WEBVTT - Tame your mind with these tips for anxiety and overthinking 🌪 0:00:02.240 --> 0:00:06.480 I had a really special, heartfelt moment the other day 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:08.160 when I bumped into one of my twenty eight ers 0:00:08.640 --> 0:00:11.319 on the street, which is something I love doing, and 0:00:12.800 --> 0:00:16.880 when I heard how getting on top of her health 0:00:16.880 --> 0:00:19.200 and fitness had changed her life. And it's not in 0:00:19.200 --> 0:00:23.160 the way that you're probably thinking, I was blown away. 0:00:24.160 --> 0:00:25.880 I'm going to share that story with you a little 0:00:25.920 --> 0:00:27.920 bit later, and we're also going to talk about the 0:00:27.960 --> 0:00:30.680 importance of celebrating the little winds. 0:00:30.520 --> 0:00:34.560 On your personal journey. This is The Wood Life. I'm 0:00:34.600 --> 0:00:35.200 Sam Wood. 0:00:35.520 --> 0:00:40.240 We're answering real questions from real people about real life. 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:40.960 Also on the. 0:00:40.960 --> 0:00:44.279 Show, if you've been feeling pretty flat since twenty twenty, well, 0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:46.280 first of all, you're definitely not the only one. Whether 0:00:46.320 --> 0:00:49.320 it's stress or anxiety. You might be lying on the 0:00:49.360 --> 0:00:51.040 couch and feel it you just can't get up. If 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:53.320 it's not you, it's someone in your family, perhaps even 0:00:53.400 --> 0:00:57.040 your kids. We've got someone on the show later today 0:00:57.120 --> 0:00:59.880 that is going to help someone to help you reduce 0:01:00.000 --> 0:01:03.680 that anxiety, manage that stress, improve that happiness. 0:01:04.000 --> 0:01:04.800 That's up next. 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:26.800 So I'm very lucky to be sitting here today with 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:30.720 doctor Jodie Richardson, who is a mum of two, a 0:01:31.200 --> 0:01:34.360 best selling author and I've got her two incredible books 0:01:34.400 --> 0:01:37.520 sitting here in front of me, A speaker and also 0:01:37.680 --> 0:01:42.160 hosts her own weekly podcast called Well Hello Anxiety and 0:01:42.200 --> 0:01:42.800 we are here. 0:01:43.120 --> 0:01:43.920 Jodie, welcome. 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:45.440 Thank you so much for having me. 0:01:46.040 --> 0:01:49.040 I think I would be safe in saying that after 0:01:49.080 --> 0:01:51.680 the last two years that we have all endured across 0:01:51.680 --> 0:01:56.040 Australian across the world, the word anxiety is probably coming 0:01:56.120 --> 0:01:57.480 up a lot more than it used to. 0:01:58.320 --> 0:02:00.680 So, how has and. 0:02:00.720 --> 0:02:02.840 Uncertainty and all of these bad news that we've been 0:02:02.920 --> 0:02:08.000 navigating impacted anxiety and what can we do to try 0:02:08.040 --> 0:02:09.600 and reduce our worries and anxiety? 0:02:10.040 --> 0:02:14.320 Unpredictability is such a huge driver of anxiety and uncertainty 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:17.440 because our brain registers threat and so the last two 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:22.600 years understandably have been really stressful for families, for children, 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:25.720 For professionals, it's been a really difficult couple of years 0:02:25.760 --> 0:02:28.600 because there's so much that we don't know, and even 0:02:28.720 --> 0:02:32.160 going into the start start of February in twenty twenty two, 0:02:32.200 --> 0:02:37.160 they're still unknowns and there's still expectations placed upon us 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:40.919 that are more ordinary for us in terms of rapid 0:02:40.919 --> 0:02:43.720 antigen testing and masks. But kids don't know if their 0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:45.480 teachers are always going to be there in their class 0:02:45.520 --> 0:02:47.839 if they get COVID and need to take some time off. 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:50.520 Kids don't know if they're going to be exposed to COVID. 0:02:50.680 --> 0:02:52.400 We as adults don't know if we're going to be 0:02:52.480 --> 0:02:55.480 homeschooling our kids again if they are exposed at school, 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:58.160 and that's going to bring another interruption into our lives. 0:02:58.200 --> 0:02:59.840 It just so much that we still don't know. 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:04.359 Life's never genuinely predictable anyway, but the last couple of 0:03:04.440 --> 0:03:06.480 years have certainly ampt that up, and I think it's 0:03:06.480 --> 0:03:08.320 good for people to know that anxiety is a really 0:03:08.320 --> 0:03:09.200 normal human emotion. 0:03:09.400 --> 0:03:11.400 We all experience it, but it's when we get stuck 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:12.440 that it's a problem. 0:03:12.680 --> 0:03:14.760 So I'm so glad you said, first of all, it's normal. 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:17.080 I'm really glad too that you brought up kids, because 0:03:17.800 --> 0:03:20.080 I think most of our listeners were probably nodding along 0:03:20.440 --> 0:03:23.400 thinking of their own situation over the last two years. 0:03:23.400 --> 0:03:27.560 But you are actually an expert in kids anxiety as 0:03:27.600 --> 0:03:29.760 well as adults anxiety. So the two books that I've 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:32.359 got sitting here in front of me are Anxious Mums 0:03:32.480 --> 0:03:35.320 and your best seller, which doesn't surprise me at all, 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:39.040 is Anxious Kids. Let's talk about the kids a little 0:03:39.080 --> 0:03:43.080 bit more, because I'm obviously a doting father of three 0:03:43.200 --> 0:03:46.839 soon to be four girls, and they're probably at either 0:03:46.920 --> 0:03:48.480 end of the spectrum, my four year old and my 0:03:48.600 --> 0:03:51.240 sixteen year old from anxiety perspective. I've got one little 0:03:51.240 --> 0:03:54.840 girl who's heading off to kindergarten and another little girl 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:57.520 who's starting her year eleven, which tends to be a 0:03:57.600 --> 0:04:02.000 very high pressure school year, and she's become quite disconnected 0:04:02.040 --> 0:04:04.720 over the last two years from that normal flow of 0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:09.120 preparation for those two big years, and socially disconnected from 0:04:09.120 --> 0:04:11.680 all of her friends and really missing that social aspective thing. 0:04:11.800 --> 0:04:15.800 So what should we be looking for as parents when 0:04:15.880 --> 0:04:17.480 it comes to anxiety with their children. 0:04:17.760 --> 0:04:19.279 The number one thing is avoidance. 0:04:19.360 --> 0:04:22.080 That when we feel anxious and uncomfortable about something, and 0:04:22.120 --> 0:04:26.400 when our kids feel anxious and uncertain, that avoidance often 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:27.640 becomes very clear. 0:04:27.440 --> 0:04:28.000 Very quickly. 0:04:28.560 --> 0:04:30.760 I don't want to go, I don't want to separate, 0:04:30.839 --> 0:04:33.320 I don't want to do it. Getting back into school 0:04:33.440 --> 0:04:35.160 is going to be really hard. Some kids have really 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:39.680 enjoyed being at home and having that predictable routine at 0:04:39.680 --> 0:04:41.800 home and not having the unpredictability of being in the 0:04:41.839 --> 0:04:44.559 social setting with kids at school, which can be really 0:04:44.640 --> 0:04:47.200 challenging for some kids depending on where they are socially 0:04:47.240 --> 0:04:50.800 and how they go at school. But other kids are 0:04:51.240 --> 0:04:53.600 feeling like getting back into school is something that they 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:55.400 know is good for them, but they're just not used 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:56.880 to it, and it's the start of a new school 0:04:56.920 --> 0:05:00.359 year and more challenges. What's the workload going to be 0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:02.360 like in year eleven? How am I going to manage 0:05:02.360 --> 0:05:04.400 that with all the other things that I'm doing? Am 0:05:04.400 --> 0:05:06.760 I going to be able to meet the expectations that 0:05:06.800 --> 0:05:09.159 I have on myself? You know, for older kids and 0:05:09.200 --> 0:05:11.080 for little kids, it's for some of them it's their 0:05:11.120 --> 0:05:15.680 first proper time in the classroom without lockdown looming having 0:05:15.720 --> 0:05:18.440 been something they've experienced or something that they've got coming up. 0:05:18.600 --> 0:05:21.640 So when it comes to anxiety, a huge thing to 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:24.359 look out for is that avoidance, And we know avoidance 0:05:24.400 --> 0:05:25.520 just amplifies anxiety. 0:05:25.560 --> 0:05:27.120 So it's something to help manage if you can. 0:05:27.560 --> 0:05:27.640 So. 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:30.640 Yeah, So the first part is to identify these things 0:05:30.680 --> 0:05:32.640 and the second part is to how do you deal 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:37.120 with it? So I come from a family of tough love. 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:39.800 You know, if I went to school and had a 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:43.400 crappy day, there would be no way. My mum was 0:05:43.440 --> 0:05:46.160 definitely more empathy sinsitive, I think. But then my mom 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:48.200 passed away when I was fifteen, and that was a 0:05:48.240 --> 0:05:50.680 bit of a tough nut, but it was I wouldn't 0:05:50.680 --> 0:05:53.120 have had any option to not go back to school 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:58.000 and face these things head on and now as a pair, 0:05:58.040 --> 0:06:01.359 And I wonder I think that was good for me. 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:04.800 I mean, and maybe you tell me I'm way off 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:07.640 track here, but I am really grateful that my dad 0:06:07.680 --> 0:06:10.560 made me go back and face those things head on 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:12.160 and not put my head in the sand and not 0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:15.000 run away from my problems and all these kind of things. 0:06:15.040 --> 0:06:17.160 I'm being a bit dramatic, but you know that's sort 0:06:17.160 --> 0:06:19.520 of what is. So what are you suggesting we do 0:06:19.520 --> 0:06:21.359 then without you? And when it comes to anxiety and 0:06:21.400 --> 0:06:22.600 this avoidance. 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:24.040 Issue, do you I think your dad was on the 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:24.599 right track. 0:06:24.680 --> 0:06:25.240 Absolutely. 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:28.200 I'm glad you said that because that's how I parent. 0:06:28.839 --> 0:06:31.320 And I wonder if that's a conscious decision that I've 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:34.839 made or just the apple not very far from the tree. 0:06:34.880 --> 0:06:37.280 But I do think there's something even in my subconscious 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:40.040 where I think. I think I'm a strong person, and 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:43.600 I can Actually I'm quite resilient, and I can navigate 0:06:43.640 --> 0:06:46.440 problems well because my dad made me deal with them 0:06:46.440 --> 0:06:49.000 at the time, and I've learnt these skills over time, 0:06:49.000 --> 0:06:51.720 Whereas if I just continued to avoid them and run 0:06:51.760 --> 0:06:53.400 away from them, I'd probably now be a bit of 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:55.719 a fish out of water whenever I'm facing these curve balls. 0:06:55.800 --> 0:06:57.800 Yeah, and we can work out how we manage that, 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:00.400 whether or not it's sometimes we do what's go a 0:07:00.440 --> 0:07:03.839 step ladder approach, which is, for a child that has 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:06.359 been refusing to go to school, sending them back to 0:07:06.520 --> 0:07:08.440 school full time is going to be too much for 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:11.320 the score of fusals. Obviously really serious and very difficult, 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:13.960 but it's about like dipping your toe in the water 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:16.559 step by step by step and breaking down a big 0:07:17.160 --> 0:07:20.320 challenge into smaller parts and helping a child experience the 0:07:20.360 --> 0:07:23.600 first small step and then becoming accustomed to the discomfort 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:26.720 that comes with maybe going and staying in the classroom 0:07:27.320 --> 0:07:29.520 for period one of the day and then coming home 0:07:29.640 --> 0:07:31.560 or spending some time in the library. So breaking it 0:07:31.640 --> 0:07:34.720 down but also really validating for kids how they feel, 0:07:34.760 --> 0:07:38.200 because when it's easy for us to say, don't worry 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:40.600 about it, or there's nothing to stress about, or it 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:43.400 will be okay. But when a child's feeling everything that 0:07:43.440 --> 0:07:46.480 comes with anxiety, which is all the physical sensations of 0:07:46.600 --> 0:07:50.280 racing heart, that edginess that we all know, then being 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:52.520 able to validate that for them is really powerful to 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:55.040 say I know that this is hard. I'm not trying 0:07:55.040 --> 0:07:56.520 to say to you that this is not hard, but 0:07:56.560 --> 0:07:59.000 I also know that you can do it, and we 0:07:59.480 --> 0:08:02.040 can work on this together, and so that gives that 0:08:02.120 --> 0:08:05.600 child that sense of hope and together with a parent 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:08.880 working towards this big goal, so eventually, over time they 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:11.560 can rise to that challenge and rise to other challenges 0:08:11.560 --> 0:08:14.480 that will no doubt come before them across their lives 0:08:14.480 --> 0:08:14.840 as well. 0:08:15.280 --> 0:08:18.720 I've just had an AHA moment because I do both 0:08:18.760 --> 0:08:20.760 of those things really well with my four year old. 0:08:20.920 --> 0:08:23.440 I don't do the validation very worth my sixteen year old, 0:08:23.440 --> 0:08:26.920 because I think there's something inside me that perhaps unfairly 0:08:27.640 --> 0:08:30.560 says she's old enough. I can be a bit more direct, 0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:34.520 as I'll say to her, Mavie, this is it's life. 0:08:34.600 --> 0:08:37.280 You know, like sometimetimes you have tough days at school. 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:40.040 You like, you know, I don't feel with her. I 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:41.559 just kind of go, you know, you're just gonna have 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:43.640 to suck this up and kind of face it, because 0:08:43.640 --> 0:08:44.760 that's last sweeting. 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:47.360 And you know it's if you don't face these things now, 0:08:47.400 --> 0:08:48.240 you're going to get into. 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:50.760 The workforce, and you can't just quit your job or 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:52.920 not go back to work if someone at work gives 0:08:52.920 --> 0:08:54.480 you a hard time. You know, like you feel like 0:08:54.520 --> 0:08:56.719 your job as a parent is of course they need 0:08:56.760 --> 0:08:58.120 to love you, but you're trying to prepare them for 0:08:58.400 --> 0:08:59.640 the big, wide, scary. 0:08:59.320 --> 0:09:01.640 World out there or whatever it is. 0:09:01.679 --> 0:09:04.600 And I'm a bit tough, and I feel like Snare's 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:07.040 my wife is a bit the other way, and maybe 0:09:07.080 --> 0:09:08.720 I overcompensate a little bit. 0:09:09.240 --> 0:09:12.360 I think EV's going to thank you a lot chat 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:14.920 one day. I mean, I always says, I know he 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:16.080 might be frustrated at me. Now. 0:09:16.120 --> 0:09:17.640 I just wanted to one day wake up when she's 0:09:17.679 --> 0:09:19.640 eighteen or nineteen or twenty three or whenever it is, 0:09:19.679 --> 0:09:22.280 and say, oh, thanks for being how you were when 0:09:22.320 --> 0:09:24.640 you were And I now actually get why you were 0:09:24.960 --> 0:09:26.640 how you were, even though at the time I thought 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:27.760 You're a bit tough on me. 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:31.120 So that's actually really nice here. So a lot of our. 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:33.600 Listeners won't have children, and they will have also been 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:37.439 experiencing anxiety. And we are obviously a fitness wellness podcast, 0:09:37.480 --> 0:09:40.040 so I'd love to talk to you about the link 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:44.680 between exercise and anxiety. I know you are a avid 0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:46.920 exerciser and a big fan of it, and I'd love 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:51.880 to understand from you why you think exercise can be 0:09:51.920 --> 0:09:56.200 so beneficial and what your tips are around exercise and 0:09:56.240 --> 0:09:58.840 how it can help with anxiety instress management. 0:09:59.000 --> 0:10:03.520 Oh gosh, exercise is the most unbelievable prescription for anyone 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:06.319 with anxiety. And one of the things to note about 0:10:06.320 --> 0:10:08.200 it is that it's the natural end to the fight 0:10:08.320 --> 0:10:11.160 or flight response. So when we become anxious, there's a 0:10:11.200 --> 0:10:13.480 part of our brain that's recognized a threat, and we 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:16.680 might not consciously detect that threat. It could just be 0:10:16.720 --> 0:10:19.880 too many emails in area, and a fight or flight 0:10:19.960 --> 0:10:22.400 response is switched on and it's preparing our body to 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:24.760 fight the threat or to run away from it. And 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:27.199 when we are actually just sitting at our laptops or 0:10:27.280 --> 0:10:29.839 lying in bed, then we're not putting all of those 0:10:29.920 --> 0:10:32.120 changes in our body to good use. And so exercise 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:34.440 is the natural end to the fight or flight response. 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:37.000 So not only does it help to dissipate the cortisol 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:42.320 and the adrenaline, we release so many amazing neurotransmitters. There's endocannabinoids, 0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:45.400 which really give us a sense of hope and optimism. 0:10:45.480 --> 0:10:48.520 So when you exercise, you feel good, you feel uplifted. 0:10:48.920 --> 0:10:51.560 Some people get a real euphoric feeling, a real runner 0:10:51.600 --> 0:10:52.040 is high. 0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:55.240 I get that. I feel amazing when I exercise. 0:10:55.160 --> 0:10:57.720 And it keeps me coming back for more. Others don't 0:10:57.760 --> 0:10:59.800 quite get that, and so well, maybe it's not for me. 0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:02.440 But what we know is it changes the brain. It 0:11:02.480 --> 0:11:06.680 increases resilience in the brain. Our brain releases it's called 0:11:06.760 --> 0:11:10.400 brain a derived neurotropic factor BDNF, which is like a 0:11:10.440 --> 0:11:12.920 miracle grow, like a fertilizer for our brain cells, so 0:11:13.000 --> 0:11:19.080 strengthening our neurons, strengthening connections. We also have another neurotransmitter released, 0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:22.280 which is called GABBA, and that is like putting on 0:11:22.320 --> 0:11:25.480 the brakes for the stress response. So there's all these 0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:28.960 amazing things going on in our brain. Also, one of 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:32.440 the things about exercise is that it mimics the anxiety response. 0:11:32.559 --> 0:11:36.840 So when we become anxious, our hearts rate, our breathing changes, 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:42.480 we get tense, we perspire, and we feel those feelings 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:45.720 and they make us feel tense and worried. We don't 0:11:45.920 --> 0:11:47.640 like it, and we want to do what we can 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:51.359 to not feel like that because we don't like those feelings. 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:54.520 But when we do exercise, we feel tense, our heart 0:11:54.600 --> 0:11:57.079 rate goes up, our breathing rate goes up, we perspire, 0:11:57.600 --> 0:12:02.640 And if we can reframe those sensations to be recognized 0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:05.520 as just merely feelings in the body and not have 0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:09.720 that story of anxiety around it, then exercise just develops 0:12:09.720 --> 0:12:13.440 this general resilience to that experience as well and helps 0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:14.400 us cope better. 0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:17.760 It's interesting, isn't it, Because a lot of us think 0:12:17.800 --> 0:12:20.000 we should be going through life trying to avoid stress, 0:12:20.320 --> 0:12:23.800 whereas as an exercise scientist, you know that you're actually 0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:27.520 doing yourself a favor putting your body under stress, adapting 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:29.920 to that stress, and growing and evolving and growing and 0:12:29.960 --> 0:12:31.719 growing and then handling the stress better and handling the 0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:34.640 stress better. And stress is good, you know. I mean, 0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:38.400 stress is such a dirty word and a negative word 0:12:38.520 --> 0:12:40.920 in the way it's used typically in our language, but 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:46.440 in fitness terms, stress is good. Does all exercise have 0:12:46.600 --> 0:12:47.720 those magic powers? 0:12:47.800 --> 0:12:49.359 You know? Would a light. 0:12:49.320 --> 0:12:52.640 Walk be as beneficial as a hard run or a 0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:56.040 hit session or a circuit where you're puffing and panting 0:12:56.240 --> 0:12:59.240 or is there a level here of the more stress 0:12:59.240 --> 0:13:01.440 I put myself on with a tougher workout, the better 0:13:01.480 --> 0:13:02.240 the benefits are. 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:02.480 Going to be. 0:13:02.800 --> 0:13:05.120 Yeah, there's certainly an element to that, And as you 0:13:05.440 --> 0:13:08.520 and I both know, it's about people working their way 0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:10.120 up towards working really hard. 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:11.520 And so I. 0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:13.760 Would say if you can get out, because the bonus 0:13:13.760 --> 0:13:16.120 of even going for a walk is you start to 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:16.560 get some. 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:17.319 Of those benefits. 0:13:17.360 --> 0:13:19.800 But if you're going outside, you're getting all the benefits 0:13:19.840 --> 0:13:22.960 of being in nature, which is so calming for our 0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:25.280 nervous system. If you're doing it with someone else, you've 0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:27.760 got that opportunity to connect, and it gives you that 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:31.600 accountability as well, So you've got those additional benefits. Because 0:13:31.640 --> 0:13:33.880 when when we look at happiness on the whole in 0:13:34.480 --> 0:13:36.760 our lives, it's our connections with other people and our 0:13:36.800 --> 0:13:39.800 relationships number one that bring us the most joy and 0:13:40.080 --> 0:13:44.360 meaning in our life. And so any exercise is good. 0:13:44.559 --> 0:13:47.520 And I always like to say to people, start, start small, 0:13:47.679 --> 0:13:50.319 and build up, and I used to show away a 0:13:50.360 --> 0:13:54.720 little bit from really encouraging people to increase the intensity. 0:13:54.760 --> 0:13:58.199 And you know, back when I was a PTE, I 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:01.199 would ease people in probably a little bit over too. 0:14:01.040 --> 0:14:01.680 Long a period. 0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:03.839 Whereas if you're safe and you've got the nod from 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:05.640 your dock and you're ready to do it, you build 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:10.240 up under professional guidance like your twenty eight program, and 0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:12.840 don't be afraid of building up to lifting. 0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:14.120 Heavy weights and to be working hard. 0:14:14.160 --> 0:14:16.440 I mean, I finish a CrossFit and I kid you, 0:14:16.480 --> 0:14:19.720 not on my back, like just feeling like, oh my gosh, 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:21.560 I can't believe my body just did that, and my 0:14:21.640 --> 0:14:23.600 heart is something out of my chest and I can't 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:26.880 even speak, but I just feel such a sense of accomplishment. 0:14:27.400 --> 0:14:31.320 I feel strong and I feel empowered. And so it's 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:34.400 finding the exercise that's the best fit for you, I 0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:36.840 think is the best advice, isn't it. And doing it 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:39.480 as a group program connecting with other people and being 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:42.200 a part of something also brings meaning to your life 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:44.680 and so you're going to be more likely to continue 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:47.720 with it. So it's just something I would love everybody 0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:50.640 to bring into part of their day. But don't give up. 0:14:50.680 --> 0:14:52.440 If you've tried one thing and it wasn't the right 0:14:52.440 --> 0:14:54.880 fit for you, You've got to keep going and finding 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:55.600 what works. 0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:57.160 Oh my god, there's so many things there. 0:14:57.680 --> 0:15:00.840 First of all, from an exercise science perspective, I love 0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:03.840 that you've said that, because I candidly think most people 0:15:03.960 --> 0:15:07.080 don't quite understand what their bodies are capable of, you know, 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:09.119 and they never they have gears. 0:15:08.840 --> 0:15:10.200 That they don't ever know they exist. 0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:12.160 Something I do want to talk to you about from 0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:16.480 a parenting perspective is pressure that parents put on themselves, 0:15:17.640 --> 0:15:20.880 the guilt that parents have. We've actually got a question 0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:26.000 from Sonya just about this topic, and she is asking 0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:26.800 about mum gilt. 0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:28.280 Maybe we take a question from Sonya. 0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:35.080 I've regained about seven to eight kilos and I'm trying 0:15:35.080 --> 0:15:37.760 to walk every day. I still try and eat healthy. 0:15:38.440 --> 0:15:41.520 I'm just lost. I guess how do I regain my focus? 0:15:42.440 --> 0:15:46.160 How do I, I guess, not feel guilty about putting 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:47.040 myself first? 0:15:47.120 --> 0:15:48.880 Again, that's a big question. 0:15:49.320 --> 0:15:51.960 You must have this question all the time, Sonya. 0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:55.400 It's really it's so common for mums in particular to 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:58.000 feel guilty, especially if we've got young children and we're 0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:00.280 starting to do the things that we might i'd have 0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:03.440 once done before we were before we were parents. And 0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:06.600 one of the things I'd like to say to you, Sonia, 0:16:06.680 --> 0:16:08.880 and anyone else who experiences this is the idea that 0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:12.880 it's really natural to feel all feelings, and that if 0:16:12.880 --> 0:16:15.040 you feeling guilty, it means that you care, means that 0:16:15.080 --> 0:16:17.640 you care about your child, It means that you care 0:16:17.640 --> 0:16:20.640 about what's important for you. And I would say to you, 0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:23.000 don't wait till you don't feel guilty to do what's 0:16:23.040 --> 0:16:27.480 really important. I remember when I was a new mum, 0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:30.120 I thought a good mum using air quotes because you 0:16:30.160 --> 0:16:32.920 can see this sort of podcast, I thought a good 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:36.400 mum spent pretty much every waking minute with their infant. 0:16:36.920 --> 0:16:40.480 And I was just absolutely ruining myself and I wasn't 0:16:40.520 --> 0:16:44.720 back into exercise. And when I really rediscovered my values 0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:48.640 and recognized that my mental health was not good story 0:16:48.640 --> 0:16:52.080 for another time, exercise was something that was missing. I 0:16:52.120 --> 0:16:53.880 found it really hard to go back to the gym 0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:57.360 and hand over my newborn to a stranger in the 0:16:57.400 --> 0:17:00.480 gym and do my workout, and I felt terribly guilty. 0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:03.480 But what I realized was that the way that I 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:07.320 felt after doing the exercise was preparing me and building 0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:10.640 my resilience and filling my cup to be a better parent, 0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:12.879 to be more present when I was back with him. 0:17:13.160 --> 0:17:15.800 And also what I found over the years is me 0:17:16.000 --> 0:17:18.520 filling my own cup and still being an individual as 0:17:18.560 --> 0:17:21.160 well as a parent, has role modeled for my kids 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:23.920 in the most extraordinary ways. And whilst I did a 0:17:23.960 --> 0:17:26.800 crossfeit work out on Monday, our son who's thirteen, went 0:17:26.840 --> 0:17:28.600 for his run and then he joined me at the 0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:31.600 CrossFit box and just sort of cheered everyone on and 0:17:31.720 --> 0:17:34.399 hung out with us. And I can see that my 0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:37.800 doing the things that have been important to me have 0:17:38.240 --> 0:17:41.720 really role modeled healthy behaviors and self care for my kids. 0:17:41.760 --> 0:17:44.600 And so, Sonia, i'd encourage you to think about when 0:17:44.640 --> 0:17:47.000 you are taking care of yourself, you're showing your kids 0:17:47.520 --> 0:17:50.120 also what it is that they can do to look 0:17:50.160 --> 0:17:53.680 after themselves, because if you give everything away to everyone else, 0:17:53.760 --> 0:17:56.680 then that's what you're teaching them as well. So all 0:17:56.720 --> 0:18:00.480 feelings are okay. Acknowledge that you feel guilty, think about 0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:04.199 what's important to you, and take steps to do that, 0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:07.000 and know that in doing that you're actually setting a 0:18:07.040 --> 0:18:08.240 fine example for your children. 0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:08.840 As well. 0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:11.080 I love that role modeling bit. That's something I hadn't 0:18:11.119 --> 0:18:14.399 thought of before. That's the icing on the cake, isn't it. 0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:16.720 I can't add anything else to that. I think that's 0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:21.959 absolutely spot on and I hope that helped Sonya. We 0:18:22.000 --> 0:18:25.480 talk about anxiety and we talk about reducing stress. What 0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:28.400 it really comes down to is how do we find happiness? 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:32.520 You know, that's really what you help people do a 0:18:32.520 --> 0:18:35.359 bit of a question without notice and quite a general question, 0:18:35.400 --> 0:18:38.080 but what are your top three or top five? You 0:18:38.080 --> 0:18:40.159 can have as many as you like GIFs on finding 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:41.600 happiness that you can kind of leave. 0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:42.119 Our listeners with. 0:18:42.560 --> 0:18:45.000 Well, what I would say first and foremost is to 0:18:45.080 --> 0:18:47.240 know that it's not actually natural to be happy all 0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:47.600 the time. 0:18:47.680 --> 0:18:49.040 Yeah, that's good, and. 0:18:48.880 --> 0:18:51.479