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Speaker 1: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.

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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast

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Speaker 2: for millennials who want financial freedom. My name is Tony Lodge,

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Speaker 2: and joining me as always for our Money Diary episode

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Speaker 2: is Victoria Divine author extraordinary woofed.

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Speaker 3: Can we stop talking about that though? Like everyone now? No, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: we're over it? Okay, No, I'm kidding.

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Speaker 2: Online online Masterclass extraordinary.

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Speaker 4: Well, actually, let's jump straight into this one because you

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Speaker 4: have said it's going to be a goodie and I

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Speaker 4: genuinely can't wait to hear her story because you said

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Speaker 4: that you can relate to it, but I don't know

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Speaker 4: why yet.

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Speaker 2: You're right, I do relate to this one. So I

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Speaker 2: just want to quickly say that we talk about losing

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Speaker 2: a parent quite excentively today, So if that might trigger

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Speaker 2: you or upset you, then maybe hit stop and we'll

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Speaker 2: see you again next week.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely.

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Speaker 4: I'm glad that you put that in though, because that

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Speaker 4: can be a topic that some people don't want to

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Speaker 4: talk about, Tony.

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Speaker 3: So with that in mind, let's get straight to her email.

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Speaker 3: All right, here we go.

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Speaker 2: Hi, She's on the Money team. This is my money story.

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Speaker 2: I've been a bit afraid to write down. I was

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Speaker 2: made to leave home at eighteen, unfortunately after my mother

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Speaker 2: passed away and had to rent a flat with my

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Speaker 2: sister in tow all within that made terrible money habits

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Speaker 2: and got into some pretty bad debt. At twenty six,

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Speaker 2: I moved to Perth from New Zealand and had to

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Speaker 2: pull my shit together. After a year in Perth, we

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Speaker 2: left and ended up in Brisbane. My partner at the

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Speaker 2: time was so good with money it scared me. He

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Speaker 2: had only one vision, which was to buy a house

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Speaker 2: and do nothing else. We ended up breaking up, and

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Speaker 2: the breakup was tough. I had nothing and he had

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Speaker 2: everything plus more. I had to really buckle down and

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Speaker 2: save and pay off some debts living in Brisbane getting

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Speaker 2: paid pretty well from where I started. I have had

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Speaker 2: a few setbacks, but I'm working towards a bigger money goal,

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Speaker 2: which is not living paycheck to paycheck and paying off

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Speaker 2: my credit card completely. A massive thank you to She's

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Speaker 2: on the Money for helping me get through it all.

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Speaker 2: I've been an OJ listener, Oh my gosh, and as

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Speaker 2: always we have our money diarist on the phone. Hello

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Speaker 2: Money Diarist, Hey guys, Oh it's so nice to have you.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for sending in your story. It's

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Speaker 2: one that is quite familiar to me. And yeah, we

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Speaker 2: just really appreciate you sending that into us.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's really special that you wanted to share that

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Speaker 4: with us.

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Speaker 5: Totally. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited to talk to you, guys, Welsh, I'm.

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Speaker 4: So excited to talk to you to Let's jump straight

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Speaker 4: into it with the structured questions and then we can

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Speaker 4: have a chat about everything else after that. So, as always,

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Speaker 4: first things first, what is your attitude towards money.

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Speaker 5: I My attitude towards money has changed the past year.

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Speaker 5: I used to be really really afraid of it, super afraid,

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Speaker 5: never enough and yeah, but certainly in the last year

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Speaker 5: it's not scared me so much. I'm still a little

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Speaker 5: scared of it, but yeah, because it comes I know

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Speaker 5: that more will come in at the moment.

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Speaker 2: So do you mean scared, like feeling scared that you

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Speaker 2: like wouldn't have enough or yeah.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, from just unfortunately not going up for you know, obviously,

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Speaker 5: I've got quite a lot of brothers and sisters and

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Speaker 5: we always were okay, but never never came from a

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Speaker 5: wealthy family. So and obviously being a bad habits. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: still kind of crept up on me. So it's been

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Speaker 5: a little bit scared of money.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's fair, and I guess that really leans into

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Speaker 4: your money story and where you've come from.

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Speaker 3: And where you're going now.

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Speaker 4: And like I love when people have that level of introspection,

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Speaker 4: You're like, hey, cool, like this is. I had heaps

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Speaker 4: of brothers and sisters and this was. And that's why

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Speaker 4: I've always been scared of it. Like learning that about

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Speaker 4: yourself can be so powerful, and just knowing why you

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Speaker 4: make decisions or why you feel that way can make

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Speaker 4: you feel even more empowered about moving forward and making

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Speaker 4: changes instead of going, oh it's so scary because it's not.

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Speaker 4: Yeah anyway, next question is what do you do for work?

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Speaker 4: And how much money do you earn?

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Speaker 5: So great question. I have actually just changed dop so exciting.

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Speaker 5: So I don't know if you want to know my

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Speaker 5: previous because.

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Speaker 3: I want to know as much as you'll give us.

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Speaker 3: We're really pervy. What have you got for us? What

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Speaker 3: did you do before? What do you do now? How

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Speaker 3: much money do you have?

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Speaker 5: So previously I work, I work in banking, and previously

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Speaker 5: as a senior consultant in a call center and I

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Speaker 5: was on a wage and roughly and I only know

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Speaker 5: this because I checked my pacelip. I earned eighty one

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Speaker 5: thousand dollars in the past year.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's so good. It's good on you for checking

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Speaker 3: and Pasley.

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Speaker 5: And I've actually liked it. Have just changed jobs literally

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Speaker 5: this week, and it's actually a really good push for me,

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Speaker 5: as everyone was talking about this in the community on Facebook,

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Speaker 5: about changing jobs and actually having a decrease in wage,

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Speaker 5: and I've actually changed jobs for the better for my

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Speaker 5: mental health and having a social life and everything. So

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Speaker 5: my new job pays sixty four thousand, so quite a yeah.

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Speaker 5: So I'm going to have to get used to life

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Speaker 5: with a slightly less way.

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Speaker 3: And that's okay.

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Speaker 4: But I love that you put your mental health first, because,

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Speaker 4: to be honest, all the money in the world cannot

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Speaker 4: make you feel happy, can't make you feel enriched and

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Speaker 4: like that. Yeah, I just really cannot speak highly enough

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Speaker 4: of not just chasing money.

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Speaker 5: And especially with unfortunately my except before we were doing

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Speaker 5: as money money, money, and now I'm like, you know,

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Speaker 5: what's actually more about how to live than money. So

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Speaker 5: I think that's really bad.

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Speaker 2: And you speak time at work than you do at home,

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Speaker 2: so you might as well be happy there.

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Speaker 5: So I'm very happy. It's all that scary and changing,

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Speaker 5: but it will be I think it will work out

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Speaker 5: for the bit there, I think.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I love that all right. Next question

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Speaker 4: is what is your big money goal.

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Speaker 5: My biggest money goal right now is to pay off

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Speaker 5: my credit cards. I have a small personal loan back

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Speaker 5: in New Zealand to pay that off.

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Speaker 4: And come on, don't just need a small personal loan.

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Speaker 4: That doesn't help me.

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Speaker 5: It was so I'm actually pretty peppy. So it was

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Speaker 5: at thirty thousand when I least New Dylan five years ago.

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Speaker 5: It's now down to six thousand. What yes, So that's

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Speaker 5: that's been a huge thing for me to try and

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Speaker 5: smash that out. I do have a Cluit card as well,

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Speaker 5: and I'm actually and it's a weird, but I've got

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Speaker 5: a credit card which its inter three, so I've got

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Speaker 5: a limit, the limits quite high, but I don't obviously

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Speaker 5: use it and it's sets six thousand as well, so

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Speaker 5: they're pretty on path just trying to smash them out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, awesome. I love that.

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Speaker 4: You know, like what the interest rate is and that

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Speaker 4: that one's interest free, and that you've smashed out so

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Speaker 4: much thus far, like.

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Speaker 3: That is epic.

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Speaker 4: All right, the next question, do you currently have any investments?

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Speaker 5: No? I well, technically from your point of view, Victoria,

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Speaker 5: I have super so technically year.

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Speaker 3: Yes, you definitely do.

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Speaker 5: Australia and New Zealand, so I've got two super funds.

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Speaker 5: I don't want to combine them yet because I'm not

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Speaker 5: sure what the future is going to hold. I want

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Speaker 5: to make sure that I have if I go back

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Speaker 5: to Zeland. I've got something veer and obviously I want

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Speaker 5: to have a little news speak here, but I don't

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Speaker 5: currently invest in any other platform.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, awesome, And I think that that's a really important

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Speaker 4: point to make. One Yes, your super is absolutely an investment.

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Speaker 4: But two, I actually like that you're not investing while

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Speaker 4: in debt, because paying down debt in itself is an

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Speaker 4: investment in yourself. And I know you said that there's

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Speaker 4: no interest rate on the credit card that you've got

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Speaker 4: right now, but I guarantee you that won't be forever.

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Speaker 4: It'll just be for a short period of time and

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Speaker 4: then it will revert to probably some incredibly high interest

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Speaker 4: rate and you'll have to think about it if you

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Speaker 4: haven't paid it off by then. But let's say it's

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Speaker 4: fourteen percent. Like you do not get investments that can

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Speaker 4: guarantee a fourteen percent return, But I can guarantee you

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Speaker 4: that if you pay off your debt right now and

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Speaker 4: you start allocating it towards paying off debt, that's like

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Speaker 4: fourteen percent that you're saving for future.

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Speaker 3: You like, that's a great investment return, and we really

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Speaker 3: need to be seeing it that.

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Speaker 4: Way because so many people are like, yep, I'm just

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Speaker 4: smashing down debt, but it's taking me a bit longer

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Speaker 4: because I'm investing on the side, and I go, look,

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Speaker 4: you know, you do you It's all about your values

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Speaker 4: and what makes you happy. But that financially often doesn't

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Speaker 4: stack up because while you're, you know, investing, and maybe

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Speaker 4: you're getting like seven and a half or ten percent return,

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Speaker 4: you're putting off paying fourteen percent off on your credit

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Speaker 4: card by only paying them and repayment so that you

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Speaker 4: can quoite leave your best life, Whereas in reality, you're

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Speaker 4: going to be better off financially if you pay off

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Speaker 4: your debt first and then start investing when you've got

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Speaker 4: that clean slate. Anyway, that's my sidetrack. I'm sorry about that.

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Speaker 4: I was going to say, next question is do you

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Speaker 4: have any debts? But you literally just told us about

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Speaker 4: your debt.

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Speaker 2: We're not going to play stupid.

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Speaker 3: We already know, so, oh my god, do you have

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Speaker 3: any debts? Like?

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Speaker 4: Oh no, actually I just paid them off, all right,

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Speaker 4: So we will skip straight.

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Speaker 3: To what is your best money habit?

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Speaker 5: My best money habit is believing that I'm always poor,

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Speaker 5: so I will seek out the best deal. I will

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Speaker 5: not buy lunch, I will not blurge on anything. I

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Speaker 5: am very, very frugal. So all my friends and family

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Speaker 5: always do comments and I often say unnecessary spending, like

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Speaker 5: if we're going out shopping or something, I will not

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Speaker 5: buy that because it's not necessary spending.

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Speaker 3: I really like that.

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Speaker 4: Like living with a frugal mindset is very important, and

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Speaker 4: it's something that not many of us can do. Let's

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Speaker 4: be honest, Like, once you get out of it, you're

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Speaker 4: more likely to spend more.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know that that's true for so many people.

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Speaker 2: We chattoo that they say I started earning more money

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Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden, my rent was twice

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Speaker 2: as much because I thought I'll live in a bit

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Speaker 2: nicer neighborhood or a bit nicer apartment building, all whatever.

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Speaker 2: So it's not easy to maintain that same mindset of

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Speaker 2: like being a UNI students.

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Speaker 4: Creep my friends. Yeah, all right, what is your worst

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Speaker 4: money habit?

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Speaker 5: So I have been thinking about the sights. We have two,

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Speaker 5: and they're quite different. I feel to other money dorists,

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Speaker 5: oh what are they? My worst one is actually seen

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Speaker 5: a lot of money on tatoo.

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Speaker 4: Tattoo okay, locations to tattoo, Yeah, because I.

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Speaker 3: Feel like I could stump you.

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Speaker 5: I still have an arm and a league to go.

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Speaker 5: But I yeah, so, I mean unfortunately because it's quite well,

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Speaker 5: not unfortunately, but because I love art and get beautiful art.

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Speaker 5: You know, obviously on my bloody it's very expensive and

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Speaker 5: people don't actually realize how much it is a sitting

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Speaker 5: and so expensive.

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Speaker 4: Any tattoos, well, actually I do. They're my eyebrows.

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Speaker 5: Yep.

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Speaker 2: I I was like, have you got some secret tattoo

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Speaker 2: on your bum? And something I've never seen? I got

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Speaker 2: really excited. Then I thought, oh money doarist here's the

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Speaker 2: inside Scooper about to see Victoria's bum.

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Speaker 4: I'm too conservative, not as in conservative in that I

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Speaker 4: don't believe in tattoos. I've always wanted one, but I

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Speaker 4: can't commit. You're too sad that you're scared, and I'll

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Speaker 4: like get it and regret it, and yeah that's why.

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Speaker 4: But here I am getting tattoos on my face, okay, which,

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Speaker 4: oh they're expensive too, mind. Yeah, so that's where all

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Speaker 4: her money is going, I feel you.

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Speaker 5: My other one is I'm a huge book nerd. So

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Speaker 5: I've spent a lot of money on books.

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Speaker 3: I'm a recommendation for you.

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Speaker 5: You know, some one by miss Victory Devine, She's already

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Speaker 5: got it.

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Speaker 3: It was Grit by Angela Duckworth.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, it was Where the Crawl Dad Sing.

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Speaker 3: That's the only other book that I can think of.

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Speaker 3: Harry Potter.

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Speaker 5: Harry, Well, that's my I love Harry. That's my oposition.

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Speaker 5: That's all my tatoos. One.

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Speaker 4: Really, we're gonna slowly wear down the anonymity of our money.

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Speaker 2: People are like, hey, were your money darist last week?

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Speaker 3: You're like, no, I don't know who that was. I

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Speaker 3: just have a snitch or my forehead.

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Speaker 2: I think as far as bad money habits go, like,

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Speaker 2: it's funny that you said I treat myself that like

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Speaker 2: I'm poor, and you know, it makes me think, how.

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Speaker 3: Do you give yourself self care? Then?

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Speaker 2: But it's kind of like the things that are your

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Speaker 2: version of self care you consider your worst money habits.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, totally silly, my friend, because we all have different values, right,

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Speaker 4: and different vices.

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Speaker 2: You know, like if your vice is buying buying a

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Speaker 2: new book, and you know, getting a tattoo or whatever.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's the same as somebody going, oh, I

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Speaker 2: love an expensive bottle of champagne. I drink one a

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Speaker 2: week because that's my favorite thing to do. Makes me

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Speaker 2: feel great. I sit in the bath and drink bubbles.

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Speaker 3: Do you do you know I don't.

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Speaker 2: We should start Not only do I not have a bath,

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Speaker 2: but I can't hold the champagne.

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Speaker 3: Aren't subtle stab at her employer there? I like that.

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Speaker 3: I like that, Tony. Don't think that when unnoticed.

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Speaker 2: But with the discretionary spending that made you feel like bad,

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Speaker 2: it just sucks that they're off on the first things

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Speaker 2: that we pull out of our budget when we go, oh,

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Speaker 2: we need to save, So they're the first things that

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Speaker 2: you lose, are like the fun stuff that you like.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's all right, all right, So next and final

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Speaker 4: question before we get into asking you a million other

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Speaker 4: questions is what grade would you give yourself if we

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Speaker 4: forced you to give yourself a money grade?

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Speaker 5: Looking all on a stair, Probably give myself C C. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: I feel like I'm still learning. I'm certainly not saving

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Speaker 5: a lot for I'm fifting. I definitely have more to learn,

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Speaker 5: so I think I think definitely in the coming months

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Speaker 5: and hopefully years, I will definitely get up there to

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Speaker 5: an A. But right now, I think I think I'm

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Speaker 5: about to see you're on the way.

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Speaker 3: I like that. Yeah, I liked it.

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Speaker 4: You're like, nope, like this is why and this is how,

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Speaker 4: and I'm working.

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Speaker 3: Towards that A. I really like that.

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Speaker 4: It makes me excited when people have actually put thought

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Speaker 4: into it, like.

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Speaker 2: And they're not just like I'm a A. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: well maybe not.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe not so.

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Speaker 4: But also I like when you can say this is why,

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Speaker 4: because it shows this level of introspection that you've actually

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Speaker 4: thought about it, not just like, oh, I think I'm

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Speaker 4: a B and I'll be like why and they're like, oh,

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Speaker 4: it just sounds like a good letter to give myself. Okay, anyway,

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Speaker 4: let's ask you a whole heap of other questions right.

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Speaker 3: After quick break.

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Speaker 4: All right, so we've asked you a whole heap of

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Speaker 4: questions about your money situation and what's going on. But

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Speaker 4: in the back of my mind, I really want to

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Speaker 4: talk about your mom. I want to ask about her

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Speaker 4: and what she was like and what kind of person

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Speaker 4: she was, because obviously you're, you know, let's be honest,

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Speaker 4: losing a mum really early. I can't empathize with I

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Speaker 4: haven't lost my mum and I you know, she's really

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Speaker 4: special to me, so I can't imagine doing that. But Tony,

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Speaker 4: you have lost your mom, and you guys lost your

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Speaker 4: mom at the same age. Yeah, we did mistake him,

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Speaker 4: and so I would love to note one about your mum,

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Speaker 4: but two like how did that impact you? How did

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Speaker 4: that change your money story? Like did that have something to.

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Speaker 3: Do with you moving?

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Speaker 4: Like talk us through that process, because I think it's

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Speaker 4: often quite taboo too. You know, it's not to boon,

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Speaker 4: and it shouldn't, but it's often quite taboo to ask

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Speaker 4: someone about a parent that might have passed away, when

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Speaker 4: in reality, it's one of the most complimentary things you

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Speaker 4: can do.

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Speaker 3: That all you want to talk about, Yeah, you're like,

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Speaker 3: what was your mom like?

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Speaker 4: And like I know all about Liz, Like Liz and

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Speaker 4: I are already friends, like I've decided, but like, what

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Speaker 4: was your mom like?

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Speaker 3: Tell us?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, oh, and I really appreciate you asking, because you're right,

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Speaker 5: most people are really scared once they find out or

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Speaker 5: anything like that. So my mum was crazy. She was

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Speaker 5: absolutely fabulous. She was very young as well when she

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Speaker 5: had us, Me and my sister very young, so I

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Speaker 5: think growing up we didn't have a lot of money.

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Speaker 5: And I don't want to say her make her said

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Speaker 5: story even better. We me and my sister, we actually

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Speaker 5: lost our dad when I was eight, That's yeah, it was.

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Speaker 5: It was a pretty crapy. I mean, obviously it's pretty young,

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Speaker 5: but when mom passed, that was it. And at eighteen

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Speaker 5: I had to really grow up. I had a seventeen

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Speaker 5: year old sister look after and she didn't die suddenly.

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Speaker 5: Mum had cancer and you know, obviously progressed. It was awful.

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Speaker 5: But Mum was thirty nine when she died, so you know,

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Speaker 5: nine years so in my head money and she Mum's

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Speaker 5: a little bit naughty and just said, you know what

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Speaker 5: we're gonna We're going to die at one stage just

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Speaker 5: spend it so really really young age just thought, well,

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Speaker 5: we might as well spend, enjoy the money, go out.

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Speaker 5: I used to spend a lot of money.

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Speaker 4: On my car.

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Speaker 5: And and honestly she was having a great time close and

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Speaker 5: not really understanding the concept of why we're saving, and

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Speaker 5: that put me obviously set me up quite bad for

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Speaker 5: a good ten years. And now I'm only finally figuring out, hey,

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Speaker 5: I've actually got to figure you know, why am I

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Speaker 5: doing this? And it's actually taken obviously. I was listening

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Speaker 5: to when I found your podcast all that time ago

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Speaker 5: and listened to the money Story, you know, the money

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Speaker 5: story part that you first did. I was like, wow, okay,

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Speaker 5: this makes sense. And I really started writing stuff down

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Speaker 5: and figuring out why am I like this and trying

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Speaker 5: to really imprint it on my sister as well, because

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Speaker 5: she is very like my mum spend a lot of money.

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Speaker 5: She would hate for me to obviously outhurd that she

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Speaker 5: knows that it's a change, and I always always seen

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Speaker 5: through your podcast and she does eventually listen.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I loved that. That's so kind of

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Speaker 4: you to say and to share as well. But it

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Speaker 4: does really make sense, right, Like, you hear this story,

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Speaker 4: and you know, if you look back on the questions

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00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:26,040
Speaker 4: that we've just asked you, like saying I was in

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Speaker 4: thirty thousand dollars worth of debt, here are my values,

380
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Speaker 4: this is what's going on. Like so many people can

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Speaker 4: so quickly jump to a judgment of like, oh, well

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Speaker 4: that's quite irresponsible.

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Speaker 3: You go, well, actually, you don't know anything about the person.

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Speaker 4: You don't know the background, you don't know how you've

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Speaker 4: gotten there, and it doesn't serve anyone. It doesn't help anyone,

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Speaker 4: It doesn't help empathize with the situation. And to be honest,

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Speaker 4: if you're saying that you were living in line with

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Speaker 4: the values that your mum had, I guarantee you you

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Speaker 4: wouldn't regret the decisions you were making when she was

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Speaker 4: still around, right, Like you weren't going to change that.

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Speaker 4: You were just doing the best you had with the

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Speaker 4: tools and resources you had at the time. And I

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00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:02,720
Speaker 4: think that's really powerful, and I think we don't give

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Speaker 4: people enough credit when that's the case. So I love

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Speaker 4: asking and just being like, well, you know, how did

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Speaker 4: that happen? You're like, yeah, mum was crazy, Like you know,

397
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,040
Speaker 4: she just lived in the moment and had a really

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00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:17,240
Speaker 4: good time. And you know, obviously, let's be honest, that

399
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,600
Speaker 4: worked out for her because living in the moment, like

400
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,720
Speaker 4: long term, if she was saving for retirement, she wouldn't

401
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:26,320
Speaker 4: have been able to seize that opportunity. But it hasn't

402
00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:29,080
Speaker 4: been a positive thing for you guys, who hopefully will

403
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,040
Speaker 4: never be in the same situation as she's gone through.

404
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:33,919
Speaker 3: And yeah, I think it's really.

405
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,000
Speaker 4: Special to be able to talk about this stuff and

406
00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:39,080
Speaker 4: talk about how that works without feeling like we're treading

407
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:42,200
Speaker 4: on anyone's toes or offending anybody when asking like, hey,

408
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Speaker 4: like your mom passed away, that's really shit, Like I've

409
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,879
Speaker 4: got nothing to say to that, but what was she?

410
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Speaker 5: Like?

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Speaker 4: How can I learn from your story?

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Speaker 2: I think as well saying oh, you being in debts

413
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,960
Speaker 2: really are responsible? Or what you did around the time

414
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Speaker 2: of your mom passing when I was really irresponsible, Like

415
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:02,040
Speaker 2: we were similar ages, and I know that after that happens,

416
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:05,640
Speaker 2: you just feel so out of control, like you actually

417
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:09,000
Speaker 2: just and you do kind of feel like you need

418
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Speaker 2: to take on this thing, like I could die at

419
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Speaker 2: any minute. My Mum's gone now, and like I need

420
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Speaker 2: to enjoy myself. I need to have fun and I

421
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,440
Speaker 2: need to do all the crazy things that I ever

422
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Speaker 2: wanted to do. And it takes like a while before

423
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Speaker 2: that kind of part of you settles down and you go, Okay, well,

424
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Speaker 2: I'm actually still here and I do have a future

425
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Speaker 2: I need to plan for, and like, it does take

426
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Speaker 2: a long time to get your head around the fact

427
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 2: that I guess it's part of the grieving process is

428
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Speaker 2: that you need to come to terms with the fact

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Speaker 2: that you are still here and you do need to

430
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Speaker 2: enjoy yourself, but you also need to be responsible. And it's, yeah,

431
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Speaker 2: just that out of control feeling. It's funny that you

432
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Speaker 2: said you don't know the background, because often people that

433
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Speaker 2: do go through grief at a really young age do

434
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Speaker 2: end up in like a bit of financial strife because

435
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Speaker 2: it's really hard to control your emotions.

436
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Speaker 4: And it's really easy to get into debt. So easy

437
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,639
Speaker 4: to get into debt, like credit cards are very easy

438
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,320
Speaker 4: to apply for and get, and they often take a

439
00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:09,160
Speaker 4: lot of the pressure off you for having to earn

440
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 4: that money. You can just enjoy life. You can deal

441
00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:14,120
Speaker 4: with it later, Like it doesn't matter, I'll just chuck

442
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,080
Speaker 4: it on there we'll talk about it later, or.

443
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,480
Speaker 2: Even thinking I need to work less right now because

444
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,639
Speaker 2: I need to spend time with my family, or you know,

445
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,800
Speaker 2: all of those things. Money is the biggest pressure around

446
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:27,600
Speaker 2: people passing away, whether it's paying bills or if they were,

447
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:30,760
Speaker 2: you know, supporting you, which was your situation, which is

448
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:34,720
Speaker 2: it's so heartbreaking, and I can't even imagine how difficult

449
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,560
Speaker 2: that must have been for you to then have to

450
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:39,120
Speaker 2: support your sister as well, you know, like that would

451
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 2: have just been such a massive pressure. And I don't

452
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,600
Speaker 2: want to say burden, because it isn't a burden, but

453
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,600
Speaker 2: it just is that massive like weight on your shoulders.

454
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:51,000
Speaker 5: And I think Assoshi at eighteen, like I didn't realize

455
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:54,840
Speaker 5: how expensive power and you know, like and a ringting

456
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 5: and we had to buy everything. We had a bed each,

457
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:58,479
Speaker 5: that's what we had, so we had to buy all

458
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:02,640
Speaker 5: the clients couches and TV like we're a small fourteen

459
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 5: inch TV for a long time because we just had

460
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:09,760
Speaker 5: nothing else. And we're lucky enough. We had like a

461
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,120
Speaker 5: flatmate that came with us. But we were all wild.

462
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 5: Like when I say wild, I don't mean partying and

463
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 5: drinking all the time, but just really irresponsible, but.

464
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:24,320
Speaker 6: Everyone's irresponsible age expected to be a parent, like, and

465
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:26,359
Speaker 6: lots of people, you know, they do have kids at

466
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:29,199
Speaker 6: eighteen and they become parents, but you didn't choose to

467
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:31,520
Speaker 6: become a parent of a seventeen year old.

468
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 3: And you didn't. Like, it's really hard to be thrown

469
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 3: into the.

470
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,560
Speaker 4: Midst of that while grieving, because you also feel like

471
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,520
Speaker 4: you have to be that person that's stable for your sibling,

472
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 4: and like it's just a lot of responsibility that you

473
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 4: know you wouldn't change for the world, I'm sure. But

474
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:50,720
Speaker 4: also people just don't realize how taxing that can be

475
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 4: on other people.

476
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,400
Speaker 5: You know. Wrong, Yeah, but it all worked out, thankfully.

477
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:56,200
Speaker 5: I'm still here.

478
00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I feel like your attitude towards money, Like,

479
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 4: going back to the very start of this episode, you

480
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:05,640
Speaker 4: said that you were, you know, taking a lower paying

481
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:09,439
Speaker 4: job because you really value life and family and you know,

482
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,639
Speaker 4: living life on your terms. And it just makes so

483
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:14,399
Speaker 4: much sense that that is your approach and that you

484
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 4: know money isn't the thing that you're chasing, and that yeah,

485
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 4: I've still got debt, but I'm actually making this decision

486
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:20,680
Speaker 4: for me, and it makes.

487
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,719
Speaker 3: Your priority is yourselflf.

488
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:25,040
Speaker 4: That I love that because I feel like too many

489
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:27,119
Speaker 4: times I've run into people who have gone through this

490
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 4: situation and you know, they don't have a parent anymore,

491
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 4: and to flip the narrative, they're now backflipping because they've

492
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,440
Speaker 4: gone through that, they've been in debt, and now they're

493
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:39,480
Speaker 4: chasing the highest paying job and they're sacrificing absolutely everything

494
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 4: to get out of that debt because they go, oh

495
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,439
Speaker 4: my gosh, I've wasted so much time and it's not

496
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 4: the case like we can get out of this debt.

497
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,639
Speaker 4: We can, you know, work towards it. And I just

498
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,200
Speaker 4: think that it's really special to be able to do.

499
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 5: That, and I think like, thankfully for me, my new

500
00:23:56,119 --> 00:24:00,920
Speaker 5: partner is super amazing and very supportive and understands where

501
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 5: I come from money story wise, whereas my ex partner

502
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:09,719
Speaker 5: unfortunately didn't, and they were very concerned. You know, all

503
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,960
Speaker 5: they wanted to do was my house and trained, you know,

504
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,399
Speaker 5: really really try to drum that into me. Whereas my

505
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:19,240
Speaker 5: current partner is amazing and she understands that actually, you know,

506
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 5: we've got to live and actually enjoy life and enjoy

507
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 5: the little things and enjoy weekend. You know, I came

508
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,399
Speaker 5: from a job that would work three weekends in a

509
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 5: like in a month, and late nights and early starts

510
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 5: and all this kind of you know, I want to

511
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 5: say call center was mad, you know, worked because it was,

512
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:40,879
Speaker 5: and it was also a really mentally challenging job. And

513
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 5: like you said a couple of weeks ago on the

514
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 5: on an episode, is I think, actually, Tony you said

515
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,320
Speaker 5: it is that people on the phones are you know,

516
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:52,960
Speaker 5: they're actually people. So when people are calling up these

517
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:55,959
Speaker 5: call centers and screaming and yelling at them, we're actually

518
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:56,720
Speaker 5: people as well.

519
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:01,920
Speaker 3: A hundred percent you are, like you or just understanding that.

520
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,159
Speaker 4: Like if someone calls, and especially the bank, they're like,

521
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 4: I don't want this interest.

522
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 3: You're kind of like, girl, I don't want you to

523
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:08,160
Speaker 3: have interest etail, but I don't want I got either.

524
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 3: I got to follow the process.

525
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 4: And the process is this, and I can help you

526
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 4: here or I cannot help you, Like, don't yell at

527
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:15,440
Speaker 4: people on the phone.

528
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 3: It's not their fault.

529
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,920
Speaker 5: I think coming from a job from that to being

530
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:22,119
Speaker 5: away from helm not in health to serve anymore is

531
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,399
Speaker 5: really going to be really greatful the mental health. And

532
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,160
Speaker 5: as much as I love people, I think it will

533
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 5: be a really nice if away from them.

534
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 2: I really excited for you that you took that leap

535
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,200
Speaker 2: of faith and just went, you know what, like being

536
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,199
Speaker 2: happy is just so much more important to me, Like,

537
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:39,679
Speaker 2: and you're pretty young as well. It takes lots of

538
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:43,719
Speaker 2: people many many, many years before they realize that they

539
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,800
Speaker 2: actually should prioritize their happiness over what kind of car

540
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 2: they've got or having the latest iPhone or whatever. And

541
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:51,719
Speaker 2: I know that I sound like, okay boom, I'm being like,

542
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,160
Speaker 2: oh the latest I've known, Like did you genes come

543
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:54,919
Speaker 2: with those rips?

544
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,719
Speaker 3: But it's true. That is true. You know.

545
00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:00,520
Speaker 2: It's this thing of like when you're young, you don't

546
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 2: really have that foresight to look into how it's going

547
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:04,520
Speaker 2: to be, but just.

548
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 4: Don't and we deserve it. And it's one of those

549
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 4: things that you don't learn. And I hope that you know,

550
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 4: over time, She's on the Money becomes a place where

551
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 4: if someone's going through something really tough, they know that

552
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:16,639
Speaker 4: we'll have maybe not all the answers, but like we

553
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 4: can point you in the right direction and help you

554
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:22,160
Speaker 4: on that journey. And so many people it's heartbreaking how

555
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 4: many people go through this, and you know, message me

556
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:26,719
Speaker 4: and say hey, they like I don't know what to do,

557
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:28,960
Speaker 4: but this has just happened, and I'm like, Okay, these

558
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 4: are the next steps. This is what's going to happen.

559
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:32,879
Speaker 4: And you know, I'm really grateful that I get to

560
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,359
Speaker 4: be that person for some people, because you know, if

561
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 4: you've just lost a parent, and as you said, you

562
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,800
Speaker 4: didn't have a dad on the scene either, because unfortunately

563
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 4: you lost him as well, Like sometimes you just need

564
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:46,000
Speaker 4: someone to tell you, hey, it's all right, these are

565
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:49,159
Speaker 4: the next steps. So yeah, no, I'm really grateful that

566
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 4: you've shared this story with us, and yeah, that's really special.

567
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:53,440
Speaker 3: So thank you.

568
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:55,560
Speaker 5: Thankful let me hear it.

569
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,800
Speaker 4: No, thank you for sharing it with us, and you know,

570
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:01,359
Speaker 4: letting us learn a bit about crazy mum and a

571
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:04,120
Speaker 4: bit about your journey and your debts and how much

572
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:06,560
Speaker 4: you earn, and like, it's just such a powerful story

573
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 4: to share. And I think our community is so much

574
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:12,439
Speaker 4: richer because these stories do get shared and we genuinely go,

575
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:14,679
Speaker 4: oh my gosh, you're right, like I would have so

576
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,160
Speaker 4: immediately jumped to going, how did you get into thirty

577
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:20,240
Speaker 4: thousand dollars worth of credit of our debt? Okay, no,

578
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:24,200
Speaker 4: there's usually a reason. People don't get into debt on purpose, ever,

579
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:25,199
Speaker 4: or choose to.

580
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 3: Nobody chooses that. Nobody would ever logically choose that.

581
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,800
Speaker 4: There's always a reason, and there's always a journey, and

582
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,760
Speaker 4: you don't know anything about anybody else until you've walked

583
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:35,719
Speaker 4: a mile in their shoes.

584
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:37,120
Speaker 3: So I think that that.

585
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 4: Tony is probably a really beautiful place to leave them.

586
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for sharing that with us. We

587
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 2: honestly really really appreciate it.

588
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:44,120
Speaker 3: All right.

589
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,639
Speaker 4: And as always, just before we head off, we'd like

590
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 4: to acknowledge and pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal into our

591
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 4: Austraight island of people's. They're the traditional custodians of the lands,

592
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:56,800
Speaker 4: the waterways and the skies all across Australia. We thank

593
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 4: you for sharing and for caring for the land on

594
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,359
Speaker 4: which we are able to learn. We pay respects to

595
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 4: elders past and present, and we share a friendship and

596
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:04,879
Speaker 4: our kindness.

597
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 2: The advice shared on She's on the Money is generally

598
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:11,760
Speaker 2: nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on

599
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,679
Speaker 2: the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not

600
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:17,640
Speaker 2: be relied upon to make an investment or a financial decision,

601
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:21,160
Speaker 2: and we promise that Victoria Devine is an authorized representative

602
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,880
Speaker 2: of Australia Pacific Funds Management Proprietary Limited ABM three four

603
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,760
Speaker 2: one three two four six three two five seven AFSL

604
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:29,880
Speaker 2: three three nine one five one.

605
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 3: Yay, that one's pretty good. Thank you. Thanks for cutting

606
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:33,400
Speaker 3: this episode.

607
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:36,480
Speaker 2: By the way, anytime alleged, truly anytime.

608
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:40,040
Speaker 3: It's like it's your job. Love. See you next week, guys,