of want
Speaker 1: to be the person who is standing up straight. In
Speaker 1: all photos people think, Okay, well what if I'm shorter,
Speaker 1: what if they're taller? What if you know that's my
Speaker 1: good side or my bad side? Why? What about my
Speaker 1: body image is telling you that I'm not the secure
Speaker 1: or dominant party in this relationship. He goes on to
Speaker 1: express that so much of how we, you know, move
Speaker 1: and orient our bodies is subconscious, and it's learned, and
Speaker 1: it speaks before we do. It speaks before we have
Speaker 1: time to be aware of what it is that we're
Speaker 1: feeling or doing, and So if you want to analyze
Speaker 1: your own like friendships, relationships, partnerships, look at the way
Speaker 1: you orient yourself in a photo. Do I agree with this?
Speaker 1: I want to say no, only because I feel as
Speaker 1: though women, especially you're socialized to like do a lot
Speaker 1: in photos that men aren't like. I just know people
Speaker 1: awkwardly stand still if they're not comfortable in front of
Speaker 1: the camera. When did people stop doing this? It's a
Speaker 1: tilt smile. I don't think we've done I mean this, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: okay with the tilt smile. I think it's not the
Speaker 1: years that you phase it out, it's how many photos
Speaker 1: you've taken. So I think once you've taken let's say
Speaker 1: a thousand photos of yourself, you'll graduate to the next post.
Speaker 1: I think everything just like wears out eventually. So if
Speaker 1: you haven't taken heaps of photos since high school, your
Speaker 1: go to is like still the you know, the thumbs up,
Speaker 1: or like the cheeky smile, or like the forty five
Speaker 1: degree neck or something is that forty five yeah, something
Speaker 1: like that. Do you believe in the green line theory?
Speaker 3: Absolutely?
Speaker 1: What.
Speaker 2: That's one thing I can hand on heart completely agree with.
Speaker 3: Now that you know the green line theory.
Speaker 2: Go on Facebook and look at all the people that
Speaker 2: are getting engaged, that are getting married, old couples, your
Speaker 2: own photos, and you'll see it confirms the dynamic.
Speaker 1: So what are your photos saying?
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm always always alone? So oh no, well, wear's
Speaker 2: that big like on energy photo of us two?
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure I'm leaning into you.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I definitely classic anxious word dynamic where let's
Speaker 1: we just like role playing science.
Speaker 3: I see it because I've seen it.
Speaker 2: You say about the like different posture and different sizes
Speaker 2: of people. I've definitely seen really taller people like crouched
Speaker 2: down onto their partner.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I see. I just feel like if they're
Speaker 1: all the pseudoscience to believe in the green Lion theory
Speaker 1: feels the most baseless to me.
Speaker 2: All right, let's get a quick pull. Do you believe
Speaker 2: in grain line theory?
Speaker 1: Ooh okay, flow up question. Do you believe so much
Speaker 1: in the green lion theory that you're purposely never angling
Speaker 1: yourself to your partner? Because I think that's once, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe you start orienting your body differently, but you don't
Speaker 1: behave or think differently.
Speaker 3: I'll definitely be doing that anyone else?
Speaker 2: Okay, anyway, energy vampires, do you know what they are?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yes or no?
Speaker 3: Yes? They are people that suck the energy out of
Speaker 3: a conversation and a vibe.
Speaker 1: Yes, but not just that. It's a very particular type
Speaker 1: of person. It's not to say that that is your identity.
Speaker 1: I think that everybody has it within them to just
Speaker 1: like suck the life out of a conversation, to derail it,
Speaker 1: to not be able to assess the energy in the room,
Speaker 1: or to be so unaware of how much they disrupt
Speaker 1: the energy in a room. It's very tricky because I
Speaker 1: used to think that this was like a me problem,
Speaker 1: Like if I'm observing that somebody is messing up my energy,
Speaker 1: that's a me problem. So I've got to be more charismatic,
Speaker 1: take myself out of the room, whatever it might be.
Speaker 1: But no, it's the real epidemic. So I think that
Speaker 1: energy vampires are like number one, the type of people
Speaker 1: that at one point were really gratified for making themselves
Speaker 1: making other people responsible for them. I think it's a
Speaker 1: very great skill to recognize that you don't have to
Speaker 1: do life alone, and that I am your responsibility and
Speaker 1: you're my responsibility. Right, So if I'm going through something
Speaker 1: and I express that as a community like, it's your
Speaker 1: business too. Now if I say I'm thirsty and you
Speaker 1: don't do anything about it, well that's odd. However, there's
Speaker 1: some why are you looking funny?
Speaker 3: Wait?
Speaker 1: Wait?
Speaker 3: Wait, are you a vampire in that?
Speaker 1: No, that's just community responsibility, babe. An energy vampire. Though,
Speaker 1: Think about the characteristics of a vampire. Like, we're not
Speaker 1: talking Edward Cullen, we're not talking Eric Northman, we're not
Speaker 1: talking Bill Compton. We're talking traditionally, people who come in unannounced,
Speaker 1: people who literally suck the life force out of you
Speaker 1: with no remorse. People who are quite violent in their
Speaker 1: pursuit of pleasure.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 1: That's like a very hectic way to phrase it. But
Speaker 1: with everyday people, it's like those people you're kind of like,
Speaker 1: you are relentless in how much you are taking from
Speaker 1: me and you don't even realize. Like that friend who's
Speaker 1: always got a problem, always got to call you, that
Speaker 1: friend who's like, we've got to hang out only to
Speaker 1: talk about what they need to talk about, the kind
Speaker 1: of person's like, can you hold space for me? And
Speaker 1: then decides to like, you know, build a house in
Speaker 1: your heart and your mind, and you're like, okay, but
Speaker 1: what about me? And so I've been thinking realistically because
Speaker 1: I have like two people in mind that I'm thinking
Speaker 1: of as we speak, Brook and from Are they in
Speaker 1: the room? Are they in the room with us right now?
Speaker 1: You will never know? But because I used to be
Speaker 1: like very confrontational, not that I'm not confrontational now, but
Speaker 1: now I realize I'm sensitive. So I don't want to
Speaker 1: have confrontations right because just because I could doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that I want to. But now I'm like really avoidant
Speaker 1: with dealing with people. I've got someone in my messages
Speaker 1: right now who sent me this long apology apologizing for
Speaker 1: being an energy vampire. But we're like six years into
Speaker 1: a friendship. This is just who you are. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: if I respond, am I just validating the thing that
Speaker 1: energy vampires do, which is fake self awareness only to
Speaker 1: like extract more from you south the cycle again. So
Speaker 1: I'm actually quite stressed about it, in like a in
Speaker 1: like a I'm not going to do anything about it
Speaker 1: because I'm over it.
Speaker 2: I love her, you know, experience to stress and let
Speaker 2: it ride over you for me? Do you resonate, Yes,
Speaker 2: on absolutely, I do. I have a question for you
Speaker 2: first though, So you are someone who's on the internet,
Speaker 2: who's on our show cater on Selextion, Frooms on.
Speaker 3: Cata, you're talking a lot about relationships.
Speaker 2: Do you then find it sounds like this person has
Speaker 2: heard about you speak about energy vampires, or maybe they're
Speaker 2: in like the self development sphere and they obviously know
Speaker 2: you quite well, they've known you for six years. Do
Speaker 2: you ever get people like looking at your Instagram stories
Speaker 2: and then being like oh shit and checking themselves and
Speaker 2: then apologizing to you like is that a regular occurrence?
Speaker 1: Not as much as they should and like that was
Speaker 1: a cry for help. You didn't take the hit. No,
Speaker 1: I mean I think that, like, if I'm ever saying
Speaker 1: anything overwhelmingly positive, then people like that must be me, Like,
Speaker 1: I definitely resonate if it's even remotely negative, Everyone's like,
Speaker 1: that's where the other person that bypassed me and it's
Speaker 1: going straight to them. In this instance though, I think that,
Speaker 1: like I used to create a lot of space, how
Speaker 1: do I say it? As a girlie who is a
Speaker 1: big talker people, I think I like to talk. No,
Speaker 1: if I'm sitting at home in my own space. I
Speaker 1: don't want to talk. On the weekends, I don't want
Speaker 1: to talk. In my spare time, I don't want to talk.
Speaker 1: I just happen to have the skill, and I use
Speaker 1: it so often, and I've convinced myself that, like every
Speaker 1: kind of conflict in my life required a conversation to
Speaker 1: get over it. And then I talked myself into a
Speaker 1: stupor where I'm like, you could just want to hear
Speaker 1: me speak because at this point, why am I having
Speaker 1: the same conversation again and again and again? And in
Speaker 1: this instance, sometimes I wonder, like when people apologize or
Speaker 1: when people are aware of their wrongdoing, how much of
Speaker 1: this is for you to like get through this thing
Speaker 1: that you're feeling, this bird and this guilt, And how
Speaker 1: much is because you recognize that it's impacting me? Because
Speaker 1: I'm like, if you do something shady, you kind of
Speaker 1: know within the first like I don't know week or
Speaker 1: so you're like, oh, that's not great, But like I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna it's been the same thing again and again
Speaker 1: and again. I'm just like I don't know what to
Speaker 1: do with this information because I don't have the emotional
Speaker 1: energy for it. And that's the thing about energy vampire,
Speaker 1: Like you don't even realize this conversation is taking up
Speaker 1: way more of my energy than yours. It was a
Speaker 1: flippant thought for you. And now I'm sitting with it
Speaker 1: like a little energy vampire. Baby, Someone's gonna look after
Speaker 1: it otherwise I'm negligent. You know. I don't want that,
Speaker 1: But I do think that if you don't know the
Speaker 1: energy vampire, you are the energy vampire. I'm so sorry. Like,
Speaker 1: and there's something about it, like whether or not you
Speaker 1: feel like you resonate with it or not. For every
Speaker 1: one person that exists, there is an energy vampire counterpart.
Speaker 1: That's just that's just the balance of the flat shade.
Speaker 1: So like, for real, put your paddles up? Are you
Speaker 1: the energy vampire? Put up rooms this paddle?
Speaker 3: See?
Speaker 1: I love it? Do you know the energy vampire put
Speaker 1: up my paddle? See that? That's absurd to me. How
Speaker 1: we all know an energy vampire but nobody is the
Speaker 1: nfgy vampire. Do you know what I'm saying? Someone's off totally.
Speaker 2: I like that you somehow docks everyone like you think that.
Speaker 3: I knew it.
Speaker 1: I have.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't say that I've.
Speaker 2: Been called an energy vampire in the past, but something
Speaker 2: who's ocouraged me that I've actually been thinking about a
Speaker 2: lot lately. I saw this meme which is like everyone's
Speaker 2: talking about like if you just need me, like I'm
Speaker 2: here for you, Da da da, And then there's like
Speaker 2: a very certain what's it called, like demographic of people
Speaker 2: that are very much the people that say that, and
Speaker 2: then like, sorry, I just like can't hold space for
Speaker 2: you right now.
Speaker 3: That's happened to me in the past. I remember once
Speaker 3: I was going through.
Speaker 2: A little bit of a bad time and I reach
Speaker 2: out to this woman that I usually have like really
Speaker 2: good chats with she used to be a work colleague,
Speaker 2: and she literally hit me like I was at my
Speaker 2: rock bottom, like I've exhausted my options of people to
Speaker 2: talk with. It's like, look, I really like I just
Speaker 2: don't have space for you right now. And I reckon
Speaker 2: like as much as I was probably the like considered
Speaker 2: the vampire there that is a vampire energy by not
Speaker 2: giving a little a little bit of a like lifeline
Speaker 2: is vampire vibes Because I.
Speaker 3: Know you've got space. You just can't be bothering, you
Speaker 3: can't be fucked. I can say, would yeah, I feel that.
Speaker 1: Look I will, I will say in that instance, though
Speaker 1: words mean things, and you know how for example, you're
Speaker 1: not gonna hear me say if you need me, just
Speaker 1: call me, because I'm the type of person if I
Speaker 1: can sharp for you, I will. Like for me's reference
Speaker 1: on occasion, she's always so surprised in areas where I
Speaker 1: extend myself to other people. I would never do it
Speaker 1: unless I meant it so, like I will drive you
Speaker 1: home after the functional, I will let you borrow that
Speaker 1: thing if I've offered it up myself. If you ask it,
Speaker 1: chances are I'm gonna say no, only because I don't
Speaker 1: want to create a dynamic where you expect that I'll
Speaker 1: do anything for you, because realistically, when it comes time
Speaker 1: to cash in, like you said, how am I meant
Speaker 1: to know that? Like, yes, I did say that I
Speaker 1: would be there for you, but that was last spring,
Speaker 1: and that was a good time for me. We're in
Speaker 1: this spring. Things are more difficult. I don't know, it's tricky.
Speaker 1: So would you say you're more often the energy vampire than.
Speaker 2: The blood donor blood donor.
Speaker 3: Probably vampire.
Speaker 2: I talk about my problems a lot because I'm trying
Speaker 2: to work through it.
Speaker 3: But as I got older, the more.
Speaker 2: I'm realizing that, like, nothing is free, and if you're
Speaker 2: doing that to someone, they're like, it's not actually exciting for.
Speaker 3: Them to talk about your problems. Do you reckon a favor?
Speaker 2: Well, to an extent, I think if you've got like
Speaker 2: a mutual relationship where you do it, that's fine. But
Speaker 2: otherwise nope, find someone else that's vampire and do vampiring together.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Anyway, Yeah, that's on that.
Speaker 3: Now, Sexy. I wanted to tell you.
Speaker 2: Today about something that I learned yesterday.
Speaker 3: Via The Guardian.
Speaker 2: Apparently there's a thing you can do, not only in
Speaker 2: Australia but around the world where you create your very
Speaker 2: own country.
Speaker 3: How that works? No, I haven't anybody else. Oh my god,
Speaker 3: just you wait.
Speaker 2: So apparently what you can do is you can disband
Speaker 2: from the country that you're in to create your own
Speaker 2: micro nation.
Speaker 1: I don't understand. I'm like, what, Okay, let's go back
Speaker 1: to basics for a second. There. What constitutes as a country?
Speaker 1: What makes it not a suburb?
Speaker 3: Okay, let me give you an example.
Speaker 2: In nineteen ninety three, there was this guy that lived
Speaker 2: in Mossman can't remember his name, it's right.
Speaker 1: And what he wanted to.
Speaker 2: Do was he wanted to make a driveway from some
Speaker 2: other area through his house, but he need to cut
Speaker 2: through like national park. So he got it approved and
Speaker 2: then a new council came in and the council was like,
Speaker 2: you can't do that, it's deforestation or whatever. But then
Speaker 2: he's like, nah, I really want to make my driveway.
Speaker 2: He got into a stoush with the council so bad
Speaker 2: that he's like, whatever, I'm going to leave Australia create
Speaker 2: my own legal country so it can become like a
Speaker 2: diplomatic battle between countries.
Speaker 3: Did he win?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Did it cost the council one hundred and fifty thousand
Speaker 2: dollars to be disputing or you know, defending these decisions.
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: So how does it work?
Speaker 6: Though?
Speaker 1: Like what makes a country a country? If I wanted
Speaker 1: to make a country today, what am I doing?
Speaker 2: You have to like create a document that says that
Speaker 2: you're disbanding and then.
Speaker 1: So that means you're no longer an Australian citizen.
Speaker 2: I think you get to keep the same citizenship, but
Speaker 2: you also have your own nation and you become like
Speaker 2: a prince or a prince, a prince, so literally in
Speaker 2: this article they've like got quotes from this guy. It's
Speaker 2: like Prince Prince. I keep saying, I want to say
Speaker 2: Prince Andrew or Prince Philip. Who's another prince that's not them?
Speaker 1: Are keen? If you know? You mean?
Speaker 3: Yeah? But yeah, so would you do that?
Speaker 1: Well, you haven't told me how. I keep asking, how
Speaker 1: do you do it? What is the country? When can
Speaker 1: we get it done? You're like, so this guy must
Speaker 1: man and he said, if it's simple, I'll do it.
Speaker 1: If it's like slightly difficult, like you know, getting a
Speaker 1: new passport, I'll do it. Anything harder, I'm not doing
Speaker 1: it pretty sure.
Speaker 3: It's really easy. But do I know how to? Of
Speaker 3: course not.
Speaker 2: Something else you'll learn in this recording is that I
Speaker 2: don't believe in Google.
Speaker 3: It's purely vibes.
Speaker 1: Don't be offended if for me doesn't fact check, it's
Speaker 1: just what she's doing. Big Icon Energy.
Speaker 3: It's time for one of my favorite segment now.
Speaker 2: When Flex and I are conceptualizing our show with Kita,
Speaker 2: we were all sitting in a room with a whiteboard.
Speaker 3: Coming up with different ideas.
Speaker 2: We started with a thing called sibling rivalries where we'd
Speaker 2: pit two celebrity siblings up against each other.
Speaker 3: That lasted about a Week's.
Speaker 1: One of your ideas, though, like give it some love
Speaker 1: because you loved it at the time, and now it's
Speaker 1: just you know, it's not here anymore.
Speaker 2: Well, all I was thinking about was bart and Lisa.
Speaker 2: But you can only do that once once. You can't
Speaker 2: really rinse that anyway. This segment is called love Line,
Speaker 2: where people text in or message in to us with
Speaker 2: their love relationship problems and.
Speaker 3: We give them.
Speaker 2: I guess it is solicited advice yea, but it's certainly
Speaker 2: not that valuable in some respects.
Speaker 1: I disagree.
Speaker 2: But we have one that was sent in by one
Speaker 2: of our guests here in the recording. I believe her
Speaker 2: name is Charlotte, and we have given her a microphone. Now, Charlotte,
Speaker 2: would you mind standing up?
Speaker 3: I think you're right in the eyeline of.
Speaker 1: It, not the standing h yah, that's so Charlotte.
Speaker 3: Yay, Hi Charlotte. Look you can just launch right into it.
Speaker 5: Well, I definitely need some advice, sort of want to
Speaker 5: reconnect with like an ex boyfriend.
Speaker 1: It ended on like good terms, what does that mean?
Speaker 5: Mutually goes to each other, but it just happened.
Speaker 3: Sexy just sort of want to reconnect.
Speaker 5: We're really like close kind of twins, like same personalities,
Speaker 5: same interests, but I just don't really know how to
Speaker 5: do it.
Speaker 1: This is an ex boyfriend.
Speaker 5: Yeah, how many I feel like you're really concerned?
Speaker 1: Is actually it's because my left eye won't stop twitching,
Speaker 1: and so I'm having to like emote extra to keep it.
Speaker 1: Like anyway, we'll talk about later. How many months we together?
Speaker 1: Like six? Heckic? Okay, all right, please take a seat, Charlotte.
Speaker 1: Thank thanks.
Speaker 3: If Charlotte.
Speaker 2: In an ideal world, ideally he's listening. If he's a
Speaker 2: well cultured gent, he's definitely listening. Okay, I love this, guys.
Speaker 2: This is like the stakes are high. So in my opinion,
Speaker 2: no breakup is ever mutual.
Speaker 3: Ever, put your paddle up if you agree.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's like forty five percent of the room.
Speaker 3: Okay, the eyes are saying at least seventy.
Speaker 2: I believe that no relationships and I think like mutually
Speaker 2: there's always someone instigating it, whether or not it's just
Speaker 2: like a ten percent instigation. It's a vibe that you
Speaker 2: both catch, you both got together. One person was chasing
Speaker 2: one person chases out.
Speaker 1: I often think the person who says it's mutual didn't
Speaker 1: do the breakup because as for me, when i'm I'm like,
Speaker 1: we broke up, and then I'd be like, I broke
Speaker 1: up with them just so you know you're savage. I
Speaker 1: feel really good about reconnecting with X's just for the plot. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I think life is too short and people's stories dating
Speaker 1: stories haven't been good since high school. I'm telling you,
Speaker 1: like back when I was eighteen seventeen, everything was juicy.
Speaker 1: The stakes were so high. People were willing to risk shane, guilt,
Speaker 1: fear anything for romance. I think now we're either cutting
Speaker 1: the cord too soon or not allowing room for playfulness.
Speaker 1: So I definitely think slide right through. I'm a bit
Speaker 1: feral in my dating approach if I'm on it, so
Speaker 1: I would just be straight in the text message with
Speaker 1: you miss me, question mark, or or I know you've
Speaker 1: been thinking about me full stop wow, because if you
Speaker 1: got it, you got it. And then if they're like, ha,
Speaker 1: what are you talking about? Be like ha, what are
Speaker 1: you talking about? You can't take a joke. It used
Speaker 1: to be funny.
Speaker 2: This is My biggest red flag the approach and then
Speaker 2: the oh, I was just joking.
Speaker 1: Wolf, it doesn't hit, doesn't hit. I'm not gonna embarrass myself.
Speaker 2: I'm sure I got one more question for you before
Speaker 2: we go. Is he like a shy guy or is
Speaker 2: he more forward?
Speaker 5: Should?
Speaker 3: I definitely? Okay?
Speaker 2: Well, I think you got two options here. First option
Speaker 2: is send him this podcast. However, I think you run
Speaker 2: the risk of making him feel too seen, because then
Speaker 2: you feel back together again, and it's like on recording.
Speaker 2: Some people get weird sometimes I tell stories about people.
Speaker 2: Once I told a story about my sister on the radio.
Speaker 2: Literally didn't speak to me for a month.
Speaker 3: Wasn't even bad.
Speaker 1: What was the story? Quick recap?
Speaker 2: Something about an expo friend that I hated, so like
Speaker 2: fair game? Maybe just do that? Hey, maybe just say
Speaker 2: I asked for advice in a public forum.
Speaker 3: I got some interesting advice. What would you prefer me
Speaker 3: to do? Slide in with a do you miss me?
Speaker 3: Or is this done?
Speaker 1: That is so meta because then he has to listen
Speaker 1: to the podcast. I find the find the timestamp, tune in,
Speaker 1: come back.
Speaker 2: It's too difficult, you know what, though, it is so
Speaker 2: nice to hear someone speak about you in a recorded format,
Speaker 2: you know, like.
Speaker 1: Think this through Free for Me is always doing role play,
Speaker 1: where like you ask her a very earnest question and
Speaker 1: she starts pulling abstract concepts. Very simple. Let's rephrase the
Speaker 1: question if your ex was going to slide back in
Speaker 1: your favorite X? We all have one? Yep, do we
Speaker 1: all have one? Paddles up? Okay, tough crowd.
Speaker 3: We need a camera on everyone else.
Speaker 1: So people don't have a favorite X. It's just me.
Speaker 1: But if your favorite X slid back in, what's the
Speaker 1: approach you'd want?
Speaker 2: I think mine's too far gone. Maybe just you were
Speaker 2: the best I ever had?
Speaker 1: Do you see what I'm talking about? Okay, it's terrible.
Speaker 2: I think I think we've given enough advice for one day.
Speaker 1: Can you confirm which she'll be going with? It's not
Speaker 1: a competition, but.
Speaker 3: See I get that FLEXI. You might not get it.
Speaker 3: I don't get it.
Speaker 1: And see maybe I can't. I just don't do I
Speaker 1: can't do KOI I can't do subtle. Maybe it's just
Speaker 1: a bit of a control freak when it comes to romance.
Speaker 1: But there's nothing I can't think of anything worse than
Speaker 1: the anxiety of when you know that you like someone
Speaker 1: and then you allow things to just like not happen.
Speaker 1: I just want to get through the cycle quickly. Be in,
Speaker 1: figure out what's happening. If it's not on, be out next.
Speaker 1: I don't want to like get too comfortable in the unknown.
Speaker 1: Why your eyes glazing over?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 3: You know what I'm thinking, and I think this will
Speaker 3: be for a later time.
Speaker 2: I think both approaches they're going in quickly to yeat
Speaker 2: out and not giving it any space for gray, and
Speaker 2: also never approaching and playing KOI are the set two
Speaker 2: sides of the same coin, which is anxious avoidant, dip in,
Speaker 2: dip out, need to know an answer then want to
Speaker 2: yeat away.
Speaker 3: That's what I think.
Speaker 1: I'm just avoidant, but thank you, I won't stop talking
Speaker 1: about this twitching. I think only because I'm not a hyperchondriac.
Speaker 1: If anything, I'm on the extreme other end of the
Speaker 1: spectrum where despite not drinking enough water and living a
Speaker 1: preservative based life style, I feel invincible all the time.
Speaker 1: You know, skin looks great, always got energy, whatever, whatever.
Speaker 1: But I went out like last weekend and Mum got
Speaker 1: near it naturally. But since then my left eye has
Speaker 1: been twitching and I'm like, have I done irreversible damage?
Speaker 1: We do have a doctor in the audience, So what
Speaker 1: would you say.
Speaker 7: I think that you're tired and stress.
Speaker 1: That's whatever. I think you're tired. I'm like, again, what
Speaker 1: can we do that information? Give me someone the work away.
Speaker 3: When you're stress?
Speaker 1: And like, I hear, but I'm not listening the ivy
Speaker 1: twitching anyway, please go on.
Speaker 2: So as part of our show here powered by Bond's
Speaker 2: Big Icon Energy, we need to ask the question what
Speaker 2: stops people from having big icon energy. I think one
Speaker 2: of the first steps in coming to terms with your
Speaker 2: flaws is maybe deciding do I have big like on energy?
Speaker 2: Am I being a bit shy? Am I overconfident? So
Speaker 2: it's a good question to ask yourself. I wanted to
Speaker 2: relate this back to sexiness because I found this really
Speaker 2: interesting TikTok by a guy called Achille More and it
Speaker 2: is the sexiness theory with a picture of Bellahadide.
Speaker 4: Recently, I've been thinking a lot about like what makes
Speaker 4: a person attractive, like what makes a person sexy? And
Speaker 4: I think I've come to like a really weird conclusion
Speaker 4: about it because I think, for like a long time
Speaker 4: in my life personally, I have not felt like hot
Speaker 4: in my own skin in like a really weird way,
Speaker 4: or like sometimes I would look in the mirror and
Speaker 4: I would feel like I was attractive, but I didn't
Speaker 4: necessarily feel sexy. And I think that there's a big
Speaker 4: difference in feeling attractive and feeling sexy. I saw this
Speaker 4: video recently where Courtney was saying, like, the times in
Speaker 4: my life where I was the skinniest were the times
Speaker 4: in my life where I was the most unhappy. And
Speaker 4: I've noticed that about myself too, because like, and here's.
Speaker 1: My thesis, I think sexy.
Speaker 3: I think we've got the idea.
Speaker 4: Hey, humanity more than anything. If you treat yourself like
Speaker 4: a robot and you let yourself eat like two calories
Speaker 4: a day and you give yourself these insane workout, it's
Speaker 4: almost treating your body as if it's like this machine
Speaker 4: that needs to be conquered and not as like a
Speaker 4: human that deserves like empathy and love.
Speaker 1: And that's something about getting to the point, you know,
Speaker 1: it could.
Speaker 6: Be half the time initially off the bat, what do
Speaker 6: you guys, do you agree with his hypothesis? What is
Speaker 6: the hypothesis that sexiness is not attributed to wait and
Speaker 6: like that. What I got from that is that essentially,
Speaker 6: when you are restricting, or when you're in a body
Speaker 6: that's not that's you get by means that are like
Speaker 6: starvation and stuff, you become less sexy because you're less
Speaker 6: human and it's more human to be more yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you.
Speaker 3: I get anybody else get that?
Speaker 1: Is that the vibe?
Speaker 2: No? Can we can we throw to the audience for
Speaker 2: this one? It would anyone be comfortable giving their hypothesis out?
Speaker 3: Or is that a bit rough? Yes?
Speaker 7: I'm actually training to be a psychiatrist. I think that
Speaker 7: it kind of comes down to insecurity, right, Like you're
Speaker 7: insecure enough about your body image that you're doing all
Speaker 7: these things, or like your sense of self will determine
Speaker 7: a lot about your icon energy, how others perceive you,
Speaker 7: how you perceive yourself.
Speaker 1: It was very convoluted.
Speaker 3: It was comal, wasn't it. I'm a bit confused.
Speaker 1: That's the issue with everyone being a publisher these days. No, Okay,
Speaker 1: what stops people from having big icon energy is this
Speaker 1: idea that they're not recognizing. They've already centered an idea
Speaker 1: of icon status, hotness, sexiness that is separate to them.
Speaker 1: And so as long as you are not the center
Speaker 1: of what you believe to be the physical manifestation of
Speaker 1: like hotness, sexiness, then you'll never have that. So I
Speaker 1: do think it one takes a level of delusion to
Speaker 1: accept yourself as you are and say like, yeah, I'm hot,
Speaker 1: or a big commitment to you know, centering or becoming
Speaker 1: what is the standard. But either way it requires like
Speaker 1: a choice and conviction from yourself to see it that way,
Speaker 1: and then when you start getting validated for it, you'll
Speaker 1: be like, oh, it was always meant to be this
Speaker 1: way to begin with.
Speaker 2: Whichever one you choose, Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 3: Well that's that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's get him to figure that out. Video out again.
Speaker 1: I want to get the point. I want to understand
Speaker 1: it. It didn't come through.
Speaker 3: We'll send him this and ask for notes.
Speaker 1: You've been listening to the Flags and Frooms Daily podcast.
Speaker 1: For more, tune in Decater on da B or stream
Speaker 1: it on iHeartRadio.