1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:05,560 Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast. 2 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:09,119 Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just 3 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:10,959 Speaker 2: on answers now Gooday. 4 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: This is doctor Justin Coulson, the founder of Happy Families 5 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 1: dot com dot a you dades six, daughter's husband to 6 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,279 Speaker 1: one wife and the parenting expert and co host on 7 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 1: chan Lyne's Parental Guidance. Also the host of this podcast, 8 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,720 Speaker 1: that Happy Families Podcast. Thank you so much for listening 9 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 1: and allowing me into your life to hopefully be useful 10 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:32,520 Speaker 1: in making your family happier. Right now, school holidays in Queensland, 11 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 1: which means that I'm doing my best to spend as 12 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,240 Speaker 1: much time in the sunshine with Kylie and the girls 13 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:38,879 Speaker 1: as I can. Today I'm a Happy Family's podcast, a 14 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:41,760 Speaker 1: really special guest and somebody who's become a personal friend 15 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:44,160 Speaker 1: and certainly a friend of the podcast. Amantha Imbat. Doctor 16 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:49,200 Speaker 1: Amantha Imba has a business called Inventium and an absolutely 17 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:54,640 Speaker 1: fantastic podcast called How I Work. Amantha has got so 18 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:57,280 Speaker 1: much to offer the entire world. I love talking with 19 00:00:57,320 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: her and she joins me for today's Happy Family Lightning 20 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:06,800 Speaker 1: Round podcast. So Amantha joins me for a Lightning Round. Amantha, 21 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 1: you don't know what you're in for do you I'm scared? 22 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:10,319 Speaker 2: Should I be scared? 23 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:13,920 Speaker 1: No, you'll be fine. Tell us as we start this 24 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,760 Speaker 1: straight away, how many kids do you have and how 25 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: old are they. 26 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:20,280 Speaker 2: I've got one daughter, Frankie, who is eighth. 27 00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 1: Well that ruins my second question. Do you have a 28 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:23,119 Speaker 1: favorite child? 29 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,920 Speaker 2: Well, let me think about that. I think it's Frankie today. 30 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:31,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, next question for you. I deal number of kids. 31 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:38,160 Speaker 3: I am a very happy only child and I wanted 32 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 3: one child, so that would be one. That would be 33 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,880 Speaker 3: one because I had such a positive experience. But you know, 34 00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:46,680 Speaker 3: some days I go, oh, maybe it would have been 35 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 3: nice to have more, but I did choose one. 36 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 1: Okay, how do you rate yourself as a parent? 37 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:50,920 Speaker 2: Oh? 38 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:55,400 Speaker 3: God, there's always room for improvement. I think so, so 39 00:01:55,400 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 3: so much about it. I see a psychologist to bounce 40 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 3: around ideas with to be a better parent. So I 41 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 3: think I'm quite obsessive about it in like I think 42 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 3: a healthy way. But I would like to think because 43 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 3: I think about it so much and read so many 44 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 3: books about it, then maybe that makes me a little 45 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:17,520 Speaker 3: bit better than I think I am. 46 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 1: Okay, what's something great that your parents did that you've 47 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:24,519 Speaker 1: tried to continue in your parenting. 48 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,040 Speaker 3: The unconditional love and support, that would be the biggest thing. 49 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:30,120 Speaker 1: I love it. Okay, here's a tricky one, and this 50 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,839 Speaker 1: is particularly tricky because you're co parenting. You and your 51 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 1: partner are no longer together. Who's the better parent you 52 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,040 Speaker 1: or your partner? 53 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 2: Goodness? 54 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 3: For me? 55 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:42,520 Speaker 1: I love this question. 56 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 3: I can I answer this question without alienating the other partner. 57 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:55,880 Speaker 2: Or modesty aside? I think I'm doing pretty well well. 58 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,880 Speaker 1: You know you should push that modesty aside. I just 59 00:02:57,919 --> 00:03:00,160 Speaker 1: love asking that question so people can squirm, and you 60 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,960 Speaker 1: squirmed like everyone else. Thank you so much for that, Amantha. 61 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:06,520 Speaker 1: Next question, what's the hardest thing about being a parent? 62 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:11,160 Speaker 3: I think it's it's seeing your child struggle with something 63 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:15,280 Speaker 3: and knowing that one of the best things that you 64 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 3: can do is to not help them overcome it. Instead, 65 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:23,079 Speaker 3: you can empower them with the skills to get through 66 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,360 Speaker 3: it themselves. I really struggle with that. 67 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 1: I love that answer though. If you could spend an 68 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,920 Speaker 1: hour with your eight year old daughter Frankie at any age, 69 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,680 Speaker 1: what age would you choose and why? 70 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 3: I think the older she gets, the more I just 71 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 3: love our conversations. 72 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,600 Speaker 2: You know, the things that. 73 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 3: She says, it's like that, like, there's no one else 74 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 3: that I would prefer to have a chat with than Frankie, 75 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,800 Speaker 3: even though she's eight, and I anticipate that that will 76 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:58,240 Speaker 3: get better and better. 77 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 2: Maybe that will go for a dip in the team year, but. 78 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 3: I think if it continues on that trajectory, I think 79 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 3: it'd be pretty. 80 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:07,920 Speaker 2: Cool to chat to her when she's an adult. 81 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 1: Okay, so which age you haven't really answered the question. 82 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 2: I haven't answered the question at all. 83 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:16,440 Speaker 3: I'm going to say maybe when she's my age forty four, 84 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:20,359 Speaker 3: I would love to see what she has done in 85 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,320 Speaker 3: her life. And when I'm older. I can't do the 86 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:26,479 Speaker 3: maths on the spot, but that would be kind of cool. 87 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,720 Speaker 1: What's the ultimate joy for you as a parent? 88 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:33,360 Speaker 3: It's seeing Frankie laugh and her sense of humor. She'd like, 89 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,320 Speaker 3: no one makes me laugh like Frankie. 90 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,800 Speaker 1: I know this is supposed to be a lightning round, 91 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 1: but I've got to add something here. One of my 92 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:42,719 Speaker 1: favorite answers to a question when every now and again, 93 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,839 Speaker 1: I'll do one of those rapid fire kind of things 94 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 1: myself and one person once said to me favorite place 95 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:52,479 Speaker 1: in the world, and I said, ah, in my wife's arms, 96 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:55,360 Speaker 1: and they said, oh no, seriously, what's your favorite place 97 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,560 Speaker 1: in the lord? I said, okay, right in the middle 98 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,920 Speaker 1: of a big belly laugh with my kids. And you've 99 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,120 Speaker 1: just kind of said that same, that same idea. Ultimate 100 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,200 Speaker 1: joy is just seeing your children happy. It's just beautiful. Anyway, 101 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 1: I digress. We've got about five to go. Let's do 102 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,040 Speaker 1: It's this one. This one is the hardest one. This 103 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:10,320 Speaker 1: is the hardest one. Are you ready? 104 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 2: Yes? 105 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:14,160 Speaker 1: What's the right age for kids to have a mobile phone? Amantha? 106 00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:17,559 Speaker 3: Can I rephrase that question to what's the right age 107 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:19,040 Speaker 3: for my daughter to have a mobile? 108 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:20,560 Speaker 1: Sure? Go for it. 109 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:27,279 Speaker 3: Well, I think as as a divorced parent, I felt 110 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 3: like about a year ago was when I gave Frankie 111 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,719 Speaker 3: a dumb phone, so it does nothing but make calls 112 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 3: and send text messages, because I felt it was important 113 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 3: that if she was at my ex's house that she 114 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 3: could still communicate with me if she wanted to. 115 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:49,520 Speaker 2: But in terms of a smartphone, gosh. 116 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:52,800 Speaker 3: It's so hard because I feel like I'm talking without experience, 117 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 3: because I haven't experienced having a child who's older than eight. 118 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, but you've got a psychology degree, right, You're a psychologist, 119 00:05:58,480 --> 00:05:59,760 Speaker 1: you know everything, Come on. 120 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,880 Speaker 3: Gosh, yeah, Look, I would think in terms of a 121 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,120 Speaker 3: smartphone as late as possible. I mean, not a lot 122 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:10,240 Speaker 3: of good comes when you have a smartphone. 123 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: I would say, Okay, that's not an age, but I'm 124 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,080 Speaker 1: going to accept it because time is running out. The 125 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:17,560 Speaker 1: clock's ticking. Okay, last couple of questions. What's that thing 126 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 1: that your parents always said that you swore you would 127 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 1: never say, but it keeps popping out of your mouth. 128 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 2: Oh, I'm a worry. 129 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:27,279 Speaker 3: What be careful, be careful, be careful on the monkey bars, Frankie, 130 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:29,560 Speaker 3: you might break your arm. Be careful doing this thing 131 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 3: that all children should be doing. But I'm being a 132 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 3: worry What that would be the thing? 133 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:36,560 Speaker 1: What's Frankie's favorite thing to do with you? 134 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 2: Trade? Pokemon would be up there, and also at a. 135 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 1: Moment, Pokemon. I know Pokemon. I don't do Pokemon. 136 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:50,760 Speaker 3: I'm not a huge fan, but it's not on my 137 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:56,840 Speaker 3: don't list, and I do I also we at the moment, 138 00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:00,719 Speaker 3: we're playing a lot of exploding kittens right, Yes, hard game, 139 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 3: not an actual activity to do with cats. 140 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,719 Speaker 1: My kids have the same game and they love exploding kittens. 141 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,680 Speaker 1: What are you most looking forward to as a parent. 142 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 3: I'm looking forward to seeing what sort of a woman 143 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 3: Frankie grows into being. I'm deeply curious and excited about that. 144 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 1: Second last question, if you could go back to you 145 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,560 Speaker 1: as a young parent, having one of those tough moments 146 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 1: and being inexperienced, what advice would you give yourself. 147 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 3: Stop setting your expectations so high? 148 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 1: How are you going with that right now? 149 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:35,160 Speaker 2: Not great? Need to take my own advice. 150 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 1: Last question for you, Amantha Imber, the podcast host of 151 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 1: How I Work? What has been your biggest win so 152 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 1: far as a mum? 153 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:49,240 Speaker 3: I mean, divorce is never great for kids, but I 154 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:54,600 Speaker 3: think that my greatest win is just seeing how resilient 155 00:07:54,840 --> 00:08:00,800 Speaker 3: Frankie has been in adapting over the last three years 156 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 3: to having essentially two separate lives, two separate houses, two 157 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:10,560 Speaker 3: separate sets of things. And I'm just so I'm just 158 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 3: blown away by how amazing she has been during this 159 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,760 Speaker 3: thing that she did not ask to happen, but has 160 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 3: happened in her life. 161 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,920 Speaker 1: Amantha Imber, thank you so much for joining me on 162 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 1: the Happy Families podcast for a lightning round. 163 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,400 Speaker 3: Thank you and sorry for not being super lightning with 164 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:27,520 Speaker 3: some of those answers. 165 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: Amantha Imber is the author of time Wise and the 166 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,440 Speaker 1: host of the How I Work podcast. You can check 167 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,320 Speaker 1: it out wherever you listen to your podcasts. I highly 168 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,440 Speaker 1: recommend it. It's a lot of fun. The Happy Families 169 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,960 Speaker 1: podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. Craig 170 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 1: Bruce is our executive producer and for more information about 171 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,080 Speaker 1: making your family happy, you can visit us at happy 172 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 1: families dot com dot au.