WEBVTT - Froomes Is A Linkedinfluencer 📱 0:00:00.760 --> 0:00:03.840 The Flex and Rooms Daily Podcast. 0:00:06.040 --> 0:00:10.000 Hello munchkins, It's Flex and Frooms on the catch Up podcast. 0:00:10.080 --> 0:00:12.039 As you know, this is a daily podcast. I hope 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:14.320 you've been enjoying it. We've been getting some nice dms 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:16.400 and the podcast ratings. I want to show you a 0:00:16.440 --> 0:00:19.400 bit what goes within the sausage in the sausage factory. 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:22.200 They're looking good, so thank you for putting your little 0:00:22.200 --> 0:00:25.040 thumbs behind us and yeating us up towards the top. 0:00:25.120 --> 0:00:27.200 It's totally a sleigh hot and sexy. 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:29.920 Today we're going to be talking about a story. We're 0:00:29.960 --> 0:00:32.800 wondering if it's the most romantic thing ever or if 0:00:32.840 --> 0:00:36.239 it's the most night marrish thing ever. We talk about romance. 0:00:36.560 --> 0:00:37.920 I think we try to get to the bottom of 0:00:37.920 --> 0:00:38.400 what romance. 0:00:38.440 --> 0:00:41.239 We talk about romance ever, I think we talk about dating. Yeah, 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:45.760 we did. The whole thing was about rong generally. Oh no, no, no, no. 0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:50.480 This segment we're talking about romance flex and I disagree. Yeah, 0:00:50.520 --> 0:00:52.240 I'll put it that way, I think. 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:53.200 But it's good. 0:00:53.880 --> 0:01:00.400 Oh yeah, totally, I say, while I'm fighting back tears. 0:01:00.680 --> 0:01:05.240 As I'm pummeling through, I'm like, romance is everything. 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:07.440 Look, we don't really say, eye to eye, there is 0:01:07.520 --> 0:01:10.360 some conversation around trauma that I don't agree with. Yeah, 0:01:10.360 --> 0:01:12.000 I think we're going to have to circle back and 0:01:12.040 --> 0:01:12.920 talk about this later. 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:15.440 Well, I think it's cool because we've never actually talked 0:01:15.440 --> 0:01:18.280 about romance before. You've talked about dating. And I think 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:22.320 that dating is a destinational tool. Where you want to 0:01:22.360 --> 0:01:24.839 take it is up to you. But I think people 0:01:24.880 --> 0:01:27.560 often forget what they're doing it for. Similar to what 0:01:27.560 --> 0:01:29.520 I was saying that people think that feminism is an 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:32.560 identity and not a destination, Like, we are looking to 0:01:32.680 --> 0:01:35.120 change the world, and this is the ideology we're using 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:38.040 as a guideline to get us there, not just so 0:01:38.080 --> 0:01:40.480 you say you're a feminist? Now what is that like? 0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:41.039 For? 0:01:41.080 --> 0:01:45.080 What you know? So similar to dating, there's so much 0:01:45.160 --> 0:01:49.040 discourse on it. The Internet is saturated with it. And 0:01:49.080 --> 0:01:49.320 for what? 0:01:50.320 --> 0:01:50.440 Like? 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:52.840 What are you working towards? What is the plan? Why 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:58.080 would you endure so many of potentially troubling scenarios, dangerous scenarios, 0:01:58.200 --> 0:02:02.080 unsafe scenarios or like joy full scenarios, temporary scenarios? What 0:02:02.240 --> 0:02:05.040 is it for? Personally? For me, it's stories. 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:08.880 I already have enough, and you have some great stories. 0:02:09.240 --> 0:02:10.880 I do I do, I do, what to do? Okay, 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:13.880 let's let's get to it. Tell me what you hold on? 0:02:13.919 --> 0:02:15.680 Hold on, hold on before we get to it. I 0:02:15.720 --> 0:02:19.359 think in future we'll have to talk about the differentiation 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:24.280 between dating, love, romance, intimacy. I would love that. I 0:02:24.320 --> 0:02:26.720 say romance. You said love. This is not the same 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:30.840 to me. I know. Okay, I'm gonna. 0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:34.360 I'm going to grab a pen right now and put 0:02:34.360 --> 0:02:37.359 this in the diary to talk about next week. Okay, 0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:39.960 just saying it. Sometimes we say, oh my god, I've 0:02:39.960 --> 0:02:43.440 got to talk about forget about it. But we will 0:02:43.560 --> 0:02:44.440 circle back to this. 0:02:44.960 --> 0:02:47.160 Let's get it about it. 0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:50.480 What are you gonna do? Flick and a. 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:53.720 Couple of shows ago, I asked for me if she 0:02:54.160 --> 0:02:57.920 distinguished between people being nice, kind, or good, and that 0:02:58.000 --> 0:03:01.079 started some really great discourse on the internet. We're still 0:03:01.400 --> 0:03:04.120 inconclusive about what those things mean and if they even matter, 0:03:04.160 --> 0:03:07.040 but objectively speaking, they're all positive things to be called. 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:09.720 I haven't stopped thinking about it as well, because what 0:03:09.880 --> 0:03:12.200 came out of that conversation is that people think that 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:16.160 being nice is insincere, and that it is a product 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:20.680 of social norms and respectability politics, where you are more 0:03:20.720 --> 0:03:24.280 concerned with how you're perceived and manipulating the situation than 0:03:24.520 --> 0:03:27.480 being yourself right, And so I was thinking, if we're 0:03:27.520 --> 0:03:29.400 choosing nice kind of good, we both said that we 0:03:29.440 --> 0:03:32.040 would be perceived as nice and not kind or good. 0:03:32.440 --> 0:03:34.000 But I would say, like, I make it a point 0:03:34.040 --> 0:03:37.040 to be uncomfortably myself to a point where I'm like, 0:03:37.080 --> 0:03:39.040 we're all gonna get with it. Like, if there's an issue, 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:41.320 I'm addressing it. If there's conflict, we have to have it. 0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:43.160 If I'm upset with you, I'm gonna let you know. 0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:45.600 But I don't think that takes away from me being nice, 0:03:45.640 --> 0:03:47.800 Like it's very sincere approached me to have. But I 0:03:47.840 --> 0:03:52.000 was thinking about in situations where respectability has trumped or 0:03:52.080 --> 0:03:55.560 like politeness has like trumped my ability to just have 0:03:55.640 --> 0:03:59.280 my most honest response. For example, I don't often get 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:02.040 into like ubers these days because they drive, But when 0:04:02.040 --> 0:04:05.000 I do, I used to do the extra communicator to think, oh, hey, 0:04:05.040 --> 0:04:06.840 how are you going, and like what's going on and 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:09.080 how's your day been and whatever? And I would get 0:04:09.120 --> 0:04:12.840 stuck in the most cooked conversations with the most cooked people, 0:04:13.240 --> 0:04:15.840 and I didn't feel completely safe to opt out because 0:04:15.840 --> 0:04:17.480 they know where I've come from, they know where I'm 0:04:17.560 --> 0:04:19.960 going and I'm in their car, so then I'm like 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:22.559 doing the whole like yeah, you know whatever, it's all good. 0:04:22.760 --> 0:04:25.200 And I thought to myself, what would life be like 0:04:25.400 --> 0:04:27.960 or even that situation had I not have felt so 0:04:28.080 --> 0:04:31.360 much pressure to be polite like everything, but my personal 0:04:31.480 --> 0:04:35.440 comfort was prioritized for this random person that I paid 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:36.920 to take me from A to B. Then I think 0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:39.880 about that broadly, like in any context where you walk 0:04:39.880 --> 0:04:41.560 into a room and the one thing you want to 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:43.440 do is just leave your headphones on and not talk 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:46.640 to anyone, And of course you're hey, going, yes, good, 0:04:49.480 --> 0:04:51.039 What would you think the world would be like? What 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:53.080 would you be like if you do you feel any 0:04:53.080 --> 0:04:55.240 pressure to be polite? Maybe I'll start there. Yeah. 0:04:55.320 --> 0:04:58.360 It waxes and wines. Definitely the past. I didn't because 0:04:58.360 --> 0:05:00.479 I knew if I were polite O it end up 0:05:00.480 --> 0:05:04.480 being meaner, because like, if I had to talk to people, 0:05:04.520 --> 0:05:07.479 I would be terse almost, So it's better for me 0:05:07.520 --> 0:05:09.840 to just completely ignore. Yes, yes, yeah, that's where I 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:10.120 was at. 0:05:10.279 --> 0:05:10.760 I'm the same. 0:05:10.800 --> 0:05:12.880 I've had some really cooked ubers of people, like doing 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:15.680 flat earth theory, and I've made the mistake of being 0:05:16.120 --> 0:05:18.599 that really nice at the start. I think they're just 0:05:18.640 --> 0:05:20.800 like sitting in there all day listening to podcasts. It 0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:24.520 cooks the brain, Like this one, How would life change? 0:05:24.560 --> 0:05:25.880 I just think it would be like being on the 0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:28.560 internet all the time. I think politeness can be the 0:05:28.560 --> 0:05:30.919 start of so many conversations that you wouldn't usually have. 0:05:30.960 --> 0:05:33.080 And yes, sometimes they can be bad, like in the Uber, 0:05:33.320 --> 0:05:36.120 but sometimes being polite can be a gateway into having 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:38.479 really great conversations as well. If we didn't have to 0:05:38.480 --> 0:05:40.560 be polite, if we didn't have to take the headphones off, 0:05:40.600 --> 0:05:43.120 then we would miss some really serendipitous moments that can 0:05:43.200 --> 0:05:43.920 change your life. 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:47.440 That's lovely, It's true, Like I've had baby, got to 0:05:47.440 --> 0:05:50.680 write that down. Yeah, yeah, book, I will credit me 0:05:52.440 --> 0:05:56.520 this is yeah. You get eighty cents per work. It's 0:05:56.520 --> 0:05:59.279 a tricky thing because I think that I have grown 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:02.839 to appreciate social norms just because of what it's afforded 0:06:02.839 --> 0:06:04.760 me in a society that does not like people who 0:06:04.760 --> 0:06:07.120 look like me. So I'm like constantly feeling like I 0:06:07.120 --> 0:06:08.880 need to disarm people to be like you know what, 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:11.240 like I'm not going to do this thing, you know it? 0:06:11.240 --> 0:06:13.719 Please and thank you and whatever. And then I interact 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:15.520 with people who do not look like me, who don't 0:06:15.520 --> 0:06:18.760 feel the same pressure to, you know, go through life gently, 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:22.719 who are just reckless beings with no regard for people 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:26.680 around them, people that they're impacting because there is no 0:06:26.839 --> 0:06:29.880 direct or clear consequence for them that they can see. 0:06:29.960 --> 0:06:32.480 I see that in ways with my dad sometimes in 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:35.359 what way, Yeah, just talking a lot, not asking people 0:06:35.360 --> 0:06:36.920 that many questions. 0:06:36.440 --> 0:06:38.520 Like not doing things that my mom. My mom would 0:06:38.520 --> 0:06:40.359 be held to a different standard to my dad. So 0:06:40.400 --> 0:06:43.120 I can see that in practice in some aspects, just 0:06:43.160 --> 0:06:46.320 between men and women of that age necessarily. Yeah, very interesting, 0:06:46.400 --> 0:06:49.480 good to consider. But yes, I still would choose nice 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:52.680 over good or kind because I love to have a nice, 0:06:52.680 --> 0:06:55.159 smiley vibe and a wave and nice and then we 0:06:55.200 --> 0:06:57.000 go away so we don't have to continue talking. 0:06:57.240 --> 0:06:58.919 Yeah, I'm doing nice for now. Think I want to 0:06:58.920 --> 0:07:01.960 do good or kind later on in future? Yeah? Not now? 0:07:02.160 --> 0:07:05.920 It flex and frums. 0:07:05.640 --> 0:07:07.520 I need you to tell me. Is this the sweetest 0:07:07.560 --> 0:07:10.240 story you've ever heard? Or is it a nightmare? It 0:07:10.280 --> 0:07:12.920 can be both, but I'm thinking it's it's leaning more 0:07:12.960 --> 0:07:15.600 towards one. I want to preface this by saying I 0:07:15.680 --> 0:07:19.920 just hate when love stories sound even remotely nightmarish, Like, 0:07:20.120 --> 0:07:22.080 you know, we've had our ups and downs, but you 0:07:22.080 --> 0:07:24.120 know she's always been there for me. Yeah, you know, 0:07:24.200 --> 0:07:27.280 we fight, we fight like foe, but she's the one. 0:07:27.320 --> 0:07:29.400 I don't like that because I feel like it's some 0:07:29.480 --> 0:07:32.320 kind of propaganda to get women in particular, to settle 0:07:32.360 --> 0:07:37.080 into not only traumatizing situations, but unfortunate situations because in 0:07:37.120 --> 0:07:40.440 heterosexual dynamics they always say that marriage is like a 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:43.080 more positive experience for men that it is women. Of course, 0:07:43.160 --> 0:07:46.120 as we know in a patriarchy. I digress. So this 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:49.320 story is about Sharia Wade, let's just call her Wade, 0:07:49.400 --> 0:07:53.320 who met this guy Boyce on Hinge. They tried to 0:07:53.320 --> 0:07:56.000 meet up twice. He canceled both times, and on the 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:59.320 third time, she was like, look, if you're calling to 0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:01.840 cancel again and don't worry about it, don't ever call 0:08:01.920 --> 0:08:04.880 me again. He countered that immediately with an offer to 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:09.480 meet her in five minutes in the car park of 0:08:09.520 --> 0:08:12.360 a fast food venue in America could pop Eyes, it's 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:15.360 like KFC. Basically, they said that they talked so long 0:08:15.400 --> 0:08:17.520 that he had a meal that he bought from across 0:08:17.560 --> 0:08:21.560 the street. And they also shared a sunset and first kiss. Already, 0:08:22.080 --> 0:08:25.320 I don't like it. He's canceled two times. The third 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:28.320 time not a date or anything. He's like, well, fine, 0:08:28.400 --> 0:08:31.080 meet me in the parking lot. And then you meets 0:08:31.080 --> 0:08:32.600 you in the parking lot. You talk for so long 0:08:32.640 --> 0:08:35.440 that you now are eating in the parking lot, looking 0:08:35.440 --> 0:08:40.319 at the sunset, kissing. It's like, these are thirty year olds. Okay. 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:42.200 They sit in the parking lot together talking and she 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:43.960 sings room for the first time. It's very romantic. 0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:46.920 Yeah, woll okay. So, after about a month after their 0:08:46.960 --> 0:08:50.400 first date, he asked her to be his girlfriend. She agreed, 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:52.760 but not before asking him to make it known that 0:08:52.800 --> 0:08:55.360 he was as she put it off the market. So 0:08:55.360 --> 0:08:58.240 soon afterwards, she laid out a plan for their future together. 0:08:58.559 --> 0:09:00.160 She said, I'm going to need you to move in 0:09:00.559 --> 0:09:02.920 after six months, and then he was like, what are 0:09:02.920 --> 0:09:04.720 you talking about? I bell you know you And six 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:07.080 months later he had moved in. Oh, this is not 0:09:07.120 --> 0:09:11.280 really giving romance. Yeah, it's feeling a bit like entrapment. 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:14.360 But I don't want to say too many compromises. After compromises, 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:16.679 she says that they definitely couldn't stop talking to each 0:09:16.720 --> 0:09:19.480 other and that he said that their connection felt really 0:09:19.520 --> 0:09:21.600 awesome and that they'd known each other for a long time. 0:09:21.760 --> 0:09:23.800 On a group friend trip, so they went with a 0:09:23.800 --> 0:09:27.160 couple of their friends. His friend thought it would be 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:30.000 the perfect time for him to propose to his girlfriend. 0:09:30.200 --> 0:09:33.280 So the friend buys a ring unbeknownst to the friend 0:09:33.559 --> 0:09:35.520 and says he had bought a ring so you can 0:09:35.520 --> 0:09:36.640 propose to your girlfriend. 0:09:37.000 --> 0:09:40.120 Heavy what he just has some drama. It's always nice 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:41.600 when someone gets engaged in a trip away. 0:09:41.760 --> 0:09:44.880 It's bizarre. Then they get married and this is what 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:48.439 he captions the photo. Imagine you've waited your whole life, 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:51.120 You've met who you think is the one They post 0:09:51.160 --> 0:09:53.960 the wedding photo. What would you expect the caption to be? 0:09:54.520 --> 0:09:58.320 I love her period, This is really great. I found 0:09:58.320 --> 0:10:02.360 my person, you know best ever whatever he says, met 0:10:02.400 --> 0:10:06.640 on hinge, the rest is history, haha. No pressure to 0:10:06.679 --> 0:10:10.000 take her on any fancy dates or to expensive restaurants, 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:13.680 just good old conversations and alignment with our goals. I 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:19.000 hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Why God, 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:22.800 romance be romantic? Why? Like I had a bit of 0:10:23.240 --> 0:10:26.880 fairytale juice into it? Like at least be poetic. It 0:10:27.160 --> 0:10:30.559 just spooks me so much, the trials and tribulations people 0:10:30.600 --> 0:10:31.760 go through to find the one. 0:10:32.160 --> 0:10:37.400 Then he says meronie rest is history. Personally, I love 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:41.080 the caption. I think it's funny and self referential. So 0:10:41.480 --> 0:10:44.080 many people go on Instagram or Facebook and go met 0:10:44.120 --> 0:10:46.200 my person like this is the best day in my life. 0:10:46.360 --> 0:10:48.840 Number one. It seems a bit disingenuous to me. I 0:10:48.840 --> 0:10:51.440 feel like it's something that people expect themselves to do. 0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:54.360 I'm right now forecasting what I would say if I 0:10:54.440 --> 0:10:56.559 was to get engaged and I reckon, I just go 0:10:56.800 --> 0:10:59.120 yay and like heat for emoji's exactly. 0:10:59.200 --> 0:11:02.000 I would much refer an emoji that feels far more 0:11:02.080 --> 0:11:05.640 genuine than this, like self reflective, because what the self 0:11:05.640 --> 0:11:08.760 reflection shows, I mean, even when they're retelling the whole story, 0:11:09.280 --> 0:11:13.280 like the first meeting was flippant. The decision to escalate 0:11:13.320 --> 0:11:17.160 into being more serious was a demand. Getting married was 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:19.960 instigated by a friend on a trip, like it was 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:23.200 you were coerced into it, and now you've come to 0:11:23.280 --> 0:11:25.199 the end. And of course there's no flavor to it 0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:27.880 because it wasn't a flavors some experience and I'm always 0:11:27.880 --> 0:11:30.679 thinking how someone chooses to narrate their life is very 0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:32.720 interesting because you can pick any of the words that 0:11:32.760 --> 0:11:34.480 exists in the whole wide world, and you pick the 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:36.760 ones you pick right. And so generally, when there's something 0:11:36.800 --> 0:11:40.360 that's happy or romantic, you would choose words to suit 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:43.120 that environment. If something was serious and sad, you would 0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:46.240 choose the appropriate words. These words, whether or not they 0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:50.320 were intentional subconscious, are saying too much to me. I 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:53.000 don't really mind about the performance of the publishing. I 0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:56.960 just feel like the thought of someone being single is 0:11:57.120 --> 0:12:01.120 far more scary than being in a dynamic that doesn't 0:12:01.200 --> 0:12:03.640 scream excitement. And it's scary to me. 0:12:03.679 --> 0:12:05.480 In the dynamic that doesn't scream excited, I think. 0:12:05.400 --> 0:12:08.880 People fear singled and more than just latching on and 0:12:08.920 --> 0:12:11.680 taking what comes with it. If you had to think, 0:12:11.920 --> 0:12:15.959 or if if you had the tools or the opportunity 0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:21.160 to conjure up the most ideal romantic scenario, like the 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:22.840 one where you're like, I can ask for whatever I 0:12:22.880 --> 0:12:24.439 want and this genie the bottles is gonna give it 0:12:24.480 --> 0:12:26.680 to me, you would not write we met in a 0:12:26.720 --> 0:12:29.800 parking lot and then we had a kiss, and then 0:12:29.840 --> 0:12:32.320 we ate chicken and found on his car, Like you 0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:35.360 would not write that. And I don't like how in 0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:38.719 telling this story, it's like reverse engineering romance into it 0:12:39.200 --> 0:12:41.600 and even then it was flailing. But what I find 0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:43.480 to be the most interesting thing about it is when 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:46.640 I saw this on Twitter, the comments were divided, people like, 0:12:46.679 --> 0:12:49.640 you know, marriage and partnership is functional, and so what 0:12:49.800 --> 0:12:52.400 is the issue that how they found each other is functional? 0:12:52.720 --> 0:12:55.439 Not my issue? I say, marriage is a business, marriage 0:12:55.440 --> 0:12:58.320 is a partnership. I get it, But I'm like, I 0:12:58.400 --> 0:13:01.680 feel as though, like people are so embarrassed to want 0:13:01.800 --> 0:13:05.720 romance that they oversimplify what should be really loving and 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:08.240 beautiful and genuine into this whole Like you have to 0:13:08.240 --> 0:13:10.319 move with an in winning in six months. This has 0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:12.679 to progress, and the friend like, get engaged now it 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:14.719 looks good. Do that now, I'll buy the ring. Don't 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:17.400 worry about having me back. Like these things are just 0:13:17.480 --> 0:13:19.120 insane to me. I hate it. 0:13:19.240 --> 0:13:23.000 I quite like chilled. Let's imagine this woman has been 0:13:23.080 --> 0:13:25.800 through a romantic relationship, perhaps a love bombing. Like for me, 0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:31.520 I associate overly romantic gestures as insincere. That's my general Yeah, 0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:34.480 that's trauma. It's not though I haven't had any trauma. 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:36.839 Yeah, but trauma's not just like what has it been 0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:42.400 what you've experienced, like we take in everybody else's life experience. 0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:44.120 That's the issue with the world we've created. 0:13:44.200 --> 0:13:48.000 It's just like people wanting there's different preferences, Like romance 0:13:48.080 --> 0:13:50.719 isn't for everyone. I don't think it's necessarily about what 0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:53.160 you've seen or what you've been conditioned with. I make 0:13:53.200 --> 0:13:55.600 a personal choice that I don't like it when someone's 0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:57.040 like soppy with me, or. 0:13:57.080 --> 0:13:59.000 But what do you where do you think personal choices 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:00.800 come from? Do you think you can out the womb 0:14:01.080 --> 0:14:03.920 as a baby placenta still attached being like at it 0:14:04.320 --> 0:14:05.280 like suppiness. 0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:11.720 Yeah, but yeah, I guess my thing is that romance 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:12.680 isn't always the best. 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:16.960 You're taking this hyper specific thing that I'm saying about 0:14:16.960 --> 0:14:20.920 my experience and you're internalizing it as a general assessment 0:14:21.400 --> 0:14:23.760 of the world. So you're like, I don't think it's 0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:26.440 the best thing. Like what you go through in romance 0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:29.360 to find your person. I would hate to get to 0:14:29.400 --> 0:14:32.480 the end, like quote unquote the destination or the goal 0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:35.920 and for that to be what it looks like like 0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:39.720 you don't get gas lit and experience like you know, 0:14:39.880 --> 0:14:42.720 weird non consensual things and you know, have your head 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:45.680 scrambled to get to the destination. Have someone be like, 0:14:46.440 --> 0:14:48.680 you know, my friend bought the ring and we hung 0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:50.280 out in a car park and you know, just like 0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:54.240 old fashioned goal alignment. No, I would rather be single. Wow. 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:56.840 Yeah, got a hard disagree with that. I liked when 0:14:56.840 --> 0:14:58.800 he said the last bit, which is we just aligned 0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:00.960 on the same goals and next y because I think 0:15:01.080 --> 0:15:05.120 romance comes from not gestures or not Instagram catchrons. I 0:15:05.120 --> 0:15:08.240 think it comes from things like meeting someone and being like, yeah, 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:11.720 I really like your values, you like mine. I find 0:15:11.800 --> 0:15:13.360 romance in other ways that aren't any of the ones 0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:15.640 that we just described, like what I haven't decided yet, 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:17.920 but anything that we just said in that, I'm not thinking, 0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:19.800 oh my god, I would definitely want to be single 0:15:19.960 --> 0:15:22.160 rather than have someone meet me in a parking lot 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:24.400 and we eat chicken together like my ideal date. I've 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:25.320 said this over and over again. 0:15:25.360 --> 0:15:28.040 No, so you're oversimplifying it, Like you take what I'm 0:15:28.080 --> 0:15:30.720 saying and then you oversimplify it. How I don't get it. 0:15:30.800 --> 0:15:34.400 I'm saying that like to want and yearn for love, 0:15:34.840 --> 0:15:38.560 there's romance intertwined. Otherwise people wouldn't be like, oh, you know, 0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:40.280 I want to connect with my friends with benefits I 0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:45.560 got like intimacy, romance, connection you need for me, shared value, 0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:48.760 shared goals, Like that is like basic for me. But 0:15:48.840 --> 0:15:52.240 I'm like, I don't like how like society has made 0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:55.880 love and romance a very practical affair because of how 0:15:55.960 --> 0:15:58.480 much it intertwined with everything else that I'm like, when 0:15:58.520 --> 0:16:02.240 can it be fantastic cool and like fun and sweet 0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:05.080 and silly in conjunction with all these things it needs 0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:07.200 to be Like when I get to the destination, I 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:09.520 want to be so moved by what I've experienced, and 0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:11.800 I'm like, oh my god, I could write poetry like 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:16.040 I'm seeing shit differently, like I've got rose colored glasses on, 0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:20.440 like I'm smiling because I'm like, Wow, I've unlocked Nirvana. 0:16:20.960 --> 0:16:23.280 Wow, that's amazing that you want that for sure? 0:16:23.480 --> 0:16:26.880 What else is there to want in terms of like anyway, 0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:28.400 we've done too much, We've said too much. 0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:31.440 This is flex and frooms on KEDA. 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:34.000 The thing about Free Me and I is that, up 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:39.080 until doing this show, we were Internet acquaintances, right, So 0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:41.760 there's not a lot of pre existing knowledge about each other, 0:16:41.800 --> 0:16:43.680 which is exciting because I learned when you learn, and 0:16:43.760 --> 0:16:48.000 vice versa. The thing about miss Frumina Liscinda Frum's Price, 0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:51.120 real name, not an alias, is that she is a 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:53.920 LinkedIn influencer. And the thing that gets me is, I 0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:57.440 didn't know anybody in creative industries were using LinkedIn in 0:16:57.480 --> 0:17:00.840 this way, like maybe to have it as a professional CV. 0:17:01.280 --> 0:17:07.160 But Mistermini is making statuses, she's writing articles, ral think pieces, 0:17:07.600 --> 0:17:13.120 she's commenting, liking, engaging. She's got like five hundred followers. 0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:15.600 You said five. 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:19.560 Thousand followers, which is huge considering that environment, Like it's 0:17:19.560 --> 0:17:22.440 a very niche space to exist in. And I feel 0:17:22.480 --> 0:17:24.520 like if I'm hearing about this for the first time, 0:17:25.080 --> 0:17:28.199 then most people are, So please explain to us what 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:30.520 is your affiliation with this corporate app. 0:17:30.680 --> 0:17:33.320 I started Linkedinning when I was in the first year 0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:35.159 of UNI. I think I said this a few episodes ago, 0:17:35.520 --> 0:17:38.080 and I gave myself the challenge of wanting five hundred 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:40.479 connections because the minute you hit five hundred, it goes 0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:43.280 five hundred plus, so there's no more like tally. And 0:17:43.320 --> 0:17:46.639 I'm someone who used to get nervous about ratios, and 0:17:46.720 --> 0:17:48.960 I can't follow more people than follow me and et cetera. 0:17:49.119 --> 0:17:50.919 So hitting the five hundred was my big males. So 0:17:51.400 --> 0:17:54.919 all through UNI, I'd be adding anyone making connections started up, 0:17:54.960 --> 0:17:56.280 and then I'd go on it all the time to 0:17:56.320 --> 0:17:58.719 try and find jobs. Then I got a full time 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:01.320 job in media, so I didn't really anymore. Then when 0:18:01.359 --> 0:18:03.679 I got made redundant from that job in twenty twenty, 0:18:03.800 --> 0:18:05.439 I was like, my whole thing now is to be 0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:07.560 a corporate boss. So I wanted to completely take the 0:18:07.600 --> 0:18:09.960 piss out of corporations. And of course there's a lot 0:18:09.960 --> 0:18:12.600 of corporate chat on LinkedIn. Some of it I find 0:18:12.640 --> 0:18:15.040 really funny. Other times you do read articles that are 0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:18.080 really helpful. So I started posting everything there, posting about 0:18:18.200 --> 0:18:21.160 corporate jobs that I was doing, brand partnerships I was doing, 0:18:21.240 --> 0:18:23.840 and just fostering a community where I'm getting out of bed, 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:26.520 I'm saying good night, sweeties and doing a little kiss 0:18:26.560 --> 0:18:29.119 to camera that looks ugly, you know, like I'm bringing 0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:33.320 some flavor to what is usually quite a uptight and it's. 0:18:33.160 --> 0:18:36.720 So necessary because you're making it appealing to me. I'm like, well, 0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:39.320 through mey's there and you're enjoying yourself and having a 0:18:39.320 --> 0:18:41.680 good time. I want to come. Same with be Real. 0:18:41.720 --> 0:18:42.879 I'm like, well for me is that I want to 0:18:42.880 --> 0:18:43.359 come too? 0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:46.560 Yeah, you got a join one, and I just find 0:18:46.560 --> 0:18:49.000 LinkedIn to be a great place to I think some 0:18:49.040 --> 0:18:52.280 people are migrating away from putting their what's it called, 0:18:52.320 --> 0:18:55.399 like accomplishments on Instagram. So then if you, if you 0:18:55.440 --> 0:18:57.800 work with brands quite often, it's good to have a 0:18:57.800 --> 0:19:00.560 LinkedIn page to say, look at my LinkedIn didging everything. 0:19:00.600 --> 0:19:03.960 And it's also like the done practice to explain behind 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:06.400 the partnerships. Yeah, I love that kind of give context. 0:19:06.440 --> 0:19:08.800 I put it on my website though, gotta. 0:19:08.600 --> 0:19:11.359 Get on the LinkedIn. Okay, everybody gets notified and you 0:19:11.520 --> 0:19:14.840