Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms Flex and Frooms.
Speaker 2: This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.
Speaker 1: It's Flex and Frooms on CATA Lucky for You his
Speaker 1: podcast Miss You. We have some learning for you, a
Speaker 1: bit of education. It's going to change your life for
Speaker 1: the better, I promise. Cats out on TikTok, it's about
Speaker 1: k A t h E r o u T shared
Speaker 1: this concept that's originally from Fugly Betty on Twitter I
Speaker 1: instead of y. It's about vibe theory. This idea that
Speaker 1: there are key roles that need to be filled in
Speaker 1: any group dynamic crip to be maintained the vibe that
Speaker 1: is now. There are about eight roles, so please listening.
Speaker 1: Ears open. We won't go over them more than once.
Speaker 1: To begin. We've got the vibe curator. They're highly social
Speaker 1: and they connect all the members of the group hangout.
Speaker 1: They're about setting the right ambience, the right tone, the
Speaker 1: right flow. It doesn't mean they the most popular, but
Speaker 1: they're a key facilitator and often the gloom sure. The
Speaker 1: vibe stabilizer, a quiet but integral role. They're kind of
Speaker 1: the work. They maintain the equilibrium and the balance. When
Speaker 1: it's too rowdy, they calm it down when it's not
Speaker 1: fun enough, they bring it up kind of like, what
Speaker 1: was that analogy that Gwyneth Paltrow gave the other day,
Speaker 1: the temperature adjustment. Yes, yes, yes, we've got the vibe amplifier,
Speaker 1: the reliable entertainer, often highly intoxicated. We encourage responsible drinking
Speaker 1: and the responsible service of alcohol. They initiate the desire
Speaker 1: to make the most out of every night a big one.
Speaker 1: Let's get near it. Very important. They often determine the
Speaker 1: flow of the night. If they're done, usually we're all done,
Speaker 1: but if there are we're are next up. We have
Speaker 1: the vibe terrorist derogatory. They bring a sense of mayhem
Speaker 1: and vibe terrorists. Yes, they bring a sense of mayhem
Speaker 1: and dysfunction to the vibe through unusual social interactions. It
Speaker 1: can help to spice things up or disrupt the energy.
Speaker 1: That friend who won't stop talking to that strange person.
Speaker 1: Know that friend who doesn't know when to let the
Speaker 1: mayhem dissipate. Okay, we've got the vibe miss on sing.
Speaker 1: They're not a central character of the evening, but they're
Speaker 1: crucial to the hangout simply because they flesh out the numbers. Okay,
Speaker 1: sometimes a Vibe just needs bodies, just needs energetic bodies,
Speaker 1: lumps of tissue to just be around. Now, they happily participate.
Speaker 1: They're usually down for whatever, kind of like a non
Speaker 1: event in the best way possible. A neutral participant. We've
Speaker 1: got the vibe ornament. Generally the person that's there because
Speaker 1: they're the most aesthetic or they got the most clout.
Speaker 1: They're to be pretty or kind of like up the
Speaker 1: stock of the hangout. You know, they make the hang
Speaker 1: look good. Yeah, they know people. They're the plug. They'll
Speaker 1: get you on the door, that kind of thing. Now,
Speaker 1: they often don't contribute much, but they're kind of like
Speaker 1: sparkly shiny people.
Speaker 2: They look good doing it.
Speaker 1: They look good the vibe scapegoat. Now, when the Vibe
Speaker 1: terrorist takes things down a black hole, the Vibes escape
Speaker 1: goes a person you blame because we don't really let
Speaker 1: the terrorists know that they are the terrorists. We've got
Speaker 1: the Vibe understudy. Last, but not least, they're an outsider
Speaker 1: to the usual social structure of the group. They're a
Speaker 1: newbie or a visitor. They add some spice to the evening.
Speaker 1: There may be auditioning for a recurring role they're professional floaters. Wow,
Speaker 1: don't say too much at once, now, don't say too
Speaker 1: much to one vibe. Do you think you are?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 1: I think this Actually, which vibe do I think you are?
Speaker 1: I mean, go ahead, which vibe do you think I am?
Speaker 3: Well? We were together at a social engagement a few
Speaker 3: weekends ago in Melbourne, in melbourn Sea and we were
Speaker 3: in a group dynamics. So I guess yeah, go ahead,
Speaker 3: And are we going to base it on that or
Speaker 3: based it on like general cumulative?
Speaker 1: I would say general cumulative. Now to me and the
Speaker 1: way that I've observed through me fibe terrorist, No way,
Speaker 1: I would say through me is a curator or a stabilizer? Wow. Now,
Speaker 1: the reason I perceive you to be a curator is
Speaker 1: because you are sure or to ensure that the invite
Speaker 1: is passed on, that you're getting the right bodies in
Speaker 1: a room you're chatting or whatever. But the stabilizer, I
Speaker 1: think that people might perceive for me to be not
Speaker 1: one dimensional, but they only see one side of you.
Speaker 1: They don't see the work you're doing behind the scenes
Speaker 1: to ensure everybody's being thought of, everyone's being considered, The
Speaker 1: story is flowing nobody's getting left out for me often
Speaker 1: likes to ensure that if you know there's bodies that
Speaker 1: have like pulled away, she's bringing them in or hey,
Speaker 1: where's that person? They haven't really been thought of. That's
Speaker 1: very important role.
Speaker 2: That definitely didn't happen last weekend.
Speaker 3: We went up to the toppers level when people break
Speaker 3: out of the party to go to an upstairs room.
Speaker 1: It was accidental. We were being given a tour, that's true,
Speaker 1: and that tour once we got to the third floor,
Speaker 1: it had to stop briefly. But you did say, oh,
Speaker 1: should we invite so and to up Then we'd have
Speaker 1: to go back downstairs to get them.
Speaker 3: I mean one of the one of the girls had
Speaker 3: a broken legs, so yeah, she was cutting the stables
Speaker 3: when we were okay. I would personally call myself a
Speaker 3: that's a good summation. That's what I'd like to be.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: I would say that you are the vibe amplifier and
Speaker 3: or the ornament.
Speaker 1: Thank you?
Speaker 2: Is that what you wanted to cure both of them?
Speaker 1: I'm the ornament, let's be rich. Or I would say
Speaker 1: the vibe understudy. So the reason why I would describe
Speaker 1: myself as a vibe ornament is because I like to
Speaker 1: do what I want to do in my own time
Speaker 1: and I only need one friend to do it with me.
Speaker 1: So I'm not really concerned in a group consensus of
Speaker 1: you know where we should go next, or you know
Speaker 1: what should we listen to. I'm down and I'll start
Speaker 1: it myself. And so if I want to have a conversation,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pull you aside and have it. I'm not
Speaker 1: really concerned in making sure that everybody is on the
Speaker 1: same page before we go and do something. And really,
Speaker 1: I just want to look good, feel good. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's it's worth I just wanted here to do. But
Speaker 1: get me on a on the right night and I'll
Speaker 1: be a vibe amplifier. The vibes a like getting met.
Speaker 1: But mostly if I'm not gonna be an ornament, I
Speaker 1: just want to be an understudy. I want to float
Speaker 1: into a dynamic, you know, get the lay of the land,
Speaker 1: ask some questions, get the gossip, float out. Is flex
Speaker 1: coming back to the next one? Yeah, yeah, she should
Speaker 1: be there.
Speaker 3: Probably not very mysterious that that style of being.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just don't want the pressure. So that's why
Speaker 1: one of my favorite roles is professional plus one sa
Speaker 1: Flexi calib it is gully.
Speaker 2: I'll keep that in mind.
Speaker 4: Literally fru meno through me boo, mummy, lex Mom.
Speaker 5: You're listening to Flex and Frooms. I'm kaita Flexi. I
Speaker 5: am an emotional person. I would also put you in
Speaker 5: the same category, given that we are humans and not
Speaker 5: cyborgs yet. Yeah, the quantum computer is gearing up in Australia.
Speaker 5: Is that related to robots?
Speaker 1: I'm not sure, Ai Singularity.
Speaker 3: I get a message from a woman called Tash cull
Speaker 3: So on an episode a few weeks back. You can
Speaker 3: listen to all of our episodes where you ay podcast
Speaker 3: it's Flex and Frooms. But anyway, I think a while
Speaker 3: ago I talked how I don't know how to sit
Speaker 3: with my emotions. You know how psychologists and online people say.
Speaker 1: Feel your feelings, feel your feeling.
Speaker 2: See with your emotion.
Speaker 1: What sick?
Speaker 3: Pardon me, I'm scared. Anyway, this chick had to listen
Speaker 3: and she set me in this advice.
Speaker 2: Okay for rooms.
Speaker 6: I was just listening to your latest episode with Flex
Speaker 6: and I noticed that you said you didn't know how
Speaker 6: to sit with your emotions, and funnily enough, I never
Speaker 6: knew how to as well up until six months ago.
Speaker 6: When I'm working with my psych I'm not a psychologist,
Speaker 6: so don't follow this advice. But what they mean when
Speaker 6: they say to sit with your emotions is when you're
Speaker 6: feeling anxious or angry. Usually you'll have a feeling in
Speaker 6: your body, for example, like a tightness in your chest,
Speaker 6: or a warm feeling in your hands, or a heaviness
Speaker 6: in your face or a heaviness in your chest. I
Speaker 6: usually get a lot of emotions in my chest and
Speaker 6: face area. I think that's quite common. And what you're
Speaker 6: meant to do is sit there and focus on that feeling.
Speaker 6: So it's not so much about focusing on the thoughts
Speaker 6: that are spiraling in your head or thinking about things
Speaker 6: and ruminating about things. It's more just focusing on what
Speaker 6: your body is actually feeling in the moment. So I'll
Speaker 6: do that like every time I'm feeling really angry or anxious,
Speaker 6: and yeah, it actually really helps. I will say that
Speaker 6: I've had a massive difference in my life over the
Speaker 6: past six months, Like emotions still feel really hard, but yeah,
Speaker 6: that's what it means by sitting with your emotions. I
Speaker 6: guess I hope that.
Speaker 2: Helps first and foremost.
Speaker 3: This woman has sent me full voice notes all the
Speaker 3: perfect time. Did she start a once?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Did she waffle? Not at all, So thank you toch
Speaker 2: for example.
Speaker 3: Comp that everybody and please copy. So Yeah, feeling your emotions.
Speaker 3: What I've realized is I get exma between my fingers
Speaker 3: and sometimes I wake up at night, like last night,
Speaker 3: and they're really itchy, and that means I'm anxious. I
Speaker 3: don't know how it works. Yeah, I itch it to
Speaker 3: pieces and that's what I know. Oh, something's wrong in
Speaker 3: the head.
Speaker 1: And so we shouldn't be trying to dig deeper as
Speaker 1: to what you're anxious about, because that would be intellectualizing.
Speaker 2: Or I think we do.
Speaker 3: But then we also just acknowledge a feeling each the
Speaker 3: fingers and then go back to sleep. Okay, not sure
Speaker 3: if that's what I was meant to take from it,
Speaker 3: but thank you Tah for sending in the voice note.
Speaker 2: I appreciate that you're listening to Flex and Firms on Kaita.
Speaker 1: We have some good news and potentially some bad news.
Speaker 1: The pendulum has swung in a very fairer way. The
Speaker 1: Internet has said clean girl talk, clean girl aesthetic is
Speaker 1: out and now we're advocates for messiness and I quote
Speaker 1: mindful messiness. I love a pr spin on what is
Speaker 1: regular human behavior? Is it chaos? No, it's generating mess mindfully.
Speaker 4: Listen to this while it's getting a makeover, let's look
Speaker 4: into it. The vibe has shifted. Lex culture has been
Speaker 4: replaced by social realism, the girl boss has gone down
Speaker 4: the dream and chaos is raining in our previously estheticized fees.
Speaker 1: Do you know what the issue is? It's that these
Speaker 1: trends go from accessible and achievable and really simple to
Speaker 1: execute to the most extreme. Like on TikTok for the
Speaker 1: last year, you couldn't just put your hair in a
Speaker 1: barn where some gold hoop earrings and some lip balm.
Speaker 1: It had to be the slickest of buns, the most
Speaker 1: ornamental hoops possible, to Christine doughnut glazed lip I see
Speaker 1: champagne cuticles. And suddenly it gets to a point where
Speaker 1: to even maintain like it's not even about the ethos
Speaker 1: of what we're doing right, which is encouraging people to
Speaker 1: be mindful of their appearance, but where reducing it down
Speaker 1: to these really unattainable labels that can only be executed
Speaker 1: in like photo shoots.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Not.
Speaker 1: Even the people that they're referencing as clean girls are
Speaker 1: clean girls, not in the way they think this mindful
Speaker 1: mess though. Again, they're gonna start calling depression rooms trendy.
Speaker 1: People are going to be advocating for a lack of
Speaker 1: sense in their physical spaces because someone on the Internet
Speaker 1: told them it's mindful to not clean up after themselves.
Speaker 1: And you might think that I'm being a nark about it,
Speaker 1: but this is how it happens for everyone. For everybody
Speaker 1: who you think is of sound mind, there are twenty
Speaker 1: four thousand who are easily manipulated.
Speaker 3: Do you reckon?
Speaker 1: Absolutely? Absolutely? Before you know, I'll be scrolling through the
Speaker 1: internet and there'll be an article that says ballet flats
Speaker 1: to in and the comps like, oh no, I hate them.
Speaker 2: But what are you gonna do? You know, resign?
Speaker 1: Resign?
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 3: I put a pair of ballet flats that I had
Speaker 3: from twenty thirteen on my story. Eighty percent said they're disgusting.
Speaker 3: Did you see them?
Speaker 1: I don't think I did, think, but I'm not surprised.
Speaker 1: But that do that poll in nine months time, and
Speaker 1: the pendulum will have swung again. Preach I like trends.
Speaker 1: I like trend culture. I think it's fun and interesting
Speaker 1: and exciting, but people rarely make it work for them.
Speaker 1: It's like, what you need to do is when there's
Speaker 1: a trend that mirrors your life style, lean in. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I was, I was on it. Don't oscillate so far
Speaker 1: out of your reality to do something you don't want
Speaker 1: to do and then do it poorly. Please, no shade,
Speaker 1: just an observation.
Speaker 3: I am always thinking of new and inventive dating ideas.
Speaker 2: You shut up.
Speaker 3: I came across this genius idea for a date.
Speaker 1: So you didn't invent this one.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm going to add flavor to it.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I wish we could all normalize having a
Speaker 3: first date where we run errands together. So if there's
Speaker 3: no chemistry, at least I got light bulbs and picked
Speaker 3: up my dry cleaning.
Speaker 2: I love this idea.
Speaker 3: Go on a date, but don't go sit idle in
Speaker 3: a movie watching a movie you maybe hate. Go to
Speaker 3: a supermarket, get all your stuff, go home. If there's
Speaker 3: no vibe, you've done your errands, and if there is
Speaker 3: a vibe, you've experienced a boyfriend girlfriend experience.
Speaker 1: I don't like that. Why It sounds like something I
Speaker 1: would like, but I don't like it because what I
Speaker 1: want for our society is to bring back the romance
Speaker 1: that the poets were writing about, because we haven't had
Speaker 1: that in a millennium, okay a millennium.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I guess I could only think of Sylvia Platt.
Speaker 1: See, we haven't had the you know, and the autumn
Speaker 1: leaves are falling as I tuck a strand of hair
Speaker 1: behind her beautifully almond shaped it as.
Speaker 2: We post Prima Donna.
Speaker 1: Yeah, literally, we don't have that. And I just don't
Speaker 1: relationships get boring anyway? Why do we want to simulate
Speaker 1: the boring part? First? I just think the best partnered
Speaker 1: experience is to do something fanciful and fantastical. I would
Speaker 1: rather go on an adventure with someone and never see
Speaker 1: them again and be like, oh my goodness. And then
Speaker 1: we went here. We went here, and it was just
Speaker 1: I'm not even like that. Then go to take my
Speaker 1: local spot.
Speaker 3: Yeah true, my favorite aisles, not at all.
Speaker 1: And I just feel like, are you coming on my
Speaker 1: Errand I'm going on your errand you're.
Speaker 2: Coming on, oh yeah, coming on my Errand.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're initiating the date, then yeah, I'll say,
Speaker 1: like you've never done in your life. Shut up, I
Speaker 1: have clearly. Okay, I get what they're saying because a
Speaker 1: lot of people's dating experiences they just don't really go
Speaker 1: anywhere and they get let down by the investment of
Speaker 1: time and money and energy. But that is the exchange,
Speaker 1: that is the transaction. Yeah, I think if we try
Speaker 1: and reduce it to let me put in as little
Speaker 1: effort as possible, or let me make sure this doesn't interrupt,
Speaker 1: you know, the flow of my day. I don't think
Speaker 1: that will beget the outcome you think you're looking for.
Speaker 2: All right, I'll pay that. I mean, I'll still try it.
Speaker 1: Oh please when the opportunity presents, so you're going to
Speaker 1: be proactive about it.
Speaker 3: You reach Absolutely not great, absolutely not
Speaker 6: And listening to the flexen Froom's daily podcast for more,
Speaker 6: Tune Indicator on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.