1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:03,480 Speaker 1: The Jonesy demanded show as we know it started in 2 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:06,520 Speaker 1: the aftermath of the two thousand and four tsunami in. 3 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:10,920 Speaker 2: Pouquet, an undersea earthquake sent enormous way. Since then, we've 4 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 2: been here, as you're constant, while the world changed, social 5 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:18,120 Speaker 2: media time it changed three oil wedding. 6 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:25,040 Speaker 3: I follow matter for afect like a sentinel. 7 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:28,160 Speaker 1: We have watched over the world since two thousand and five, 8 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:29,080 Speaker 1: and thanks. 9 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:31,360 Speaker 2: To a detailed set of diaries that Jonesy has. 10 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 1: Kept, well they're kind of detailed, but we do have 11 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:37,840 Speaker 1: a time travelers podcast of a highly successful radio show. 12 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:44,000 Speaker 1: Highly successful a podcast of a moderately successful radio show. 13 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:45,919 Speaker 2: All right, well, let's begin, shall we. 14 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 3: Two thousand and five. 15 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,360 Speaker 1: It seems so long ago, if it was long ago, 16 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,199 Speaker 1: two thousand and five. And let me read from my 17 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:57,440 Speaker 1: diary a couple of the news clippings from there. The industry. 18 00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,959 Speaker 1: This was in the Sydney Morning Herald, February twenty one, 19 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 1: two thousand and five. The industry is waiting nervously for 20 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,960 Speaker 1: tomorrow's survey, the first for the year. 21 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,640 Speaker 3: The survey, by the way, that's the radio ratings. 22 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:11,360 Speaker 2: Yes, and in TV you get them every day. In 23 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:13,119 Speaker 2: radio there are eight a year. 24 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:18,040 Speaker 1: This article says New Breakfast shows the tsunami and saturation 25 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:22,959 Speaker 1: marketing have created more uncertainty than usual about the result. 26 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:24,920 Speaker 2: Because we'd had the tsunami and we didn't know whether 27 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:28,759 Speaker 2: that meant news stations or talk stations would do better 28 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:30,360 Speaker 2: than FM. It was all up in the air. 29 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:33,399 Speaker 3: Isn't it. Isn't it amazing though the tsunami at the time. 30 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:36,200 Speaker 1: I remember you ringing me on Boxing Day and said, well, great, 31 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,120 Speaker 1: we're going to be starting the year off well with 32 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:41,399 Speaker 1: this horrible news that's happened. And indeed, I'm not downplaying 33 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:44,280 Speaker 1: the tsunami, but a lot of shit has happened since 34 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:45,240 Speaker 1: two thousand and four. 35 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 2: But the song is that a lot of shit always happens, 36 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:50,559 Speaker 2: and hopefully we are here with you. Like we've seen 37 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 2: with COVID, we are part of I think i'd like 38 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,240 Speaker 2: to think people's lives, the good, the bad, the ugly. 39 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 2: We're a constant in it. 40 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: And that's the good thing about the podcast. We break 41 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:03,000 Speaker 1: into the swears from time to time. I know last 42 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,200 Speaker 1: time you were shocked when I. 43 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:04,920 Speaker 3: Said the word. 44 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 2: Why doing this? 45 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: I'm just saying we'll beat that out because that's offensive. 46 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:13,440 Speaker 3: It is. 47 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 2: But so anyway back to the article. 48 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:19,520 Speaker 1: Yes, so back to the article our programs say two 49 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 1: thousand and five is a whole new ballgame. Two Day 50 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,640 Speaker 1: launched its new breakfast show with Kyle Sandlan's and Jackie O. 51 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:29,560 Speaker 1: Amanda Keller joined Brendan Jones on WSFM, Jay and the 52 00:02:29,639 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 1: Doctor replaced Adam Spencer and Will Anderson on Triple J. 53 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,120 Speaker 1: Two GB has extended Alan Jones's morning shift in a 54 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 1: bid to stop listeners turning to. 55 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 3: John Laws on t UE Triple M. 56 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:43,040 Speaker 1: Two Day and Mix have adopted new slogans and altered 57 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:48,520 Speaker 1: their playlists. And then it said for us that WSFM 58 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,240 Speaker 1: had been lagging in the low sevens, that. 59 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:54,080 Speaker 2: You lured me over here telling me you were successful. 60 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:57,560 Speaker 1: So the next page has the radio ratings and our 61 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:58,919 Speaker 1: first radio ratings. 62 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,920 Speaker 3: You and me together up a staggering point five. 63 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:03,119 Speaker 2: That's a big deal. 64 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:07,280 Speaker 1: So from the low sevens to the medium to low 65 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 1: sevens at seven point. 66 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,200 Speaker 2: And we were often running. 67 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 1: But also other things that happened. I was thirty six 68 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,040 Speaker 1: at the time, thirty seven at the time. My wife 69 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:20,519 Speaker 1: had had our third child in two thousand and two, 70 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 1: and we decided. 71 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:23,919 Speaker 3: That it was probably time for me to get a viseectimy. 72 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 2: That's right. Not long after I started here. You know, 73 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:28,560 Speaker 2: I said that I had you buy the testicles. You 74 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 2: took them out yourself. You decided to get a vasectomy. 75 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:34,119 Speaker 3: Not decided. 76 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 1: I just knew that after Helen had had dominic, we 77 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,120 Speaker 1: knew that she was enough. 78 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 3: That was it. 79 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: There was going to be no more babies, because each 80 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 1: one of Helen's births just got more and more complicated. 81 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:47,839 Speaker 2: If that hadn't happened, would you have wanted another one? 82 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 3: I think three? I think three. You feel like you've 83 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:51,880 Speaker 3: got the right amount of kids now. 84 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 1: I know when we had two, we always thought that 85 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,760 Speaker 1: there was another little soul out there, So yeah, what 86 00:03:58,840 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 1: about you with Jack and Lee? 87 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 2: No, well, we had Liam after years of IVF, and 88 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 2: to be honest, at the beginning, it never occurred to 89 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 2: me that we'd have more than one. We were so 90 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:11,560 Speaker 2: lucky and amazed that we had one after years. 91 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 1: Well, I remember you thinking that you weren't going to 92 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 1: have any I remember having a conversation with you were 93 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:18,479 Speaker 1: at a function and you said, I think this is 94 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:18,839 Speaker 1: my life. 95 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:20,080 Speaker 3: I'm just going to be childless. 96 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 2: And I remember thinking I wouldn't have said the word child. 97 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:25,480 Speaker 2: I could never have said that. The childless, I don't think. 98 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,840 Speaker 2: Maybe said flash word, I could never have said it. 99 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 3: Maybe you said, do you remember that function? 100 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 1: We're at a function and I was sitting next to 101 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 1: Michael Gadinsky and Molly Meldrum and I think. 102 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:41,120 Speaker 2: It was your son second birthday. All the godfathers. 103 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 3: Andy Dent was there. 104 00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: Jennifer Burn was Remember you introduced Jennifer Burn to Andrew Denton. 105 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:50,039 Speaker 2: No, didn't you say, Jennifer this is I forgot that 106 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,159 Speaker 2: he was in No, someone came over to talk to 107 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:55,320 Speaker 2: Jennifer and I thought, oh, no, what's their name? And 108 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,119 Speaker 2: I remember their name and I called Jennifer Debbie Burn. 109 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:02,480 Speaker 1: But anyway, it was at that function that you said, 110 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 1: maybe not the words you weren't going to have a 111 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,799 Speaker 1: baby or be child. 112 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,359 Speaker 2: I did look down the barrel of not having a baby, 113 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,360 Speaker 2: but look as you now. Yeah, And then I thought, 114 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:11,920 Speaker 2: I did I want to get to fifty and think 115 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,520 Speaker 2: I should have tried again. And that's why you know, 116 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,920 Speaker 2: we had another crack at and then Jack came along. 117 00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:19,279 Speaker 2: But let's get back to your vsectomy. 118 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:22,159 Speaker 1: So the vsectomy happened, and what I find about the 119 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,280 Speaker 1: VASECTI me, is it seems to be you've got to 120 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:29,120 Speaker 1: ask your wife's permission for a visectomy firstly. Secondly, the 121 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,040 Speaker 1: options for the viseectum me you can have a general 122 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:33,560 Speaker 1: anothetic or you can have a local anesthetic. 123 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 3: And for some reason women say, oh no, you don't 124 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 3: need a general. You don't need a general. 125 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,719 Speaker 1: ATIS say this is get a local. It's fine, it's easy, 126 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 1: you don't need that. And so I was just going 127 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 1: to go along and do that. There was a sales 128 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:48,880 Speaker 1: guy here Andrew you remember, yes, yes, So about a 129 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:52,960 Speaker 1: month out from my visectomy, we're just talking and he said, so, 130 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,479 Speaker 1: what are you getting a general or a local? 131 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 3: I said, well, my wife said I just need a local. 132 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:58,800 Speaker 1: And he said you might want to rethink that, and 133 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 1: I said why and he said, well I had my 134 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 1: verseected me. My wife as well said that you should 135 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,040 Speaker 1: just get a local. So he was in the doctor 136 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:11,600 Speaker 1: surgery and he's got his jewels out there and he's 137 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 1: got a little sheet up and he's got the local 138 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:16,240 Speaker 1: and the doctor says, can you feel anything down there? 139 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:17,520 Speaker 3: And he says no, no, I think it's okay. 140 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:22,480 Speaker 1: The doctor starts cutting into his scrotum and he said, 141 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 1: I can feel something, and the doctor says, well, you're 142 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 1: going to feel something and it's going to be a 143 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,479 Speaker 1: little bit uncomfortable. And he says, yeah, okay. So he's 144 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,279 Speaker 1: cut into the scrotum. Then he's grabbed the vast deference. 145 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 1: They're the things that carry the sperm, and he's pulled them. 146 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:34,800 Speaker 3: Out a little bit. 147 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 1: And it was that part that the local anesthetic wore off. 148 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 1: So Andrew flinched. This is the guy that's telling the story. 149 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:43,600 Speaker 3: He flinched. 150 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:47,120 Speaker 1: The doctor had the two parts of the vast deference 151 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:50,719 Speaker 1: in those little force apes pliory things that they use, 152 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:56,400 Speaker 1: and because he's flinched, the doctor's gone and pulled both 153 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 1: both his vast deference like a string on a frog, 154 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 1: you know, the string on a frog and the legs 155 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 1: go up. 156 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:03,920 Speaker 2: Is that what happened? 157 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:04,559 Speaker 3: That's what happened. 158 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:04,800 Speaker 2: And he. 159 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:08,920 Speaker 1: Saw, you know, they had a little privacy sheet so 160 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 1: he couldn't see what was going down there. He saw 161 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:15,720 Speaker 1: the doctor and the vast deference above the sheet. He 162 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:19,400 Speaker 1: couldn't walk for a month because it had all pulled everything. 163 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 1: So when they put it all back together, it felt 164 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 1: like all the ten he was he was sewn from 165 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:25,679 Speaker 1: the shag to his lap. 166 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 3: He felt like he was he couldn't walk well, so 167 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 3: he said have a general He. 168 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:33,120 Speaker 1: Said, get a general anesthetic. So I went and got 169 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,080 Speaker 1: a general anesthetic. 170 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,200 Speaker 2: If I told you this story. When I was filming 171 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 2: for the Beyond two thousand in China and they were 172 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:41,559 Speaker 2: looking at ways of birth control, we had to film 173 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:45,560 Speaker 2: a man having pretty much arrol died injected into his testicles. 174 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:49,880 Speaker 2: Why as a birth control blocking up the tubes. So 175 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:51,640 Speaker 2: this poor guy. 176 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 3: They put it into the van. First step. 177 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:57,200 Speaker 2: Yes, so this poor guy is lying there we're filming 178 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:01,160 Speaker 2: hit the doctor doing this to him. A Chinese film 179 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,440 Speaker 2: crew were filming us because it was so prestigious having 180 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:06,920 Speaker 2: this Australian film crew filming it. So the doctor was 181 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,120 Speaker 2: so nervous his hands were shaking. This poor man turned up. 182 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 2: He just put his shoes under the table where this 183 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,400 Speaker 2: operation was taking place. I don't know what kind of 184 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 2: anesthetic they gave him. He was wide awake and they 185 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 2: flopped his testicles out on a sheet, so everything else 186 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,160 Speaker 2: was hitting. He still had his clothes on and it 187 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:29,000 Speaker 2: was just the sack above this piece of sheeting. 188 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 3: And how old are you? 189 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:32,880 Speaker 2: I was in my early twenties. 190 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:34,959 Speaker 3: So you're just standing there gormlessly watching. 191 00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 2: It, and as the doctor's hands are shaking and injecting 192 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 2: this stuff into him, he's just lying there pretending it's 193 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,720 Speaker 2: not happening. And then we had to get a shot 194 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 2: of my face watching what we call a cutaway, so 195 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:51,240 Speaker 2: the cameraman films my face as I'm looking and I 196 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:55,440 Speaker 2: just thought this is so surreal that I just started giggling, 197 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 2: which is the worst thing you could do, filming me 198 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:04,400 Speaker 2: in close up looking at this man's giant sack and laughing. 199 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,719 Speaker 2: It was a and I think, what a dreadful day 200 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,080 Speaker 2: for me. That poor man, what a dreadful day for him. 201 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 3: You know, I think women feel that they own pain 202 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,400 Speaker 3: because of childbirth and everything. 203 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:14,640 Speaker 2: Let's not argue about that. 204 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 1: And I don't dispute that I've witnessed a few births. 205 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:19,920 Speaker 1: I've been in the birthing suite for all my children, 206 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,080 Speaker 1: and I have all respect for that. But at the 207 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,200 Speaker 1: same time, I don't feel that this respect given back 208 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 1: when it comes to the VERSECT. 209 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,439 Speaker 2: Well, you had a general anesthetic, but I did. 210 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,560 Speaker 1: But I was ready to go in there with a 211 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,320 Speaker 1: local anesthetic because my wife for me because my wife 212 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:35,240 Speaker 1: had said, oh, don't be such a baby. He's only 213 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,720 Speaker 1: cutting into your scratum and cutting your vast difference. 214 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,320 Speaker 3: What's the matter with you? 215 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 2: So tell me what the general feel. 216 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 1: Well, I got the general anesthetic and was great and 217 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:46,599 Speaker 1: went along for the procedure and as I'm about to 218 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:49,360 Speaker 1: get knocked out, the guy goes, you know, and he's 219 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:53,960 Speaker 1: he's at the time putting mercurochrome on my testicles and 220 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 1: he says, I just like to really enjoy your show. 221 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,680 Speaker 1: You're and Amanda and everything. I know you've just started 222 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 1: this year, but you're doing very well. And he's holding my. 223 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 3: Testicles as he says this, and. 224 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,760 Speaker 2: Like he said, he liked you. But anyway, the prefer 225 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:10,720 Speaker 2: Alan Jones. I gave you a squeeze. 226 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:14,720 Speaker 1: He saw the testicles and thought Alan James. So anyway, 227 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,000 Speaker 1: all fine, Everything was okay. 228 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 3: I will say this though. 229 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:21,280 Speaker 1: When you go for the general anesthetic, because you're totally 230 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,360 Speaker 1: knocked out, they're going to be a bit rougher with you, 231 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,800 Speaker 1: so meaning they're going to pull because something you don't realize. 232 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,840 Speaker 3: The vast different is quite it's almost like a hose 233 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:30,320 Speaker 3: rill in there. 234 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,640 Speaker 1: You can pull it out affair because we've heard as 235 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:34,800 Speaker 1: we've heard with poor old Andrew the sales guy, so 236 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,160 Speaker 1: obviously they're going to be a bit rougher. 237 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,720 Speaker 3: So when I woke up there was a bit of pain. 238 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,360 Speaker 1: It felt like, as I said before, my lap had 239 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: been sewn to my stomach. 240 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:48,800 Speaker 2: And yet you insisted on riding your bike. Even the 241 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:49,880 Speaker 2: doctor said don't do it. 242 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 1: No, he didn't say don't do it, because I always 243 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,320 Speaker 1: respect doctor's orders, I will say this. I didn't ask 244 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 1: him though, because I knew he would say it was 245 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,640 Speaker 1: Doctors buying large hate motorcycles. 246 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:01,000 Speaker 3: They hate how they pay for the hold it out. 247 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 2: You may as well have just got a broom and 248 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 2: whaped yourself in another region. 249 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:05,720 Speaker 3: I know that now. 250 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,240 Speaker 1: By the time I got halfway to work, I thought 251 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:08,600 Speaker 1: this is probably a bad idea. 252 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:14,120 Speaker 2: But my favorite thing, though, is when I don't know 253 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,280 Speaker 2: how long after that, you have to test that it 254 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:17,800 Speaker 2: has done its job because. 255 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:19,840 Speaker 1: There's a few shots in the pipe, as they say, 256 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:23,199 Speaker 1: so once your vast difference have been chopped, you've got 257 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,040 Speaker 1: to be careful because what happens is there's a lot 258 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:30,080 Speaker 1: of VASEECTI me babies. So a couple who the guy 259 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:32,680 Speaker 1: gets the vasectomy and then he thinks, oh great, I'm 260 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,120 Speaker 1: you know, shooting blanks. 261 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:36,199 Speaker 3: Now that's not the case. So that's why you get 262 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 3: a lot of VASEECTI me, baby. 263 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:38,960 Speaker 1: So what you have to do is you've got to 264 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,400 Speaker 1: You've got to have about thirty shots. 265 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,240 Speaker 3: Thirty ejaculates. 266 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,920 Speaker 2: Over a period of about expecting this. 267 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,280 Speaker 3: I'm just saying, that's what it is. 268 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:58,640 Speaker 2: The guy the car wash said, the dry cleaner, look, 269 00:11:59,040 --> 00:11:59,720 Speaker 2: so many. 270 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,400 Speaker 3: Ways you're going to have thirty shots. 271 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,720 Speaker 1: And you can't just go and have thirty shots in 272 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 1: one go, as the doctor said to me. He said, 273 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,240 Speaker 1: you've got to wait for about three months and then 274 00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 1: after you've had thirty. 275 00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:11,440 Speaker 2: Shots, you go and get it tested. 276 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,920 Speaker 1: And I'm going to tear my sex life wasn't Isn't 277 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,760 Speaker 1: that prolific? Okay, so thirty shots is. 278 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,720 Speaker 2: Eight years later you made your way back thirty shots. 279 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:23,280 Speaker 3: That's you know, if that was genuine sex. Yeah, I'm 280 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:24,679 Speaker 3: not going to go let's not go into that. 281 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:27,199 Speaker 2: Under what I remember about this story. 282 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:29,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, so you've got to wait three months. 283 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:32,080 Speaker 2: You got to wait three months and then for some reason, 284 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,520 Speaker 2: the day you had to go and take your sample 285 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 2: in and it's no fun doing. And I know that 286 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:40,120 Speaker 2: Harley had to take samples in and stuff and all 287 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,360 Speaker 2: that we were doing IVF, all kinds of things, and 288 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:43,880 Speaker 2: he didn't want to go into a little room and 289 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:46,080 Speaker 2: do it there, so he'd do it at home and 290 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,719 Speaker 2: drive with it in a container under his arm. And 291 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,360 Speaker 2: I thought, if he had an accident, how do you 292 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,120 Speaker 2: explain why? That's all Jones? He's been in a car 293 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:55,040 Speaker 2: with him. 294 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:58,160 Speaker 3: I shot number twenty eight. Why would my jisp in 295 00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:58,680 Speaker 3: his arm? 296 00:12:58,760 --> 00:12:59,000 Speaker 2: Pid? 297 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 3: What do you say? 298 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,840 Speaker 2: That's the headline right there. 299 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,640 Speaker 3: I don't understand. Why didn't you want to go into 300 00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:06,840 Speaker 3: the little room. You can go along with it. You 301 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:09,920 Speaker 3: can go along with a copy of Big and Bouncy. 302 00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:12,320 Speaker 1: Or perform differences and you can walk into the room 303 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 1: and go here you go, I'm going in there. 304 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:19,240 Speaker 2: But that's awkward for some because it's a sanctus. 305 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 1: You did it well, okay, So what happened for me 306 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,840 Speaker 1: happened for yous. So for me to go and see 307 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 1: that I was demonstrate that I was now infertile. 308 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:29,280 Speaker 3: I went to the collection. 309 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:31,760 Speaker 1: Well, I had to drop my sample off at the 310 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 1: collection place, and they don't have any facilities to do 311 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:36,800 Speaker 1: it at the collection place. 312 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:39,200 Speaker 3: They didn't even have a toilet there. You've just got 313 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:40,439 Speaker 3: to drop your. 314 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 1: Because the collection place is in one of those shopping ceters, 315 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,840 Speaker 1: you know. We they've got, you know, a toilet that's 316 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,040 Speaker 1: shared with a restaurant. You can't go into the restaurants 317 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:48,800 Speaker 1: thing and have a wank. 318 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:54,640 Speaker 2: That would be terrible that no one would know your 319 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:57,960 Speaker 2: copy of Ribald Tractor magazines. Whatever you need. 320 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,480 Speaker 1: So at the time I was working on Carry Show. 321 00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:02,040 Speaker 1: I was doing Carry Anne show. 322 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 3: Hands it's a good in my hand. 323 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,920 Speaker 1: Yeah it is ex ockay, take your head out of 324 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,880 Speaker 1: your hands. So it's doing Carry and Show. It's a 325 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,080 Speaker 1: very busy time for me. 326 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,400 Speaker 2: So you chose that day I had to drop off. 327 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:18,640 Speaker 1: I had to do the drop off because I was 328 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,360 Speaker 1: booked in for the drop off and the doctor said 329 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,800 Speaker 1: you've got to do it between this time so you 330 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:25,600 Speaker 1: can come down and see me for the after consult consultation. 331 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 3: So I was at Channel nine. 332 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:32,240 Speaker 1: The place I was going to is a Ramsgate suburban 333 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:33,800 Speaker 1: Sydney on the way home to Cronulla. 334 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,600 Speaker 3: So we've got timan Ramsgate, Cronulla. 335 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:39,720 Speaker 2: So short, long story short, no, no, you had to 336 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:40,720 Speaker 2: do it at Channel nine. 337 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:43,440 Speaker 1: Had to do it at Channel nine, and Channel nine 338 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,880 Speaker 1: has some great bathrooms. There's plenty of there were plenty 339 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:48,280 Speaker 1: of isolated ones, so you would know that you were 340 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:52,800 Speaker 1: safe to you do your business without any distraction. The 341 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,160 Speaker 1: problem is in the toilet. Going into the toilet, someone 342 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,240 Speaker 1: that's a joke put a picture of Eddie Maguire. 343 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,520 Speaker 2: And there, So this is my favorite part of the 344 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:04,520 Speaker 2: story is you gave your sample under the gaze of Eddie. 345 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,880 Speaker 1: Look, and this is before the iPhone, so he couldn't 346 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:09,080 Speaker 1: even look up your own material. So there's no there's 347 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,720 Speaker 1: no there's no pornhub, there's nothing like that out there. 348 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:13,400 Speaker 3: There's nothing that you can you know. 349 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:17,080 Speaker 1: So you no, Well I had to like went into 350 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,920 Speaker 1: the green room and just looked at the magazines. 351 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,920 Speaker 2: There was the Prospectors. 352 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:28,600 Speaker 1: That's what got me over the line. So then then 353 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:30,320 Speaker 1: after I flipped Eddie's. 354 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:37,400 Speaker 3: Picture around so you could see him. So because anyway, anyway, it's. 355 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:40,040 Speaker 1: Needless to say you got your sample, because they give 356 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,600 Speaker 1: you all the collection things you need. 357 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,000 Speaker 3: So you get like a plastic container with a lid. 358 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:48,840 Speaker 1: So before I did my business, I wrote on the 359 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:54,840 Speaker 1: plastic container my name, my business, my name, my age, 360 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,520 Speaker 1: my address, all that sort of stuff sealed the container, 361 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:01,160 Speaker 1: so I wrote on that. Then there's another plastic contained, 362 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:04,160 Speaker 1: a like plastic bag ziploc bag that says. 363 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 3: Bio has it on it. 364 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:09,600 Speaker 1: So I've written on that my name, my address, everything 365 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:13,000 Speaker 1: like that. And then they give you another plastic bag, 366 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:14,359 Speaker 1: I presume for privacy. 367 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,280 Speaker 3: So when you take a long. 368 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:19,000 Speaker 1: Still plastic, it's plastic, but it's not it's translucent. 369 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:20,840 Speaker 3: You know, you can't see really what's in there. 370 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:21,920 Speaker 2: Well, it's not translucent. 371 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 3: It's translated. Opa, it's opai right like why seed? Oh 372 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:30,880 Speaker 3: all right, you asked. So you've put that in. 373 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:34,160 Speaker 1: And then I've got my own bag, which I've put 374 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:35,760 Speaker 1: it in a paper bag. 375 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,480 Speaker 2: By now it's the size of a dude. 376 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,280 Speaker 3: I've put that in just so and I've he's dropping 377 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:40,720 Speaker 3: off the end. 378 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:44,000 Speaker 1: I've checked, checked and double checked triple check that all 379 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:45,680 Speaker 1: the details are there so I can go to the 380 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:48,520 Speaker 1: collection place. Put it on the counter. Here you go, 381 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:52,440 Speaker 1: I'm dropping off my collection, Thank you, goodbye. So anyway, 382 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 1: I get to this collection place in Ramsgate walking there's 383 00:16:56,040 --> 00:17:00,120 Speaker 1: a massive like not a massive, there's like a waiting room, 384 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:01,120 Speaker 1: not massive. 385 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,200 Speaker 3: But there's a few people in there. 386 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,199 Speaker 1: There's like about ten people in this waiting room and 387 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:10,280 Speaker 1: there's a counter there, and there's this particularly gruff Russian woman. 388 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:14,160 Speaker 1: She looks like a Russian weightlifter. And she says yes, 389 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:18,480 Speaker 1: and I said, I'm just chopping off my sample for. 390 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,960 Speaker 3: Doctor blah blah, thank you very much, hang on, wait 391 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,359 Speaker 3: a minute where we would check it? 392 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,520 Speaker 1: And she sounded like Boris and Natasa, you know Natasha 393 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:30,320 Speaker 1: from Ruggy and Muzzan Squirri. I will check the details. 394 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,440 Speaker 1: And I said, no, no, the details are fine. You 395 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 1: don't need to check anything. No, no, no, we must 396 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:37,640 Speaker 1: check And I said, no, it's all there. You will 397 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,240 Speaker 1: find all the details I would check. So I thought, okay, 398 00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:42,040 Speaker 1: well you know, and I thought she'd just take the 399 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:47,359 Speaker 1: brown paper bag off, see the translucent or opaque bag 400 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,440 Speaker 1: and move on from that. She goes, have you labeled 401 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:52,359 Speaker 1: the other bag? And I'm like, yes, I've labeled the 402 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:54,159 Speaker 1: other bag inside. Yes, I have to put all my 403 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 1: details in there, and she says, I will check, and 404 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:59,840 Speaker 1: then she says, your name is Brendan Jones. Yes, And 405 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,119 Speaker 1: she's yelling this all out to everyone that's in the 406 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:05,640 Speaker 1: waiting room. Your phone number, yells out, my phone number address, Yes, 407 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:08,720 Speaker 1: thank you. Okay, just have you labeled the specimen jar? 408 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,720 Speaker 1: And I went, yes, I've labeled the specimen. 409 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,560 Speaker 3: I will check, and by that stage I thought, well, 410 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:15,200 Speaker 3: here we go. 411 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:19,840 Speaker 1: So she gets the specimen jar out, holds it and 412 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,879 Speaker 1: then she's reading my name so I can clearly see 413 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 1: my seed in her hand. 414 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,040 Speaker 2: That would have you know, I must say, if you 415 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:28,359 Speaker 2: wanted to cut out the middle man. 416 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 3: Gone straight. She looked a bit like Eddie McGuire. 417 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:38,440 Speaker 2: So she's in save on plastic. 418 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:40,840 Speaker 1: She's holding it in her hand like this. It's like 419 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:45,560 Speaker 1: she said a wine tasting. Your name is Brendan John's yes, yes, 420 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,040 Speaker 1: And then I thought okay, cheese and crackers. 421 00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:48,280 Speaker 2: Yeah. 422 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:49,800 Speaker 1: And then she says, okay, put it all back and 423 00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 1: I went okay, thank you. Then this guy walks in, 424 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:57,920 Speaker 1: old guy, and he's got a bag, an opaque bag 425 00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,480 Speaker 1: as well, and he said, I'm just trybing on sample. 426 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:01,760 Speaker 3: Have you labeled the thing? 427 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,959 Speaker 1: And he goes, yes, yes, yes I have, and then 428 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,440 Speaker 1: she says I will check. So the poor old guy 429 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,959 Speaker 1: has to stand there. She pulls out a square sized box. 430 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:12,880 Speaker 1: What I reckon was the biggest pool I've ever saw. 431 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:16,879 Speaker 2: My god, how did he manage that well, that's dextrous. 432 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,720 Speaker 1: And everyone in the waiting room is just looking at 433 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,919 Speaker 1: and the old guy's going as red as anything. And 434 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,959 Speaker 1: I said, mate, this is what she just does, This 435 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,119 Speaker 1: is her thing, this is what she does. 436 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:31,880 Speaker 2: Well, how many kids do you have after that? None? 437 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,160 Speaker 3: There were no oversectory babies to be had. 438 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,119 Speaker 1: Well, I still haven't gone up to the thirty shots, 439 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,480 Speaker 1: and that was back in two thousand and five. 440 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,160 Speaker 2: But you still call Eddy once a week. 441 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:43,639 Speaker 1: I do. 442 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,080 Speaker 2: Well, I've enjoyed this enormously. 443 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,160 Speaker 3: Please tune in for our podcast. 444 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,200 Speaker 2: We probably it will be no swears or stories of general. 445 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,040 Speaker 3: This is what it's all. Of course, there's going to 446 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 3: be swears and genital so are you kidding me? Are you? 447 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:57,760 Speaker 2: Cares? And genitals and watermelon wine. 448 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,000 Speaker 1: Join us next time as we thumb through two thousand 449 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,560 Speaker 1: and five, as we head too, because what happens to 450 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,480 Speaker 1: our two heroes in two thousand and five, We actually 451 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,120 Speaker 1: managed to go number one in the ratings, but we've 452 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:10,960 Speaker 1: got a long way to go to get there. 453 00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:12,880 Speaker 2: We'll see you next time there, goodbye. 454 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:17,320 Speaker 1: For more Jonesy and Amanda podcast, download the free iHeartRadio 455 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:17,680 Speaker 1: app