Speaker 1: The Flex and Rooms Daily podcast brought.
Speaker 2: You ay yeah yeai.
Speaker 3: You know I said to you a couple of weeks
Speaker 3: ago through me that I'm trying to do big thoughts
Speaker 3: all the time.
Speaker 2: I just don't have.
Speaker 4: Stop trying to not be yourself with Kai Hung.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's I'm very exhausted. For the first time
Speaker 3: in my life, I'm exhausting myself by just existing.
Speaker 2: That's never happened to me before.
Speaker 3: And it's because it's because these things that I used
Speaker 3: to do just incidentally by virtue of being myself have
Speaker 3: become core tenets that are upheld by everyone who interacts
Speaker 3: with me. I set a standard that I don't want
Speaker 3: to upkeep. How fuck do you think I feel about Shrek?
Speaker 2: I have not. I have not watched that movie.
Speaker 4: The whole way through ever in my life. I don't
Speaker 4: give a fuck about Shrek.
Speaker 2: And now it's a whole thing.
Speaker 4: Literally, people say to be Shrek me every day. My
Speaker 4: inbox is flooded, guys.
Speaker 3: Honestly, it's the paradox of like claiming an identity because
Speaker 3: all these like you know, like I said, incidental markers
Speaker 3: of you become so tiring to uphold like that one
Speaker 3: week in October, I was like, I'm gonna be a
Speaker 3: passive princess.
Speaker 2: Granted didn't work out because that's not me. But sometimes
Speaker 2: it's hard being a big bitch. You know, it's hard
Speaker 2: being a bit bitch.
Speaker 4: But look, all I'm gonna say is I'm wearing a
Speaker 4: top that's backwards and the little tag is scratching my
Speaker 4: neck and I actually want to punch something. I've never
Speaker 4: punched in the knees, something before I've punched a hole
Speaker 4: in the wool.
Speaker 2: I told you I was angry little fuck.
Speaker 5: See.
Speaker 3: But I think my issue is I don't know how
Speaker 3: to instinctively hold my thumbs. My nails are too long,
Speaker 3: and even if they weren't, I just don't know. If
Speaker 3: I'm an upper body strength kind of girl. I think
Speaker 3: I could choke someone out with my thighs because I
Speaker 3: really can lift heavy with my thighs, but with my arms,
Speaker 3: like I do a six kilo grand bicep curl. I'm like,
Speaker 3: this is hard.
Speaker 4: Really, I got better upper body strength and lower body
Speaker 4: strengths because my torso is longer than my than my
Speaker 4: short legs.
Speaker 2: Oh I'm a long leggo. Oh really yeah? Okay, my
Speaker 2: Barbie queen.
Speaker 3: Literally, hmmm, the tangents really get us.
Speaker 2: Let's beware. Brook.
Speaker 4: Our producer is literally like her eyebrows are like high.
Speaker 2: She's like nodding.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, girls, we're gonna wrap it up.
Speaker 2: I go to the vending machine and get a math.
Speaker 1: Bar stat literally flex and frooms.
Speaker 4: So I have a fact few flexi, and that is
Speaker 4: that babies, our target audience, smile on average two hundred
Speaker 4: times a day.
Speaker 2: Are you sure?
Speaker 4: Yeah, even when they're farting in a little smile.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Maybe we're just reading it. Maybe we're like, they're smiling,
Speaker 2: but they're just.
Speaker 3: Like gesturing and noting, and we're adding the meaning.
Speaker 4: And then apparently the average woman smiles sixty two times
Speaker 4: a day.
Speaker 2: I see that.
Speaker 4: I don't feel like enough. We'll guess how many times
Speaker 4: the average man smiles sixty eight eight times a day?
Speaker 4: Your average man.
Speaker 3: Smile, love, complimenting, make because it lands right.
Speaker 4: That eight eight times a day. Baby's away. I see
Speaker 4: it because then I started thinking, I thought, surely that
Speaker 4: can't be right. And then I'm going through the rolodex
Speaker 4: of men that I know. Josh in the studio smiles
Speaker 4: quite a bit, as does Will.
Speaker 2: Very friendly men.
Speaker 4: Yeah, trying to think of like think of my dad
Speaker 4: for example. Okay, jokes all the time, but he's not smiling.
Speaker 3: So we have a man in the room who does
Speaker 3: not feel like these statistics are accurate. He would say
Speaker 3: that men or at least he smiles more often than
Speaker 3: eight times. But I think we've got to be paying
Speaker 3: more attention.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I guess yeah, Like think about it.
Speaker 4: We're in the space, we're trying to be interesting or engaging.
Speaker 4: So I think it's your want to do is to smile,
Speaker 4: whereas if.
Speaker 2: You're smiling having a bit of a cackle.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but what if you're like doing a job, you're
Speaker 4: alone most of the time, what have you got to
Speaker 4: smile at? You don't have connection like.
Speaker 2: We really are. What have you got to smile at?
Speaker 2: The beauty of life? Probably not, do you know.
Speaker 3: I was watching a video the other day and it
Speaker 3: was talking about how how men subconsciously know when they
Speaker 3: stand in front of another man it is a defensive
Speaker 3: or offensive position, and so if you watch men communicate,
Speaker 3: they'll stand in forty five degree angles in relation to
Speaker 3: each other.
Speaker 1: I was like, what, so.
Speaker 2: Now I'm start looking around, I'm like, well, you got
Speaker 2: you don't do the front to front. Apparently it's too aggressive.
Speaker 2: That's so interesting. We've got to be paying more attention now,
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think. Yeah, men like standing cyber.
Speaker 3: Kind of like look at each other from the left
Speaker 3: and the right, not from the front.
Speaker 2: It's is a lot, that is so true. Yeah, we're
Speaker 2: got to be paying more attention.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, if you're a man listening, hit us up.
Speaker 4: Let us know what else we are coming so much
Speaker 4: about this unknown specie flex and fruits. Now. The other
Speaker 4: day we posted an Instagram real I must say to
Speaker 4: tutor own Horn. The posts have been posting, oh we
Speaker 4: love that. The engagement is all the way up my
Speaker 4: professional dashboard on Instagram popping poppin' p opp iron g
Speaker 4: All right, so we did one about whether or not
Speaker 4: you brush your teeth at the at the sink or
Speaker 4: in the shower. Yes, the comments were very divisive, as
Speaker 4: we know. However, the newest comment is from somebody called
Speaker 4: tiger Thorn, and it reads, I was told by a
Speaker 4: plumber family member.
Speaker 3: Okay, so not even a dentist, not even a dentist.
Speaker 4: I was told by a plumber family member. We all
Speaker 4: have one mine's David Price. He's master plumbing in Melbourne's family.
Speaker 2: Huh is that family? Yes? My cousin.
Speaker 4: Okay, he's looks he looks like me, but a boy
Speaker 4: like flu. Why are we going somebody this week? I'm struggling.
Speaker 4: The brain is the brain is buffering. I was told
Speaker 4: by a plumber family member that brushing teeth in the
Speaker 4: shower is kind of dangerous because shower heads gather all
Speaker 4: kinds of bacteria and can transmit Leisionnaire's disease when the
Speaker 4: water is ingestice?
Speaker 2: Is my don't all taps do that? Who clean the
Speaker 2: inside of their tap? Ever? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, this is
Speaker 2: what I want to find out as well.
Speaker 4: The water that comes out of the bathroom tap, is
Speaker 4: it the same as the water that comes out of
Speaker 4: the kitchen tank?
Speaker 1: Yeah, because when i'm.
Speaker 3: The difference is like there's a hot water pipe and
Speaker 3: a cold water pipe and they are the same pipe, and.
Speaker 2: Then they're splitting on and they split off.
Speaker 4: But maybe there's a filter in the kitchen tap as
Speaker 4: opposed to the bathroom tap.
Speaker 2: And now why would they do that?
Speaker 4: I can't fill up my water bottle in the toilet tap?
Speaker 4: Not why because it's got pooh water in it. Okay,
Speaker 4: the system, and that's fair the system to do it either,
Speaker 4: he's a little too close to the washing basket.
Speaker 2: Listen, I'm not even making sense.
Speaker 4: All I want to say is, is kitchen tap the
Speaker 4: same as bathroom tap? And his bathroom tap the same
Speaker 4: as laundry tap is the same as shower tap. I
Speaker 4: guess you know it's not looking good.
Speaker 2: Brother.
Speaker 3: There's already too much to be afraid of. You know
Speaker 3: you're saying, don't brush your teeth in the shower. You
Speaker 3: can get lesionaires. Stop going to restaurants.
Speaker 2: You know what. I had a restaurant the other day.
Speaker 2: Tell me why there was a girl behind the.
Speaker 5: Kills she.
Speaker 6: Went.
Speaker 2: She didn't even look ashamed.
Speaker 6: She did she do this?
Speaker 2: I don't care what she did.
Speaker 3: The noise itself was enough to propel any disease anywhere.
Speaker 3: She put it back into its Literally, I said, at
Speaker 3: least pretend to be ashamed.
Speaker 2: There was no mad dash for the hands, but nothing.
Speaker 2: So you know, the real.
Speaker 4: Dangers are outside of your home. What is a legionnaire's disease?
Speaker 4: Because you got the lesionnaire's cap.
Speaker 3: I think it's lesionaires is like lesions or is legionaires
Speaker 3: g or s.
Speaker 2: I don't know if this woman can be like Legion
Speaker 2: or Lesion Lision.
Speaker 4: All I'm gonna say is I'm still gonna brush my
Speaker 4: teeth in the shower, and maybe I'm gonna get some
Speaker 4: sort of disease. But what is life if not living
Speaker 4: life on the edge?
Speaker 2: Hunh.
Speaker 3: Literally, something's gonna take you out. If not that, what
Speaker 3: is bacteria?
Speaker 2: Do you know what? This isn't even a hill.
Speaker 3: I'm a dion Because to be fair, if anyone was
Speaker 3: gonna start brushing their teeth in the sink, it would
Speaker 3: be me.
Speaker 2: I've got two sinks. I can afford to.
Speaker 3: Do that, you know, but I won't because in the
Speaker 3: shower is what the height.
Speaker 4: Of luxury above. You got to see my taps at home.
Speaker 4: I've moved into a new place. They're the taps that
Speaker 4: have two different Yeah. Oh broh, Yeah, we're living in
Speaker 4: the past.
Speaker 2: The water. You know what I'm saying. I turned the
Speaker 2: tap on.
Speaker 4: The literally I have to go, and then if I go,
Speaker 4: if I got a little bit too much, it's too much,
Speaker 4: it's bang.
Speaker 2: And that's what you get.
Speaker 3: Wanting to live in houses with character dead that dead
Speaker 3: that you need one of those carbon copy from the plant,
Speaker 3: the same marble. Every house is a duplicate. Don't take
Speaker 3: any chances. It's not saying across. It's too much anyway.
Speaker 3: And off of that, how many more days will we
Speaker 3: be talking about toothbrushing?
Speaker 2: Are we done?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I'm done. I think I'm done too. I've done it
Speaker 2: and it's no shade.
Speaker 3: I understand. Once we have the conversation. You want to
Speaker 3: have the conversation, but it's done. It's dead unless the
Speaker 3: story is fresh. Leave it personally. If I can make
Speaker 3: a request, I want to hear from people who share
Speaker 3: toothbrushes but their significant other.
Speaker 2: Bring me that. Oh, I've already done that. If you
Speaker 2: know I want it. I want people to come in.
Speaker 3: If you share a toothbrush, Willy nearly casually with Glee,
Speaker 3: with your partner, best friend, family, mother, talk to me.
Speaker 2: I want to know.
Speaker 1: This is flex and Frooms on CADA today.
Speaker 3: I'm flex and frooms. We're going to figure out how
Speaker 3: not to take things personally.
Speaker 2: I need this.
Speaker 3: I feel like everything is personal, and when I pretend
Speaker 3: they're not, I'm doing myself a disservice. Okay, all things
Speaker 3: good or bad, like you know, how some people don't
Speaker 3: take compliments. They feel like people are being facetious, they're
Speaker 3: just trying to fill gaps in conversation. I take them
Speaker 3: really personally. You must be right, of course, I look amazing.
Speaker 3: Why would you like?
Speaker 2: Right? Pretty princess? Pretty princess?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 3: Or on the adverse, if someone is giving me feedback
Speaker 3: or critique, who.
Speaker 2: Am I to not be like?
Speaker 3: Okay, they know they're hitting a spot anyway, we might
Speaker 3: work on it, we might not.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Interdependentness into connectedness.
Speaker 2: I'm not sure you're alone on that one. Hunt. I'm
Speaker 2: not sure anyway. Listen to this video. You know what
Speaker 2: I do.
Speaker 6: When I I'm teaching myself to not take things personally.
Speaker 6: Every time someone does something annoying, I just think it's
Speaker 6: because they're dumb or lazy, or a combination of both.
Speaker 6: Every Time someone asks me to do something I don't
Speaker 6: want to do, I just say I'm sorry, I'm not
Speaker 6: smart enough to do this. Sorry, I'm just lazy. I
Speaker 6: don't want to do it because in those states, nothing
Speaker 6: can really compel someone, and that is just what life is.
Speaker 6: You know, you get older and you realize that you
Speaker 6: can't really control anyone you can only influence them, and
Speaker 6: the extent to wish you cannot. Can't influence someone just
Speaker 6: isn't up to you at a certain point, either they
Speaker 6: going to do it or they're not. Stop wasting your
Speaker 6: energy and focus on the things that you actually like
Speaker 6: that are going well, that you want to go well,
Speaker 6: that don't involve you needing to wait for another person
Speaker 6: to do something to give yourself permission to do what
Speaker 6: you want to do. They're either dumb or they're lazy,
Speaker 6: or a combination of both. You are dumb and lazy
Speaker 6: in your own way too, and the ways that you
Speaker 6: guys are dumb and lazy.
Speaker 2: It's just not compatible. And that's okay.
Speaker 3: That is my friend Amber a killer and from Australian,
Speaker 3: because you know what, I like that my friends are thinkers,
Speaker 3: because I don't necessarily agree. I don't whole hardly disagree either.
Speaker 3: I think she's making a really good point and I
Speaker 3: like that the language she's using is the great equalizer,
Speaker 3: just saying if you're dumb, you're lazy. It's boring and
Speaker 3: have the capacity. It's like the apathy of it all
Speaker 3: makes it all so much simpler to uncover. Question number one,
Speaker 3: how do not.
Speaker 2: How to talk.
Speaker 3: I'm struggling, hungry, how do not take things personally? Look,
Speaker 3: I see where Amber's coming from in the sense that
Speaker 3: if you view everyone and yourself as dumb and lazy,
Speaker 3: then you kind of diffuse the way something hits. So
Speaker 3: if somebody is being rude to you, well, they're dumb
Speaker 3: for not treating you.
Speaker 2: Well. What I do think is that.
Speaker 3: With Amber in particular, she walks through the world with
Speaker 3: very high level of self awareness. She is an everyday
Speaker 3: philosopher and every day thinker. That's what she does, and
Speaker 3: she does well, So I think she's able to in practice,
Speaker 3: have a lot of nuance with that.
Speaker 2: For the average person, I don't think it's gonna hit.
Speaker 3: It's like when you say, like everybody is special, and
Speaker 3: people run with that.
Speaker 2: Let's stop doing that, Settle Petal.
Speaker 4: At the start of the video, I thought she meant
Speaker 4: she thinks everyone else is.
Speaker 2: Dumb and lazy. Well, that's what she's like.
Speaker 3: Everybody you them, were all dumb and lazy. And so
Speaker 3: the way you stop her personalizing thing, because usually what
Speaker 3: happens when you take things personal, you're pedestalizing that person's
Speaker 3: point of view over what you think or in some
Speaker 3: ways you're saying that what they think in this moment,
Speaker 3: what they're saying is of more value and must be true.
Speaker 3: Therefore I have to sit with it. I have to
Speaker 3: hold it as my own. So if you neutralize everyone,
Speaker 3: and you say all the opinions are dumb, everybody's lazy,
Speaker 3: where all idiots, then it doesn't really matter where it's
Speaker 3: coming from, and what you choose to do with it
Speaker 3: is an active choice.
Speaker 2: You're in clown town. You're in clowntown, babe. I think
Speaker 2: I get it.
Speaker 4: I mean, but yeah, weret's a spice of life if
Speaker 4: you neutralize everything, like maybe I can take on other
Speaker 4: people's bad opinions of me, because then there's good ones
Speaker 4: like for example, we just got an email really quick,
Speaker 4: yeah not really quick, take your time, lavish in these words.
Speaker 4: It has been sent on by my manager. Oh my god,
Speaker 4: oh my god.
Speaker 2: Look how long this email is? FLEXI whoa? This is
Speaker 2: all praising WHOA. That's like eighth whoa like ten paragraphs.
Speaker 4: Okay, holy shit, let's just do the one that's about us. Firstly,
Speaker 4: thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2: I'm a long.
Speaker 4: Haul listener of flex and froomesh and have listened to
Speaker 4: every EP at least once, most twice, first half of
Speaker 4: them at least thrice.
Speaker 2: WHOA, what's going on? Sex?
Speaker 4: I moved to a new city five months ago, and
Speaker 4: I've been working and studying from home, finishing my master's
Speaker 4: in psychology.
Speaker 2: Do you mind?
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry, don't play on talk pouring out?
Speaker 2: It was an accident.
Speaker 4: It was already open, pouring out our heart and soul
Speaker 4: working home my masters in psychology, meaning that I was
Speaker 4: stuck at home studying most of the time. And I've
Speaker 4: been here so far. Your podcast keep me going and
Speaker 4: gave the company laughs and resonating ideas I've needed on
Speaker 4: more days than I can tell you. And then she said, Oh,
Speaker 4: I think this whole. I think this needs Oh my god,
Speaker 4: this is like an art clap back to one of
Speaker 4: the other listeners. Ooh about the member of the psychologist
Speaker 4: that wrote in saying about the w Well, Yes, let's
Speaker 4: do a zoom back to that Brook. I listened to
Speaker 4: Yours and Flexes episode from yesterday where you spoke about therapy.
Speaker 4: I'm a provisional psychologist, but also someone who's been in
Speaker 4: therapy for ten years. Classic psychologists vibes, so I have
Speaker 4: a fair bit of experience on both sides of LACOINNE.
Speaker 4: My hot take is that you don't need to go
Speaker 4: to therapy if you don't have goals or are a
Speaker 4: bit stagnant, you need a life coach or something like that.
Speaker 4: In UNI, I remember learning that the majority of our
Speaker 4: clients are what is referred to as the worried Well, Okay,
Speaker 4: nothing wrong with you, but you think you need to
Speaker 4: be in therapy. Therapy is for people with mental health
Speaker 4: issues in brackets anxiety, depression, personality disorders, phobias, etc.
Speaker 2: Etc.
Speaker 4: And it's to use a therapeutic tool to work through that.
Speaker 4: The worried well, just take up resources that are actually
Speaker 4: for people struggling.
Speaker 2: Okay, now we're booming out. Thanksbook for doing that.
Speaker 4: Secondly, your approach to mental health is awesome. And also
Speaker 4: she's bolded awesome, so effing cool. For legal reasons, I'm
Speaker 4: not writing as a provisional psychoic just about to be registered.
Speaker 4: But the listener who recently wrote in as a provincial
Speaker 4: the provisional psychologists biting each other. The listener who recently
Speaker 4: wrote in as a provisional psych who had done ten
Speaker 4: years of therapy shook me to my core. I have
Speaker 4: also been on both sides of the psychology seat like
Speaker 4: that listener, and their messaging disturbed me deeply. Frankly, it
Speaker 4: pissed me off back into the bolds. Your response was
Speaker 4: spot on. I know you probably know this, but I
Speaker 4: would never want to condescend. But I just want to
Speaker 4: balance out that voice and show my support for your perspective. Yes,
Speaker 4: people who are really seriously mentally ill need psychologists, but
Speaker 4: normalizing seeking psychological help is the first step that reduces
Speaker 4: the amount of people who would become seriously mentally ill.
Speaker 4: What's it called when you prevention over cure? Psychology masters
Speaker 4: are really competitive to get into. We need to find
Speaker 4: more positions in those masters programs, which is only made
Speaker 4: more likely by increasing the number of people who access
Speaker 4: and value psychology services. When it comes to Oussie seeking
Speaker 4: mental health care, again, bold more is more. We all
Speaker 4: know too many young men firsthand or by degree of separation,
Speaker 4: who are very privileged and functional from the outside perspective,
Speaker 4: and yet they self harm. This worried world concept makes
Speaker 4: me sick and contributes to those terrifying statistics around the
Speaker 4: yeat of young men. That's just one example, but the
Speaker 4: premise applies to everyone, as you said yourself, eating Oh
Speaker 4: my god, we're hitting every every category here. Eating disorders
Speaker 4: do have the highest fatality of any into illness. Stand
Speaker 4: up queens, and then finally, fuck the worried well. Everyone
Speaker 4: seeking help deserves to receive it. I even know too
Speaker 4: many people personally who have had textbook objectively awful traumatic
Speaker 4: experiences who think they don't deserve psychological treatment because of
Speaker 4: stigmatizing awful beliefs. Out of the amounts of people like
Speaker 4: that one listener, we were honestly, this is like that.
Speaker 4: She has put into words the words that I could
Speaker 4: not find. But you did put it into words. You
Speaker 4: articulated yourself. Thanks An, Well you did.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Anyway, she makes a lot of good points. I love
Speaker 4: her the most beautiful praise. Just imagine someone's sitting down
Speaker 4: at the.
Speaker 3: Laptop so intentional, right, taking out the time.
Speaker 4: Tippity tapping out, and it just goes on. But I
Speaker 4: will literally, yeah, anyway.
Speaker 2: Back to it. No, that's it.
Speaker 4: Anyway, it's that podcast. I won't say your name, but
Speaker 4: you know who you are. Yeah, I hope she listens
Speaker 4: back to this allyst three times.
Speaker 3: Well, I think you should send the link back, or
Speaker 3: just at least respond and be like, hey, obsessed, we
Speaker 3: talked about it today, Okay, I.
Speaker 2: Will I love that. Wow, that's really made my day.
Speaker 2: Love a bit of fis as well.
Speaker 1: You're listening to Flex and Frooms on Kada.
Speaker 4: You are with Flex and Frooms on this sunny Thursday
Speaker 4: afternoon in Sydney and surrounds and elsewhere wherever.
Speaker 3: You're listening while we are spending our time dipping into
Speaker 3: our personal experiences and yours to ensure that everybody leaves
Speaker 3: this planet experiencing the most fruitful of romantic love. I
Speaker 3: came across a little video of someone shooting their shot
Speaker 3: in a way that I would almost describe as a
Speaker 3: vintage and.
Speaker 2: I thought, are we back here? Is this what we
Speaker 2: need to be doing? Maybe? Maybe not? Let me know
Speaker 2: after you listen to this video. Police. Hello everyone, my
Speaker 2: name is Ellie. I'm honest to Common Program, and I
Speaker 2: see you, and tonight is my last shift.
Speaker 6: And I see you.
Speaker 2: And I'm going to give a doctor that i've been
Speaker 2: flooding me a note with my number on it.
Speaker 4: Here is the note, and I'm going to do it
Speaker 4: all in one TikTok from me tonight giving the.
Speaker 2: Notes and afterwards, so stay tuned. Here's the note.
Speaker 4: The note says, I'm never going to see you again,
Speaker 4: so shooting my shot? Coffee sometimes question Mike, message me
Speaker 4: yuse if you have a partner, Sorry to throw this.
Speaker 3: Out long now there is approximately another thirty second set video.
Speaker 2: We don't need it.
Speaker 3: We don't need it. We got all we need from
Speaker 3: that right now. I have a question. Would you do that?
Speaker 3: Write a letter to someone to shoot your shot?
Speaker 2: A letter? A note? Relax, write a note?
Speaker 3: Or would you be responsive to someone writing you a
Speaker 3: note to.
Speaker 2: Shoot their shot? This has happened to me before. Oh
Speaker 2: in a gym, Oh I just go everywhere? I was
Speaker 2: on the floor. Can I just launch on?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 2: Launche?
Speaker 4: I was on the floor doing some like doing floor
Speaker 4: exercises in the gym, I know, in front of a mirror.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I could ever.
Speaker 4: And I like, how the how did I get the note?
Speaker 4: I like looked to my side and there was a
Speaker 4: little note with.
Speaker 2: A heart like fold and I started unfolding it. I
Speaker 2: was like, oh my god, what is this? What is it?
Speaker 4: Watching me scrunch it up again and like ran out
Speaker 4: the door, like there was a little balcony in the gym, so.
Speaker 2: I ran out of the door, closed.
Speaker 4: The door and opened it up, and it was like,
Speaker 4: you just have a really cool look. I'd love to
Speaker 4: take you out one day. Here's my number, here's my name.
Speaker 3: Not even leaving the socials, because the name and number
Speaker 3: thing is what gets me.
Speaker 2: A raw name and number you ate a social well
Speaker 2: it goes further.
Speaker 4: I got to go back into the gym and I've
Speaker 4: locked myself out on the balcony with this, with this note,
Speaker 4: no phone. I had my phone. Thanks, it was live
Speaker 4: stream the whole thing. Of course, this was like five
Speaker 4: years ago. And I looked up and found his name,
Speaker 4: like you know when you can google the phone number.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, found the name on Facebook. What's his profile picture?
Speaker 4: You it's him at the races with speed dealers on
Speaker 4: drinking a Bundy and coke through a wire fence.
Speaker 2: And yet he thought that you were the one. So
Speaker 2: what are you giving us?
Speaker 4: And I was slaying at the time. I must admit,
Speaker 4: shaved head, you've been slaying, so that's not new. That's
Speaker 4: not new. So I was giving. But that was like
Speaker 4: a very flattering and be very terrifying safe to say
Speaker 4: I left the gym sometime after that canceled the membership.
Speaker 4: It was such a car and I was like, maybe
Speaker 4: I'm going to say I was harassed so I can
Speaker 4: get money back.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's pretty full on again. I feel like
Speaker 2: in my head, I'd be like, this is a funny
Speaker 2: thing to do. Let's do it. Let's send a note,
Speaker 2: leave an apt or whatever.
Speaker 3: But then on the recipient, if there's like a lot
Speaker 3: of pressure, it's like, damn, I gotta respond asap, show
Speaker 3: you know, mutual first. In the same way, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I feel like i'd like it's more of a yes,
Speaker 3: no no. For me, it's more of a yes, no,
Speaker 3: no no. I think we need to incorporate it. I
Speaker 3: don't think we should. It should be the primary method,
Speaker 3: but definitely if you know it to yes, it's definitely
Speaker 3: a yes, we do have to go. But I can
Speaker 3: say that he did respond, should I share that information now?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 3: Wanted to get your consent first, so he said, hey, Ellie,
Speaker 3: so and so here, super sweet, no, and such a
Speaker 3: nice gesture. I really enjoyed working with you and the banter.
Speaker 3: We need to talk about banter. To talk about it,
Speaker 3: I do have a partner, but thought you deserved a response.
Speaker 3: Hope tonight isn't too shit with You're all the best. Now,
Speaker 3: I will say that she said that this is someone
Speaker 3: she's been flirting with, and that's what gave her the
Speaker 3: impression that she should in fact shoot the shot.
Speaker 2: So do with that what you will. Shout out to Ellie.
Speaker 3: I love when people share their business on the internet
Speaker 3: for our entertainment. You're amazing. Keep shooting a shot in
Speaker 3: this way. You're bold and I love it.
Speaker 4: Also, I think people missing story floating.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I flat with everyone exactly, So yeah, I
Speaker 3: get I think we are the problem though.
Speaker 4: For sure, flex and frooms FLEXI. We always come to
Speaker 4: the table with some sort of dilemma. This one is
Speaker 4: from a woman called redacted. Yeah, we're not saying it's
Speaker 4: just a highly anonymous situation. She said it to me
Speaker 4: and then I said, can you please send it in
Speaker 4: a voice note. She said, oh my god, cry cry face. Okay,
Speaker 4: I will do now Ooh that.
Speaker 5: My am I the asshole. So my boyfriend who's twenty three,
Speaker 5: and myself who's twenty have very different relationships with parents.
Speaker 4: I've always also, can I just say slang on the
Speaker 4: gen Z audience obsessed one of ours, one of ours.
Speaker 5: Always been encouraged to independently think and girl lost my
Speaker 5: way through life, whereas he's always been sort of fed
Speaker 5: a cheeky silver spoon and always listen to the direction
Speaker 5: of parents. So we're just having a bit of trouble
Speaker 5: because I am I the arsehole for not knowing how
Speaker 5: to support him, because I'm always being like, just get
Speaker 5: it together, like why are you not rationalizing? Like who
Speaker 5: cares if you upset them? But he obviously has no
Speaker 5: idea how to sort of be like that. So yeah,
Speaker 5: so to preface, like we both live at home, so obviously,
Speaker 5: like you know, you have to live within your parents'
Speaker 5: boundaries and everything, but even myself, like I always push
Speaker 5: my boundaries at home because I think that without being
Speaker 5: allowed to do that, Like how are you supposed to
Speaker 5: independently and freely think? But he obviously doesn't have that,
Speaker 5: So it's, yeah, it's a bit hard because am I
Speaker 5: the asshole? Because I can't you support him or tell
Speaker 5: him how to do it properly, like you know, figure
Speaker 5: out everything.
Speaker 3: So yeah, sisus twenty a man yep bo thinking you know,
Speaker 3: that's a big one, because you know, while that voice
Speaker 3: memo was playing through me, gestured to herself as in
Speaker 3: being someone who resonates with the guy in the situation.
Speaker 3: And I'm definitely the girl in the situation. Not that
Speaker 3: my parents weren't necessarily like that or my mum, but
Speaker 3: I felt really strongly about challenging boundaries and being my
Speaker 3: own person and understanding the logic behind decisions that were
Speaker 3: made on behalf of me or behalf of the family
Speaker 3: or whatever.
Speaker 2: And it's a pretty.
Speaker 3: Difficult place to be in if you choose it later on, right,
Speaker 3: So my whole energy is being a challenger. And I
Speaker 3: definitely wasn't this like abrasive, as like a little person,
Speaker 3: but enough that I was like, but.
Speaker 2: Bine, but whine, and I want to do it this,
Speaker 2: but I want to do it that. Whatever.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So you kind of you created a dynamic where
Speaker 3: your parents get used to you challenging, and they can
Speaker 3: choose to kind of like la la l l la
Speaker 3: la la la zone you out or create a dynamic
Speaker 3: where you're now collaborating or whatever. At twenty three, though,
Speaker 3: I feel like it's a very difficult place to start
Speaker 3: if you don't have plans to leave your family home.
Speaker 3: It's a family home because I moved up when I
Speaker 3: was like nineteen twenty. It's very easy to be like, okay,
Speaker 3: I'm doing big girl now and then just kind of
Speaker 3: do it behind your parents back, and then you'd be like,
Speaker 3: I'm back, got.
Speaker 2: Some new tattoos? How are you? Yeah? Nice.
Speaker 3: It's very tricky and also in this position having to
Speaker 3: be the person who's like, I'm going to help him
Speaker 3: do the stuff.
Speaker 2: It's too much.
Speaker 4: I will admit, Oh, I say, yes, this silver spoon bit.
Speaker 4: I'm a born and braised rat. Yes, oh sorry, brat,
Speaker 4: but that was why I'm a rat.
Speaker 2: You met what you said. The rats don't run the city.
Speaker 2: We do.
Speaker 4: But I yeah, I relate in a sense of not
Speaker 4: thinking for myself because I agree with my parents all
Speaker 4: the time and I still do them. I agree with
Speaker 4: my mum a lot, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 4: we've got the same sense of a lot of stuff.
Speaker 4: But yeah, I haven't been in a situation where I
Speaker 4: completely disagree with my parents in a way that they're
Speaker 4: gonna like discipline me for not agreeing. Like, for example,
Speaker 4: I disagree with my dad all the time, but I
Speaker 4: think he sent me knows that he's not that he
Speaker 4: knows he's wrong.
Speaker 3: But you've had enough instances where you get you agree
Speaker 3: on most things. This is just like a judgment call.
Speaker 3: Let's just like let bygones be got by gone type thing.
Speaker 2: No, I can get mad.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, I've got different ideas about certain things, you
Speaker 4: know what I mean. Like he's he's an older gentleman. Yes,
Speaker 4: he's living in the past, which slay I would too,
Speaker 4: But yeah, it wouldn't be an issue when he said
Speaker 4: something I don't like, I say, can you shut the three?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 4: Like for example, yeah I disagree with my dad, I'll
Speaker 4: say something. I'm not gonna risk him like kick him
Speaker 4: out because I don't live there.
Speaker 3: Yes, But in this instance, you have this guy who
Speaker 3: similar to you, like gets along with his parents, and
Speaker 3: when he doesn't or when his girlfriend is like illuminating
Speaker 3: something and be like, hey, that's not really on, he's
Speaker 3: kind of.
Speaker 4: Like, oh, well, like yeah you additionally, yeah, but I
Speaker 4: think she's right in you know, maybe he's maybe his
Speaker 4: parents don't listen to him more like don't treat him
Speaker 4: like an adult, in which case I think even if
Speaker 4: you live with the parents, they should try and treat
Speaker 4: you like an adult. If you're over the age of fifteen, yeah,
Speaker 4: you know, or eighteen.
Speaker 3: If we weren't in a rental crisis, I said move out. However,
Speaker 3: in this instance, I have learned over my time of
Speaker 3: dating people whose family dynamics that I found were contradictory
Speaker 3: to mine, is that you just can't tell people who
Speaker 3: they are, what they feel, what they're experiencing, and you
Speaker 3: are on the outskirts of this established dynamic. What you
Speaker 3: say does not matter in the grand scheme of things,
Speaker 3: and you risk the harmony of your primary relationship with
Speaker 3: your partner by dabbling in some businesses unfortunately not yours.
Speaker 3: So while you have thoughts and opinions and impressions, you
Speaker 3: put this burden on your partner who clearly does not
Speaker 3: have the power or the permit to make any changes
Speaker 3: in his household dynamic.
Speaker 2: It's almost like amplifying the issue.
Speaker 3: So I feel like, if you really care, spend more
Speaker 3: time understanding it from his perspective, as opposed to wanting
Speaker 3: him to challenge his whole family structure for your benefit
Speaker 3: and just stay.
Speaker 4: At your parents' house. Yeah, don't go over there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, make some excuses.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but love.
Speaker 2: You, Queen, thanks so much. I love this.
Speaker 4: I'm going to say, given that Wa're twenty four, we
Speaker 4: are aging a little bit out of the gen Z
Speaker 4: little mindset, but happy to be with our people there,
Speaker 4: our young twenty year old queeness.
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