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Speaker 1: This is a podcast about failure with me.

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Speaker 2: Lola Berry, author, nutritionist, and yoga teacher join me as

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Speaker 2: we get to know these guests and learn about how

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Speaker 2: their failures have ultimately shaped their dreams.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Fearlessly Failing with Lola Berry. Hello.

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Speaker 2: Today on the pod we have Alexa Silvaggio, such an

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Speaker 2: incredible human being, teacher, writer, speaker, yog's teacher, meditation guru,

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Speaker 2: super inter spirituality, self care and mindfulness. Also owns a

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Speaker 2: Ripper chocolate company. It's just gone through a rebrand, so

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Speaker 2: I'm going to put all the new details for it

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Speaker 2: in the show notes as well.

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Speaker 1: It's so delicious.

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Speaker 2: Just before I recorded this intro, I actually had a

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Speaker 2: couple of little squares of the orange peel flavor.

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Speaker 1: It's paleo and vegan. So nice to have just go

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Speaker 1: get up on the pot where I know we always

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Speaker 1: have go get us on the pod. Who am I kidding?

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Speaker 1: That's exactly the premise of this pod.

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Speaker 2: But just someone that's got many skill sets and chasing

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Speaker 2: them all at the same time.

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Speaker 3: I really love that.

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Speaker 2: Kind of like a spiritual hustler or something. Oh there's

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Speaker 2: a clothing brand for you. Spiritual hustler. That sounds great.

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Speaker 2: That sounds like a great podcast too. Name just giving

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Speaker 2: all my ideas away.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: In this chat, Alexa actually takes us through a really

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Speaker 2: cool breathing exercise that I've never done before, so I

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Speaker 2: am going.

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Speaker 3: To keep it in.

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Speaker 2: It might sound it's about like it will sound different

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Speaker 2: because we stopped talking and she literally takes us through

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Speaker 2: this breeding practice.

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Speaker 1: And I've never done it.

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Speaker 2: It's all about exhaling through the stomach the heart and

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Speaker 2: then inhaling, but it's all through the mouth, really really interesting,

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Speaker 2: and then we do some box breeding. So I invite

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Speaker 2: you when you're listening to that part even if you're driving.

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Speaker 3: Actually, would you be able to do it driving?

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Speaker 2: Probably would, but just have a listen or pause and

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Speaker 2: like remember where it is and come.

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Speaker 3: Back to it and listen.

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Speaker 2: Because I felt the difference straight away when I did

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Speaker 2: this breathing exercise.

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Speaker 1: So that is in the part. I hope you enjoy it.

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Speaker 2: That's a little easter egg for you. Surprise treat. I

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Speaker 2: guess isn't a surprising walk, so I just ruined it.

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Speaker 2: We talk a lot about fear disclaimer. We talk about

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Speaker 2: eating disorders, which we haven't talked about for a long

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Speaker 2: time on this podcast, so it was really nice to

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Speaker 2: have some just really unfiltered chat about it. Enjoy Alexa,

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Speaker 2: You're awesome. It's really cool human being and I cannot

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Speaker 2: wait to see with you and I am.

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Speaker 1: Addicted to your chocolate.

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Speaker 2: So it was called Savage, It's going to be called

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Speaker 2: Rich as soon as the rebranding's done, which I'm pretty

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Speaker 2: sure will have happened by the time this intro comes out.

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Speaker 2: Another wonderful human being based in LA and that, as

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Speaker 2: you know, is the premise of these Monday episodes.

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Speaker 1: While I'm in La, I want to interview people that

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Speaker 1: are based here and chasing dreams here.

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Speaker 2: So enjoy another inspiring chat with an LA based human being.

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Speaker 1: Mega love. Have a ripper day, boy.

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Speaker 2: Alexa Silvagio, as you did it, Welcome to the point

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Speaker 2: for everyone listening.

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Speaker 3: I practiced that a couple of times. It's good.

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Speaker 1: I am so honored to have you on this podcast.

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Speaker 3: I'm just stop to be chatting with you.

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Speaker 2: Incredible, like you're a wellness warrior, you're a teacher, you're

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Speaker 2: a writer, you're a speaker. You've got an incredible chocolate

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Speaker 2: company that I have already demolished two bars of the

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Speaker 2: ball you gave me.

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Speaker 3: I think I am more in the car. I'll have

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Speaker 3: to give you some more.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, you don't need you because I'm literally like, okay,

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Speaker 2: so I'm a So I was like, I'm going to

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Speaker 2: be obsessed with the mint, and then I tried the

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Speaker 2: orange and I.

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Speaker 1: Was like, I know what is with your orange? It's

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Speaker 1: so good.

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Speaker 4: It's like it's so real, and you know, it's so sad.

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Speaker 4: Is like, I think that flavor is actually going to

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Speaker 4: go because people see it and they're like, oh, we

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Speaker 4: don't want to people don't buy it.

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Speaker 2: Oh the oranges, yeah, I know, but listimo favorite. We're

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Speaker 2: going to talk more about the chocolate because I think

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Speaker 2: it's unreal and thank you sirs. As a nutritionist, I'm

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Speaker 2: always reading the packets and checking, you know, how honest

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Speaker 2: the ingredients are, and so I'm pumped to talk to

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Speaker 2: you way more about that. But first I kind of

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Speaker 2: want to like backtrack. So we met last week, had

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Speaker 2: a little You had your matcher, I had my coffee.

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Speaker 2: I met Hugo, your incredible French bullder.

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Speaker 3: My little pumpkinhead such a pumpkin like his head is

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Speaker 3: a pumpkin. Yeah, like it's huge. His colorings are really pumpkin.

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Speaker 1: He yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But researching you after we spoke, I loved seeing all

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Speaker 2: there's so much on YouTube of you doing meditation.

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Speaker 1: We both bonded over that.

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Speaker 2: But I when we were talking, I loved hearing about

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Speaker 2: you being in New York, being a dancer, beating the theater.

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Speaker 1: Well, can we talk a little bit about that part

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Speaker 1: of your life? First?

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Speaker 3: God? Yeah, of course, how.

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Speaker 2: On earth was as an Aussie we romanticize the jay

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Speaker 2: z Alicia Keys song New York state of mind, that's legit.

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Speaker 3: It's an epic one.

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Speaker 4: I always had a big hunger and yearning for that city.

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Speaker 4: And you know my family growing up, my mom owned

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Speaker 4: a dance school, yes, and so yeah, yeah, so I danced.

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Speaker 4: I think I started at age three, and we would

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Speaker 4: often take trips to New York and my mom had

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Speaker 4: a radio show actually on a channel called KCBX. It's

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Speaker 4: through NPR and it was called From Ballet to Broadway,

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Speaker 4: and so she would like play show tunes and that

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Speaker 4: was really kind of what got it into my into

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Speaker 4: my somatic body. I was like, oh God, this is

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Speaker 4: so amazing, and so yeah, I ended up pursuing it

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Speaker 4: as a career. I went to Interlock and Arts Academy

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Speaker 4: for High School, which is like a private school for

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Speaker 4: the arts in Michigan, and then spent my summers at

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Speaker 4: NYU at CAP twenty one, and then ended up going

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Speaker 4: to Syracuse University. I was a musical theater major, and

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Speaker 4: I booked my first show my sophomore year and ended

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Speaker 4: up have to leave and tour and do all the things.

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Speaker 1: And Syracuse is just at in New York, right.

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Speaker 3: Exactly, It's upstate.

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Speaker 4: It's just upstate a bit so cold, oh, really audaciously cold.

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Speaker 3: It's actually like, can we.

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Speaker 4: Swear on this podcast? Its absolutely fuckery. Yeah, And so

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Speaker 4: just you know, it was it was good. I'm glad

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Speaker 4: I did it, but I but yeah, that place was

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Speaker 4: pretty brutal. So I was hungry to get out of

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Speaker 4: there as fast as I could because I wanted to

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Speaker 4: be in the city because I was booking jobs already.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's like the mecca of musical theater.

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Speaker 3: Really.

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Speaker 2: So, I've heard you say that you describe your body

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Speaker 2: as your home, and when you danced, you felt more

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Speaker 2: present and connected to yourself.

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Speaker 1: Was that something from the beginning?

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Speaker 2: Is that what Drew you like obviously your mom and

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Speaker 2: having that incredible role model in your life. But was

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Speaker 2: it that when you were dancing you were like time stops,

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Speaker 2: I'm here right now, nothing else mattered.

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Speaker 1: That kind of like flow state. Is that what dance

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Speaker 1: was for you?

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Speaker 4: You know, it's so funny you say that because it

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Speaker 4: was such a yin and yang experience, Like, yes, complete embodiment.

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Speaker 4: I totally felt present, but it also was kind of

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Speaker 4: my kryptonite for a long time because it led to

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Speaker 4: a lot of body obsession and of course full blown

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Speaker 4: eating disorder that almost took me out completely. So it

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Speaker 4: was this very weird, dichotomous thing where it was like

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Speaker 4: both my both my catnip and my kryptonite.

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Speaker 3: It really was interesting, totally.

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Speaker 2: I'm glad that you mentioned ing disorder for people listening

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Speaker 2: this podcast.

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Speaker 1: I'll know that's my history as well.

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Speaker 2: And I've heard you talk about your eating disorder to

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Speaker 2: the point where you didn't get your period, you were

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Speaker 2: losing hair, and it kind of kicked off in sophomore years.

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Speaker 2: So I think how old is that?

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Speaker 4: I guess I was probably twenty nineteen twenty Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 4: just because in Australia we don't have sophomore year.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you're like when we're white, because we don't know

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Speaker 4: what that is.

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Speaker 3: What the fun you're talking right?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's about the age around that early twenties.

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Speaker 2: I think also we're looking for validation outside of ourselves

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Speaker 2: at that age, and whether it be the people we date,

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Speaker 2: whether it be how we choose to get control of

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Speaker 2: our body, like as opposed to like living in shortively, which.

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Speaker 3: Is what I feel like you do right now.

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Speaker 2: So just to like if you're comfortable to sit in

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Speaker 2: a bit of that uncomfy bit for a moment of

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Speaker 2: their eating disorder.

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Speaker 1: So I've heard you say it wasn't one specific trigger.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, necessarily, Yeah, it was a bunch of things. I mean,

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Speaker 4: I think I think there was tremendous pressure because I

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Speaker 4: was working while in school, So there was this kind

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Speaker 4: of like I was kind of this like weird magical

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Speaker 4: creature that like got a job like before I was done.

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Speaker 4: So everyone was kind of like, wait, why is she

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Speaker 4: like already working? This is the goal, Like we want

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Speaker 4: to do that, and like I was already doing it.

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Speaker 4: So I was like, oh, I need to like bear

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Speaker 4: down and like control all these things that I can't control.

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Speaker 4: There was also an unrequited love situation that I think

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Speaker 4: really like it really devastated me. And I think there

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Speaker 4: was a part of me that didn't subconsciously didn't really

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Speaker 4: want to exist, Like there was a part of me

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Speaker 4: that was like, Okay, if this doesn't if this person

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Speaker 4: doesn't want me, And now I'm like working as a

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Speaker 4: professional actor, and it feels very scary because like now

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Speaker 4: I have my equity card and now I have my

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Speaker 4: sad card, and like I'm doing all these things and

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Speaker 4: it felt like a very big deal and a whole

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Speaker 4: lot of change met with this kind of like devastation.

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Speaker 4: I just wanted to control something because I felt so

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Speaker 4: ungrounded and so it was easier to control what I

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Speaker 4: was eating than the by circumstances.

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Speaker 3: How long was it a part of your life?

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Speaker 2: I mean that's a very loaded question because I feel

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Speaker 2: like it never really goes in some ways. There are

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Speaker 2: days where I'll look in the mirror and be like

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Speaker 2: you look fat, Yeah, don't dinner tonight, you know, like

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Speaker 2: that can creep in And I'm thirty five, you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean? Yes, But like how long was it

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Speaker 2: where it controlled your life or was a big part

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Speaker 2: of your life.

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Speaker 4: Yes, and I totally agree, and frankly, I don't think

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Speaker 4: there's a soul on this planet that doesn't have it's

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Speaker 4: like eating disorders, like a sliding scale totally. Like I

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Speaker 4: know people that are like like famous actors now who

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Speaker 4: have these like what we would all call perfect bodies

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Speaker 4: that week up and they're like, oh, yeah, no, I'm

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Speaker 4: just doing beverages today, and I'm just like, okay, we're there,

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Speaker 4: like that's where we're at. I just took a fitness

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Speaker 4: class and like I had the same moment. I was like,

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Speaker 4: ooh girl, you've like you need some assistance.

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Speaker 3: Like it was. It was that conversation.

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Speaker 4: But as far as it like really like ruling my

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Speaker 4: life and like totally consuming me, I would say from

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Speaker 4: like nineteen to twenty five.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, so they say, I remember I was touring

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Speaker 2: with a psychologist that specialized in eating dishols and they

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Speaker 2: were like, it's a ten to give and ten to

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Speaker 2: a live in year recovery.

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Speaker 3: I've no doubt a fool coming out from.

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Speaker 1: Binge eating and then like starving.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how your slide out of it was,

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Speaker 2: but mine was like real binge eating and then guilt

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Speaker 2: and then self loathing and then well I wouldn't eat

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Speaker 2: for ten days or something like I do something really

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Speaker 2: horrible to my body. And so that's why I'm so

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Speaker 2: excited to talk to you about because I feel like

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Speaker 2: it's so not no, but it's so nice to see.

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Speaker 1: And again why I want to talk about the chocolate,

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Speaker 1: to see this full circle like mindfulness come all the

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Speaker 1: way back. But when you're in it, it's so hard.

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Speaker 2: So I've heard you describe it as like a sense

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Speaker 2: of like self hatred when you're in an eating disorder.

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Speaker 1: Can you share a little bit about.

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Speaker 4: That, Yeah, of course, I think. I think really any addiction,

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Speaker 4: any any form of self abandonment, like an eating disorder,

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Speaker 4: like alcoholism, like sex addiction, like shopping addiction, it's all

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Speaker 4: an act of self hatred. Right, You're trying to escape yourself.

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Speaker 4: You're like, I'm out of here. I don't want to

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Speaker 4: feel this. Whatever this is he first underneath this, I

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Speaker 4: don't want to feel it.

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Speaker 3: It's an act of self betrayal and active self.

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Speaker 4: Loathing and a means of disembodying, a means of escape,

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Speaker 4: like I am outside of myself, I'm out of control

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Speaker 4: and yet I'm controlling this behavior, so I'm in control in.

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Speaker 3: Some weird ways, this very weird juxtaposition.

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Speaker 4: And then I got into the wellness world, the more

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Speaker 4: mindful spiritual practices. I became a yoga teacher, and that

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Speaker 4: was really a practice of embodiment. I was a practice

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Speaker 4: of like being as present with my body as I

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Speaker 4: could and an act of self care, an act of

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Speaker 4: self love. And obviously depending on the teacher that you

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Speaker 4: go to, Like you can go to some yoga classes

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Speaker 4: where it's like a boot camp, you know, and the

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Speaker 4: teachers are like, oh, and you're like, wait, hold on,

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Speaker 4: I'm just trying to breathe, hold the fucking phone. But

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Speaker 4: you know, you find your people, you find your teachers,

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Speaker 4: you find your path. And that was certainly a huge

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Speaker 4: part of my healing, was coming home to myself.

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Speaker 2: And they say, yoga finds you. I'm sure you've heard

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Speaker 2: that one before. And it was a huge part of

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Speaker 2: my recovery with an em disorder too, because you're forced

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Speaker 2: to sit with yourself and sit with the uncomfortable longer

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Speaker 2: than you probably want to.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, And that's exactly it.

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Speaker 4: Like my like, the most difficult practice for me was

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Speaker 4: always yin where you're like holding pigeon pose for like

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Speaker 4: five minutes and you're like, I just have to sit

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Speaker 4: in this burning heart like weight, heart discomfort and with.

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Speaker 1: Your thoughts as well, like yeah.

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Speaker 3: And then when did the meditation come into you? For you?

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Speaker 2: Because my boyfriend's an ADVID practicer of meditation, I quite

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Speaker 2: struggle with it. But I love preanny arm and breath work.

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Speaker 2: It's my total jam. So that for me kind of,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I think because I am an a

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Speaker 2: type person like personality and I saw this on your instag.

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Speaker 1: Yesterday exactly type a post, right, But.

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Speaker 2: Because the breath work, I feel like I can feel

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Speaker 2: the results like almost instantaneous, instantaneously. Yeah, my brain equates

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Speaker 2: it too. Oh, I've just done something productive to help myself.

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Speaker 3: Completely.

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Speaker 2: Meditation, I can be like in checklists, I can be

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Speaker 2: very disconnected with myself. So when did the meditation creep

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Speaker 2: in with the yogs or did that come further down

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Speaker 2: the line?

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Speaker 3: Totally further down the line.

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Speaker 4: I feel like if someone had told me at the beginning,

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Speaker 4: like especially when I was just starting to recover, if

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Speaker 4: someone had told me like, hey, you're going to sit

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Speaker 4: down and like sit with yourself for thirty minutes or

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Speaker 4: twenty minutes or ten minutes. I would have been like

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Speaker 4: you go away, yeah, like there's no way I need

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Speaker 4: to move, especially as a dancer, Like being in my

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Speaker 4: body made me feel alive and like powerful.

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Speaker 3: Like touching myself right now and like grabbing my wrist,

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Speaker 3: I'm like here, I am, I'm right here.

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Speaker 4: And that was I think that that was such a

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Speaker 4: huge part because really, I mean, yoga's a movement meditation totally,

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Speaker 4: and so it was a really good tool for me

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Speaker 4: as someone who was still compulsive, who was a dancer,

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Speaker 4: and who needed to have meditation but in a physical form.

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Speaker 4: And then I would ironically like nowadays, like i'd say

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Speaker 4: thirty on yeah, maybe thirty one.

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Speaker 3: Meditation is my main practice.

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Speaker 4: I don't practice ausna as much as I did, and

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Speaker 4: I always start with breathwork and I let that lead

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Speaker 4: into my meditation because that's how I can drop in,

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Speaker 4: Like I'll do I'll do like ten minutes of breath

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Speaker 4: work and then ten minutes of meditation.

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Speaker 1: Do you have a favorite breath work exercise?

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Speaker 4: I generally will do depending on what I need, But

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Speaker 4: I would say my most like common I'll do five

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Speaker 4: minutes of holotropic and this holotropic Oh my god, I'm

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Speaker 4: obsessed with that. We should do a little bit. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: and even do like thirty seconds of it. Yeah, let's

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Speaker 4: do it. Okay, great, So what you want to do

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Speaker 4: is all through the mouth. You breathe into the belly,

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Speaker 4: into the heart, and then out all in and out.

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Speaker 3: Through the mouth. Okay.

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Speaker 4: So it sounds like this, yeah, belly heart out, yes, m.

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Speaker 3: M almost there. Good.

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Speaker 4: Now take a deep inhale, hold the breath, softened the shoulders,

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Speaker 4: exhale it out, and then I would move into five minutes.

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Speaker 3: Of box breathing.

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Speaker 4: Yes, as we know this one in hell for five,

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Speaker 4: holding the breath for five, exhaling for five, holding empty

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Speaker 4: for a five. We'll do that one more time, in

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Speaker 4: hell for five, holding for five, exhaling for five, holding

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Speaker 4: empty for a five.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so I'll do five minutes of each of those.

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Speaker 3: How do you feel?

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Speaker 1: I was anxious at the start of doing their first

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Speaker 1: the exhaling breathing. I've never done that before.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and then it can bring forward that.

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Speaker 2: But then I felt good, Like the second half. I

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Speaker 2: was like give in, yeah, you know, surrender.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah.

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Speaker 3: So nice.

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Speaker 2: I love box breathing, and I love even if I'm

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Speaker 2: just a bit stressed out in hal for five, hold

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Speaker 2: for five, and then like ex hel for like nine

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Speaker 2: or ten, like as long as I can, and I

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Speaker 2: use that if I can't sleep or I'm anxious, and

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Speaker 2: just as long as long as I need to kind

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Speaker 2: of like I don't even care if it's three rounds

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Speaker 2: and I'll just be like can reset, just to kind

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Speaker 2: of get myself through.

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Speaker 1: But it was really that was really nice.

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Speaker 3: Thanks for doing it with me.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. Total score total score. Wellus, Okay, So

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Speaker 2: I wanted to just say one thing. I didn't expect

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Speaker 2: to talk to you about this, but it came up

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Speaker 2: when you were talking about your body and being connected

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Speaker 2: to it.

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Speaker 1: As you know we spoke the other day. I mean

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Speaker 1: acting school, and.

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Speaker 2: There is an actor in there that's a dancer, and

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Speaker 2: their physical connection to themselves, to the scene, to this

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Speaker 2: space is.

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Speaker 1: Like nothing I've ever seen. Well, and so I think

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Speaker 1: I know.

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Speaker 2: You and I talked about you potentially dipping back in,

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Speaker 2: you know, and doing more acting. I think the dance,

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Speaker 2: the yogus, the connection to your body is like such

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Speaker 2: a powerful tool that I hadn't realized until I came

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Speaker 2: here and washed a dancer that's an actor in the space,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, yeah, they are best mates.

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Speaker 3: It's an availability.

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Speaker 1: And it's like another language as well that you've got

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Speaker 1: that we don't have if we haven't done.

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Speaker 3: That kind of work.

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Speaker 4: Yes, dance really was. It's so funny. This is like

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Speaker 4: such an homage to my mom. She would teach workshops

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Speaker 4: all over the place, and often she would start workshops saying,

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Speaker 4: do you know what the first language was?

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Speaker 3: And everyone's like, you know, I don't know this language.

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Speaker 4: This language, yeah, yeah, exactly, Latin, maybe English, No, and

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Speaker 4: she she would say, you know, no, it was actually

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Speaker 4: a movement. You know, we didn't know words, but we

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Speaker 4: would gesture like like like this, this, this, you know

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Speaker 4: it make you like we used our bodies to communicate

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Speaker 4: first before anything else. And so as dancers, that's what

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Speaker 4: we're doing. We're communicating with our body. And so if

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Speaker 4: you supercharge that with language and presence with the yoga piece,

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Speaker 4: I mean, you can see it in actors when they're

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Speaker 4: checked out. You can see it in actors when they're

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Speaker 4: like thinking about the laundry list of shit they have

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Speaker 4: to do versus the available actors, and then you add

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Speaker 4: that physical availability and it's like boom crazy.

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Speaker 2: And like you said, with the presence as well. They

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Speaker 2: often say like great actors that haven't necessarily had all

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Speaker 2: the technical training are just super great at dropping in

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Speaker 2: and being present totally. And so yeah, I just want

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Speaker 2: I just after speaking to you last week, I wanted

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Speaker 2: to say that because I think the dancing with like

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Speaker 2: in the connection, Like I could never even dream of

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Speaker 2: having that kind of connection to my body other than

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Speaker 2: from yoga, like I definitely get from Vinyason. I feel

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Speaker 2: because you're moving your body with the breath, I feel

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Speaker 2: like that brings a beautiful connection, no doubt. But there's

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Speaker 2: something about a dance that is like it's like you

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Speaker 2: know how to hit a beat with your body that

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Speaker 2: will match the beat in the script.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, now I'm really excited to see.

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Speaker 4: Oh hell you too, we got to do a scene.

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Speaker 4: But no, it's true, it's true, and it's funny like

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Speaker 4: as you, as I get older in my experience, I'm like, wow,

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Speaker 4: it's so interesting to see how all of these things

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Speaker 4: combined create so much, so much more power, Like like

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Speaker 4: I think about the stuff I've learned in yoga ah,

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Speaker 4: and you take that into an audition. Ah, you know

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Speaker 4: what I mean, like like, oh, let me calm my

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Speaker 4: breath down before I go into this room, Like oh,

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Speaker 4: let me get really like in my heart before I

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Speaker 4: do this scene, like that sort of thing where you're like,

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Speaker 4: oh wow, I can combine all these forces.

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Speaker 1: It totally.

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Speaker 2: It makes me realize there's no set path anybody in life,

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Speaker 2: in any career.

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Speaker 3: Forget acting for.

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Speaker 2: A second, but like even you're with the chocolate, like

436
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Speaker 2: it makes sense that it comes out of a love

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Speaker 2: for wanting to connect to mindful eating.

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Speaker 3: Exactly because that was my mess. Yeah, turn it into

439
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Speaker 3: more message, right, And it's that it's.

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Speaker 2: Almost like when you like almost welcome in and understand

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Speaker 2: your pain, that also becomes like your gift.

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Speaker 1: Would you agree?

443
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,120
Speaker 3: I would undoubtedly agree.

444
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 4: Yeah. I think the pain is where the alchemy is.

445
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:32,480
Speaker 4: It's the it's our crucible. It's literally our crucible. And

446
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:36,640
Speaker 4: if we resist it, well, of course, pain plots resistance

447
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 4: equal suffering. I'm not good at math, but that's one

448
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:42,440
Speaker 4: equation I have locked down. Is pain plots resistance equal suffering.

449
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,879
Speaker 4: But if we if we call forward our pain and

450
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:49,600
Speaker 4: we allow it to sit with us at the proverbial table,

451
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:53,479
Speaker 4: because every sensation deserves a seat at the table. Then

452
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 4: we can we can create that crucible. Ah, and that's

453
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:59,439
Speaker 4: where magic happens. That's where we that's where we give birth.

454
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:05,120
Speaker 4: But I mean talk about birth like birth is fucking painful. Yeah,

455
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,240
Speaker 4: like physical birth, it's painful.

456
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 1: And then rebirth when you come through the pain and death.

457
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:12,119
Speaker 3: You need to break it to you.

458
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,399
Speaker 4: It's painful, but it's it's a departure, it's a leaving,

459
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:17,560
Speaker 4: it's a crucible, it's a shift.

460
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 3: It's an alchemy.

461
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,359
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, Like I told you about all this

462
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 1: stuff all day, I.

463
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:26,359
Speaker 2: Was like literally taking notes and I was like time

464
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:28,400
Speaker 2: stamping and I was like, oh my god, that was amazing.

465
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:29,280
Speaker 1: I'm so glad.

466
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:30,400
Speaker 3: I'm so honored.

467
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:34,159
Speaker 2: So Okay, so I want to I love the like

468
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,920
Speaker 2: the spirituality, the self care study. Please tell me. And

469
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:39,479
Speaker 2: we kind of talked about this the other day. You're

470
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,879
Speaker 2: putting this into a book. You have to be yeah, yeah,

471
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:42,520
Speaker 2: I am.

472
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,640
Speaker 3: So I'm really excited.

473
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 4: I mean I think you know, my whole thing in

474
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,080
Speaker 4: again going back to like the mess into the message

475
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:54,399
Speaker 4: thing is like I was really bad at receiving, Like

476
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:56,679
Speaker 4: I was bad at receiving food. I was bad at

477
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 4: receiving love. I was bad at receiving intimacy. I was

478
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:04,280
Speaker 4: bad receiving myself. I was like, I couldn't receive myself.

479
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:05,919
Speaker 4: I wanted to get as far away from myself as

480
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:10,440
Speaker 4: I could. And so much of that is about pleasure,

481
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 4: like the pleasure of food, the pleasure of being in

482
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,879
Speaker 4: my body, the pleasure of this experience, that experience like pain.

483
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 4: I was actually pretty good at like starvation, you know,

484
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:23,200
Speaker 4: Like I was good at starving myself, really good at it.

485
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:28,400
Speaker 4: But pleasure is something that I find in our culture

486
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 4: we either are like going totally unconscious with it or

487
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,639
Speaker 4: we're not doing it at all. Right, We're either eating

488
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:42,280
Speaker 4: like the whole box of cookies, or we're not allowed cookies.

489
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,160
Speaker 3: We're watching like twenty.

490
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 4: Seven episodes of Outlander, or we're not watching Outlander at all.

491
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 3: You know what I mean.

492
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 4: Oh, I'm so it's like my total obsession right now.

493
00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 4: But you know it's like, but do it mindfully? Like

494
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 4: the difference between conscious pleasure and unconscious pleasure is mindfulness totally.

495
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:09,639
Speaker 4: Like is it is it a treat or is it

496
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,479
Speaker 4: treatment for something that you don't want to feel and

497
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:16,720
Speaker 4: it's like, okay, this, like I don't have anything delightful

498
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,919
Speaker 4: in front of me except for you. But you know,

499
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 4: like okay, this chocolate bar, Like I can savor this

500
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 4: and make it a treat or I can like eat

501
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:27,120
Speaker 4: seven of them. Yeah, and it's treatment for the fact that,

502
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:28,360
Speaker 4: like my boyfriend broke up with me.

503
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 1: And I don't feel this thing that I'm feeling.

504
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 3: I don't want to feel this. This is uncomfortable.

505
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 2: And this is where like I think the whole emotional

506
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 2: eating picture, like you've just literally described it to a

507
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:45,639
Speaker 2: tea and I think as well, like often I still

508
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:48,399
Speaker 2: have those tendencies to eat the whole box of especially

509
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,080
Speaker 2: I've found these great gluten free cookies. It traded Joe's,

510
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:53,159
Speaker 2: and I'm like, which partake.

511
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 3: I don't know, I don't know that I'm really good.

512
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:56,879
Speaker 2: And they do a gluten free sneaker doodle which is

513
00:25:56,880 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 2: really good. Yeah, soft bake, oh and no spells no, Yeah,

514
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:05,400
Speaker 2: so good. But I'm like shivers, Like they're so young,

515
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 2: and I'm like I should just make them like my

516
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:10,200
Speaker 2: treats for the week, like just make it last literally

517
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:11,760
Speaker 2: like over the course of that, I'm like, oh, one

518
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 2: more one more, one more.

519
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 1: And so I do the whole like all or not.

520
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 2: And I think that's an a type personality thing for

521
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:22,160
Speaker 2: sure as well. But when I'm at home with my boyfriend,

522
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:24,119
Speaker 2: he'll make me sit down. He's like, what are you

523
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 2: feeling right now? And if I'm always.

524
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 1: Go oh boss, I feel discombobulated and it's like, okay,

525
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 1: talk to me more, like what do you actually And

526
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 1: often when it'll either be stressed or he made me

527
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 1: realize this. I hadn't realized that.

528
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:40,680
Speaker 2: But if I'm not being creative, I feel really ungrounded

529
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:46,159
Speaker 2: and I get really like a sense of being I

530
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 2: want to say trap, but it's like I'm not connected

531
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,760
Speaker 2: to myself. Well, it was in between writing a manuscript

532
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:53,440
Speaker 2: because I write books, and he said, he's like, you're

533
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:56,440
Speaker 2: not being creative right now, that's why you feel uncomfortable. Yeah,

534
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 2: and he said, can you just draw me something? And

535
00:26:58,800 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 2: I just didn't even.

536
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 3: Think of what I drew that.

537
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:04,879
Speaker 4: I know you're adorable, sweet little Italian homie.

538
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,359
Speaker 2: So I drew this like anatomical heart with flowers coming

539
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 2: out of like all the ale autumns.

540
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:12,399
Speaker 3: Amazing are noticed as well. Well.

541
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,719
Speaker 1: I just like scribbled it like I just drew it.

542
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:17,919
Speaker 1: But I do that when I no, no, no, I just

543
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 1: enjoy it.

544
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 2: And I noticed that it calmed me down and like

545
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,360
Speaker 2: when I don't know if you know this, but Australia

546
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:27,840
Speaker 2: had a really brutal lockdown, as did here. But where

547
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 2: we lived in Victoria, we were the state that was

548
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 2: lockdown and the rest of the country was open, and

549
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,360
Speaker 2: so it was a really confronting experience to see everyone

550
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:38,360
Speaker 2: out and about that is less than like an hour

551
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 2: flight away and you're stuck in lockdown. And so he

552
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,480
Speaker 2: would just buy me coloring books and he'd be like,

553
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 2: go and cut like because it was able to, you know,

554
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:53,640
Speaker 2: find this creativity that kept me feeling fulfilled. And I

555
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:56,159
Speaker 2: noticed that there's a massive for me like and I

556
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:59,320
Speaker 2: think as you as well as a dancer, actor, creative,

557
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 2: always creating content.

558
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:04,560
Speaker 3: Great reels. By the way, thank you. It's my new jam.

559
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:06,520
Speaker 3: I'm all about it.

560
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,159
Speaker 4: So I should have brought it. We should have done

561
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,639
Speaker 4: one together. Next time when you come on my pod,

562
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,359
Speaker 4: we're gonna do yes and your pod. Tell me about

563
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,880
Speaker 4: your pod. You know, it's it's wild. It's been such

564
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:20,480
Speaker 4: a fun journey, it's been exquisite and excruciating. I had

565
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 4: my mom on actually before she passed, and we did

566
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:27,880
Speaker 4: like a full interview on her death experience, a phenomenal.

567
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 3: Phenomenal human.

568
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:31,119
Speaker 2: I saw you to a post of Hugo your mom

569
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 2: and you and she talked about not being afraid.

570
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, she was so present, and so you know,

571
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 4: she had a long it was a long goodbye, So

572
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 4: she had a lot of time to be in non resistance,

573
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 4: you know. And so because she was in non resistance,

574
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:50,800
Speaker 4: she wasn't afraid. And that was the most exquisite thing

575
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 4: and the most precious gift she could have given all

576
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,600
Speaker 4: of us. Because as much as it was so difficult

577
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 4: for all of us to see her go, and we're

578
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 4: all still grieving, I know, I certainly am.

579
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:06,520
Speaker 3: It was nine months ago. The beauty of knowing that she.

580
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 4: Wasn't like pining for like her last breath, it was like,

581
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 4: I know, this is time.

582
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:13,440
Speaker 3: It's time.

583
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 4: Wow, you know, And that's that's such a gift she

584
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:17,520
Speaker 4: gave us, and such a gift I think she gave

585
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 4: herself so rare.

586
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 3: She did her work, we all did.

587
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 2: I think you and I are around about a similar

588
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:27,520
Speaker 2: kind of age group. And I noted so like my

589
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 2: grandparents have passed, and it's been really interesting. My grandpa

590
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,240
Speaker 2: was in the wall we got, you know, and he

591
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 2: was like, I'm ready, guys, let's kick this off.

592
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 1: Like he'd had too much. He was like, I'm ready,

593
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 1: Grandma's waiting for me.

594
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 2: And he was very almost militant, but hilarious, and so

595
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 2: it became this kind of It was a really interesting experience.

596
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 2: It was almost a celebration. It sounds so versus losing

597
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 2: someone that didn't know, like didn't know was coming.

598
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 1: It's a much different experience.

599
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 2: And we're all The other thing is we were all

600
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 2: holding on so tight when we weren't expecting it. Whereas

601
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 2: when my grandpa was like, guys, I want a geo.

602
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 3: Literally that is what he said. He goes, I want

603
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 3: a g I'm read.

604
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:13,960
Speaker 1: He's ninety seven, and he was like, this is I'm

605
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 1: not tapped out.

606
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 2: I'm tapped out, and it's it's such, it's and he

607
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 2: was definitely was didn't have a mindfulness practice like your

608
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 2: mom did, but he did within himself.

609
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 3: That's amazing. And he had he had again, he had surrendered.

610
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 3: He was like he was ready, I'm ready. Not only

611
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:33,160
Speaker 3: am I ready, I'm like let's do it.

612
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it so fascinating. And I know you

613
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 2: are very into therapy as well. I'm very pro there.

614
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 2: And I worked with my therapist through all of losing

615
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 2: each of my grandparents and he said, like death is

616
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 2: a he said, he might tell you a little while

617
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:51,360
Speaker 2: to get your head around this is like, but death

618
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:52,640
Speaker 2: is freedom.

619
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:57,520
Speaker 3: Bill, right. I let that one hit for a second.

620
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, And he said that only he said, the only

621
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:05,320
Speaker 1: thing that you're feeling right now is your own loss,

622
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 1: not the loss of Like he's like, your nan is

623
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 1: happy right now, you know, no doubt.

624
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:13,640
Speaker 2: So really interesting. It made me kind of check myself

625
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 2: because I was sitting in there. I'm never gonna I

626
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 2: was like, I'm never gonna smell the perfume again. I'm

627
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 2: never going to do this, and he's like, what are

628
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 2: you talking about. He's like, you can smell that anytime

629
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 2: you want to feel that, and like just.

630
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:24,960
Speaker 3: Go back there.

631
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 2: Like really interesting, and call my therapist also like a

632
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 2: hypnotherapist and really cool.

633
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 3: I call him my sham and it.

634
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:34,920
Speaker 1: He's like, you cat, if you want to call me that,

635
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 1: I love it. Technically your therapist, but sure, whatever.

636
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 4: You need, totally, totally hear all of that. I think

637
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 4: Rahm Das said death is like taking off a shoe

638
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 4: that's too tight, you know, and it's just like, oh oh,

639
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 4: thank god.

640
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:54,880
Speaker 2: Yeah there relate relise of it, can we? And I

641
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 2: know I'm shifting channels here. This is where my brain works.

642
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 2: So I'm let's yeah, I want to know about chocolate

643
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 2: because I know, like with lot of coffee, it is

644
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:07,400
Speaker 2: a beast to create an actual product. In Australia, you've

645
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:10,480
Speaker 2: got like TGA laws. I imagine you've got FDA here.

646
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 2: I want to talk to you about the name game

647
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 2: because it's going through a name shift right now, take

648
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:18,640
Speaker 2: me through. But first of all, where was it birth?

649
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 2: Obviously the mindfore is around food.

650
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:21,239
Speaker 3: But go for it.

651
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 4: My god, thank you for like honoring and also knowing

652
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:28,240
Speaker 4: that industry because it's such a funny thing. Like you

653
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:29,520
Speaker 4: think like, oh, yeah, I'm just going to do this

654
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:30,880
Speaker 4: thing and I'm going to like get this thing going,

655
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 4: and it's like.

656
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 3: It's no joke, no joke. It's no joke, guys.

657
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,360
Speaker 4: And that's not to detour anyone from doing whatever the

658
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:39,160
Speaker 4: fuck they want, like go nuts.

659
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 3: But it is no joke.

660
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 4: And so yeah, no, I created a brand originally called

661
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 4: Savage Chocolate's. My last name is Sidvagio, which means and

662
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 4: I say it with the Italian. I think they speak

663
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 4: Italian somewhat, and it means savage. Slavashia means savage in Italian.

664
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 4: So so I wanted to create the product around mindful eating.

665
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 4: We encourage everyone to pause, breathe, and saber before they eat.

666
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 4: There's even a QR code inside the bar that leads

667
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 4: to a one minute breathwork practice so they can do

668
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 4: their breath work and then enjoy the chocolate.

669
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 3: So it really is, as.

670
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 4: We call it, pleasure done well, like pleasure done presently,

671
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 4: rather than the treatment for something we don't want to feel.

672
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:24,239
Speaker 4: And so yeah, it actually ironically, I was teaching in

673
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 4: tou Loom and.

674
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 2: Ah, I love to loom, best yoga, best messages, body works.

675
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 3: Best food, everything. Yeah, it's so good.

676
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 4: It's so good, Diris, please give me all the tulum love.

677
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:41,520
Speaker 3: I love it.

678
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,920
Speaker 4: So I was teaching a retreat there, and at the

679
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 4: retreat center it's called catso Ome, they had this shaman

680
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 4: that was living on site and she was offering like

681
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 4: other classes that retreat takers could take. Yeah, and so

682
00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:59,720
Speaker 4: she was like, I'm going to do a vegan chocolate

683
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 4: class and yeah, totally, and I was like, yeah, I'm

684
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 4: signing up for that, and so I did. I did

685
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 4: the class, and it was great information because it gave

686
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 4: me a really nice, like introduction to just like tempering

687
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,799
Speaker 4: chocolate and like all of those details and also like

688
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:23,400
Speaker 4: the kind of ritual around cocao and all of the things.

689
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:24,919
Speaker 3: But I did.

690
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:26,880
Speaker 4: I learned how to make it, and then I was like,

691
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:28,759
Speaker 4: you know what, Like this is good, but I can

692
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:31,319
Speaker 4: totally make this better.

693
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 2: Yea.

694
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:34,960
Speaker 4: So I was like, I want you know, like she

695
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:37,120
Speaker 4: was using like a gave nectar and I was like,

696
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:39,799
Speaker 4: you know, nothing, no offense to a gave, but it

697
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,600
Speaker 4: does throw off the temper, so it needed to be refrigerated.

698
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:43,880
Speaker 3: I was like, I want to.

699
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 4: I want to try it with coconut sugar, and I

700
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:47,719
Speaker 4: tried it with monk fruit, and I tried it with

701
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 4: all these different sweeteners and I upped the amount of

702
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 4: cocao in it, and I just kind of played with it.

703
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:55,480
Speaker 4: I'd say I played with it for like two months

704
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 4: as far as you know, just flavors, and I finally

705
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 4: found one that I really liked and I wanted to

706
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 4: you know, I had always been the product. Like as

707
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 4: either an actress, I was the product, or as a

708
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:11,719
Speaker 4: yoga teacher or a meditation teacher or a speaker, I

709
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 4: was the product.

710
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,279
Speaker 3: And I wanted to explore having.

711
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 4: A physical product that could teach what I was teaching

712
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:21,279
Speaker 4: on the yoga mat or on the meditation cushion. But

713
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:23,319
Speaker 4: while we ate, because I did, I found that like

714
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 4: we were all president and accounted for on the yoga mat.

715
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:27,160
Speaker 3: Then we get off the mat and it was.

716
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 4: Like pilot yeah, yeah, like all like right over our heads,

717
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:34,160
Speaker 4: flipping people off in the car and like do there,

718
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:37,360
Speaker 4: you know, like we're like we're right back to it.

719
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:38,839
Speaker 4: And so I was like, if I can just take

720
00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:43,279
Speaker 4: this presence piece and bring it to my mess, then

721
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:46,840
Speaker 4: maybe someone else will be helped. Maybe someone else who

722
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,680
Speaker 4: is struggling to love their body or to allow themselves

723
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 4: to experience conscious pleasure can actually like have a moment

724
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:54,399
Speaker 4: a play, you know. And that's the thing too. It's

725
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:56,799
Speaker 4: like and you and I both traveled a lot. Like

726
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:00,200
Speaker 4: you know, when you go on a trip, like you

727
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:03,279
Speaker 4: go to Italy or you go to wherever, you're kind

728
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 4: of in this awe state of presence because it's new.

729
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:08,200
Speaker 3: You're like, oh, this is new.

730
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:12,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you're super embodied and so you're tasting the

731
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:16,239
Speaker 4: food and you're like doing the things. That's beautiful, and

732
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:20,080
Speaker 4: those are great reminders. But why can't we do that

733
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 4: all the time. Like again, the difference between conscious and

734
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:26,279
Speaker 4: unconscious pleasure is savoring its mindfulness.

735
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 3: So if we can just pause, breathe, and save her

736
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 3: before we consume.

737
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:37,360
Speaker 4: You know, the day before my mom died, she was

738
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:40,000
Speaker 4: totally still like conscious and able to get around a

739
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:42,280
Speaker 4: little bit, like she was having trouble walking at that point,

740
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:46,480
Speaker 4: but we could get her around, and she really wanted

741
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 4: to sit outside and just like have coffee and toast outside.

742
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:52,400
Speaker 3: And it was early in the morning. I was the

743
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 3: only one awake, and.

744
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 4: I couldn't get her down the stairs by myself. So

745
00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 4: I said, okay, let's make a deal to put you

746
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 4: in a nice chair by the window. We'll open up

747
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 4: the windows all the way and i'll come get I'll

748
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 4: go get your good china, and we'll sit by the

749
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 4: window and drink coffee together. Because I just didn't feel

750
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 4: comfortable getting her down there by myself. And she said, yeah,

751
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 4: that's fine, that's fine for now, and I did. I

752
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,480
Speaker 4: sat her by the window. I turned on some really

753
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:21,400
Speaker 4: beautiful music. You could hear the birds chirping. It was

754
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 4: a beautiful fall day. And I brought her her coffee

755
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:30,640
Speaker 4: and her good china, and she just sat there and

756
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:33,879
Speaker 4: she savored every sip because she knew that was it,

757
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:35,440
Speaker 4: Like she knew.

758
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:36,160
Speaker 3: That she was leaving.

759
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:42,400
Speaker 4: And the process of watching her really like it wasn't fancy.

760
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 4: She was sitting by a fucking window drinking coffee like

761
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:50,480
Speaker 4: it was not an extravagant experience. But I've never seen

762
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:54,480
Speaker 4: anything so mindful or magnificent in my life, because she

763
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:58,160
Speaker 4: was so clear on the fact that she was soon

764
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,799
Speaker 4: to depart that she was like every.

765
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,960
Speaker 3: Sip was like amazing.

766
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 4: And that's not to say that every zip of coffee

767
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 4: needs to be that, or every kiss needs to be that,

768
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:12,920
Speaker 4: or every sunset needs to be that. But it is

769
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:16,920
Speaker 4: such a beautiful way to drop into our femininity. Both

770
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:20,240
Speaker 4: men and women try to drop into the feminine archetype.

771
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:24,280
Speaker 4: To drop into that feminine nature is pleasure. That is pleasure.

772
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:28,319
Speaker 4: And we live in a patriarchal system, honey, And so

773
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 4: to actually integrate the slowing down the receivership, the pleasure.

774
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:37,040
Speaker 4: That's that's actually where we restore back into balance, because

775
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 4: right now we are all penetrative. We are go, go go,

776
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 4: We are hush, hustle, do it quick, do it fast,

777
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:45,000
Speaker 4: make it work, do the thing like it's all output,

778
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:47,800
Speaker 4: there's no input. And then when we do allow ourselves

779
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:50,280
Speaker 4: to input, we're eating the whole fucking box of cookies.

780
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:52,239
Speaker 4: And then we're shaming ourselves and going, oh my god,

781
00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:54,279
Speaker 4: why don't I have any self control? Not eating for

782
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 4: a week. So it's this really wild integration.

783
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:02,879
Speaker 2: Can I just say, your mom's legends, Oh superhero, and

784
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:05,840
Speaker 2: what a gift for you to be able to share.

785
00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:06,799
Speaker 1: In that moment with her.

786
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,240
Speaker 2: I don't know if you're a Ricky Gervas fans. Usually

787
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:12,800
Speaker 2: Americans are split. I like Ricky, but OSSI's are obsessed

788
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:16,360
Speaker 2: Brits and OSSI's kind of have that self deprecating humor.

789
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:19,360
Speaker 2: And he talks quite beautifully about death. He's got a

790
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:22,440
Speaker 2: whole show on it called The Afterlife Amazing, and it's

791
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:26,720
Speaker 2: filmed it a like I don't know how. It's a

792
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:30,719
Speaker 2: retirement village kind of thing, and he talks about he

793
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:33,120
Speaker 2: faces a lot of death in the show, but he's

794
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:36,760
Speaker 2: got this wicked sense of humor, and in an interview

795
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:41,680
Speaker 2: he said, what what makes life so amazing is that

796
00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:45,319
Speaker 2: we die and so whatever you want to do in it.

797
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 2: And like, I get a lot of pressure on Instagram

798
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,000
Speaker 2: about why I haven't had kids yet and why I'm

799
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 2: not married and.

800
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:52,239
Speaker 1: All that kind of thing.

801
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 2: But I will always watch interviews with Ricky Gervas because

802
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:59,239
Speaker 2: he has really marched the beat of his own drugs, Like,

803
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,400
Speaker 2: but why do I have to have a kid. He's like,

804
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 2: I've got a He loves animals, you know, and he.

805
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:10,000
Speaker 3: Talks about like really honoring what's right for him in

806
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,759
Speaker 3: his life. And I don't know. I just when you were.

807
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,879
Speaker 1: Sharing that about your mom and that knowing and.

808
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,520
Speaker 2: Being so clear because she knew she was going, we're

809
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:20,719
Speaker 2: all going, yeah, no one gets out of here alive.

810
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:23,279
Speaker 2: But like, I'm never as clear as your mum was

811
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 2: in that mind. I've already had two coffees today and

812
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 2: they were young, I can tell.

813
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:27,799
Speaker 1: You that much.

814
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 2: Enjoying the present, I mean, I was researching you for

815
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 2: this podcast, which was awesome, But yeah, I think it's

816
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:38,719
Speaker 2: a beautiful reminder to feel clear as often as you

817
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:42,480
Speaker 2: can because also then, whether it be you're chasing your

818
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:47,040
Speaker 2: career or not, like it makes you enjoy every single

819
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:51,759
Speaker 2: setback and rejection and the stuff that is uncomfortable.

820
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:54,560
Speaker 3: They're actually great experiences.

821
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:57,719
Speaker 2: And I'm sure you will agree with this, and this

822
00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 2: is why the podcast is called Fearlessly Failed.

823
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,080
Speaker 3: I think the failures.

824
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 1: Are the best bits because.

825
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 3: You learn about yourself, you're and your resilience.

826
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:08,920
Speaker 2: Like I have learned even get it's very hard for

827
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:11,040
Speaker 2: Australian to be in America right now, I've learned that

828
00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:15,680
Speaker 2: my resilience is like amazing, way stronger than I ever

829
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:20,239
Speaker 2: thought it was amazing. But that's from feeling uncomfortable. That's

830
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 2: from losing a shit ton of money to get over

831
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:24,279
Speaker 2: here and spending a crazy amount of I'm like, I

832
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:26,839
Speaker 2: could have had a mortgage on a hot home if

833
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:30,720
Speaker 2: I didn't choose to trace this dream right and again

834
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:35,520
Speaker 2: it comes down to this clarity of knowing who you

835
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:39,319
Speaker 2: are and knowing that you're going to die exactly and

836
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:44,280
Speaker 2: knowing that, hey, well, why don't I enjoy every moment

837
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,120
Speaker 2: of what I've got in this gift? And sure, it's

838
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:47,840
Speaker 2: going to feel like shit a lot of the time,

839
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:50,000
Speaker 2: a lot of it and like, and I like the

840
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:53,480
Speaker 2: way you've spoken in the past about relationships and like

841
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:56,279
Speaker 2: going after that thing that is so painful for you

842
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:59,320
Speaker 2: and almost like knowing that it's the wrong thing.

843
00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:01,440
Speaker 1: But still going for that unavailable situation.

844
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:05,680
Speaker 2: And that's taken pain for me to even realize what

845
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 2: a healthy relationship is, which is what I shout out

846
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:10,880
Speaker 2: to you, boss, shout out to Matt, Yeah you know

847
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 2: what I mean, Like, so yeah, thank you for sharing

848
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:16,920
Speaker 2: that with your mom. That really kind of like triggered

849
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 2: me to realize. It's an image that I meditate on totally.

850
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:22,839
Speaker 2: Like I totally drop into that in moments where I'm

851
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:25,640
Speaker 2: like rush, like oh, chug this, like like hold on,

852
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 2: hold on, like the image of just the breeze against

853
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:32,120
Speaker 2: her skin and like really just savoring that like she's

854
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 2: my greatest teacher totally, And and that is exactly right,

855
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 2: like the failures, the pain. We would not know the

856
00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:43,279
Speaker 2: nadir unless we knew the zenith, and we would not

857
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,320
Speaker 2: know the zenith unless we knew the nadior, like the

858
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 2: highest point of the lowest point.

859
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:50,200
Speaker 3: We wouldn't know them if they didn't exist.

860
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 4: So like that height of pleasure which we can find

861
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:58,840
Speaker 4: pleasure in like these big grand things like like a trip,

862
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:02,920
Speaker 4: or like a lascivious like sexual encounter, or like like

863
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:07,520
Speaker 4: a fantastic meal, or we can take pleasure in the mundane,

864
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:11,759
Speaker 4: like sitting by the window drinking coffee. And our ability

865
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:14,560
Speaker 4: to hold space for all of that is equivalent to

866
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:18,480
Speaker 4: our ability to hold space for our pain. You cannot

867
00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 4: selectively numb out a sensation, and so our ability to

868
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:28,120
Speaker 4: be with our pain, which again, greatest teacher, Like the

869
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 4: death of the person that was the closest to me

870
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 4: on the planet, It's like, I actually feel so much

871
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 4: braver because I've survived that. Like I'm like, yeah, cool,

872
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:41,799
Speaker 4: I'll get into a relationship with you now, Like if

873
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:44,680
Speaker 4: you break my heart, I'm gonna be fucking fine.

874
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:46,319
Speaker 2: I was a bad So what went through my head

875
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:48,839
Speaker 2: when you were saying about losing the you know, your

876
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 2: person on this planet. I was like, Oh, you must

877
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:52,040
Speaker 2: be so fearless now.

878
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:55,800
Speaker 4: It's it's very exhilarating in that sense where I'm like, Okay,

879
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 4: I survived that, and you better believe nine months later

880
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:02,759
Speaker 4: after her, you know, leaving her body, I still have

881
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 4: ways of tremendous grief, and which is healthy which is

882
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 4: so healthy, and anyone who doesn't like please get into

883
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:15,800
Speaker 4: therapy because it's it's really like the word depression means

884
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:23,520
Speaker 4: to depress, like to push down primarily to depress our emotions.

885
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 4: And emotions are energy in motion, so like they're meant

886
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:31,799
Speaker 4: to move through us, and when we are depressing them,

887
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:35,000
Speaker 4: we get depressed, and then we wonder why we go

888
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:37,320
Speaker 4: through our shit and we're like, God, I'm like still

889
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:39,400
Speaker 4: heartbroken over this guy. It's like, okay, well, what have

890
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:40,400
Speaker 4: you been depressing?

891
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:41,080
Speaker 3: What are you?

892
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:44,400
Speaker 4: I think Madonna said it and her something like express yourself,

893
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:47,759
Speaker 4: don't repress yourself. Like I'm like, go off, Madonna, like, dude,

894
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 4: Like it sounds so it sounds so obvious, and yet

895
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:52,799
Speaker 4: we are a culture of you know, and this is

896
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:57,840
Speaker 4: where the patriarchy has really like screwed everybody, because you know,

897
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,319
Speaker 4: the patriarchy is just as terrible for women and as

898
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 4: it is for men. Like there really is such a

899
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:09,719
Speaker 4: straight jacket we put our men in around feeling sensation. Yeah,

900
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:12,720
Speaker 4: it's a it's a straight jacket, and that's really really brutal,

901
00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:18,520
Speaker 4: Like women have have suffered the like physical, mental, emotional

902
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 4: brunt of that. But that emotional brunt that the men

903
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:24,839
Speaker 4: have faced because of the it serves no one.

904
00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:28,560
Speaker 2: I will say being in America men and being in

905
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:30,880
Speaker 2: acting school because we have to speak about our feelings

906
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:32,080
Speaker 2: a lot in acting school.

907
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 1: The men here are so.

908
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:39,640
Speaker 2: Good at it in compared to Australia, because Australia is

909
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 2: a little bit more. Yeah, other than like and I

910
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:46,719
Speaker 2: remember when I met Matt, I call him boss. He's

911
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 2: very great, even has three older sisters, and so he's

912
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 2: so in touch with his feminine Yes, probably more than

913
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 2: I am.

914
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:57,279
Speaker 3: He's Italian and truly Italian manner. Yeah, like passion it, Yeah,

915
00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 3: they're a little like that.

916
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:04,120
Speaker 2: Totally, like love and food he's too, He's got so

917
00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:06,439
Speaker 2: many sayings. Is like, you treat food, how you make love,

918
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:08,080
Speaker 2: You treat love how you make food.

919
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:11,760
Speaker 4: And boom sharka, that's why I lost my virginity in Italy.

920
00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:16,880
Speaker 3: How wonder that one's extra?

921
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:22,840
Speaker 2: But yeah, and I I I love that you're calling

922
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 2: this out. But I do also feel like there is

923
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:26,759
Speaker 2: a change of there is a wave of change. I

924
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 2: feel like I'm watching some of it without a doubt.

925
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,840
Speaker 2: And this is why the momentum is important.

926
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally, I totally agree with you.

927
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:38,799
Speaker 2: Two more questions because yeah, like I said, I could

928
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 2: talk to you all day, I have to ask a

929
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:42,160
Speaker 2: to loom question clearly because it's one of my favorite

930
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:45,240
Speaker 2: places in the world. Did you swim in a sonata

931
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:47,759
Speaker 2: the under the underground.

932
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:49,920
Speaker 3: Fall Snorkel moment? Yes, incredible?

933
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:51,879
Speaker 1: What do they How would you describe it because most

934
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:52,799
Speaker 1: don't know what they are.

935
00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:55,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just like a sinkhole. It's literally like a

936
00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:58,800
Speaker 4: crater in the earth that is like an underground cave

937
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:02,799
Speaker 4: and you can like swim through it and like this.

938
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 3: The life in there, it's just like is total.

939
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:12,000
Speaker 4: It's so beautiful and the water is super clean and gorgeous.

940
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:14,000
Speaker 3: Google after this I would have.

941
00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:17,480
Speaker 2: But also I did some research before I swam, and

942
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:21,399
Speaker 2: apparently they say like in like has it my own

943
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:27,399
Speaker 2: like culture there? Underwater gods all live in the Sonatas,

944
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 2: And I was like, I.

945
00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:28,560
Speaker 3: Didn't know that.

946
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:29,520
Speaker 1: Give me some of that.

947
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:34,320
Speaker 3: Energy, yeah, give me the Mayan gods right, yes, yeah,

948
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:35,320
Speaker 3: so fascinate.

949
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:37,879
Speaker 2: Definitely put to loom on when the world opens up again,

950
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:42,720
Speaker 2: I'm to loom I tell people's and phenomenal final questions.

951
00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:44,959
Speaker 2: So for people, obviously you're so connected to your truth.

952
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:48,279
Speaker 2: You're so connected to your purpose, you're so open about

953
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:50,319
Speaker 2: having days, but you don't feel those things as well.

954
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:55,919
Speaker 2: Sure for people that are like I love how honest and.

955
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:58,839
Speaker 3: Real and here I am you are, but.

956
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:01,120
Speaker 2: That is also rare, like call a spade a spade,

957
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:03,239
Speaker 2: And so for people that might be listening to this

958
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:04,480
Speaker 2: going I want.

959
00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 3: More of that.

960
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:08,839
Speaker 2: I want to feel that, and it's really scary and

961
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 2: I you know, like I've got plenty of mates that

962
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:17,280
Speaker 2: self medicate through smoking, shopping, sex. Booze is a big one.

963
00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:19,440
Speaker 1: In Australia, so these are real drinkers.

964
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:23,799
Speaker 2: And like so many of my mates emotionally eat, which

965
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:25,000
Speaker 2: is just the exact same.

966
00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:26,640
Speaker 1: So what would your advise.

967
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:28,880
Speaker 2: Me if you if you kind of want to feel

968
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:31,200
Speaker 2: more like you feel like I'm really clear and connected

969
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:34,280
Speaker 2: that you're a bit afraid of going there?

970
00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 3: Yes, oh my god, I love it. Well.

971
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 4: First of all, the fear is the most normal thing

972
00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:44,480
Speaker 4: on the planet, you know, like I still have resistance

973
00:48:44,560 --> 00:48:47,279
Speaker 4: to dropping into breathwork, Like I still have resistance to it.

974
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:51,000
Speaker 4: And the question is, whenever I find myself wanting to

975
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:55,319
Speaker 4: check out rather than check in, what am I avoiding feeling? Like?

976
00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:59,600
Speaker 4: What am I trying to avoid what's underneath this Is

977
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:03,359
Speaker 4: it because I'm anxious today because I didn't hear back

978
00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:04,760
Speaker 4: from this that or the other person?

979
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:08,960
Speaker 3: Is this is it because I had this happen to me?

980
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:11,440
Speaker 4: Is it because I'm having a I can tell a

981
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:14,000
Speaker 4: wave of grief about my mom's death is coming. So

982
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:16,440
Speaker 4: the question once we can figure out kind of why

983
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:19,479
Speaker 4: we're wanting to check out rather than check in, that's

984
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:21,920
Speaker 4: to me, that's super helpful because it gets me kind

985
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:25,280
Speaker 4: of cognitive and then dropping into the heart like I'll

986
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:27,600
Speaker 4: like you'll actually see I've probably done it three times

987
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:29,560
Speaker 4: during this podcast, putting one hand on my heart, one

988
00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:33,280
Speaker 4: hand on my belly, and just offering myself my own attention,

989
00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:36,680
Speaker 4: even if it's just three breaths into the heart and

990
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:41,920
Speaker 4: into the belly. That is that is like an immediate

991
00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:43,759
Speaker 4: connection to self totally.

992
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:47,360
Speaker 3: It's me. You're like, I'm right here, I'm right here.

993
00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:50,080
Speaker 4: And then the other thing I do to do for myself,

994
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 4: that's like I like these like little kind of one

995
00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:55,919
Speaker 4: liner moments, is I ask myself how I am.

996
00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:59,600
Speaker 3: Like I'm like, hey, Alexa, like how are you? What's

997
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:03,040
Speaker 3: going on? Like where are we at? Because we spent

998
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:06,839
Speaker 3: all day being like, my queen, how are you? What's

999
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:07,319
Speaker 3: going on?

1000
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:10,440
Speaker 4: Like we're always asking everybody else, but like when was

1001
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:13,360
Speaker 4: the last time you actually stopped and asked yourself and

1002
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:15,359
Speaker 4: then actually listen for the answer.

1003
00:50:15,160 --> 00:50:17,480
Speaker 3: Like pause long enough to listen.

1004
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:22,000
Speaker 4: And for me, like it's been about cultivating a relationship

1005
00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:26,440
Speaker 4: to slowing down because for me, I'm so fast and

1006
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 4: I'm so like furious, like like ah, to get.

1007
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 3: It all done?

1008
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:33,799
Speaker 4: For me, the question was like what am I trying

1009
00:50:33,800 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 4: to outrun by disconnecting from myself totally and so getting

1010
00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:43,080
Speaker 4: into the body, Like getting into the body, that's actually

1011
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:45,719
Speaker 4: our point of liberation. My friend Lauren Taos, who's an

1012
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:49,000
Speaker 4: incredible psychotherapist. She has a lot of work with psychedelics.

1013
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:52,000
Speaker 4: Actually she works like with ketamine assistant therapy. She's hosting

1014
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:54,840
Speaker 4: an entire symposium in a couple of weeks. She's amazing.

1015
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:56,879
Speaker 4: You Actually I would love for you to chat with her.

1016
00:50:57,080 --> 00:51:03,480
Speaker 2: Yeah ketamine, yeah no, yeah, it's like having wildly just

1017
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 2: incredible impact on people with PTSD, people with eating disorders,

1018
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 2: Like huge healing is happening because in Australia O k

1019
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:14,799
Speaker 2: R ketamine is used as like a party drug, to

1020
00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:17,920
Speaker 2: the point that you're pretty obliterated though, because you lose function.

1021
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:18,399
Speaker 4: Yes.

1022
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:20,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you use too much, it can be like

1023
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:21,160
Speaker 3: a tranquilizer.

1024
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:24,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, in proper dosage, it leads to more of a

1025
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:28,239
Speaker 4: psychedelic effect and drops you very much into your heart.

1026
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:31,040
Speaker 3: Oh ship, where was I going with?

1027
00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:31,320
Speaker 1: No?

1028
00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:37,160
Speaker 4: I got I got it. So a incredible healing is happening.

1029
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:39,200
Speaker 4: I've actually never done a kedemene assisted therapy, but I

1030
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:43,719
Speaker 4: have dabbled in ceremonial psychedelic use.

1031
00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:48,000
Speaker 3: Cool. And but my friend Lauren Taos, who.

1032
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:51,120
Speaker 4: Also was an e disorder yoga teacher person who's now

1033
00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:56,319
Speaker 4: a therapist doing kedemeniss theory, she said, the path to

1034
00:51:56,480 --> 00:52:01,400
Speaker 4: uscension takes dcension, Like we can't we can't like go

1035
00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:04,480
Speaker 4: higher unless we drop into our body, like we have

1036
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:08,480
Speaker 4: to drop into our body because we cannot ground. Yeah,

1037
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:11,320
Speaker 4: we have to ground and then we can can continue

1038
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:11,800
Speaker 4: to ascend.

1039
00:52:13,040 --> 00:52:16,720
Speaker 3: Ah, so nice, get into the body for this book.

1040
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:17,439
Speaker 3: Cannot wait?

1041
00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:21,680
Speaker 2: If people so, how can Aussi's so I'm gonna put

1042
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:25,239
Speaker 2: all your install links in there. I'll put your pod

1043
00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:28,960
Speaker 2: link installing chocolate. What about for Australians? Should I just

1044
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:30,879
Speaker 2: order it online via you? Is that the best way

1045
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:31,200
Speaker 2: to do it.

1046
00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 4: So I think right now it's the only place you

1047
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:37,400
Speaker 4: can buy it is through a company called ORCA for

1048
00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:41,239
Speaker 4: online shipping. Yeah, and then yeah, I think that's it

1049
00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:45,440
Speaker 4: for Aussie's. But in America it's everywhere. Yeah, it's everywhere.

1050
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:48,359
Speaker 4: I'm hoping that'll change this year, but we just start.

1051
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:50,799
Speaker 4: We're one year old, so we're still like we're still

1052
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:53,399
Speaker 4: figuring out all the details and a pandemic year, so.

1053
00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:55,239
Speaker 1: It's need a little tough. It is now going to

1054
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:57,640
Speaker 1: be called rich as well. I nearly skipped over.

1055
00:52:57,520 --> 00:52:58,440
Speaker 3: That, yeah, totally.

1056
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:01,759
Speaker 4: So we had to change the name because savage is

1057
00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:07,000
Speaker 4: offensive to many people here in the United States, many

1058
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:10,080
Speaker 4: people in Canada Native American cultures. Yes, like a very

1059
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:13,799
Speaker 4: offensive word. So despite you know, and obviously I want

1060
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:17,319
Speaker 4: to be sensitive to that, and also like there are

1061
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:19,200
Speaker 4: other names that are beautiful. Despite the fact that my

1062
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:21,520
Speaker 4: last name means savage, It's like, okay, we can, we

1063
00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:24,799
Speaker 4: can mess with this. So yeah, So basically the whole

1064
00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:28,120
Speaker 4: brand is about ritual, like making chocolate, making pleasure or ritual.

1065
00:53:28,160 --> 00:53:29,480
Speaker 3: So it's rich chocolate ritual.

1066
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:34,239
Speaker 4: So it's our itch, so it'll be it soon to

1067
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:37,880
Speaker 4: be Rich rituals dot com perfect.

1068
00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:38,360
Speaker 3: Thank you.

1069
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:40,520
Speaker 1: I'm glad we touched on that because I nearly skipped

1070
00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 1: over it.

1071
00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:43,600
Speaker 3: I did too. I think we started and then I

1072
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:44,759
Speaker 3: had another dtour.

1073
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:49,879
Speaker 2: Detour as much as you want, Alexa, it's total holy

1074
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:54,160
Speaker 2: to have you on this podcast. I cannot wait to

1075
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:56,200
Speaker 2: release this chat.

1076
00:53:56,640 --> 00:53:57,600
Speaker 3: You're wonderful and you've.

1077
00:53:57,440 --> 00:53:59,840
Speaker 2: Really inspired me, and your mom has really inspired me.

1078
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:01,440
Speaker 2: Thank you for sharing all of that.

1079
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:04,200
Speaker 3: Of course, what a pleasure to chat with you. You're amazing.

1080
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:06,320
Speaker 1: Big love, my friend.

1081
00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 2: That's a wrap on another episode of Fearlessly Failing. As always,

1082
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:17,520
Speaker 2: thank you to our guests, and let's continue the conversation

1083
00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 2: on Instagram.

1084
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:21,279
Speaker 1: I'm at Yamo lollaberry.

1085
00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:26,080
Speaker 2: This potty my word for podcast is available on all

1086
00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:30,080
Speaker 2: streaming platforms. I'd love it if you could subscribe, rate

1087
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:32,960
Speaker 2: and comment, and of course spread the love.