WEBVTT - Rear in your view of 2022!

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<v Speaker 1>Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout

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<v Speaker 1>Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We

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<v Speaker 1>pay our respect to their elders past and present and

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<v Speaker 1>extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait islander

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<v Speaker 1>peoples today.

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<v Speaker 2>This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi guys, and welcome back to a very freaking special

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<v Speaker 2>episode of Life Uncut.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm Laura, I'm Brittany.

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<v Speaker 2>We did say that last week was the last episode,

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<v Speaker 2>but we told you we'd have some special little morsels

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<v Speaker 2>lined up for you, and well this is one of them.

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<v Speaker 3>This is officially we're not putting out anything else.

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<v Speaker 1>I know we always say we're not doing anything else

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<v Speaker 1>than something else kind, but maybe we will.

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<v Speaker 4>No, we're not holiday.

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<v Speaker 1>This is officially the last episode of twenty twenty two.

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<v Speaker 1>We did want to end it on a bit of

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<v Speaker 1>a high and a little bit of a walk down

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<v Speaker 1>memory lane to some of our favorite moments, guests and.

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<v Speaker 4>Episodes of twenty twenty two.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you know what I had to listen to the

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<v Speaker 2>one of these that we did in twenty twenty one,

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<v Speaker 2>and we started off by saying twenty twenty one was

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<v Speaker 2>a dumpster fire of a year.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you remember? That's because we were stuck in COVID.

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<v Speaker 3>It was a dumpster fire.

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<v Speaker 2>It was a bit of a fucking shit show. But

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<v Speaker 2>twenty twenty two was a mighty good year.

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<v Speaker 4>It was such a wonderful year.

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<v Speaker 3>And I look, we did live shot for a bit

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<v Speaker 3>of Lannina whatever it's.

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<v Speaker 4>Called lan Nina La Nina.

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<v Speaker 3>That thing stuck around for a bit too long, didn't it.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, everything has its ups and downs. But when

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<v Speaker 1>I look back, I just think we just had such

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<v Speaker 1>a wonderful year together, you and I, with the audience,

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<v Speaker 1>with you guys, the listeners, We did our live show.

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<v Speaker 1>Who would have thought we'd still be sitting in your

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<v Speaker 1>bedroom recording this, and.

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<v Speaker 4>You think we'd get a studio on office by now.

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<v Speaker 3>So we think it's never changed in the bedroom.

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<v Speaker 5>You know why.

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<v Speaker 4>It's because we're creatures of comfort.

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<v Speaker 3>Change is scary.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, well, okay, this is how much we are

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<v Speaker 2>creatures of comfort. We have to every time we record,

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<v Speaker 2>we sit at the same sides of the desk, we

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<v Speaker 2>sit in the dark.

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<v Speaker 3>Everything's the same.

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<v Speaker 1>But I'm gonna say it now because I'm gonna hold

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<v Speaker 1>ourselves accountable for it now. I think we're gonna get

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<v Speaker 1>maybe a studio next show or somewhere to record.

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<v Speaker 3>Nah, this is good.

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<v Speaker 2>I could be in my underwork and naturally my own space,

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<v Speaker 2>which is your space. But you know what my highlight

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<v Speaker 2>of this year, there's been a lot. We're gonna hand

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<v Speaker 2>this episode over to produce Akisha soon and she's going

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<v Speaker 2>to walk you through what are some of our favorite episodes.

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<v Speaker 2>But one of the things that I feel really really

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<v Speaker 2>freaking proud of, and something that so many of you

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<v Speaker 2>still tag us in of like daily, is we Love

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<v Speaker 2>Love the Book. I just honestly can't believe. I went

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<v Speaker 2>into came up the other day in the midst of

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<v Speaker 2>boxing day sales, and.

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<v Speaker 3>There it was.

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<v Speaker 2>I saw our little book right there on the bookshelf.

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<v Speaker 2>Wasn't on sale, unfortunately, but it was there. And I

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<v Speaker 2>still can't believe that, after all the work and all

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<v Speaker 2>the energy that went into that, that.

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<v Speaker 3>This little podcast has its own book out there.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>So looking back for me, I mean, I love so

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<v Speaker 1>many episodes, but my two highlights, okay, I have three highlights.

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<v Speaker 1>One was the live show amazing. It was just amazing.

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<v Speaker 1>You guys were just incredible. The energy was incredible, Laura

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<v Speaker 1>and I love sharing that part with you too. The

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<v Speaker 1>book again exactly the same thing for the reasons we

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<v Speaker 1>just said, it's something that we feel really proud of

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<v Speaker 1>and we just love. And three, which isn't podcasts related,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's you know, it's in that realm, but it's

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<v Speaker 1>your wedding to Mandy j Obviously my sister's wedding too,

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<v Speaker 1>but seeing you and many j Ti than not. And

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<v Speaker 1>you know, you guys are the Life un Cut family too.

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<v Speaker 1>Mad Aj is a part of this.

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<v Speaker 3>Life on Cut. Well, I didn't realize we were doing

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<v Speaker 3>like life highlights.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like the book. Yeah, of course my wedding was

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<v Speaker 2>also a life highlight. I'll throw that one out there

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<v Speaker 2>as well. In terms of podcast episodes, I mean, this

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<v Speaker 2>year has been truly amazing in terms of who we've

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<v Speaker 2>gotten to speak to. And it's not just been the

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<v Speaker 2>celebrity esque interviews that we've done. For me, the ones

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<v Speaker 2>that stand out the most are the interviews of people

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<v Speaker 2>who are very ordinary people who have extraordinary stories. What

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<v Speaker 2>was your favorite interview of twenty twenty two.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, it's funny you say that because one of the

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<v Speaker 1>ones I wanted to start with, and it's so hard

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<v Speaker 1>to pick any Every single interview we do, we walk

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<v Speaker 1>away and we're like, that was the best one I've

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<v Speaker 1>ever done.

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<v Speaker 4>That was amazing.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I mean, not all of them, well most of them,

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<v Speaker 1>well for me, most of them blow me away for

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<v Speaker 1>different reasons. But the first one that jumped out at

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<v Speaker 1>me that I just was in awe of and hooked

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<v Speaker 1>on was Jess Buchanan, who was kidnapped in Somalia when

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<v Speaker 1>she was working there as a humanitarian worker. She was

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<v Speaker 1>kidnapped for three months, and her story and the way

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<v Speaker 1>she tells the story, her resolve, I really was on

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<v Speaker 1>the edge of my seat.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, my favorite one is going back to February, and

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<v Speaker 2>it's one that has stuck with me. A conversation that

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<v Speaker 2>I love so much. Not did I just love the conversation,

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<v Speaker 2>but I also loved that Eldi brought her baby into

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<v Speaker 2>the studio with us. Hey pull Eliti Pullen, and I

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<v Speaker 2>got to hold her little baby whilst we did the interview.

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<v Speaker 2>Now it is from February. It's called Grief is Love

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<v Speaker 2>with Nowhere to Go uncut with Eliti Pullen, A lot

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<v Speaker 2>of you may know Eldi's story. She was the girlfriend

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<v Speaker 2>of Chumpy Chumpy Pullen who passed away, and Elidi has

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<v Speaker 2>an incredible story around her own motherhood journey, how they

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<v Speaker 2>went through sperm retrieval to get sperm from after he'd

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<v Speaker 2>passed away, and how she has brought her little baby

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<v Speaker 2>into the world without her partner by her side. She

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<v Speaker 2>speaks about being a widow, but she also speaks about

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<v Speaker 2>motherhood in a way that I don't think I've heard

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<v Speaker 2>anybody else speak about it, and it's a story that

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<v Speaker 2>truly just stuck with me so much. We are going

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<v Speaker 2>to hand this episode over to produce Akisha in a second,

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<v Speaker 2>but we wanted to say the biggest thank you to

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<v Speaker 2>every single one of you who have joined us for

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<v Speaker 2>the last year, who are like well and truly on

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<v Speaker 2>the life Uncut ride. We have some incredible things planned

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<v Speaker 2>for you next year. There are more live shows, there

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<v Speaker 2>are some other very fun, little secret squirrel things that

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<v Speaker 2>are in the works.

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<v Speaker 3>At the moment, we're really looking.

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<v Speaker 4>Forward to it.

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<v Speaker 1>We're really really looking forward to going away having a

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<v Speaker 1>little break and twenty twenty three is going to be

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<v Speaker 1>absolutely wild and I'm really looking.

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<v Speaker 3>Forward to it. Well, that's it from us.

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<v Speaker 2>Keisha is going to take you for a little walk

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<v Speaker 2>down memory lane. Also, Keich, thanks for being just such

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<v Speaker 2>a rockstar part of the Life Uncut team.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, there is so much work that goes on behind

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<v Speaker 1>the scenes in Life Uncut that Keisha producer. Keisha is

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<v Speaker 1>so so deep in that. Sometimes she's up to her neck.

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<v Speaker 2>Sometimes she's like, get me out, I don't want to

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<v Speaker 2>be here anymore, but here she is, and we love

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<v Speaker 2>her for it.

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<v Speaker 1>And Maddie Jay, there's my sister Sherry. We have a

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<v Speaker 1>wonderful girl, Taylor that works for us as well. There

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<v Speaker 1>is a very small but it's a very mighty team

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<v Speaker 1>that works for Life un Cut and we're such a

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<v Speaker 1>cute little family. And Keisha, thank you for everything that

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<v Speaker 1>you have done in this past year.

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<v Speaker 7>Thanks guys, I can't wait to go through last year.

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<v Speaker 7>We called it the rear in your View because one

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<v Speaker 7>time when we were saying year in review.

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<v Speaker 4>We couldn't get it out.

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<v Speaker 7>I can't remember who fucked it up, but one of

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<v Speaker 7>us fucked it up and said rear in your.

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<v Speaker 3>It was Britt. It was just the episode. Do you

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<v Speaker 3>know what?

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<v Speaker 4>Maybe that should be what we call every Rearing review.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it feels fitting.

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<v Speaker 2>This is the twenty twenty three Rearing Review and that's

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<v Speaker 2>it from us.

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<v Speaker 3>Guys.

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<v Speaker 4>Hello, Hello, how are you going? If you had a

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<v Speaker 4>wonderful Christmas. I'm very excited for us to go through the.

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<v Speaker 3>Rearing Review or year in review for.

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<v Speaker 4>Twenty twenty two together.

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<v Speaker 7>These are some of the best moments of the year,

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<v Speaker 7>or some of the standout moments you think, And I'm very.

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<v Speaker 4>Grateful for all of you that wrote in with your

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<v Speaker 4>favorite moment.

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<v Speaker 7>It made it a lot easier for me to package

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<v Speaker 7>these up, for me to decide, I think that was

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<v Speaker 7>like the hard point was actually deciding.

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<v Speaker 4>Which ten we wanted to put into this.

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<v Speaker 7>But this entire episode is just some of our favorite

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<v Speaker 7>moments over the course of the year, and I'm going

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<v Speaker 7>to be walking.

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<v Speaker 4>You through them and kind of giving you a little.

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<v Speaker 7>Bit of a behind the scenes to some of them,

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<v Speaker 7>some stuff that happened like off Mike or maybe what

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<v Speaker 7>led to the interviews.

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<v Speaker 4>And for each of.

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<v Speaker 7>The episodes, if you like the little snippet that you hear,

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<v Speaker 7>but maybe you missed the whole episode, I'm going to

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<v Speaker 7>put a link to that episode in our show notes,

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<v Speaker 7>so you can find that there. Kicking it off for

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<v Speaker 7>this year is none other than Rebel Wilson. Now, I

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<v Speaker 7>think for some of us our career paths they take

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<v Speaker 7>a few different twists and turns, but maybe not as

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<v Speaker 7>big of a twist or a turn as Rebel Wilson's.

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<v Speaker 7>One of my favorite moments from this chat was finding

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<v Speaker 7>out what disease not a typho. What disease led Rebel

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<v Speaker 7>Wilson to becoming an actress.

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<v Speaker 4>And here's that chat. So I always thought I would

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<v Speaker 4>go into Laura politics.

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<v Speaker 8>I got into like the best law school after I

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<v Speaker 8>got my HC results and was like yep, and then

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<v Speaker 8>I was selected. I was a youth ambassador for Australia,

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<v Speaker 8>which was a program that Rodari was running at the time.

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<v Speaker 8>They sent one boy and one girl to different countries

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<v Speaker 8>and I got sent to South Africa and had like

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<v Speaker 8>a life changing experience going to Southern Africa for a

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<v Speaker 8>year and not knowing anybody, and it was crazy. Then

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<v Speaker 8>I got the malaria there, which was really bad. You

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<v Speaker 8>got malaria, had a vision that I was an actress.

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<v Speaker 1>Hang on, you were speeding through this story.

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<v Speaker 3>I know, well, there's home.

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<v Speaker 1>So you're in Africa yeah for a year.

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, you get malaria.

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<v Speaker 8>Yeah, it was terrible. I got a really bad strain,

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<v Speaker 8>so I was hospitalized. I caught it in rural Mozambique,

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<v Speaker 8>but it takes about two weeks to develop in your system.

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<v Speaker 8>And then I was very, very sick. Got hospitalized with

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<v Speaker 8>another girl that was on the trip as well, and then.

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<v Speaker 3>It was bad.

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<v Speaker 9>It was like this, it's hard to describe. It's not

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<v Speaker 9>like a cold or flu.

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<v Speaker 8>It's like you out of your body kind of thing

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<v Speaker 8>and you're like hallucinating and everything. And then I was like,

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<v Speaker 8>I had this vision that I won an Academy award,

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<v Speaker 8>that I was an actress, and then I was really

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<v Speaker 8>good and I came out of hospital saying, guys, I'm gonna,

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<v Speaker 8>I think, think I've got to leave Africa, like immediately

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<v Speaker 8>go back to Australia. I got an audition for the

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<v Speaker 8>Drama School. I'm gonna be like the next Dame Judy

0:09:08.120 --> 0:09:13.319
<v Speaker 8>Dench or something. So you're like rebeling, no, like you're

0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:14.640
<v Speaker 8>not an actress.

0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:16.000
<v Speaker 9>Like beause I definitely didn't.

0:09:16.240 --> 0:09:19.880
<v Speaker 8>I wasn't glamorous like I was, you know, an academic

0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:23.000
<v Speaker 8>girl like I wasn't glamois. I didn't look like Nicole

0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:24.839
<v Speaker 8>Kidman or Cate Blanchette or something.

0:09:24.960 --> 0:09:28.280
<v Speaker 2>So your catalyst for getting into acting, your catalyst that

0:09:28.360 --> 0:09:30.160
<v Speaker 2>was the driving force for you to go cool, I'm

0:09:30.200 --> 0:09:32.560
<v Speaker 2>going to take this and pivot my career seriously.

0:09:32.960 --> 0:09:33.640
<v Speaker 3>Was malaria?

0:09:33.840 --> 0:09:37.400
<v Speaker 8>Yeah wow, Because sometimes they say if you get really sick,

0:09:37.440 --> 0:09:39.160
<v Speaker 8>if you have a life changing event like that, it

0:09:39.200 --> 0:09:41.720
<v Speaker 8>can really change the course of your life. And I

0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:43.600
<v Speaker 8>used to love Oprah well.

0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:44.920
<v Speaker 3>I mean, obviously I still love Opra.

0:09:44.920 --> 0:09:46.800
<v Speaker 4>I shouldn't. I used to all the time.

0:09:46.880 --> 0:09:48.720
<v Speaker 8>And I used to watch her every day in Africa

0:09:48.760 --> 0:09:51.080
<v Speaker 8>because it was really hard. There was a lot going

0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:53.520
<v Speaker 8>on in South Africa at the time and post apartheid

0:09:53.559 --> 0:09:55.319
<v Speaker 8>and a lot of violence and everything, and there's a

0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:58.040
<v Speaker 8>lot going on, and so I would watch Oprah every day,

0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:00.880
<v Speaker 8>love it. And she'd say, oh the UNI like sometimes

0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:02.640
<v Speaker 8>it gives you a whisper and sometimes it's like a

0:10:02.679 --> 0:10:05.839
<v Speaker 8>full blown rick wall falling on you with the message.

0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:07.840
<v Speaker 8>And I was like, this is a message, like this

0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:10.120
<v Speaker 8>is like this is what I should do with my life.

0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:12.120
<v Speaker 8>So even though I was still in law school, I

0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:14.760
<v Speaker 8>went back and I auditioned for drama. Like no one

0:10:14.800 --> 0:10:16.800
<v Speaker 8>would take me at the drama schools.

0:10:17.080 --> 0:10:18.240
<v Speaker 4>Who'd you audition for nighter?

0:10:18.440 --> 0:10:19.680
<v Speaker 3>Yeah maybe that.

0:10:19.760 --> 0:10:22.400
<v Speaker 8>Firstly, only just night because I thought, well, better the child,

0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:24.800
<v Speaker 8>but yeah, just go to the best one. And because

0:10:24.840 --> 0:10:27.079
<v Speaker 8>my law school was across the road, I thought, oh

0:10:27.120 --> 0:10:27.920
<v Speaker 8>maybe I'll do both.

0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:29.160
<v Speaker 4>I am such an overachiever.

0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:31.480
<v Speaker 8>Then yeah, they didn't accept me, so I just did.

0:10:31.559 --> 0:10:32.720
<v Speaker 4>I did law and arts.

0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:37.960
<v Speaker 8>So I did theater and film subjects at my university UNSW.

0:10:38.160 --> 0:10:39.800
<v Speaker 4>And I think we all know that things ended up

0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:40.360
<v Speaker 4>pretty well.

0:10:40.679 --> 0:10:44.160
<v Speaker 7>Rebel in the acting world, she's gonen to do magnificent things.

0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:47.920
<v Speaker 7>Up next in A Year in Review is Australia's funny man,

0:10:48.000 --> 0:10:49.839
<v Speaker 7>someone that I think we are all very very proud

0:10:49.880 --> 0:10:52.040
<v Speaker 7>to call one of our own, and that is Hamish Blake.

0:10:52.600 --> 0:10:54.640
<v Speaker 7>But really hit home for me with Hamish was his

0:10:54.720 --> 0:10:57.920
<v Speaker 7>perspective on hustle culture and what gave meaning to his life.

0:10:58.040 --> 0:11:01.680
<v Speaker 7>I mean, arguably he's Australia's fun biggest person. He's Australia's

0:11:01.880 --> 0:11:05.400
<v Speaker 7>entertaining person. His podcasts always at number one in Australia.

0:11:05.520 --> 0:11:07.679
<v Speaker 7>He host TV shows, It rate really well. He even

0:11:07.720 --> 0:11:09.920
<v Speaker 7>won the Gold Logi this year, and so I think

0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:11.200
<v Speaker 7>a lot of us were kind of like, oh, you

0:11:11.200 --> 0:11:13.040
<v Speaker 7>know what's next for you, Like what's the next thing

0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:13.840
<v Speaker 7>that you want to conquer?

0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:15.800
<v Speaker 4>And here's what he had to say about that.

0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:18.040
<v Speaker 10>But even before when you were like, you know, why

0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:19.839
<v Speaker 10>would you go? You were you could earn lots of

0:11:19.840 --> 0:11:20.480
<v Speaker 10>money on radio?

0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:21.840
<v Speaker 9>Could I don't know?

0:11:21.920 --> 0:11:23.360
<v Speaker 10>My answer to that now is a forty year old

0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:24.960
<v Speaker 10>person with if I was like, I'm not gonna bely

0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:26.920
<v Speaker 10>going to do TV anymore, with people like but why not,

0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:29.880
<v Speaker 10>like then you won't be famous or you won't make money.

0:11:30.360 --> 0:11:32.520
<v Speaker 10>My answer that legitimately, I know this is a privileged

0:11:32.520 --> 0:11:35.240
<v Speaker 10>position to be in, having sort of like done it

0:11:35.280 --> 0:11:37.600
<v Speaker 10>for a long time. My answer that was like, yeah,

0:11:37.600 --> 0:11:40.480
<v Speaker 10>that's great, I will let's I look forward to seeing

0:11:40.480 --> 0:11:43.319
<v Speaker 10>how that goes. Those aren't the reasons that.

0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:44.360
<v Speaker 4>I do anything.

0:11:44.600 --> 0:11:47.840
<v Speaker 10>Yeah, they are kind of like their flow on effects

0:11:48.040 --> 0:11:51.000
<v Speaker 10>of doing this thing that I enjoy doing for now

0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:54.679
<v Speaker 10>personally for me, So twenty twenty two, you know, like

0:11:54.760 --> 0:11:56.960
<v Speaker 10>my workload is actually not that intense. Like I got

0:11:56.960 --> 0:11:58.319
<v Speaker 10>podcasting with Ando, we.

0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:00.640
<v Speaker 3>Got forty episodes of You pisodes a year.

0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:03.160
<v Speaker 10>Grueling, then the Government Mandata break. If you're familiar with

0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:03.600
<v Speaker 10>the show.

0:12:03.480 --> 0:12:05.320
<v Speaker 3>Twelve weeks I'm terrible.

0:12:05.400 --> 0:12:07.679
<v Speaker 10>Then you know, kind of legs at the end of

0:12:07.679 --> 0:12:09.800
<v Speaker 10>the year. But my as I sort of said before,

0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:12.320
<v Speaker 10>my goal is to be unbusy because the kids are little.

0:12:12.440 --> 0:12:15.120
<v Speaker 10>And again, I know how lucky I am to be

0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:16.880
<v Speaker 10>in this position, but I'm like, if I'm going to

0:12:17.080 --> 0:12:20.400
<v Speaker 10>use what we've worked for for anything, I will use

0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:23.520
<v Speaker 10>it to buy time. And I love saying no. I

0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:25.679
<v Speaker 10>spend my whole time saying no to other shows or

0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:29.040
<v Speaker 10>ideas because I want to be at home. I want

0:12:29.080 --> 0:12:31.480
<v Speaker 10>to be doing more living. I want to be doing

0:12:31.480 --> 0:12:35.360
<v Speaker 10>more enjoying life stuff, especially post you know, after two

0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:39.160
<v Speaker 10>years lockdown again, total luxury. But that's my this is

0:12:39.200 --> 0:12:40.640
<v Speaker 10>how I want to spend the time I do. I'm

0:12:40.679 --> 0:12:45.080
<v Speaker 10>not interested in leveraging as hard as we can. I'm

0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:47.000
<v Speaker 10>just I'm not really interested in the next level. I'm

0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:49.960
<v Speaker 10>not trying to rapidly like ascend.

0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:51.000
<v Speaker 3>Which I think is like such.

0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:53.199
<v Speaker 2>I mean, that's it's such a great thing to hear

0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:54.880
<v Speaker 2>in terms of like you would think that someone who's

0:12:54.880 --> 0:12:56.480
<v Speaker 2>just come off the back of winning the goal. LOGI

0:12:56.559 --> 0:12:58.920
<v Speaker 2>is like, what can I like, what's next? What's the

0:12:58.920 --> 0:12:59.480
<v Speaker 2>biggest piece?

0:13:01.200 --> 0:13:03.800
<v Speaker 10>How can I wriggle out of pretty much everything that gets.

0:13:03.640 --> 0:13:06.160
<v Speaker 2>Asked of me being in that position and winning the

0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:08.400
<v Speaker 2>goal LOGI I think a lot of people's expectations would

0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:11.240
<v Speaker 2>be like, well, what's next, and having the agency and

0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:13.760
<v Speaker 2>the ability to be like it doesn't actually have to

0:13:13.760 --> 0:13:16.200
<v Speaker 2>be a next. Yeah, I guess is that in the

0:13:16.240 --> 0:13:16.840
<v Speaker 2>same way.

0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:19.000
<v Speaker 10>I guess it comes into meaning and like I really

0:13:19.080 --> 0:13:20.719
<v Speaker 10>enjoy what I do and I love that it makes

0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:23.200
<v Speaker 10>people laugh and that people enjoy the shows, and I

0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:27.000
<v Speaker 10>do take that seriously. But to just do stuff to

0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:31.040
<v Speaker 10>be famous or to be on TV, it doesn't mean anything,

0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:32.880
<v Speaker 10>Like it doesn't mean anything to me. I don't care

0:13:32.920 --> 0:13:35.320
<v Speaker 10>about it at all. But what does mean something is

0:13:35.400 --> 0:13:40.319
<v Speaker 10>like walking to school or with your kids by yourself,

0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:45.640
<v Speaker 10>not as fine from down the roads back again, I

0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:49.040
<v Speaker 10>forgot the kids. But that's what means something to me,

0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:50.959
<v Speaker 10>Like being able to go on family holidays, Like that

0:13:51.000 --> 0:13:53.240
<v Speaker 10>means something to me. Again, I know not everyone's in

0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:55.880
<v Speaker 10>that position, but for me, that's that is one hundred

0:13:55.880 --> 0:13:57.720
<v Speaker 10>percent of the filter I'm putting it through, Like does

0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:01.640
<v Speaker 10>this have meaning? Working TV is? And is it a

0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:05.160
<v Speaker 10>really enjoyable way to have a job, But it does

0:14:05.240 --> 0:14:08.840
<v Speaker 10>not mean everything to me at all, because just other things.

0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:11.080
<v Speaker 7>Do now to take you behind the scenes a little

0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:14.760
<v Speaker 7>bit of this particular episode. We ran into him at

0:14:14.840 --> 0:14:17.439
<v Speaker 7>a coffee shop around the corner, and I'll never forget

0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:19.680
<v Speaker 7>We had such a nice chat about expectations and he

0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:21.200
<v Speaker 7>gave us some really good advice on.

0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:23.800
<v Speaker 4>How to view things like expectations.

0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:25.840
<v Speaker 7>Of the medial world and living up to what people

0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:28.360
<v Speaker 7>want from you, and that that was a really special

0:14:28.360 --> 0:14:31.040
<v Speaker 7>moment for me. Actually, we were then interrupted by someone

0:14:31.080 --> 0:14:33.280
<v Speaker 7>who ran past and asked him for a dollar, which

0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:34.880
<v Speaker 7>is a joke that you'll get if you are a

0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:37.960
<v Speaker 7>ham Shanani fan. Up next in our Year in Review

0:14:38.320 --> 0:14:40.280
<v Speaker 7>is a very special episode. This is actually the one

0:14:40.280 --> 0:14:42.440
<v Speaker 7>that Britt referred to in the intro as being one

0:14:42.440 --> 0:14:45.840
<v Speaker 7>of her standout moments from the year, and this had

0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:49.400
<v Speaker 7>me glued to the speaker, and of course talking about

0:14:49.480 --> 0:14:53.080
<v Speaker 7>Jessica Buchanan. Her story of resilience and pushing through trauma

0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:55.560
<v Speaker 7>is one that I think it's quite hard to actually

0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:59.400
<v Speaker 7>believe unless you hear it straight from her mouth. She

0:14:59.480 --> 0:15:02.200
<v Speaker 7>was kidnapped b Somali Lampards, where she spent ninety one

0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:04.320
<v Speaker 7>days fighting for her life in the desert. While the

0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:07.680
<v Speaker 7>kidnapp has tried to negotiate her ransom with the American government.

0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:10.440
<v Speaker 7>Jess was eventually rescued by the same team that killed

0:15:10.440 --> 0:15:13.480
<v Speaker 7>Asama bin Laden. And here's just telling the story of

0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:15.160
<v Speaker 7>how they initially were taken.

0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:19.520
<v Speaker 11>About fifteen minutes into the raid, somebody comes up along

0:15:19.560 --> 0:15:22.040
<v Speaker 11>the right side of us, another vehicle and cuts us

0:15:22.080 --> 0:15:24.680
<v Speaker 11>off so that we can't proceed, and splashes mud up

0:15:24.720 --> 0:15:27.600
<v Speaker 11>all over the windows in the windshield, and I'm just like,

0:15:28.680 --> 0:15:31.600
<v Speaker 11>you know, I'm used to like crazy driving and stuff

0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:33.000
<v Speaker 11>in this part of the world, but I'm like, God,

0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:36.280
<v Speaker 11>what a jerk drives like that? Come on, like, let's

0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:39.160
<v Speaker 11>get moving. And then I hear the butt, the crack

0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:40.800
<v Speaker 11>of the butt of an NK forty seven on the

0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:44.360
<v Speaker 11>car hood, and I start hearing all of this angry

0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:49.200
<v Speaker 11>screaming men screaming in Somali and some other language I

0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:53.320
<v Speaker 11>don't understand. And then my door is pulled open. Abdu

0:15:53.400 --> 0:15:56.600
<v Speaker 11>Rizak is dragged out. This van dressed in a police

0:15:56.680 --> 0:15:59.600
<v Speaker 11>uniform gets in and he has an n K forty seven.

0:15:59.640 --> 0:16:01.720
<v Speaker 11>He puts it to my head and you start screaming

0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:05.960
<v Speaker 11>at the driver to drive, and we just take off

0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:09.760
<v Speaker 11>like you know, baths out of hell, you know. We're

0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:12.520
<v Speaker 11>up on two wheels, We're down. We're up, you know,

0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:17.840
<v Speaker 11>on these these really rugged, rudimentary roads. And then we're

0:16:17.880 --> 0:16:21.120
<v Speaker 11>heading south, which does not make me feel good because

0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:24.040
<v Speaker 11>south like the further south and smaller you get the

0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:27.600
<v Speaker 11>closer you get to al Shabab Islamic extremists. I don't

0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:29.720
<v Speaker 11>know who these guys are. I don't know what they want.

0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:32.680
<v Speaker 11>I don't know where they're taking us. I'm thinking at

0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:35.920
<v Speaker 11>this point, maybe they're just carjacking us, right, like maybe here,

0:16:36.040 --> 0:16:38.840
<v Speaker 11>like take my wallet, take my passwork, here's all my rings,

0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:41.440
<v Speaker 11>like take everything, and just drop us out on the

0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:43.720
<v Speaker 11>side of the road and we'll walk back to town.

0:16:43.920 --> 0:16:46.440
<v Speaker 1>So you're still feeling optimistic at this point, you're still

0:16:46.440 --> 0:16:48.120
<v Speaker 1>feeling like, Okay, I'm just going to be robbed in.

0:16:48.160 --> 0:16:48.960
<v Speaker 4>It'll be over soon.

0:16:49.400 --> 0:16:51.920
<v Speaker 11>I mean, I'm hoping. I don't I would not say

0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:54.600
<v Speaker 11>I'm feeling optimistic. I'm like trying really hard not to

0:16:54.640 --> 0:16:57.920
<v Speaker 11>have a panic attack, because really all I can think

0:16:58.040 --> 0:17:01.640
<v Speaker 11>is like, whatever this is, it is even if they

0:17:01.640 --> 0:17:04.200
<v Speaker 11>do just drop us off and we walk back to town.

0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:06.240
<v Speaker 4>Like everything has changed from this moment on.

0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:08.840
<v Speaker 11>And then the other thought that keeps going through my

0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:11.280
<v Speaker 11>mind is just like this is bad.

0:17:11.440 --> 0:17:13.040
<v Speaker 9>This is bad. This is so bad.

0:17:13.160 --> 0:17:14.120
<v Speaker 4>This is so bad.

0:17:14.440 --> 0:17:15.800
<v Speaker 11>It was like in my memory.

0:17:15.880 --> 0:17:16.240
<v Speaker 4>I don't.

0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:19.800
<v Speaker 11>I think it's just because everything was so like traumatic that,

0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:22.840
<v Speaker 11>you know that like weird like circus music, you know,

0:17:23.040 --> 0:17:25.640
<v Speaker 11>like a scene from a movie where like everything's going

0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:28.240
<v Speaker 11>weird and wacky and like all everything's spinning. Like that's

0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:30.400
<v Speaker 11>what it felt like, right Like he's sitting back there,

0:17:30.680 --> 0:17:32.679
<v Speaker 11>it's like going through all my stuff, like throwing it

0:17:32.720 --> 0:17:36.600
<v Speaker 11>behind him, my passport, my lovely wallet from Ethiopia, like

0:17:36.840 --> 0:17:39.240
<v Speaker 11>all this stuff, and I'm just like watching my whole

0:17:39.320 --> 0:17:42.760
<v Speaker 11>life be like emptied out in front of me as

0:17:42.800 --> 0:17:45.480
<v Speaker 11>I'm being driven through the desert, and I'm thinking, like,

0:17:46.240 --> 0:17:50.840
<v Speaker 11>what the fuck is happening? And Paul finally turns around

0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:54.640
<v Speaker 11>and to like check on me, and I whisper to

0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:58.919
<v Speaker 11>him what is happening, and he looks so sorry for me,

0:17:59.080 --> 0:18:02.679
<v Speaker 11>like gives me, oh my god, you haven't figured it

0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:06.840
<v Speaker 11>out yet, and then he just says, we're being kidnapped.

0:18:07.920 --> 0:18:10.280
<v Speaker 7>As I said, all of the links to these episodes,

0:18:10.359 --> 0:18:12.159
<v Speaker 7>if you happen to have missed them, are going to

0:18:12.160 --> 0:18:13.720
<v Speaker 7>be in the show notes. And this is one that

0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:16.560
<v Speaker 7>I can't recommend more going back and having listened to you,

0:18:16.680 --> 0:18:18.959
<v Speaker 7>it is just it's one of the most incredible stories

0:18:18.960 --> 0:18:22.040
<v Speaker 7>I have ever heard in my life. Next up in

0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:25.000
<v Speaker 7>our Year in Review was the event of the year,

0:18:25.160 --> 0:18:27.280
<v Speaker 7>at least for us. It was something that was five

0:18:27.359 --> 0:18:31.040
<v Speaker 7>years in the making a reality TV show later, And

0:18:31.280 --> 0:18:34.440
<v Speaker 7>of course I'm talking about Laura and Maddie Jay's wedding

0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:36.320
<v Speaker 7>it now. It was hard to pick a moment from

0:18:36.320 --> 0:18:38.359
<v Speaker 7>this because there were just so many. Just the wedding

0:18:38.440 --> 0:18:39.080
<v Speaker 7>was the best.

0:18:39.160 --> 0:18:40.479
<v Speaker 4>It was just so much fun.

0:18:41.080 --> 0:18:44.600
<v Speaker 7>But this particular moment, I remember looking over it while

0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:47.840
<v Speaker 7>we were in the ceremony, and you know when you're

0:18:47.880 --> 0:18:49.600
<v Speaker 7>at a wedding and like you're trying not to cry

0:18:49.640 --> 0:18:50.960
<v Speaker 7>because you know that it's going to make you make

0:18:51.040 --> 0:18:52.760
<v Speaker 7>up just run all over your face.

0:18:52.840 --> 0:18:54.840
<v Speaker 4>It was kind of as though everyone.

0:18:54.520 --> 0:18:58.000
<v Speaker 7>In the crowd just let that go, and everyone I

0:18:58.040 --> 0:19:02.080
<v Speaker 7>looked at was tears, everyone, particularly Matt. Matt definitely didn't

0:19:02.080 --> 0:19:03.480
<v Speaker 7>have dry eyes during this moment.

0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:07.280
<v Speaker 4>It was a very special part of Laura's vows And

0:19:07.600 --> 0:19:08.640
<v Speaker 4>this is what happened.

0:19:09.720 --> 0:19:11.760
<v Speaker 2>I wrote this, It's a story, and I wrote it

0:19:11.840 --> 0:19:14.560
<v Speaker 2>into my vows. As I wrote this, I was like

0:19:14.640 --> 0:19:17.119
<v Speaker 2>is this a really weird thing to put into your vows?

0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:19.600
<v Speaker 2>And then I was saying the story out loud, I

0:19:19.600 --> 0:19:21.120
<v Speaker 2>said it I think. I read it out to my sister,

0:19:21.200 --> 0:19:23.119
<v Speaker 2>and I read out to fe other friends, and they

0:19:23.160 --> 0:19:25.120
<v Speaker 2>were all a bit like, where are you going with this?

0:19:25.480 --> 0:19:27.359
<v Speaker 2>But then it ended up being like the one thing

0:19:27.800 --> 0:19:30.320
<v Speaker 2>that everyone was in tears about because I think the

0:19:30.320 --> 0:19:32.479
<v Speaker 2>message of it is important. It's still important to me,

0:19:32.480 --> 0:19:34.320
<v Speaker 2>but okay, I'll read a bit of it out. This

0:19:34.359 --> 0:19:35.600
<v Speaker 2>is my wedding vowls, which is weird?

0:19:35.600 --> 0:19:37.680
<v Speaker 3>Okay, do we have some music weekend overlay?

0:19:38.440 --> 0:19:40.000
<v Speaker 2>Okay, this is what I read to Matt, I wrote

0:19:40.160 --> 0:19:42.080
<v Speaker 2>the other week I was telling you about a podcast

0:19:42.119 --> 0:19:44.320
<v Speaker 2>I had listened to where Hugh van Kyleenberg was in

0:19:44.359 --> 0:19:46.879
<v Speaker 2>his kitchen this one morning, stressed out over the kids

0:19:46.920 --> 0:19:49.320
<v Speaker 2>and work when his nanny came in and asked her

0:19:49.359 --> 0:19:51.600
<v Speaker 2>how her morning was. She said she'd been for a

0:19:51.680 --> 0:19:54.120
<v Speaker 2>run and had breakfast with a girlfriend, all before eight

0:19:54.119 --> 0:19:57.080
<v Speaker 2>am on a Tuesday. After the nanny walked out, he

0:19:57.160 --> 0:19:59.600
<v Speaker 2>then said to his wife that he felt genuinely jealous

0:19:59.600 --> 0:20:01.520
<v Speaker 2>and a little a bit resentful of people who can

0:20:01.600 --> 0:20:03.920
<v Speaker 2>just get up in the morning and have no responsibilities.

0:20:04.600 --> 0:20:07.440
<v Speaker 2>Hugh's wife then showed him this article that she had

0:20:07.480 --> 0:20:09.439
<v Speaker 2>just been reading, and it was about how life is

0:20:09.480 --> 0:20:11.840
<v Speaker 2>made up of seasons and how whenever we are in

0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:13.800
<v Speaker 2>a season of life, we often spend much of it

0:20:13.840 --> 0:20:15.560
<v Speaker 2>wishing that we were in a different season.

0:20:15.960 --> 0:20:16.840
<v Speaker 3>It'll make me cry again.

0:20:18.119 --> 0:20:21.040
<v Speaker 2>I told you this story, and you asked me if

0:20:21.040 --> 0:20:25.000
<v Speaker 2>I felt like that, to which I replied sometimes. You paused,

0:20:25.000 --> 0:20:28.200
<v Speaker 2>and then you said, I don't relate to that because

0:20:28.200 --> 0:20:32.199
<v Speaker 2>I am in the season of my dreams. I have

0:20:32.280 --> 0:20:34.439
<v Speaker 2>thought about that a lot since then, especially when it

0:20:34.480 --> 0:20:36.639
<v Speaker 2>came to writing these vows, and I want you to

0:20:36.680 --> 0:20:38.359
<v Speaker 2>know that I am in the season of my dreams

0:20:38.359 --> 0:20:40.439
<v Speaker 2>with you, and I promise to never take that for credit.

0:20:40.480 --> 0:20:42.280
<v Speaker 2>As I know life doesn't get any better than this.

0:20:42.840 --> 0:20:45.760
<v Speaker 3>I will cry.

0:20:46.160 --> 0:20:48.440
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I'm intruding on a moment.

0:20:50.480 --> 0:20:51.800
<v Speaker 4>I have right here.

0:20:53.600 --> 0:20:58.359
<v Speaker 3>But honestly, for me, let's leave because I can't endit

0:20:58.400 --> 0:20:59.960
<v Speaker 3>that out. But if you want to leave the room

0:21:00.280 --> 0:21:03.439
<v Speaker 3>for about five or maybe six minutes, I heard it too.

0:21:05.160 --> 0:21:07.800
<v Speaker 7>Next up in our year Interview was a very special

0:21:07.840 --> 0:21:10.760
<v Speaker 7>episode that we recorded with Elerdie Pullen, and this is

0:21:10.800 --> 0:21:12.919
<v Speaker 7>the one that Laura spoke about in the intro as

0:21:12.960 --> 0:21:16.040
<v Speaker 7>probably being like first standout moment for her. This year,

0:21:16.680 --> 0:21:19.879
<v Speaker 7>Elerdie lost her partner Alex Chumpy Pullen in an accident

0:21:19.960 --> 0:21:22.760
<v Speaker 7>while Chumpy was spearfishing near their home in the Gold Coast.

0:21:23.240 --> 0:21:25.040
<v Speaker 7>The family has decided to go down the path of

0:21:25.119 --> 0:21:28.680
<v Speaker 7>something called posthumous sperm retrieval, which is what led Elitie

0:21:28.680 --> 0:21:32.040
<v Speaker 7>to having their beautiful baby girl, Minnie. This recording was

0:21:32.080 --> 0:21:34.679
<v Speaker 7>so special because Eldie was in Sydney and we said, oh,

0:21:34.720 --> 0:21:35.040
<v Speaker 7>you know.

0:21:35.000 --> 0:21:37.280
<v Speaker 4>Just bring Minni along if you want to, And so.

0:21:37.280 --> 0:21:38.960
<v Speaker 7>She brought Minnie along and she was there for the

0:21:39.000 --> 0:21:42.240
<v Speaker 7>whole recording. She's just such a beautiful baby. And in

0:21:42.280 --> 0:21:45.400
<v Speaker 7>this clip, Elle speaks about how you try to keep

0:21:45.440 --> 0:21:48.200
<v Speaker 7>your life moving forward while you're experiencing grief.

0:21:49.440 --> 0:21:52.560
<v Speaker 2>We as a society were so adverse to talking about

0:21:52.600 --> 0:21:55.639
<v Speaker 2>grief because it makes people uncomfortable, you know, like seeing

0:21:55.680 --> 0:21:59.840
<v Speaker 2>somebody else's pain and dealing with somebody else's grief. Often

0:22:00.000 --> 0:22:03.000
<v Speaker 2>we will avoid asking big questions that result in them

0:22:03.040 --> 0:22:05.280
<v Speaker 2>being upset because we kind of don't want to.

0:22:05.320 --> 0:22:06.439
<v Speaker 3>We don't want to upset someone.

0:22:06.480 --> 0:22:08.439
<v Speaker 2>But the hurt is still there regardless of whether you

0:22:08.480 --> 0:22:12.320
<v Speaker 2>talk about it or not how do you start. I

0:22:12.359 --> 0:22:14.159
<v Speaker 2>don't even think you start, but like, where do you

0:22:14.200 --> 0:22:16.359
<v Speaker 2>start to work through that grief?

0:22:16.720 --> 0:22:20.639
<v Speaker 6>I think, And everyone obviously handles these situations completely different.

0:22:20.640 --> 0:22:22.680
<v Speaker 9>I've got widow friends that I've now met.

0:22:22.440 --> 0:22:24.560
<v Speaker 6>That have also lost the loves of their life, and

0:22:24.560 --> 0:22:26.280
<v Speaker 6>I've met them on social media, and so we've like

0:22:26.320 --> 0:22:28.520
<v Speaker 6>banded together and we sit up late at night in

0:22:28.600 --> 0:22:30.520
<v Speaker 6>chat and that's how that's literally how I got through

0:22:30.560 --> 0:22:33.800
<v Speaker 6>at the start. But I remember the first I mean,

0:22:33.880 --> 0:22:35.239
<v Speaker 6>I don't know if it was like the first night,

0:22:35.280 --> 0:22:38.280
<v Speaker 6>but I just remember in general thinking how can I

0:22:38.359 --> 0:22:41.200
<v Speaker 6>go back to our house and sleep in our bed

0:22:41.240 --> 0:22:44.359
<v Speaker 6>and go back to like our life and our things like?

0:22:44.600 --> 0:22:47.400
<v Speaker 6>But then also how can I not? Would I want

0:22:47.440 --> 0:22:48.800
<v Speaker 6>to be anywhere else? Do I want to pack up

0:22:48.800 --> 0:22:49.520
<v Speaker 6>everything and move?

0:22:50.080 --> 0:22:50.280
<v Speaker 12>You know?

0:22:50.560 --> 0:22:52.200
<v Speaker 9>There was like all that going through my head.

0:22:53.160 --> 0:22:57.000
<v Speaker 6>But the safest place for me felt like my room

0:22:57.040 --> 0:22:59.440
<v Speaker 6>in our house was like my little sanctuary, and that's

0:22:59.480 --> 0:23:03.560
<v Speaker 6>where I felt safest to grieve and to process everything.

0:23:03.600 --> 0:23:05.280
<v Speaker 6>And I didn't want to even leave my house. I

0:23:05.280 --> 0:23:08.000
<v Speaker 6>didn't want to do anything but be in our space. Weirdly,

0:23:08.000 --> 0:23:09.720
<v Speaker 6>I don't know if it was because I felt like

0:23:09.760 --> 0:23:12.600
<v Speaker 6>he was there or I just felt like this protection

0:23:12.720 --> 0:23:16.199
<v Speaker 6>in the house in such a vulnerable time where like

0:23:16.240 --> 0:23:20.320
<v Speaker 6>I was just completely broken into pieces, and I was

0:23:20.400 --> 0:23:23.720
<v Speaker 6>so glad I felt grounded in our house because I

0:23:23.760 --> 0:23:26.000
<v Speaker 6>couldn't imagine and this would happen to a lot of

0:23:26.040 --> 0:23:28.439
<v Speaker 6>widows or you know, people going through massive loss they

0:23:28.440 --> 0:23:30.959
<v Speaker 6>need to up and move. And maybe also because COVID

0:23:30.960 --> 0:23:33.720
<v Speaker 6>was around, I couldn't just fuck off overseas and like restart,

0:23:33.720 --> 0:23:37.480
<v Speaker 6>and I had had our dog, and do you know what,

0:23:37.600 --> 0:23:41.280
<v Speaker 6>my life essentially, apart from Chump being completely gone, I

0:23:41.320 --> 0:23:43.199
<v Speaker 6>just kept doing what we would do every day. I

0:23:43.240 --> 0:23:44.840
<v Speaker 6>just kept going to the beach in the morning with

0:23:44.880 --> 0:23:48.360
<v Speaker 6>my dog and walking her and just keeping some sort

0:23:48.400 --> 0:23:51.520
<v Speaker 6>of routine in my life. I had all my friends

0:23:51.520 --> 0:23:54.520
<v Speaker 6>and family around me constantly. I was barely alone, you

0:23:54.560 --> 0:23:57.080
<v Speaker 6>know what, you just keep going like I just didn't

0:23:57.080 --> 0:23:59.080
<v Speaker 6>have a choice. And people are always like, you're so.

0:23:58.880 --> 0:24:01.600
<v Speaker 9>Strong, You're so amazing, Like I'm not amazing. I'm not strong.

0:24:01.640 --> 0:24:03.200
<v Speaker 9>I just actually don't have a choice.

0:24:03.400 --> 0:24:07.080
<v Speaker 6>And I think I think I'm such a rational, realistic person.

0:24:07.160 --> 0:24:10.720
<v Speaker 6>And I was just like I either die here today

0:24:10.760 --> 0:24:13.760
<v Speaker 6>with Chump, like let my or not maybe not physically die,

0:24:13.760 --> 0:24:16.600
<v Speaker 6>but like let myself just die or I just pick

0:24:16.680 --> 0:24:17.280
<v Speaker 6>myself up.

0:24:17.240 --> 0:24:20.280
<v Speaker 9>And I just keep going. Well that's my only option, right.

0:24:20.680 --> 0:24:23.000
<v Speaker 1>Like you said, everyone experiences it differently and no one

0:24:23.160 --> 0:24:24.800
<v Speaker 1>is ever gonna be able to understand what it's like.

0:24:24.920 --> 0:24:29.640
<v Speaker 1>But were there ever moments where you felt guilty, like

0:24:29.800 --> 0:24:31.960
<v Speaker 1>in terms of you were having fun with your friends,

0:24:32.080 --> 0:24:34.320
<v Speaker 1>or you were laughing, or maybe you weren't thinking about

0:24:34.359 --> 0:24:36.800
<v Speaker 1>him for ten minutes while you're doing something. Did you

0:24:36.800 --> 0:24:40.400
<v Speaker 1>have moments of guilt like I shouldn't feel this reprieve

0:24:40.480 --> 0:24:41.800
<v Speaker 1>and relief when he's not here.

0:24:41.960 --> 0:24:43.360
<v Speaker 9>It's such a catch twenty two.

0:24:43.400 --> 0:24:46.199
<v Speaker 6>So I'd find myself like out with friends, laughing my

0:24:46.240 --> 0:24:48.399
<v Speaker 6>head off, having a great time just months after.

0:24:49.240 --> 0:24:51.320
<v Speaker 9>But don't get me wrong, people would say like.

0:24:51.400 --> 0:24:53.320
<v Speaker 6>Hey, if you don't mind me asking like you know,

0:24:53.560 --> 0:24:56.400
<v Speaker 6>or bring up Chump or uk something, and I'd be like, hey,

0:24:56.400 --> 0:24:59.760
<v Speaker 6>you're not reminding me, Like it's always here, it's right here.

0:25:00.000 --> 0:25:02.000
<v Speaker 6>So yeah, I would be having fun and I would

0:25:02.040 --> 0:25:04.040
<v Speaker 6>kind of feel guilty. But then when i'd go home

0:25:04.040 --> 0:25:06.320
<v Speaker 6>and crawl into a hole or say, whether I'm alone

0:25:06.400 --> 0:25:09.119
<v Speaker 6>or with someone, and I'd like how or like just

0:25:09.640 --> 0:25:12.399
<v Speaker 6>be super to have a really depressing day, or like

0:25:12.440 --> 0:25:14.480
<v Speaker 6>a big wave of grief would come and I'd just

0:25:14.480 --> 0:25:15.360
<v Speaker 6>be debilitated.

0:25:15.640 --> 0:25:18.400
<v Speaker 9>I'd feel also so guilty about that because I don't

0:25:18.400 --> 0:25:19.399
<v Speaker 9>want him.

0:25:19.680 --> 0:25:21.359
<v Speaker 6>I just I don't want him looking down on me,

0:25:21.480 --> 0:25:25.840
<v Speaker 6>like just kind of dying, you know, or yeah, so

0:25:25.960 --> 0:25:26.320
<v Speaker 6>I don't know.

0:25:26.600 --> 0:25:29.280
<v Speaker 9>I'd feel there's just literally no right or wrong. I

0:25:29.280 --> 0:25:31.160
<v Speaker 9>felt so guilty about anything I did.

0:25:32.359 --> 0:25:34.439
<v Speaker 4>I think that episode really struck a chord for a

0:25:34.440 --> 0:25:35.320
<v Speaker 4>lot of people.

0:25:35.160 --> 0:25:38.800
<v Speaker 7>Especially ones that have experienced grief in their own lives.

0:25:39.400 --> 0:25:41.240
<v Speaker 7>Ellena has a book and a podcast of her own

0:25:41.280 --> 0:25:43.000
<v Speaker 7>if you would like to hear a little bit more

0:25:43.040 --> 0:25:46.280
<v Speaker 7>from her. Something very massive that happened in twenty twenty

0:25:46.359 --> 0:25:47.120
<v Speaker 7>two was.

0:25:47.080 --> 0:25:49.520
<v Speaker 4>That Laura and Britt wrote a book.

0:25:50.119 --> 0:25:52.239
<v Speaker 7>Now, that book was actually written over the space of

0:25:52.359 --> 0:25:54.679
<v Speaker 7>a year and a half, and as I think a

0:25:54.680 --> 0:25:59.080
<v Speaker 7>lot of us would relate to, a lot happened.

0:25:58.720 --> 0:25:59.520
<v Speaker 4>In that year and a half.

0:25:59.520 --> 0:26:02.800
<v Speaker 7>It was when we all in COVID lockdowns across the world.

0:26:03.760 --> 0:26:07.159
<v Speaker 7>Lots and lots changed. And one thing that particularly changed

0:26:07.160 --> 0:26:08.959
<v Speaker 7>from the start of writing that book to the end

0:26:08.960 --> 0:26:11.399
<v Speaker 7>of writing that book for brit was her being in

0:26:11.440 --> 0:26:14.160
<v Speaker 7>and out of love. Now I know that the side

0:26:14.160 --> 0:26:15.640
<v Speaker 7>of writ that we see on the podcast a lot

0:26:15.640 --> 0:26:18.280
<v Speaker 7>of the time is jovial. She's the first to take fears,

0:26:18.359 --> 0:26:20.600
<v Speaker 7>like the first of crack a joke, and I love

0:26:20.640 --> 0:26:21.280
<v Speaker 7>that about her.

0:26:21.680 --> 0:26:23.159
<v Speaker 4>But this particular.

0:26:22.680 --> 0:26:24.919
<v Speaker 7>Moment on the podcast was a real standout for me

0:26:25.040 --> 0:26:28.639
<v Speaker 7>because this was a bit of an insight into the very,

0:26:28.760 --> 0:26:30.720
<v Speaker 7>very vulnerable and real side.

0:26:30.480 --> 0:26:34.440
<v Speaker 4>Of writ And it's all about when you're dating and

0:26:34.640 --> 0:26:36.919
<v Speaker 4>you just wonder when it's going to happen for you.

0:26:37.240 --> 0:26:40.040
<v Speaker 4>And Britt also spoke about struggling with the feeling of

0:26:40.080 --> 0:26:41.000
<v Speaker 4>worthiness of.

0:26:40.920 --> 0:26:43.320
<v Speaker 3>Love when you started writing it.

0:26:43.440 --> 0:26:45.320
<v Speaker 2>You wrote it when you were in love with Jordan,

0:26:45.480 --> 0:26:47.920
<v Speaker 2>and then it kind of transitioned through your breakup.

0:26:47.960 --> 0:26:51.480
<v Speaker 3>And I know that we have touched on that, but what.

0:26:51.359 --> 0:26:55.119
<v Speaker 2>Was it like going back and having to rewrite some

0:26:55.200 --> 0:26:58.760
<v Speaker 2>of those chapters so that the tense made sense, you know?

0:26:58.960 --> 0:27:01.920
<v Speaker 2>And I think like being able to go from speaking

0:27:01.920 --> 0:27:04.800
<v Speaker 2>about your relationship in real time in terms of like

0:27:04.880 --> 0:27:07.440
<v Speaker 2>how you felt, to having to go back and rewrite

0:27:07.520 --> 0:27:10.639
<v Speaker 2>chapters retrospectively. It's almost like a cruel trauma to have

0:27:10.720 --> 0:27:11.120
<v Speaker 2>to do that.

0:27:11.359 --> 0:27:14.080
<v Speaker 1>It was horrific, it was, and and you know, I'll

0:27:14.119 --> 0:27:16.080
<v Speaker 1>try it to cry again because we've already cried once.

0:27:15.920 --> 0:27:16.640
<v Speaker 4>In this episode.

0:27:16.760 --> 0:27:18.200
<v Speaker 3>You're allowed to cry, It's okay.

0:27:18.320 --> 0:27:21.800
<v Speaker 1>No, but it was, well, I haven't even I haven't

0:27:21.840 --> 0:27:23.360
<v Speaker 1>thought about it for a little while because I really

0:27:23.359 --> 0:27:25.640
<v Speaker 1>buried it again, like once I press go and sent

0:27:25.680 --> 0:27:27.520
<v Speaker 1>it to the publishers, I was like, I'm just.

0:27:27.440 --> 0:27:29.040
<v Speaker 4>Not going to think about that until I have to, but.

0:27:29.280 --> 0:27:30.760
<v Speaker 3>Until I read it and then Laura makes me talk

0:27:30.760 --> 0:27:31.480
<v Speaker 3>about it on a podcast.

0:27:31.640 --> 0:27:35.040
<v Speaker 4>It was horrific. It was. It was the things like.

0:27:36.680 --> 0:27:38.560
<v Speaker 1>Because it was probably a year between when I wrote

0:27:38.640 --> 0:27:42.120
<v Speaker 1>about you know, the love chapters and the Penguin chapters

0:27:42.160 --> 0:27:44.480
<v Speaker 1>of finding your person and all those really beautiful things

0:27:44.520 --> 0:27:47.639
<v Speaker 1>that we've done, going back and rewriting it, so I

0:27:47.640 --> 0:27:50.640
<v Speaker 1>had to go and change things like there were sentences

0:27:50.480 --> 0:27:53.440
<v Speaker 1>was like, and you know, this is how I knew

0:27:53.480 --> 0:27:54.679
<v Speaker 1>he was the one, and I feel so lucky I

0:27:54.680 --> 0:27:57.120
<v Speaker 1>found the person in my life that to changing that too.

0:27:58.040 --> 0:27:59.920
<v Speaker 4>I thought I had found the person in my life.

0:28:00.119 --> 0:28:01.320
<v Speaker 4>I all past tense.

0:28:01.359 --> 0:28:03.399
<v Speaker 1>I had to go and rewrite the whole book, and

0:28:03.440 --> 0:28:05.320
<v Speaker 1>there are some parts that I left as is.

0:28:05.359 --> 0:28:06.480
<v Speaker 4>There were some parts I took.

0:28:06.320 --> 0:28:08.600
<v Speaker 1>Out because I'm like, that can't be in there anymore

0:28:08.640 --> 0:28:12.080
<v Speaker 1>because it's too beautiful. It's like it's too like it

0:28:12.200 --> 0:28:14.000
<v Speaker 1>just didn't fit the narrative anymore.

0:28:14.000 --> 0:28:15.439
<v Speaker 4>So there were some parts I had to remove.

0:28:16.040 --> 0:28:20.199
<v Speaker 1>It was definitely reliving what was my happiest time in

0:28:20.200 --> 0:28:22.640
<v Speaker 1>my life, and it was a really like cruel reminder

0:28:22.640 --> 0:28:24.960
<v Speaker 1>that you don't have that anymore and you're back to,

0:28:25.880 --> 0:28:29.120
<v Speaker 1>you know, writing chapters about solitude and being on your

0:28:29.160 --> 0:28:32.720
<v Speaker 1>own and writing. When I was talking about fertility and

0:28:32.760 --> 0:28:35.280
<v Speaker 1>freezing my eggs and things like that, I froze those

0:28:35.359 --> 0:28:37.600
<v Speaker 1>and I did that with Jordan, like we did that.

0:28:37.960 --> 0:28:39.800
<v Speaker 1>You know, he was there holding my hand the whole time,

0:28:40.840 --> 0:28:44.840
<v Speaker 1>and we had talked about that life together. So going

0:28:44.880 --> 0:28:48.280
<v Speaker 1>back and revisiting that and realizing that, well, that might

0:28:48.320 --> 0:28:50.440
<v Speaker 1>not end up like that anymore. So I might not

0:28:50.480 --> 0:28:53.720
<v Speaker 1>ever have a child anymore because I am getting older,

0:28:53.800 --> 0:28:55.880
<v Speaker 1>i am single, I'm alone again. So it was a

0:28:55.880 --> 0:28:58.200
<v Speaker 1>bit of a sick joke in a sense.

0:28:58.920 --> 0:29:01.280
<v Speaker 2>I wanted to ask you about that side of things,

0:29:01.280 --> 0:29:04.840
<v Speaker 2>because I know that when you wrote fertility, and not

0:29:04.840 --> 0:29:06.160
<v Speaker 2>even when you wrote it, when we did the whole

0:29:06.200 --> 0:29:08.880
<v Speaker 2>episode around fertility, you were in a very different phase,

0:29:08.920 --> 0:29:10.000
<v Speaker 2>like you had a plan.

0:29:09.840 --> 0:29:12.840
<v Speaker 3>For what you wanted to do. You were like you know, at.

0:29:12.800 --> 0:29:14.560
<v Speaker 2>Least even if you didn't have a plan, you had

0:29:14.560 --> 0:29:17.080
<v Speaker 2>a backup, which is the whole point of freezing your eggs.

0:29:17.560 --> 0:29:18.760
<v Speaker 3>How do you feel about that now?

0:29:19.760 --> 0:29:22.600
<v Speaker 1>I said this to you just a couple of days ago. Actually,

0:29:23.200 --> 0:29:24.880
<v Speaker 1>this like off the record, Laura and I were actually

0:29:24.880 --> 0:29:28.840
<v Speaker 1>just having a real conversation. Sometimes it happened, sometimes it happens,

0:29:29.520 --> 0:29:31.680
<v Speaker 1>and it was about I've had this real moment in

0:29:31.720 --> 0:29:33.640
<v Speaker 1>my life in the last couple of weeks or the

0:29:33.680 --> 0:29:35.840
<v Speaker 1>last like maybe a couple of months, where it's a

0:29:35.840 --> 0:29:39.560
<v Speaker 1>bit of a change. So I've always said things over

0:29:39.560 --> 0:29:41.360
<v Speaker 1>the past few years since I've known Laura. I always

0:29:41.400 --> 0:29:43.880
<v Speaker 1>said things like, maybe it's not for me, you know,

0:29:43.920 --> 0:29:46.040
<v Speaker 1>maybe love's not for me, Maybe kids aren't for me.

0:29:46.200 --> 0:29:47.280
<v Speaker 1>Maybe that's not what's.

0:29:47.080 --> 0:29:47.520
<v Speaker 4>Meant for me.

0:29:48.560 --> 0:29:51.800
<v Speaker 1>I've realized now I don't think I ever actually believed that.

0:29:51.880 --> 0:29:54.160
<v Speaker 1>I think I said those comments in the depths of despair.

0:29:55.080 --> 0:29:56.840
<v Speaker 1>I was feeling really down. It was easier just to

0:29:56.920 --> 0:29:59.320
<v Speaker 1>voice this negativity and have a moment where I was like,

0:29:59.320 --> 0:29:59.840
<v Speaker 1>whoa is me?

0:30:00.000 --> 0:30:01.479
<v Speaker 4>But I don't think I actually ever believed it.

0:30:01.640 --> 0:30:03.880
<v Speaker 1>I think I was saying these as throwaway comments, like

0:30:03.920 --> 0:30:05.719
<v Speaker 1>oh well, Brittany, get over it's not for you. But

0:30:06.520 --> 0:30:09.160
<v Speaker 1>deep down I still thought it would happen. And now

0:30:09.200 --> 0:30:13.720
<v Speaker 1>I've transitioned to I genuinely am thinking that. Now I'm like, wow,

0:30:13.760 --> 0:30:16.320
<v Speaker 1>maybe this actually really isn't for you, And it's made

0:30:16.320 --> 0:30:18.320
<v Speaker 1>me realize that I don't think I believed it earlier.

0:30:18.480 --> 0:30:19.640
<v Speaker 4>So it's I feel like I've.

0:30:19.480 --> 0:30:22.440
<v Speaker 1>Gone into this a new phase I haven't been in

0:30:22.520 --> 0:30:25.240
<v Speaker 1>yet where I am thirty five. I'm already thirty five,

0:30:25.520 --> 0:30:28.960
<v Speaker 1>very single. I am ninety nine percent sure I don't

0:30:29.000 --> 0:30:31.640
<v Speaker 1>want kids alone, Like I know that there's nothing wrong

0:30:31.680 --> 0:30:32.920
<v Speaker 1>with it. I know there are people that go down

0:30:32.960 --> 0:30:35.840
<v Speaker 1>that track. Maybe I'll change my mind in a few

0:30:35.920 --> 0:30:38.040
<v Speaker 1>years if I hit forty and I'm still alone, maybe

0:30:38.080 --> 0:30:40.560
<v Speaker 1>I will. But now I don't think that's a journey

0:30:40.560 --> 0:30:42.640
<v Speaker 1>I want to go down alone. So then you have

0:30:42.760 --> 0:30:46.920
<v Speaker 1>this shock realization where you're like, fuck, it actually might

0:30:46.960 --> 0:30:47.680
<v Speaker 1>not happen for you.

0:30:48.880 --> 0:30:50.720
<v Speaker 2>I think with that, the only thing I want to

0:30:50.720 --> 0:30:54.160
<v Speaker 2>say is when you say maybe, because you kind of

0:30:54.160 --> 0:30:55.840
<v Speaker 2>bundled them together, and I want you to be aware

0:30:55.840 --> 0:30:57.560
<v Speaker 2>of this. You said, maybe love's not for me, maybe

0:30:57.640 --> 0:30:58.320
<v Speaker 2>kids are not for me.

0:30:58.760 --> 0:31:00.000
<v Speaker 4>Definitely bundled them together.

0:31:00.360 --> 0:31:03.840
<v Speaker 2>They're two different things, and that's really important because like

0:31:04.080 --> 0:31:07.880
<v Speaker 2>love is for you, and that's you projecting like how

0:31:07.920 --> 0:31:10.840
<v Speaker 2>you feel about yourself. But they don't live together. You

0:31:10.880 --> 0:31:16.040
<v Speaker 2>can tear the coffy to me, but they don't. Like,

0:31:16.320 --> 0:31:18.400
<v Speaker 2>if you decide that you don't want to have kids,

0:31:18.920 --> 0:31:22.280
<v Speaker 2>that's okay, but that's decisions on you. You can and

0:31:22.320 --> 0:31:24.880
<v Speaker 2>you will find someone that you love and want to

0:31:24.920 --> 0:31:28.120
<v Speaker 2>be in love with. Those things do not sit together,

0:31:28.600 --> 0:31:30.200
<v Speaker 2>and they just want you to be really conscious when

0:31:30.200 --> 0:31:33.360
<v Speaker 2>you're talking about it, because like you are so worthy

0:31:33.360 --> 0:31:35.520
<v Speaker 2>of being loved, and then you get to decide whether

0:31:35.560 --> 0:31:36.720
<v Speaker 2>you want to have kids.

0:31:37.160 --> 0:31:41.640
<v Speaker 3>I know, I know it.

0:31:41.720 --> 0:31:45.280
<v Speaker 1>I love you. I guess that's why it was such

0:31:45.320 --> 0:31:46.640
<v Speaker 1>a hard chapter, because I know there are a lot

0:31:46.680 --> 0:31:49.120
<v Speaker 1>of women out there that are in my position where

0:31:49.120 --> 0:31:50.320
<v Speaker 1>you get to a point where you're like, I just

0:31:50.360 --> 0:31:50.880
<v Speaker 1>want to give up.

0:31:50.920 --> 0:31:51.920
<v Speaker 4>I don't want to do it anymore.

0:31:52.520 --> 0:31:54.840
<v Speaker 1>Something's wrong with me, something's inherently wrong with me.

0:31:54.920 --> 0:31:56.800
<v Speaker 4>Because I can't find it. Everyone else can find it.

0:31:56.840 --> 0:31:59.000
<v Speaker 4>And I know that that's a really relatable thing, and

0:31:59.040 --> 0:31:59.480
<v Speaker 4>I guess.

0:31:59.280 --> 0:32:02.760
<v Speaker 1>That's why I talk about it, because people feel these

0:32:02.800 --> 0:32:05.040
<v Speaker 1>things and they feel like they're the only one that

0:32:05.040 --> 0:32:09.200
<v Speaker 1>feels them, but they're not. Everyone goes through these times

0:32:09.200 --> 0:32:12.920
<v Speaker 1>of their life and you are right, I no, I

0:32:13.000 --> 0:32:16.160
<v Speaker 1>know for me it'll happen one day. But you get

0:32:16.160 --> 0:32:18.160
<v Speaker 1>to a point where you're like, when is that day?

0:32:18.520 --> 0:32:20.480
<v Speaker 1>What do I have to do? Differently, what do I

0:32:20.880 --> 0:32:23.840
<v Speaker 1>you know? And it's exhausting for this to have space

0:32:23.880 --> 0:32:24.400
<v Speaker 1>in the back.

0:32:24.280 --> 0:32:26.120
<v Speaker 4>Of your mind totally, and a.

0:32:26.080 --> 0:32:28.320
<v Speaker 1>Lot of women it holds a lot of space, especially

0:32:28.320 --> 0:32:29.959
<v Speaker 1>as the years get older. You don't want to think

0:32:30.000 --> 0:32:31.719
<v Speaker 1>about it. Everyone says, don't think about it, don't think

0:32:31.720 --> 0:32:33.240
<v Speaker 1>about kids, don't think I'm dating, don't think.

0:32:33.120 --> 0:32:34.640
<v Speaker 4>About finding the one. Just let it happen.

0:32:35.120 --> 0:32:35.520
<v Speaker 3>You can't.

0:32:35.640 --> 0:32:37.360
<v Speaker 1>You can't just let it happen when you're a woman

0:32:37.360 --> 0:32:40.080
<v Speaker 1>that is aging with a biological clock. And that is

0:32:40.120 --> 0:32:41.760
<v Speaker 1>the thing I want to drive home. It's the fact

0:32:41.800 --> 0:32:45.440
<v Speaker 1>that we there are limitations and it sucks, fucking sucks.

0:32:45.600 --> 0:32:46.920
<v Speaker 1>But there are things you can do about it, like

0:32:46.920 --> 0:32:49.360
<v Speaker 1>freezing your eggs. But there are limitations and it does

0:32:49.440 --> 0:32:53.280
<v Speaker 1>take space in your mind, whether you want to accept.

0:32:52.920 --> 0:32:53.320
<v Speaker 7>That or not.

0:32:54.440 --> 0:32:54.880
<v Speaker 3>Just so you know.

0:32:55.160 --> 0:32:57.640
<v Speaker 7>The book We Love Love available at all Good and

0:32:57.680 --> 0:33:00.840
<v Speaker 7>Bad bookstores. You can also grab it online our website

0:33:01.080 --> 0:33:02.920
<v Speaker 7>there's a link in our show notes if you want

0:33:02.920 --> 0:33:05.560
<v Speaker 7>to grab yourself for coffee. There is also the audiobook

0:33:05.600 --> 0:33:08.040
<v Speaker 7>if you would like something to listen to over Christmas

0:33:08.040 --> 0:33:09.240
<v Speaker 7>while a lot of podcasts are.

0:33:09.160 --> 0:33:12.960
<v Speaker 4>On break coming up next in our year and review. Ah,

0:33:13.000 --> 0:33:13.880
<v Speaker 4>this was such a ve.

0:33:14.440 --> 0:33:17.400
<v Speaker 13>We got to speak to the world leading expert on

0:33:17.520 --> 0:33:20.320
<v Speaker 13>relationships Esther Parrell, and I can still remember when the

0:33:20.360 --> 0:33:22.640
<v Speaker 13>text came through to our group chat about this interview,

0:33:22.640 --> 0:33:24.520
<v Speaker 13>like we were all just losing our fucking minds.

0:33:24.960 --> 0:33:27.440
<v Speaker 4>Ester Parell was the creme de la creme.

0:33:27.720 --> 0:33:30.920
<v Speaker 7>She was just the person that all of us wanted

0:33:31.000 --> 0:33:33.280
<v Speaker 7>so badly to get onto the podcast, So this is

0:33:33.360 --> 0:33:37.000
<v Speaker 7>a super exciting moment for us. She has such nuanced

0:33:37.040 --> 0:33:40.920
<v Speaker 7>perspectives on human psychology surrounding relationships and sex. I particularly

0:33:41.000 --> 0:33:44.400
<v Speaker 7>loved what she spoke about with desire and eroticism, And.

0:33:44.400 --> 0:33:47.440
<v Speaker 4>To be honest, I could have pulled any part of

0:33:47.480 --> 0:33:48.640
<v Speaker 4>this interview as a highlight.

0:33:48.680 --> 0:33:51.880
<v Speaker 7>I actually really struggled to pick a certain couple of

0:33:51.920 --> 0:33:55.120
<v Speaker 7>minutes to do for this highlight reel, but just yeah,

0:33:55.120 --> 0:33:56.480
<v Speaker 7>everything she said made me.

0:33:56.800 --> 0:33:59.000
<v Speaker 4>Kind of have an AHA moment, I suppose. So I

0:33:59.000 --> 0:34:00.800
<v Speaker 4>hope you enjoyed this part est parole.

0:34:01.760 --> 0:34:05.240
<v Speaker 1>If one partner is very sexual and wanting it a

0:34:05.280 --> 0:34:07.640
<v Speaker 1>lot and the other partner is not coming to the table,

0:34:08.000 --> 0:34:09.520
<v Speaker 1>is this relationship doomed?

0:34:10.000 --> 0:34:13.799
<v Speaker 5>But I don't think that I have nearly enough information

0:34:14.480 --> 0:34:17.680
<v Speaker 5>when it's presented like this. My first question when one

0:34:17.719 --> 0:34:19.719
<v Speaker 5>person is so much more interesting than the other is

0:34:19.760 --> 0:34:22.239
<v Speaker 5>to ask the other person do you enjoy it? First

0:34:22.280 --> 0:34:24.440
<v Speaker 5>of all, do you enjoy it? Then I'll know it

0:34:24.480 --> 0:34:26.160
<v Speaker 5>why you don't want to do it as much as

0:34:26.160 --> 0:34:29.000
<v Speaker 5>the other person. Then the next question is how does

0:34:29.040 --> 0:34:32.080
<v Speaker 5>your partner reach out to you? I mean, what is

0:34:32.120 --> 0:34:34.960
<v Speaker 5>four play like? And if it's a five minutes before

0:34:34.960 --> 0:34:37.120
<v Speaker 5>the real thing, then I can also understand that for

0:34:37.200 --> 0:34:40.200
<v Speaker 5>a lot of people that's not enough. Actually, four play

0:34:40.320 --> 0:34:43.400
<v Speaker 5>should start at the end of the previous orgasm. You know,

0:34:43.600 --> 0:34:45.719
<v Speaker 5>Or a person says, you know, does my partner doesn't

0:34:45.719 --> 0:34:47.520
<v Speaker 5>talk to me the whole day and then suddenly they

0:34:47.520 --> 0:34:49.200
<v Speaker 5>turn around and they want to just kind of get

0:34:49.239 --> 0:34:53.080
<v Speaker 5>into it. No, that doesn't work for me, I'm totally disconnected.

0:34:53.719 --> 0:34:57.600
<v Speaker 5>Or you know, one person saying I have high distosterone,

0:34:57.680 --> 0:35:00.600
<v Speaker 5>I have high desire, I get aroused. That doesn't say

0:35:00.719 --> 0:35:04.080
<v Speaker 5>nothing to the dynamic in a relationship that just says

0:35:04.520 --> 0:35:06.719
<v Speaker 5>you enjoy having says well, you like it, or you

0:35:06.840 --> 0:35:09.480
<v Speaker 5>need it or you want it. That's all I know. Now,

0:35:09.520 --> 0:35:11.239
<v Speaker 5>tell me what goes on between the two of you.

0:35:11.360 --> 0:35:14.280
<v Speaker 5>If I'm a camera on the wall, what am I seeing?

0:35:15.200 --> 0:35:19.000
<v Speaker 5>Am I seeing? One person? Just suddenly, you know, say here,

0:35:19.080 --> 0:35:21.719
<v Speaker 5>I am what's up with you? While you're never interested?

0:35:22.719 --> 0:35:24.719
<v Speaker 5>Or do I have a person who actually knows how

0:35:24.760 --> 0:35:29.719
<v Speaker 5>to elicit interest, you know, by reaching out. The one

0:35:29.760 --> 0:35:33.120
<v Speaker 5>thing that is very important, though, is that it's okay

0:35:33.160 --> 0:35:38.320
<v Speaker 5>to be responsive. Not everybody is an initiator. Some people

0:35:38.760 --> 0:35:42.680
<v Speaker 5>don't necessarily want to do something until someone else says

0:35:42.880 --> 0:35:47.839
<v Speaker 5>how about and then gradually they bring them into the experience.

0:35:48.640 --> 0:35:52.320
<v Speaker 5>But if you think of it as I always want

0:35:52.840 --> 0:35:55.759
<v Speaker 5>and I have to talk you into it, and I

0:35:55.800 --> 0:35:58.279
<v Speaker 5>have to you know, I did the dishes, and now

0:35:58.320 --> 0:35:59.359
<v Speaker 5>hopefully I'll get some.

0:36:00.719 --> 0:36:02.080
<v Speaker 4>That sounds by their relationship.

0:36:02.200 --> 0:36:04.960
<v Speaker 2>But okay, I appreciate so much that this is the

0:36:05.000 --> 0:36:07.239
<v Speaker 2>perspective that you come to this conversation with. And I

0:36:07.239 --> 0:36:10.040
<v Speaker 2>think it's so important for a lot of people who

0:36:10.280 --> 0:36:13.120
<v Speaker 2>have a mismatch in the sex drive in their relationship

0:36:13.120 --> 0:36:15.600
<v Speaker 2>because they can definitely become that one person feels like

0:36:15.600 --> 0:36:18.239
<v Speaker 2>the villain, like they're withholding sex. But I know that

0:36:18.400 --> 0:36:20.880
<v Speaker 2>from my personal experience, Like I became a mum in

0:36:20.920 --> 0:36:23.400
<v Speaker 2>the last two years. I've had two children in a

0:36:23.480 --> 0:36:26.520
<v Speaker 2>very short period of time, and so my whole identity

0:36:26.560 --> 0:36:29.239
<v Speaker 2>has changed. What I need in order to get in

0:36:29.280 --> 0:36:31.480
<v Speaker 2>the mood to have sex is different to when we

0:36:31.560 --> 0:36:32.879
<v Speaker 2>first started dating.

0:36:33.080 --> 0:36:34.719
<v Speaker 5>Very much, very much soon.

0:36:34.840 --> 0:36:36.719
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I think that sometimes, you know, it's very

0:36:36.760 --> 0:36:39.560
<v Speaker 2>easy to fall into a pattern of arguing about sex.

0:36:39.640 --> 0:36:41.880
<v Speaker 2>If at like you said, eleven o'clock at night, that's

0:36:41.920 --> 0:36:44.759
<v Speaker 2>when they're like, well, I'm ready now, and what do

0:36:44.800 --> 0:36:46.560
<v Speaker 2>you mean you're going to reject me? And it's like, well,

0:36:46.960 --> 0:36:49.520
<v Speaker 2>guess what, I'm fucking tired. It's eleven o'clock at night

0:36:49.560 --> 0:36:51.800
<v Speaker 2>and I've just been up all night the night before.

0:36:52.160 --> 0:36:54.480
<v Speaker 2>It's almost like you're setting yourself up. Well, that person's

0:36:54.480 --> 0:36:56.840
<v Speaker 2>setting you up to say no to then be angry.

0:36:57.200 --> 0:36:59.600
<v Speaker 2>And I think a lot of people still, if they're

0:36:59.600 --> 0:37:02.479
<v Speaker 2>the one projecting or not coming to the table with sex,

0:37:02.520 --> 0:37:04.000
<v Speaker 2>it can feel like they're the problem.

0:37:04.520 --> 0:37:07.719
<v Speaker 5>So let me change this whole dynamic Fiel number one.

0:37:07.719 --> 0:37:10.400
<v Speaker 5>I'm going to give you three little snapshots. First of

0:37:10.480 --> 0:37:13.920
<v Speaker 5>all you have your little one. You tickle them, you

0:37:14.040 --> 0:37:17.600
<v Speaker 5>nibble them, you lick them, you look at them in

0:37:17.640 --> 0:37:19.600
<v Speaker 5>their eyes. They look at you in their eyes, their

0:37:19.600 --> 0:37:23.799
<v Speaker 5>adoring gaze, and it feels almost the same kind of

0:37:23.800 --> 0:37:26.480
<v Speaker 5>pleasure as you had in the first days when you

0:37:26.560 --> 0:37:30.080
<v Speaker 5>met your partner. It has that kind of charge. And

0:37:30.200 --> 0:37:33.120
<v Speaker 5>basically at the end of the day, when you say

0:37:33.160 --> 0:37:35.920
<v Speaker 5>I have nothing left to give, I also want you

0:37:36.000 --> 0:37:38.919
<v Speaker 5>to know that sometimes it's because there is nothing more

0:37:38.920 --> 0:37:43.840
<v Speaker 5>you need. You already are satiated. All of that is erotic.

0:37:43.920 --> 0:37:47.480
<v Speaker 5>It's not sexual, but it's erotic. It's very pleasurable in

0:37:47.520 --> 0:37:50.480
<v Speaker 5>that way. And that is for you to then know

0:37:50.640 --> 0:37:55.680
<v Speaker 5>that sometimes that makes the partner feel very lonely, very separate,

0:37:56.200 --> 0:37:58.200
<v Speaker 5>and that they want to know that you can still

0:37:58.239 --> 0:38:01.440
<v Speaker 5>have some of those feelings with them as well. That's

0:38:01.520 --> 0:38:04.839
<v Speaker 5>the first thing. The second thing is that when your

0:38:04.840 --> 0:38:07.880
<v Speaker 5>partner approaches you and you want to say I'm tired,

0:38:08.239 --> 0:38:11.200
<v Speaker 5>I think it's very important to also say I really

0:38:11.360 --> 0:38:14.640
<v Speaker 5>like that you still approach me. It feels really good.

0:38:15.120 --> 0:38:18.319
<v Speaker 5>I hope at some point soon I find my way

0:38:18.360 --> 0:38:20.799
<v Speaker 5>back to us. I know that at this point I've

0:38:20.840 --> 0:38:25.680
<v Speaker 5>been really absorbed. If you've been nursing, You've been stimulated plenty,

0:38:25.800 --> 0:38:29.239
<v Speaker 5>very differently, but it creates a certain kind of saturation.

0:38:29.680 --> 0:38:31.840
<v Speaker 5>And what's important is not to tell the other person

0:38:32.000 --> 0:38:33.960
<v Speaker 5>now you want how come you think of this and

0:38:34.040 --> 0:38:36.719
<v Speaker 5>I'm so tired and I have nothing in me. Is

0:38:36.760 --> 0:38:41.280
<v Speaker 5>to actually say, I so need you. It's so important

0:38:41.280 --> 0:38:43.799
<v Speaker 5>for me that you continue to want me, even at

0:38:43.800 --> 0:38:46.160
<v Speaker 5>a time when I don't know that I want as much.

0:38:46.760 --> 0:38:49.279
<v Speaker 5>But it doesn't mean I don't want you. It just

0:38:49.360 --> 0:38:52.040
<v Speaker 5>means that I'm in the beginning of those few years

0:38:52.080 --> 0:38:54.960
<v Speaker 5>of it's basically till the second one is about two

0:38:55.080 --> 0:38:57.600
<v Speaker 5>or three. And then if every once on occasion you

0:38:57.680 --> 0:38:59.840
<v Speaker 5>say I'm not in the mood, but can I please,

0:38:59.880 --> 0:39:03.920
<v Speaker 5>you be giving because it makes the other person feel like,

0:39:04.239 --> 0:39:07.880
<v Speaker 5>you know, the experience of being generous hasn't disappeared. The

0:39:07.920 --> 0:39:12.000
<v Speaker 5>fact that you have less desire is temporary. It's a transition,

0:39:12.120 --> 0:39:14.799
<v Speaker 5>and it's exactly the states that you are in, and

0:39:14.960 --> 0:39:19.000
<v Speaker 5>these things are what preserves the couple during those few

0:39:19.400 --> 0:39:21.600
<v Speaker 5>more fragile years.

0:39:22.440 --> 0:39:25.240
<v Speaker 7>Now, interviewing our next guest was one of my personal

0:39:25.280 --> 0:39:27.040
<v Speaker 7>highlights for the year. It was actually while Britt was

0:39:27.080 --> 0:39:28.759
<v Speaker 7>away filming the challenge, so I got to sit in

0:39:28.880 --> 0:39:30.359
<v Speaker 7>on this episode and to give you.

0:39:30.320 --> 0:39:32.040
<v Speaker 4>Guys a little bit of a behind the scenes look

0:39:32.040 --> 0:39:32.520
<v Speaker 4>at this one.

0:39:32.719 --> 0:39:34.600
<v Speaker 7>I actually have a background in medical science, so I

0:39:34.640 --> 0:39:36.719
<v Speaker 7>worked as a researcher before I got into media and.

0:39:36.680 --> 0:39:38.560
<v Speaker 4>Eventually joined the Life on Cut team.

0:39:38.840 --> 0:39:42.640
<v Speaker 7>And Johann Hari was someone that I met initially through

0:39:42.680 --> 0:39:45.520
<v Speaker 7>the Internet about five years ago, and that was because

0:39:45.560 --> 0:39:48.600
<v Speaker 7>we had a research topic in common. For this interview,

0:39:48.600 --> 0:39:50.040
<v Speaker 7>it was the first time that we ever got to

0:39:50.080 --> 0:39:52.360
<v Speaker 7>meet in person, So it was like a real special

0:39:52.400 --> 0:39:54.920
<v Speaker 7>moment for me personally, and I just loved that we

0:39:55.000 --> 0:39:58.680
<v Speaker 7>got to share his wisdom and his knowledge because he

0:39:58.880 --> 0:40:01.680
<v Speaker 7>is just He's just on a whole other level of

0:40:01.719 --> 0:40:04.120
<v Speaker 7>the way that he explains these things that he goes

0:40:04.120 --> 0:40:07.200
<v Speaker 7>into such in depth research about. So in this episode

0:40:07.239 --> 0:40:09.640
<v Speaker 7>we spoke about our Lost Connections, which just so happens

0:40:09.640 --> 0:40:11.160
<v Speaker 7>to be one of the titles of these books, as

0:40:11.160 --> 0:40:15.120
<v Speaker 7>well Hindy's latest research, why we Can't pay Attention Now.

0:40:15.120 --> 0:40:17.640
<v Speaker 7>This particular snippet I thought was really relevant to all

0:40:17.680 --> 0:40:19.600
<v Speaker 7>of us because a lot of us have social media

0:40:19.680 --> 0:40:22.360
<v Speaker 7>and we probably aren't aware of how the algorithms work

0:40:22.560 --> 0:40:23.359
<v Speaker 7>in all of our apps.

0:40:23.440 --> 0:40:24.440
<v Speaker 4>I certainly know that I'm not.

0:40:25.120 --> 0:40:26.879
<v Speaker 7>We spoke at length about how we feel a sense

0:40:26.920 --> 0:40:31.000
<v Speaker 7>of validation from engagement, but also how algorithms targeted a

0:40:31.040 --> 0:40:32.680
<v Speaker 7>particular type of engagement.

0:40:32.719 --> 0:40:34.200
<v Speaker 4>And this is what he had to say.

0:40:35.280 --> 0:40:38.560
<v Speaker 14>The design of the machinery is driven by just one idea,

0:40:38.600 --> 0:40:40.200
<v Speaker 14>which is, how do we get people to scroll longer

0:40:40.239 --> 0:40:42.239
<v Speaker 14>and longer and longer. Right, So the algorithms, all the

0:40:42.239 --> 0:40:44.800
<v Speaker 14>computers are set up to figure out, okay, track everything

0:40:44.880 --> 0:40:47.719
<v Speaker 14>and figure out what it is that keeps people scrolling right,

0:40:47.920 --> 0:40:50.840
<v Speaker 14>and those algorithms, this wasn't anyone's fault. They didn't design

0:40:50.920 --> 0:40:54.040
<v Speaker 14>it that way, but they just stumbled across an underlying

0:40:54.160 --> 0:40:57.399
<v Speaker 14>truth about human psychology. Right. The kind of fancy term

0:40:57.400 --> 0:40:59.560
<v Speaker 14>for it is negativity bias. But it's very simple. Everyone

0:40:59.600 --> 0:41:02.799
<v Speaker 14>will have been experienced it. You will stare longer at

0:41:02.840 --> 0:41:06.120
<v Speaker 14>something that makes you angry or upset then you will

0:41:06.200 --> 0:41:08.600
<v Speaker 14>at something that makes you feel good. If you've ever

0:41:08.600 --> 0:41:10.399
<v Speaker 14>seen a car crash, you know exactly what I mean. Right,

0:41:10.440 --> 0:41:12.319
<v Speaker 14>you stared longer at the mangled car wreck than you

0:41:12.320 --> 0:41:13.520
<v Speaker 14>did at the pretty flowers.

0:41:13.680 --> 0:41:14.359
<v Speaker 3>We said this about.

0:41:14.400 --> 0:41:16.760
<v Speaker 2>You know, you could receive one hundred good comments on something,

0:41:16.840 --> 0:41:19.719
<v Speaker 2>or even five nice comments on something, they will not

0:41:19.880 --> 0:41:22.480
<v Speaker 2>even reach you. But if you receive one thing that

0:41:22.840 --> 0:41:25.839
<v Speaker 2>hurts you, that makes you feel invalidated or question your

0:41:25.880 --> 0:41:30.120
<v Speaker 2>sense of self, that will rock you. Whereas the compliments,

0:41:30.120 --> 0:41:32.960
<v Speaker 2>the niceties, everything else, it's as though they don't even

0:41:33.000 --> 0:41:34.879
<v Speaker 2>exist because we can be so negatively good.

0:41:35.120 --> 0:41:38.000
<v Speaker 14>That's a really powerful example of negativity bias, and it's

0:41:38.080 --> 0:41:40.600
<v Speaker 14>very deep in human nature. Problem is when you combine

0:41:40.640 --> 0:41:43.960
<v Speaker 14>two things, a business model designed to figure out what

0:41:44.040 --> 0:41:47.480
<v Speaker 14>keeps you scrolling plus negativity bias. Right, So, what these

0:41:47.520 --> 0:41:50.120
<v Speaker 14>algorithms discovered is best way to explain It's. Picture two

0:41:50.160 --> 0:41:52.359
<v Speaker 14>teenage girls who go to the same party and go

0:41:52.440 --> 0:41:54.680
<v Speaker 14>home on the same bus, and one of them does

0:41:54.719 --> 0:41:58.520
<v Speaker 14>a little video for TikTok status update whatever, and they say,

0:41:58.520 --> 0:42:00.720
<v Speaker 14>what a nice party, I had a great time. Everyone

0:42:00.760 --> 0:42:03.520
<v Speaker 14>look good. Well, you know we dance this or that whatever, Right,

0:42:04.000 --> 0:42:06.760
<v Speaker 14>And the second girl does a video or an update

0:42:06.760 --> 0:42:10.200
<v Speaker 14>where she goes, Karen was a right skank at that party.

0:42:10.239 --> 0:42:13.359
<v Speaker 14>Her boyfriend's an asshole. Doesn't angry? Imagine that girl does

0:42:13.400 --> 0:42:17.360
<v Speaker 14>an angry denunciatory rant, right, So the algorithm is scanning

0:42:17.600 --> 0:42:20.120
<v Speaker 14>to look at the kind of words you use, and

0:42:20.160 --> 0:42:22.640
<v Speaker 14>it will put that nice video. That nice data is

0:42:22.680 --> 0:42:25.520
<v Speaker 14>update into a few people's feeds, right, But the second

0:42:25.600 --> 0:42:28.120
<v Speaker 14>update it will put into far more people's feeds because

0:42:28.160 --> 0:42:30.279
<v Speaker 14>it knows if you see something angry and what do

0:42:30.360 --> 0:42:32.279
<v Speaker 14>you mean, Karen's a scank, You're a fucking scan. You

0:42:32.320 --> 0:42:34.680
<v Speaker 14>can see how that triggers an argument that causes engagement.

0:42:34.760 --> 0:42:34.960
<v Speaker 1>Right.

0:42:35.000 --> 0:42:37.000
<v Speaker 2>I fucking love this because we see this and we've

0:42:37.040 --> 0:42:40.399
<v Speaker 2>had this conversation internally. In regards to influencers, I think

0:42:40.520 --> 0:42:44.920
<v Speaker 2>a lot of influencers engage outrage culture. They get really angry,

0:42:44.920 --> 0:42:47.160
<v Speaker 2>and often it's around things that you should be angry about,

0:42:47.440 --> 0:42:50.400
<v Speaker 2>but they will verbalize how angry they are as a

0:42:50.400 --> 0:42:53.320
<v Speaker 2>way of growing their following because it is a really

0:42:53.360 --> 0:42:58.360
<v Speaker 2>fucking great tactic. People love to see someone angry and

0:42:58.440 --> 0:43:01.560
<v Speaker 2>outraged about an injustice, and we are so much more

0:43:01.600 --> 0:43:03.440
<v Speaker 2>willing to follow that, to get on board with that.

0:43:03.520 --> 0:43:04.759
<v Speaker 3>It is a crusade.

0:43:04.800 --> 0:43:07.759
<v Speaker 2>It is a plight rather than following someone who you

0:43:07.760 --> 0:43:10.440
<v Speaker 2>know is just happy. Not that we need to be

0:43:10.440 --> 0:43:12.399
<v Speaker 2>happy all the time or positive, That's not what I'm saying.

0:43:12.440 --> 0:43:14.799
<v Speaker 2>But it is a tool, and I don't think people

0:43:14.880 --> 0:43:17.080
<v Speaker 2>are aware that it's actually a tool that some people

0:43:17.160 --> 0:43:18.960
<v Speaker 2>and influencers have clopped into as well.

0:43:19.160 --> 0:43:22.279
<v Speaker 14>Those influencers are consciously or unconsciously learning the rules of

0:43:22.280 --> 0:43:24.520
<v Speaker 14>the system they're operating in rightly. So just like the

0:43:24.520 --> 0:43:26.520
<v Speaker 14>teenage girls on the bus, an influence is going to

0:43:26.560 --> 0:43:28.520
<v Speaker 14>clock if I do all these nice posts. If I say, oh, look,

0:43:28.520 --> 0:43:31.080
<v Speaker 14>I read this nice book and wasn't it lovely? You know,

0:43:31.120 --> 0:43:32.600
<v Speaker 14>you're not going to get much traction if you go

0:43:32.880 --> 0:43:35.239
<v Speaker 14>have you seen what this bitch did? Right, It's going

0:43:35.320 --> 0:43:37.120
<v Speaker 14>to get a lot of traction. So I feel it

0:43:37.120 --> 0:43:39.359
<v Speaker 14>happening to myself. I don't look at social media now,

0:43:39.480 --> 0:43:41.120
<v Speaker 14>I've got an assistant. I give my tweets to do.

0:43:41.480 --> 0:43:46.040
<v Speaker 14>It sounds very grand because I feel myself becoming cruder

0:43:46.160 --> 0:43:49.080
<v Speaker 14>and nastier when I'm on it, because you see, oh,

0:43:49.120 --> 0:43:51.080
<v Speaker 14>I said this nice thing, and it looked like hardly

0:43:51.120 --> 0:43:54.040
<v Speaker 14>anyone noticed, and I said this nasty thing, and look

0:43:54.120 --> 0:43:56.480
<v Speaker 14>now people are talking about me. There's some degree to

0:43:56.520 --> 0:43:59.520
<v Speaker 14>which this is just human psychology. But we're operating in

0:43:59.560 --> 0:44:03.239
<v Speaker 14>a machine. It's super charging the worst of our psychology, right,

0:44:03.520 --> 0:44:06.359
<v Speaker 14>and that doesn't have to happen. We can't change the

0:44:06.520 --> 0:44:09.160
<v Speaker 14>negativity bias. That's just a natural part of human psychology.

0:44:09.280 --> 0:44:13.520
<v Speaker 14>But we can stop the machines fucking jabbing a knitting

0:44:13.520 --> 0:44:17.000
<v Speaker 14>needle that are at our negativity bias all the time. Right,

0:44:17.200 --> 0:44:19.120
<v Speaker 14>So if we change the business model and the way

0:44:19.160 --> 0:44:21.600
<v Speaker 14>we've talked about, you get out of that trap.

0:44:21.680 --> 0:44:21.799
<v Speaker 15>Right.

0:44:21.840 --> 0:44:25.000
<v Speaker 14>In a subscription model then want to make you angry something,

0:44:25.040 --> 0:44:27.200
<v Speaker 14>They're like, oh, you want to feel good, Let's start

0:44:27.239 --> 0:44:29.880
<v Speaker 14>giving her feedback where she feels good, not feedback that

0:44:29.920 --> 0:44:31.759
<v Speaker 14>makes it angry, upset, and hostile. Right.

0:44:31.840 --> 0:44:32.040
<v Speaker 9>See.

0:44:32.080 --> 0:44:34.240
<v Speaker 7>I also think that there's like a whole other elements

0:44:34.239 --> 0:44:35.960
<v Speaker 7>to this, And Johanna, I know that this is something

0:44:36.040 --> 0:44:38.920
<v Speaker 7>that you are extremely well researched in, and that is

0:44:38.960 --> 0:44:40.800
<v Speaker 7>our brains and the way that they work in a

0:44:40.840 --> 0:44:43.600
<v Speaker 7>similar way to how drug addiction works with social media.

0:44:44.160 --> 0:44:46.440
<v Speaker 7>You know, we now have so much research that shows

0:44:46.520 --> 0:44:49.120
<v Speaker 7>us that when we post something on social media that

0:44:49.160 --> 0:44:51.960
<v Speaker 7>gets likes and gets comments and gets any type of interaction,

0:44:52.640 --> 0:44:54.880
<v Speaker 7>we get a release of dopamine in our brains. And

0:44:54.880 --> 0:44:56.680
<v Speaker 7>that's the same thing that goes up when you take

0:44:56.719 --> 0:45:00.200
<v Speaker 7>just about any illegal drug. And so not only we

0:45:00.200 --> 0:45:03.840
<v Speaker 7>have these massive tech companies that have designed these algorithms

0:45:03.880 --> 0:45:07.720
<v Speaker 7>to keep us scrolling and keep us engaged, we also

0:45:07.840 --> 0:45:10.440
<v Speaker 7>have our own brains that are being programmed and kind

0:45:10.440 --> 0:45:14.080
<v Speaker 7>of rewired that every time we post something that might

0:45:14.160 --> 0:45:17.440
<v Speaker 7>create you know, outrage culture as we're talking about, we

0:45:17.560 --> 0:45:19.640
<v Speaker 7>get more interaction and so we get more of that

0:45:19.719 --> 0:45:22.400
<v Speaker 7>dopamine being released into our own brains. So it's kind

0:45:22.440 --> 0:45:24.440
<v Speaker 7>of like a storm in a tea cup of all

0:45:24.480 --> 0:45:26.880
<v Speaker 7>of these different factors with how our brains are working

0:45:26.880 --> 0:45:28.200
<v Speaker 7>in terms of social media.

0:45:28.280 --> 0:45:31.680
<v Speaker 2>It's interesting though, the irony in that which I find

0:45:31.840 --> 0:45:34.000
<v Speaker 2>is that all of that comes down to this want

0:45:34.040 --> 0:45:36.360
<v Speaker 2>for connectedness, that this want for like being part of

0:45:36.360 --> 0:45:39.360
<v Speaker 2>a community, to feel validated, to be liked by your friends.

0:45:39.400 --> 0:45:42.080
<v Speaker 3>You know. A lot of that is what it's geared around.

0:45:42.160 --> 0:45:45.640
<v Speaker 2>It's still feeling like you're part of a community, but

0:45:45.719 --> 0:45:47.640
<v Speaker 2>we almost are lacking connection because of it at the

0:45:47.680 --> 0:45:48.280
<v Speaker 2>same time.

0:45:48.920 --> 0:45:51.680
<v Speaker 7>Coming up next in a Year in Review, This particular

0:45:51.719 --> 0:45:54.400
<v Speaker 7>episode was actually a bit of a brain baby of Lauras.

0:45:54.520 --> 0:45:58.040
<v Speaker 7>She wanted to do this episode for years and years

0:45:58.040 --> 0:46:00.719
<v Speaker 7>and years, I think, probably from the inception of the podcast,

0:46:00.760 --> 0:46:03.120
<v Speaker 7>and it was all because it kind of struck a

0:46:03.160 --> 0:46:06.280
<v Speaker 7>chord with her. Like her relationship with alcohol during her twenties,

0:46:06.680 --> 0:46:08.480
<v Speaker 7>she has some pretty complex feelings about it.

0:46:09.000 --> 0:46:10.960
<v Speaker 4>So for this whole episode, we were actually.

0:46:10.719 --> 0:46:14.279
<v Speaker 7>Joined by Eleanor Susier and Danny Carr, and it was

0:46:14.320 --> 0:46:16.719
<v Speaker 7>all about the choice to go sober from alcohol.

0:46:16.880 --> 0:46:19.839
<v Speaker 4>So for this particular highlight segment, we are chatting with

0:46:19.880 --> 0:46:21.759
<v Speaker 4>Eleanor Solzier, and I think it.

0:46:21.719 --> 0:46:24.840
<v Speaker 7>Was interesting for me as someone who like I wouldn't

0:46:24.840 --> 0:46:26.399
<v Speaker 7>personally identify myself as.

0:46:26.320 --> 0:46:28.400
<v Speaker 4>Having a problem with alcohol, So it was really interesting

0:46:28.440 --> 0:46:29.080
<v Speaker 4>to hear.

0:46:29.160 --> 0:46:32.960
<v Speaker 7>From the perspectives of people that experience things like blackout

0:46:33.200 --> 0:46:35.720
<v Speaker 7>or you know, their behavior changes when they get drunk,

0:46:35.800 --> 0:46:37.560
<v Speaker 7>or maybe their character.

0:46:37.239 --> 0:46:39.320
<v Speaker 4>Changes and they do things that they're embarrassed about.

0:46:39.360 --> 0:46:42.400
<v Speaker 7>And I guess one thing that I had thought people

0:46:42.440 --> 0:46:45.799
<v Speaker 7>who tend to go sober it's because they had done

0:46:45.840 --> 0:46:49.080
<v Speaker 7>something so catastrophically bad or like the life had just

0:46:49.160 --> 0:46:51.200
<v Speaker 7>hit rock bottom and that's why they needed to turn

0:46:51.239 --> 0:46:54.359
<v Speaker 7>things around. And this particular episode really taught me that

0:46:54.360 --> 0:46:55.200
<v Speaker 7>that wasn't the case.

0:46:56.080 --> 0:46:58.440
<v Speaker 12>It never really sat right with me, like this is

0:46:58.520 --> 0:47:02.360
<v Speaker 12>quite a hectic example, but like I look, I never drank.

0:47:02.440 --> 0:47:04.040
<v Speaker 12>I never wanted to be because I think there's this

0:47:04.080 --> 0:47:07.440
<v Speaker 12>whole rhetoric and story around people that stopped drinking, and

0:47:07.440 --> 0:47:09.960
<v Speaker 12>it's like, oh, my god, why, like what happened in

0:47:09.960 --> 0:47:11.799
<v Speaker 12>your life that forced you, like as if I had

0:47:11.800 --> 0:47:14.560
<v Speaker 12>to hit rock bottom for me to stop drinking, where

0:47:14.560 --> 0:47:16.920
<v Speaker 12>it really wasn't that way. It was just that like

0:47:17.200 --> 0:47:19.680
<v Speaker 12>I would go out and maybe once a month I

0:47:19.719 --> 0:47:23.280
<v Speaker 12>would totally have like this four hour period that something happened,

0:47:23.560 --> 0:47:25.600
<v Speaker 12>and sometimes I would do something that was really crazy

0:47:25.640 --> 0:47:28.440
<v Speaker 12>and I'd have no idea until someone kind of like

0:47:28.520 --> 0:47:30.480
<v Speaker 12>jogged my memory and would be like, no, this happened,

0:47:30.480 --> 0:47:31.040
<v Speaker 12>and I'd be.

0:47:31.000 --> 0:47:33.719
<v Speaker 9>Like, but how like that's not me.

0:47:34.480 --> 0:47:35.960
<v Speaker 12>Some of my friends make a joke about it, but

0:47:36.000 --> 0:47:37.560
<v Speaker 12>I'm like, it's actually quite a scary thing. It's like

0:47:37.560 --> 0:47:40.520
<v Speaker 12>an alter ego, and I have friends that would be like, yeah,

0:47:40.600 --> 0:47:43.360
<v Speaker 12>my alter ego comes out and I'm like cool, Sometimes

0:47:43.400 --> 0:47:47.000
<v Speaker 12>she's fun, but sometimes she's really destructive, and it's actually

0:47:47.120 --> 0:47:50.799
<v Speaker 12>quite scary. So like the times that I realized how

0:47:50.840 --> 0:47:54.040
<v Speaker 12>detrimental it was was when someone was holding me accountable.

0:47:54.120 --> 0:47:56.480
<v Speaker 12>So when I was single, I would go out have

0:47:56.520 --> 0:47:59.080
<v Speaker 12>a big night. In my mind, it was a fun

0:47:59.160 --> 0:48:01.319
<v Speaker 12>night and I didn't have anyone the next morning to

0:48:01.320 --> 0:48:03.680
<v Speaker 12>say to me, look, you did or said this thing

0:48:03.719 --> 0:48:06.960
<v Speaker 12>that was really unacceptable. But when I was being held accountable.

0:48:07.000 --> 0:48:09.399
<v Speaker 12>When I was in relationships, I would say probably every

0:48:09.440 --> 0:48:11.400
<v Speaker 12>single boyfriend of mine was like, you got a bit

0:48:11.440 --> 0:48:13.680
<v Speaker 12>weird last night, or you said something really horrible, or

0:48:13.719 --> 0:48:16.600
<v Speaker 12>you were really flirty with someone else, or you just

0:48:16.719 --> 0:48:19.960
<v Speaker 12>did something that was so out of character, and the

0:48:20.080 --> 0:48:21.960
<v Speaker 12>regret and the shame I would feel from it because

0:48:21.960 --> 0:48:23.160
<v Speaker 12>I'd be like, but I.

0:48:23.080 --> 0:48:24.560
<v Speaker 9>Wasn't, like I wasn't there.

0:48:24.400 --> 0:48:27.920
<v Speaker 12>Like I physically was it, Like I'm I can't believe

0:48:27.960 --> 0:48:31.600
<v Speaker 12>that that's me, And obviously the scar is there, like

0:48:31.680 --> 0:48:34.880
<v Speaker 12>I've heard that person, and they're going to start thinking like, well,

0:48:35.120 --> 0:48:36.719
<v Speaker 12>how often are you going to use this excuse of

0:48:36.880 --> 0:48:38.840
<v Speaker 12>you blacked out so you said something horrible, or you

0:48:38.880 --> 0:48:41.919
<v Speaker 12>blacked out you're flirting with someone else, And also how

0:48:41.960 --> 0:48:44.200
<v Speaker 12>far can that go? Like I've slept with people and

0:48:44.320 --> 0:48:46.560
<v Speaker 12>had absolutely no idea that I slept with them, and

0:48:46.600 --> 0:48:47.920
<v Speaker 12>they would come back to me the next day and

0:48:48.000 --> 0:48:49.960
<v Speaker 12>be like you came over and you slept with me

0:48:50.040 --> 0:48:54.560
<v Speaker 12>three times and you were totally lucid, And I'm like, what.

0:48:55.200 --> 0:48:57.120
<v Speaker 3>Oh, that's a scary thought, isn't it.

0:48:57.320 --> 0:48:58.440
<v Speaker 9>I gets terrifying.

0:48:58.440 --> 0:49:00.319
<v Speaker 12>So I started getting to the point of especial my

0:49:00.360 --> 0:49:03.160
<v Speaker 12>relationships and especially with Tom when I was like, I

0:49:03.200 --> 0:49:05.920
<v Speaker 12>think this is the love of my life. And I

0:49:06.000 --> 0:49:09.000
<v Speaker 12>was sort of doing these things very rarely but still

0:49:09.040 --> 0:49:10.799
<v Speaker 12>doing them. But I was like, imagine if I went

0:49:10.840 --> 0:49:13.600
<v Speaker 12>out and slept with someone else, black out drunk whilst

0:49:13.640 --> 0:49:16.080
<v Speaker 12>I'm dating this man that I love so much, and

0:49:16.160 --> 0:49:19.440
<v Speaker 12>I know it's within my capabilities because who knows, like

0:49:19.719 --> 0:49:20.720
<v Speaker 12>I could do that.

0:49:21.640 --> 0:49:24.279
<v Speaker 4>Last up for our year in review. I know it's

0:49:24.360 --> 0:49:25.439
<v Speaker 4>getting to the end of it.

0:49:25.680 --> 0:49:29.359
<v Speaker 7>But one of our favorite things about the podcast for sure,

0:49:29.760 --> 0:49:31.319
<v Speaker 7>like we say it as a joke every week, but

0:49:31.360 --> 0:49:34.040
<v Speaker 7>we always say it's time for our favorite segment accidentally Unfiltered.

0:49:34.040 --> 0:49:37.200
<v Speaker 7>But it's because it is so funny, and there's just

0:49:37.239 --> 0:49:40.799
<v Speaker 7>something so relatable about other people doing dumb shit that

0:49:40.840 --> 0:49:41.920
<v Speaker 7>embarrasses themselves.

0:49:41.920 --> 0:49:43.800
<v Speaker 4>It definitely makes me feel better about myself.

0:49:44.440 --> 0:49:47.880
<v Speaker 7>So we decided to do an entire episode a standout

0:49:47.880 --> 0:49:53.040
<v Speaker 7>bonus episode of your dating disaster stories. This particular one

0:49:53.520 --> 0:49:56.000
<v Speaker 7>is a bit of a compilation of the worst or

0:49:56.040 --> 0:49:56.440
<v Speaker 7>the best.

0:49:56.640 --> 0:49:58.840
<v Speaker 4>I don't know, dating disaster stories.

0:49:59.560 --> 0:50:02.160
<v Speaker 2>I met guy on Plenty of Fish. We were making

0:50:02.200 --> 0:50:04.040
<v Speaker 2>out in the back of his car and it was

0:50:04.120 --> 0:50:07.960
<v Speaker 2>getting really steamy. Now next minute he gets up and

0:50:08.040 --> 0:50:11.000
<v Speaker 2>says that he's really hungry and he needs food asap,

0:50:11.400 --> 0:50:13.200
<v Speaker 2>like literally in the middle of making out in the

0:50:13.239 --> 0:50:14.080
<v Speaker 2>back of his car.

0:50:14.000 --> 0:50:17.080
<v Speaker 3>He's like, I need food, hard work. Yeah, he's hungry,

0:50:17.239 --> 0:50:17.600
<v Speaker 3>all right.

0:50:18.400 --> 0:50:20.759
<v Speaker 2>So we're about twenty minutes away from anywhere, and he

0:50:20.840 --> 0:50:24.040
<v Speaker 2>insists that he follows me in his car. So not

0:50:24.080 --> 0:50:25.920
<v Speaker 2>only does the makeout stop, she has to get out

0:50:25.920 --> 0:50:29.080
<v Speaker 2>of his car get back into her car, and he says,

0:50:29.120 --> 0:50:31.279
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to follow you to this place where I'm

0:50:31.280 --> 0:50:32.120
<v Speaker 2>gonna pick some food up.

0:50:32.120 --> 0:50:34.359
<v Speaker 3>So she's driving and he is behind her.

0:50:34.560 --> 0:50:38.600
<v Speaker 2>Okay, halfway there, I notice he turns down a side street.

0:50:38.960 --> 0:50:41.759
<v Speaker 3>I pull over to call him. He had blocked me,

0:50:42.080 --> 0:50:45.400
<v Speaker 3>and I never ever heard for a few god.

0:50:49.440 --> 0:50:54.359
<v Speaker 1>So he was making out with her, got a hunger pain?

0:50:54.560 --> 0:50:56.400
<v Speaker 4>Or did he never know he did?

0:50:56.640 --> 0:50:57.720
<v Speaker 3>It was a made up homeway?

0:50:58.000 --> 0:51:00.759
<v Speaker 2>What an elaborate story to try and go Why would

0:51:00.800 --> 0:51:02.719
<v Speaker 2>have been just say I'm not feeling this, I'm not

0:51:02.800 --> 0:51:03.239
<v Speaker 2>vibing this.

0:51:03.480 --> 0:51:06.080
<v Speaker 1>What happened in that exact moment. If a few minutes

0:51:06.080 --> 0:51:08.600
<v Speaker 1>ago you were into the makeoud.

0:51:08.280 --> 0:51:10.640
<v Speaker 15>What has she done that has turned you off so

0:51:10.800 --> 0:51:12.560
<v Speaker 15>much that you were like, I need to abort this

0:51:12.640 --> 0:51:15.279
<v Speaker 15>mission and it's like a it's like an FBI chase,

0:51:15.360 --> 0:51:16.840
<v Speaker 15>Like he's like, I'm gonna turn down the street and

0:51:16.880 --> 0:51:18.279
<v Speaker 15>lose her and block her.

0:51:18.440 --> 0:51:21.040
<v Speaker 2>Also, they're completely uncomfortable because if you've gotten if you're

0:51:21.080 --> 0:51:23.520
<v Speaker 2>in someone's car, in the back of their car and

0:51:23.560 --> 0:51:25.880
<v Speaker 2>it is getting hot and steamy, but you want it

0:51:26.000 --> 0:51:28.560
<v Speaker 2>to stop and you want the person to get out

0:51:28.600 --> 0:51:31.440
<v Speaker 2>of your car, it's kind of an awkward situation to

0:51:31.480 --> 0:51:33.759
<v Speaker 2>be like, hey, I'm not vibing this, can you please go?

0:51:34.320 --> 0:51:36.960
<v Speaker 3>I fucking love that. I'm a bit hungry. Let's I'm

0:51:36.960 --> 0:51:37.600
<v Speaker 3>in a smoke bomb.

0:51:37.640 --> 0:51:39.480
<v Speaker 1>It's like on Bride's Maids, you know, when they're in

0:51:39.520 --> 0:51:41.839
<v Speaker 1>bed with she's in bed with a dickhead and he's like,

0:51:41.920 --> 0:51:43.600
<v Speaker 1>so I really want you to leave.

0:51:43.960 --> 0:51:48.200
<v Speaker 4>I don't want to see magann asshole. It's like exactly

0:51:48.280 --> 0:51:51.279
<v Speaker 4>that man. She's like, okay, I'll just go, and he's like, yeah,

0:51:51.560 --> 0:51:52.239
<v Speaker 4>I just love that.

0:51:52.360 --> 0:51:55.040
<v Speaker 2>Note like he obviously when he was driving, he'd obviously

0:51:55.080 --> 0:51:57.440
<v Speaker 2>it was so premeditated that he was blocking her on

0:51:57.520 --> 0:51:59.399
<v Speaker 2>things whilst he was following her in the car.

0:51:59.600 --> 0:52:00.920
<v Speaker 4>He was doing in an illegal maneuver.

0:52:01.000 --> 0:52:02.600
<v Speaker 3>He was on his phone, and then he was like,

0:52:02.600 --> 0:52:04.239
<v Speaker 3>now I can make my grand get away. What would

0:52:04.280 --> 0:52:05.200
<v Speaker 3>you do? What's your excuse?

0:52:05.239 --> 0:52:06.239
<v Speaker 9>You making out in the back seat?

0:52:06.280 --> 0:52:07.920
<v Speaker 1>Would you just be like, I'm done? Or would you

0:52:08.040 --> 0:52:10.440
<v Speaker 1>say I'm so hungry? Would you say what darrhea?

0:52:11.280 --> 0:52:13.879
<v Speaker 3>I'd just be like I'd just be like, my bowels loose?

0:52:14.080 --> 0:52:16.480
<v Speaker 3>I think I just know I'm going to say, excuse

0:52:16.520 --> 0:52:17.080
<v Speaker 3>me my bowels.

0:52:17.640 --> 0:52:19.680
<v Speaker 4>Magine how wrong? Yeah, imagine how it turned off.

0:52:19.680 --> 0:52:21.520
<v Speaker 3>You'd be If there's one way to lose someone is

0:52:21.560 --> 0:52:22.320
<v Speaker 3>to tell them you've.

0:52:22.160 --> 0:52:24.120
<v Speaker 2>Got loose bow I think I would just have to

0:52:24.160 --> 0:52:26.160
<v Speaker 2>say I'm not vibing it. I don't think I'm just

0:52:26.200 --> 0:52:28.840
<v Speaker 2>not that creative. That's like a level of creativity that

0:52:28.960 --> 0:52:31.080
<v Speaker 2>I don't have in my being. Okay, next one, I

0:52:31.120 --> 0:52:32.080
<v Speaker 2>was going on a first date.

0:52:32.120 --> 0:52:34.520
<v Speaker 1>We decided to go to a cafe for a coffee

0:52:34.560 --> 0:52:37.759
<v Speaker 1>and brunch. How much can go wrong? As my date

0:52:37.840 --> 0:52:40.520
<v Speaker 1>is arriving at the table, I can see him walking up.

0:52:40.560 --> 0:52:44.359
<v Speaker 1>He pulls out his Nokia phone. Now I get very

0:52:44.400 --> 0:52:47.600
<v Speaker 1>awkward at the best of times, but especially on first dates.

0:52:47.960 --> 0:52:49.000
<v Speaker 3>So he whips out this.

0:52:48.920 --> 0:52:51.520
<v Speaker 1>Brick of a Nokia, And honestly, who has a Nokia

0:52:51.560 --> 0:52:52.040
<v Speaker 1>these days?

0:52:52.080 --> 0:52:54.680
<v Speaker 3>Who has a nock? Here trying to make lighthearted joke.

0:52:54.880 --> 0:52:57.480
<v Speaker 1>I say, man, that has got to be the oldest.

0:52:57.080 --> 0:52:58.720
<v Speaker 4>Phone I have seen this decade.

0:52:58.840 --> 0:53:00.719
<v Speaker 1>I really dug into this about why he'd be using

0:53:00.719 --> 0:53:03.279
<v Speaker 1>such an old brick. I'm trying to break that friendly wall,

0:53:03.320 --> 0:53:05.960
<v Speaker 1>you know. I even went so far as to say

0:53:06.080 --> 0:53:08.440
<v Speaker 1>that phone just took you from an eight to a six.

0:53:08.680 --> 0:53:11.480
<v Speaker 4>Ha ha ha. I think I'm really funny.

0:53:11.880 --> 0:53:14.360
<v Speaker 1>Turns out people don't use knockies anymore.

0:53:14.440 --> 0:53:15.640
<v Speaker 4>It was his insulin pump.

0:53:15.960 --> 0:53:20.880
<v Speaker 3>Oh clah.

0:53:21.200 --> 0:53:24.320
<v Speaker 2>But I'm gonna make him feel self conscious about something

0:53:24.320 --> 0:53:25.320
<v Speaker 2>that he can't control.

0:53:25.400 --> 0:53:26.200
<v Speaker 4>He saving Grace.

0:53:26.200 --> 0:53:29.359
<v Speaker 1>They've been together two years, okay, right, so I think

0:53:29.400 --> 0:53:31.040
<v Speaker 1>that this is I think this is a cute time.

0:53:31.160 --> 0:53:33.600
<v Speaker 1>But the worst part, like, did you really have to

0:53:33.640 --> 0:53:35.560
<v Speaker 1>throw in there that the phone took you from an

0:53:35.560 --> 0:53:37.600
<v Speaker 1>eight to a six? Like that was the real because

0:53:38.239 --> 0:53:40.200
<v Speaker 1>the pumps on you, you're that is part of you.

0:53:40.239 --> 0:53:42.760
<v Speaker 1>But also, like everyone likes a little bit of not everyone,

0:53:42.800 --> 0:53:44.560
<v Speaker 1>but a lot of people enjoy a bit of riffing.

0:53:44.680 --> 0:53:47.799
<v Speaker 2>Bit of riffing early on in a relationship, not not like,

0:53:47.960 --> 0:53:50.080
<v Speaker 2>you know, straight up insulting each other's a bit of

0:53:50.080 --> 0:53:51.759
<v Speaker 2>a riff. She thought she was hilarious. She's like, I'm

0:53:51.760 --> 0:53:54.400
<v Speaker 2>looking this down, I'm funny. I'm gonna make this really lighthearted,

0:53:54.520 --> 0:53:56.600
<v Speaker 2>and then the poor guy but they've been down two.

0:53:56.520 --> 0:53:57.319
<v Speaker 4>Years, so this is great.

0:53:58.160 --> 0:54:01.120
<v Speaker 7>Well, that is it for your rearing, your view of

0:54:01.239 --> 0:54:04.200
<v Speaker 7>twenty twenty two. I hope that you really enjoyed that episode.

0:54:04.239 --> 0:54:06.719
<v Speaker 7>I really enjoyed making that episode. Actually, just getting to

0:54:06.760 --> 0:54:10.480
<v Speaker 7>go back and listen through those particular highlight moments was Yeah,

0:54:10.520 --> 0:54:11.000
<v Speaker 7>it was cool.

0:54:11.120 --> 0:54:12.560
<v Speaker 4>It made me have a lot of laughs and made

0:54:12.560 --> 0:54:13.759
<v Speaker 4>me think about things, and.

0:54:13.719 --> 0:54:16.160
<v Speaker 7>It just made me remember how lucky we are to

0:54:16.200 --> 0:54:18.040
<v Speaker 7>have such great guests on the podcast.

0:54:18.600 --> 0:54:20.440
<v Speaker 4>Hope you all have a wonderful New Years.

0:54:20.320 --> 0:54:23.239
<v Speaker 7>And we will be back in January. I'm not going

0:54:23.280 --> 0:54:25.120
<v Speaker 7>to give you an exact date because Laura and Britt

0:54:25.120 --> 0:54:27.799
<v Speaker 7>have this horrible habit of like saying we're not going

0:54:27.840 --> 0:54:29.640
<v Speaker 7>to drop any episodes, and then all of a sudden,

0:54:29.680 --> 0:54:31.520
<v Speaker 7>I get a text message that like, oh, I'm going

0:54:31.560 --> 0:54:34.400
<v Speaker 7>to do a bonus episode. But I'm fairly certain there

0:54:34.400 --> 0:54:37.480
<v Speaker 7>won't be any episodes until the end of January.

0:54:38.000 --> 0:54:39.239
<v Speaker 4>And I can tell you that the.

0:54:39.280 --> 0:54:42.520
<v Speaker 7>Guests that are lined up for the start of next

0:54:42.600 --> 0:54:46.320
<v Speaker 7>year are absolutely killer. I think You're really gonna enjoy

0:54:46.400 --> 0:54:48.960
<v Speaker 7>a lot of them, so I'm really looking forward to that.

0:54:49.040 --> 0:54:50.040
<v Speaker 4>I hope you are as well.

0:54:50.080 --> 0:54:51.759
<v Speaker 7>And yeah, like I said, have a great New Year

0:54:51.840 --> 0:54:53.520
<v Speaker 7>and we'll see you back in twenty twenty three.

0:54:54.800 --> 0:54:55.680
<v Speaker 3>Oh I nearly forgot.

0:54:55.800 --> 0:54:57.720
<v Speaker 7>Oh my god, how could I sign off on podcast

0:54:57.760 --> 0:54:59.839
<v Speaker 7>episode laugh About without this? Tell you until your dad,

0:55:00.040 --> 0:55:02.400
<v Speaker 7>you don't tell your friends, and share the love because

0:55:02.880 --> 0:55:20.240
<v Speaker 7>we love love