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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.

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Speaker 2: Now, I thought all the love and affection, the encouragement and.

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Speaker 3: Support that I gave my children the war all cut out.

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Speaker 3: I wanted to see myself being lovely on TV, but

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Speaker 3: they cut them all out.

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Speaker 4: They only showed me being so nasty.

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Speaker 1: And now here's the scars of our show, my mom

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Speaker 1: and Dad.

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Speaker 5: Hello, this is doctor Justin Colson.

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Speaker 6: I'm the parenting expert and co host on Cell Nin's

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Speaker 6: TV show Parental Guidance, and also the founder of Happy

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Speaker 6: Families dot com. Today you welcome to all of our

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Speaker 6: new listeners to the Happy Families Podcast. We're watching more

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Speaker 6: and more seeing, I guess in the stats, more and

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Speaker 6: more people joining us for great conversations on the podcast.

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Speaker 6: And I'm so so excited about the conversation we're having today.

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Speaker 6: I should introduce Kylie for those of you who are knew.

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Speaker 6: Kylie's my wife, maum Do our six kids and podcast

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Speaker 6: co host extra Man. I don't know why I go

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Speaker 6: French every time I say that we need free time,

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Speaker 6: we need yarn and donnas that I can make it

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Speaker 6: properly French and for the last couple of weeks we've

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Speaker 6: been talking about parental Guidance, this new show that's been

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Speaker 6: on Channel nine that's really bringing the conversation about parenting

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Speaker 6: to everybody. We're talking about parenting in this country, I

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Speaker 6: reckon in ways that we never had before. Last week

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Speaker 6: the show wrapped up, it was all said and done,

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Speaker 6: we met our winners. We also had a great chat

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Speaker 6: with Ali Langdon, the host of the show today. I'm

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Speaker 6: so excited a couple that were just full of delight,

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Speaker 6: always laughing and had I think the most wonderful humility

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Speaker 6: in the way that they showed that they just want to.

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Speaker 5: Be better parents.

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Speaker 6: And let's face it, there are a few times where

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Speaker 6: they felt the heat of that hot seat as people said,

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Speaker 6: what are you doing that for? That's not what your

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Speaker 6: children need. Kevin and Debbie our tiger parents.

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Speaker 7: I think Kevin maybe got a little bit carried away

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Speaker 7: and took over a little bit at that time.

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Speaker 8: That's the part of Tiger parenting that we would never.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, we would let them go and let them make

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Speaker 5: the mistake.

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Speaker 6: We're so glad to welcome you to Kevin and Debbie.

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Speaker 9: Thanks for having us.

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Speaker 7: We are so excited to have this conversation and spend

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Speaker 7: some time with you. So thank you for being with

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Speaker 7: us today. I'm wondering now that you're at the other end.

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Speaker 5: It's all over, it's all over.

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Speaker 7: What were your impressions when you went into the show?

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Speaker 7: What did you think you were going to get out

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Speaker 7: of it?

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Speaker 4: I think we.

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Speaker 2: Didn't think too much because we got invited, like we

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Speaker 2: didn't apply ourselves, so we felt that we were thrown into.

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Speaker 10: This whole thing, like without preparing our heart.

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Speaker 8: Initially, we thought it would be more like a documentary

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Speaker 8: for our family because we're really busy.

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Speaker 9: We thought, Okay, it'll be good, you know, if we.

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Speaker 8: Can have some professional setup to record some of our

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Speaker 8: life and stuff and say, okay, that's that's great. But

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Speaker 8: then we realized, okay, it's about having more conversation with

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Speaker 8: other families with different style, and then we have to

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Speaker 8: kind of beickome.

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Speaker 9: Each other, and you know, it's more like a competition

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Speaker 9: kind of thing.

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Speaker 8: It's a little bit different from what we initially thought.

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Speaker 8: But then you know, I think, you know, we had

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Speaker 8: some conversation with the crew and then we understand potentially

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Speaker 8: it will bring the conversation bring some benefits for the

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Speaker 8: audience having you know, different styles, and we kind of

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Speaker 8: got convinced somehow, and then here we.

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Speaker 5: Are convinced somehow.

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Speaker 7: I love that you really really got that that arm

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Speaker 7: twisted by the sounds of it there.

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Speaker 5: But you're such an asset to the show.

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Speaker 6: The conversations that you allowed us to have and your

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Speaker 6: your wonderful personalities were just such a such an asset

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Speaker 6: to the show. And I loved having you there and

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Speaker 6: loved watching the way that you guys progressed.

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Speaker 5: And I think that.

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Speaker 7: You've changed the conversation around tiger parenting in a really,

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Speaker 7: really positive way. I know that before I watched the show,

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Speaker 7: my idea of what a tiger parent looked like was

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Speaker 7: not a whole lot of love, not a whole lot

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Speaker 7: of connection, and just you know, bearing down on your

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Speaker 7: kids in really significant ways, those high expectations, and you

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Speaker 7: just proved that you can have high expectations and yet

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Speaker 7: still have all of that connection and all of that love.

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Speaker 7: And I loved that about the show.

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Speaker 4: Really. I thought all the love and affection, the encouragement and.

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Speaker 3: Support that I gave my children a war or cut out.

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Speaker 3: I wanted to see myself being lovely on TV, but

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Speaker 3: they cut them all out.

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Speaker 4: They only showed me being so nasty. I also disappointed.

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Speaker 7: Ah well, I definitely got that. I saw that in

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Speaker 7: just the way you know, your kids responded to you,

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Speaker 7: and you have such a gentle way, Debbie, you really do,

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Speaker 7: and it comes across and I saw that, I saw

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Speaker 7: I felt the love.

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Speaker 5: I did feel the love safe.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, And it wasn't It wasn't always just in the

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Speaker 6: interaction with the kids. It was the way that you

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Speaker 6: presented yourself to the other parents in the room, the

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Speaker 6: way that you were explaining, the way that you raise

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Speaker 6: the kids. And I thought, I thought that you were

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Speaker 6: absolutely tremendous as well.

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Speaker 7: When you hold a mirror up to your own parenting

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Speaker 7: on National TV, I would put like, hands up, that

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Speaker 7: is probably one of the most courageous things that you

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Speaker 7: could do as a parent. But were there moments when

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Speaker 7: you wondered if you were getting it right as a parent?

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Speaker 4: Yes, definitely.

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Speaker 8: Like you know, when I was saying that I was challenged,

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Speaker 8: I was heavily challenged, Like you know, looking at especially

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Speaker 8: like with the free range parents, was you know, there

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Speaker 8: were a great inspiration for us, you know, I thought,

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Speaker 8: you know, I like to, you know, till then you know,

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Speaker 8: usually with your friends you share resource, but you don't

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Speaker 8: pick on each other's parenting style.

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Speaker 11: You don't.

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Speaker 8: You don't compare your kids. You know, that's something you avoid,

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Speaker 8: you don't do it.

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Speaker 5: But then you know, it was so special.

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Speaker 8: We have these families. We are now very close friends.

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Speaker 8: We can talk about, you know, very strange things that

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Speaker 8: you don't really we usually talk about. But then you know,

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Speaker 8: the three range parents they will you know, we want

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Speaker 8: to see our kids to have a little bit of

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Speaker 8: you know, what their kids have as well, and then

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Speaker 8: that makes us thinking as well, you know, but it's

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Speaker 8: not about right or wrong.

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Speaker 9: It's about the balance.

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Speaker 8: Right, It's nothing perfect, but you know, if you see

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Speaker 8: something missing or if you don't get.

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Speaker 9: Certain, you know, you don't have time, you don't have

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Speaker 9: any some personality. Maybe it's the currenting style. Maybe right,

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Speaker 9: it just give us the opportunity to think about it.

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Speaker 7: Were you and Debbie always on the same page with

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Speaker 7: your parenting.

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Speaker 12: Actually I would say we we we are very different people, like,

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Speaker 12: very different personality and background in terms of parenting.

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Speaker 4: I think we we're pretty much on the same page most.

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Speaker 8: Of the time because, like I fully support Debbie, and

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Speaker 8: she has some thing in mind, and she has her

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Speaker 8: way of getting things organized.

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Speaker 9: I come from a very free range.

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Speaker 8: Background, and I feel that, you know, I I've missed

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Speaker 8: quite a bit of opportunities. So I fully support Debbie

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Speaker 8: in almost everything. And sometimes I'll have my opinions. Sometimes

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Speaker 8: I'll you know, but then I fully support Debbie, and

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Speaker 8: I think that's how it works. It's not everything is

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Speaker 8: like that, but in parenting, I think that's how it

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Speaker 8: works in our case.

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Speaker 10: Thank you, You're welcome.

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Speaker 5: You guys are just so sweet.

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Speaker 6: After the break, we're going to find out what Kevin

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Speaker 6: and Debbie really took out of the show. I'm going

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Speaker 6: to share my absolute highlight, one of the best parts

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Speaker 6: of the show, and it was because of this wonderful couple.

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Speaker 6: And you've got a couple of tricky questions to ask

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Speaker 6: them to wrap things up. That's right after the break

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Speaker 6: on the Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 1: It's a Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 11: Are Screens Creating Tension at Home? Tweens, teens and Screens

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Speaker 11: is a webinar to guide families to healthy, safe superscreen

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Speaker 11: solutions by today at Happy Families dot com, dot are

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Speaker 11: you slash shop.

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Speaker 7: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time

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Speaker 7: poor parents, who just wants answers now, And today we

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Speaker 7: are talking to.

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Speaker 5: Tiger our parents, Tiger parents. What was the chance tiger parents?

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Speaker 5: Never give up? Is that what you used to say? Hi?

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Speaker 13: Okay, I think so, like we said, never give up.

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Speaker 10: But I think the correct thing is we don't give

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Speaker 10: up easily. Right, Sometimes like we sometimes give up if

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Speaker 10: after trying our best, like we're still not getting the result,

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Speaker 10: then it's time to give up. Like when Mimi went

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Speaker 10: on that right, we actually got asked to go on

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Speaker 10: the second time, but then it was time for us

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Speaker 10: to to start.

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Speaker 14: We did.

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Speaker 8: We did check this, Mimi, she said, she said, okay,

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Speaker 8: she didn't like it, or I don't you know if

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Speaker 8: if if the if the crew insists right, we will

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Speaker 8: have to said we have we have some kids on

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Speaker 8: the flu.

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Speaker 13: You know, No, no, we don't do that.

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Speaker 9: Me and the crew.

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Speaker 4: No, no, that's bad, you'll say that.

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Speaker 13: Actually the first time they cut it out. Me actually

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Speaker 13: agreed to go on.

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Speaker 4: The second time. She said no.

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Speaker 8: So yeah, we like our kids to try to have

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Speaker 8: some trust on their parents. You know, we're not trying

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Speaker 8: something very dangerous something ridiculous, something stupid. But if it's

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Speaker 8: something you know, we can. We think it's safe, it's

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Speaker 8: worth you know, doing, you know, while we're in the

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Speaker 8: same park. Let's give you the try and then you know,

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Speaker 8: we took it as a challenge, like rather than you know,

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Speaker 8: we can just go to the easy, easy one and

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Speaker 8: then you know and take it easy way out. But

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Speaker 8: we just want to see, if you know, our way

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Speaker 8: of communication can actually we just like to share that

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Speaker 8: with everyone.

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Speaker 10: Yeah, And honestly, after Leo did the five minute jump,

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Speaker 10: he enjoyed it, so the second time he went up

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Speaker 10: with excitement. So we honestly thought Mimi would be like that,

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Speaker 10: but no, she isn't like it. But now I know

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Speaker 10: why she's really regretted. She told me, oh, I should

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Speaker 10: have gone up again. It actually wasn't that scary, and

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Speaker 10: I missed the chance of a lifetime to go up

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Speaker 10: without queuing.

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Speaker 6: There are a couple of things that come out of this,

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Speaker 6: and I think they're both worth emphasizing. The first one

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Speaker 6: is that balanced approach that you've highlighted really really important.

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Speaker 5: The idea that we should never give up.

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Speaker 6: Sometimes it's a really bad idea, sometimes it's right to

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Speaker 6: give up. Sometimes we get to a point where we think,

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Speaker 6: hang on, I've been gritty, and I've been determined, and

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Speaker 6: I've been pushing, but this is not in anyone's best

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Speaker 6: interest for this to continue. And as parents, we've got

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Speaker 6: to be able to have the wisdom to know when

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Speaker 6: to say enough is enough.

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Speaker 5: I think that's really valuable.

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Speaker 6: But the second thing that you've highlighted is just this

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Speaker 6: tension between how fai you push your kids, and what

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Speaker 6: you've just highlighted is that Mimi now wishes that she

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Speaker 6: could go back and do it again. And I remember

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Speaker 6: Lara and Andrew the Attachment parents, when their little boy Raffi,

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Speaker 6: they till took him off the climbing wall, and they

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Speaker 6: were roundly criticized for doing that. They didn't set the

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Speaker 6: targets high enough he was allowed to pull out and

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Speaker 6: didn't have to do it. But they were very clear

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Speaker 6: as well in the show that they went back the

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Speaker 6: week after and the week after and eventually he learned

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Speaker 6: how to climb the wall and really got to enjoy it.

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Speaker 6: So I think that there's also this really unique and

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Speaker 6: interesting tension where as parents were like, Okay, I need

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Speaker 6: to keep you safe. I need to make sure that

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Speaker 6: you're in your comfort zone. But I'm going to expose

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Speaker 6: you to it again and again and again, because as

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Speaker 6: you become more and more comfortable with it, you're going

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Speaker 6: to expand your horizons. You don't have to do it,

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Speaker 6: or you don't have to eat the whole elephant in

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Speaker 6: one bite. And that's what I'm really hearing from your conversation.

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Speaker 6: Now we've only got time for another couple of questions

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Speaker 6: because podcast time, poor parent answers.

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Speaker 5: Now we've got to move on.

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Speaker 6: My favorite, I think it's literally my favorite part of

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Speaker 6: the entire series, in the entire show.

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Speaker 5: Was the evening where you were on your wilderness challenge.

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Speaker 6: You've never been camping before, You've had a really big

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Speaker 6: day line hike with the kids, and you've really accomplished

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Speaker 6: some some really fun things together and had a unique,

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Speaker 6: wonderful family experience. And that night you're sitting around the fire,

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Speaker 6: you've read your letters that you'd written, and Debbie, you

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Speaker 6: looked at Kevin and just.

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Speaker 5: Said, am I a good mom? Yes?

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Speaker 8: Definitely, and I believe both your children will agree with me.

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Speaker 6: And in that moment, I just, oh my heart, I

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Speaker 6: felt what I think every parent feels well. We ask

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Speaker 6: ourselves that question, and for me that was the most

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Speaker 6: It was just such an impactful moment as you sat

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Speaker 6: there and were thinking and asking that question. Was what

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Speaker 6: was going through your mind? How were you feeling about everything?

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Speaker 10: I think I'm usually not a very emotional person, but

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Speaker 10: that day, I mean, we went through a lot as

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Speaker 10: a family, and it was a very exhausting day.

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Speaker 4: I don't know why that just came into my mind, which.

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Speaker 2: Did to have a good chat with Kevin, and I

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Speaker 2: guess the atmosphere.

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Speaker 10: It was very emotional sitting around the campfire.

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Speaker 5: Have you been camping since?

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Speaker 6: That was a very strong note. Are you planning on

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Speaker 6: going camping again?

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Speaker 4: Clamping?

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Speaker 1: Maybe you're so good?

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Speaker 7: You guys, you nailed that challenge, you really did.

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Speaker 10: We were quite clumsy when putting the tent together read instructions.

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Speaker 6: What I loved that we didn't get to see in

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Speaker 6: the show was there was a whole conversation that happened

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Speaker 6: in the studio that never made the final edit about

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Speaker 6: needing to dig a bathroom, needing to dig a hole

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Speaker 6: for the toilet.

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Speaker 5: And it didn't make it into the show.

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Speaker 6: But let's just say we had a very very very

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Speaker 6: funny conversation in the studio about about what it meant

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Speaker 6: to have to dig a hole to use the loop.

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Speaker 6: And let's just say that leaf took a few days

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Speaker 6: to arrive, but when it arrived, it was it was good.

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Speaker 5: That's all I'm saying. I'm not going to say anything else.

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Speaker 6: Anyway, we need to wrap up your last question or two, Kylie,

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Speaker 6: and let's let's let's move this towards a conclusion.

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Speaker 7: So, guys, my last question for today is how has

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Speaker 7: this experience strengthened your family?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 14: I think although we we go through some rollercoasters like recently,

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Speaker 14: it definitely strengthened our relationship as a family.

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Speaker 10: And I see that my children are becoming more mature.

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Speaker 4: They knew that I was feeling a bit hurt.

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Speaker 10: And then they had a huge discussion to share that discussion.

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Speaker 8: So like so Mimi and Leo, so we try to

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Speaker 8: stay away from all the social media stuff. But then

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Speaker 8: they had conversations at school with their friends, and then

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Speaker 8: they couldn't resist to search the internet. They found some

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Speaker 8: you know, negative comments about my mainly on Debby, and

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Speaker 8: they were quite angry about it.

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Speaker 9: And they don't and then, you know, but.

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Speaker 8: I was trying to come, trying to help help Mimi

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Speaker 8: to digest that, to understand different people having different background,

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Speaker 8: different opinion and all that. And then Mimi was trying

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Speaker 8: to tell me, Daddy, you know, emotion, Mom's emotion is

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Speaker 8: true emotion.

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Speaker 9: It is something we need to look after. And then

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Speaker 9: she added this she had she used to discipline every

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Speaker 9: one of us in a family, so we are so

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Speaker 9: used to it. But she is new to that kind

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Speaker 9: of criticism. So we need to give her you know,

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Speaker 9: Is that the thing? Yeah, So she want.

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Speaker 8: Us to be more understanding and support Debbie during this

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Speaker 8: difficult time.

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Speaker 5: Very cute.

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Speaker 10: Yeah. And then I think this morning yesterday she said, oh, Mommy,

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Speaker 10: don't cry at night because your eyes will become really

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Speaker 10: swollen and you don't look nice.

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Speaker 5: That's so funny.

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Speaker 7: Guys, thank you so much for giving us your time

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Speaker 7: today and for just sharing some of your insights. As

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Speaker 7: you said suggested, this has been a little bit of

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Speaker 7: a roller coaster for you, and as we've watched it

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Speaker 7: as a family, it's been a bit of a roller

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Speaker 7: coaster for us as well. Having justin in the spotlight

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Speaker 7: as well, and so we kind of our hearts go

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Speaker 7: out to you. We understand and.

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Speaker 5: Know what that feels like.

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Speaker 7: But like I said in the beginning, brave and courageous

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Speaker 7: and the experiences that you were able to have on

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Speaker 7: national television have literally changed the conversations that we're having

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Speaker 7: around our dinner tables all around the country.

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Speaker 6: So thank you and your wonderful parents. And you have

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Speaker 6: beautiful children, fabulous kids. I think that everybody's fall in

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Speaker 6: love with them and Leo, they're just such great kids.

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Speaker 4: Encourishment.

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Speaker 6: We are so grateful for Kevin and Debbie from Parental

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Speaker 6: Guidance for sharing some time with us on the Happy

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Speaker 6: Families podcast.

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Speaker 5: The Happy Familiess podcast.

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Speaker 6: Is produced as always by Justin Rouland from Bridge Media.

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Speaker 6: Craig Bruce is our executive producer. And if you'd like

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Speaker 6: morefol about making your family happier, because a happy family

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Speaker 6: doesn't just happen, visit happy families dot com dot au