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Speaker 1: This is a Will and Woody podcast.

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Speaker 2: Mimi, we've got our fairy god Martha, Martha Califatatos who

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Speaker 2: joins the boys. It's no problem, too big or too small.

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Speaker 1: If you're having an issue, you know who to call.

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Speaker 3: It's woman Woodies, very god Martha.

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Speaker 4: Yes years, Hey guys, welcome back. Mate. Absolute pleasure to

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Speaker 4: have you on the show as always.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for having me. I'm excited. I wonder what I'm

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Speaker 1: going to help you guys out with this week.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Well, last week we were talking about the male rear

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Speaker 3: that the male bottom.

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Speaker 1: Oh how can I forget? Yeah? Yeah, and Monny the

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Speaker 1: stunning male rear end.

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Speaker 3: Well yeah, and that was great to hear. Actually, Martha,

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Speaker 3: you referring to the male rear end as stunning because

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Speaker 3: for most men they are ashamed of their bottom. But

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Speaker 3: I just had a little follow up question. Were you

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Speaker 3: paying more attention to your fiances behind over the week?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: No, guys, to be honest, I actually it wasn't.

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Speaker 2: Ah. We thought you might got the machete out and

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Speaker 2: made your way through those Greek weds.

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Speaker 1: You no, I ignore it altogether.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, right, okay, okay, fair enough, Well let's talk about

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Speaker 3: celebrity ESAs. Then we'll move right along. This was one

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Speaker 3: of the highlights. Martha last night on Celebrity says, it

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Speaker 3: was a f l great Barry Hall giving a stern

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Speaker 3: talking to the other celebrities.

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Speaker 1: When when you have a piece, Sorry girls, but can

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Speaker 1: you not piss on the sleep?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: If we need to do another one separated, very Hall.

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Speaker 3: Now, I was just wondering, that's a highlight highlight.

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Speaker 4: Didn't that like throw him out of a plane or something.

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Speaker 3: This is way better give Barry Hall, by the way,

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Speaker 3: standing in his dicktogs giving a stern talk to all

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Speaker 3: the celebrities about piss on the seat. Now, Martha, at

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Speaker 3: your household? Is this a problem?

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Speaker 1: Guys? I mean, sorry, my jaw, let me just pick

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Speaker 1: it up off the ground, right, I mean, shock, What

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Speaker 1: does not happen in my house? No, I don't piece

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Speaker 1: on the seat.

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Speaker 3: You it'd be almost impossible for you unless you're a

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Speaker 3: stand up. And I mean that's just talking to the girl. No,

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Speaker 3: he said, sorry girls, and you don't really need to hear.

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Speaker 1: Yes, of course that makes more sense. It makes so

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Speaker 1: much more sense.

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Speaker 2: Questions if you if you found your girl pussy at

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Speaker 2: your girlfriend pussy on the set.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, i'd be wondering what's going on?

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Speaker 3: Is there any well, would there have any female out there?

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Speaker 3: Martha does a stand up.

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Speaker 1: No, Well, I was just about to say, you'd actually

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Speaker 1: be quite surprised if you came into like the pub

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Speaker 1: toilets and you went into the girl's toilets. It's pretty bad.

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Speaker 3: What are we talking, Martha, Like.

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Speaker 1: I've seen some thing that I can't unsee.

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Speaker 4: Girls toilets are cooked.

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Speaker 2: They are. They always say that. You always think the

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Speaker 2: boys are going to be worse. Girls toilets a rank

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Speaker 2: aericon couldn't be worse.

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Speaker 1: They are. I'm telling you they are worse than the

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Speaker 1: men's toilets. Don't ask me how I know that, but

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Speaker 1: just take my word for it.

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Speaker 4: I think we're gonna have to ask you.

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Speaker 3: We have to have one example.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna have to dumb it down. You're gonna have

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Speaker 2: to dump it down. It's only ten past four, but

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Speaker 2: we're gonna have to hear it.

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Speaker 1: Okay. So the only reason I know that is because

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Speaker 1: sometimes girls take forever in the bathroom and the boys'

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Speaker 1: toilet is always empty. So sometimes if I'm like fasting

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Speaker 1: because I drink so much water to stay hydrated to

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Speaker 1: keep the complexion useful. I just have to do a

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Speaker 1: mad dash into the men's blue. It was much cleaner

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Speaker 1: and there was no line.

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Speaker 3: Right, Okay, so that's the boys. We've covered the boys.

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Speaker 3: But what sort of ghostly haunts are you've seen in

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Speaker 3: the female bathroom? Like?

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Speaker 1: Am I going to go there?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I feel like we now can you can you keep

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Speaker 3: it family friendly?

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Speaker 1: I mean, like if I call it a sanitary pad, yeah,

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Speaker 1: family family friendly.

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Speaker 3: Absolute, We're trying to normalize sanitary pads on this show.

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Speaker 3: Tampon's on this show, so absolutely fine.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well then there's tampons and things like that, like

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Speaker 1: blush for on the floor, on the wall, on the walls,

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Speaker 1: on the door handle. Yeah, yeah, tree ornaments, a little

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Speaker 1: ornaments hanging that is.

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Speaker 3: I do not believe that tampon like a bable on

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Speaker 3: a Christmas.

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Speaker 1: Tres a gorgeous little Christmas.

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Speaker 4: Take your coat off and leave it at the door.

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Speaker 2: They can always put a hat rack at the door

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Speaker 2: for the tampa take him out.

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Speaker 3: We didn't go to something. I need to go to

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Speaker 3: a song that changed the subjects. More questions with Martha

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Speaker 3: Calipatatas right up next.

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Speaker 2: And Martha's joining us from a cupboard in a house

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Speaker 2: in Brisbane, highly.

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Speaker 4: Professional taking a radio new radio gigs. Seriously, Yeah, at least.

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Speaker 1: I've got like some padded walls and you know all

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Speaker 1: that stuff.

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Speaker 3: And you're in a robe, sweating the house down as well.

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Speaker 1: Over I'm in a down. I'm in a long fleece

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Speaker 1: gown in this little cupboard just because I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: find somewhere quiet. So we can take this, So we

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Speaker 1: can take this gool.

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Speaker 3: So by the gown? Why the gown though, Well.

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Speaker 1: I'm shooting for these sunglasses. You guys will see shortly

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Speaker 1: and I can send you guys a pair.

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Speaker 3: That's what I wanted to hear that.

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Speaker 1: You guys love freebies. That's what I realized together, love

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Speaker 1: a freebie.

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Speaker 2: Send us the game Father Jesus taking us about a month,

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Speaker 2: but she's finally offering us some fresh duck. Now we

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Speaker 2: are talking about Barry Hall last night and celebrity s

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Speaker 2: I s woulds.

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Speaker 4: He said this about dudes, about one of the boys.

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Speaker 3: Who wasn't which was boy Locky Gilbert for me, Gilbert

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Speaker 3: Bachelor slash survivor slash. He's done them all.

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Speaker 4: The one who you've you've hooked up with his sex

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Speaker 4: with his ex.

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Speaker 3: Well, yeah, but that's neither here nor there anyway here

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Speaker 3: it is.

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Speaker 4: Locke'm just a terrible.

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Speaker 3: Now mother, you started talking about female public tools when

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Speaker 3: you brought this out first, but at your private residence residence?

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Speaker 3: How how does Michael go with the old aim on

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Speaker 3: the toilet?

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Speaker 1: Well, we've come a long way.

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Speaker 2: Way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, there there were things going on. I had

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Speaker 1: to have a bit of a Barry Hall moment, and

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Speaker 1: I just continue to do it until I guess it

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Speaker 1: got to a point where you know, it was embarrassing.

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Speaker 1: I boarded up or I mentioned it in front of

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Speaker 1: people that I knew. Michael, Yeah, I.

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Speaker 3: Did nice classic was it just?

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Speaker 4: Was it just a set?

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Speaker 2: Think I'm gonna be honest, and I get in trouble

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Speaker 2: in our house.

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Speaker 4: But that's for a floor for the girls on the floor.

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Speaker 1: The floor is the one that really Yeah.

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Speaker 4: That's that's what because I go in the middle of

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Speaker 4: the night as well.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're in the middle of the night, you're not

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Speaker 2: you're not sure how far back you're standing.

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Speaker 4: And then it's on the floor.

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Speaker 2: And then when she goes, look, you don't want to

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Speaker 2: turn the light on you don want to turn the light.

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Speaker 1: Yourself, so you're in the dark.

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Speaker 4: You got to use the sound.

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Speaker 3: Just listening for water, you got to use this.

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Speaker 2: But can you know you know this, by the way,

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Speaker 2: when you're listening for sound and there's no water and

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Speaker 2: you don't you porcelain, you're like, that's going to come back.

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Speaker 4: To bite me.

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Speaker 2: And then and then you use the brush and some

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Speaker 2: stage down the future and you're like, geez, you got

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Speaker 2: all the way out there.

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Speaker 3: On Year's Day, I took a WII in my girlfriend's

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Speaker 3: mum's garage just because how I was weaning for sound,

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Speaker 3: I was in a totally different room.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you're in the garage. Yeah, because then you're

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Speaker 4: waiting for water.

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Speaker 3: I was waiting the water. I was like, where is it?

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Speaker 3: Then I was like, it seems like there's a car

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Speaker 3: in here and was in there. Sorry Michelle, if you're listening.

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Speaker 3: But it's also a flicking problem. I think we shake

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Speaker 3: and that's when that That.

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Speaker 1: Is what I'm like beside myself at because I'm a

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Speaker 1: very visual person, so I visualize Michael doing this and

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Speaker 1: like it really irritates me because I just say, why

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Speaker 1: can't you just get some toilet paper.

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Speaker 5: A little.

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Speaker 3: Is Michael, have you trained him to dad? Let's let's

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Speaker 3: get the scoop.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what Michael does? Not Dad, but my brother.

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Speaker 1: He's a dabbers, not a friend who is a dabber. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they're dabbs all about it. No, I'm like they are

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Speaker 1: like mind blown that other men don't dab and they

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Speaker 1: were by it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, no, yes.

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Speaker 3: Do they start the with a bit of toilet paper

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Speaker 3: in their hand?

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure?

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Speaker 2: Over to a bit of phones here, this is totally wild.

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Speaker 2: Six vibes the phone number.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, please, I can't wait.

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Speaker 4: Are you a guy? Are you a guy who dabs?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, just be square with us, all right? Yeah, go on,

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Speaker 2: think most women. I think most women dab. I think

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Speaker 2: it's a thing.

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Speaker 3: Shake No, No, I was going to ask if women have

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Speaker 3: trained their man to dab? Yeah, and have they successfully

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Speaker 3: pulled it off too?

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Speaker 1: We want to know that too.

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Speaker 2: All right, we're going to go to a song. We

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Speaker 2: take the calls on the other side. Thirty one, six five.

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Speaker 2: You're a guy that dabs, Martha, can you stay in

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Speaker 2: the closet? Two more minutes we're back on the side.

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Speaker 4: We are joined by a fairy god.

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Speaker 2: Martha Martha Califortitis on the phone right now.

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Speaker 4: She joins us from a.

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Speaker 2: Cupboard in Brisbane in the middle of a photo shoot.

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Speaker 2: So we'll be brief, Martha. We know your time's precious.

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Speaker 1: I know this is I'm so invested in this. Now

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Speaker 1: you have no idea you.

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Speaker 4: Did not you have Actually, okay, i'll tell you first.

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Speaker 2: Up the phones are blown up, so okay, absolutely blown up.

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Speaker 4: If you're just joining us.

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Speaker 2: We were talking about wing on the seat blocks in general,

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Speaker 2: weing on the seat that happened in celebrity sas last night.

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Speaker 4: Barry Hall accused Locky Gilbert, Locky Gilbert and weeing on.

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Speaker 1: The seat, which might I add like I'm impressed, like

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Speaker 1: I can if I ever see him in real life,

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Speaker 1: Like I am going to say, I take my hat

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Speaker 1: off like very gentleman.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't throw those words around. But yeah, no,

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Speaker 4: really I.

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Speaker 1: Don't know anything about him.

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Speaker 2: So absolutely so. So there's way on the seat. But

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Speaker 2: but you've said, Martha that you reckon. You've dodged this

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Speaker 2: problem in your house because you have trained your partner

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Speaker 2: Michael to dab No, Michael.

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Speaker 1: Doesn't dab it doesn't, but I have asked him to.

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Speaker 3: You want him to get a single piece of to

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Speaker 3: and just dab effectively like ladies do.

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Speaker 4: Well.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because I clean the bathroom and so when I'm cleaning,

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Speaker 1: like and windexing around the area, I can see splatters

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Speaker 1: and I can only imagine those flatters are not from

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Speaker 1: washed hands.

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Speaker 4: Oh no, no, no, no, fair enough. So, but the

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Speaker 4: question is is the dab a reasonable request? Do man

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Speaker 4: actually dab? Stella is called stella.

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Speaker 5: Hi guys, Hi will how many house I love you? Yes,

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Speaker 5: I raise the dabba, which.

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Speaker 1: Has converted his dad.

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Speaker 5: To be a dabba. Help jee is boys not flushing

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Speaker 5: the toilet, so when they dab, they put the toilet

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Speaker 5: paper in the loop and that reminds them to flush

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Speaker 5: the toilet as well.

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Speaker 1: I love this household.

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Speaker 5: It's amazing. And you know what, it's so much more hygiene.

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Speaker 1: Especially if you're not cut.

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Speaker 5: You definitely have to dab.

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Speaker 1: That's just another bit of bit eager. She's saying. Real here,

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Speaker 1: we're getting right, not circumcised.

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Speaker 3: If you're not circumcised, it's healthier to dab as well.

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Speaker 3: Thank you Stella for that little bit of medical advice.

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Speaker 4: There as well, which isn't your visual.

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Speaker 3: Here as well? I mean this is a revolution, Holly.

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Speaker 3: Your your husband is a dabber.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely yep, and has been, I think for for as

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Speaker 1: long as I can remember that. I didn't train him

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Speaker 1: to do that.

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Speaker 3: He was dabbing before the relationship.

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Speaker 4: Holy yep.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely. He's not interested in you know, dreams and drags

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Speaker 1: going everywhere. So yep, I love this. He's not interested in.

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Speaker 1: But he's off for two young boys as well.

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Speaker 5: And I've trained them all to stick down to we

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Speaker 5: at night.

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Speaker 4: Oh geez. That I mean they're well trained. They're well trained.

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Speaker 4: That's the call. Hold jeez, we're saying we're seeing a

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Speaker 4: bit of a revolution.

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Speaker 2: He'm going to finish with James on thirty one oh

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Speaker 2: sixty five. James has given us a call.

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Speaker 4: James. We're talking about guys, James.

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Speaker 2: We're talking about guys dabbing when they go to the toilet,

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Speaker 2: guys getting trained to dab. You.

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Speaker 4: You're up in arms about this, mate.

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Speaker 2: You can't believe it, Tom RL.

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Speaker 5: Seriously, Polis, people that are dubbing that is not mainly

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Speaker 5: you might as well get him to sit.

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Speaker 1: Down on the tour and got it allis there's this guy, give.

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Speaker 3: It a go.

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Speaker 1: Roll with sitting down to go to the toilet. Apparently

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Speaker 1: it's healthy for the cross.

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Speaker 3: J Oh, there you can. You give it a go

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Speaker 3: for us, James, Come on, mate, don't knock it to

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Speaker 3: you try it. Give it. I'm going to have a death.

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Speaker 3: Oh you, I'm gonna go and have a dab over

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Speaker 3: the trap.

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Speaker 1: Homework for the week. Have a dat.

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Speaker 2: All right, let's get out of it, mart. The covers up,

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Speaker 2: Fairy Godmother. You go in to your photo ship mate,

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Speaker 2: thanks for joining us. Get yourself out of the cover. There.

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Speaker 4: She'll be back next week.

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Speaker 1: Now you're done with that, why not check out more

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Speaker 1: from Willen Woody on The Whole Show podcast